Latest / The Daily Reset Podcast / Your vision comes first
Transcript
- 0:00SPEAKER_00: Welcome to The Daily Reset.
- 0:02SPEAKER_00: I'm Laurel Quinn, former CEO, coach, and recovering fineaholic.
- 0:06SPEAKER_00: Every day, a few minutes to reset how you think, live, and work,
- 0:10SPEAKER_00: so you spend your energy on what actually matters.
- 0:13SPEAKER_00: Let's reset where we're starting.
- 0:15SPEAKER_00: Today is where it all begins.
- 0:17SPEAKER_00: Your vision comes first.
- 0:19SPEAKER_00: And I want to start with a confession.
- 0:21SPEAKER_00: For years, I looked successful from the outside. I built companies. I led teams.
- 0:25SPEAKER_00: I delivered.
- 0:26SPEAKER_00: If you'd asked me how I was, I'd have said, fine.
- 0:29SPEAKER_00: Busy, but fine.
- 0:31SPEAKER_00: Underneath, I had become very good at surviving and very bad at living.
- 0:35SPEAKER_00: I thought stress was ambition.
- 0:36SPEAKER_00: I thought busyness was success.
- 0:38SPEAKER_00: And I thought slowing down meant falling behind.
- 0:41SPEAKER_00: At 53, I made a decision.
- 0:43SPEAKER_00: I wasn't going to spend another decade waiting for my life to begin.
- 0:47SPEAKER_00: And the change didn't start with a new job, or a new routine, or a big dramatic gesture.
- 0:52SPEAKER_00: It started with a picture of where I actually wanted to go.
- 0:55SPEAKER_00: That's what today is about.
- 0:57SPEAKER_00: The tolerance trap.
- 0:58SPEAKER_00: Let's start with that word. Fine.
- 1:00SPEAKER_00: I've come to believe that the most dangerous place to be isn't unhappy. It's fine.
- 1:04SPEAKER_00: Because unhappy moves you.
- 1:06SPEAKER_00: Unhappy makes you pick up the phone, update the CV, have the conversation.
- 1:10SPEAKER_00: Fine doesn't.
- 1:12SPEAKER_00: Fine keeps you exactly where you are, one small compromise at a time.
- 1:16SPEAKER_00: Fine sounds like, it's not that bad.
- 1:18SPEAKER_00: Other people have it worse.
- 1:20SPEAKER_00: I should be grateful.
- 1:21SPEAKER_00: And every one of those sentences is reasonable.
- 1:23SPEAKER_00: That's what makes them so powerful.
- 1:25SPEAKER_00: Slowly, not that bad, stops describing a hard season and becomes the ceiling on your whole life.
- 1:31SPEAKER_00: So here's your first question.
- 1:33SPEAKER_00: Where in your life are you telling yourself things are fine?
- 1:36SPEAKER_00: Not terrible, just fine.
- 1:38SPEAKER_00: Your work, your health, your relationship, the way you spend your evenings?
- 1:42SPEAKER_00: You don't have to fix it.
- 1:43SPEAKER_00: Just notice it.
- 1:45SPEAKER_00: Noticing is where it starts.
- 1:46SPEAKER_00: What do you actually want?
- 1:48SPEAKER_00: Here's the question most of us stop asking somewhere along the way.
- 1:51SPEAKER_00: What do I actually want?
- 1:53SPEAKER_00: Not what you should want.
- 1:55SPEAKER_00: Not what would look good on LinkedIn.
- 1:57SPEAKER_00: Not what your parents wanted for you or what your friends seem to have.
- 2:00SPEAKER_00: What do you want?
- 2:02SPEAKER_00: If that question makes you feel a bit uncomfortable, you're not alone.
- 2:06SPEAKER_00: Many of us, and women especially, we're taught that wanting things is selfish,
- 2:10SPEAKER_00: that we should be grateful for what we have.
- 2:12SPEAKER_00: So we get very skilled at knowing what everyone else needs and very rusty
- 2:16SPEAKER_00: at knowing what we need. Try this.
- 2:18SPEAKER_00: Finish the sentence.
- 2:20SPEAKER_00: If I'm honest, what I really want is...
- 2:23SPEAKER_00: Say in your head, don't edit it, don't make it sensible.
- 2:26SPEAKER_00: Whatever came up, that's information.
- 2:29SPEAKER_00: It might be big, a different career, a move, a business.
- 2:33SPEAKER_00: It might be small, an hour to yourself, a walk without your phone,
- 2:36SPEAKER_00: a friend you've lost touch with.
- 2:38SPEAKER_00: Small wants count.
- 2:39SPEAKER_00: They're often the most honest ones.
- 2:41SPEAKER_00: Your values are the blueprint.
- 2:43SPEAKER_00: Underneath every real want is a value,
- 2:46SPEAKER_00: something that matters to you so much that when it's missing, life feels off,
- 2:51SPEAKER_00: even when everything looks fine.
- 2:53SPEAKER_00: Freedom, Family, Creativity, Security, Adventure, Growth, Contribution, Peace.
- 3:00SPEAKER_00: Your values are the blueprint for your life.
- 3:03SPEAKER_00: When your days line up with them, even hard days feel meaningful.
- 3:07SPEAKER_00: When they don't, even good days feel a bit empty.
- 3:11SPEAKER_00: Here's a quick way to find yours.
- 3:13SPEAKER_00: Think about the last time you felt truly alive.
- 3:16SPEAKER_00: Where were you and what were you doing?
- 3:18SPEAKER_00: Now think about the last time you felt quietly resentful.
- 3:22SPEAKER_00: What was missing?
- 3:23SPEAKER_00: The first tells you what you value.
- 3:25SPEAKER_00: The second often tells you which value is being ignored.
- 3:28SPEAKER_00: Your 10 year Tuesday.
- 3:30SPEAKER_00: Now I want you to do something that sounds simple and isn't.
- 3:34SPEAKER_00: Picture an ordinary Tuesday, 10 years from now.
- 3:37SPEAKER_00: Not your birthday, not a holiday, not the day you win an award.
- 3:41SPEAKER_00: A normal Tuesday in a life you've designed.
- 3:44SPEAKER_00: What time do you wake up? Where are you? Who's there?
- 3:47SPEAKER_00: What do you do in the morning?
- 3:49SPEAKER_00: How do you feel in your body?
- 3:50SPEAKER_00: What work fills your day, if any?
- 3:52SPEAKER_00: Who do you talk to?
- 3:54SPEAKER_00: What does your evening look like?
- 3:56SPEAKER_00: I love this exercise because most visions are made of highlights and we don't live
- 3:59SPEAKER_00: in highlights. We live in our regular days.
- 4:02SPEAKER_00: If your ordinary days feel like yours, your life feels like yours.
- 4:06SPEAKER_00: Notice what surprised you.
- 4:07SPEAKER_00: Often the Tuesday we really want is quieter, simpler,
- 4:11SPEAKER_00: and more connected than the goals we've been chasing.
- 4:13SPEAKER_00: Your weakest pillar.
- 4:15SPEAKER_00: At Balanse, we look at life through four pillars, mind, body, relationships, and purpose.
- 4:21SPEAKER_00: And here's what I've learned in my own life and with every woman I've worked with.
- 4:25SPEAKER_00: Your weakest pillar is bleeding into the others.
- 4:29SPEAKER_00: If your body is exhausted, your mind gets noisy.
- 4:32SPEAKER_00: If your relationships are strained, purpose starts to feel distant.
- 4:36SPEAKER_00: If your mind is anxious, you stop showing up for the people you love.
- 4:39SPEAKER_00: They're always talking to each other, so be honest.
- 4:43SPEAKER_00: Out of mind, body, relationships and purpose,
- 4:46SPEAKER_00: which one is quietly holding the rest back right now?
- 4:49SPEAKER_00: You probably knew the answer before I finished the question.
- 4:51SPEAKER_00: That's your starting point.
- 4:53SPEAKER_00: Not because the others don't matter,
- 4:55SPEAKER_00: but because lifting the weakest one tends to lift everything else with it.
- 4:59SPEAKER_00: Bring the dream into today.
- 5:00SPEAKER_00: Here's the most important part.
- 5:02SPEAKER_00: A vision only changes your life when it changes what you do next.
- 5:06SPEAKER_00: So don't leave this episode with just a nice picture.
- 5:09SPEAKER_00: Look at your 10-year Tuesday and your weakest pillar and ask,
- 5:12SPEAKER_00: what is one small thing I can do today that the woman living
- 5:15SPEAKER_00: that Tuesday would thank me for? Keep it small.
- 5:18SPEAKER_00: Book the appointment.
- 5:19SPEAKER_00: Send the message.
- 5:21SPEAKER_00: Go to bed an hour earlier.
- 5:22SPEAKER_00: Block out 30 minutes on Sunday to write your vision down properly.
- 5:26SPEAKER_00: Write that one thing down now before the day takes over.
- 5:30SPEAKER_00: You don't need to have it all worked out.
- 5:31SPEAKER_00: You don't need to feel ready.
- 5:33SPEAKER_00: You only need to be willing to look honestly at your life and to begin.
- 5:37SPEAKER_00: If you want to go deeper, workbook one, your vision comes first,
- 5:41SPEAKER_00: walks you through all of this over a week.
- 5:43SPEAKER_00: The fine audit, your values, your 10-year Tuesday in full, and your first step.
- 5:49SPEAKER_00: Be honest with yourself today.
- 5:51SPEAKER_00: Write what's true, not what sounds impressive.
- 5:54SPEAKER_00: This has been The Daily Reset.
- 5:55SPEAKER_00: I'm Laurel Quinn.
- 5:57SPEAKER_00: Because your day creates your life.
- 5:59SPEAKER_00: And I'll see you tomorrow.