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Appearance Altering Trauma- Don't Ride The Scooters · Millennial Mental Health Channel

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Hello MMHC listeners, and welcome back. Today. We have a very special
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topic, a topic called appearance altering trauma. We decided to do an episode
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on this because I now have two friends who have had very traumatic scooter accidents
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with serious injuries fracture, jaws, broken and missing teeth, broken wrists.
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Many of the injuries required surgery, complex dental and orthodonic work, and recovery
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times that can take over a year. In speaking with my friends about their
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accidents, they've told me that the psychological aspect was even harder than the physical
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pain, and the pain was terrible. One of these friends even requested that
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we do an episode on appearance altering trauma, and I thought it was a
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great idea. And actually he is our guest for today. So Kyle Michael
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went to the University of Wyoming with me. Actually he works as an EA
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at the University of Colorado and shoots medical campus. He is a vicious Rocket
1:06
League player and he also volunteers at the zoo, which he says is as
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cool as you think it is. So before we jump into the episode,
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we want to give you some stats and facts. This is mostly from sorrowar
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at all from twenty twenty two entitled The Psychological Burden of Visible Disfigurement Following Traumatic
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Injury. Eight percent of global deaths were from accidents or violence, and these
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are tended to be lumped together. Three million Americans have non fatal accidents every
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year. That's about one percent of the population. Advances in trauma medicine mean
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that more people are surviving trauma, but many of them have significant changes to
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their lives and appearances. If you've been through a traumatic event and are now
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having flashbacks, nightmares, fear that something bad's going to happen, a hyper
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startle response, that may be signs that you have PTSD, especially if these
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things have been going on on for longer than a month. Rates of depression
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and social anxiety also go up after appearance altering trauma. So interesting findings in
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some of the data that we looked at is that people with disfigurement are often
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viewed as less attractive. If you are perceived as less attractive, you're also
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perceived to be less intelligent. This is a subconscious way that the human brain
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is wired. People aren't doing it on purpose. Studies also show that body
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image is important for your self esteem and confidence. And sometimes that can be
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really changed in people who have been through bad trauma. So, without further
2:37
ado, here's our conversation with my friend Kyle Michael. This is Millennial Mental
2:44
Health Channel. I'm doctor Justin Romano, a Child and Adolescent psychiatry fellow,
2:47
and I'm medi Curio, a licensed clinical therapist. Our podcast is here because
2:52
we wanted to start a much data conversation about mental health. Our goal is
2:55
to teach you as much as we can by sharing our own experiences and inner
3:00
reviewing experts in the mental health field. We will discuss topics like mood disorders,
3:04
psychotic disorders, substance use, personality disorders, and many more. Millennial
3:07
Mental Health Channel buy Millennials for everyone. We hope you enjoyed today's episode.
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M MHC is a production of Spreaker from iHeartMedia. I Well, Kyle,
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old friend. It's nice to have you on the show. Nice to see
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you man doing well, and unfortunately it sounds like you haven't been doing so
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well. Yeah, got an accident probably about two weeks three weeks ago on
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a scooter, so it's been kind of tough. But you know, things
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are on the rise, so hasn't been that's been too bad. It gets
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better every day, So good walk us through the accident, take take us
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through what happened. I live in Denver. My friends were in town for
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a concert that weekend. It was a Thursday. Zach Bryan was in town,
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big concert, so they got an airbnb kind of on the outskirts of
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downtown. We went out, We went out for dinner. We said we'd
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go back to his place for a little while. Popped on some scooters at
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this point. It was pretty dark out at night, and on our way
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back, I was riding in the middle of the street and I thought to
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myself, I would probably be a good idea to pop up on a sidewalk.
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So I was looking at the sidewalk while I was on the street and
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wasn't paying attention. For about three or four seconds, a big old piece
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of concrete was missing out of the street. Front wheel dug in and I
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remember going over the handlebars and honestly, that is about it. Broke my
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hand, I broke my nose, I broke my jaw, I broke my
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forefront teeth, had a concussion. You know. It was pretty bad at
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first. Luckily, though, I was with my good friends they were able
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to take care of me, kind of helped me. I don't honestly remember
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too much of the situation afterwards, but I was probably going about twenty I
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don't know how fast those things get, about twenty miles an hour, So
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it was it was a pretty good It was a pretty good fall. As
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someone who works in the emergency room, how was your hospital experience? Was
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it surreal? It was? Uh, you know, I I've worked in
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the emergency department for about two years now, and I'll be honest, I've
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seen people come in with footer accidents, you know, some broken hand,
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some much worse. Unfortunately, I did go to the emergency department that I
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work at. Luckily. Yeah, that's like one thing. People are always
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like, I'm never going to go into my hospital and always said that too.
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I was like, no, I'm going to go somewhere else. Man,
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I can't let people see me. But I did. I Fortunately,
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you know, I've grown pretty close to some of the people there. I
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was able to call him beforehand explain the situations that hey, guys, you
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know, I got injured. I don't want you guys to, you know,
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freak out, because it does look pretty bad and they were able to
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put me in a room right away. The provider that did take care of
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me, him and I have grown to be pretty close, so I texted
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him beforehand kind of what was going on, so they were kind of able
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to have a little heads up on a situation. The nurses that took care
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of me the text took care of me I was also pretty good friends with.
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So the hospital situation, it would have been a lot more difficult had
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I'm not really known the procedures. It's kind of how it goes. Luckily,
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since I do work there, Like I said, it was a little
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bit more comforting for me knowing the providers, the nurses, the text.
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I had multiple teams come down, surgery teams, everything like that, you
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know, to make sure I was looking good and kind of just get the
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ball rolling on my prognosis and kind of just go from there to start off.
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So it was like the initial like ah shit, I gotta go to
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work to do with this, but like, ultimately it sounds like it was
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it was helpful. I mean, you were able to kind of like you
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got like initial comfort of like you know that people already they're ready to help
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you out and kind of move through that like awkward, like oh shit,
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hey guys. But like now it feels like it worked out ultimately with being
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able to work with people you knew at first. I mean, it was
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awkward. Anytime you walk in and you see that much trauma on someone you
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know or just a random person, it kind of takes me back a little
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bit. You know. Luckily, my main concern going in once I kind
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of started to realize and come to the situation, was do I have a
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brain bleed? Luckily they took me to CT right away. Didn't have a
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brain bleed. It was It was nice because you know, the provider came
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in, Like I said, him and I are really good friends, and
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right up the bat you knew each other and I was able to crack a
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joke after that, you know, lighten the mood up real good. Yeah,
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but it was scary. It's a scary situation anytime you go through that.
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Your family, your friends are calling, e, the're texting you.
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The comfort that I get at the emergency department they took great care of me,
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So I was fortunate, you know, to have really good care throughout
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this whole process so far. And you did send me a picture of what
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you looked like after your accident, and it was gruesome. Man, It's
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it's a hard picture to see. Yeah, knocking out more forefront teeth,
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my nose was completely broken, my arm, It's it's tough to look at.
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Initially, I warned my roommate right off the bat, I said,
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hey, man, you know, this is what happened. And he was
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able to help me out. He looked at me and he's like, oh,
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man, like you definitely need to go in the initial shock that you
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see, you know, your identity, your identities now it's different. You
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know, you're so used to your smile, you're so used to you know,
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I broke my glasses. I had my glasses forever. Just everything about
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my face in that initial moment was different, and I felt like my identity
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was going to change. After that initial accident, I walked into the er
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and the people, like I saw their reactions and you know, they were
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pretty shocked. So that was tough at first for sure. I think the
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thing too with like trauma is that like I'm trying to think of the right
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way to say it, but like some people will like be like, oh,
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like this is not a huge deal. It is what it is.
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But like the important thing that we have to remember is like if if someone
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feels like this was traumatic for them, then it was traumatic. Like there's
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no other like there's nothing else to say, you know. I'm thinking of
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like you know, you know, describing some of your injuries, and I
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think of like professional athletes or like people that boxers that like end up with
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kind of similar things happening like to their face, and people are like,
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oh, it is what it is. But like when someone is like,
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no, this is this is traumatic and it impacted the way that I like
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looked at myself for being able to just my way of being changed for a
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little bit, Like that's that's tough, and I think a lot of people
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wouldn't. We don't always consider what other people's like thoughts and feelings are about
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something. You know, we we make our own assumptions. But everyone's trauma
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is different. A sudden, like a gew physical appearance of like altering trauma.
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It's really difficult. I've been through some other types of surgeries, like
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with my knees that you know it never really had that you know, the
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appearance altering trauma, but this one was a lot different. With my chief.
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I've had patients in the past, you know, not getting into too
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much detail. She had a missing arm, and I was in a room
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and we were kind of just you know, talking back and forth, and
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I did eventually ask her. I said, you know, what's been the
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most difficult part about losing your arm? And she told me the first time
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that she looked in the mirror in that initial shot, realizing that her life
10:01
was going to be different going forward. She asked herself, will my daughter
10:05
be embarrassed to show her friends myself? Like, he was really worried about
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her friends and how they were going to perceive her, especially her family.
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She was really worried about her daughter. You know, her husband, if
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he's going to be ashamed or embarrassed at you know, his wife has one
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arm. It was really sad. It was a sad moment. And that
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was a while ago, and that one really stuck out to me, especially
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after this incident. Everyone goes through their own battles, but you know,
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this altering trauma could be really difficult on some people. Yeah, yeah,
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that's the part as people don't think about that's Yeah, what's your recovery process
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look like? So my recovery process. So I broke my hand, my
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nose, my mouth, my jaw, pretty pretty big drauma. I've already
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had surgery on my hand. As you can see, I have some pin
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sticking out my nose. I've went in for an appointment. I go back
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and follow up in two months to see if I do need surgery on my
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nose. Luckily, I know it's kind of hard to see, but after
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the initial after the initial injury, kind of like about a few two weeks
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after, my nose actually kind of came back to shape. It's not too
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bad my mouth, so I've already seen like multiple specialists for it. Another
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reason I was lucky, I asked one of the physicians at the emergency department
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if he could hook me up with the Colorado Avalanche dentist because we work with
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the Avalanche. And I was like, well, if anyone's going to know
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how to handle this trauma, it's probably gonna be him. So I went
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over there, and luckily it seems like he knows. You know, he's
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a pretty smart dude and pretty good guy. I like him a lot,
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and so I think it's about a four month recovery. With the teeth,
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I have fake teeth in right now. It's about I think we said forty
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five months for me to get implants for my teeth. So far, the
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hand's been pretty difficult too. I think a lot of people forget, you
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know, anytime you injure your hand, your leg, your everyday tasks,
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it's difficult to accomplish shows, and that can also take a toll on someone.
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You know, even going to the grocery store. You know, I
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can't look up any bags. It's hard for me to get groceries. I
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have difficulties driving, you know, just everyday tasks kind of you get bogged
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down. And it's also pretty difficult to handle sometimes for some people. We
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take a lot of that shit for granted, and not to like compare one
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thing to another, but I guess like one thing that came to mind right
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away is like, and this is like trivial and more of like a funny
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thing, but like anytime I get like a stuff he knows, I'm like,
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damn, it took for granted all the times it didn't have a stuff
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he knows, and now this like really sucked. But like on a bigger
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level, like it's like, yeah, like I everything is so natural for
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using in my hands and like walking and all these things that I don't think
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twice of doing it, and even right now, like you guys can't see,
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but I'm like moving my fucking hands around and I'm not thinking about it.
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We take that stuff for granted until it's taken away. That's wild in
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the aftermath. I think about a week after your accident and we were texting
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back and forth and talking about it, and you mentioned that the mental aspect
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was a lot harder than the physical aspect. We've talked a little bit about
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it, but yeah, elaborate. Give me your thoughts, like why is
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it so hard emotionally mentally? So first seeing emotional wise, it's your friends,
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your family, they're all worried about it. You kind of go through
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the situation with them, explain what happened. You explain it so many times,
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you know, and it's it's a difficult thing to talk about. You
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know, no one likes talking about how they got injured or with my teeth
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especially, I have a pretty big speech impediment right now, and it could
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make me feel somewhat inadequate, you know, less intelligent. I hate to
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say it, but the way I talk I really have to think about my
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words so people can understand me. It can be difficult to go out people
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stare, especially when I didn't have my teeth. I couldn't go anywhere without
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people asking, you know, what's going on, what happened? You wake
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up every morning you realize you don't have your teeth, which for me was
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like a part of my identity. And going forward, it's hard not to
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think about the future and how it's going to affect you. You know,
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I'll get implants and hopefully, you know, they look somewhat similar my hand
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will heal. But like you go through every single day and you have so
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many limitations, or you have just the feeling of losing your teeth, losing
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something that you really, you know, cared about, took pride in,
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it's pretty difficult. It kind of lingers on your mind. Again. Stuff
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people take for granted. I've heard similar things from clients and patients who have
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lost like teeth or other like physical like facial changes for one reason or another,
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and like, yeah, the stuff we just take for granted. I
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mean, I think we just get so used to like day to day,
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you wake up, whatever, you go in the bathroom, do your thing,
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you see yourself in the mirror and it's just the same person looking back
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at you every time. And we don't think about like what what happens tomorrow,
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you know, the next week if something does change, like what is
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that gonna how's that going to impact us? Similarly, and hopefully it's not
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too personal of a question, but like what have your your thoughts and feelings
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been, like about like your appearance after the accident? What does anything change?
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What's that process been. I try not to let it affect me too
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much, you know. I go about my everyday tasks because I've realized,
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at least for myself, once I start getting down on myself and stop doing
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my task, and you know, even like simple task every single day,
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it does take a mental toll on me. So I try to get out
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Still. I go about things as if it never happened. I'll admit,
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brushing your teeth in the morning is tough when you're missing your forefront teeth.
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It's just it's a psychological, you know, impact on yourself and it's really
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hard to get over. Especially it's like, you know, it's been about
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it's been about twenty days now, and it's it gets better every single day.
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But you know, my new glasses, my new teeth, my broken
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nose. It it's difficult. I try not to like let it affect me.
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Every single day. I go about my task just like I were beforehand.
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But every single time you pass through a mirror, every single time I
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talk, I hear this list that I have now that I'm not used to
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that I'm trying to adjust to. It is difficult. It it's taking some
16:00
adjustments to get used to. But I know as time goes on, hopefully
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it'll get easier for myself. I also just want to highlight it takes a
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lot of bravery to come on and talk about these things, especially when it
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just happened three weeks ago and you're not talking quite the same, you don't
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look quite the same. So yeah, I think it's so cool that you
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wanted to come on and tell your story. You know, there's a little
16:25
mini round of applause for Kyle. Yah know, I appreciate that. You
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know, we talked about it a little bit in those text messages and then
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it you know, it's brought me back to certain patients. I have the
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one, you know, especially who lost her arm. But you know,
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I've seen other patients come in with you know, car accidents and trauma that
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they're gonna have to deal with for a long time. I've seen patients unfortunately
16:45
coming to the burns you know, all over their hands, legs, spaces,
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you know that aren't going to go away. And it's they're going to
16:52
have to get used to a different type of life. It's they're gonna have
16:56
to adjust to, you know, some limitations that they have, either physically
17:00
or you know, it's difficult a sudden change of like altering trauma that can
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that can happen to someone, it can be tough on them. So you're
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still the same person that you were before, and it's hard for some people.
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I think I first kind of realized that. But your identity is not
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gone. You still are who you were. You're still the same human that
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you were before. You just have some difficulties that you kind of have to
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go through for a little while to kind of get back to really who you
17:26
felt you were beforehand. Some trials and some tribulations. Yes, you mentioned
17:33
that, everyone asks, like you're in a cast, You're you're pretty beat
17:37
up. Is that good thing? Bad thing? Because like it can be
17:42
a way to process what happened and tell the story. But it also would
17:45
suck to be asked everywhere you go. I'd probably get asked probably like five
17:49
or six times a day, you know what happened. And it's like I'll
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go to the grocery store, someone will ask. I'll go to the restaurant,
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someone will ask. I'll have little kids up to me on your hand
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or you know, or like when I didn't have teeth, they're like,
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you don't have teeth. I try to turn it into a teaching moment.
18:07
You know, if you're going to ride these scooters. I realize they're fun.
18:11
I've written them plenty of times. I probably won't ever ride one again.
18:15
Actually I won't ride one again. They're scary and a lot of people
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ride them recklessly. It's really really easy to have a serious injury on one
18:23
of those scooters. So when I have kids come up to me because I
18:27
do, I'll say, hey, guys, I'm a scooter accident, and
18:30
like I'll show them that I don't have any teeth, and I'm like,
18:33
at least for a helmet. You know, be safe when you're on these
18:36
things. You know, go have fun, But at the same time,
18:38
you never think it's going to happen to you. I think I'm a pretty
18:41
good snowboarder. I've written longboards skateboards my whole life, So whenever I hop
18:45
on one of these things, I was like, I'm never gonna get hurt
18:48
one of these, even though I saw it all the time in the er
18:49
and I did so as opposed to you know, dwelling on it whenever someone
18:55
tries to ask, kind of try to tea turn it into a teaching moment
18:59
and let them know, you know, if you're going to do it,
19:00
at least be safe. We're a helmet. Don't be so reckless on them.
19:04
They do really just put them out there, like with not a whole
19:08
lot of warm I don't know, Like I'm trying to think the last time
19:11
I used one of those, and like I probably like click through a couple
19:15
like yeah, except except but like, other than that, there's not a
19:18
whole lot of other protections, Like they don't come with helmets, they don't
19:22
like they're just there and you use it like I Yeah, that's probably not
19:29
a great thing to have around anyway. Now there's so many of them down
19:32
to Denver, there's so many of them. Yeah, you know, especially
19:34
downtown, you're just cruising on them. I've seen people double up on them.
19:40
The other day, I saw two dads with their kids on them,
19:41
and the two little kids were in front of them, and they're going as
19:45
fast as they could. Yeah, they kind of want to tell them,
19:48
like, hey, guys, like that's definitely not safe, Like yeah,
19:51
but no, it's uh, it's an issue for sure, But if you're
19:55
gonna do it, I just asked you'd be safe about it, don't be
19:57
so reckless. But as for myself, it's it'll be hard to get on
20:02
one of those. Every single time I see someone right down the street,
20:03
it's pretty brings back some toughness. It makes you cringe a little bit.
20:08
It's like, oh no, don't do that. Yeah yeah, yeah,
20:11
no, I'm like, I don't write that, but it's yeah, it'd
20:15
be pretty tough. Well, other than recommending people don't ever use those scooters,
20:21
any other words of wisdom or advice you would give people, or maybe
20:26
something you would tell other people who've been through similar trauma. As for myself,
20:30
I'm two three weeks in, so I'm still kind of learning how to
20:32
deal with it. You know. Luckily, I've had really good friends who
20:36
back me up. You know, people ask who I'm doing every day,
20:38
which I enjoy. People let me know that they're thinking about me, And
20:44
honestly, could have been a lot worse. I look at myself and it's
20:47
like, you know, it's tough to get over these physical altering limitations.
20:52
But at the same time, you know, I could have had a brain
20:55
bleed, could have broken my neck. In the grand scheme of things,
20:59
what happen been is awful. But I'm just still glad that I'm being able
21:03
to hang out with my friends and my family the same way that it was
21:07
beforehand. Because some people aren't. Some people aren't lucky like I am.
21:11
You know, some people unfortunately, you know, we all share bound some
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it could have been fatal. So I'm glad. I'm glad it did turn
21:21
out the way it did ultimately for myself. Well, we appreciate you coming
21:25
to share your story more appreciation. I think that's the most important part.
21:27
I think it's it's tough to like have this kind of battle every day of
21:33
dealing with you know, what's going on, but to kind of feel open
21:37
to come sharing it with us and share it with our listeners. I think
21:40
we appreciate that a ton. So we're all about normalizing and helping people know
21:45
that they're not by themselves. So I'm hopeful that at least one person here
21:48
in the episode will know they're not alone. So we appreciate that a time.
21:52
Yeah. No, I appreciate you guys, you know, for having
21:55
me on and spreading the word, and I just want to thank you guys,
21:57
you know, for what you do. You guys are great models people.
22:02
I know you guys have at least help me out. So if that
22:03
takes so listen, anything, you guys have at least helped that one person.
22:06
So I think that going for So I appreciate you guys, And no,
22:11
kids, be careful on the scooters, don't write them. But no,
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I just want to thank all my friends, family, stuff like that.
22:18
They've been so supportive. I've been really lucky. I can ask for
22:22
a better group of people to be behind me on this. And if there's
22:26
one thing I know about you, Kyle's that you got a network. Man,
22:29
You've got so many friends and so many people, so many bros in
22:33
your life that are there to support you. And I'm I'm so glad that
22:36
you have that that's such a powerful thing, and I'm lucky that you're one
22:38
of them. Man, I appreciate it absolutely. Thank you so much for
22:44
coming on the show. We appreciate you, man. Yeah, thank you,
22:45
guys, and we actually have one more treat for you for the end
22:53
of this episode. I know a lot of people in this world are trying
22:59
to find something that they feel like they were made for, something that gives
23:03
them a sense of purpose, something that makes them feel like they belong.
23:07
I think this is really captured by the song that's come out within the last
23:11
year Billie Eilish. Is something I made for. And in a way,
23:18
I really know Kyle well and I know he's going to listen to this,
23:22
and I hope you understand that. I think you're a pretty amazing young man,
23:27
and I think you've got a lot of big important things in your life
23:32
waiting for you. And I think you're going to find something that you were
23:34
really made for, my friend, So this sense for you, Kyle,
23:41
I used to flow, never just fall down. Now. I used to
23:49
know, but I'm not sure now what I was made for. What was
24:02
I made for? Take in and drive? I was an idea, looks
24:15
so loved it turns out not real, just something you paid for. What
24:27
was some made for sad? I don't know how feeling, but I want
24:48
to truck. No, I don't know how feels Someday, my Sunday,
25:06
I just my warded it an all the enjoyment. I'm saying again, don't
25:19
tell my boy friend it's not what he's made for. Well, I'm made
25:30
for say say, I don't know how feel without uture. No, I
25:55
don't know how feel. Some day I'm my someday that's just my think.
26:11
I forgot how to be happy something and I'm not something I can and be
26:25
something. I wait for, something I'm made for, something I'm made for.
26:52
Oh, and take care of all mentals.