Latest / Doing Marriage Well / Why God Invented Marriage - Week of Aug 3rd 2026

Transcript

Why God Invented Marriage - Week of Aug 3rd 2026 · Doing Marriage Well

• 0:00
  Doing Marriage Well for the Week of August 3rd, 2026 Why Did God Invent Marriage?
• 0:07
  August 3rd. Why did God invent marriage?
• 0:10
  This week I want to talk about why God created marriage. I think an understanding
• 0:15
  of what He intended helps us do marriage well.
• 0:18
  I will also look at some reasons God did not create marriage,
• 0:21
  or things we try to make marriage that are not in line with what God intended.
• 0:24
  God is clear about why He made a wife for Adam. It is not good for man to be
• 0:29
  alone, so I will create a companion for him, a perfectly suited partner.
• 0:34
  That's Genesis 2.18 in The Voice.
• 0:37
  It was not good for Adam to be alone.
• 0:40
  What makes this statement so amazing is Adam walked with God in the garden each evening.
• 0:44
  Adam knew God as we cannot, and according to God, that was not enough for him.
• 0:50
  Adam needed someone who was like he was. He needed a partner who was perfectly suited for him.
• 0:55
  When I was 23, I woke up one morning wanting to be married.
• 0:59
  I'd always assumed I would get married and I wanted that, but suddenly I felt I needed it right then.
• 1:05
  I was walking very close with the Lord at the time and had good friends, but it was not enough.
• 1:10
  Like Adam, I was lonely and it was not good.
• 1:14
  I am grateful that I felt that longing to be married. I am also grateful God
• 1:17
  allowed me to live in that place for more than a year.
• 1:20
  It made me strongly aware of my need and it helped me to avoid taking my wife for granted.
• 1:25
  It has also made it easy for me
• 1:27
  to accept after imperfections and the challenges of the two becoming one.
• 1:31
  I remain aware of how it felt to be alone and how much I wanted and needed a godly wife.
• 1:36
  No minor irritation of marriage today outweighs that need.
• 1:40
  I believe God created marriage so we would have someone with whom to share life.
• 1:44
  Sharing the good makes it better. Sharing the bad makes it less bad.
• 1:49
  It doesn't get any better than sharing life with your spouse.
• 1:52
  This is Paul, and I am striving to do marriage well every day.
• 1:56
  A note. I used the voice version for Genesis 2.18 as it is a more accurate translation
• 2:01
  of the meaning of the original than many versions.
• 2:04
  I wrote about this in I Want an Ezra Canego. There's a link in the show notes.
• 2:09
  August 4th, what your marriage says about God, for better or worse.
• 2:14
  Another reason God created marriage, or at least something seen throughout the
• 2:17
  Bible, is to help us understand His relationship with us.
• 2:21
  Isaiah, Jeremiah, and Ezekiel all describe God as the husband of Israel.
• 2:26
  In the New Testament, Jesus is called the bridegroom of the church,
• 2:30
  and the church is called the bride of Christ.
• 2:32
  And the Bible ends with the wedding supper of the Lamb.
• 2:35
  The analogy extends to sexuality. Multiple times in the Old Testament,
• 2:39
  worshiping other gods is likened to adultery.
• 2:42
  In Ephesians 5, the Apostle Paul links marriage and the sexual one-flesh union
• 2:47
  to the mystical, spiritual union between Christ and the Church,
• 2:51
  calling it a profound mystery.
• 2:53
  This analogy means a couple of things for us. First, a bad marriage is a bad witness.
• 2:59
  If marriage is supposed to show how God cares for us, a bad marriage reflects poorly on God.
• 3:05
  If folks who go to church had much better marriages than folks who do not,
• 3:08
  it would be far easier to get people to come to the Lord.
• 3:11
  Statistically, Christian marriages
• 3:13
  are better, but it's not enough of a difference for most people to see.
• 3:16
  The analogy was created to help us understand our relationship with God,
• 3:20
  but it can also help us understand how we should be with our spouse.
• 3:23
  A husband abusing his wife is like Jesus abusing us. The silent treatment is
• 3:28
  like the Holy Spirit refusing to communicate with us.
• 3:31
  Being too busy for our spouse is like being too busy for God.
• 3:34
  And sexual refusal is like refusing to worship God.
• 3:38
  Does your marriage make God look good? What should you change to improve that?
• 3:42
  This is Paul, and doing marriage well will preach.
• 3:46
  August 5th, God prioritizes marriage. Lessons from the Old and New Testament.
• 3:51
  God is very pro-marriage. I want to share a couple of verses that show this Deuteronomy 24, 5,
• 3:58
  If a man has recently married He must not be sent to war Or have any other dudes
• 4:02
  laid on him For one year he is to be free to stay at home And bring happiness
• 4:06
  to the wife he has married,
• 4:07
  That's from the New International Version This passage is part of the Old Testament
• 4:11
  law It is remarkable because it was given at a time When Israel was in near-constant war.
• 4:16
  No other duty meant that he could not be forced to work on roads or carry supplies
• 4:20
  to the army. Some rabbis said it also meant he was not to pay tax.
• 4:24
  The man was still expected to earn a living, but the entire community was called
• 4:28
  to carry a bit more so the new couple could develop a solid marriage.
• 4:32
  Some suggest bring happiness to his wife, including sex.
• 4:35
  While not found in the text, it would be logical to assume it's part of the whole.
• 4:39
  This is not a verse we consider today. If you are a church leader,
• 4:42
  may I suggest you honor the spirit of this and not ask newlyweds to serve for
• 4:46
  the first year they are married?
• 4:48
  If you have any influence with newlyweds, show them this verse and ask them
• 4:51
  to prayerfully consider what it means for them.
• 4:54
  The couple who focuses on their marriage and each other for the first year will
• 4:57
  do far better than those who do not.
• 4:59
  And now for the New Testament verse. Hold marriages in high esteem,
• 5:03
  all of you, and keep the marriage bed pure.
• 5:06
  That's Hebrews 13, 4a in the voice.
• 5:09
  The King James and New King James versions make this a statement.
• 5:13
  Marriage is honorable in all and the bed undefiled, rather than a command.
• 5:18
  We don't have to dissect the original language to know this can't be right.
• 5:22
  Marriage was not held in honor when Paul wrote the passage.
• 5:25
  This passage being a command means it requires something of us.
• 5:28
  In our own marriage, we must keep our sex life pure. We must also honor marriage in general.
• 5:34
  That doesn't mean we say nice things about it. We should protect marriages.
• 5:38
  We should pray for those who are married and do everything we can to help those
• 5:41
  around us have better marriages.
• 5:43
  The church is supposed to be a community and we are supposed to take care of
• 5:47
  each other. Caring for other people's marriages is part of that.
• 5:51
  A couple of times when Lori and I were newly married, an older man came up to
• 5:54
  me and gave me a Pentecostal handshake, meaning he passed me some money.
• 5:58
  And that was always accompanied by take your wife to dinner.
• 6:02
  When we got older, Lori and I did our part by occasionally offering free babysitting
• 6:06
  for a young couple with children.
• 6:08
  Now most Sunday evenings we
• 6:09
  take the grandkids for a few hours to give mom and dad some couple time.
• 6:13
  How could you help the marriages of those around you?
• 6:16
  Mrs. Paul, and doing marriage well goes beyond your own marriage.
• 6:21
  August 6th, Happy or Holy? God's design for marriage includes both.
• 6:26
  Today, I'm going to chew on one of my pet peeves, the idea that God didn't give
• 6:30
  us marriage to make us happy, but rather to make us holy.
• 6:33
  I've already laid the groundwork on this. Yesterday, I shared a verse about
• 6:36
  a man being free to spend his first year of marriage making his wife happy.
• 6:41
  And then there's Proverbs 18.22, which in the ESV tells us that he who finds
• 6:46
  a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.
• 6:50
  And what about Adam? He had no imperfection when God gave him Eve.
• 6:54
  A good marriage is one of the best things, possibly the best thing,
• 6:57
  we can experience this side of heaven.
• 7:00
  My wife often makes me happy. She blesses me richly. My marriage gives me meaning and direction.
• 7:06
  My wife is the greatest gift God has given me, second only to salvation.
• 7:10
  To be fair, God uses everything and everyone in our lives to make us more holy.
• 7:15
  And given how close and intimate the marriage relationship is,
• 7:18
  we should expect Him to use it more than anything else to grow us up.
• 7:22
  I just don't like the idea that my wife was given to me to whip me into shape,
• 7:26
  nor do I want it to be my job to do that for her.
• 7:29
  That said, God very much uses my wife to challenge me and help me grow.
• 7:34
  I'm a better man for having her in my life.
• 7:36
  I encourage her to be this in
• 7:37
  my life. I want her to tell me when she sees something that concerns her.
• 7:41
  I'm not asking her to be my mother, but I do want her to be my fellow disciple,
• 7:46
  learning how to live and follow Jesus better and better.
• 7:49
  I don't expect her to fix me. That's my job. I do want her input on what she
• 7:53
  thinks might need to be fixed.
• 7:55
  Finding the right balance on this can be tricky, and is a moving target,
• 7:59
  as it will change throughout your marriage.
• 8:01
  I would suggest discussing it from time to time. Do you want more input?
• 8:05
  Do you feel there is too much? What would be more helpful?
• 8:08
  This is Paul, and doing marriage well should accomplish both.
• 8:12
  August 7th. Did God make marriage for sex? The answer might surprise you.
• 8:17
  When we ask, why did God create marriage? Should what answer be for sex?
• 8:22
  Or perhaps as a place for sex.
• 8:25
  I don't think God made marriage for sex. I think he made sex for marriage.
• 8:29
  Human sex is unusual. As far as we know, only humans and a few kinds of tooth
• 8:34
  whales experience a long post-reproductive lifespan, aka menopause.
• 8:39
  Most female animals are only receptive when fertile, but women,
• 8:43
  who are fertile less than a week each month, are receptive and orgasmic all month long.
• 8:48
  In fact, it's common for women to experience a surge in sex drive shortly before
• 8:52
  menstruation, when pregnancy is impossible.
• 8:55
  As for orgasm, we don't know which female animals do, but we are sure many don't.
• 9:01
  What's more, for some animals, including cats, sex is always painful for the female.
• 9:06
  Mating while pregnant is very rare among animals, and when it happens,
• 9:10
  it results in more offspring.
• 9:12
  Some women, on the other hand, feel an increase in sex drive during part of pregnancy.
• 9:16
  God didn't give us a strong sex drive and a command to have sex in marriage
• 9:20
  just so we could make babies.
• 9:22
  In animals, sex is clearly all about reproduction.
• 9:25
  In humans, sex seems optimized for pleasure.
• 9:28
  Not just physical pleasure. Sex can also provide great mental and emotional pleasure.
• 9:33
  Beyond that, it releases chemicals and hormones that draw the parties together.
• 9:38
  Unmarried couples who have sex may develop a desire to marry or live together.
• 9:42
  For those already married, good sex is like relationship glue.
• 9:46
  Sex won't prevent a divorce, but it can smooth out rough spots,
• 9:49
  encourage working on issues, and make it easier to work on issues.
• 9:53
  Of course, we mess it up. Sin, both those we commit and those that are committed
• 9:58
  against us, can put us off sex or point us in a direction God didn't intend.
• 10:02
  Please know that if sex is not as it should be in your marriage,
• 10:05
  it can get better. If you need help, get help.
• 10:08
  Sex is one important part of marriage.
• 10:11
  This is Paul, and I think doing sex well pleases God.