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When Brains Differ: Navigating Neurodivergence in Marriage · Doing Marriage Well

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  Doing Marriage Well for May 27, 2026 When your brains are wired differently,
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  navigating neurodivergency in marriage.
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  I have undiagnosed ADHD.
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  Anyone who knows me is sure I have it. I suspect it shows up in these podcasts at times.
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  So I was interested when I saw a study entitled Preferences for Social Support
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  and Perceived Support Gaps Among Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, ADHD, Adults.
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  The short version is that ADHD folks in romantic relationships don't feel they
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  get the emotional health and support they desire from their partners.
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  The researchers concluded that the specific cognitive and emotional patterns
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  associated with ADHD can create unique challenges for navigating relationship support.
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  Individuals with ADHD often process information and regulate emotions differently
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  than the general population.
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  This means that they may have different needs. It may also mean that they don't
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  feel efforts that would be felt by a neurotypical spouse.
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  One big issue was how much support the individuals felt they got from their
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  partner for the difficulties that came with ADHD.
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  And most of them very much wanted help and support. But I don't want to make this all about ADHD,
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  There are other forms of neurodivergence Which can affect how a couple relates
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  The most obvious is being on the autism spectrum But there are others we don't
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  think about Such as dyslexia,
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  dyscalculia Which is difficulty with numbers And the understanding of numerical
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  information And prosopagansia, aka face blindness And there are others If you
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  or your spouse's brain diverges from the norm That is going to be a factor in your marriage,
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  Pretending it's not there won't make it go away.
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  The better your spouse understands the issue, the better they can relate and help.
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  It's not a them thing, it's a marriage issue, and that makes it a us thing.
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  If you can find a couple where one spouse has the same issue,
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  that may be particularly helpful.
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  This is Paul, and doing marriage well looks more different for some couples.
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  A resource, Two Different Brains in Love, Conflict Resolution and Neurodivergent
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  Relationships, from the Gottman Institute. There's a link in the show notes.