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Setting Healthy Boundaries is the Key to Healthy Aging · Doctor Turned Health Coach

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  Welcome to the Doctor Turned Health Coach Podcast. My name is Dr.
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  Ashuri, family medicine physician who is supporting you through health coaching
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  and guiding you with the expertise of a physician.
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  And today we're going to talk about setting boundaries.
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  Now, this could be a huge deep dive, but on the surface,
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  boundaries are the things we get to decide, the guidelines we get to set for
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  our lives well before anybody else intervenes and steps in.
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  When we have a new friendship or relationship with a parent,
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  having a guideline, having boundaries means that we get to have a little bit
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  more control over the narrative.
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  If we have a parent who might be a little overbearing even as adults.
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  Letting them know that like this is the one topic that you will not discuss,
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  classic one is a parent will criticize you for your career choices for your
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  partner choices of course we all we all know that we all see that and you just
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  simply say that is not a topic of discussion i love you mom i love you dad but
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  that is not something we're going to be talking about.
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  That is a healthy boundary that I set.
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  But boundaries don't always have to be set only in relationships.
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  We can set a boundary saying that I have an alcohol problem or I don't have
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  a good way of managing alcohol in my life responsibly.
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  Therefore, the boundary that I'm going to set is I'm not going to drink any alcohol.
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  It is setting a limit. It is making a very,
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  decisive choice it's a boundary that you set
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  but you get to decide it you get to be the one in control when that option and
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  opportunity comes up because you're out with your friends and everybody wants
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  to go drinking nope i've already set the boundary i'm not going to drink done
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  easy no more choices no more difficulties no more well all the difficulties that we deal with.
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  When you're new to this, when you're new to this, I usually recommend starting with something small.
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  So, for example, many times in relationships with parents, it's actually a really
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  good conversation in the first 45 minutes.
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  After 45 minutes, many times, things start going a little bit sour.
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  Parents start bringing in their advice and that might really set you off.
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  And of course, I'm just giving examples here. so one option
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  is to set a timer for just 45 minutes and
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  after 45 minutes you let your parent know hey i gotta go i
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  got a bunch of other things to do today was so nice catching up what a great
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  time and it's same thing with alcohol for example you probably don't have a
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  lot of problems with alcohol so you can always say i'm gonna set my limit i'm
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  gonna set the boundary at two drinks I can have two drinks right off the bat,
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  two shots, or I can order a drink,
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  milk it for the entire evening, and then order another one at the end. That's a boundary.
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  And of course, how much you follow these boundaries that you set is what's going
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  to give you that confidence and that stability that really we thrive from by
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  creating these kind of boundaries.
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  Sometimes you think that no boundaries are boring and dull and they're they're
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  not fun to adhere to but actually i will disagree having healthy boundaries
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  gives you so much stability it gives you so many other positive things in return
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  that over time when you do it you start realizing how,
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  how much more predictable and but also fun and relaxing life can be because
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  you have set these kind of boundaries.
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  Try it with something small. One boundary that we create with many of my health
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  coaching clients is things like eating windows.
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  So, for example, I am not going to eat after 8 p.m.
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  That is a great boundary to set, and you get to set it.
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  No matter what, I will not eat after 8 p.m.
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  Now, can you break a boundary from time to time? Of course, of course.
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  Any kind of habit that we learn and we develop, it's very healthy to allow yourself
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  some error bars, right? Some mistakes.
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  But the problem would be if you miss that window many, many times in a row,
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  unfortunately, then that habit won't stick.
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  The effects of that boundary that you set won't be positive.
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  And yeah, over time, you might even lose confidence in yourself.
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  So maybe do an analysis of your life and see where are you having some difficulties,
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  maybe going to bed at a certain time.
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  And even though you believe yourself to be a night owl, and sometimes you stay
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  up until 4am, the problem is some days then later you have to wake up at 1pm
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  and it throws everything off.
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  So instead of going to bed at 4am, maybe your boundary is I am never allowed
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  to go to bed later than 2am.
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  And even if I do, I set a boundary that I will never wake up past 11 a.m. or noon.
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  All of these are healthy boundaries. And yes, in the beginning,
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  it's a bit difficult to follow these.
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  But over time, they create stability, predictability, and they give you results
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  that you can actually enjoy long term.
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  So I hope this is of value to you guys. Send me an email, hello at drashori.com,
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  if you want to give me some topic suggestions. and in the description check
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  out my website information and thank you for listening.