Latest / The Midlife Rebel Podcast / The Truth About Rage, Menopause, and Your Nervous System - Dr Evette Rose

Transcript

The Truth About Rage, Menopause, and Your Nervous System - Dr Evette Rose · The Midlife Rebel Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Wherever you want to go, listen, I'm an open book.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_01: I even wrote a book about my life.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_01: So you can just you can fire away.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_01: I have no shame, nothing.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_01: We can just go straight into the into just the facts of life, right?
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I've got a few notes.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_03: So I thought that it would be good to kind of like get a bit of a sense of some of the terminology, you know, epigenetics, metaphysics, neuroscience, psychosomatic, blah, blah, blah, blah, all those, all of those things that you do.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and yeah, have a bit of a chat about how that all works, like the the kind of the I guess the science, the the nuts and bolts behind it.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_03: And then um, like no doubt I'll have questions.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and then maybe go practical process, like have a look at practical pro practical process for overcoming menopause symptoms, like stuff that we feel in our bodies and how that might yeah, because I think that would be cool to to kind of dip in there and see see what happens with that.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_03: Are you okay with that?
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_01: That's perfect.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_01: You can throw me anywhere in I'll I'll find a way to make it work, don't worry.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, cool.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_03: Welcome to the Midlife Rebel Podcast.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_03: It's time to rewrite the midlife story for women who refuse to be put in a box.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_03: Because maybe midlife isn't a crisis.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe it's an awakening.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_03: Our bodies and our intuition are deeply connected, although we're not really taught to trust either.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_03: So what if your body isn't turning against you in midlife?
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_03: What if it's asking to be heard?
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_03: Those recurring aches, headaches, or perimenopause symptoms might not be problems to silence, but messages worth listening to.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_03: Today's conversation is about learning how to read those signals, awaken our innate wisdom, and reclaim our authentic self.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_03: My guest is Dr.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_03: Yvette Rose, author, spiritual teacher, and trauma recovery expert.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_03: Her work supports people to reconnect with their bodies and return to a more authentic way of living.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you so much for joining me.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_03: What do I call you?
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_03: Dr.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_03: Rose?
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_03: Yvette?
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_03: Doctor?
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_01: Let's do Yvette.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: Let's just have a fun chat.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_01: And thank you so much, Sadie, for that beautiful introduction.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_01: I am thrilled to be here.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_01: I'm really excited to type into this much-needed topic that I feel we need to unpack it these days in a different way.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_01: So I really look forward to it.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, well, I'm really looking forward to that as well.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_03: I've spoken to quite a few different people who, you know, we talk about this mind-body connection.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_03: Um, yeah, and it's always really great to hear different perspectives on it because not it's not a one-size-fits-all for each person.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_03: And like we really need to sort of explore for ourselves what tools we need and and yeah, explore, explore all the possibilities to find out what kind of works for us.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_03: That's that's my um take on it.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_03: Anyway, so you've done a lot of work.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_03: You're I've um had a look at your website.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_03: You've it's extensive.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_03: You're a teacher, you're a speaker, you're an author, you're a coach, and you've got your own lived experience of this work that you do.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_03: So, should we start with that and like how you came to be doing all of the amazing things that you were doing?
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_01: This is such a great question.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_01: So, I'm actually gonna throw a plot twist in there, right?
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_01: So after everything that you said I'm doing right now, would you believe me if I told you that it was not by any means on the cards for me to do what I'm doing now?
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_01: If you had to tell me this, I think I would have gone straight into a psychiatric hospital and said, just book me in now and save my future self from this disastrous life that I'm about to create, right?
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't believe.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_01: I was not a believer.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_01: So I ended up in my early 20s being actually an atheist, right?
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_01: Even though I have had incredible spiritual moments that it's just unbelievable, yeah.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, the word unbelievable just captures it.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_01: That would convince anyone that there's something beyond what we cannot see.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_01: And that was not enough to keep me on my path because of my relationship with my father.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_01: I had a really very traumatic relationship with him.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_01: I was the only child as well.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_01: So there was no one else to share the pain and the burden with, right?
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_01: So it was all coming here.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: And my mom was just trying to always be the peacekeeper, trying to keep things under control.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_01: And it was like her full-time job.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_01: And something in me just so deeply wanted to become a crime scene investigator.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_01: I wanted to become a lawyer, right?
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_01: And what people don't realize, you know, this is so interesting because something that I realized looking back at that, at these choices now, not all people, everyone listening, not all, but some of us, which some of us, including this one, me, I've had no idea that my career choices was actually based on my unresolved trauma.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_01: It was a trauma response.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_01: Because the crime scene investigator was that little girl that was like, why did this happen to me?
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_01: Why was justice not given to me?
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_01: You know, where's the clues that pull all of this together as to, well, you said this never happened, but I know it did because my body is telling me that it did.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_01: And no one's defending me.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_01: No one's protecting me.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_01: There's the lawyer, right?
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_01: So I actually studied this.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_01: I studied this for about six months.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_01: And finances dried up fast.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_01: You know, way back then, I didn't have support from my family, not because they didn't want to, but my dad was lost his job.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: My mom was financially just trying to keep her head above borders.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_01: So she was really doing her best.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_01: So I was running different jobs to try to sustain the financial weight of studying.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_01: So I was studying business management at the time as the core foundation to just get through with the intention, okay, I can use this to continue to pay for my studies.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_01: But even that collapsed because the studies became more expensive.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_01: And so I had to let it go.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_01: And later in my life, as with most of us, we live our life and we start to feel pain, psychological pain, physical pain, anxiety, depression, and all these symptoms just became worse and worse and worse as I moved into my early 20s.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_01: And it got it got to the point where it literally drove me to my knees.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_01: Because the way that I was coping with life, the way that I was coping with this silent pain that my body was holding, I didn't understand what was going on.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_01: All that I was doing is I felt these fires popping up metaphorically, figurative speech.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm just trying to, you know, put them all out with different behavioral patterns and coping mechanisms that was not the right tools given the problem because I didn't understand what the problem was.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_01: How can you apply the right solution if you cannot even name the problem?
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_01: So anxiety is not enough, depression is not enough.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_01: Why?
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_01: Why do you have that?
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_01: And I didn't know how to go beyond that.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_01: And as with most of us, um, and this is also my book and my autobiography.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I don't know how many people can relate because not everyone needs to hit a crisis before they change.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: I was the one where I needed to hit a crisis before I would change, and I hit my crisis.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_01: I had my absolute dark night of the soul.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I was on heavy depression, antidepressant medication at that point already, you know, I had severe anxiety, even though I was highly successful in what I was doing, because this is where all my energy, all my trauma was being poured into.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_01: I used my job to regulate myself.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_01: But then you can only do it so much, right?
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_01: So I overworked, I was overtired, and I was burnt out, and I was breaking down inside, and my environment was just kept being the same, and had a partner that was a reflection of my father because that's what regulated my nervous system.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_01: And not understanding how to break any of these patterns, I had no idea.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_01: So, all that I learned was how to quote, how do I survive and not thrive and not live?
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_01: And one morning I woke up and I just said, you know what?
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_01: I can't do this anymore.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_01: This is not the life that I want.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_01: I was and I and this, I was just 22.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_01: I woke up, you know, I had a big house, six bedrooms, 17 acres.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_01: I was living in Australia, I had a tennis court, I did jacuzzi, I had everything that I wanted.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_01: Everything that I wanted.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_01: And not because of my partner, because some people go like, well, yeah, how much of that was with the partner?
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_01: Well, we were strictly 50-50.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_01: You know, half of that was my effort and my hard-earned effort as well.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I just thought, you know what?
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_01: There's nothing to wake up to.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_01: Everything that I'm seeing is not making me happy, it's making me miserable.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_01: I hate my life, I hate how I feel, and I don't want to do this anymore.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_01: And I was so clear in myself.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_01: I was crystal clear in myself.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_01: And I left a voice message on my manager's phone at the time, five o'clock in the morning, giving all my passwords, giving all my projects, everything that I was being that I've been doing, because I was a very fear-based person, right?
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_01: So I did three people's jobs, so because I was on contract.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_01: That means they can fire you any day.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_01: So I made myself indispensable.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_01: I was doing three people's jobs.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_01: So they needed me.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_01: I was saving the money, and my work output was excellent, right?
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_01: I was a really good um um contractor to have.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_01: And I just I just couldn't anymore.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_01: So what happened was I sat there and and I waited for my partner the time to go to work because I I was I wanted to end it.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_01: Like I wanted to end my life.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_01: This was it for me.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_01: And like I said, I was so clear in that decision.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_01: And as I sat there and I was thinking, how am I gonna do this?
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_01: The question kept coming.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_01: You're asking the wrong question.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_01: And Nadine, here's the thing: I was an atheist at that point because I was raised Christian, but my dad was the drunk, alcoholic, you know, man that would go sit in church and then go and drink his guts out every week, every day, and beat me.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_01: He never beat at my mom, he never raised his hand to her, but only me.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_01: Because it was my fault that he was drinking, it was my fault that his marriage was falling apart, it was my fault that he was so miserable, right?
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_01: Someone needed to be blamed, and that's what alcoholics do because they can't take responsibility, it's always someone else's fault.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_01: And it was mine.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_01: So that burden of feeling responsible for the world, feeling responsible for people and how they feel, I just couldn't do it anymore.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't want to feel that weight anymore, and I didn't know how to get out of it.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_01: And so the voice was a man's voice, but a very, do you know David Attenborough?
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I love him.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_01: If I ever could have had a father, I was like, I love this man.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I would sometimes play, I would play Planet Earth, all he'd video it in the background on an iPad when I was working, and his voice would regulate me.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_01: I used his voice to get me through the toughest times in my life, and I never knew why, but but now I understand that he held his voice, that vagal tone, because my dad screamed at me.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_01: My dad never talked to me, he always screamed at me.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_01: And here is this beautiful, soothing voice, just talking about animals and nature, which is non-threatening, right?
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_01: So everything was just so non-threatening, anyways, and so very similar to that.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_01: And that voice just came in, and it didn't feel like it was inside, it didn't feel like it was outside of me.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_01: It was, it was, it, it, and I've never had an experience like that.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_01: And it just said, you're asking the wrong question.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_01: And somehow it awakened the spiritual side in me as a child.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_01: I could see beings, I could see what you would call angels.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_01: They don't look like angels with wings, but they they were like beings with different colors and you know, bringing forward different messages, different sensations, and they never felt threatening.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_01: And somehow I started getting flashes of this coming back, right?
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_01: Coming back to my roots.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I sat there and I'm thinking, and there's a part of me that's very competitive.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_01: Thank God for that.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_01: I'm a very competitive person.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_01: And it said, What about asking the question of how to be happy again?
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_01: There's people around you that's happy, right?
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm sitting there, I'm thinking, yeah, there are people that's generally happy, not faking it, there's real that's really truly happy.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_01: And the question came again.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so maybe we're asking the wrong question.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I sat there, I'm thinking, how to be happy?
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_01: How do I do this?
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_01: And believe it or not, I say I know it sounds really weird, but I mean, you have to think back then when we had these Plunkadel computers, you know, we we barely, you know, we still had these flip flip mobile phones.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_01: Like this is way, way, way back, you know, many, many, many gazillion years ago.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_01: And I started there ago.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_01: Do you record what 20, 19, 20 years?
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_01: I'm 41 now, and it happened when I was around 22.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_03: So 19.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_03: So I mean, yeah, yeah.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_01: Don't ask me my maths.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I nearly felt it in high school for reasons.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_01: Um really.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_01: And so um I I sat there and I'm and I'm and I'm typing into Google how to be happy.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_01: And you know what came up?
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know if you remember Doreen Virtue when she was still practicing before she converted back to being Christian.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_01: So she was so Doreen Virtue used to do angel cards and she was connected to angels, the spirit guides.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_01: Doreen Virtue came up, and Neil Donald Walsh.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_01: Conversations with God.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_01: And long story short, this called me back home.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_01: This called me back today.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_01: Neil Donald Walsh, it was me and him, and I thought, okay, I can digest this.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_01: I'm I'm like, I'm not ready for the angel parts yet.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_01: Because where were you when all these things went wrong?
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_01: And God, where were you when all these bad things happened to me, right?
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_01: So this is where my mind went.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_01: And I thought conversations with God.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, okay, I'm gonna do this because God, do I have some questions for you?
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_01: How do I open up this really, right?
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, how how am I how do I open up this channel here?
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_01: Because I have some beef with God, you know.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_01: We need to sort some things out.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_01: And um Nadine, and my thank God for the competitiveness in me, the determined event.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_01: Because I, you know, to live with someone like my dad, because he was a drug, self-medicated drug addict and a clinically diagnosed sociopath as well.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_01: I forgot to mention that.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_01: Not that it was actually a big deal, quote unquote joke.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and that competitiveness is what saved me.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_01: That discipline, that determination to get out of that house, that determination to make it, that determination to look at my dad every day, drunk on the couch, thinking, my life will be the opposite of yours.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_01: I will do whatever I can to not live the life that you have, the life that you have created.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_01: And I nearly created the life that he had because that was my definition of coping.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_01: This is what we do when we get stressed.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_01: This is what we do when we don't know what to say or when we don't know how to handle things, right?
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_01: And three months later, after I had that turnaround, three months later, I quit my job, corporate job, and I started teaching people how I changed my life because my life changed, Nadine.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_01: Like you wouldn't believe the changes, the differences, because I finally became self-focused and I invested in my mental health.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I just told people how to do what I did.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_01: I found a business partner, put a few videos on YouTube, and it went viral.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_01: And booked out for two, like I think it was 18 months, booked out overseas, speaking and teaching, speaking and teaching.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_01: And that's all that I did.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_01: When you were just to explain to people how I how I turned my life around.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_01: I was 23 at that point.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_01: Um, it was just on the bridge as it was about to turn 23, 24.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_01: And I was during these years where it just exploded.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_01: It exploded.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm I'm thankful for that.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_01: I'm thankful because this is what opened me up on my path.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_01: And believe it or not, I still had no idea that I was going to become an author.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, that's for professionals.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_01: I can't write a book.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_01: What do I know about it?
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_01: And so as I was, you know, talking about the psychosomatics that we, you know, that you touched on during my introduction.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_01: So this is what opened up the doorway to that.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_01: Because as I was teaching and speaking, I noticed, oh my goodness, why is it that Candace, who's sitting up in Norway, and Alice, who's down in New Zealand, both have arthritis maybe in their left shoulder.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_01: Why is it that you two have the same trauma triggers and the way of coping with trauma?
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, isn't that interesting?
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_01: And I and I shrugged it off.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_01: I thought, oh, this is interesting.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_01: How wild.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_01: And so I kept writing and I kept, you know, diving into this and keeping my you know, my client notes and compiling it.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_01: And it was just this undeniable truth that I just started to look at.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_01: We all share the same blueprint.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_01: No matter your diet, your belief systems, where you're from, we we we we respond to trauma very similarly.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_01: We formulate similar beliefs.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_01: And what's interesting is then it can either exacerbate, if not cause, a medical ailment.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_01: Now, people go, well, how can emotions cause ailments?
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_01: Well, hello, broken heart syndrome.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_01: People die from that.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_01: That's that's a heart attack.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_01: I had it when I was 29.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um, IBS, irritable bowel syndrome.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_01: It's so severe that some people can't even go to work some days because of the cramps, the pain, the bloating, then it's diarrhea, then it's constipation.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, this is real.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_01: Some people cannot even absorb their the nutrition and they get um they get malnourished.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_01: And doctors are like, well, it's not a medical element, it's psychosomatics, it's all in your head.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_01: Really?
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_01: Wow, sorry.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, it's psychosomatic.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_01: Stomach ulcers, it's psychosomatics, it's not classified as a medical element, it's stress related.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_01: What causes stress?
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_01: Our emotions, right?
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_01: So this is where I started to dive into it.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_01: I'm thinking, oh my god, well, if these little bit of elements are psychosomatic, what else is?
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_01: What else is?
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_01: And so I started playing around with this.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm thinking, okay, talking to my clients, I'm saying, okay, well, if you have this issue, these are the trauma points, this is the stress factors around that.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_01: Would you be open to me helping you to maybe release this stress?
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_01: And let's see if we can at least just improve your quality of life from this airline.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_01: And lo and behold, you know what happened?
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly what I predicted.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_01: It improved their quality of life with the ailment.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_01: And in some cases, it just happened that we couldn't find any further evidence of certain challenges that people were having.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm thinking, my God, isn't this amazing?
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_01: You know, back then the young and me like, oh my goodness this is this is wild.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_01: You know, what is next?
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_01: What is next?
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_01: And so I compiled this data into a manual that was of ailments and these elements holding the message, the emotional message and the traumas.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_01: And someone once said, Yvette's manual is amazing.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_01: Why don't you make a book of it?
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, a book?
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_01: Come on, whatever.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I'm just like, whatever.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_01: And I did it.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_01: I just did self-publish.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_01: Publishers wanted to change the work so much.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_01: I said, you know what?
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_01: I don't need you.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you're not going to change my voice.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_01: You don't change the body's message.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_01: Sorry.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_01: There's there for a reason.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_01: And I self-published, and the book just went viral.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_01: It's now sold in 80 countries, it just sold itself.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_01: It's now at hospitals, psychiatric offices, you know, universities.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_01: Um, any average person just wants to learn more about what is the message in their body.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_01: And here I am, speaking and teaching and filming, and just continuing to help people to live their best life.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_01: Amazing.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_01: That was a long answer, but people sometimes don't appreciate you know the road of getting to where I am today, right?
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_01: It it started with me falling apart.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_01: How I rebuilt myself back up and having respect for emotions and how they impact the body.
• 21:35
  unknown: Yeah.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_03: I think it's really interesting how what you observed in your younger years when you're in your, you know, when you talked about that point when you were 22, that you, yes, you were successful, you were working hard, you were doing the job of three people, you you know, had all of these things.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_03: But in fact, that was all a cover up for what was going on.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_03: And it was a it was a stress response.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_03: If I'm busy if I've got these things, then I don't really need to you don't feel all of the things that you need to feel.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_03: And that uh some might I'm sure it was difficult at the time, and in hindsight, it's much easier to kind of see how it all fits, the story all fits.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_03: And finally, you and you still work hard and you do all of those things, but your vibration has been raised, you're doing it more mindfully and with more purpose.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_03: Um I love how you put that, yes.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, because it's obviously part of your energetic blueprint, isn't it?
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_03: Like you've got a lot of energy.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I do.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_01: And I, you know, I'm passionate.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_01: I love, I absolutely love what I do, and it comes from just seeing how things can really shift if you touch on certain things, and it gets me excited.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_01: Really, it gets me so excited because when I see people in front of me, I see the life that you can have.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_01: If we maybe just touch on a few things, maybe make some dietary changes, you know, hire a nutritionist, hire a life coach, and let's let's let's tackle that trauma, you know.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_01: So it's really to see people's highest potential of what they're capable of, it's beautiful.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_01: You have to hold that light for someone who can see it themselves, right?
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, yes.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_03: I think that's a really good example as well of like you're not, you've you've got that energy, you've got that passion, and you use that in in your 20s.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_03: It was like a practice run, I guess.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but it was covering up other stuff.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but that's a really good example of how you're still able to use that energy, but it's for a greater purpose, um, and that we don't need to necessarily let go of our behaviors or you know, who we are just because we've had a bad experience with it, but it's about nurturing it in the right way to have that highest expression.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_03: I'm really interested, I love this idea of um the metaphysical anatomy and the psychosomatic and metaphysics, epigenetics, you name it, I love it.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and actually, my first um contact with it, my first um, yeah, I walked into a bookshop and I was kind of, I think I was in my early 20s and I was feeling a little bit lost, you know, and and I went into this bookshop that was next door to where I worked, and this book had uh you was it a book?
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_03: No, it was a cassette tape.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_03: That's how long ago it was for me.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_01: I love the cassette tape that days, you know, where you record songs for your friends and your partner, and this is I remember it.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_03: You can heal your life by Louise Hay.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, bless, yes, beautiful.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_03: So your work is very similar.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_03: I think yeah.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_03: Would you um be able to sort of share some insights around what it means, what all of these words mean epigenetics, metaphysics, psychosomatic, as you touched on?
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_03: Um and yeah, how I guess it's the manif is it the physical manifestation of our thoughts and emotions.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_01: So let's start, yeah, perfect.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_01: No, you asked really great questions.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_01: So let's start with a list and we'll work our way down.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_01: So we're already we already touched on psychosomatics.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_01: That's when emotions become so strong that the body's threshold to be able to digest it, deal with it, and and work with it starts to um it it reaches that that breaking point.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_01: And so this is where emotions through hormones, through cortisol, through adrenaline can start to actually show up as maybe heart palpitations, um, feeling dizzy, brain fog, feeling sick, um, feeling sick in your stomach.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_01: I cannot emotionally digest.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_01: This is normally in anyone else listening, I'm sure you can relate.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_01: If you've ever felt nauseous or you feel squeezing in your stomach when you deal with a certain situation or person, it's because you have a sensitivity to feeling the emotions that this person or environment is triggering, and your body's just saying, I've had enough.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want to deal with this anymore.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_01: Let's have some boundaries.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_01: Where's our boundaries?
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_01: That's what it's saying, right?
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_01: But what's interesting is when we look at the stomach, because that's where people feel nausea, it's triggering unresolved trauma that you have with your mom.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_01: It's triggering unresolved trauma that you have with your mother, and normally during infancy stages or during very young childhood years.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_01: And so this is a very somatic response, which means that you know it's very visceral, it's very, it's very physical feeling.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like, where's the memory?
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_01: Well, it's right there in our stomach.
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_01: So that's where the memory is, and sometimes we don't know how to decode that.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_01: So just a fun example there.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not saying it's always the case that it's mom, but it's normally mom or a female figure that was very that had a very influential, authoritative position, like a mother figure would in your life, right?
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_01: And so um, that's an example of psychosomatic.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_01: So now let's touch on the metaphysics.
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_01: This is where we get really excited.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_01: Am I allowed to talk about my book to to support this theory?
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, okay, great.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_01: So I don't know if some people say yes, some people say no.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so you're the yes person.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_01: So this is the book, Metaphysical Anatomy that yeah, that used to be the manual, and this is now a book, and so this is of 722 medical elements and the emotions impacting, right?
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_01: So the messages.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_01: So now here's the metaphysical part of it.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_01: So you see the word meta.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, meta.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_01: It's a reason why I chose that name for the book, and then metaphysical anatomy.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_01: Meta normally means, you know, it's like that space between you and I where we can feel something's going on, but we don't know what it is.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_01: Like an example.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_01: Have you ever walked in the street and then you see someone, they're sitting there, and you just feel and you can't see their face, right?
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_01: This is important.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_01: You can't see their face, but you just feel wow.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_01: Hmm, this feels really sad.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_01: This person feels really mad, or something just feels off, but it's so strong that it changes the physiological physiological response in your body so strongly that it gets your attention.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, something's going on.
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_01: Oh something about that person feels off.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_01: Oof, I don't know what that is, but it doesn't feel good.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_01: But you couldn't see their face.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_01: What exactly told you that something's not right there?
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_01: What told you that?
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_01: Your body, yeah.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_01: Well, that's nice, but what did your body respond to?
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_01: Wow, how did the data get into your body to change the physiological response in you?
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_01: What was that?
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_03: Is it your own experience?
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_03: Or no?
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_01: This is called electromagnetic field combined with your instinctive responses.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_01: Your instinctive responses is always scanning.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's always scanning your environment.
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_01: But through this field, we know we have a, you know, in in new age terms, people would call it aura field.
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_01: But this is normally electromagnetic field.
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_01: It's emanated also from um neurotransmitters firing off different messages, creating this electrical field, this body that we have.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_01: And this is constantly, you know, also in working in conjunction with our instinctive responses.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_01: And data through these fields is being exchanged, brought back into the body through our neuropeptides, through our own vibrational um frequency, changing our frequency.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_01: And these neuropeptides holding the messages being pumped through the biology of the body.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_01: This is beautiful research done by Dr.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_01: Candace Pert.
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_01: And just changing how you're feeling.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_01: So, yes, it could be that you have a prior mess, a prior experience relating to how that person's feeling that's way that's being woken up within you to tell you how that person's feeling.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_01: Now, Nadine, here's the beauty of this.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_01: Here's the beauty.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_01: Now you felt really bad based on looking at that person, but no evidence to indicate to you that they're sad, other than your body telling you something is not right, something is negative.
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_01: And so I sat there and I'm thinking, okay, if that person's body can change the physiology in my body, what will happen if I, and I call this uncontrolled focus because we just looked at the person and boom, now we don't feel good.
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_01: What if we learn how to control this God-given gift?
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_01: What if we learn how to control it?
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_01: What can we do with it?
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_01: And this is how I developed my healing technique, metaphysical anatomy technique.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_01: Teaching people how to focus on that person or a person's body or their own, and with clear intent, controlled focus, how to create instant change, how to create release, right?
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_01: Because imagine now that person, other people, yeah, and yourself, and yourself, and yourself.
• 32:34
  SPEAKER_01: So imagine now, because the the message came.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_01: Well, Yvette, what if you look at that person and you feel how they're feeling?
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_01: Imagine now that person was looking back at you, holding beautiful positive intentions of healing, release, or whatever it is that you need, and you just and and they just look at you and and you connect.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_01: What do you think will happen then?
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_01: Wow, and this opened up this this this veil, the veil dropped.
• 33:05
  SPEAKER_01: For me, the veil dropped, and the message was clear.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_01: It's clear.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_01: And so this is how the metaphysics and and this and and quantum entanglement came into the picture.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_01: Staying with someone until there's a resonance, Candace Purt called this frequency matching is taking place.
• 33:27
  SPEAKER_01: Wow, isn't that isn't that nominal?
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_01: Well, if I'm holding a certain state with clear intentions for your body to do something, what do you think is gonna happen?
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_01: What do you think is gonna happen?
• 33:41
  SPEAKER_03: Well, it will manifest, I would expect.
• 33:45
  SPEAKER_01: Correct.
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_03: For good or bad.
• 33:49
  SPEAKER_01: And in this case, for good.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 33:51
  SPEAKER_01: In this case, for good.
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_01: But that's also why they say watch who you spend, you know, the five most people that you spend the most time with.
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_01: It's because of this entanglement, it's because of this data transfer, right?
• 34:02
  SPEAKER_01: So, and so that covers the metaphysical side of it.
• 34:07
  SPEAKER_01: Why I called my book and my work metaphysical, because there's unexplained data that's being exchanged.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_01: What are we gonna do with it?
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_01: Just because you can't see it doesn't mean that we should, you know, feel well, I'm inadequate.
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I don't I can't see it.
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_01: So now what?
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_01: Well, so what?
• 34:26
  SPEAKER_01: You can feel it.
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_03: Feel it.
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_01: You know when you feel sad, you know when you feel happy.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_01: Don't tell me you can't feel your emotions.
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_03: I think it's interesting as well because often we do have those experiences where we get some kind of, I'll just call it vibes, right?
• 34:42
  SPEAKER_03: From That's it, yes, perfect.
• 34:44
  SPEAKER_03: And it might not be very positive vibes, like you said, that you know, you can feel something coming from that person.
• 34:51
  SPEAKER_03: And in an in an unaware state, what happens, and I would be honest and say this, I would experience this.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_03: If I feel that from someone, I might become defensive.
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_03: And what you're sort of saying is that you can switch that frequency to uh actually something that's much more positive, more give more giving, more healing, yeah.
• 35:18
  SPEAKER_03: And like changing the, yeah, changing the exactly.
• 35:22
  SPEAKER_01: So your defensiveness is triggered because of prior memories associated with that sensation, with that feeling, and then triggering that bichemical response of how we responded in the past.
• 35:33
  SPEAKER_01: So of course you become defensive.
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_01: But here's the beauty now.
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_01: You are aware of I feel defensive.
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_01: I don't feel good about how that person's making me feel.
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_01: So this is where we can learn with that awareness, with that information, this data.
• 35:47
  SPEAKER_01: Now we can do something with it constructively.
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_01: So now I feel defensive.
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_01: That person, you know, triggered this feeling within me.
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_01: And this is where we can start to communicate and regulate the body, helping the body to understand I'm feeling the way that I do because of just an old memory that was now triggered by this person.
• 36:04
  SPEAKER_01: Right now I'm safe and I am okay.
• 36:07
  SPEAKER_01: And that person's going through their own stress, and I don't need this person to get involved in my life in any way, shape, or form.
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_01: And it's reminding ourselves that we have boundaries because we get defensive because there was that old younger part of us that forgot or didn't know that we have boundaries.
• 36:23
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 36:23
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 36:24
  SPEAKER_01: So it's an instant moment of loss of power, which I can deeply relate to because of my father, right?
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_01: Everyone was a threat to me.
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_01: I would I didn't have friends, I didn't have, you know, people that I would allow even into my house because I'm like, who are you?
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_01: What do you want?
• 36:38
  SPEAKER_01: It's the first question, what do you want?
• 36:40
  SPEAKER_01: You're talking to me, what do you want?
• 36:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, right.
• 36:42
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't trust people.
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 36:46
  SPEAKER_00: And now I work with people.
• 36:48
  SPEAKER_00: Isn't that incredible?
• 36:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's it's okay.
• 36:52
  SPEAKER_03: So metaphysics, psychosomatic, you've mentioned, um, epigenetics.
• 36:58
  SPEAKER_03: Is that connected?
• 37:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, it is, in a very incredibly amazing way.
• 37:04
  SPEAKER_01: So let me just briefly touch on I'll make the answer quick because I know there's a few more things that we want to talk about.
• 37:10
  SPEAKER_01: So I actually did I get I have so much fun with these conversations.
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_01: So I actually did a I was a keynote speaker at the medical uh medical conference in London at Queen's Mary University two years ago, and I brought the subject up.
• 37:23
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, I'm sitting with doctors, PhDs, everything in front of me.
• 37:27
  SPEAKER_01: And I sat there and I said, you know, there's this theory or this idea of emotions can be passed down, and you know, you can already see people just frowning and just going, yeah, well, but we don't know about that.
• 37:39
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, Wow, isn't it interesting that doctors say that IBS is inherited?
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_01: And everyone goes like, yeah, yeah.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, okay, good, this is great.
• 37:52
  SPEAKER_01: And who here can agree that IBS is also psychosomatic?
• 37:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, it is.
• 37:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, it is.
• 37:59
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so can someone tell me exactly what's being inherited?
• 38:05
  SPEAKER_03: It's genetic, isn't it?
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 38:08
  SPEAKER_01: Epigenetic.
• 38:09
  SPEAKER_03: Epigenetic.
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, well, would everyone agree then that it's uh it's a perfect, you know, commodulated structure of emotional stress that's passed down that says, well, if I feel this type of stress, we react this way.
• 38:27
  SPEAKER_01: Can anyone agree?
• 38:30
  SPEAKER_01: And everyone's looking at each other, it's like I I don't know.
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, no, it's not I don't know, it's obvious.
• 38:39
  SPEAKER_01: Good morning, hello, it's obvious, right?
• 38:45
  SPEAKER_01: Just as um heart problems, cardiovascular problems.
• 38:51
  SPEAKER_01: The mother who's pregnant with that child, her stress is determining how strong that child's heart health is going to be, and how sensitive they're going to be to stress.
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_01: That heart attack later in life.
• 39:10
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, it's in the genes.
• 39:12
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, is it really?
• 39:14
  SPEAKER_01: I acknowledge some heart problems can be because of genes, but what happened in that generation where a message was passed down to the cellular structure developing the heart coming together.
• 39:29
  SPEAKER_01: Why is it that it's not strong?
• 39:32
  SPEAKER_01: If you take dietary out of the equation, now what?
• 39:39
  SPEAKER_01: What is next?
• 39:40
  SPEAKER_01: What is next?
• 39:42
  SPEAKER_01: It's emotions, emotions, instinctive responses.
• 39:47
  SPEAKER_01: They they fire together, that means they wire together.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_01: So when there's a final flight response, there's going to be emotions, there's going to be memories.
• 39:57
  SPEAKER_01: Memories, yeah.
• 39:59
  SPEAKER_01: So now it's a matter of this coming through.
• 40:04
  SPEAKER_01: We feel the sensations, but we we don't know what's going on.
• 40:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, because maybe the memory didn't start in your life.
• 40:13
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe the memory started so early, you were still maybe developed being developed in your mother's womb.
• 40:20
  SPEAKER_01: Isn't that incredible?
• 40:21
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 40:22
  SPEAKER_01: I had someone who had the who had severe anxiety, heart palpitation, severe anxiety.
• 40:29
  SPEAKER_01: It was a live demonstration in Berlin that was being filmed.
• 40:32
  SPEAKER_01: And it happened to be her mother's anxiety that she copied as a young toddler.
• 40:39
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 40:40
  SPEAKER_01: We cleared it in 15 minutes.
• 40:42
  unknown: Really?
• 40:42
  SPEAKER_01: I had no idea where 15 minutes.
• 40:45
  SPEAKER_01: I had no idea where it was gonna lead to, no idea.
• 40:49
  SPEAKER_01: And I have contact with her to this day, and it hasn't come back.
• 40:55
  SPEAKER_01: And even she didn't make the connection.
• 40:57
  SPEAKER_01: I would not have called her a fool believer at that point, but she is now.
• 41:02
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 41:04
  SPEAKER_01: How does it work?
• 41:06
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, it's incredible.
• 41:07
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, totally.
• 41:09
  SPEAKER_03: How does it work?
• 41:11
  SPEAKER_03: Um because we do, like if we do have experiences of, let's say, anxiety, IBS, whatever they are, and they have been passed down through emotional trauma that's held by an ancestor or a parent.
• 41:30
  SPEAKER_03: How do we begin to identify that it's not ours?
• 41:36
  SPEAKER_01: That's a great question.
• 41:38
  SPEAKER_01: So I actually made a free video also for anyone who would like to dive into this at um guided healing session, www.guidedhealing session.com.
• 41:50
  SPEAKER_03: We can put that.
• 41:50
  SPEAKER_01: But to answer your question here, yeah.
• 41:53
  SPEAKER_01: So there it's actually a healing session that anyone can go through for free.
• 41:56
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and it's just my my gift to help people support them.
• 41:59
  SPEAKER_01: Um, because I know what it's like to hit a crisis and you can't afford support.
• 42:04
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and then so basically, this is where we need to talk to the body.
• 42:08
  SPEAKER_01: This is where our focus and awareness needs to come back here because now we're coming back to the very vessel that we built our lifestyle around avoiding, because we don't like to feel.
• 42:20
  SPEAKER_01: We don't like to feel it doesn't feel good.
• 42:22
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, we're gonna go this way.
• 42:23
  SPEAKER_01: This feels uncomfortable.
• 42:24
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, we're gonna go do something else to avoid that.
• 42:26
  SPEAKER_01: You know, um, I don't know how to regulate that, so let's have that glass of wine, right?
• 42:30
  SPEAKER_01: So it's really a matter of coming back into the body.
• 42:34
  SPEAKER_01: Where in your body do you feel that stress?
• 42:37
  SPEAKER_01: Because this really matters, because that's where it has been accumulating, because certain emotions is actually drawn to certain parts of the body for all of us, and when we connect to that part of the body, and this is where it gets really fun.
• 42:55
  SPEAKER_01: The more relaxed you are, the better the information is going to come forward.
• 42:58
  SPEAKER_01: Have you noticed how you're looking for something and you can't find it?
• 43:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, and then suddenly when you're relaxed, boom.
• 43:05
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, but it's over there, but I don't need it anymore.
• 43:09
  unknown: Right?
• 43:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, this has happened to a lot of us, and it happens when you are in the flow state, when things are just kind of where everything's okay, it just is, and then boom, the information comes.
• 43:20
  SPEAKER_01: And that's because data cannot flow when you're stressed, when you're rigid, when you feel overwhelmed.
• 43:28
  SPEAKER_01: It congests.
• 43:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it congests that vibration of negativity can sometimes be so strong that it you you can't feel you can't be in the flow and and feel stressed at the same time.
• 43:39
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 43:40
  SPEAKER_01: It it can't.
• 43:40
  SPEAKER_01: It's like people, I'm fighting for happiness.
• 43:42
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, well, yeah, you're kind of in the wrong vibration to even attract it, right?
• 43:47
  SPEAKER_01: So let's look at why we're angry first.
• 43:50
  SPEAKER_01: So this is where it this plays a really big role.
• 43:53
  SPEAKER_01: I I like to do, for example, breath work, you know, jump up and down, get rid of the stress, get rid of the cortisol that's stuck in the body, and then take a deep breath.
• 44:03
  SPEAKER_01: And now we need to be playful.
• 44:05
  SPEAKER_01: And this and to be playful can sometimes take a lot of trust from people because, well, that's just my imagination.
• 44:11
  SPEAKER_01: Well, this well, that what if that's not true?
• 44:15
  SPEAKER_01: Well, this is when we're very relaxed.
• 44:17
  SPEAKER_01: Have you noticed when you daydream sometimes, and especially if it's positive, it just flows and you just get so caught up into it, and emotions just come up, and before you know it, you feel all this cocktail of emotional chemicals that's flowing through your body, right?
• 44:31
  SPEAKER_01: So, this is where it's really important that when we use our imagination, that we're in the flow.
• 44:39
  SPEAKER_01: I'm going to imagine that my body has.
• 44:41
  SPEAKER_01: Voice.
• 44:42
  SPEAKER_01: I'm going to imagine that it can just speak now.
• 44:44
  SPEAKER_01: Because when we do that, we let go of control.
• 44:47
  SPEAKER_01: We let go of expecting something to come forward, or it should be this way, it has to be that way.
• 44:54
  SPEAKER_01: And this is where people get really incredible messages.
• 44:56
  SPEAKER_01: But here's the trick: you have to give yourself a countdown of one, two, three.
• 45:01
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 45:01
  SPEAKER_01: Really fast.
• 45:02
  SPEAKER_01: One, two, three, what is it?
• 45:03
  SPEAKER_01: And that's it.
• 45:05
  SPEAKER_01: If you pause longer than three seconds after that, now you're getting back in your way.
• 45:10
  SPEAKER_01: It starts to take over.
• 45:11
  SPEAKER_01: And you yeah.
• 45:11
  SPEAKER_01: That's it.
• 45:12
  SPEAKER_01: And you're gonna sabotage.
• 45:13
  SPEAKER_01: You're gonna sabotage it.
• 45:15
  SPEAKER_01: So this is a really beautiful way to help people to come back into the body and to hear or understand or sense or feel what could the message be?
• 45:24
  SPEAKER_01: Did you get a color?
• 45:25
  SPEAKER_01: Did you get a voice?
• 45:26
  SPEAKER_01: Did you see someone's face?
• 45:27
  SPEAKER_01: Did you get a message?
• 45:29
  SPEAKER_01: Did you see maybe of a quick movie clip of something?
• 45:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 45:33
  SPEAKER_01: Because people brush it off as oh no, but no, that that's that's just my imagination.
• 45:39
  SPEAKER_03: How silly realizing, yeah.
• 45:40
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 45:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no, it's not.
• 45:42
  SPEAKER_01: Your intuition works in incredible ways.
• 45:46
  SPEAKER_01: But we've not really learned to listen to it.
• 45:50
  SPEAKER_03: So we need to sort of uh just to circle back around very briefly about that question, um, to do with like, do we know if it's ours or not?
• 46:00
  SPEAKER_03: And it's really just about feeling where it is, listening to the body, and then working on processing it.
• 46:07
  SPEAKER_03: So you might say that it doesn't actually matter whether it's yours or not in that case.
• 46:12
  SPEAKER_03: It's it's like it's there, you're having the experience.
• 46:16
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 46:17
  SPEAKER_03: But I think that potentially we get we uh when our head takes over and we start doing all of the internal, you know, what's wrong with me, then that um yeah, that's that's a problem.
• 46:33
  SPEAKER_01: It can give people a lot of relief, naming the problem, being able to understand what it is, and that's why I say go into the body, whose face do you see?
• 46:43
  SPEAKER_01: Is it yours or do you see someone else?
• 46:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, this is normally how I dive into identifying it.
• 46:48
  SPEAKER_01: And anyone who has that gut feeling, I feel this, but it's not mine.
• 46:54
  SPEAKER_01: Listen, yeah, listen to it.
• 46:57
  SPEAKER_01: I I cannot stress this enough, please listen to it because it's there for a reason.
• 47:02
  SPEAKER_01: It's there for a reason.
• 47:04
  SPEAKER_01: There's so much stuff that's come up in my life, and I kept feeling, you know, I kept smelling smoke, and I'm thinking, what is this?
• 47:11
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I feel this emotion, I'm smelling smoke.
• 47:13
  SPEAKER_01: It was my dad's because he was a smoker.
• 47:18
  SPEAKER_01: So see how it sometimes can come forward, and sometimes I will see a flash of his face, or I'll get a flash of my mom, and sometimes I will get a flashback of my childhood.
• 47:27
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, oh, okay, so that's mine.
• 47:29
  SPEAKER_01: So I've learned to listen.
• 47:31
  SPEAKER_01: And it's so subtle, Nadine.
• 47:33
  SPEAKER_01: It's so subtle, it's a it's split seconds.
• 47:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, split seconds.
• 47:38
  SPEAKER_01: It's not gonna be like an IMAX movie taking place in front of you, no, and this is this is where we need to learn to bring become more self-focused during our healing work, during our um self-check-in work.
• 47:53
  SPEAKER_01: Because every morning, every morning I check in with myself and I do a 10-minute clearing to regulate.
• 48:01
  SPEAKER_01: Every night I spend at least 30 minutes.
• 48:04
  SPEAKER_01: So now I spend longer checking with myself.
• 48:07
  SPEAKER_01: How am I doing?
• 48:08
  SPEAKER_01: Clear this, let go, let go, clear this, clear that.
• 48:11
  SPEAKER_01: Because I want to have a restful evening.
• 48:12
  SPEAKER_01: I don't, and and you know it's really interesting.
• 48:14
  SPEAKER_01: I stopped having nightmares when I did that because I helped my body to process what hasn't been processed during the day, whether it's conscious or subconscious, but just learning to listen to it and learning and understanding what needs to be, what needs to go today.
• 48:31
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 48:33
  SPEAKER_03: I thought it would be really interesting to have a look at some of the experiences that women have during midlife, specifically perimenopause, menopause.
• 48:45
  SPEAKER_03: Um and just chat with you about that and maybe look at some practical process, uh, practical process for overcoming those symptoms in our bodies.
• 48:57
  SPEAKER_03: I'm really curious because um you've sort of talked about these ailments, let's say, or symptoms, uh, throughout the book that you've written, and you've got a free e-book as well about that.
• 49:13
  SPEAKER_03: What's it called?
• 49:13
  SPEAKER_03: Restoring the emotional body.
• 49:15
  SPEAKER_03: I've downloaded that.
• 49:16
  SPEAKER_03: So that's got like the um body parts, and if we're experiencing pain or discomfort in those body parts, what it means.
• 49:25
  SPEAKER_03: Um as the symptoms, the the well-known symptoms of menopaunopause, let's say brain fog, hot sweats being the most common, they're univ they seem universal.
• 49:42
  SPEAKER_03: So that kind of goes with your book and like that we experience things universally.
• 49:50
  SPEAKER_03: Can you do you have any sense of what our emotional oh yes?
• 49:59
  SPEAKER_01: What emotional thing might be going on right then?
• 50:02
  SPEAKER_01: So here's where it gets really interesting because I and I've worked with quite a few, you know, women who have been through these processes and um you know, through in groups and conversations and sessions.
• 50:14
  SPEAKER_01: And here's the thing.
• 50:17
  SPEAKER_01: I find the most common, I acknowledge the brain fog and you know, sometimes itchy ears and all of that, right?
• 50:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, the the biggest one that they actually complain about is the rage.
• 50:31
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, right, and the irritation, yeah, an oversensitivity to everything.
• 50:38
  SPEAKER_01: All of a sudden, this your husband that you life loved your whole life, suddenly you want to divorce him.
• 50:43
  SPEAKER_01: Suddenly that cupboard that he never closes, all these just goddamn it now.
• 50:46
  SPEAKER_01: I just I want a divorce.
• 50:49
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want to close cupboards after you anymore.
• 50:51
  SPEAKER_01: The smallest things fires off.
• 50:55
  SPEAKER_01: Your hormones are changing, yes, and how your body is processing your emotions are also changing, and what this hormonal shift in women is showing them, take note what is making you so angry, what's irritating you the most?
• 51:18
  SPEAKER_01: Choose the top three, work with the top three biggest triggers because this is what I call silent anger coming back to life.
• 51:27
  SPEAKER_01: What these pre-menopausal menopausal stages is showing women is what have you been holding on to, and you never had time to process, because this phase in your life is gonna show you exactly what needs to give in order for you to make the next, to open up the next chapter in your life.
• 51:49
  SPEAKER_01: And here it is, with ease and grace, with ease and grace.
• 51:54
  SPEAKER_01: Because a lot of women during these phases, they take they make drastic big decisions.
• 51:59
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna quit my job, I'm gonna leave the husband, I don't want to be a mom anymore, I wanna do this.
• 52:04
  SPEAKER_01: And it's it's it's big changes that a lot of women want to um create.
• 52:11
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes when they do do that, it's not always the right decision.
• 52:16
  SPEAKER_01: It's a knee-jerk precision, it's a wounded decision.
• 52:19
  SPEAKER_01: To create lasting results, we need to make decisions that healed decisions.
• 52:25
  SPEAKER_01: So I always tell women, whatever the pain points are, don't do anything quite yet.
• 52:30
  SPEAKER_01: Heal the pain, what's coming up now, because your tolerance for it, your body is saying, enough, enough, I don't want this anymore.
• 52:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so symptoms have drastically come down by just looking at the three top triggers that makes you angry, okay, that makes you irritated, and tackle it ruthlessly, tackle it head on because you know what the brain fog that's dissociation.
• 53:06
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
• 53:08
  SPEAKER_01: Language, I'm not saying medically, yeah, disclosure, disassociation, it's dissociation because I'm overwhelmed.
• 53:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm overwhelmed.
• 53:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I don't want to close that cupboard anymore.
• 53:20
  SPEAKER_01: I'm overwhelmed, and I don't know what to do with this anger.
• 53:22
  SPEAKER_01: I'm overwhelmed.
• 53:23
  SPEAKER_01: So shut down.
• 53:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, shut down.
• 53:26
  SPEAKER_01: Your ears are itching.
• 53:28
  SPEAKER_01: Notice when it itches.
• 53:31
  SPEAKER_01: What is it that you know, not in the moment, what is it that you know that's gonna come that you just don't want to take in any?
• 53:40
  SPEAKER_01: Uh-huh.
• 53:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 53:41
  SPEAKER_01: Not someone yapping in the moment, it's an anticipation.
• 53:45
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 53:46
  SPEAKER_01: Anticipation.
• 53:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yep, yeah.
• 53:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's the that's the key.
• 53:50
  SPEAKER_01: People always go, well, what is it that you don't want to hear anymore?
• 53:52
  SPEAKER_01: People like, well, I don't know.
• 53:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 53:54
  SPEAKER_01: I also wouldn't know.
• 53:56
  SPEAKER_01: You're asking the wrong question.
• 53:58
  SPEAKER_01: What do you anticipate hearing that you have had enough of?
• 54:03
  SPEAKER_01: And you don't know what to do about it.
• 54:05
  SPEAKER_01: What about hot sweats?
• 54:07
  SPEAKER_01: That's that's the anger.
• 54:09
  SPEAKER_01: So this or what has become so unhealthy in your life and you don't, and that you want to push out and you don't know how.
• 54:21
  SPEAKER_01: You feel scared, you feel powerless, or maybe there's boundary failures, right?
• 54:26
  SPEAKER_01: All of this has made huge differences.
• 54:30
  SPEAKER_01: Huge differences.
• 54:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I actually shared this, this, these um case study insights with um several doctors in London when I was there during my medical conference, and they go, This is so interesting.
• 54:42
  SPEAKER_01: I saw this in them, but I never made the connection.
• 54:45
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, yeah.
• 54:47
  SPEAKER_03: Does it have to evolve involve another person?
• 54:50
  SPEAKER_03: Because you know, immediately I think is it like children, cousins, yeah, relationships.
• 54:57
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, but that's a person, right?
• 54:59
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, but does it have to involve another person?
• 55:01
  SPEAKER_03: Like, do it does it generally involve a relationship?
• 55:05
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 55:06
  SPEAKER_01: It it normally does because let's be honest, a lot of the reasons why we feel the way that we do is because of our relationship.
• 55:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, exactly.
• 55:17
  SPEAKER_01: The mirror.
• 55:18
  SPEAKER_01: So, I mean, can it be that you you lost a job and you're you're reminiscing now over, oh well, I don't have a purpose, I'm not good enough anymore.
• 55:26
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely, it absolutely can be um circumstantial as well, yeah, for sure.
• 55:33
  SPEAKER_01: But I find we're normally looking for very deep-rooted wounds.
• 55:40
  SPEAKER_03: And do you feel like that's people like the anger is something that's just been held on to and now it's like ready to come out?
• 55:50
  SPEAKER_03: Is that like hormones changes?
• 55:53
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and internalized, like, I don't like having to shut the cupboard door, but you just do it, and then all of a sudden it's like, I really don't like to shut the cupboard door.
• 56:02
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not gonna do it.
• 56:03
  SPEAKER_01: And it's not even about the cupboards.
• 56:05
  SPEAKER_01: And it's not even about the cupboards, it's how it makes you feel.
• 56:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, unheard, unseen, disrespected.
• 56:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, well, let's follow the trail of this.
• 56:14
  SPEAKER_01: Is there a pattern between you and your husband regarding that?
• 56:17
  SPEAKER_01: Is there maybe a prior relationship that created these wounds that are so strong?
• 56:21
  SPEAKER_01: Is it maybe it's mom and dad?
• 56:23
  SPEAKER_01: Is it maybe everyone?
• 56:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but remember, I'm I'm touching on this again and I'm repeating it again.
• 56:28
  SPEAKER_01: It's silent anger.
• 56:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and that's why it comes up so explosively, because it's been silent, it's been cut down quite a while.
• 56:36
  SPEAKER_01: And the whole thing is changing your threshold with for emotions, it's changing your threshold.
• 56:43
  SPEAKER_01: So that's why that silent anger is now so explosive, because your capacity to to push it back down and to because you're so focused on other things, has been really solid.
• 56:57
  SPEAKER_01: But that starts to break down when our hormones change how we interpret and feel our emotions.
• 57:04
  SPEAKER_01: It changes that threshold, that damn wall, it changes in in thickness.
• 57:10
  SPEAKER_03: What would you suggest that um women do?
• 57:16
  SPEAKER_03: I didn't have rage, I don't feel like I had rage.
• 57:22
  SPEAKER_03: I was pretty fortunate.
• 57:23
  SPEAKER_03: I didn't have really bad symptoms in in perimenopause and menopause.
• 57:30
  SPEAKER_03: Um but what would you suggest for women who do?
• 57:34
  SPEAKER_03: Is like get curious, or are there some simple steps that we can take?
• 57:39
  SPEAKER_01: So so the a really basic step, first of all, is to not get caught up in how do I escape this?
• 57:48
  SPEAKER_01: Meaning the environment that could be triggering certain symptoms.
• 57:52
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 57:53
  SPEAKER_01: Because this is where people often make the wrong, a wrong decision, because it's a wounded decision, it's not a healed decision.
• 58:00
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's asking yourself, well, if I healed certain points that's really aggravating me right now, things that's causing me to lose the plot.
• 58:08
  SPEAKER_01: If if that is absent, would I still want to leave the situation?
• 58:11
  SPEAKER_01: Would I still want to change the situation?
• 58:13
  SPEAKER_01: And for some people it might be yes, but at least now moving forward, you make the right decisions because later down the line, you're just going to be in damage control mode if it's a knee-jerk reaction.
• 58:25
  SPEAKER_01: I see this time and time and time and again, right?
• 58:28
  SPEAKER_01: So it's really about coming back to you.
• 58:32
  SPEAKER_01: Is it a wounded response or is it really truly I've just had enough?
• 58:37
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 58:38
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 58:38
  SPEAKER_01: So what I and and and so what I see for women, and so I don't know what your symptoms were, but if it's brain fog, what is it that feels overwhelming?
• 58:47
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't have to be what makes you angry, but what in my environment feels overwhelming that I need to break from it, right?
• 58:55
  SPEAKER_01: I just I need to take a step back and I don't know how.
• 58:58
  SPEAKER_01: So where's overwhelm?
• 59:01
  SPEAKER_01: Empaths, empaths tend to struggle with overwhelm.
• 59:04
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 59:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 59:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 59:06
  unknown: Yeah.
• 59:07
  SPEAKER_01: Feeling responsible for people.
• 59:08
  SPEAKER_03: And then I just don't and then once they've identified, what would they do next?
• 59:16
  SPEAKER_01: So the next step is what am I going to do with these strong emotions?
• 59:21
  SPEAKER_01: What are we going to do with that?
• 59:22
  SPEAKER_01: Which tool do you choose to use?
• 59:25
  SPEAKER_01: It can be anything out there in the world.
• 59:26
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't have to be, you know, what I'm doing.
• 59:28
  SPEAKER_01: It can be anything that you relate to.
• 59:30
  SPEAKER_01: What I love to do is to is breath work, and my special specific breath work is just very quickly in the mouth, out the nose, 13 times.
• 59:39
  SPEAKER_01: Last breath you hold as long as you can, and just drop into that ease and grace that comes forward.
• 59:43
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes we're in meetings and we can't do it.
• 59:45
  SPEAKER_01: So people ask me, then what?
• 59:47
  SPEAKER_01: So what and I've been there, I get it.
• 59:48
  SPEAKER_01: So what we do is I or what I do is I take a deep breath through my mouth, just subtly.
• 59:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I hold it.
• 59:57
  SPEAKER_01: No one can see it, and I hold it as long as I can, and then I exhale out the nose.
• 1:00:01
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 1:00:02
  SPEAKER_01: That for me is an instant diffuser, right?
• 1:00:05
  SPEAKER_01: That knee-jerk explosive, yeah, you know, snap reaction.
• 1:00:09
  SPEAKER_01: It really curbs it, it really releases the impact of it.
• 1:00:14
  SPEAKER_01: And it helps me then to just okay, let's be rational.
• 1:00:18
  SPEAKER_01: What's really going on?
• 1:00:20
  SPEAKER_01: So it's really about just managing that explosive reaction that we sometimes have, right?
• 1:00:27
  SPEAKER_01: Just it's in that moment we can find our clarity because for the frontal cortex to communicate to the hippocampus and to regulate emotions and to rationalize and understand, there's a 90-second frame.
• 1:00:40
  SPEAKER_01: What are we gonna do in these 90 seconds?
• 1:00:42
  SPEAKER_01: Because this is this is gonna make or break how we're gonna feel and and how everyone else is gonna feel as a result, right?
• 1:00:48
  SPEAKER_01: So let's use this time constructively because there's not a lot.
• 1:00:53
  SPEAKER_01: So that one simple breath work is great.
• 1:00:55
  SPEAKER_01: What I like to also do for me is to stand up and jump until I'm exhausted.
• 1:01:00
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 1:01:00
  SPEAKER_01: Because there's cortisol, there's adrenaline that's being triggered.
• 1:01:03
  SPEAKER_01: Because what is anger?
• 1:01:05
  SPEAKER_01: That's cortisol right there.
• 1:01:07
  SPEAKER_01: Your body's flooded with cortisol.
• 1:01:09
  SPEAKER_01: How are you gonna get rid of it?
• 1:01:11
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 1:01:12
  SPEAKER_01: So maybe because you're in fitness, you're you're already, you know, pumping out all that cortisol and that adrenaline.
• 1:01:18
  SPEAKER_01: And that's probably what's also been regulating a lot of emotions.
• 1:01:21
  SPEAKER_01: I I love to walk.
• 1:01:22
  SPEAKER_01: I love to sometimes um power walk.
• 1:01:24
  SPEAKER_01: I don't run.
• 1:01:25
  SPEAKER_01: I only run with something chasing.
• 1:01:27
  SPEAKER_01: I power walk, right?
• 1:01:28
  SPEAKER_01: So and I really am vigorous, you know, so I walk out my anger, I walk out my frustration.
• 1:01:33
  SPEAKER_01: So during the day, I feel I feel pretty good.
• 1:01:36
  SPEAKER_01: So I would be the one that would have brain fog or feeling a bit overwhelmed, or you know, it's this or it's that.
• 1:01:43
  SPEAKER_01: So these are really great ways to manage these types of emotions.
• 1:01:47
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes I'll go for a walk twice a day if I feel like I need to.
• 1:01:51
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:01:51
  SPEAKER_01: So these are very simple, easy, great ways to help.
• 1:01:55
  SPEAKER_01: And another thing for women who's struggling with this, um, and I'm gonna share what I I normally work, what helps me and what helps my clients as well.
• 1:02:03
  SPEAKER_01: And this might sound really funny, but crystal ball music.
• 1:02:09
  SPEAKER_01: What is that?
• 1:02:10
  SPEAKER_01: 470 hertz crystal bowl music.
• 1:02:13
  SPEAKER_01: Why?
• 1:02:13
  SPEAKER_01: Because they it can't that frequency, it's constantly regulating your nervous system.
• 1:02:18
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, I like to have it in my ear, in my in my ear parts when I'm on the airplane, and you know, if it's not my kid screaming and crying, it's gonna be someone else's, you know, ear parts in and just it's incredible.
• 1:02:32
  SPEAKER_01: I you you drop into a flow state, it it's beautiful.
• 1:02:36
  SPEAKER_01: Half crystal ball music just softly playing in the background, anything above 470 hertz.
• 1:02:44
  SPEAKER_03: If a woman is in, I'm conscious that we've we're uh just bit beyond our hour, so I won't hold you on hold you for much longer.
• 1:02:53
  SPEAKER_03: That's all right.
• 1:02:53
  SPEAKER_03: I've got one more.
• 1:02:56
  SPEAKER_03: If if a woman is in the thick of those experiences, and I think you've actually written a book about um people using medications.
• 1:03:09
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, solving pain without pills.
• 1:03:11
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, so I'm yeah, solving pain without pills.
• 1:03:13
  SPEAKER_03: I think it's this one.
• 1:03:14
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, solving pain without pills.
• 1:03:16
  SPEAKER_03: So it's a model.
• 1:03:17
  SPEAKER_03: So what happens for us in uh you know regular everyday life if we don't know people like Dr.
• 1:03:24
  SPEAKER_03: Yvette Rose and her work?
• 1:03:26
  SPEAKER_03: Um we have the symptoms.
• 1:03:30
  SPEAKER_03: We go to the doctor, the doctor puts us on a medication to dampen down the symptoms.
• 1:03:34
  SPEAKER_03: If a woman is listening to this and she she might have that experience, firstly, or she's having all those symptoms and she's like, Yeah, but I haven't got time to do the things.
• 1:03:46
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I've got all of this experience and it's uncomfortable, I don't like it.
• 1:03:50
  SPEAKER_03: I want it to go away.
• 1:03:52
  SPEAKER_03: What do you say then?
• 1:03:54
  SPEAKER_03: Do the work.
• 1:03:56
  SPEAKER_01: I would say heal your relationship with change because you're used to struggling.
• 1:04:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you are comfortable feeling uncomfortable, and we need to we need to unpack that.
• 1:04:08
  SPEAKER_03: Ah, I love it.
• 1:04:09
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, very good.
• 1:04:11
  SPEAKER_01: Only way that you're gonna get rid of it is through change.
• 1:04:14
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you don't like change.
• 1:04:16
  SPEAKER_01: Well, ooh, shoo! Now what?
• 1:04:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, pain, crisis, or is it gonna be just a decision?
• 1:04:23
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, love it.
• 1:04:25
  SPEAKER_03: Choose your path and choose it wisely.
• 1:04:28
  SPEAKER_03: Love it.
• 1:04:29
  SPEAKER_03: One final question, Yvette.
• 1:04:34
  SPEAKER_03: What does it mean to you to be a midlife rebel?
• 1:04:39
  SPEAKER_01: You know what?
• 1:04:41
  SPEAKER_01: I don't give a damn, and I love it.
• 1:04:44
  SPEAKER_01: I love it.
• 1:04:46
  SPEAKER_01: I love that I care less about what people think, people's opinions.
• 1:04:53
  SPEAKER_01: What I love about is because I used to fight for approval.
• 1:04:57
  SPEAKER_01: I used to fight for for acceptance, all of it, and I morph myself into um becoming this person, and I feel like I'm a rebel of inner peace now.
• 1:05:09
  SPEAKER_01: It's like I'm I I don't tolerate anything that disrupts my inner peace.
• 1:05:15
  SPEAKER_01: You're not part of my regulation environment.
• 1:05:18
  SPEAKER_01: There's the exit sign, right?
• 1:05:20
  SPEAKER_01: It's not about how much people I can have in my life, it's about how much peace I can have in it and who can hold the space for me, and vice versa.
• 1:05:30
  SPEAKER_01: But other people, how can I hold that same peaceful space for you as well?
• 1:05:34
  SPEAKER_01: These are the people that I want in my life, and they it it's not negotiable, it is not negotiable.
• 1:05:43
  SPEAKER_01: I love it, and I love this take a deep breath life that I have now.
• 1:05:52
  SPEAKER_01: For me, after everything that I've been through, it's the greatest gift that I could have finally uncovered.
• 1:06:01
  SPEAKER_01: I notice in my 30s how I felt.
• 1:06:03
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I'm feeling more confident, I don't care about, you know, I dress for me now, and now my emotional world is set up for me.
• 1:06:13
  SPEAKER_01: And not about how can I show up for you.
• 1:06:16
  SPEAKER_01: You know, for some people, my energy, it can be a lot because I'm like, you know, I talk a lot, you know, I get so excited when certain topics come up and I look like the Pandora's box.
• 1:06:25
  SPEAKER_01: I don't care.
• 1:06:26
  SPEAKER_01: My husband's like, you know what, you're you're maybe just tone it, not and it doesn't and he doesn't mean it mean.
• 1:06:32
  SPEAKER_01: He's he's a bigger empath than me because he can see sometimes I might become a bit too much for some people when they ask questions, and I'm excited.
• 1:06:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm really into the conversation, and I'm and I'm just going off and I'm asking them questions and it's like back and forth.
• 1:06:47
  SPEAKER_01: And he's sometimes like, you know, um, that woman, you know, or that person looked a bit intimidated when you were talking to them.
• 1:06:54
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe next time you should tone her down a bit.
• 1:06:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, no, no.
• 1:06:58
  SPEAKER_01: Then you need to bring people to our house that can handle me because this is my personality, right?
• 1:07:05
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 1:07:05
  SPEAKER_01: And so now what I'm also saying is I don't walk over people either.
• 1:07:10
  SPEAKER_01: Of course, if I can see the person's very timid, they're very shy.
• 1:07:14
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna go ramble as I am, and not because I'm changing myself, but because I have compassion for that person's um sensitivity, maybe to shyness, to people who could be loud, right?
• 1:07:28
  SPEAKER_01: So there I will adjust.
• 1:07:30
  SPEAKER_01: I will so I always observe and see who can handle this, who can, where can I be me, and where do I need to hold space for someone else, right?
• 1:07:38
  SPEAKER_01: Who can't hold space.
• 1:07:39
  SPEAKER_01: So that's just a compassionate um way of it's just emotional awareness combined with social etiquette.
• 1:07:50
  SPEAKER_01: That's it.
• 1:07:51
  SPEAKER_03: Hey there, Rebel.
• 1:07:52
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you for listening to this episode of the Midlife Rebel Podcast.
• 1:07:58
  SPEAKER_03: If you'd like to support the show, you can buy me a coffee by going to Buy MeACoffee forward slash Midlife Rebel Podcast.
• 1:08:07
  SPEAKER_03: Thanks for listening.