Latest / The Daily Sarcast / May 13th, 2026; Kier Starmer, Rainbow Crosswalks And Keyboard Sprinkles

Transcript

May 13th, 2026; Kier Starmer, Rainbow Crosswalks And Keyboard Sprinkles · The Daily Sarcast

• 0:00
  Today's episode is sponsored by people who visit New York with no awareness
• 0:04
  whatsoever. Just go back to Times Square.
• 0:08
  People watch us on YouTube now. People have a lot of different options and they keep coming to us.
• 0:13
  I will tell you, when I got knocked off the air for a few days,
• 0:16
  people canceled Disney+. Why aren't people canceling Paramount+,
• 0:20
  because you never had it in the first place.
• 0:23
  Jimmy Kimmel with John Oliver, Seth
• 0:25
  Meyers, and Jimmy Fallon on Stephen Colbert's Late Show the other day.
• 0:37
  I don't know about you, but every time I say it's the 13th, even if it's not
• 0:43
  a Friday, I still think it's bad luck.
• 0:45
  Like, no matter what 13 is, it's bad luck, right?
• 0:49
  Like, it feels like a bad luck thing, and sorry, I'm not manifesting that you
• 0:53
  have a bad day, but, like, but maybe just, like, be more precautious today? I don't know.
• 0:59
  In real news, the head of the FDA, Martin McCary, resigned yesterday right after
• 1:04
  Trump put the order in to fire him.
• 1:06
  The final straw was that he opposed approving fruit-flavored e-cigarettes because
• 1:11
  of concerns that they appeal to teenagers.
• 1:14
  And that didn't sit well with our government. Like, if your vape flavor sounds
• 1:19
  like something sold at a frozen yogurt shop, kids are gonna want it.
• 1:24
  McCary has become one of the most controversial figures in health policy because
• 1:28
  somehow he managed to anger literally every group at once.
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  Public health experts criticized him over vaccine policies.
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  Biotech companies were furious over his drug rejections.
• 1:39
  Abortion advocates were mad about delays involving abortion medication studies.
• 1:44
  And tobacco companies hated his stance on flavored vapes, which honestly is
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  kind of impressive. That's not bipartisan support, that's bipartisan annoyance.
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  He'll be replaced on an acting basis by Kyle Diamantis, the FDA's top food official,
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  who is focused heavily on food chemicals and ingredient transparency.
• 2:06
  This whole story really shows how the FDA has become less quiet science agency
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  and more real housewives of federal regulation.
• 2:14
  Everybody's fighting. Everyone thinks they're right. And someone drew the line
• 2:19
  over mango-flavored nicotine. British Prime Minister Keir Starmer is currently
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  fighting for his political life after he lost big time in local elections.
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  At least 80 lawmakers in his own party have either called for him to resign
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  or demanded a timeline for when he'll step down.
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  Four junior ministers quit yesterday alone, which in political terms is basically
• 2:41
  when coworkers update their LinkedIn that they're leaving during a meeting.
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  Starmer has refused to back down, and he told his cabinet that if critics think
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  they have enough support to remove him, then they should formally challenge him.
• 2:54
  Someone's been watching a little bit too much Fox News, haven't they?
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  A lot of the frustration comes from voters feeling like Starmer hasn't clearly
• 3:02
  defined what he actually stands for.
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  His government has struggled with the economy, rising costs,
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  immigration tensions, and a major scandal involving former Ambassador Peter
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  Mandelson and his ties to Jeffrey Epstein.
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  And while Starmer hasn't been pushed out yet, politically, he's now in that
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  danger zone where everyone starts casually discussing your replacement while
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  you're still technically employed.
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  If only our country could take some notes. In Texas news, they banned rainbow crosswalks.
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  So San Antonio said, fine, sidewalks it is then.
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  After Governor Greg Abbott ordered cities to remove rainbow crosswalks and other
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  political street markings, San Antonio took down the crosswalks to avoid risking
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  around $80 million in state funding.
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  Which is a very depressing sentence.
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  Like not being able to have rainbows in your crosswalk so you can get funding?
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  But city leaders have found a loophole. The state only controls roads and crosswalks, not sidewalks.
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  So now the city's pride district has rainbow sidewalks instead.
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  Honestly, this feels like the version of your mom saying, you can't have dessert
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  before dinner, so you're just eating shredded cheese directly from the fridge at 2 a.m.
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  It's technically different, but spiritually very much the same.
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  The workaround was helped create by a councilman who said the city wanted to
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  show the LGBTQ community they weren't backing down completely.
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  Obviously, other people argued that public money shouldn't be spent on what
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  they see as political symbols, but like, everybody always has that opinion, don't they?
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  And this story eventually led to both a pride organization and a conservative
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  group joining the same lawsuit against the city for completely different reasons,
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  which might be the most 2026 thing imaginable.
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  Everyone's furious, but for all separate things. In Lindsay life.
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  I thought I was meeting my sister for a very, like, little low-key ice cream
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  at, like, 6 p.m., but then she somehow wrote me into a lot of wine and pizza
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  and her confessing her current secrets on me. Yum.
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  And no, Nicole, I didn't tell mom and dad. Yet, things I'm thinking about.
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  You know that little thing on your computer keyboard?
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  Like, on the J key? It looks like a little sprinkle
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  oh and then there's also a little one there's one
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  on the f key too it looks like a
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  little sprinkle or jimmy from an ice cream when i
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  was growing up i always thought that by accident when i was eating ice cream
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  i like got sprinkles like stuck onto the key and i always tried to pick at it
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  but it wouldn't come off and i was like wow i really got a sprinkle stuck on
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  the key that hard i can't believe it and then i get really stressed out about
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  it and hope no one noticed.
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  I don't think it was until I got to college that I realized that everybody else
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  had a sprinkle on their keyboard, on their J and F keys too.
• 5:54
  Cooking tip of the day. Putting scrambled eggs in your lo mein isn't as good as it sounds.
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  Feedback, comments, questions, a nice Jewish boy looking for a date,
• 6:04
  email me at lindsay at thedailystarcast.com. Thanks so much for listening.
• 6:08
  Talk to you guys tomorrow.
• 6:08
  Oh, and don't forget to like and subscribe to the pod if you haven't already.