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9: 7 Keys to Habit Change: Make Good Habits Stick and Break Old Patterns · The Everyday Awesome Project

• 0:22
  Polly Mertens: Hey Superstars, welcome back Polly here.
• 0:32
  Samantha Pruitt: Today we are talking about habits, and we're talking about habits because we talked about transformation and change in a prior episode, so everybody check out a prior episode when you're done listening to this.
• 0:45
  Samantha Pruitt: And we had a ton of response on the small sea versus the big sea and people really needed some more specifics.
• 0:54
  Samantha Pruitt: So we decided today to pivot off the small sea and you can talk about what that means specifically, so people don't think we're speaking in a foreign tongue right now.
• 1:04
  Polly Mertens: And small sea is small change, big change, Kind of like people refer to as like little T trauma, big T trauma.
• 1:09
  Polly Mertens: Just in case you haven't heard that before, Because our little way of talking about, you know, little changes, habits being little changes, big sea being more of an identity change.
• 1:19
  Samantha Pruitt: Yeah, exactly, exactly so habits.
• 1:21
  Samantha Pruitt: So let's just go ahead and dig in, because we have a lot to talk about today.
• 1:25
  Samantha Pruitt: This is a complex topic and we want to make it as simple as possible so people can move forward with actionable steps today.
• 1:33
  Polly Mertens: Heck, yeah, we got seven tips, seven strategies to create or break habits.
• 1:37
  Polly Mertens: So we'll get into that.
• 1:38
  Polly Mertens: So let me start with, like, what are habits?
• 1:40
  Polly Mertens: Or my definition, if you will.
• 1:42
  Polly Mertens: And this isn't like something I'm going to read, I'm just going to give you off the cuff.
• 1:45
  Polly Mertens: But you know, habits are those things that we do eventually, unconsciously.
• 1:51
  Polly Mertens: So there's the conscious unconscious.
• 1:52
  Polly Mertens: It's like you know how to tie your shoes.
• 1:54
  Polly Mertens: You don't have to think about it every time.
• 1:56
  Polly Mertens: You know you drive to the grocery store.
• 1:58
  Polly Mertens: Sometimes you get there and you're like oh, I don't remember how I got here.
• 2:01
  Polly Mertens: You know, like you drive a car, like you don't have to relearn how to drive a car.
• 2:05
  Polly Mertens: So habits are those things that are typically behaviors, activities.
• 2:09
  Polly Mertens: Some might call them routines or rituals, but those are a little bit separate.
• 2:13
  Polly Mertens: But let's keep it as the tasks or the activities that we do automatically.
• 2:19
  Samantha Pruitt: Okay, and why do habits matter?
• 2:22
  Polly Mertens: Well, this is kind of a biggie, but I would say your habits form who you become Right.
• 2:30
  Polly Mertens: So you know, we talked about this before we started recording and it's like it's a vote for who you're becoming, or vote for who you are Right.
• 2:39
  Samantha Pruitt: So and that's exactly.
• 2:41
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, and those little C's, like the little changes, the little habits, make up the bigger C, the identity, if you will.
• 2:46
  Polly Mertens: So you know, little C's, little changes, little habits can create who you are in the world, you know, and if you like that or don't like that, and I think that's where people often want to change a habit, because they don't like who they're becoming or the results that they're getting Right, like their, their waistline is growing or their bank account is shrinking, or their relationship is going downhill or or or right, and so they look to make changes in their habits.
• 3:12
  Polly Mertens: They're tired all the time.
• 3:13
  Polly Mertens: You know they're, you know there you go.
• 3:16
  Samantha Pruitt: My favorite is that one and it really when I did some personal journey on this type of stuff and making some habit changes and the idea of each of those actions, habits, being a vote for who I want to be, was absolutely mind blowing and completely changed my perspective about making these shifts and doing the work, investing the time, energy into habit change.
• 3:44
  Samantha Pruitt: So thanks for bringing that one up.
• 3:46
  Samantha Pruitt: That's my favorite.
• 3:46
  Samantha Pruitt: It's a vote for who you want to be, yeah.
• 3:50
  Polly Mertens: And it's like you know, when we look at our life or the trajectory of you, know our self through time, our identity or, like you know, do you want to be eventually a you know, a philanthropist or a business owner, or a great mom, or whatever it is right.
• 4:05
  Polly Mertens: Those little tiny votes, those little tiny daily tasks, you know.
• 4:10
  Polly Mertens: Do you want to have good hygiene?
• 4:11
  Polly Mertens: Do you want to have teeth?
• 4:12
  Polly Mertens: That last, you know.
• 4:13
  Polly Mertens: Whatever you know, or do you want, you know, to be in good shape.
• 4:16
  Polly Mertens: You know those bigger outcomes that we want.
• 4:19
  Polly Mertens: They're built on the foundation, like you said, as the votes and the commitment that we have to the little things, the habits that we bring into our life each day or we take out right.
• 4:28
  Polly Mertens: The things that we do and we stop doing so.
• 4:30
  Samantha Pruitt: I want to touch real quick.
• 4:32
  Samantha Pruitt: Just ask you your opinion on this how long does it take Polly to adopt a new habit?
• 4:37
  Samantha Pruitt: Everybody asks this all the time and I think it's very entertaining because the answer is Well, there is.
• 4:43
  Polly Mertens: I don't think there's any one answer.
• 4:45
  Polly Mertens: Yeah.
• 4:45
  Polly Mertens: So the evidence, the research on this has grown over the arc of time.
• 4:50
  Polly Mertens: So I just want to drop the name of two books.
• 4:52
  Polly Mertens: I thought about this yesterday when I was preparing for this.
• 4:55
  Polly Mertens: That I wanted to say because I think they're great.
• 4:58
  Polly Mertens: I mean, there's a lot of books on habits and you know you can go into addiction and whatnot, but on habits, one of my favorite books, from original I think a lot of people quote him and use him as Charles Duhigg and that's the story of habits.
• 5:12
  Polly Mertens: Oh gosh, you know what?
• 5:13
  Polly Mertens: I forgot the title.
• 5:15
  Samantha Pruitt: We can put it in the show notes the power of habits.
• 5:18
  Polly Mertens: The power of habit, charles Duhigg, d-u-h-i-g-g and the most popular one these days.
• 5:23
  Polly Mertens: That, I think was a great revision and updated some things is Atomic Habits by James Clear.
• 5:29
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, that's a good one.
• 5:31
  Samantha Pruitt: Super fan of that one yeah.
• 5:33
  Polly Mertens: And there's more, but those are two biggies that I think, if anybody wants you know out of this, they want to go deeper.
• 5:37
  Polly Mertens: I would recommend those two as a great start for this.
• 5:40
  Polly Mertens: So I forgot your question.
• 5:44
  Polly Mertens: Wait, was I on track with your question?
• 5:46
  Samantha Pruitt: Yeah, we basically debunked the whole concept that there was a timeframe.
• 5:49
  Samantha Pruitt: If you just did 30 days, 60 days, whatever, there's all this like quick fix stuff out in the media, as usual as there is for everything.
• 5:58
  Samantha Pruitt: Hacks, yeah, hacks.
• 5:59
  Samantha Pruitt: Every person is so individual, every circumstance is incredibly individual and every moment of your experience, your environment, all the influences, it's so individualized.
• 6:12
  Samantha Pruitt: There's no possible answer to that question.
• 6:16
  Samantha Pruitt: Yeah, I would say, get stuck on it.
• 6:18
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, on the whole, you know a lot of people.
• 6:20
  Polly Mertens: I remember when I was first doing a lot of coaching around habits and addiction and success and you know, whatever retraining your mind, 21 days was like the thing that was thrown around and I would say I think that was people looking for a quick fix.
• 6:33
  Polly Mertens: I think that's not true.
• 6:34
  Polly Mertens: I think 21 days is hopeful, 30 days possible, that's you know.
• 6:39
  Polly Mertens: I think you quoted the number before we started recording about 66.
• 6:43
  Polly Mertens: I find I've done 75 day things in twice last year and I would say 60 or more is good.
• 6:51
  Polly Mertens: 75 or more is almost like you forget that thing, like you just forget that old behavior, if you will, which is great, or you are doing the new one so repetitively like it's now a part of you.
• 7:02
  Polly Mertens: So I think you know.
• 7:03
  Polly Mertens: If you're going to do it, I would say do it for 75 or more and you'll probably get there.
• 7:07
  Polly Mertens: Now the alternative, what you were alluding to is you know it's different for everyone when a story I often see is if you run into enough pain, you will change in a moment.
• 7:20
  Polly Mertens: Okay, right, so people-.
• 7:23
  Samantha Pruitt: What's an example of that?
• 7:24
  Polly Mertens: So if you get a DUI or you end up in the hospital or someone leaves you, your relationship Shock therapy yeah, like whoa, you know people can really change in a moment.
• 7:40
  Polly Mertens: That's what we call kind of like an external reinforcement of the pain, or something can change you.
• 7:46
  Polly Mertens: So that's where you know it doesn't have to take 75 days for something to change.
• 7:51
  Polly Mertens: That's more so when there's not a lot of resistance and I don't want to do this or whatever.
• 7:55
  Polly Mertens: But if you've got something that externally kind of makes that decision for you, yeah you can change faster.
• 8:02
  Samantha Pruitt: Okay, and I would just say, if you're hearing this and you're like, well, that's a long time and I don't have the patience or whatever it is, what an insane story to tell yourself that when this is your one precious life, with how many days and how many years left in it, and are you worth it So-.
• 8:21
  Polly Mertens: And people underestimate.
• 8:22
  Polly Mertens: You know what they can do and how much they can overcome or who they could become if they really discussed to it.
• 8:27
  Polly Mertens: So one of you know, as we dive into the seven strategies you know to create or break a habit.
• 8:32
  Polly Mertens: I think the most important thing and we'll reiterate this is as I look at the ways that I've done this in big Cs and little Cs is I think it starts with creating a rule, or, let's say, a promise.
• 8:47
  Polly Mertens: If you don't like the word rule, use promise.
• 8:49
  Polly Mertens: So anytime I say rule, replace it with promise, if that feels better for you, okay.
• 8:52
  Polly Mertens: So creating a new rule for yourself.
• 8:54
  Polly Mertens: If you start with that as the essence, then that can guide the habit that you create or break.
• 9:00
  Polly Mertens: So you know if the rule is, you know, like I did, 75 hard and part of it for you know if you follow there's is no alcohol, no sugar, you know, and number of things right, or you have to do outside exercise.
• 9:14
  Polly Mertens: So if you make a clear rule, ie a decision, and you commit to that we've talked about this in other episodes the decide, commit and resolve those three.
• 9:23
  Polly Mertens: That's your power right there.
• 9:25
  Polly Mertens: So if you want a habit, that is, for example, I want to meditate every day, or I want to wake up at 5 am every day, or I want to run three times a week, or whatever.
• 9:35
  Polly Mertens: Make the rule, get clear on it and then commit to it and then resolve that that's it right, and in my life it's been.
• 9:44
  Polly Mertens: You know, one of my rules that became an identity shift was you know, eating animals, right, so you know in a moment.
• 9:50
  Polly Mertens: Or bulimia, stopping bulimia, the addiction I had right.
• 9:53
  Polly Mertens: So before that, my identity, the tasks, you know the eating, you know bulimia is literally like if you stop putting that thing in your mouth.
• 10:00
  Polly Mertens: Or alcohol is like you stop.
• 10:02
  Polly Mertens: Or smoking, like if you just don't put cigarettes in your mouth, you stop smoking.
• 10:07
  Polly Mertens: It's that easy, it sounds that easy, right?
• 10:10
  Polly Mertens: It?
• 10:11
  Samantha Pruitt: only works Right, right.
• 10:13
  Samantha Pruitt: So that's the big.
• 10:14
  Samantha Pruitt: But a rule.
• 10:15
  Samantha Pruitt: So take one of those and tell me what you mean.
• 10:18
  Samantha Pruitt: So I want to stop drinking.
• 10:22
  Polly Mertens: My rule would be, and that's for individual right, so it depends on what you're trying to create for yourself.
• 10:28
  Polly Mertens: Or I want to drink less alcohol, let's say that, yeah, and sometimes you might need a bridge, you know.
• 10:34
  Polly Mertens: So I've had times in my life where maybe I was drinking two glasses of wine a night.
• 10:38
  Polly Mertens: Right, you know, we build up those patterns and behaviors.
• 10:43
  Polly Mertens: Eventually, we don't like that.
• 10:44
  Samantha Pruitt: That was a pandemic moment, I swear.
• 10:49
  Polly Mertens: Hello, razor, and if you fell into that, right, yeah, however, so, and maybe you need a date, right.
• 10:58
  Polly Mertens: So some people are, you know, like I've done that with smoking, I've done that with drinks, you know things like that.
• 11:03
  Polly Mertens: It's like you just set a date or you can create a timeline where it slowly trickles out right, where you replace it.
• 11:09
  Polly Mertens: So, but committing it to yourself, like what is your rule?
• 11:13
  Polly Mertens: Like I have a friend who has a rule I don't drink at home, but I drink out socially.
• 11:16
  Polly Mertens: Okay, got it Like she doesn't want to never drink, just doesn't want to like drinking at home.
• 11:22
  Polly Mertens: Don't bring it in the house.
• 11:23
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, yeah, so the rule is up to you.
• 11:26
  Polly Mertens: But again, it's a vote for the identity of who you want to become right.
• 11:31
  Polly Mertens: And that's that moment of evaluating what is it in my life?
• 11:36
  Polly Mertens: Who am I becoming, you know?
• 11:37
  Polly Mertens: Am I a person who eats gluten, doesn't eat gluten, eats meat, doesn't eat meat, exercises daily, doesn't exercise ever?
• 11:45
  Polly Mertens: You know, whatever it is, so start with the rule or the promise to yourself, and then that let that be the foundation for the habit.
• 11:52
  Polly Mertens: So, okay.
• 11:54
  Samantha Pruitt: And that's step number one I strategy number one.
• 11:58
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, well, it's not.
• 11:59
  Polly Mertens: It's just like that's the foundation for all these strategies and like little tips and ways of helping habits get reinforced or breaking them.
• 12:06
  Polly Mertens: Or you know the process of habits, let's call it and James Clear in his book he talks a lot about you know, people focus too much on the outcome or the result and not enough on the process.
• 12:16
  Polly Mertens: So I think, but if you have a foundation of your habit as a rule, like something you can say, you know, like we were talking earlier this week, I have a client who approached me and he used the word try a lot.
• 12:30
  Polly Mertens: Well, I try to exercise or I try to go to the gym this many days a week, and it's like, well, you do or you don't.
• 12:37
  Samantha Pruitt: I try to eat healthy.
• 12:38
  Samantha Pruitt: However, I try not to go to the drive-thru.
• 12:42
  Polly Mertens: Well, what is the car just driving?
• 12:43
  Samantha Pruitt: by.
• 12:43
  Samantha Pruitt: It's like no, sometimes oh no.
• 12:48
  Polly Mertens: Well, that's the old habit, right, you know it's on autopilot yeah so it's replacing it.
• 12:52
  Polly Mertens: So start with the rule or the promise and then build the habit from there and then the reinforcing.
• 12:56
  Polly Mertens: So all these strategies will go into that.
• 12:58
  Polly Mertens: So some of these come from James Clear, some of these come from my experience.
• 13:03
  Polly Mertens: What have you?
• 13:04
  Polly Mertens: So, in no particular order, one, I would say make it obvious, make it easy, make it attractive and satisfying.
• 13:11
  Polly Mertens: That's how James talks about it.
• 13:14
  Polly Mertens: I don't think you can do that for all of them because, like, for example, I'm training for Ironman, so that's super attractive to get out and go and bike in the freezing cold rain.
• 13:24
  Polly Mertens: You know things like that.
• 13:26
  Polly Mertens: But what is attractive, one of the things I do like is the outcome.
• 13:30
  Polly Mertens: So I focus on the outcome that I want.
• 13:32
  Polly Mertens: It's like I see myself each day at the finish line of that damn race and I'm like get on that damn bike, because you're never gonna get to that thing right.
• 13:39
  Polly Mertens: So if I wanna see myself there, you know, get on the damn bike, exactly exactly.
• 13:44
  Samantha Pruitt: Or an example of eating healthy is I've made a rule that I'm not going to eat fast food.
• 13:51
  Samantha Pruitt: This is one of my rules, by the way.
• 13:52
  Samantha Pruitt: So I've made a rule that I don't eat fast food, so I literally don't go into those places I spend zero of my dollars in those places.
• 14:02
  Samantha Pruitt: So that's a rule that I have.
• 14:03
  Samantha Pruitt: I made that rule and then a strategy to uphold that rule would be can you just talk about what you just reiterated so we can make sense of that and kind of unpack it for someone?
• 14:16
  Polly Mertens: Yeah.
• 14:16
  Polly Mertens: So I think the you know make it obvious, okay, you know.
• 14:21
  Polly Mertens: So I'll just focus on one part of that four parts that he talks about.
• 14:25
  Polly Mertens: So you know, obvious needs to be in our environment, right.
• 14:31
  Polly Mertens: So setting reminders, post-it notes, things that help us reinforce that, you know, you open your journal and it's right there, or whatever.
• 14:39
  Polly Mertens: Or some people need like glaring signs on their bathroom mirror or the refrigerator or whatever.
• 14:45
  Polly Mertens: It is right.
• 14:45
  Polly Mertens: So in the book, one of the examples James gave as he wanted to play guitar, right, so he had a guitar that was in the hall closet and he'd come home and he'd sit on his chair and watch television instead of playing guitar.
• 14:58
  Polly Mertens: Why is it in the closet?
• 15:00
  Polly Mertens: Exactly?
• 15:01
  Polly Mertens: He's like put the damn thing by the chair and you're more, you know.
• 15:05
  Samantha Pruitt: Okay, okay.
• 15:07
  Polly Mertens: It's amazing.
• 15:07
  Polly Mertens: I mean, there's so much studies around little things that we can remove hurdles.
• 15:12
  Polly Mertens: Yes, like you talk about you know you put your clothes out the night before.
• 15:17
  Samantha Pruitt: For the gym or the workout.
• 15:20
  Polly Mertens: Make it obvious when you get up in the morning.
• 15:21
  Polly Mertens: Oh yeah, I'm going to the gym today.
• 15:23
  Samantha Pruitt: Or when I walk into my kitchen, kind of going back to my food commitments.
• 15:27
  Samantha Pruitt: I've made a lot of shifts in my nutrition.
• 15:28
  Samantha Pruitt: I always have a bowl of fruit Right there and vegetables for that matter sitting on the counter literally.
• 15:36
  Polly Mertens: Screaming at you.
• 15:37
  Samantha Pruitt: It used to be these are gonna go bad.
• 15:38
  Samantha Pruitt: I mean, I walk by them like a thousand times a day, where it used to be.
• 15:42
  Samantha Pruitt: I'd have some and they'd be in my fridge, in the bottom of the refrigerator, in a drawer, maybe wrapped in a container of some sort, like what the hell?
• 15:50
  Samantha Pruitt: I don't even know they're in there, mm-hmm.
• 15:52
  Samantha Pruitt: You know, if they, I see them and they are visually appealing, then I will.
• 15:58
  Samantha Pruitt: One of my commitments is to eat a certain amount of fruit and vegetables a day.
• 16:02
  Samantha Pruitt: Right, so it makes it easier, it makes it obvious.
• 16:05
  Samantha Pruitt: So that's what you're saying.
• 16:05
  Polly Mertens: That's a good example there, okay, I like that and you'd be a.
• 16:08
  Polly Mertens: I just call it resistances.
• 16:10
  Samantha Pruitt: You know so Friction.
• 16:11
  Polly Mertens: Like any friction that can get in the way.
• 16:13
  Polly Mertens: So if you need five, you know, if you're, if you're fine, that like, oh, I need five reminders a day to do this thing, we'll set the damn reminders, you know Like to get yourself to initiate that you.
• 16:22
  Polly Mertens: You put it out on.
• 16:23
  Polly Mertens: You know the more out in front of you it can be, whether it's you know you walk into the bathroom and your floss is.
• 16:30
  Polly Mertens: You never put the floss away, you always leave the floss on the counter.
• 16:34
  Polly Mertens: You're more likely to floss.
• 16:36
  Samantha Pruitt: Yeah, you're gonna drink water and you wanna drink eight glasses a day, or half your body weight in ounces a day, which is what I prescribed.
• 16:42
  Samantha Pruitt: So it would be everywhere I go.
• 16:44
  Samantha Pruitt: Yeah, I'm at this desk now.
• 16:46
  Samantha Pruitt: I might work at my standing desk later in a whole other room.
• 16:49
  Samantha Pruitt: I get in my car.
• 16:50
  Samantha Pruitt: I have water.
• 16:51
  Samantha Pruitt: I go to the gym.
• 16:52
  Samantha Pruitt: My gym bag has water.
• 16:53
  Samantha Pruitt: Right, it's with me all the time, because that's the only way I can make that commitment, have that habit development, have less friction For sure.
• 17:02
  Polly Mertens: Okay.
• 17:02
  Polly Mertens: So looking at ways of creating friction, if you're trying to break it, like so putting you know so like, don't bring, don't put that food in the house, Don't put the alcohol in the house, you know, don't drive that direction.
• 17:12
  Samantha Pruitt: If you go buy McDonald's every day, yeah, Don't go buy it, Like you know things like that, or don't buy it for your children and then wonder why you're eating their french fries.
• 17:20
  Samantha Pruitt: Because you can why, is it in your car?
• 17:24
  Samantha Pruitt: Whoops, yeah, so make it obvious, easy, attractive, satisfying.
• 17:28
  Polly Mertens: Those are his and set reminders.
• 17:29
  Polly Mertens: Next one, second one is tie it to another habit or routine you already have.
• 17:35
  Samantha Pruitt: Yes, I love this, I love routines.
• 17:37
  Polly Mertens: We'll just keep it simple, you know so, like flossing and brushing your teeth, right?
• 17:42
  Polly Mertens: Drinking water yeah, I don't know right.
• 17:45
  Polly Mertens: So you know if you want to get in.
• 17:46
  Polly Mertens: So, putting water, we're something that you do every day.
• 17:50
  Polly Mertens: You make coffee or you go get coffee every day, both, yeah yeah, I have rituals, right, right, so something you're already doing, so that works for some habits doesn't work for all, okay, but just know that if you can tie it to something you're already doing, okay, it's much more likely to happen, right, because you've got that built in automatic, you know.
• 18:11
  Polly Mertens: Going on.
• 18:12
  Samantha Pruitt: I have a good example of that.
• 18:13
  Samantha Pruitt: I changed my sports nutrition, one of the many things that I've been working on for my own sports performance and overall health as a menopausal and postmenopausal female, and so now my morning coffee ritual was always there and very specific, but now I want to fuel before and during my workouts, so I now have my sports nutrition sitting right there.
• 18:36
  Samantha Pruitt: Next on the same counter.
• 18:38
  Samantha Pruitt: Right next to this coffee pot, is all of my sports nutrition that I'm utilizing, and so those two things now happen together simultaneously.
• 18:48
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, and there you go, Make it obvious, make it easy.
• 18:50
  Polly Mertens: It's not like you have to go hunting for it or whatnot and it's like oh, I'm reaching for coffee.
• 18:55
  Polly Mertens: Oh yeah, it's right there.
• 18:57
  Polly Mertens: Right, it's the reminder.
• 18:58
  Polly Mertens: So that doesn't always work for everything, but if you have another habit that you can stack it with or attach it to, much more likely.
• 19:05
  Polly Mertens: So number three and this is huge People really, and I'll give you the story that I often tell clients who are trying to make big changes in their life, like a big identity shift, if you will.
• 19:18
  Polly Mertens: So I've remodeled a lot of houses in my lifetime.
• 19:22
  Samantha Pruitt: Yes, you have.
• 19:24
  Polly Mertens: You know what I'm going to say.
• 19:25
  Polly Mertens: Luckily, I've only remodeled some houses that I've been in, but I've remodeled a lot of houses that I haven't been in.
• 19:30
  Polly Mertens: And if you can imagine so, when people come to me and we try and do a major overall in life, right, so if they look at their whole life wheel, let's say so how's your physical health?
• 19:43
  Polly Mertens: How's your career?
• 19:44
  Polly Mertens: How are your finances?
• 19:45
  Polly Mertens: How are your relationships?
• 19:46
  Polly Mertens: Whatever they might go, everything's not.
• 19:48
  Polly Mertens: They might have more than one.
• 19:49
  Polly Mertens: That's what they tell us.
• 19:50
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, they may have more than one area that they want to make a change.
• 19:54
  Polly Mertens: I liken it to the story I tell is your life is like your house as you live in it.
• 20:00
  Polly Mertens: You have different rooms, right, and they may be in varying degrees of order disorder, attractiveness, unattractive, usability, unusability.
• 20:09
  Polly Mertens: And so let's say you say, oh my God, I want to overhaul my whole life.
• 20:13
  Polly Mertens: I want to remodel the whole house, if anybody's ever remodeled a house that you live in.
• 20:18
  Polly Mertens: You take out that kitchen brutal, starts to get hard.
• 20:22
  Polly Mertens: You take out the two bathrooms no kitchen bathrooms.
• 20:25
  Polly Mertens: Oh my God, you can't.
• 20:26
  Polly Mertens: You know, the bedroom smells like paint, whatever you know, overhauling the whole house at the same time is hard on the occupants.
• 20:32
  Polly Mertens: Start with one room at a time, right.
• 20:36
  Polly Mertens: So and the same applies to when you're creating habits is start smaller than you think it needs to be.
• 20:41
  Polly Mertens: Like in James Clair's book he talks about like just the act of starting to put your clothes on.
• 20:47
  Polly Mertens: Like for some people it's like putting your clothes on to go to the gym Even if you don't go.
• 20:52
  Polly Mertens: It's like start with that, just start with.
• 20:54
  Polly Mertens: Like three times a week.
• 20:55
  Polly Mertens: You're gonna do that Surprisingly guess what, once you have your clothes on, then you're gonna go.
• 20:58
  Polly Mertens: You know you're more likely to go.
• 21:00
  Polly Mertens: But start small.
• 21:01
  Polly Mertens: So if it's a habit that, like I want to meditate you know an hour a day.
• 21:05
  Polly Mertens: I want to run you know a half marathon, I want to you know something that seems quite large.
• 21:11
  Polly Mertens: Or I want to be able to run an hour a day or go to the gym, I it feels like counterintuitive.
• 21:17
  Polly Mertens: Like, but I want to run an hour a day, I should just block it out and go.
• 21:20
  Polly Mertens: If you don't already have that time blocked, inserting that into a full life is.
• 21:27
  Polly Mertens: It creates a lot of change too fast.
• 21:30
  Polly Mertens: So start small.
• 21:32
  Polly Mertens: Start it with five minutes a day, grow it to 10 minutes after a week and grow it to 20.
• 21:37
  Polly Mertens: So build the habit, build that routine, build that action activity over time, but start with a small version of it.
• 21:45
  Samantha Pruitt: I think of it like investing right, except self-investing people investing in themselves right, and if you want to save a certain amount of money and get your financial goals met at a certain point, you wouldn't make expectations on yourself that you would drop that million dollars in day one or run the 26 mile marathon day one or whatever.
• 22:06
  Samantha Pruitt: Fill in the blanks, you know, on day one it would be an impossible feat.
• 22:10
  Samantha Pruitt: You're basically setting yourself up for failure and a lot of people that I have worked with have this pendulum sort of mindset.
• 22:17
  Samantha Pruitt: Where it is all or nothing.
• 22:19
  Polly Mertens: I'm either doing nothing, sitting on the sofa doing nothing, making no money and being miserable, or I'm way over here and I'm doing all of those things and I have to do them all perfectly the first week, or I failed, and if you have, a yeah, yes, yeah, january 17th, the day for quitters, you know, all the years, resolutions go away, right, it's like because of that pendulum swing, because they said, oh, I'm gonna get up and go to the gym five days a week, you know, an hour a day.
• 22:45
  Polly Mertens: And it's such, if that was not happening, if none of that was happening not the gym, not the five days a week and not an hour a day it's so unlikely to be sustainable.
• 22:56
  Polly Mertens: So, start smaller, just say I'm gonna go to the gym and walk in the treadmill for five minutes every day for five days and you accomplish that.
• 23:04
  Polly Mertens: Boom, grow it to 10, you know, go from there, exactly, exactly.
• 23:08
  Polly Mertens: Okay, next step.
• 23:09
  Polly Mertens: And then you kind of hit on this the way I say.
• 23:12
  Polly Mertens: It is like do it imperfectly, allow yourself to do it imperfectly for a while, right, like give yourself or forever.
• 23:19
  Samantha Pruitt: Because we're so messy.
• 23:20
  Samantha Pruitt: I mean, our lives are so imperfect and they're hilarious.
• 23:25
  Samantha Pruitt: That's why we laugh all the time.
• 23:26
  Samantha Pruitt: They are hilarious literally.
• 23:28
  Samantha Pruitt: But we're humans having a human experience, and this whole idea that there is one way, a perfect way, to do anything is ludicrous.
• 23:36
  Samantha Pruitt: Why would we even put that in our brains?
• 23:40
  Polly Mertens: I think it leans towards what your rule is right.
• 23:43
  Polly Mertens: So let's say with food.
• 23:45
  Polly Mertens: So one of my rules, or my philosophies, if you will, is like 90-10.
• 23:49
  Polly Mertens: So 90% of the time what goes in this temple is totally.
• 23:54
  Samantha Pruitt: Quality.
• 23:55
  Polly Mertens: High quality, all this stuff, blah, blah, blah.
• 23:59
  Polly Mertens: 10% of the time I eat cake I don't like a cake, but you know you like a high quality piece of chocolate, I like a high quality piece of chocolate.
• 24:08
  Polly Mertens: You get me in front of a fricking apple pie or a chip berry pie Like goodness it's going down right, because I don't think there.
• 24:17
  Polly Mertens: I don't believe in those extremes either, exactly.
• 24:20
  Polly Mertens: But I set myself up for that.
• 24:22
  Polly Mertens: I have a 90-10 rule.
• 24:24
  Polly Mertens: I don't have 100% rule, mm-hmm.
• 24:26
  Samantha Pruitt: Right.
• 24:27
  Polly Mertens: And I live by the 90-10.
• 24:28
  Polly Mertens: So 90% of the time, maybe 95% of the time, it's quality and that fuels me, that feels good, that supports the lifestyle that I want, that supports the body, the outcome that I'm looking for, and 5%, okay, or 10%, you know.
• 24:42
  Samantha Pruitt: So creating that rule.
• 24:43
  Samantha Pruitt: An example for me would be that I do exercise daily, but I do have a variety of things, as most people have gotten to know me, and so it isn't that every day I have to do this rigid training program.
• 24:56
  Samantha Pruitt: That is very specific and I did do that for years and it was very challenging psychologically and ultimately wasn't in my physical best interest either.
• 25:05
  Samantha Pruitt: So I learned a lot about myself in that process and especially working with others and seeing their behaviors and trying to help facilitate change in their lives.
• 25:11
  Samantha Pruitt: So now it's a matter of what do I feel like doing today?
• 25:15
  Samantha Pruitt: So I have a menu of things.
• 25:17
  Samantha Pruitt: So the commitment, the rule, the promise to myself is physical movement, but what that looks like today could be five different opportunities for me off the menu, whatever.
• 25:29
  Polly Mertens: And that's what's workable in your life, right.
• 25:32
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, Like you can take you can enjoyful.
• 25:34
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, you can take that anywhere.
• 25:37
  Polly Mertens: Right, and I think people define their rule or their promise to themselves too rigidly or too stringently, Like I find, like I said, talked about that five, do you go from zero to a marathon?
• 25:51
  Polly Mertens: The mind, the body, the emotional body reject it.
• 25:55
  Polly Mertens: It's like feels like punishment.
• 25:57
  Polly Mertens: Exactly, and that's the last thing we want, Because we're not going to sustain that right and it's also.
• 26:05
  Samantha Pruitt: It's not a punishment.
• 26:06
  Samantha Pruitt: It is literally making the quality of your brain, body, your life better.
• 26:13
  Samantha Pruitt: There's nothing about that.
• 26:14
  Samantha Pruitt: That's a punishment.
• 26:16
  Polly Mertens: So what goes with doing it imperfectly, I just want to say is expect.
• 26:20
  Polly Mertens: So if you look at the arc of how habits change, the first phase of it is actually usually a dip right, Kind of like when you go to the gym, you actually break down your muscles before you build them.
• 26:30
  Polly Mertens: Like in the gym, you're tearing down muscles so that the body rebuilds right, and so there's a little bit of that kind of a curve with habits.
• 26:38
  Polly Mertens: You mean discomfort?
• 26:39
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, I was just going to say expect to feel uncomfortable for a little while.
• 26:44
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, it's going to feel awkward, it's going to feel uncomfortable that you're going to face Dorky.
• 26:51
  Polly Mertens: Some resistance.
• 26:52
  Polly Mertens: It's kind of messy in the middle.
• 26:54
  Polly Mertens: You know you're figuring it out.
• 26:56
  Polly Mertens: You're like what works for me, whatever?
• 26:57
  Polly Mertens: Maybe you need to go back to that rule or that promise and edit so that it does fit, so that the goal that you actually want like you want a healthy lifestyle or you want a loving marriage right, or you want financial freedom, right Like, go back to those things and edit so that it's doable for you and your lifestyle and your context, if you will.
• 27:18
  Samantha Pruitt: So and I would add that messy part, the uncomfortable part, that is, you feel dorky, things hurt, whatever.
• 27:25
  Samantha Pruitt: That's the best part, because that is the sweet sauce, which is literally growth.
• 27:32
  Samantha Pruitt: Yeah, so if it were like I just waltzed on in to crossfit and I'd never done it before and all of a sudden I was like, well, this is easy, I'm freaking crushing it, I mean there's I'm not really growing there physically or Mentally, emotionally in any way, shape or four, I'm just checking it off the list.
• 27:49
  Samantha Pruitt: So I missed the whole sweet sauce of this growth piece that's so critical to being the best human you can be over this lifetime.
• 27:57
  Polly Mertens: Mm-hmm, I mean you liken it to.
• 27:59
  Polly Mertens: You know we naturally walk now as adults, but when we were under two years old, none of us walked right.
• 28:07
  Polly Mertens: We bought, we fell down, we were crawling.
• 28:10
  Polly Mertens: I mean like it was embarrassing if we were adults thinking about it.
• 28:13
  Polly Mertens: But we learn we, we push through the discomfort, the following you know there was no embarrassment, of course, yeah, I hope not.
• 28:19
  Polly Mertens: But yeah, we look at it as like I'm a child again, like of course I'm not going to do it perfectly in the beginning.
• 28:26
  Polly Mertens: It's gonna be awkward, I'm gonna fall down a little bit, you know, and it's like see it through through the 75 days, see it through 68, whatever your, your time period is to create that lifetime of walking right.
• 28:39
  Polly Mertens: So yeah, if you're gonna be a walker, you're gonna fall down a few times, so, and then this goes a little bit to that rule and that promise with yourself.
• 28:48
  Polly Mertens: The next one is get accountability, mmm-hmm.
• 28:51
  Polly Mertens: So, you know, world is huge.
• 28:55
  Polly Mertens: It is you know, I mean what it shows or what it signals.
• 28:58
  Polly Mertens: A little bit of this is goes around the word leverage, right, so it's getting leverage on ourself.
• 29:02
  Polly Mertens: How do we get leverage to get ourself to do that when it's uncomfortable, right, when no one's watching, or when it's awkward, or when it's cold out, or when you know you don't want to have those Uncomfortable conversations, but you know you need to tell something.
• 29:17
  Polly Mertens: You know speak up, or you know talk about something.
• 29:19
  Polly Mertens: It's, it's, it's get accountability to someone else other than yourself, you know.
• 29:24
  Polly Mertens: So, like for me, when I was wanting to do some higher level sales, I said, you know, I'm gonna write a check.
• 29:31
  Polly Mertens: So I had an accountability group and I said, alright, if I don't make these phone calls on these dates and these times, I'm gonna write a hundred dollar check to the opposing political party, like.
• 29:39
  Polly Mertens: And that's like Like talking about a vote for something.
• 29:42
  Polly Mertens: It is horrible.
• 29:43
  Polly Mertens: I was like, alright, by these dates and these times, you know this stuff, wow, happen, right.
• 29:48
  Polly Mertens: So that's one example of leverage.
• 29:49
  Samantha Pruitt: And I mean you probably have examples either with your clients or yourself where Accountable so much in my life, my experience has been around the environments that we're in, so a big challenge or possible, you know, thing to leverage so it can go either way, but you need to look at this honestly is the friends and family dynamic with making habit change and lifestyle change.
• 30:14
  Samantha Pruitt: So a lot of people use the excuses that their friends or their family or their partner or whatever they don't do these healthy behaviors.
• 30:24
  Samantha Pruitt: So therefore it's impossible for me to really adopt them.
• 30:27
  Samantha Pruitt: And I've tried, you know that whole.
• 30:28
  Samantha Pruitt: I tried, I try to try, but my husband this, my kids that and whatever.
• 30:33
  Samantha Pruitt: So you have to be honest about that and say you're not really making a commitment, a promise to yourself.
• 30:41
  Samantha Pruitt: If something outside of your, your own power and decision is what's determining your fate, so to speak.
• 30:50
  Samantha Pruitt: If you're letting what your kids want to eat or your husband Wants to eat, or what your friends like to do on Friday nights, which is probably go to the bar and drinking, if you're letting those determine your vote for who you want to be, that's quite alarming if you think about that, by the way.
• 31:04
  Samantha Pruitt: Yeah, so that consider that.
• 31:05
  Samantha Pruitt: But then the opposite how to leverage, that is, create Relationships with people who share the same value set and if you say specifically, I'd like to become a vegetarian or being more athletic, try to raffle on Ironman.
• 31:20
  Samantha Pruitt: You go find those people and those environments where they hang out, where that is completely the normal experience.
• 31:26
  Samantha Pruitt: My everyday experience now, all these years later, literally 25 years later, is that, of course, the people in my life that I have sought out and created as friendships and environments to be in are athletes yeah, crossfit athletes, triathletes, swimmers, bikers they're all doing outdoor fun things.
• 31:46
  Samantha Pruitt: Those are my people.
• 31:48
  Samantha Pruitt: That's where I hang out a lot of time.
• 31:49
  Samantha Pruitt: That allows me to drop in.
• 31:51
  Samantha Pruitt: Even when I don't feel like doing any of this or being that person, I Naturally am in the space where it is the normal activity and they embrace me and instantly I feel like I belong there.
• 32:05
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, and that's a.
• 32:06
  Polly Mertens: That's a whole other addition to this, yeah, yeah.
• 32:09
  Polly Mertens: So it really reinforces.
• 32:11
  Polly Mertens: But you know, I would say what, what I would, how I would leverage that with the accountability is these are the people that are doing the thing that I want to do.
• 32:18
  Polly Mertens: They're running a triathlon, they're coming to the gym every week, whatever.
• 32:21
  Polly Mertens: So I'm, I'm putting myself, in an environment where I'm accountable to them, where I'm seen.
• 32:25
  Polly Mertens: My activity, my behavior Shows them who I am right, and they can see me and they'll call you out, you know the coaches are.
• 32:35
  Samantha Pruitt: This is what we do all day long.
• 32:37
  Samantha Pruitt: I mean we're coaches, right?
• 32:39
  Polly Mertens: So I mean sometimes people maybe you need to hire it.
• 32:42
  Samantha Pruitt: Yeah, yeah, so I mean if it's, if you don't have it in your friendship wheelhouse or your family wheelhouse, you don't already have that pin ship or that opportunity mentor is great also Get a coach and it can be for anything.
• 32:55
  Samantha Pruitt: It can literally be for anything and it can be in varying degrees of.
• 32:59
  Samantha Pruitt: You know what that looks like.
• 33:00
  Samantha Pruitt: It can be very simple or it can be more complex.
• 33:02
  Samantha Pruitt: Joining a group and having that group like you were talking about having an accountability group is also a great way to do it, you know yeah, just what you're saying reminds me of the story of, like Tiger Woods.
• 33:12
  Polly Mertens: Why does Tiger Woods need a coach?
• 33:14
  Polly Mertens: It's like, yeah, cuz he, he can't see himself swing Right like your coach is there to watch you swing, watch you, you know do it.
• 33:22
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, provide you that feedback, give you that you know those boosts, the fine-tuning and stuff.
• 33:26
  Polly Mertens: But that goes into skill set and stuff like that.
• 33:29
  Polly Mertens: But yeah, so get accountability.
• 33:30
  Polly Mertens: Next one is you know it's, it's reinforce the outcome that you're after, right, and so you know, one of the things that I'm doing for my this was just like my personal example so with the Ironman training that I'm doing right now is I have a picture in my mind that I've done through some meditation and some visualization of my self-crossing, that finish line and like holding that you know that metal in my hand and I tap into that.
• 33:59
  Polly Mertens: I literally, visually whatever you want to call it Metaphysically tap into that outcome.
• 34:04
  Polly Mertens: When I look at the gray day outside, or my muscles are sore or it's early in the morning and you have to get out, that's like, yeah, I want that metal, you know, or whatever, whatever it is.
• 34:15
  Polly Mertens: Or you want to be able to, you know, have a loving relationship and have spark between you and your loved one.
• 34:21
  Polly Mertens: Or you want, you know, money to buy house.
• 34:23
  Polly Mertens: Or you know, whatever your, your goals are, you know, in these little daily habits that you're instilling, can you bring that thing that you know.
• 34:31
  Polly Mertens: Oftentimes People give up because the reward is so far in the future.
• 34:35
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, I taste it, and so it's like reinforcing that reward making, bringing it in To your now to remind you why you're doing the thing now, right, so, whatever the thing you know you healthy is like you want to be fit and have longevity long into your future, like you see yourself, as you know, a healthy person and being active for a long, long time, right, and so that reinforces as you go to the grocery store, as you see the food on your counter, like yeah, this is who you know, like that identity or that thing, that outcome that you want.
• 35:09
  Samantha Pruitt: Well, two things I want to talk about there.
• 35:11
  Samantha Pruitt: One is I know you're a big fan of vision boards, specifically for this reason and Visioning process.
• 35:17
  Samantha Pruitt: I know you do that a lot with your clients and that's basically literally putting it real, tangible pictures etc.
• 35:24
  Samantha Pruitt: Messaging up For the person, the individual, to get clarity and then to put it up every day so they're exposed to it.
• 35:32
  Samantha Pruitt: So it's, if they're not meditating or doing things of that nature, right yeah it's the reminders, the reinforcing right, because sometimes we're working towards an outcome, that's.
• 35:42
  Polly Mertens: That's a bit of ways you know, it could be weeks, months, years away, but that daily, like you said, the vote, that daily voting right.
• 35:50
  Samantha Pruitt: We vote.
• 35:51
  Polly Mertens: So if we can remind ourselves what it is we're voting for, like, oh yeah, you know, if it feels like it's long up, like I mean, if we didn't get a Certificate at the end of or what do you call it diploma at the end of, you know, high school or college or something Like, do you think people will go through four years and I put the cost and the studying?
• 36:10
  Samantha Pruitt: you know, I don't think so I don't think it would happen.
• 36:13
  Samantha Pruitt: That's actually fascinating to think about that.
• 36:14
  Samantha Pruitt: And then I had one other kind of flip side.
• 36:17
  Samantha Pruitt: When you were talking, that came up for me is I Even those long-term projects, if you will like?
• 36:24
  Samantha Pruitt: I had to rebuild my health, which was completely annihilated my mental and physical health and it took years to transform this body and brain, to come back to my possible self, my best self.
• 36:38
  Samantha Pruitt: But the truth of that is, every day, me making these votes for myself and the person I wanted to be, they did feel good, and even physically or psychologically, me knowing that I was making those micro, micro decisions with every single opportunity right, what was I going to eat?
• 37:01
  Samantha Pruitt: How would I sleep today?
• 37:02
  Samantha Pruitt: Would I take care of myself in some kind of movement way?
• 37:05
  Samantha Pruitt: Yeah, those things actually did feel good.
• 37:09
  Samantha Pruitt: There were rewards there.
• 37:11
  Samantha Pruitt: A lot of people would say, well, there really was no reward until you dropped the 50 pounds and you had the new life.
• 37:18
  Samantha Pruitt: That is BS, right, that is BS.
• 37:21
  Samantha Pruitt: And the journey was incredibly difficult, but there were so many little rewards if I paid attention along the way, along the way.
• 37:30
  Samantha Pruitt: I want people to have awareness about that, like pay attention, you know, and really listen to your body and your brain and journal and do things that allow you to take that inventory and you'll see it's really happening.
• 37:41
  Samantha Pruitt: It's there.
• 37:42
  Samantha Pruitt: It's not that far away.
• 37:43
  Polly Mertens: For sure, for sure.
• 37:45
  Polly Mertens: So that's just with.
• 37:46
  Polly Mertens: You know, if the goal or the outcome is far, far off, you know.
• 37:49
  Polly Mertens: So bringing it into your present, if you will.
• 37:51
  Polly Mertens: And then the last one.
• 37:53
  Polly Mertens: So I would say, the seventh strategy is preparation, like what People just think, how it's gonna, we're just winging this life girl, we're just winging this.
• 38:04
  Polly Mertens: So prepare plan like, schedule it right, like not just gonna happen.
• 38:09
  Polly Mertens: So what do you need?
• 38:10
  Polly Mertens: You know you put out your shoes, you make up, you know reservations for your gym time, whatever those things are.
• 38:17
  Polly Mertens: We talked about attaching it to another habit.
• 38:20
  Polly Mertens: We talked about making it small at first.
• 38:23
  Polly Mertens: You got to plan for it, like are you scheduling it in?
• 38:25
  Polly Mertens: Are you allowing time for it?
• 38:27
  Polly Mertens: Do you know?
• 38:28
  Polly Mertens: Do you have what you need for it, you know?
• 38:30
  Polly Mertens: So prepare yourself in advance.
• 38:32
  Polly Mertens: And some people would say prepare for, like, things to go wrong too.
• 38:35
  Polly Mertens: You know like, oh hey, you plan this week's exercise schedule.
• 38:39
  Polly Mertens: Oh well, you're gonna be traveling for two days, so how are you gonna get your exercise in?
• 38:42
  Polly Mertens: How are you gonna get your training in?
• 38:43
  Polly Mertens: How are you gonna eat healthy?
• 38:44
  Polly Mertens: You know, whatever, Think about that, right, like think about have time to prepare for that future, if there's something that you have to address.
• 38:52
  Polly Mertens: So people just think like, oh, habits are just gonna sort of form themselves.
• 38:58
  Samantha Pruitt: Well, so some of us are a little more Taipei than others and you know we like planning and being purposeful about our lives, so that trickles down into our daily actions around these micro habits.
• 39:16
  Samantha Pruitt: Right, but we've both worked with clients and I probably was this person in the past I don't remember, but I probably was this person who didn't really want to take the time and energy because I was stressed out, I was exhausted, I was pissed off, I was all the things right.
• 39:32
  Samantha Pruitt: I didn't have the bandwidth, if you will, to really be more intentional and plan ahead.
• 39:39
  Samantha Pruitt: I was just shooting from the hips, I was in survival mode.
• 39:42
  Samantha Pruitt: So there are those people out there that that is the case.
• 39:45
  Samantha Pruitt: So what would we say to them?
• 39:47
  Polly Mertens: You know, I would say, even if it's small, planning right, and so maybe the change that you're trying to make needs to be small too.
• 39:54
  Polly Mertens: You know, if your life is maxed out, trying to add or insert, you know, an extra hour a day into this exercise or planning and whatnot, that's probably not going to happen.
• 40:06
  Polly Mertens: And so what you might look at is what do you need to eliminate, right?
• 40:09
  Polly Mertens: Exactly what do you need to eliminate to make time for a little bit of preparation, execution, implementation of that habit, right?
• 40:18
  Samantha Pruitt: So somebody who's trying to do healthy eating maybe doesn't have time to do food prep and a lot of grocery shopping.
• 40:23
  Samantha Pruitt: People are having their groceries delivered or whatever.
• 40:25
  Samantha Pruitt: Like a micro habit could be that they drink a green strength once a day.
• 40:31
  Samantha Pruitt: You know like it could be so small, so simple, because obviously they're going to start with it.
• 40:37
  Polly Mertens: Start with it, yeah, and I think people a little bit lie to themselves about how much, how busy they are and how much time they you think a little bit.
• 40:43
  Polly Mertens: Well, I'm trying to be generous.
• 40:46
  Samantha Pruitt: You're so sweet People.
• 40:48
  Samantha Pruitt: You be B and S and S a lot.
• 40:49
  Samantha Pruitt: I mean there's a lot of wasted time.
• 40:54
  Polly Mertens: There is, there really is.
• 40:56
  Polly Mertens: And, if you Like, I've had a role once inside of a company where we build our time sort of like attorneys do, where they log every 15 minutes.
• 41:05
  Polly Mertens: So I had to keep track of every 15 minute interval of what I was doing from that's brutal From the moment I arrived to the moment I left.
• 41:14
  Polly Mertens: At first I resist, I was like how am I ever going to get that?
• 41:16
  Polly Mertens: And then I enjoyed it because it was like it kept me so accountable to myself and so on task Like, I've had times where, outside of that role, I'm like I should do that, like that's really.
• 41:29
  Polly Mertens: It's maximizing all of your time, right, and people pittle away time on all sorts of things.
• 41:35
  Polly Mertens: You know you get up in the morning, it's like 30 minutes of social media and whatever you know.
• 41:39
  Polly Mertens: Or, oh, I've got to have this time to relax and watch TV for three hours at night or whatever they're doing.
• 41:47
  Polly Mertens: I mean, I'm not saying that everybody's doing that, but you would be surprised where you are able to insert your time and if this rises in the priority list, like your health.
• 41:57
  Polly Mertens: Like you said, it had to happen, like you, otherwise, where are you going?
• 42:03
  Polly Mertens: You're going to the graveyard.
• 42:03
  Polly Mertens: You know like you're on a downward slope.
• 42:07
  Polly Mertens: To change that trajectory you have to take back control and prioritize your time first.
• 42:12
  Samantha Pruitt: So preparing, that's what I have to say about that To me.
• 42:15
  Samantha Pruitt: It just reminded me yet again of that circumstance.
• 42:20
  Samantha Pruitt: The person who's shooting from the hip, barely surviving every day is chaos, has no other bandwidth.
• 42:25
  Samantha Pruitt: All of the things that are on their plate that they are maxed out about are votes.
• 42:30
  Samantha Pruitt: They are making votes with their time, energy, money, attention, et cetera, et cetera.
• 42:37
  Samantha Pruitt: Every single one of those is a vote towards who they want to be, and if they're committed to continuing that path and that is the person they want to be, then that is exactly what they will get.
• 42:47
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, for sure, and I think some of that.
• 42:50
  Polly Mertens: We're going to talk about boundaries in a future episode.
• 42:52
  Polly Mertens: Oh yeah we are.
• 42:53
  Polly Mertens: Because you and I have a lot to say about how that I mean that's a lot of where these habits and time for things can come in is what are we committing to, over committing?
• 43:05
  Samantha Pruitt: to.
• 43:06
  Polly Mertens: Influence of others.
• 43:06
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, all that stuff.
• 43:09
  Samantha Pruitt: Don't get me started on that right now.
• 43:10
  Samantha Pruitt: I didn't relate it to that topic, so we got to wrap this up.
• 43:15
  Samantha Pruitt: What do we want to say to our beautiful humans we love you.
• 43:18
  Samantha Pruitt: But what do we want to say in closing?
• 43:20
  Polly Mertens: Well, I want to just whittle it down and I think where we started from is where I want to end with.
• 43:23
  Polly Mertens: So the one thing if you just get one thing out of this episode is start with a new rule, start with a new promise to yourself and then build the habit from there.
• 43:33
  Polly Mertens: I love it, I love it, I love it.
• 43:36
  Samantha Pruitt: Okay, and I want to say what I always say to you, which is remember, beautiful humans, how your life feels is more important than how it looks, and every day is your opportunity to find your awesome.
• 43:47
  Samantha Pruitt: Yeah, all right, let's do this lady.
• 43:50
  Samantha Pruitt: Yes, bye, everybody.