Latest / The Art of Love With Lucia / Episode 615: Dumper Guilt Timeline
Transcript
- 0:00Hi, this is Lucia with The Art of Love of a dating and
- 0:03relationship expert specializing and helping you get your ex back
- 0:06or to get over your ex. This week I want to talk about
- 0:09the Dumper guilt timeline. Dumper guilt is more common than
- 0:14you might think. If you've been dumped.
- 0:17You probably think your ex doesn't care about your feelings
- 0:20since it was their decision to leave you and they knew it would
- 0:23hurt you, but that is rarely the case.
- 0:27So stay tuned and I will tell you all about the timeline.
- 0:30But first I want to welcome back my beautiful No Contact army.
- 0:33If you have downloaded my app Celencia, which I hope you have,
- 0:37then please be sure to either leave a rating or a review and
- 0:41the link to that app is underneath every single video
- 0:45and podcast. And if you too would like to
- 0:47join our No contact army, all you have to do is hit the
- 0:51subscribe button and the Bell notification and you're in.
- 0:54And to read our manual, go to nocontactsecrets.com, where you
- 0:58can read two free chapters before you purchase the book.
- 1:02Okay. So dump her guilt.
- 1:05When does it start? Well, it actually starts a few
- 1:10days after the breakup. However, at that time, they're
- 1:14feeling more compassion than guilt.
- 1:17If they cared about you, they didn't want to hurt you.
- 1:19But I wouldn't necessarily classify it as guilt.
- 1:23They're not going to be feeling strong guilt at this time
- 1:26because they're in the relief stage.
- 1:28They got what they wanted, so they're happy.
- 1:30So it's very unlikely they're going to be feeling really
- 1:33guilty. This is one of the reasons why
- 1:37you don't respond to bread crumbs.
- 1:39Because they may simply be reaching out.
- 1:42Because they feel compassion for you and they know that you're
- 1:44probably upset and they're hoping you'll respond and
- 1:48relieve them of any small guilt they may have.
- 1:52So by not responding, no, they're not necessarily going to
- 1:55think that you're mad. If you don't respond, as some
- 1:58people are afraid will happen, they don't know what you're
- 2:01thinking or feeling. Just because you don't respond
- 2:03it doesn't mean you're mad. But Dumpy's usually jumped to
- 2:06that conclusion and they try to use it as yet another excuse to
- 2:09stay or to break no contact. So while I talked in the video
- 2:15on the 60 day rule, which I will put the link up in the right
- 2:19hand corner that you're most likely to hear from your ex
- 2:23between days 45 and 60, it doesn't necessarily mean they're
- 2:27reaching out because they feel guilty with a capital G You
- 2:32might be guilt with a small G, but more than anything they may
- 2:36have moments of missing you. Moments where something reminds
- 2:40them of you and or they're curious as to why you've gone
- 2:44quiet. They don't know that you've
- 2:46joined the No Contact Army. Then we have the guilt that's
- 2:51felt from two to six months after the breakup.
- 2:55So by this time, they're usually out of the relief stage.
- 2:59And being single again is not necessarily as exciting as it
- 3:03was when they broke up with you. And if they got into a
- 3:06relationship soon after the breakup, it was likely a
- 3:09rebound. And so this is the time during
- 3:14which that relationship would most likely end.
- 3:18This is when they would start to reexamine the relationship with
- 3:22you, wonder if they made a mistake, and start to feel
- 3:24guilty with a capital G Big G And this can only happen if you,
- 3:32the dumpy handled the situation correctly after the breakup,
- 3:37went into no contact and left them alone.
- 3:40If you didn't leave them alone and you stayed in touch, then
- 3:44they are less likely to fill guilt with a capital G because
- 3:49you can't be that hurt if you're still in touch with them, right?
- 3:53And by the way, if you're finding this helpful, this
- 3:55information, please give this video a like so that the YouTube
- 4:00algorithm will recommend it to other people and we can help
- 4:04other people find out about the dumper relief timeline, dumper
- 4:10guilt timeline, okay. And then finally we have the
- 4:15time period that has passed six months.
- 4:18And this is interesting because they're either feeling no guilt
- 4:22at all and they feel that they made the right decision and they
- 4:26can move forward or they're feeling very guilty.
- 4:30If they met someone during this time and it's working out for
- 4:33them, then I'm sorry to tell you that they won't be feeling any
- 4:36guilty, any guilt. Or if you didn't do no contact
- 4:41and stayed in touch again, they won't feel any guilt.
- 4:44That's why I'm constantly begging you guys to please stay
- 4:48in no contact, leave them alone and don't respond to bread
- 4:53crumbs. And if you did all this and the
- 4:55dumper is not happier than they were when they were with you,
- 4:59then they will feel guilty. And this is what makes dumpers
- 5:02reach out months or even years later.
- 5:05They're not happier and fulfilled without you, and they
- 5:08haven't been able to replace you.
- 5:11And their guilt has built up over time and life has shown
- 5:15them that indeed, they did make a mistake.
- 5:19They're in the reflection stage and this is great for you.
- 5:23It's good news for you. So it's a recap.
- 5:26The jumper would feel guilt with a small GA few days after the
- 5:32breakup and for the first two months and then guilty with a
- 5:36big G in two months from two months onwards.
- 5:41If you behave correctly after the breakup and if they didn't
- 5:45get into another relationship which lasted.
- 5:48So which stage do you think your ex is in currently?
- 5:53Please comment below. And finally, I want to end with
- 5:58a short comment from my YouTube channel and someone heard from
- 6:05their ex after six months and maybe she's feeling guilty And
- 6:10he says today's my birthday and what do you know, She sent me a
- 6:14happy birthday message. Six months of no contact were
- 6:18worth it. There were times when I felt
- 6:20like she would never reach out again.
- 6:22Times when I doubted no contact. But you were rightly Chia I was.
- 6:28It might be just a message and nothing more.
- 6:30However, that is a big win for me.
- 6:33A psychological one, at least. Oh, and by the way, I'll be
- 6:37taking my time responding to that message.
- 6:40My old me would definitely answered her straight away and
- 6:43would definitely try to find an excuse to meet up.
- 6:46Let's show her the new me instead.
- 6:48Yes, let's show her. She might appreciate the old me
- 6:51more, who knows? So hopefully that turned out
- 6:54well and they ended up getting back together.
- 6:58And in the meantime, if you would like my help to get your
- 7:01ex back, contact me at theartoflove.net and we will
- 7:04send you the rates. The direct link is below every
- 7:07single video and podcast. If you found this video helpful,
- 7:10please like, subscribe and share.
- 7:13If you're listening to this as a podcast, please rate and review.
- 7:16And finally, remember that love inspires, empowers, uplifts and
- 7:20enlightens.