Latest / Healing Her Story with Riva Jean-Paul / Moon Phases & Feminine Power: Your Weekly Cycle Sync | Navigating the Void: When You’re Between Who You Were and Who You’re Becoming

Transcript

Moon Phases & Feminine Power: Your Weekly Cycle Sync | Navigating the Void: When You’re Between Who You Were and Who You’re Becoming · Healing Her Story with Riva Jean-Paul

• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: Hello and welcome to today's episode of the Healing Her Story podcast.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: If this is your first time here, welcome.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: I am so honored and grateful that you chose to press play on today's episode.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: I do not take your time and your attention and your focus for granted.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: We live in a world filled with so many choices, choices, an abundance of choices, things to watch and listen to and to read.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: And so, wow, it feels so special that you chose to spend this time with me.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: And if this is not your first time here, if you are returning here, that same goes for you too, especially if you are returning here because, again, you have so many choices.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I believe a very wise and courageous part of you chose to tune in to today's episode for a reason.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe not one that you can understand quite yet.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: But I truly hope that there is something here for you in today's episodes, in our weekly episodes, in every single episode.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: Because the work that we are doing here is truly about so much more than just working with the moon or manifesting living this way, honoring the natural rhythms and cycles of the body, of the world.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's truly to me an act of revolution.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's a way of embodying a different way of being in our fast-paced, busy, patriarchal world where we are literally watching systems crumble right before our eyes.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: And we are in some interesting times where there is great shift happening.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: There's also a lot of violence and oppression and a lot of inhumane things happening in the world.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: And so to me, menstrual cycle awareness, cyclical awareness is an antidote to all of that because it brings in a more feminine way of living, of being, of creating.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: And the qualities that can come with this are compassion, gentleness, understanding, collaboration, compassion, empathy, patience.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: These are all qualities that I believe we really need more of in the world.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: And it would be so interesting to see what a world like that would look like, where those values, where this way of being is important, or is at least part of the conversation.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: And that's certainly the conversation we're having here on this show.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: So as you can maybe sense, there is something much deeper here that you are tuning into.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm especially excited for today's focus.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: So we'll get into that here in a moment.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: Before we do, I'll invite us into a minute of silence.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: And in this minute of silence, you are invited to come into a place of more presence with yourself.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're driving, maybe you've got something going on in the background, maybe you're getting ready for your day, seeing if you can slow down and become more aware of whatever might be in your hands, whatever might be supporting you, whether it's a chair or the floor.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: And as you notice that contact, seeing if you can soften, even if it's just one or two percent here.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: And then from this place, bringing your awareness to your breath, maybe slowing the breath down by extending the inhales and extending the exhales.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: And as you allow the breath to slow down, perhaps you can allow life to slow down, even if it's just for a few moments here.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: And when life begins to slow down, we can better sense what is here.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: What is here in your heart, in your mind, in your body, maybe in your womb?
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: And as you sense what is here, maybe gathering where you might be in your inner rhythm, especially if you've been here listening for a while, are you more in an inner spring, inner fall, winter, or perhaps summer?
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're not sure, that's that's okay too.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: Just noticing what you notice for the next minute.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: I more often will use a timer I have either on my watch or on my phone, but today I counted.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: So I thought that was interesting.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I also did a few neck circles and really sense this tension that I've been carrying in the neck and in the shoulders.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: I've had a pretty full active day today and yesterday as well.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I am cycle day 23, I believe, in my inner autumn phase, getting ready to head into my inner winter at the end of this week, which, or maybe early next week, now that I'm feeling into it a bit more, which I'm honestly I always really look forward to.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: That time I truly love the retreat.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: And even as I speak about it, I get tingles up and down my arms and on the tops of my shoulders.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: My body just really loves this sacred space to rest, to be.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: There is this sense of peace that I really find in my inner winter.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, not all of the time.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: And uh more often than not, that peace is available to me, especially when I really can carve out the space for it.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: So we'll see how the timing has always works with the cycle, because you know, to a certain degree, I'm not in control.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: I can plan, I can prepare, I can try to orient my schedule around the time that I think my bleed will come.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: But, you know, she surprises me often and certainly a lot more uh this year, which was a new experience for me, having more inconsistent cycles.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: For many um years, I believe, or at least when I became aware of it, I was 28 days very consistently for a long time.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: And then I think, you know, our lives uh change, uh, we change, and I started working more, and it's been interesting to see how my body has responded to that.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: So this year has really been a year of finding out how to take care of my body in this season of my life that is a bit more full, that comes with more responsibility, and that inevitably comes with more stress, even if it is positive stress, if you will.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: So that's me cyclically today.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: This week we are attuning to the void.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: And this week, let me give you some dates here to place us in the right time and place because this week it is the week of December 15th.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so 10 days till Christmas and maybe another.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: What is that?
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: 15, 16 days until the end of the calendar year.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: So it's not only a void through the lunar cycle because we're entering into this dark moon phase, waiting for the new moon to come again.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: And let me look at my calendar one more time.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: I'm pulling out my magic eye planner that really helps me to track all this.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: I will put that in the show notes for y'all.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: I have been using this planner for years and I love it.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: So, yes, the new moon happening on Friday, December 19th.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: And then we also have, by the way, the winter solstice coming up on the 21st.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: So we have this void between this last moon cycle and the new moon coming again on Friday.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: We're at this point of the calendar year where time just gets a little fuzzy, I feel like.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: There's all this extra energy and excitement and perhaps grief and anxiety, and I feel like time just gets very strange this time of year.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: And then the winter solstice.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: So we're entering more deeply than usual the space between endings and beginnings.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: And with that often comes uncertainty, discomfort, a sense of being suspended in something we can feel but yet but can't yet name.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: You might also be feeling this internally, especially if you've been on a path of healing, changing, and transforming.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: You may not know what this new life you're creating is going to look like.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: You may not yet know who this next version of you is, but you do know it's not who you were before.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: If that's you, I want to name how deeply uncomfortable this phase can be.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to say, you're not doing anything wrong by feeling this way.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: As I put this episode together, I kept thinking back to two winters ago.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_00: I had just gone through a huge falling out with a friend group.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: I left a community that I thought was my everything.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_00: I was hosting women's retreats and had to cancel one because of low registration.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_00: I genuinely had no idea what I was going to do next.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: I was grieving, I was confused, and I remember the very real, very loud pressure inside saying, figure it out already.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_00: It was hard.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_00: It was muddy.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_00: And the life I'm living now, the creativity, the alignment, the purpose, all of that is the lotus that bloomed from the muddy void season.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_00: This process is natural.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: And it's also neurological.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: Part of why the void feels so destabilizing is because the brain loves to know.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_00: Our brains are prediction machines.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_00: They're constantly trying to anticipate what's coming next so we can feel safe.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_00: Research in neuroscience shows that predictability reduces threat responses in the amygdala and helps regulate the nervous system.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_00: This is why little kids love routine.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: When we know what to expect, the body can relax.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: And when we don't, the body can sometimes prepare for danger, even when danger isn't actually present.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_00: And this is at the heart of my trauma-informed work.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: If you sign up for a one-on-one somatic breath work session with me, you know there's paperwork, documents, expectations, roles.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_00: You get a full map of what's going to happen.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, it may feel like a lot at first, but after facilitating hundreds of sessions, I can tell you it works.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_00: People arrive far less anxious because the unknown has been replaced with clarity.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_00: So when you're in a season, a life season of not knowing, of not having the roadmap, that's why it feels so uncomfortable.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's because the brain is asking, if I don't come if I don't know what comes next, how do I keep you safe?
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_00: The answer is simple and not easy.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_00: Dare I say trust.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_00: Not the idea of trust, not just saying or affirming I trust, but the experience of trust in the body.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_00: One of the ways I guide people into this is through the breath, or sometimes it's an invitation to explore this in a guided practice.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_00: I have one for you this week.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_00: You will find it in the show notes.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_00: Is your next breath guaranteed?
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_00: Not necessarily.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_00: Life has no guarantees.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_00: But in your day-to-day, we aren't questioning it.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_00: We aren't waking up wondering whether the floor will still be there when our feet hit the ground, right?
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe some of us are.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_00: And if you are, that's okay too.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_00: But I think that, or I maybe hope that we can all maybe see that there is this underlying sense of trust woven into our lived experience.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_00: The next breath will come.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_00: The next cycle will begin again.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_00: Life is still moving even when you're standing in the dark.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_00: But let's pause because I know what might come up here.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_00: You might be thinking, how can you tell me to trust?
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_00: Look at the world we're living in.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I hear you.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_00: I really do.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_00: As I've already named, there is a degree of uncertainty each day that we have to contend with.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_00: And there are a lot of scary, hurtful things happening in the world that we have no control over.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_00: It happens every day, yes.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_00: And if that resistance arises, I would invite you to get curious about it.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_00: That part of you that might be revealing something important, a wound from the past where trust was maybe broken, a moment where safety wasn't guaranteed, a season where the world taught you that trusting life, your body, yourself was dangerous.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I believe that this is more often than not the exact part of us that needs tending in the void.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_00: The part of us that is afraid and hurt and scared and worried.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_00: Pushing it away only makes the discomfort louder because what you resist persists.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_00: When I was in that winter void two years ago, I struggled.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_00: My nervous system was a wreck.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_00: Thankfully, I had time off that winter and space to actually feel what was happening rather than bypass it.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_00: I sat with presence.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_00: I went to my breath practice.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_00: I went to as much somatic therapy as I could afford.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_00: I tended to the parts of me that were grieving, hurt, and afraid.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_00: And gradually those parts began to trust again.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_00: But the shift wasn't about trusting life.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_00: It was about trusting myself.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_00: I started listening to my inner voice, following creative impulses, trying new things, singing, writing songs, testing out ideas, not knowing where they would lead.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_00: And each time something worked or didn't, I built evidence that I could handle it.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_00: I trusted myself to move through whatever came.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_00: This is the kind of trust that can only develop through showing up for yourself, for your parts, for your heart, for your body, for your spirit consistently.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_00: And that doesn't mean doing all of your habits and your routines perfectly.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_00: It means lovingly and gently meeting yourself right where you are in whatever it is that you need when you need it at that time.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_00: And if you miss a day or two meditating or praying or going on your walk, that's okay.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_00: To me, trusting yourself is more about mothering yourself and the sense that you can trust that you're not going to beat yourself up about it.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_00: You can trust that you will hold yourself accountable and you will give yourself grace.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_00: So there is a bit of nuance here to this and a bit of practice that does have to come with this.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_00: And more often than not, I find it's our younger parts inside, those little ones that we really need to build the trust with.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_00: And so now, when the void comes, again, I know it will.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_00: I can't say I'm looking forward to it, but it will.