Latest / Doing Marriage Well / Why Avoiding Fights Might Be Killing Your Relationship

Transcript

Why Avoiding Fights Might Be Killing Your Relationship · Doing Marriage Well

• 0:00
  Doing Marriage Well for June 30, 2026 Why Avoiding Fights Might Be Killing Your
• 0:05
  Relationship In a sermon, Sean asked three questions.
• 0:09
  I am rephrasing them to make them just about marriage, but they apply to any close relationship.
• 0:14
  Today, the first question.
• 0:16
  Ask yourself if, in the last two weeks, have you emotionally checked out of
• 0:20
  your marriage under the guise of protecting it, becoming passive or non-responsive to your spouse.
• 0:26
  A specific example Sean gave was excellent. For example, wives washing their
• 0:31
  hands of their husbands' decisions I've heard many Christian women say some
• 0:35
  version of It's his decision, I'm just the wife And I'm just submitting to his leadership in the home,
• 0:40
  This pretends that God appointed you as this man's wife To do whatever he says
• 0:45
  While withholding your wisdom, courage, concern, and honest counsel.
• 0:49
  Our role as husband and wife is to represent Christ's relationship with the
• 0:53
  church, which is marked by servanthood, long-suffering, and a lifetime of care.
• 0:58
  Another version of this one is disengaging to protect their feelings.
• 1:02
  If what you think would hurt their feelings is the truth, then your spouse needs to hear it.
• 1:06
  If you can't share it in love, that's your failing, and that's nothing to do with them.
• 1:11
  Usually, we do this to avoid a fight. If it's a fight you've had over and over,
• 1:15
  then you need to get some third-party help with it.
• 1:18
  If it's a fight you've never had, or stopped having a while ago,
• 1:21
  then you need to deal with it Avoiding the truth to avoid hurting feelings is
• 1:25
  neither loving nor biblical,
• 1:27
  Avoiding a conversation by saying, I can't talk about this with you, is also unacceptable,
• 1:33
  I can't talk about it now, or I need some time to think about it before we talk,
• 1:37
  are fine As long as you come back around to it Communication is the lifeblood
• 1:42
  of relationships And cutting communication off in the name of protecting the
• 1:45
  relationship is contrary to that truth,
• 1:48
  Going back to the passage, King David's refusal to engage cost him and those around him a great deal.
• 1:54
  Among other things, it cost him the lives of the sons he refused to engage.
• 1:58
  Refusing to engage your spouse will harm your marriage, and it could lead to its death.
• 2:03
  Ask yourself, have you emotionally checked out of your marriage in any way?
• 2:07
  Are there conversations you have avoided that you need to have?
• 2:10
  This is Paul, and doing marriage well requires engaging your spouse.