Latest / She's On The Money / Maria Thattil on IWD, Rainbow Washing & Peer Pressure

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Maria Thattil on IWD, Rainbow Washing & Peer Pressure · She's On The Money

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Speaker 1: Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr
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Speaker 1: the Order Kerni Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before
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Speaker 1: we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I
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Speaker 1: would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land
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Speaker 1: of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country,
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Speaker 1: acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through.
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Speaker 1: As this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and
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Speaker 1: the storytelling of you to make a difference for today
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Speaker 1: and lasting impact for tomorrow.
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Speaker 2: Let's get into it.
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Speaker 3: She's on the Money. She's on the Money.
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Speaker 4: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
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Speaker 4: for people who want financial freedom. Today's Friday, which means
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Speaker 4: it's time to get the team together and celebrate you
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Speaker 4: the incredible She's on the Money community. Today will be
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Speaker 4: sharing our favorite money wins. We'll be helping to answer
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Speaker 4: juicy money dilemma which this week is all about rainbow
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Speaker 4: washing workplaces, and we unpack something you slid into our
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Speaker 4: dams about which this week is the pressure to be
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Speaker 4: personally and financially set up by your thirties.
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Speaker 5: These are good exciting things.
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Speaker 4: Yeah, I know they're very relatable. Actually both these are actually
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Speaker 4: relatable to me. But Jess, the energy is different in
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Speaker 4: this room today. I feel like we've got someone else
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Speaker 4: with us.
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Speaker 5: Well, that would be exactly why, because we do, in
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Speaker 5: fact have somebody else with us. We have our wonderful
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Speaker 5: friend Maria at Til joining us for this International Women's
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Speaker 5: Day episode. And it's a very full cycle moment because
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Speaker 5: if you came to our Melbourne International Women's Day event
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Speaker 5: in twenty twenty two, you would have seen the gorgeous
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Speaker 5: Maria then as well. So we're so excited to have
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Speaker 5: you back.
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Speaker 2: Thank you guys for having me.
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Speaker 6: When you were saying that, I'm like, oh my god,
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Speaker 6: am I breathing too heavily.
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Speaker 1: In the.
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Speaker 6: So it's good to be back. I'm so excited to
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Speaker 6: be chatting to you guys. And I can't believe it's
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Speaker 6: been what to you since then?
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Speaker 5: Oh my god, it's flown. It is crazy. But for
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Speaker 5: those who don't know you, Maria is a woman of
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Speaker 5: so many talents. She is an author, a speaker, a host,
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Speaker 5: former Miss Universe Australia as well as a huge advocate
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Speaker 5: for women and the LGBT q I A plus communities. Literally,
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Speaker 5: I feel like there's nothing that you can't or don't do.
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Speaker 6: I feel like that list makes me sound so much
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Speaker 6: more impressive than I actually am. I I can't stop
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Speaker 6: ordering Uber eats, I can't read them out very well.
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Speaker 2: I'm surprised I got here on time.
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Speaker 6: So there's like there's a lot you guys, this is
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Speaker 6: what I mean.
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Speaker 5: It wouldn't be fair if you were all of these
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Speaker 5: things and also very timely.
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Speaker 6: So something there's a lot that gives you, guys.
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Speaker 4: It's extremely comforting to know she's just one of us who.
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Speaker 6: Heavily into microphones and disappears into the ether.
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Speaker 5: Perfect.
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Speaker 4: That's my kind of woman, honestly. A First of all,
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Speaker 4: let's start off with talking about our weeks. Jess, do
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Speaker 4: you want to go first? How's you've been?
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Speaker 5: It's been good. I love International Women's Day Week because
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Speaker 5: I feel like there's two sides to it, right, Because
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Speaker 5: sometimes it can feel very performative, like we're rolling out
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Speaker 5: the pink cupcakes in the corporate office. We love women
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Speaker 5: will but we'll never promote them. So you know, it's
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Speaker 5: kind of a double sided coin where it can feel
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Speaker 5: very performative. But I love that we are celebrating women
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Speaker 5: and all of the amazing things that they do. And
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Speaker 5: it's a bit different for us this year because it's
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Speaker 5: the first year in three years that we're not doing
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Speaker 5: our events because vd's just had beautiful baby Mini, which
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Speaker 5: is very exciting and new and different in and of itself.
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Speaker 5: But it's just really cool I think this week to
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Speaker 5: see all of these incredible platforms creating space for women
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Speaker 5: in all different sectors, in all different areas of the world,
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Speaker 5: and I just am like gobbling up the content and
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Speaker 5: absolutely living for it. So Happy International Women's Day, everybody.
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Speaker 5: I'm loving it. How about you, Maria, how's your week been?
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Speaker 5: You'd be busy? I feel like at the moment.
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Speaker 2: Busy busy.
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Speaker 6: It feels like one thing I'm getting better at over
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Speaker 6: the years. I would have to say that I wasn't
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Speaker 6: when I last did your event is finding a sense
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Speaker 6: of balance. So even though it's busy, I'm still making
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Speaker 6: time for life, stuff to go for a walk, read
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Speaker 6: a book, not lose my mind. And that's really nice,
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Speaker 6: you know, So things are good in mind. I can't complain.
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Speaker 5: Bext to how's your week been?
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Speaker 2: Really nice?
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Speaker 4: I stopped meditating a little while ago, and I just
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Speaker 4: started up again, so I feel like maybe it's placebo effect,
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Speaker 4: but I feel like so much more zan, you know,
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Speaker 4: And I think I needed it this week because it's
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Speaker 4: always always around this time that you see the the
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Speaker 4: M word misogynists popping up every now and then when's
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Speaker 4: International Menday Midsday, so every other day of the year,
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Speaker 4: but anyway, so I feel like I've needed it this
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Speaker 4: week and it has really come in handy. So for me,
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Speaker 4: I've just been chilling as well. It's just been a
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Speaker 4: really nice week. But Jess, I feel like I don't
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Speaker 4: have a good sag. I really wish I did. I
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Speaker 4: was trying to, but I really want to hear about
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Speaker 4: the community money wins, all right, let me.
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Speaker 5: Give you some. So firstly, this week I've got a
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Speaker 5: money win from Rachel, who said I bought my first home.
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Speaker 5: Property Playbook helped me immensely, And that might be a
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Speaker 5: little bit self indulgent because Property Playbook is the show
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Speaker 5: that I co hosted, but I'm just really excited for you, Rachel.
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Speaker 5: I feel like that is such a wonderful feeling, and
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Speaker 5: I know what a hard slog it is to get there.
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Speaker 5: I feel like all of us do. So congratulations, proud
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Speaker 5: of your girls.
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Speaker 2: Amazing.
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Speaker 5: Next, I've got a money win from Leah, who said
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Speaker 5: my partner and I are moving in together after Easter,
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Speaker 5: so I have been scouring the op shops to stock
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Speaker 5: up our home. This coffee machine popped up on Facebook
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Speaker 5: Marketplace on Saturday for free, and I thought, surely not,
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Speaker 5: so I messaged the guy who posted it and I
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Speaker 5: was the first one to reach out. So I went
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Speaker 5: and picked it up straight away, and my partner could
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Speaker 5: hardly believe it when I told him. RRP would have
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Speaker 5: been around two thousand, five hundred dollars, So it is
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Speaker 5: my biggest money win today. And she popped in a
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Speaker 5: photo and it's one of those I'm not a coffee drinker,
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Speaker 5: but like fancy Barista digital. That's incredible and it made
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Speaker 5: me think, you know, on Facebook place when people with
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Speaker 5: something is free, but really it's not free. Yeah, so
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Speaker 5: I was worried that that's where that was going to go,
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Speaker 5: but it didn't happy ending.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's amazing.
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Speaker 4: I don't believe that I know.
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Speaker 5: How good well done, Leah. Next, I've got a money
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Speaker 5: win from Alana, who said I cleaned out my spare
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Speaker 5: bedroom and I had one hundred and twenty bucks in
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Speaker 5: a backpack that I hadn't used in years.
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Speaker 4: WHOA, okay, I go.
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Speaker 5: Where every week there is a win from somebody saying,
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Speaker 5: like I found twenty bucks in my jeans, I found
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Speaker 5: fifty bucks in my car, And I want to know
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Speaker 5: how these people are losing their cash ever had?
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Speaker 6: How is it not turning up in the washing machine?
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Speaker 6: How are you not washing your money using it in
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Speaker 6: the dryer?
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Speaker 4: Like that's a good point, maybe they had.
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Speaker 2: Maybe it's just really clean money.
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Speaker 5: It's really crazy on a different level. That's good, thank you.
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Speaker 5: I don't come out with the sugar. Oh god, that'sa
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Speaker 5: thank you.
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Speaker 4: Next so quick, she's out of his book.
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Speaker 5: I'm not normally the funny ones take it go.
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Speaker 4: I' take it and run, babe.
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Speaker 5: I've got money in from ash who said seven to
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Speaker 5: eleven has struck again. This has to be the most
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Speaker 5: I've ever saved so far. My fiance and I share
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Speaker 5: a seven eleven account so we can bounce off the
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Speaker 5: fuel lock based on the areas that we're in, because
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Speaker 5: you know, sometimes more regional areas maybe it's a little cheaper.
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Speaker 5: So they share the account and they're saving all the
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Speaker 5: dollars that they can in the lead up to their
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Speaker 5: wedding in September. And she saved thirteen dollars just by
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Speaker 5: locking in the fuel. Oh amazing. It's good, well done.
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Speaker 5: It's very good start, very good start. Indeed. Then I've
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Speaker 5: got one from Amanda who said I rode into the
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Speaker 5: city for work on my husband's e by last week
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Speaker 5: and saved myself a ten dollars sixty public transport fee
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Speaker 5: and I got two hours worth of exercise out of it.
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Speaker 5: Very good. Those things are so good, the electric ones, and.
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Speaker 2: You can publicly hire.
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Speaker 6: You don't know the app, you just jump one for
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Speaker 6: me to be I've done it.
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Speaker 2: Instilettos. It's amazing.
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Speaker 5: That is exclude, there is footage, is there really finance.
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Speaker 2: It's good. It's really good.
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Speaker 5: It's easy and it's so good for the environment too.
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Speaker 5: I feel as well just getting around and any wins there, yeah,
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Speaker 5: well done, excellent on Amanda. And then lastly I have
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Speaker 5: money Win from Kurra who said money Win, I finally
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Speaker 5: cracked a thousand dollars cash back in my shop back account.
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Speaker 5: And that's for all the people who say the little
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Speaker 5: things don't add up because you know how sometimes you
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Speaker 5: get like fifty cents back or a couple of dollars.
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Speaker 5: She's cracked a grand and that is extremely impressive.
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Speaker 4: That impressive.
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Speaker 5: Yeah, but Maria, we when we have people come on,
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Speaker 5: we say, do you have a money win or perhaps
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Speaker 5: a money confession that you could share with us for
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Speaker 5: the week.
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Speaker 6: Well, okay, I'm going to start this on a note.
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Speaker 6: I'm gonna just you know, marder myself a little bit here,
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Speaker 6: and I'm going to give you a money loss, a
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Speaker 6: bit of a learning we love because hopefully this helps
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Speaker 6: somebody else win.
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Speaker 2: Okay by sharing this love it.
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Speaker 6: I you know, when I realized I'm coming on the podcast,
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Speaker 6: I thought, you know, think about money, thinking about finances.
8:53
Speaker 6: I went into my subscriptions and I'm like, how much
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Speaker 6: stuff am I paying for that I don't need to?
9:00
Speaker 2: Turns out, Raya.
9:03
Speaker 5: You've heard a committed relationship.
9:05
Speaker 6: You guys had my girlfriend on this podcast a couple
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Speaker 6: of days ago. So I have a woman, and yet
9:11
Speaker 6: I've been paying for a dating app that I don't use.
9:13
Speaker 5: Hate.
9:15
Speaker 2: I hate that guitar tuna, guys.
9:18
Speaker 5: Do you play guitar?
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Speaker 2: I have not so much plucked a string.
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Speaker 6: I bought a guitar in twenty twenty one, and so
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Speaker 6: that was my lockdown. Like lost, we all had a
9:29
Speaker 6: lockdown crisis. Mine was totally I'm gonna learn to play
9:32
Speaker 6: guitar age with some country music.
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Speaker 2: Didn't pluck a string.
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Speaker 6: Had been paying for tuning out for a three years.
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Speaker 2: I don't want to think about how much money I
9:43
Speaker 2: poured into it.
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Speaker 6: So if you're listening, this was me sacrificing my mind,
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Speaker 6: you know it's a money loss. This is my story.
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Speaker 6: I hope it helps somebody else by sharing, so.
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Speaker 4: I think I will Already I'm like, I can't wait
9:55
Speaker 4: until we're out of the studio so I can quickly
9:57
Speaker 4: check what I I subscribed.
10:01
Speaker 5: Let us say that the most obscure thing you've ever
10:03
Speaker 5: subscribed to and realized is because guitar tune is pretty
10:05
Speaker 5: up there.
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Speaker 7: Wait a minute, you all look at me like we
10:10
Speaker 7: just you don't believe I could play the guitar with
10:14
Speaker 7: the country due everyone's eyes wide and listening, and I'm like,
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Speaker 7: maybe I played tuning.
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Speaker 4: A friend's guitars. What I thought surely.
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Speaker 2: Minelated a thick layer of dust.
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Speaker 6: Actually got rid of it last year so did you
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Speaker 6: tune it at least? No, I didn't my dad and
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Speaker 6: my dad I worked this out. Just didn't happen for me.
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Speaker 6: Nothing really, the guitar thing didn't take off. So sure
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Speaker 6: you can't see me opening for Taylor Swift anytime soon.
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Speaker 5: Oh that's the only reason I would have walked.
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Speaker 1: One day.
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Speaker 4: Maybe one day.
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Speaker 6: Have you ever seen like the hot drummer, like the
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Speaker 6: hot girls who played the drums and then like the
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Speaker 6: hot like guys.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like in what diluted parallel universe.
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Speaker 6: And I'll be one of those hot guitar girls.
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Speaker 2: It has not happened, but who knows.
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Speaker 4: I you know completely. I'm exactly saying. When I go
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Speaker 4: to like gigs and stuff, I'm.
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Speaker 2: Like, I could be like this, I could feel like this.
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Speaker 4: I never touch a single instrument in my life.
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Speaker 5: Not a musical bone in your body.
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Speaker 4: No, not a single one.
11:15
Speaker 5: Do you know what your body is made up off?
11:16
Speaker 5: Though I was gonna say broke bones, but savvy money
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Speaker 5: saving bones.
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Speaker 3: You had your money laundering, and now.
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Speaker 5: It was like, I can be funny again, confident, takeway,
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Speaker 5: and I tried to give you one.
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Speaker 4: I am grateful, I am trying.
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Speaker 2: I loved it.
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Speaker 4: Honestly, you can try again because we can go three
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Speaker 4: for three, Jess. I do have some broke tips for
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Speaker 4: you guys. We have one from the community, one from myself,
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Speaker 4: and then hopefully Maria. If you have one, no pressure,
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Speaker 4: feel free to shear walls at the end. So the
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Speaker 4: first one comes from Abby who says, roast left veggies
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Speaker 4: that are going bad and blend with a can of
11:58
Speaker 4: crushed slash popped tomatoes to make pizza slash pasta sauce.
12:03
Speaker 4: Add some dried herbs make it even better, but not
12:05
Speaker 4: necessary if you don't have them. That is us something
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Speaker 4: I had never thought of before.
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Speaker 5: Also, good kids, and you want to sneak veggies in
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Speaker 5: I've heard that that's a very popular lack. Oh my god,
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Speaker 5: there's fifteen vegetables you'd never know.
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Speaker 4: Totally just pulse them into oblivion so it doesn't resemble
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Speaker 4: a vegetable anyway. Yeah, that's pretty good and also money saving.
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Speaker 4: So I usually just chuck those things in the garden
12:27
Speaker 4: or like whatever, but in the garden to compost them,
12:30
Speaker 4: to compost them exactly. But instead you make yourself a
12:32
Speaker 4: lovely pasta sauce or pizza sauce gorgeat pretty good in
12:35
Speaker 4: My one for this week actually came from a very
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Speaker 4: good friend of mine, maybe my girlfriend, I can't say.
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Speaker 4: But basically, if you go to the markets as things
12:41
Speaker 4: are closing up, you can either get things for very
12:44
Speaker 4: cheap or for free.
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Speaker 5: Like a weekend market like a Camberwell market, like.
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Speaker 4: A Campwell market, or even just like I don't know,
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Speaker 4: I haven't tried it at a Prayer market. I feel
12:52
Speaker 4: like it's probably going to be a little bit for
12:54
Speaker 4: those listening and if you don't know Prayer and it's
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Speaker 4: a little i would say, more expensive pot part of Melbourne,
13:00
Speaker 4: try it there. I mean, go for it. But yes,
13:02
Speaker 4: those little like pop up markets or just like any
13:04
Speaker 4: kind of like food stalls, food trucks, that kind of thing. Yeah,
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Speaker 4: people are usually giving things away for free at the
13:09
Speaker 4: very end when they're going to chuck them out anyway.
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Speaker 5: Yeah, like I did the Hunter Markets, which is a
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Speaker 5: fashion market here in Melbourne, and there was a girl
13:16
Speaker 5: at the store next to me who had like very
13:18
Speaker 5: expensive stuff and the market's like four or five hours whatever,
13:20
Speaker 5: and by the end of it, she literally just had
13:22
Speaker 5: a tub that she put on the floor and said
13:23
Speaker 5: take it as free because she said she didn't want
13:26
Speaker 5: to take it home, and so I feel like you're
13:27
Speaker 5: totally right, Like sometimes people are like, well, better some
13:29
Speaker 5: money than no money.
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Speaker 4: Totally, that's really good. What was it like.
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Speaker 5: In the box? Yeah, clothes. I was selling my clothes.
13:37
Speaker 5: I did not need more clothes.
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Speaker 4: That's incredible. Yeah, Maria. Do you happen to have a
13:42
Speaker 4: broke tip to share? Well?
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Speaker 6: I do, But you know what, I originally my mind
13:47
Speaker 6: went to like a really boring place.
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Speaker 2: I'm going to two.
13:50
Speaker 6: Okay, so but one's kind of like I know, but
13:52
Speaker 6: one's kind of like cool and fun and whatever. But
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Speaker 6: the first one is I try and trick myself with
13:59
Speaker 6: my budgeting spread sheet because everything's like automatically formulated, so
14:02
Speaker 6: like as say invoice is coming, I work for myself.
14:05
Speaker 2: You know, you could do this.
14:06
Speaker 6: With your income if you're a salaried employee. I actually
14:09
Speaker 6: change the formulas to make sure I'm putting more away
14:12
Speaker 6: for tax and super that I'm meant to. So then
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Speaker 6: I have a certain amount that I'm allowed to play with,
14:16
Speaker 6: and I budget very strictly, and then at the end
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Speaker 6: of the end of financial year, I'm left with like
14:20
Speaker 6: a little bonus and I'm like, oh.
14:21
Speaker 5: That is it's like a faith free month.
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Speaker 6: So it's like a fake because I've tricked myself. But
14:27
Speaker 6: once this spreadsheet is said, I don't really look outside.
14:30
Speaker 6: And then my other tip is one of my best friends,
14:32
Speaker 6: and you know, you do this with a friend or
14:33
Speaker 6: someone you trust.
14:34
Speaker 2: But every six months, gather up.
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Speaker 6: Clothes that maybe you've just worn on high rotation and
14:39
Speaker 6: swap it wardrobes off with a friend so that you're
14:41
Speaker 6: sort of like getting a little bit, you know, just
14:43
Speaker 6: don't buy things so much if it ends up in
14:45
Speaker 6: landfill and clothes, you know, pre loved clothes. You can
14:49
Speaker 6: get good wear out of your mates wardrobes, families wardrobes,
14:51
Speaker 6: just wardrobe swap.
14:52
Speaker 2: So that's really good.
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Speaker 5: I've seen little wardrobes swap parties and I always think
14:56
Speaker 5: that looks so fun.
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Speaker 6: And then just keep track, like if you're like me
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Speaker 6: type a, like i'd keep like an Excel spreadsheet, you know,
15:03
Speaker 6: but if you want a bag, but it's just fun
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Speaker 6: to you know, mix it up and try and experiment
15:08
Speaker 6: with your style.
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Speaker 4: That's so much a good idea. I really like that that.
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Speaker 4: Actually you need more clothes.
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Speaker 2: I need more. It does require you to part with
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Speaker 2: some O.
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Speaker 4: Yes, true, I want to break even. Okay, let's go
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Speaker 4: to a really quick break. But on the flip side,
15:27
Speaker 4: we're going to talk about rainbow washing, workplaces, don't go anywhere.
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Speaker 5: Welcome back, everybody. Let's take a listen to this week's
15:38
Speaker 5: money dilemma.
15:41
Speaker 8: Hi, there, have you got a money dilemma you just
15:44
Speaker 8: can't solve? The Sheese on the Money Team is here
15:46
Speaker 8: to help. Every week, we tackle your dilemmas, both big
15:49
Speaker 8: and small, to answer your most burning money, career and
15:52
Speaker 8: life questions. To get involved, simply head to our website
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Speaker 8: and leave us a short voice recording and you might
15:58
Speaker 8: just find yourself on the show.
15:59
Speaker 2: Now, let's take a.
16:00
Speaker 8: Listen to this week's money dilemma.
16:03
Speaker 2: Hey, team, So.
16:04
Speaker 9: Like, I've got a really curly one for you, right.
16:07
Speaker 9: I work for a smaller business and I would say
16:11
Speaker 9: that overall they're not very supportive of LGBTQIA plus communities.
16:19
Speaker 9: But what really annoys me is that when pride comes
16:22
Speaker 9: along suddenly they pretend that they care. And they do
16:26
Speaker 9: that by pushing us, as in like the staff, into
16:31
Speaker 9: donating to these causes so they can talk about it
16:33
Speaker 9: on their social media and it makes them look super generous,
16:36
Speaker 9: but like I know for a fact, they're donating nothing,
16:40
Speaker 9: so the whole thing seems really insincere, and I feel
16:43
Speaker 9: quite pressured to take part. And it's not that I
16:46
Speaker 9: wouldn't donate, it's just that I don't want my job
16:49
Speaker 9: to be telling me that I have to donate. Anyway,
16:53
Speaker 9: I would like to bring this up with them politely.
16:56
Speaker 9: I don't really know how to do that, and I
16:58
Speaker 9: don't know if I should.
16:59
Speaker 5: Bring it up at all.
16:59
Speaker 9: I'm going to be honest because I find this whole
17:02
Speaker 9: conversation super uncomfortable. Anyway, I'd love to know what you
17:07
Speaker 9: thought and if you have any advice.
17:10
Speaker 2: Okay, thanks by you.
17:11
Speaker 5: I feel like this is very on brand with what
17:13
Speaker 5: we were saying earlier about International Women's Day. Are kind
17:15
Speaker 5: of the same.
17:16
Speaker 6: True the cupcakes and could perform. Do you know what
17:19
Speaker 6: it takes me back to? It takes me back to
17:21
Speaker 6: twenty twenty, the Black Lives Matter movement and the Black Square,
17:25
Speaker 6: the Black Square and brands who have never engaged a
17:29
Speaker 6: person of color in front of the lens, behind the lens.
17:32
Speaker 6: All of a sudden, Yeah, there's a black square and
17:35
Speaker 6: no action to follow. Yeah, it takes me back to
17:37
Speaker 6: that how yuck. It just that listening to that just
17:41
Speaker 6: made me want to, like my skin crawl a little bit.
17:43
Speaker 2: Now people still do that.
17:44
Speaker 5: It's really unfortunate, I think because the reason that I
17:48
Speaker 5: think these brands do it is they've cottoned onto the
17:50
Speaker 5: fact that, particularly our generation generations are like the up
17:54
Speaker 5: and coming generations, brands and companies that align with our
17:57
Speaker 5: ethics are incredibly important to us. It's like, I am
18:00
Speaker 5: not buying for a company that goes against my personal
18:04
Speaker 5: moral code or my moral compass.
18:05
Speaker 1: Right.
18:06
Speaker 5: So they've realized that to get people's dollars, they need
18:09
Speaker 5: to align to people, and they need to publicly be
18:12
Speaker 5: seen to be doing good. And logically, the solution there
18:15
Speaker 5: is for that company to do social good, to support causes,
18:19
Speaker 5: to support employees who may or may not be members
18:22
Speaker 5: of you know, the LGBTQA plus community. Employees are people too.
18:25
Speaker 5: And I think that there's also the element, as our
18:28
Speaker 5: listener is saying, you feeling really uncomfortable about being put
18:31
Speaker 5: in a position where you don't want to look like
18:33
Speaker 5: the bad guy by saying I don't want to donate
18:36
Speaker 5: to this cause, which may not be because you don't
18:39
Speaker 5: support and believe in that cause, but you might want
18:41
Speaker 5: to work or advocate in your own way outside of
18:44
Speaker 5: the workplace. And I think that it's particularly hard because
18:48
Speaker 5: as an employee, I think sometimes you can feel like
18:51
Speaker 5: you're representative of this brand, especially if they're wanting to
18:54
Speaker 5: waive their banner on Instagram and be like look at us,
18:57
Speaker 5: like go Pride, But then behind the scenes, they're really
19:00
Speaker 5: not supporting the people who need and want that support,
19:03
Speaker 5: and that's the whole point. And so I feel like
19:06
Speaker 5: it's just this whole, big, uncomfortable thing for these employees
19:09
Speaker 5: and I don't know how you bring that up necessarily,
19:13
Speaker 5: And it's such a rock and a hard place because
19:14
Speaker 5: on one hand, I want to be like no, like
19:16
Speaker 5: tell them that that's not okay, advocate for yourself. But
19:19
Speaker 5: also we know that if they're not supportive to begin with,
19:22
Speaker 5: maybe they're not going to be receptive.
19:25
Speaker 4: That's trick, very good point. I don't know, like I
19:27
Speaker 4: think so the workplace they currently work in. If anyone
19:32
Speaker 4: this workplace is listening, tune out.
19:34
Speaker 5: I'm kidding.
19:34
Speaker 4: I'm not going to say anything bad, but I know
19:36
Speaker 4: that for Pride months, I think it was last year
19:37
Speaker 4: or the year before we weren't doing anything. We do
19:39
Speaker 4: have a whole social committee that's dedicated to things like this,
19:42
Speaker 4: and so I was like, what the hell's going on?
19:44
Speaker 4: It's like, was it June? And I was like, you know,
19:47
Speaker 4: can I just kind of had a conversation with the
19:49
Speaker 4: head of the social committee. And if your workplace doesn't
19:52
Speaker 4: have a social committee, I know that's quite rare. Maybe
19:55
Speaker 4: someone in charge, someone who has the power to be
19:58
Speaker 4: making bigger decisions, maybe have a chat with them. But
20:00
Speaker 4: what I did was I basically said I would like
20:03
Speaker 4: to be seeing things happen for this kind of you know,
20:06
Speaker 4: like a Pride month or maybe Mardi Gras, things like that.
20:09
Speaker 4: Love these things to be celebrated in the workplace to
20:12
Speaker 4: make me feel a little bit more I don't know, welcome.
20:16
Speaker 4: But also I know it's a little bit awkward, but
20:19
Speaker 4: just maybe broach it in a way that's like, hey,
20:21
Speaker 4: it would be really cool if we just maybe did
20:23
Speaker 4: some things year round. Let's have a flag a flat,
20:26
Speaker 4: let's put a flag up or something, you know, nothing ictic,
20:28
Speaker 4: but just to make people who may or may not
20:31
Speaker 4: be part of that community feel welcome. And I don't
20:35
Speaker 4: know it can be something as small as that, but yeah,
20:38
Speaker 4: that really is a tough one.
20:39
Speaker 6: Yeah, Oh, I just think you know, for businesses, what
20:42
Speaker 6: I think what astounds me about that is that this
20:46
Speaker 6: person from your community sounds like, you know, they're really
20:49
Speaker 6: feeling like their business does not actually get behind supporting
20:54
Speaker 6: these certain communities, which to me feels really strange in
20:57
Speaker 6: this day and age twenty two. It feels really strange
21:01
Speaker 6: because of what you've said. Unfortunately, a lot of businesses
21:04
Speaker 6: are getting around it for commercial reasons. But for the
21:06
Speaker 6: most part, what I think has happened after the big
21:09
Speaker 6: lockdowns in twenty twenty is there was a bit of
21:11
Speaker 6: a digital revolution and now the people with a voice.
21:16
Speaker 6: It's not just reserved for people in power traditional media.
21:19
Speaker 6: It's like anyone with an Internet connection can speak up
21:21
Speaker 6: and what they say gains traction. And so now people
21:24
Speaker 6: that you haven't heard from, say like people from the
21:26
Speaker 6: queer community or women, and it's just we get to
21:29
Speaker 6: speak and say what we need. So it's astounding to
21:31
Speaker 6: me that this business isn't sincere in their efforts, and
21:35
Speaker 6: your listener who's written in, they sound like they're really
21:38
Speaker 6: struggling with that dissonance of It's not that they don't
21:41
Speaker 6: want to support the cause, but I just can't get
21:43
Speaker 6: behind this performatively, and.
21:45
Speaker 2: I think that's fair. So when I worked in.
21:47
Speaker 6: HR so in a past life, I went to go
21:50
Speaker 6: front HR and it reminds me of myself back then,
21:54
Speaker 6: because I worked in a male dominated industry and I
21:58
Speaker 6: remember back then like of always been very passionate about
22:00
Speaker 6: diversity and inclusion, and I wanted to champion you know,
22:03
Speaker 6: what are we doing for general equality in the space
22:05
Speaker 6: you guys? And I remember bringing it up with the
22:07
Speaker 6: manager of mine and she allowed me to create and
22:11
Speaker 6: host and lead an event celebrating women in the industry
22:14
Speaker 6: and their stories, and it was amazing. But what was
22:18
Speaker 6: uncomfortable for me was dissonance between that and like things
22:21
Speaker 6: culturally that were actually not right, like you know, senior
22:25
Speaker 6: female leaders in the business not wanting to share that
22:27
Speaker 6: they had kids and not feeling supported and it sounds like,
22:31
Speaker 6: you know, you put your money with your mouth, is
22:32
Speaker 6: they're not doing it. I saw it not happening, and
22:35
Speaker 6: so I'm with you, Beck, I think, really, you know,
22:39
Speaker 6: you have every right to speak up, and whether you're
22:42
Speaker 6: talking to your HR rep or you're talking to your boss,
22:44
Speaker 6: I'm very like you catch more flies with honey than vinegars.
22:46
Speaker 6: I'd say, hey, it's so great that you know you're
22:49
Speaker 6: doing this thing around Pride or International Women's Day, but
22:53
Speaker 6: that there are three hundred and sixty four other days
22:54
Speaker 6: in the calendar years, So what else are we doing? So,
22:57
Speaker 6: you know, put it to them, keep everything in writing,
23:00
Speaker 6: take it from a hr gal, everything in writing. But
23:03
Speaker 6: you know, I would even then try and pitch them ideas,
23:05
Speaker 6: like take things to them, because then you know, if
23:08
Speaker 6: they're really not you know, they don't want to create
23:10
Speaker 6: an employee resource group after you've suggested it, they don't
23:13
Speaker 6: want to support local charities, then if you have the
23:16
Speaker 6: means I recognize in this economy, it's a privilege to
23:18
Speaker 6: be able to do this work out whether you know
23:21
Speaker 6: with your moral compass, is this a place.
23:23
Speaker 4: You want to be totally?
23:25
Speaker 2: You know, like it just.
23:26
Speaker 6: Sounds like from the start when you said they don't
23:29
Speaker 6: support the communities, Like I just you know, if that's
23:32
Speaker 6: something you believe in, like do you want to be
23:34
Speaker 6: there and if you can afford to, Maybe it doesn't
23:36
Speaker 6: align culturally.
23:37
Speaker 4: Totally, And I guess that goes for like every you know,
23:40
Speaker 4: company's kind of like core values. If they don't align
23:43
Speaker 4: with yours, Are you comfortable working there? And if you
23:45
Speaker 4: are cool? If not, maybe explore your options again, as
23:51
Speaker 4: you say, Maria, if you have the capacity to, if
23:54
Speaker 4: you have the resources, you know, all that kind of stuff.
23:55
Speaker 4: I think that's very, very good advice.
23:59
Speaker 5: I was just gonna say before we move on the
24:02
Speaker 5: last aspect. I guess of the listener question was, you know,
24:04
Speaker 5: what do I do about the financial side, Like they
24:06
Speaker 5: want me to donate, I don't really want you it
24:08
Speaker 5: doesn't align with my morals. I feel like if you
24:10
Speaker 5: want to get out a jail free card, it's really
24:12
Speaker 5: easy to say, hey, I love and support this cause myself.
24:15
Speaker 5: I actually, you know, work actively to support outside of
24:19
Speaker 5: the workplace, so I'm going to continue to do what
24:20
Speaker 5: I'm doing. Love that you guys are raising funds, you know,
24:24
Speaker 5: would be awesome if the company could maybe match or
24:26
Speaker 5: something like that. I think don't feel bad for not
24:30
Speaker 5: participating through your workplace, because everybody can support a cause
24:33
Speaker 5: and advocate for a cause. And even if you're not
24:35
Speaker 5: putting funds behind that, you can spread awareness on your
24:37
Speaker 5: social media. You can talk to your friends and family,
24:39
Speaker 5: about it. There's lots you can do to support something
24:42
Speaker 5: that's important to you that doesn't require you to cough up,
24:44
Speaker 5: particularly through your workplace if it is, as you say,
24:47
Speaker 5: making you super uncomfortable because it's not your job to
24:51
Speaker 5: be the post a child for them.
24:52
Speaker 6: Yes, I love that advice, and it doesn't mean that
24:54
Speaker 6: you are not behind that cause. That does not have
24:57
Speaker 6: to be a medium you choose. And I think people
24:59
Speaker 6: feel pressure, you know, when it comes to advocacy or
25:01
Speaker 6: supporting causes, people feel pressure to do it in the
25:04
Speaker 6: most visible way, in the most you know. Sometimes advocacy
25:07
Speaker 6: is something as simple as being in your own circles
25:10
Speaker 6: of influence, being at the dinner table with your parents
25:12
Speaker 6: and saying, hang on, that's not an appropriate thing to say.
25:15
Speaker 2: We don't say that anymore. Sometimes that's enough.
25:17
Speaker 6: It's not about saying, hey, this is a check that
25:20
Speaker 6: I just put down with this cause in front of everybody,
25:22
Speaker 6: especially when it doesn't align.
25:23
Speaker 2: I think that's great.
25:24
Speaker 4: Yes, that's so true. Support and advocacy doesn't come in
25:27
Speaker 4: one form. It can come in many different forms, and
25:29
Speaker 4: it can start from within. So yeah, I absolutely love that.
25:32
Speaker 4: But on that, are we ready for a juicy juicy
25:35
Speaker 4: DM Yeah, absolutely we are okay. So this week's dm
25:39
Speaker 4: our listener writes in and says, hey, team. So I've
25:41
Speaker 4: just turned thirty five and feeling deflated. My friends from
25:44
Speaker 4: school have followed the typical path of quote unquote, get
25:47
Speaker 4: a stable and good job, meet their life partner, get engaged,
25:50
Speaker 4: get married, buy a house, have kids, end quote, and
25:54
Speaker 4: so it goes on. My path is totally different. I
25:56
Speaker 4: have changed the industry I work in multiple times, gone
25:59
Speaker 4: back to UNI at twenty nine, recently broke up with
26:02
Speaker 4: my partner I thought I would marry. I have only
26:04
Speaker 4: two kne savings as I have prioritized travel. I can
26:07
Speaker 4: barely afford my rent, let alone dream of owning a property.
26:10
Speaker 4: I feel like I've done everything wrong. I go out
26:13
Speaker 4: with my friends and they arrive in their nice cars
26:15
Speaker 4: and beautiful clothes slash accessories whilst I'm catching public transport
26:19
Speaker 4: and in an outfit I have worn twenty times before.
26:21
Speaker 4: With them, they make comments about me living like I'm
26:23
Speaker 4: in my twenties, and it hurts. I just can't relate
26:26
Speaker 4: to them at all. There is so much pressure to
26:27
Speaker 4: be personally and financially set up at this age. Any
26:30
Speaker 4: advice on how to deal.
26:31
Speaker 2: With these feelings.
26:32
Speaker 4: Oh, and it's a love heart and one of those
26:34
Speaker 4: you know those emojis with the the eyes that are
26:36
Speaker 4: looking up. There's like a bit of a glisten.
26:37
Speaker 5: Yeah, so that makes it.
26:38
Speaker 4: I guess I could just shows. Yeah, I totally get that. Actually,
26:44
Speaker 4: as I'm reading that, I'm like, that sounds like a
26:48
Speaker 4: good life, you know, like coming from I think my
26:52
Speaker 4: friends and I, it's probably a different lifestyle. My friends
26:54
Speaker 4: and I are all kind of on the same page.
26:56
Speaker 4: No one's really partnered up like some of us are,
26:58
Speaker 4: but no one's married. No one's having kids. Literally, one
27:01
Speaker 4: of my not to brag, one of many friends have
27:04
Speaker 4: one child, one other on the way, and she's still
27:07
Speaker 4: kind of coming to pubs and going to gigs and
27:09
Speaker 4: all this kind of stuff. So it really just sounds
27:12
Speaker 4: like the people you're surrounding yourself with the main not
27:15
Speaker 4: an issue. No one's way of living is an issue.
27:17
Speaker 4: But the fact that you're feeling like this, it's probably
27:20
Speaker 4: in the environment you're in. Because from reading that, and
27:23
Speaker 4: I'm sure reading that to you guys as well, I'm like, fun, fun, fun,
27:27
Speaker 4: you for getting out of relationship you don't want to
27:29
Speaker 4: be in Good for you for going traveling, goo, good
27:32
Speaker 4: for you, good for you. I'm loving it. I'm loving
27:33
Speaker 4: It's a good point.
27:34
Speaker 2: That's such a good point.
27:36
Speaker 6: And you know what, I'm thirty one and a lot
27:38
Speaker 6: of my friends are also in a similar place in life,
27:41
Speaker 6: but we're all on very different parts. And I remember
27:43
Speaker 6: my best friend and I were just chatting about this.
27:45
Speaker 6: We were actually talking about this in the context of
27:47
Speaker 6: romantic relationships, but I think this applies to life choices
27:50
Speaker 6: with finances and work as well. We were saying, how
27:53
Speaker 6: you know there's no one like you know, people talk
27:56
Speaker 6: about partners like when't you meet the Look, this is
27:58
Speaker 6: just my personal views, so but you know, you meet
28:01
Speaker 6: the one, or you end up in your dream job
28:03
Speaker 6: or this or that. It's like, there's actually just paths
28:06
Speaker 6: that you can take certain relationships. Your life will look
28:09
Speaker 6: different depending on the choices that you make, things that
28:11
Speaker 6: you do with your finances, if you choose to buy
28:13
Speaker 6: a house, if you choose to go off and travel.
28:15
Speaker 6: But ultimately, these are just paths based on choices and
28:18
Speaker 6: decisions that you've made, and it's not inherently good or bad.
28:22
Speaker 6: There just are And you're right it's for no one
28:25
Speaker 6: to judge. You did what felt right for you. This
28:27
Speaker 6: is what your life is look like. Maybe it doesn't
28:30
Speaker 6: align anymore with what your maids are doing, but there's
28:32
Speaker 6: nothing wrong with it totally, and it's never too late
28:36
Speaker 6: to choose a different path. So it sounds like this
28:38
Speaker 6: person's kind of going well. Maybe you're thinking more about
28:41
Speaker 6: wanting to have more savings and to change your financial situation,
28:45
Speaker 6: and kudos to you. That's amazing. But also I don't think.
28:49
Speaker 6: I don't without knowing what this person's friends are like
28:51
Speaker 6: and not wanting to make any assumptions. It could be
28:54
Speaker 6: that maybe they're concerned about your financial situation and that's
28:57
Speaker 6: just coming from them imposing their ideas of you should
29:00
Speaker 6: be doing. But also it's they shouldn't be making you
29:03
Speaker 6: feel bad, like I think with my mates, we're all
29:06
Speaker 6: in different financial places and I cannot imagine a world
29:09
Speaker 6: where we'd ever make one of us feel bad for
29:10
Speaker 6: not being able to afford doing something. Or you should
29:13
Speaker 6: be able to talk to your friends about it. I
29:15
Speaker 6: hope you'd be able to say, hey, it makes me
29:17
Speaker 6: feel this way when you say this, and yeah, that's
29:19
Speaker 6: not where I'm at.
29:20
Speaker 2: So if you could just be sensitive.
29:22
Speaker 5: Yeah, like maybe they don't realize and the yeah, I
29:25
Speaker 5: think there could also be an element of like wistfulness.
29:28
Speaker 5: We spoke to Michelle Battersby a little while ago and
29:31
Speaker 5: we were chatting about, you know, similarly, people in different
29:35
Speaker 5: life stages, and it was really interesting. She raised such
29:38
Speaker 5: a good point in that you know, the people who
29:40
Speaker 5: have kids, they might actually be envious of your lifestyle
29:43
Speaker 5: because I think with any of the different paths that
29:45
Speaker 5: you can or might choose, there's pros and cons, like
29:48
Speaker 5: nobody is living the perfect life, no matter how good
29:51
Speaker 5: it looks from the outside. There is always an up
29:53
Speaker 5: and a down. And I think you know, people with kids,
29:56
Speaker 5: or people who are in a better financial situation, maybe
29:59
Speaker 5: they're working really long days. If they've got children, it
30:02
Speaker 5: can be really hard to get out and about because
30:04
Speaker 5: you've got someone that you can't live by themselves. Depending
30:07
Speaker 5: on how old they are, there's elements that it might
30:10
Speaker 5: be maybe they want to be living life like they
30:12
Speaker 5: did in their twenties, so they could almost be like
30:15
Speaker 5: a little bit of envy there, which is something to consider.
30:18
Speaker 5: But I think more than anything, like what you were saying, Maria,
30:21
Speaker 5: like if you are unhappy, you can change, like you
30:24
Speaker 5: can start saving more money, you can start pursuing different things.
30:28
Speaker 5: You could change careers, like there are all of these
30:30
Speaker 5: options available to you. The world is truly your oyster.
30:33
Speaker 5: But if you're happy the way you are, that is
30:35
Speaker 5: also so valid and so fine. And we talk a
30:38
Speaker 5: lot about on the pod, like we draw the comparison
30:40
Speaker 5: between you and IBEC. Like I really want to buy
30:42
Speaker 5: a house. It is such a high priority to me,
30:45
Speaker 5: and I've worked incredibly hard and sacrificed a lot to
30:48
Speaker 5: get there. You could not care less, like I want
30:51
Speaker 5: to sit in the grass. I want to live my
30:52
Speaker 5: best life. I want to just enjoy and spend my
30:55
Speaker 5: money and do what I want, which is also completely
30:58
Speaker 5: fine and valid and a great choice to make. And
31:00
Speaker 5: it's those two things can exist in the same space
31:03
Speaker 5: and both be perfectly okay, good choices for each of us.
31:07
Speaker 5: And so I think, like there's also the element of
31:10
Speaker 5: it can be hard. I know that in this day
31:12
Speaker 5: and age, comparison culture is such a big thing, and
31:14
Speaker 5: there's a lot of pressure put on us to have
31:16
Speaker 5: the nice cars, have the nice clothes. You can feel
31:20
Speaker 5: left out or not as good because you don't have
31:23
Speaker 5: those quote unquote valuable things. But I think that if
31:26
Speaker 5: you can step outside of that and reflect on are
31:30
Speaker 5: you happy with where you are? And if you are,
31:33
Speaker 5: you're doing everything right, and if you're not, you can
31:36
Speaker 5: make changes to get to where you want to be.
31:38
Speaker 5: I feel like that's the crux of what I would say.
31:41
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I agree.
31:43
Speaker 6: Can I share something like what not to do in
31:45
Speaker 6: this situation?
31:46
Speaker 1: Ye?
31:46
Speaker 6: Because so I've actually been in the situation before. When
31:50
Speaker 6: I was twenty six, I was I think at that
31:52
Speaker 6: point i'd been in a relationship with the most beautiful
31:55
Speaker 6: man for like four to five years, and he was
31:58
Speaker 6: a little bit older than me. And at that point
32:00
Speaker 6: I was actually broke and in five figures of dead
32:03
Speaker 6: because when I was twenty one, I had just finished UNI.
32:06
Speaker 6: I didn't know what I wanted to do, so I
32:08
Speaker 6: just worked in retail for two years and honestly, I
32:10
Speaker 6: was just living paycheck to paycheck, like working minimum wage,
32:14
Speaker 6: just to fund my lifestyle like going out on the
32:16
Speaker 6: weekends or whatever. And then I decided to go back
32:18
Speaker 6: to UNIE, so broke Unie student life. And my ex
32:21
Speaker 6: was a little bit older than me and was working
32:23
Speaker 6: full time at a great job, and all of our
32:26
Speaker 6: shared friends were in a similar position. So I was
32:28
Speaker 6: around people who were able to travel and do things
32:31
Speaker 6: and have things, and we're starting to move out, and
32:33
Speaker 6: we're starting to buy their own cars and do all
32:36
Speaker 6: this stuff, and I couldn't afford to do anything. And
32:39
Speaker 6: I remembered this, like, when I heard this DM, I
32:41
Speaker 6: was like, I have been there. I felt like I
32:44
Speaker 6: didn't belong in those circles. I felt like I wasn't
32:47
Speaker 6: good enough to be around them. And that's my own stuff.
32:49
Speaker 6: I was projecting, you know, onto myself. And but what
32:52
Speaker 6: I will say is my ex and those people never
32:56
Speaker 6: once made me feel bad about it. There was never
32:59
Speaker 6: snider from about my financial situation or things like that,
33:02
Speaker 6: which I really appreciated. But because I was so stuck
33:05
Speaker 6: in that run, I ended up trying to keep up
33:08
Speaker 6: with a lifestyle that wasn't aligned to me on a
33:10
Speaker 6: credit card, and I ended up in really, really shitty debt,
33:14
Speaker 6: and it took me a while to pay that off,
33:15
Speaker 6: and then, you know, get to the position that I'm
33:17
Speaker 6: in now. And what I really wouldn't wish for people
33:20
Speaker 6: is to internalize somebody else's ideas of what their life
33:24
Speaker 6: is meant to be, and then you put yourself in
33:26
Speaker 6: a position that's even worse off. Like if this is
33:29
Speaker 6: where you're at, you know, own that, like you, Like
33:31
Speaker 6: you said, there are pros and cons to every path
33:34
Speaker 6: we choose.
33:34
Speaker 2: Own it.
33:35
Speaker 6: Be happy, but don't put yourself in a position where
33:39
Speaker 6: you're set back because you're trying to buy someone else's
33:42
Speaker 6: perception of you being more well off and successful than yeah,
33:45
Speaker 6: you are.
33:45
Speaker 5: And success is so subjective.
33:47
Speaker 6: It's perception, Like we're trying to buy and keep up
33:50
Speaker 6: with perception.
33:50
Speaker 2: Ye just got to work on your own.
33:54
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I completely agree, I completely agree. My last
33:57
Speaker 4: thing I do want to say is that this listener
33:59
Speaker 4: mentioned that they've changed industries a few times, and in
34:02
Speaker 4: the famous words of I think it might be Brene
34:04
Speaker 4: Brown or someone that Brene Brown interviewed recently, but some
34:08
Speaker 4: recent it was a little while ago, but she said
34:10
Speaker 4: something to the effect of, sometimes we don't have passions,
34:13
Speaker 4: Sometimes we just have curiosities. And that could mean that
34:16
Speaker 4: you change your curiosity a million times. That could Like myself,
34:20
Speaker 4: I've I've had like thirty different jobs, and I'm I
34:23
Speaker 4: don't think I'm particularly passionate about one single thing. I
34:27
Speaker 4: am instead curious about many things, and I will forever
34:30
Speaker 4: be do you know what I mean? I am so
34:32
Speaker 4: sorry if I've misquoted Brene Brown. I don't know exactly
34:36
Speaker 4: where I got this information from.
34:37
Speaker 5: Stuck with me.
34:38
Speaker 6: I made it up.
34:39
Speaker 4: I kind of made it.
34:41
Speaker 2: Maybe it was me.
34:42
Speaker 4: Actually quite well, I'm so wise. Let's see what the
34:45
Speaker 4: community said. So we asked the community, can you relate
34:49
Speaker 4: to this person? Fifty one percent of you said yes,
34:52
Speaker 4: big time. That's really good to know that, like literally
34:55
Speaker 4: half of us, one in two of us like yeah,
34:58
Speaker 4: I'm literally there. Forty times of you said not really,
35:02
Speaker 4: that's fair. And then we asked you for pressure to
35:04
Speaker 4: achieve certain things by particular ages slash timelines. Eighty one
35:08
Speaker 4: percent of you said yes, it's the worst, and then
35:11
Speaker 4: nineteen percent said no, I don't let that stuff get
35:14
Speaker 4: to me.
35:14
Speaker 5: Do you, guys, ever reflect on the timeline you gave
35:16
Speaker 5: yourself when you were young? Because I wrote so vividly,
35:20
Speaker 5: remember I was like, great, I'm going to graduate high
35:22
Speaker 5: school at eighteen. I'm going to meet the love of
35:24
Speaker 5: my life, be married probably by twenty one. Yeah, a
35:26
Speaker 5: couple of kids, I would say, maybe be done by
35:29
Speaker 5: like twenty eight, twenty nine, and by the time I
35:31
Speaker 5: turned thirty, like, we're all set up. We've got the house,
35:33
Speaker 5: we've got the kids, we probably have a couple of cats.
35:35
Speaker 5: I'm turning thirty this year and I have none of
35:38
Speaker 5: those things. I have the love of my life, but
35:40
Speaker 5: I don't have a house.
35:41
Speaker 6: Loss.
35:42
Speaker 2: And what's it been. It's been an adventure.
35:44
Speaker 5: It's exactly right, because.
35:46
Speaker 2: I've raised.
35:48
Speaker 6: This is so great. When I was eighteen, mine was.
35:51
Speaker 6: I actually wrote it in a journal entry, and I'll
35:53
Speaker 6: it's worse. It's not just a writing. I drew a.
35:56
Speaker 2: Picture to a company.
35:57
Speaker 6: Can't so I wrote that I was going to be
36:00
Speaker 6: and it was written like poetry. It was like twenty
36:01
Speaker 6: five year old psychologist, she sits by the window, drinking tea, watching.
36:05
Speaker 2: The rain on her day off.
36:08
Speaker 5: Its manifesting. I kind of love it.
36:10
Speaker 6: None of it happened, but I said that I was
36:12
Speaker 6: gonna have private practice. Did you pictured myself with like
36:15
Speaker 6: a dog on the sitting on the couch and we
36:17
Speaker 6: were going to be married, first child on the dome, don't.
36:20
Speaker 2: Have the door marriage to the dog.
36:22
Speaker 1: Sorry, I.
36:25
Speaker 6: Did not try and manifest being married to a dog.
36:28
Speaker 6: It was married to a man, surprise him quick. It's
36:32
Speaker 6: just so much of it. Like you know, we have
36:34
Speaker 6: these stories and timelines, and the best thing is that
36:38
Speaker 6: if you wed yourself to that and you chase it,
36:40
Speaker 6: you know you might be you know, very likely disappointed.
36:43
Speaker 6: But if you open yourself up and you're kind of like, hey,
36:45
Speaker 6: this would be nice if it doesn't happen, I'm open
36:48
Speaker 6: for the adventure and staying curious.
36:49
Speaker 2: Which that word is amazing that you said.
36:52
Speaker 6: I think life just opens up in a bigger and
36:54
Speaker 6: better way than you can imagine. My life is so
36:56
Speaker 6: different and it's better than anything I could have conceived
37:00
Speaker 6: for myself.
37:01
Speaker 2: And only because they just took.
37:02
Speaker 6: Risks and it was like, well this doesn't work, I'll
37:03
Speaker 6: try something else. This doesn't work, I'll try something else. Yeah,
37:06
Speaker 6: which is it sounds like what that last listener was doing.
37:09
Speaker 2: So you're on the right track.
37:10
Speaker 4: Yeah, totally personally loving your lifestyle, baby girl.
37:14
Speaker 5: Okay.
37:14
Speaker 4: Then we asked you, guys, do you find it hard
37:16
Speaker 4: to spend time with people who are in a completely
37:19
Speaker 4: different life stage to you? Sixty six percent of you said, yeah,
37:22
Speaker 4: we just can't relate to each other. Thirty four percent
37:25
Speaker 4: of you said, no, I haven't found this affects my
37:27
Speaker 4: relationships fair enough, and then we asked you to give
37:30
Speaker 4: us your two cents. One listener said, finding people in
37:34
Speaker 4: a similar boat to you that value similar things helps.
37:37
Speaker 4: That's so true. That really does help, but it's not essential.
37:41
Speaker 4: I suppose if, like you know, with us, we're saying
37:43
Speaker 4: here that we've had those relationships where you are at
37:46
Speaker 4: different life stages, but no one makes anyone feel bad
37:48
Speaker 4: for that. One listener said, got to find friends who
37:51
Speaker 4: value the same stuff. Some friends will never get the
37:53
Speaker 4: life pass, but it's not wrong. Another listener said, get
37:57
Speaker 4: new friends. Your experience is so normal. Don't let then
38:00
Speaker 4: make you feel less. And I can kind of, I mean,
38:03
Speaker 4: I don't know, like your friendship dynamics. Maybe you can
38:05
Speaker 4: just have a chat with them and be like, hey,
38:06
Speaker 4: you make me feel really sad. But maybe you need
38:09
Speaker 4: to look for people who will be kinder to you.
38:13
Speaker 4: That's up to you. Another listener said, they may wish
38:15
Speaker 4: for your life and what you have experienced, embrace it, which.
38:18
Speaker 2: Is what you were saying. Yes, so true.
38:21
Speaker 4: Another listener said, what's your why? Remember what your goals
38:24
Speaker 4: are and how you're achieving them. Which I think is
38:26
Speaker 4: really nice because I think that we don't. Sometimes we
38:29
Speaker 4: end up in a on a path or in a
38:31
Speaker 4: life stage and we kind of are like, oh, I
38:33
Speaker 4: feel really bad about this, but like, why did you
38:36
Speaker 4: get there? What were the things that you know? Some
38:38
Speaker 4: people actually don't have a choice, and that's you know,
38:39
Speaker 4: it's very privileged to me to say, but some people
38:41
Speaker 4: are like, oh, because I made decisions along the way
38:44
Speaker 4: that made me very very happy, and they made me
38:46
Speaker 4: these friends, and they made me this job, and they
38:49
Speaker 4: made me this whatever. So find out what your why is.
38:52
Speaker 4: And honestly, it really doesn't sound like you're living a
38:54
Speaker 4: life that is anything to be ashamed of.
38:57
Speaker 5: Not at all.
38:57
Speaker 6: No, no, not at all.
38:59
Speaker 4: And lastly, one listener said, everyone has their own path.
39:01
Speaker 4: Be with friends who don't judge you for it. Great.
39:05
Speaker 6: I think that's just fundamentally Yeah, that's totally, totally.
39:08
Speaker 4: Absolutely, just know you're doing a great job. Don't feel
39:10
Speaker 4: bad about it. I want to live your life persol.
39:13
Speaker 6: Good for you and good for you for identifying you
39:15
Speaker 6: want something different for yourself. Now's the time. Go get it.
39:17
Speaker 4: Absolutely, go get a girl naps for that.
39:21
Speaker 5: What a perfect place to leave it.
39:23
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think so.
39:23
Speaker 4: Thank you so much, Maria. We have loved having you on.
39:27
Speaker 4: This has been such a great emphysode.
39:28
Speaker 6: I've loved being on. I feel like we've just laughed
39:30
Speaker 6: and talked about stage wisdom and embarrassing things in our past.
39:33
Speaker 6: So I will try and find a picture of my
39:35
Speaker 6: diary entry in the picture and I'll send it to
39:36
Speaker 6: you guys.
39:37
Speaker 5: Please do put that on the stories. And if people
39:39
Speaker 5: want to find you, where can I find you?
39:41
Speaker 6: Oh God, it's not keep that in yeah, because I
39:46
Speaker 6: love If you want to find me, you can find
39:48
Speaker 6: me on MARIEA. Taylor on Instagram, on I have TikTok.
39:51
Speaker 6: It's my more unhinged platform, perfect podcast, a book. Go
39:55
Speaker 6: have a look, have a Google, and don't read the
39:57
Speaker 6: mail articles because they're silly.
40:01
Speaker 8: Amen.
40:01
Speaker 5: Love that.
40:02
Speaker 4: Thank you so much again, Maria. You guys have a
40:04
Speaker 4: great weekend and we will see you next week.
40:06
Speaker 5: Bye bye, guys.
40:08
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