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Toxic Shame vs. Guilt: How to Protect Your Self-Worth · A Capture Deep Vibs A Positive Space For Inspiration And Embracing Of Heart

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  Speaker 1: You did badly on a test and now you feel
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  Speaker 1: bad for scoring so low in class. That's normal shame.
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  Speaker 1: You did badly on a test and now you feel
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  Speaker 1: you will never amount to anything because you are a failure.
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  Speaker 1: That's toxic shame. Dr. Jacqueline Simon-Gunn, a Manhattan-based clinical psychologist says,
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  Speaker 1: shame is not always a harmful emotion in its milder
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  Speaker 1: forms of shyness and humility, but toxic shame destroys self-esteem
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  Speaker 1: and fuels the negative emotions and depression and anxiety. Victims
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  Speaker 1: of trauma and abuse are especially susceptible to toxic shame.
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  Speaker 1: Unlike guilt, which motivates a person to change their behavior,
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  Speaker 1: toxic shame makes a person feel as though change is impossible.
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  Speaker 1: Accumulation of these feelings of toxic shame ultimately lead to
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  Speaker 1: shame-based depression, says licensed professional counselor, Rachel Eddins. Here are
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  Speaker 1: five ways you can recognize toxic shame. I'm a burden
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  Speaker 1: to those around me. Living with shame-based depression often leads
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  Speaker 1: to you avoiding relationships, Your internal critic continually judges and
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  Speaker 1: criticizes you, telling you that you are inadequate. You're worried
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  Speaker 1: you might be inconveniencing others and that others might grow
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  Speaker 1: tired of you. So you hold back from being your
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  Speaker 1: true self or asking for emotional support. Research in the
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  Speaker 1: annual review of psychology shows that shame leads people to
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  Speaker 1: hide and self-conceal. sometimes even going as far as withdrawing
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  Speaker 1: completely from the real world. You feel you aren't worthy
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  Speaker 1: of being happy and purposefully undermine your happiness because you're
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  Speaker 1: convinced you're undeserving. I must make up for things that
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  Speaker 1: are not my fault. I'm to blame for what happened.
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  Speaker 1: It's entirely my fault. Shame-based depression causes you to internalize
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  Speaker 1: everything that happens. You apologize even for things that are
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  Speaker 1: not your fault and blame yourself for things that you
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  Speaker 1: cannot control. A 2016 study published in the Journal of
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  Speaker 1: Psychology found that shame is associated with the suppression of emotions.
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  Speaker 1: You often keep your thoughts and feelings to yourself. This
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  Speaker 1: way you avoid speaking your mind in an attempt to
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  Speaker 1: keep things on course and improve the situation. You try
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  Speaker 1: to compensate for feelings of unworthiness by pleasing others and
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  Speaker 1: being exceptionally giving. These can only help temporarily and ultimately
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  Speaker 1: make matters worse. a never-ending downward spiral of despair or hopelessness.
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  Speaker 1: Struggling with shame-based depression is often accompanied with feeling worthless
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  Speaker 1: and anxious. Knowing that there's things to do and being
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  Speaker 1: unable to do them makes you feel helpless. You experience
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  Speaker 1: shame anxiety, an undermining and persistent anxiety about being judged, labeled,
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  Speaker 1: and rejected by others. Research published in the Journal of
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  Speaker 1: Clinical Psychology and Psychotherapy found that shame can be a
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  Speaker 1: contributing factor to depression, anxiety, and codependency. The ADAA reports
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  Speaker 1: that close to half of people diagnosed with depression are
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  Speaker 1: also diagnosed with anxiety. You believe in avoidance of future shame.
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  Speaker 1: Shame-based depression all but binds you from taking risks. This
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  Speaker 1: is in an attempt to defend against being devalued by others.
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  Speaker 1: According to a study in the Journal of Psychological and
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  Speaker 1: Cognitive Sciences, When struggling with shame-based depression, you keep yourself
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  Speaker 1: from making decisions that may lead to further disproval by others.
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  Speaker 1: Low self-esteem that plagues depressed individuals leads them to fear
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  Speaker 1: more rejection or failure, says counselor Margaret Wernberg. So even
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  Speaker 1: if you contemplate trying to do something, you hold back
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  Speaker 1: because you fear that you won't do it well or
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  Speaker 1: be judged negatively. But sometimes this can also lead to
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  Speaker 1: avoiding healthy risks, You only make decisions about jobs, relationships,
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  Speaker 1: and school that you feel certain will end well. Thinking,
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  Speaker 1: I'm a bad person, not I did a bad thing.
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  Speaker 1: Author Brene Brown defines guilt as understanding you messed up
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  Speaker 1: and did something wrong, but you're able to move on
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  Speaker 1: from the action and not have it become a failing
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  Speaker 1: or flaw. Shame is when you connect the action with
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  Speaker 1: who you are as an identity. We're all human and
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  Speaker 1: make mistakes. With shame-based depression, you think you're a bad
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  Speaker 1: person and incapable of getting it right, so you often quit.
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  Speaker 1: You believe you're unworthy of love, and you continue in
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  Speaker 1: that same vein because you don't believe that change or
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  Speaker 1: healing is possible. Recognizing these feelings of toxic shame can
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  Speaker 1: help be the first step in battling shame-based depression. Challenging
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  Speaker 1: them needs time and practice. Treating yourself with compassion can
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  Speaker 1: dissolve toxic shame. You don't have to go through this alone.
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  Speaker 1: Learning coping techniques with a mental health professional can help
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  Speaker 1: you take additional steps to overcome shame-based depression. I know
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  Speaker 1: from firsthand experience. If you found this video helpful, please
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  Speaker 1: give it a thumbs up and share it with your
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  Speaker 1: loved ones. We value your support and can't wait to
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  Speaker 1: bring you more informative content in the future. Take care
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  Speaker 1: and we'll see you soon.