Latest / Get It Got It Girl: Midlife Rebuild / What Would You Do If Fear Wasn’t An Option

Transcript

What Would You Do If Fear Wasn’t An Option · Get It Got It Girl: Midlife Rebuild

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome, welcome, welcome.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to start a new series.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: If you are a new listener, this is a great place to start.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: And don't forget to check out my other episodes.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: If you are returning to my podcast, welcome back, my bold pathfinders, where we're going to find our right path and where we're headed.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so before we start this, I'm going to kill the music.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you like this music.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like it's uppy and upbeat and feels like it makes you feel like you're good and ready for action.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: So this is episode six, and it's the start of a new series, Let's Dare to Reinvent Yourself.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: What are you hiding behind?
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: Are you hiding behind fear?
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: And what is hiding behind that fear?
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: What is something that keeps whispering you to you?
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: Like, do you hear a voice in your head that says, start a podcast, start a cooking show, change jobs, move where you're from, move back to where you're from.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: What is tugging at your heart and your mind that keeps trying to get your attention and you keep ignoring it?
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're ignoring it because you're a little bit afraid.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: You don't know like what does that look like?
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: And your fear is also maybe it'll make you uncomfortable because you're used to being in the pattern that you're in right now.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's easier to just stay the same and just settle or go on through life with the same pattern because it's sometimes can be some work to invest in yourself, but you are worth it.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: Are you going to listen to your calling or your dreams?
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: What are you doing?
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: What's stopping you?
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: If it's fear, let's look below the fear and see how we can get past that.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: Let's dare to reinvent yourself.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll be continuing to do the same because that's how it started.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm only getting started.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: Let's push past some of your fears and uncover your true desires.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted to ask you a question.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm sure you've been asked this before, and I know I have too.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: What if fear wasn't an option?
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: Or what if money wasn't an option?
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: But back to what is fear?
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: What would you do if it wasn't an option?
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: What is the deepest desire that's in your heart that you keep telling yourself over and over that you want to do?
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like I mentioned, maybe it's to start a new career.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's to go back to school.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you need to learn something about what you dream about doing and you need to research it.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: So, again, for me, I use a notebook.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna suggest either you use a notebook or maybe you can do meditation.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: Some of you may be new to that, and some of you may be doing that as well already.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: You can journal if you like.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: I know when I journal, I can never find my journals, or I'll look at it.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: And like a month ago, I might have journaled and then I won't journal for a couple weeks.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: I tend to write my stuff down in notebooks, which will be a whole nother podcast for me.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: Now, what I want you to do is just think about one thing.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: What happens when you push past your fear?
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, you follow what's waiting underneath.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like for me, I just started with baby steps.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, it took two years to push that podcast button, but I did it.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: Was I ready?
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: My story was ready to get out there.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: Was I completed my story?
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: No, and that's what kept me hooked up.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, who am I to tell other people or try to help people who are going through abusive patterns or toxic patterns or switching their career or looking at their family dynamics?
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like, who am I?
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: I am just Tina Avis.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: Once I was, you know, able to get past that, and the calling just kept coming back and forth, like it just would not leave me alone.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: At first, with the toxic relationship, like I need to get out, I need to get out.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: As some of you may know, I did get out about 10 months ago.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: I shared that experience with you, and that was the first pattern of toxicity that I broke.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: And then a few months after that, I quit a soul-sucking career.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: But I would suggest that you could even take some baby steps.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: Come up with a roadmap.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you could come up with like just break it down into pieces.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's a podcast idea, or maybe you want to do a cooking class or a craft that you love doing, or a place that's calling your name, whatever it is, you even starting with researching, getting a book, watch videos.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: There are so many videos.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: That is definitely how I learned to start with my podcasting.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: I had no idea.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: I still don't know how to edit, so I quick, quick see, no idea how to edit.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: So I have to pause the button for now until I learn that.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: I've been looking at it, but it's difficult for me.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: I may have to outsource it.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: When I started learning, it was just that's okay.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: There, it's okay to be a learner.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: We can't automatically know how to do something.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like that would just be silly.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: We all learn our skills, or some of us do have talents, and we learn what our talents are.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we get to use them, sometimes we're afraid of them.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: My episode six is gonna help you with brainstorming.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to think of possibility.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: There we go.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: I gotta, I can't, I don't want to start over.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know how to take it out, but that's okay.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna move on.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: You can see that I am raw.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: I am not fake, I'm authentic, I will leave the mistakes in there, and I am definitely not perfect.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: I can tell you it is fun to follow your heart, your dreams, your calling.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, it's scary, but once you get past that, it is fun.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: And last night I was just thinking, oh, I'm doing a podcast.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: And then it dawned on me.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: I am a podcaster.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: I am what I wanted to be.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: I am doing it.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I did want to just put out that I am not a licensed therapist, I'm using my life experiences.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: I had a 660 six-month course on life coaching.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: I also have um 84 credits towards my bachelor's degree in social work.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: I am currently waiting to earn more money to go back and return.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: But what's all behind this is fear.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: Fear is a normal reaction.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's human to be afraid.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: But what if fear is the barrier?
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: What if it's a test?
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: What could be on the other side of fear?
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: And that's something that helped.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: What if everything you ever wanted was on the other side of fear?
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: I believe that we all tell ourselves what I call limiting beliefs, which is what you tell yourself.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: You think, what if I fail?
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: Well, what if you're one step or one step closer to knowing?
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what I did a lot because I would start and fail, and I'm like, okay, so I know this doesn't work.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, that's good.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: I know this works.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: That's progress, not perfection, which is something that is embedded in my mind.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe some thoughts go through your head, like, I'm not qualified.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: That's one of my thoughts.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: But if you have life experience, you're qualified.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: And you can get qualified.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: I was gonna be quiet.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: I was just gonna have this dream forever.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: And then I thought, oh my gosh, I'm 50.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: I'm too old to have a new dream.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: But then I thought, wait a minute.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: I know I shared that I listened to uh audiobook and it was Women Who Spark After 50.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I did include her book in, I think it was my third episode I had mentioned her.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: Listening to her book changed my mind.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: I was sitting there, I was 52, doing the job I hate, just miserable.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I thought, well, this is it.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: I'm too old, I missed my chance.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: And then she had said, Well, if you're 50, you could still live 20, 30, 40, 50 years.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: You don't know.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: And then I thought, oh, I still have time.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: And that was a big fear of mine.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: So I've shared some of my fears with you, and I hope this helps you to relate.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll mention some other limiting beliefs and fears that came up for me, and maybe I thought, maybe some other people have some other unlimiting fears and beliefs.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: So I do want you, before I share that, to ask yourself, where does your fear come from?
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: Is it past failures?
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: Because failures are actually lessons.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: You actually learn what works and what doesn't.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: Family beliefs that are passed down.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: Well, maybe those are old and maybe that worked for that generation, and now it's time to change yours.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe a well-meaning friend or family member member gave you some advice and told you something, but you have your own thoughts about it and didn't agree.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: Take what you can get, not take what you can get, but take what you learn from people, use what you can learn from them, and the rest just wasn't meant for you, and that's okay.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: They're most of the time just trying to share and help you.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: Ultimately, you are stuck with you, like you inside, you at night, you when these callings come to you.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes sharing them, maybe you don't have to, and you can, but it's up to you.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: But right now, I want to cover some of the limiting beliefs because that's on the emotional intelligence scale.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: And these are some of the tools I want to help people with, and actually reframing the way I thought, and when those limiting beliefs come in my mind, like what's the opposite side?
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: What's the positive side?
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: What's the truth?
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so I wrote some of them down.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: And the first one was, what if I fail?
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: That was so played over and over in my head.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what if I fail?
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: Well, what if I don't?
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: And then what if I rise?
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: And what if I get everything I wanted to do?
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: What if I'm fulfilled?
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: What if I help people?
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: What if I could make a difference in somebody's life, somebody who's struggling?
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I thought, well, wait, I gotta be fixed all the way.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: I gotta be out having the perfect job, the perfect life.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not ready to tell somebody how to do this.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: I'm still in the messy middle.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: And then it dawned on me.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: Some people are probably still in the messy middle, and they too are looking for answers.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: Another one of my limiting beliefs has been I don't know how.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not tech savvy, I'm not computer savvy, I am just not a technical person.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: And like my positive belief for that was I'm allowed to learn and research.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: There is so much information out there.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: I looked at the people that I look up to and I learned some of their tactics and what they do, and it can be done by me.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: I can learn how.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sure they didn't know how at first.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: And then that other thing, like I'm not healed, I'm not to the better form.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: And then I was like, okay, okay, most people aren't.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: What can I do to help other people?
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I still can be an inspiration, or they can use me as a tool to help them get out of maybe a rough, tough spot.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: Not everything is perfect, and you don't start from like perfection.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: And then I just want to go over two more.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_00: Bear with me.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: And you can look up online like what are some of your limiting beliefs, or just look that up in general, and it will tell you how to reframe it into positive beliefs.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: And it is about how you talk to yourself, self-talk, what you tell yourself, and that's okay.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: You can relearn how to talk to yourself, like reprogram yourself.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: Another limiting belief was I didn't want to be judged.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: Well, either way, I feel like you get judged.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: So I decided I was going to choose choose my truth and not for approval.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: And that goes back to my tattoo: know your own truth.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what is your truth?
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: And then it was scared, and this kind of goes with the judgment.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: Somebody I know will hear me, somebody I know will hear the truth in the story.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: And then I thought, well, if I can't even tell people I know, then that's you know, with me, I just decided that I didn't care about that.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: That is not my purpose.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: My purpose is to help other people break toxic behaviors and live their life more to what their truth is and not be stopped by fear.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: And if you feel fear, that's okay.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's normal, and to push past that fear.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: That is my purpose.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: And my purpose was to find something that I enjoy doing, and I realize that I have spent five, six years, I've gone to conferences, I follow self-growth, I follow self-personal improvement, I do that.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: I'm now working on some shadow work.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: Like this is something I've been doing for five years and not realizing that, oh, wait, maybe this could be the thing that I do.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I know some of you are probably afraid, and I can understand wanting to have something on the side, like maybe a fallback or a plan B, and that's okay.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like you don't have to just quit your job or quit your relationship right away.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you can come up with a plan, an exit strategy.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I really hope that this helped you or somebody out there and share this and please follow me.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: And then I would just want to say that you're the author of your next chapter.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody else is the author.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I have a couple action plans for you this week, action calls to do.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like, reflect on your past, good or bad.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_00: What has served you well and what didn't?
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: That way you can kind of see like what's working for you and what's not.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: You can rewrite your journal, like just rewrite.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: I've written pages and pages of what I want to do, just let it go.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_00: Wrote it like nobody was else, nobody else would see it.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're afraid that somebody else is going to see it, you can rip it up.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: And one more thing, and I know I asked people to erase something that was negative in their life in the last episodes and series.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna say today or this week, because I will re release these every week on Monday or Tuesday, preferably Mondays.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: But in this next week, I'm encouraging you just to take a small jump.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: Research your calling.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: There's plenty of books and videos, and just take one small action towards what you want in your life.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: Now we have learned about fear, but it's your story.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_00: You're the editor, you're the author.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_00: If you feel comfortable, you can share your experiences on my website, or better yet, you can email me at getitgotgirl at gmail.com.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_00: I can put your story on the air, or I can just look at your story, and that's a place where you could be able to get it out in the future.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_00: I will have a place where people can write their stories.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_00: I'm still working on more of my social media.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm working on YouTube and my Instagram.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: I do have both.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: My YouTube is getitgotitgirl.com.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_00: My podcasts are not on there yet.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: I am still learning how to do that.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's just showing you more things like you can learn, and sometimes it takes time, and that's okay.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: And then my other thought was I might have to outsource that, and that's okay too.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_00: That will actually give me more time to work on what I really want to work on.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: I really can't wait to get like some worksheets ready and just go all in, all in as a transformational coach.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I've stopped focusing on other things at this time, and I'm really throwing myself all in.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time, I just want to say one thing and close out with this.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need permission.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: You are the permission.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_00: You give yourself permission until next week.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_00: I am your host, Tina Avis.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a transformational coach, emotional intelligence strategist, and I'm here to make everybody's life better and no pain in vain, and let's go forward and reinvent our lives.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_00: Have a great week, and I hope you tune in next week.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.