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The Top 3 Libido Killers You Need to Know · Libido Lounge

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  Welcome to the libido lounge where we focus on all things love, lust, and libido.
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  We believe that fabulous sex is important to health as exercise and good food.
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  Hey everybody, Doctor.
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  Diane, your libido doc here.
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  Welcome back to another episode of the lounge.
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  I'm so excited to have you today.
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  We're talking about the top three most major root causes of a low libido.
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  And if you're listening to this and you're like, well, I don't even know for sure if I
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  have a low libido.
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  Is my libido low?
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  Make sure you go back to earlier episodes of this podcast where I talk about that, or you
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  can just head over to libidoquiz.com and take my free libido quiz, which is gonna tell you
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  it's gonna go through a research based questionnaire about if your libido is actually
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  low, so you'll learn.
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  And if it is, then it's gonna take you through a second part of the quiz, which is going to
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  tell you the top likely root causes.
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  Also, I'll include in my show notes information to my post about wanting to want it, and make
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  sure you look out for my book coming out later this year called want to want it, where we're
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  gonna go into all of these topics in much more depth and detail.
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  So let's talk about the top root causes.
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  So the top three root causes are physical, personal, and interpersonal.
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  And so those are the thought top categories as far as why we are not having that charged up
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  libido, why we're not having that passion, why we kind of lost some of those juicy, yummy
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  feelings.
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  So we're gonna talk in more detail what do those mean.
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  So let's break this down for you guys.
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  So physical reasons for low libido are commonly sex hormones, the most commonly known one, and
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  it's really common.
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  Like, I work with a lot of people that are hormone specialists, and they send a lot of
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  their clients to me because a very common thing that will happen is hormones will get balanced,
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  which is amazing.
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  We can feel so much better when hormones are balanced.
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  And while it can fix some people's libido, and it can turn on that passion, for many people,
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  they get their hormones balanced, and then it's like, well, I don't have my want it back.
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  Right?
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  What's happening?
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  And so that's why people get referred to me because there's while hormones are very, very
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  known for supporting a healthy libido and absolutely important for libido in so many
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  areas to keep your hormones balanced, it doesn't always fix things.
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  And by hormones, I'm talking about estrogen, progesterone, DHEA, cortisol, those adrenal
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  hormones, and your thyroid hormones.
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  Right?
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  So there's a lot wrapped up in that hormonal picture.
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  So that's one thing.
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  Cardiovascular is another thing that we'll put under the physical root cause category.
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  So cardiovascular issues for low libido really are related to blood flow.
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  So one of the things you may have heard me talk about, because I like to say this a lot, is low
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  libido oftentimes is the first sign of a cardiovascular problem.
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  Cardiovascular problem is the leading cause of disease worldwide, and low libido is oftentimes
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  an early warning sign.
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  I learned this from amazing cardiologist, doctor Joel Kahn.
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  And so essentially, from, you know, thinking about that, we think about that oftentimes with
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  men because men with erectile dysfunction, cardiovascular issues are oftentimes tied up
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  with that.
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  But with women, the whole thing with women is that we also have cardiovascular root causes
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  preventing blood flow, preventing that erectile tissue from getting in gourd, preventing
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  lubrication, and, typically, preventing pleasure.
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  So that's a major root cause, nervous system.
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  Right?
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  So having that right signal from your brain to your erectile tissue from the nerves to get you
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  turned on is also a major thing.
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  And then the fourth category is stress.
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  So stress, I did mention actually some of the hormones in the the hormone section of this doc
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  already.
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  So stress is cortisol and and DHEA are those two major stress hormones, But stress is a
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  huge, huge, huge, usually decline, usually breaks for most people libido.
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  There's occasionally people, and doctor Emily Nagoski talks about this, in her work, in her
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  study on libido, where stress can be an accelerator.
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  Right?
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  So sometimes when people get stressed, they get revved up.
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  For most people based upon the chemistry of our brain and how our the chemistry of our brain
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  affects our genital response, that we actually see that that stress is, for the most part, a
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  down, it turns down that libido.
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  So those are all the top physical root causes.
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  There's others, right?
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  Anything that can inflame us, toxins, for example, definitely can impact libido.
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  Certain toxins like BPAs, for example, are known to be endocrine disruptors that can
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  disrupt our hormones.
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  So there's there's other, like, sub sub sub categories.
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  Right?
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  And we could go very, very deep down some rabbit holes here, which I do love to do, and I
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  do teach people, but one thing at a time.
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  As far as, like, the physical stuff from the physical tier, those are some of the top
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  causes.
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  Now, some of the second category we have is the personal.
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  So the personal category of root causes for libido, I've talked about throughout this
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  podcast in pieces, but I haven't really framed it this way for you guys to understand it.
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  So the personal root causes are going to be things like confidence, clarity, right?
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  So from a clarity standpoint, do you really know the difference between your needs, your
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  preferences, your desires?
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  Right?
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  Do you really know, like, oh, wow.
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  You are not gonna enjoy not gonna be able to get into your body if you don't have ten
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  minutes of soft touch ahead of time.
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  You know, I know couples that start sex every single time with a trading off of massage
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  because they know that's a need to get them into the moment.
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  Right?
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  So do you understand what needs to truly needs you have in order to be turned on, in order to
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  enjoy it?
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  Do you know your preferences of, like, well, it's not a need, but if we can do this, I
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  really like it.
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  Do you know your turn offs?
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  And so much of the time, we are so programmed by what society says that sex is, that we don't
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  really understand our own needs, wants, preferences, desires.
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  So that's a huge thing under the personal root cause, and this is where sometimes the concept
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  that a lot of us in the sex world talk about is like having the wrong type of sex comes up is
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  because if we don't know our needs, preferences, wants, and desires, and we're just
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  kinda going for it, we might have we might be having sex in a way that is actually not really
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  turning us on, that is not feeling good.
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  And frankly, if it's not doing those things, it's not very motivating to go back for more.
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  Right?
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  Let's just face it.
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  So when we really get into our needs, wants, preferences, and desires, what we begin to do
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  is we have a personal relationship with, Oh, this is the right type of sex for me.
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  This is a type of sex.
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  This is type of intimacy.
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  This is type of touch.
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  This is type of love that really helps me keep coming back to more, you know, more and more
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  and more.
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  Some of this also from a personal standpoint is making sure we have good pelvic health and
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  pelvic tone.
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  You know, it's amazing when we are doing proper weightlifting for our vagina, when we're doing
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  proper Kegel exercises for our vagina, these sorts of thing as women.
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  And also for men, when you are doing exercises to actually keep the musculature of your cock
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  strong, all of these different things can actually make a big difference in the process
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  of sexuality and enjoyment.
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  Like, for men, you know, a lot I know a lot of men that have, like, gone through, like, David
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  Davis program, for example, and really have worked to control orgasm and really have worked
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  to edge, you know, that process where you're getting close to orgasm and you pull it back
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  and you're getting close to pull it back, which makes things last longer, which also can bring
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  a lot more pleasure bidirectionally.
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  Right?
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  And so these are some of the practices though on a personal level of, like, have we just like
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  going to a gym?
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  Have we actually done the work to make sure our pelvic floor is strong, to make sure our
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  muscles are strong?
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  Have we actually done any internal work?
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  Because one of the things from a personal root cause is if the muscles of whatever, you know,
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  anatomy you have, if you're if the muscles are not working super well, if they don't know when
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  to contract or they're so contracted because we actually hold so much tension in our pelvic
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  floor that they're not able to relax appropriately, guess what?
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  That's where we can get pain.
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  That's where it doesn't feel good.
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  That's where oftentimes we can have a difficult time orgasming.
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  So when we're actually doing things from a personal standpoint, even like internal massage
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  for women that we can do ourselves using fingers, using sexual massagers.
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  There's actually professionals that even help with that sort of thing doing pelvic floor
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  release techniques.
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  Right?
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  So we can actually start getting the the tissue functioning well.
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  That also falls under the personal root cause category.
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  We can go deeper and deeper in this, of course.
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  There's also the ability to, you know, know and understand how to begin to communicate.
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  There's also the concept I talk about in this work of the five sexual types that I have
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  defined.
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  Right?
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  And we talk about that in other videos, so make sure you go listen to that.
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  But essentially, remember the five sexual types are kind of like the five sexual languages.
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  And the concept of sexual languages is really to say, okay, just like the love languages.
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  Right?
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  Just like Gary Chapman coined the love language, you know, title.
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  The sexual languages are essentially these these ways, these types, these typologies of
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  how we show up and how we show up into sexuality in our best self.
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  Right?
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  So that's another important thing.
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  Okay.
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  Now beyond that, we have interpersonal.
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  So this is the third root cause here.
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  So if you want to want it, we want our physical, personal, and our interpersonal to
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  all be turned on, revved up, super juicy.
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  So interpersonal is about how we relate to our partner.
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  Do we know their sexual type?
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  Have we talked to them?
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  Right?
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  Have we actually communicated to them about our own personal needs, wants, desires,
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  preferences, and vice versa?
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  Do we schedule sex?
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  Do we schedule our, as I call them, our intimacy escapades?
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  Right?
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  We have our physical intimacy escapades, and we have our emotional intimacy escapades.
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  Do we explore those?
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  Have we have we done things with those as far as scheduling them and having sacredness around
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  those times?
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  Right?
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  So all of that falls in the interpersonal.
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  And so we don't know our body.
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  We don't know our partner's body, and we're not communicating about the uniqueness of our own
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  body.
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  We aren't teaching ourselves to do this, and we're not prioritizing each other.
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  And we're not being open to the novelty of how to create passion that I've already talked
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  about on this podcast.
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  That's where we can really begin to fall away from the the desire and the wanting to want it.
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  So really in wanting to want it and what you're gonna be seeing throughout this year and and
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  later on this year as I get my book out, and I don't have an exact date yet, but please do
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  take the libido quiz and, learn about, you know, your own, you know, your own root causes
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  here because I'm going to be doing so much cool promotional stuff and giveaways and supportive
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  stuff for you around my book launch.
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  So definitely get, you know, get on that libido quiz so that will help us stay connected so I
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  can make sure to keep you posted on all those cool offerings as I have my want to want it
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  book coming out later this year.
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  And that's really it.
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  So from there, the next thing for you is to go take the libido quiz to to learn about some of
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  these root causes.
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  The libido quiz quiz really focuses just on that physical side of things, but then also
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  continue to look, you know, look through this material to continue to follow me because I'm
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  gonna continue to give you insight into not only these root causes, but what you do about
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  them.
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  So stay tuned for more with me on the libido lounge very, very soon.
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  Make sure you do subscribe and share this with your friends.
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  So you know when all the juicy episodes are coming out.
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  I can't wait to help you even more.
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  This is doctor Diane.
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  Again, thank you for listening to another episode of the Libido Lounge, and I'm reminding
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  you to always stay sexy, always stay classy, and always remember to be a little badass y.
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  See you next time and keep for listening to the libido lounge.
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  Please don't keep me a secret.
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  Please share this with your friends.
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  You can find me on YouTube, on Instagram, as well as how to work with me at mylibidodoc.com.