Latest / 🎙️ Rebuild & Fulfill Real conversations on burnout, rebuilding, and becoming stronger than before. / The Power of Showing Up | Episode 20
Transcript
- Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: A few days ago, I came across a statistic that made stop and think. claimed that 90% of the podcasts never make it past episode three. Then it went on to say that of the remaining 10%, another ninety percent never make it to episode 20. Now I don't know if those numbers are exactly accurate, but honestly, that's not really the point. The point is most people quit. Not just podcasts, businesses, diets, recovery, relationships, dreams. People quit because they don't see results fast enough. Well, here we are. It's episode 20. And while we're grateful to have made it this far, Today's episode isn't about celebrating a milestone, it's about celebrating consistency. Because consistency has always been one of the cornerstones of Suffer to Tougher. We've said it from the beginning: ⁓ steps matter. Progress beats perfection. Healing isn't linear. ⁓ showing up, even when you don't feel like it, it's often the difference between staying stuck and transforming your life. So today, Marc and I want to talk about why consistency one of the greatest predictors of success, not just in podcasting, but in every area of life. Because consistency doesn't just build podcasts, it rebuilds lives. Welcome back to another episode of Rebuild and Fulfill, where we have real conversations about mental health, addiction, recovery, resilience, and what it truly takes to rebuild your life. I'm Kelsey Dunbar. Marc Rogala Co-Founder S2T: And I'm Marc Rogello. Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: Today's conversation was inspired by episode 20. But this really isn't about podcasting. It's about what it takes to keep showing up long enough for real change to happen. Because if there's one thing Marc and I have learned throughout our own journeys, and through conversations that we've had on this podcast, it's this: the people who eventually experience transformation aren't usually the most talented. They're the ones who simply keep showing up. Marc, when I first read that statistic, my mind left podcasting almost immediately. I started just thinking about life. So you've worked with people a lot in recovery. I've spent nearly 30 years coaching people through health and weight loss, but both of us have watched people make incredible progress, and we've both watched people quit. So let me ask you, why do you think so many people quit before they ever experience the breakthrough they're hoping for? Marc Rogala Co-Founder S2T: I mean, to me the biggest thing, Kelsey, is we're a society that wants instant gratification and they want immediate results. And you know, whether you're making dietary changes to lose weight, whether you're exercising to put muscle on, or whether you're working a traditional 12-step program to get sober, those results happen over a period of time. And it takes discipline. It takes consistency. It takes a lot of self-talk, a lot of a lot of mindset resets and things like that. And ⁓ quite frankly, a lot of people just don't have the patience to wait to get those results. And I was one of them for for a for a little bit until I finally learned after a lot of struggles and a lot of chaos in my life. So I mean I was no different. So I could speak on this subject personally. The other thing is is whether it's recovery. Whether it is weight loss, muscle gain, or w you know, whatever it might be in life, it's not linear. I mean, everybody makes progress at in different time frames. You know, so you get somebody that might make a dietary change and that might take off weight fairly quickly than somebody else, and that might frustrate that other person. Same thing, you know, with you know, putting out muscle and and going to the gym and and working out. I mean, we're in our fifties. You see a young man start working out the same way working out, it it they they're gonna put on muscle a hell of lot quicker. You know, and it's the same thing, you know, with recovery, whether it's mental health or or some form of addiction recovery. You know, everybody kinda goes at their own pace. And I think that's important to understand. The The fear of change or the fear of change in their daily discipline or daily structure. You know, you're being told you gotta make a lot of changes again, w across the board, you know, whether it's getting up and going to the gym every day, whether it's, you know, being disciplined with your diet, whether it's going to meetings and going to support groups and things like that. That's a lot of change in people's lives and people fear change as well. I mean, as a society, we do not like change. Again, I did not like change. You know, and that's why you gotta you gotta focus on, as you said in your opening statements, to progress over perfection. Because that's a big thing, you know, as d s from a society perspective And we've talked about this before. We expect perfection from the individual in the mirror, but we don't expect perfection from for our friends and our family members and so forth. We have to give ourselves some grace and understand, you know, that nobody's perfect and we gotta celebrate that progress. We gotta celebrate the wins and build on that over a period of time. And it takes patience. It takes patience, you know, and again, I I've gotten tremendously better when it comes to patience, but going into the changes I need to make, I was not a very patient human being. This process has got me to be a lot more patient. Still something I gotta work on though. Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: Yeah, I mean that's that's exactly what I was gonna touch on next. as you were alluding to with the patients, you know, I I've seen the exact pattern thousands of times. Someone decides they're finally gonna change, they work hard for a couple of weeks, maybe they lose a few pounds, maybe they don't. Then one one morning they step on that scale and because they didn't lose what they expected, they decide it's not working. Not because it wasn't working, because it just wasn't working fast enough. Marc Rogala Co-Founder S2T: Exactly. Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: So we've we've become conditioned to expect everything immediately. The the the world we live in is all about instant gratification. almost everything worthwhile in life takes time. You know, I'll give you an example and it's not weight loss, it's not fitness, it's not nutrition. How about S2T? Suffer to tougher. We've been doing this for a year, and yet you and I have conversations sometimes where we're like, ⁓ Why isn't this happening yet? isn't that happening yet? Like, why can't we get and the and then one of us talks the other down and says, Dude, it's been a year. Just a year. And we have to really kind of stop and smell the roses and think about everything that we've been able to do in a year, all the opportunities we've had. I mean, the podcast we're doing right now, celebrating episode 20, we didn't see that coming a year ago. So, you know, there's everything in life. You need to stop, slow down, take notice, appreciate, you know, what's what's going on, and ⁓ just celebrate the wins, like you said. So I I I really think somebody listening right now needs to hear this, don't confuse slow progress with failure. Sometimes the biggest changes in your life are happening beneath the surface long before anyone, including you, can see them. And that leads to something that I think we misunderstand completely. If consistency is so important, why do we spend so much time chasing motivation? So that's the next thing I want to talk about. Motivation is a terrible Plan. So one of the biggest misconceptions people have is believing successful people are simply more motivated. I don't buy that. Motivation is one of the most unreliable things we have. Some mornings you wake up excited, other mornings you don't want to get out of bed. So let me ask you, Marc, during your recovery, did you wake up single day and feel motivated? Marc Rogala Co-Founder S2T: Do you want the PG version or do you want the rated R version? Fuck no. I mean, just keeping it real. Absolutely not. Especially in early recovery, because your body's so friggin' beat up and you got urges and craves and you're dealing with shame and guilt and all that bullshit, you know? So, I mean, it's a lot of self talk, it's a lot of relying on ⁓ community, ⁓ like minded individuals. ⁓ Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: Let it rip, man. Marc Rogala Co-Founder S2T: you know, whether it be a sponsor or recovery coach or something like that. ⁓ going to a lot of meetings, hearing people's stories that provide some hope and inspiration to you that, you know, if you're consistent with, you know, your your rituals that you're doing on a daily basis, you can possibly have or surpass what they have. ⁓ accountability, and you know this, Kelsey. I mean the accountability that I had from individuals that were at one point picking me up going to the gym, okay, but then the little old man support group or accountability group that we started by tax, that helps tremendously. You know, because even on those off mornings when you don't feel like hitting the gym, or even on those days when you don't necessarily want to eat clean and you pass a white castle or something like that, you're like, ⁓ shit, I gotta answer to these guys. And that helps. That helps a lot until those habits are instilled and until that lifestyle is created. Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: That you leaned into recovery, Marc, if you leaned into today, Marc, where lately you've been getting up at three something and even when you've only had a few hours of sleep and you're ready to go, because you would have been talking about that one and you would have been like, yes, every morning, because I would have said this is gonna be a really short podcast then. ⁓ So Marc Rogala Co-Founder S2T: Tr trust me when I tell you, I mean it's a lot easier when it's warmer out, okay, and it's the summer months and it's getting light out at four thirty, four forty five in the morning. At least you could see the orange in the sky. It's not so easy when it's a polar vortex and it's negative thirty wind chill and you got a lot of darkness, you know, with very little sunlight during the course of the day. So Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: Yeah. And and that's what people think success looks like. They imagine that people who stay healthy always want to work out, that people in recovery always want to go to meetings. Successful business owners wake up inspired every single day. That's simply not reality. The the difference isn't that they always feel like doing the work. It's that they'll do it anyway, whether they want to or not. So after Being a coach for over 30 years, I can honestly say this the people who succeed usually aren't the most talented. They're not even usually the smartest. And they're definitely not always the most motivated. They're simply the ones that refuse to stop showing up. So, Marc, my next question for you Do you think one of the biggest differences between people who experience lasting recovery and people who continue struggling is just learning not to trust your emotions? Marc Rogala Co-Founder S2T: I mean, I think that's a lot of it. You know, I mean, but you need to understand that your feelings or your emotions aren't facts. And that's where your self-talk has to come into play. You know, I and and and and w with that self-talk, positive self-talk, when when you start taking action on a regular basis and you remind yourself of the actions that you're taking, I don't give a shit if it's real small actions, especially early on. Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: Hundred percent. Marc Rogala Co-Founder S2T: And you're just making little changes. You have to remind yourself that, hey, I'm doing this. I'm making these changes. And I know by doing this and making these changes, I'm gonna feel better. I'm not gonna wake up sick every morning if we're talking about from a recovery perspective. You know, I I'm gonna get clarity of mind. You know, my brain is gonna heal and I'm gonna feel less depressed and less anxious. ⁓ but you know, it takes the community, man, especially early on. You know, I mean, you know, we've talked about this before. I mean, you know, some people need, you know, professional relationships like therapist and psychiatrist. I certainly believe if we're talking about sobriety, you need some type of like recovery coach to work with. And then you want a community of like minded individuals that got similar goals that you do. You know, so if it's the sobriety thing, you know, a nice sober community. You know, if it's a mental health thing, you know, go to like support groups, you know, with other individuals that have struggled on the mental health have gotten in recovery. And and and pay attention to the similarities of what their recovery looks like and what they're doing on a daily basis because Everybody's recovery looks different, but there typically is a couple staples that you're going to hear consistently. And when you hear that consistently, those are kind of like your aha moments. ⁓ maybe I should focus on this, or maybe I should focus on that. And that's how you learn, apply, adapt, maybe make some changes or little tweaks, but always trying to make progress along the way. And I tell people, especially in early recovery, Kelsey, I don't care if the needle moves by point. 00001%. As long as it's in the right friggin' direction, that day's a win. As long as we're not going backwards, that day is a win. And as that consistency comes over a period of time and ⁓ you're able to get control of those emotions or feelings and you're putting in the actual work. And you start seeing some results, one, the progress is gonna be a little more than all those point zero one percent. The the growth is actually gonna start happening a little quicker and you're going to feel better about yourself and you're going to want more. Like the old saying in baseball, hitting is contagious. You know, once you once you actually have that those habits developed and it eventually becomes a lifestyle, y y you typically want more. Especially if you get the addictive gene. Okay? You're just ch you're just chasing another high, if you will, which is a h which is much healthier, which is, you know, focusing on your physical health, your mental health, and your spiritual health, if that's your thing. Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: Yeah, no, and and I get that completely because I I tell people it it's not that I don't have an addiction problem. just fortunately my addiction problem now is exercise because I can't go a day without exercising and not feel terrible. ⁓ it's it's kind of interesting because a lot of times people feel terrible because of the other stuff that they're doing to their body. And that's the thing that keeps me from feeling terrible. ⁓ so you hit me with one there in that last answer. The that the the feelings aren't facts. I love that. I want that on a bracelet. Like that, that's totally one that I that I that I really appreciate. So I'm gonna I'm gonna hit you with one that's like that. So that because that kind of reminded me of of one that I use a lot, and that's action creates motivation. So not the other way around. So you know, think about it. How many times have you not wanted to go to the gym only to leave feeling incredible? It happens with my clients all the time. I've got one in particular that I'm thinking off the top of my head. Marc Rogala Co-Founder S2T: Yes. Yeah, definitely. Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: That he's like, man, I almost called and canceled. I just wasn't feeling it. ⁓ you know, my stomach was upset, or you know, or I just, you know, was sluggish or whatever. And he's like, and once again, I'm leaving here feeling 10 times better than when I got here. how many, difficult conversations, have you avoided only to wonder why you waited so long to have them once they were over? ⁓ like we dread that conversation like, ⁓ I wonder how they're gonna take this, you know, or and then you get done with the conversation ⁓ and you're why was I spinning out about that? I feel so much better now that we had that conversation and got that over with and have a level of understanding and you were just dreading it because you thought that it was gonna go a different way. The action came first, the motivation followed. So maybe we've had it backwards all along. People aren't stuck because they lack motivation. They're stuck because they're waiting for motivation before taking their first step. So, you know what's interesting? We've we've barely mentioned the whole episode 20 thing since the beginning of the show. And honestly, you know, that's kind of the point. You know, nobody gets to episode 20 by talking about episode 20, right? You get there by recording episode four and then five and then six and one after another. That's consistency. And then as we start thinking about that, we realize something else. It isn't just our story. It's the story we've heard from almost every guest who's been on this podcast, which leads to our next segment. Twenty conversations. One common thread. So, Marc, as I was getting ready for today's episode, I started thinking back over the conversations we've had during the first 20 episodes. Over those 20 episodes, we've talked to people from incredibly different backgrounds, yet they all arrive at the same conclusion. Nobody changed their life overnight. Nobody had one magical breakthrough that fixed everything. Every person we talked to rebuilt their life one decision at a time. One appointment, one meeting, one difficult conversation, one healthy choice, one day, then another. That's what rebuilding looks like. So Marc, when you look back over all of our conversations that we've had with our guests, what's one lesson that keeps up over and over again? Marc Rogala Co-Founder S2T: The biggest thing for me Is the whole asking for help thing, it's not a weakness. ⁓ you know, it's when we talk to our guests and and you hear some of the chaos that they went through in their life, they have some issues going on inside, you know, whether it was childhood trauma, you know, or you know, something that happened in their life that, you know, was was traumatic as an adult. And in some instances, ⁓ okay. I guess use Shaffer as an example, okay? You know, he had a lot of issues going on dating back to his childhood, as he alluded to on the podcast, right? And then he had tremendous success playing in the NFL. But he had all this stuff going on on the inside. And then obviously he had his addiction issues that he shared on the podcast. And then finally he was able to share his emotions and a conversation with his mom, get the help that he needed, you know, so he basically asked for help as opposed to, you know, being a man's man. He was an NFL player, so you know damn well, okay, he's gonna try to keep his fe feelings inside, right? And it was only it was only then when he was able to get into recovery. and and and and get sober and get his mental health in check and, you know, is it's not like his life has been perfect, as he shared on the podcast. He's had a lot of adversity, including losing the you know, the mother of his two kids, his wife, and then basically raising those two kids by himself. But you know, through everything that he learned, and he did rekindle his faith with desire power, you know, with God, you know, not only did he raise two beautiful children and he's been sober for many, many years, but now he's living a life of service and giving back to the community. But it took a while for him to ask for help. And as a result, a lot of chaos ensued. And that's pretty common. You know, it's if if you th if you think back at the conversations that we've had. So I guess that's that's the biggest thing. And it kind of goes in conjunction with what we talked about, you know, during mental health awareness month. You know, people think that asking for help is a weakness, and we talk about how it's a sign of strength, and that's where really healing is gonna begin. Because as we talked about before, you can't do this on your own, man. Again, I tried, there's no beating this on your own. You know, it's gonna take a unit. small group of people, small army, if you will, to get you on the other side. Whether it's accountability, whether it's a recovery coach, whether it's professional help, all the above doesn't make a difference. ⁓ you know, it's you gotta check that pride, you gotta check that ego at the door. And I think once you do that and ask for help, healing truly begins. Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: Yeah. And yeah, that obviously that support is so important. ⁓ but one thing that I think about that also really stands out to me is that no matter what someone is struggling with, the the process of rebuilding looks surprisingly similar, whether it's addiction, mental health, grief, broken relationship, health journey, ⁓ rebuilding confidence. Nobody skips the work. There is no shortcut. Every person we've talked with had moments where they wanted to quit. The difference is they didn't. Mike has gone through the most amazing transformation being a volunteer ⁓ ⁓ he was ⁓ finance, ⁓ and ⁓ he had start his whole life over because of one bad decision. ⁓ And he put in work to make amends with the people that he wronged. so his perseverance has just amazed me and I mean you guys ⁓ that saw that episode especially the ones that watched it on YouTube I mean I was crying like a baby ⁓ just his story just affected me so much ⁓ so ⁓ he put in the And he continues to put in the work. He's one of the hardest working people that I know. And I talk to him at least probably once a week at this point. And, he's always working on bettering himself. He actually has a TEDx talk coming up in just a few weeks here, So ⁓ I mean, he's doing phenomenal. So, the thing they all have in common is that they're willing to put in the work, they keep showing up. And months later, a year later, five years later, you want to be able to look back and realize I've become a completely different person. And not because of one huge decision, one single big moment, but because of hundreds of little everyday ordinary decisions ⁓ just keep going, keep forward. So the next thing I wanted to bring up, Marc, is something that I thought ⁓ yeah, I'm sorry. Go ahead, Marc. Marc Rogala Co-Founder S2T: Tells something though, real quick? I'm sorry to interrupt. He actually has one of the most profound quotes out of all of our guests, though. And I'm gonna get it wrong. I really am, but it's something to the effect of ⁓ pain without direction ⁓ can lead chaos. Pain with clarity can lead to purpose. Or something to that effect. Very profound statement. And if you look at each one of the guests, tremendous different forms, but tremendous pain they've experienced in their life. And through the pain and through the mindset and the hard work that they put in, every one of them that we had on has led to a purpose. And that's that's something I wanted to point out. Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: yeah, no problem. So yeah, so but I'm gonna kind of turn the lens back on us here for a minute. So you know, we we've spent a lot of time talking about our guests, but I'd like to turn the mirror around for a minute. So because this podcast hasn't just impacted our listeners, it's impacted us too. And I I wanted to make that point as well. So let me ask you something, Marc, to kind of kind of put you on the spot, but I don't have anybody else here to ask. Marc Rogala Co-Founder S2T: Okay. Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: How has this podcast changed the way you think about recovery and mental health? Marc Rogala Co-Founder S2T: Everybody has a story, man. You know, and when you sit down and talk to individuals and find out some of the shit that they've gone through in their lives, sometimes you're just dumbfounded. And you know, to hear some of the stories that people have gone through and how they've come out on the other side stronger, like I said, with that purpose, it's a it's a beautiful thing. But, you know, everybody has a story. And and I think that's important for everybody to understand. You know, through that, you know, I I d I've been always been an empathetic person, but I've certainly become more empathetic with all the work I do in the recovery community, hearing people's stories even outside of this podcast, and then obviously through this podcast, hearing the individuals that we've ⁓ that we've interviewed and and see the challenges they've overcome, certainly a lot more empathetic. And then yeah, I mean, I I'd like to think I was a good listener doing thirty years of sales in the insurance industry. ⁓ but I think I have become a better listener. You know, trying to pay attention to the similarities in everybody's story and try connecting the dots and so forth and, you know, see if there's some commonality there, you know, with the run up or with the challenges and then how they advert how they handled that adversity. As a result of them being able to find the purpose. And there definitely are some similarities with pretty much every one every one of the guests that we've had on, for sure. Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: I mean, I definitely found myself changing too. in all of these years that I've been a coach, I've always believed people could change. But these conversations have reinforced something even more important than that. People rarely change because someone gives them the perfect advice. ⁓ They change because someone makes them feel understood. Sometimes the greatest gift we can give another person is simply helping them realize that they're not alone. That's it. Marc Rogala Co-Founder S2T: Kelsey, let me turn that around. What's something that you've learned about yourself during this process? Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: Honestly, I I think I've learned to listen better. There was a time when I thought helping people meant having all the answers, trying to fix people, and ⁓ and my track record in sales was actually very different than yours. ⁓ I was the type of guy that as a salesman, I would just keep talking till I got enough body language back from them where I thought that the next words out of their mouth was gonna be yes. And so I got good at reading body language, but I didn't want to shut up. Because I was afraid I was gonna hear the word no. So honestly, the being in sales did not make me a better listener like it did for you. But now I think helping people starts with asking better questions and then listening longer and certainly judging less. not that I was a very judgmental person before, but especially on the addiction side of things, I see things so much better. Obviously because of the conversations that I have with you, but then also the conversations with our listeners. And I I look at people with addiction completely differently. I mean, I I grew up pretty resentful of people who were alcoholics and addicts and things like that because of kind of what I ha I was raised with. but now, I'm I'm willing to learn from someone whose life looks ⁓ nothing like So Ironically, the more people we meet, the more I realize how much we all have in common. As we talk about before, I mean, and you spearheaded this the whole looking for the similarities, not the differences, because the similarities is is where the sweet spot is. It's where people can not only relate and find common ground, but it keeps us from becoming judgmental by looking for those differences. Marc Rogala Co-Founder S2T: Kelsey, I got a question for you. What's something that you're still working on? Because I know we have this podcast and we're providing all this information out there that I'm sure a lot of our guests think we got it all figured out. And we both know we don't have it all figured out, that's for sure. Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: Think sometimes we need this as much as the the people that are listening to our podcast need this. ⁓ because it certainly has has helped us both as as we just talked about. Yeah, I mean, if only, right? ⁓ I'm still working on patience. ⁓ that's I'll probably be a work in progress forever on that one. ⁓ definitely working on balance. ⁓ because I mean I'm a workaholic, so I'm trying to find a a ⁓ better way of balancing. ⁓ time blocking is is kind of a new thing for me that I'm trying on for size. ⁓ and I'm still working on giving myself grace when things don't go according to plan. That that's a big one. And ⁓ I'm still learning not to confuse perfection with progress. So as we say it's ⁓ I'm trying to walk that walk, but it's not an easy thing. So when we say progress over perfection, it's not something that we've mastered. It's just something that we know works. because perfection just keeps you stuck. Marc Rogala Co-Founder S2T: Yeah. Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: Where progress keeps you moving and I'd rather keep moving. So, maybe that's one of the greatest lessons consistency teaches us. It it isn't about becoming perfect, it's about refusing to stop becoming what you feel like you were meant to be. So, one of the things that we keep coming back to ⁓ I think people get overwhelmed because they're looking at their entire journey instead of just that next step. They think they've got to lose 100 pounds or they've got to rebuild their whole marriage or they've got to get sober or they've got to fix their life. That's a heavy burden. But I don't think transformation asks us to do all of that today, right? So I I think it asks one simple question: what's the next right step? We say that all the time, right? So when someone feels overwhelmed, how do you help them to stop looking at the whole mountain and just focus on today's climb? Marc Rogala Co-Founder S2T: Terminology that you heard so many times in friggin' AA meetings, and I wanted to throw a brick at the person that said it one day at a time. Because it sounds so cliche, and when you're the one that's struggling, you're like, if I hear that friggin' terminology one more time, I'm gonna go run outside the door. Seriously. But and I've heard other people speak, famous people speak on podcast about this too, and they all say the same thing. But if you start practicing it, they call it mindfulness, okay? Living in the present. That's I guess the medical term, if you will. You know, focusing on the here and now. It just makes your life a lot more peaceful. You know, you can't climb the mountain without taking the first step. The first step is today, winning the day. You know, from my perspective, every day is a step. And it starts out with even today, almost six years in sobriety, what do I do to new? need to make it through the day sober? What do I need to do to have a good mental health day? Because I don't want to go backwards. I saw the chaos that that has caused in my life. I like the progress that I made, but I want to keep focusing on making more progress and becoming a better version than me. You know, so the more you can practice mindfulness and living in the present, it's going to make it a lot easier for you to take the next step as of to f as opposed to focusing on the mountain. The times when treatment did not work for me, I was focusing on the mountain, mountain. And I was scared, man. I mean, when you're told you gotta make all these changes, it's like, you know, my whole life is being uprooted. But at the same time, you know, Heinzler looking back at it, now that I got clarity of mind, my whole life was uprooted because of my lack of taking those steps. You know, so That's the biggest thing. And if somebody truly is really struggling, okay, or th you know, today's gonna be their first day that they're gonna try to abstain from alcohol, substances, or whatever the drug of choice is, gambling, it might not even be twelve o' you know, twelve o'clock to eleven fifty-nine tonight. It might be one hour at a time, just windy hour. It might be get the breakfast, get the lunch, get the dinner, get to bed, wake up tomorrow, start all over again. You break it into increments, but it's never gonna be more than a 24-hour contract. And if you can embrace that and practice that, your life is gonna be a lot more peaceful and you're gonna see a lot more progress. Cause if I just gotta think about the things I gotta do today. It's a lot easier to think about thinking the things I gotta do for the rest of my life. Right? But if I do but if I control my day every single day, God willing, I wake up, those changes are going to be made for the rest of my life. And I hear this all the time, like when I talk to people, I just think about being sober and not being able to have a drink the rest of my life. And I just don't think it's possible. Well, guess what? You don't have to worry about the rest of your life. You just have to worry about today. And you know, same thing like with I guess dietary changes with the individuals that you work with. I'm assuming that you probably use the same concepts. You know, just focus on the day. What you know, pro proper nutrition today, wake up tomorrow, let's do it all over again. That could be used personally, you know, as far as growth, that could be used professionally in the business world. Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: Yeah. Marc Rogala Co-Founder S2T: ⁓ i it could be use it's it's multifaceted, but if you can embrace that in different aspects of life, your life is going to be a lot more peaceful for sure. Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: Yeah. We're we're we're kind of actually teasing a a future podcast episode and so we're gonna know who our who our true listeners are because in a future podcast I actually have planned to talk about the next five minutes. That's you could you guys can remember that when we get to that episode and be like, ⁓ I remember when they were talking about this. So that's a little tease. So ⁓ but I just I think that's one of the biggest lessons that coaching ⁓ in general has taught me is ⁓ People don't usually fail because they can't change. They fail because they're trying to change everything at once. I've talked about this so many times, like New Year's resolution where they're gonna change everything, they're gonna have this whole new healthy lifestyle and you know they're they're ready to go. And they try and do too much, ⁓ you know, ⁓ I'm gonna do that six week, that eight week, that twelve challenge ⁓ or something like that, and everything is gonna be great. I'm gonna have these six pack abs in eight weeks. It it doesn't work that way. I always bring them back to same question. What can you do today? Not next month, not next year. Today. Maybe it's just drinking another bottle of water. Maybe it's going for a walk. You know, it's scheduling that counseling appointment. those don't feel like life-changing decisions. But if you make them consistently, they can be. So, Marc, recovery teaches us one day at a time as we've been talking about, and coaching often teaches one step at a time, even though those are different worlds, but it's the same principle. So do you think that's why those ideas work? Marc Rogala Co-Founder S2T: Hundred percent. I mean, th recovery and life aren't that different. I mean what do we talk about? A recovery lifestyle. What's your lifestyle? Physical, mental, and I guess sp spiritual if that's your thing. So they're very comparable. And I think there's a difference between somebody being sober and somebody just abstaining. as opposed to a recovery lifestyle. And the goal is a lifestyle that's multifaceted, that the changes are going to tackle the different aspects of health that you have. It kind of doesn't happen overnight. You build on it, but it is very, very similar when you start thinking about it. You know, and it's the same thing, man. Just what kind of what you alluded to. Focus on the day. Stay present. So You know, and the other thing too, and ⁓ and and I do like this quote, and ⁓ I think you're the one that actually brought it to my attention, but you know, don't borrow tomorrow's problems. You know, but we spend so much time worrying about tomorrow, what we're gonna do tomorrow, or we're gonna what we're gonna do next week, you know, next month. Tomorrow might not even happen, man. I mean tomorrow might I I mean that's God willing. You know. Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: It's not promised, right? Marc Rogala Co-Founder S2T: That a freaking cousin passed away in his sleep a couple weeks ago, as you know. You know, my mom calls me at eleven o'clock in the morning. So, I mean, it's not promised to anybody. That's why we just gotta focus on the day. It's kind of the old saying, and I know that this is an old quote, and I heard Mike Ditke say it, and I kind of love it. So it's, you know, yesterday's history, tomorrow's a mystery, today's a gift, that's why they call it the present. I love that quote. Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: Yeah, for sure. and and honestly, if if recovery and healthy lifestyle didn't go together, there would be no suffer to tougher, right? ⁓ That's how we that's how we came together. So yeah. ⁓ So obviously the world that we live in currently celebrates Marc Rogala Co-Founder S2T: No, not at all. Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: Finish lines. But transformation usually happens long before anyone crosses one. It happens on ordinary Tuesdays, on the days nobody's watching, on the days you don't feel like showing up, but you do it anyway. Those ordinary moments rarely get celebrated, but they're the ones that change lives. Marc Rogala Co-Founder S2T: Kelsey, I got a question for you. Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: Yeah. Marc Rogala Co-Founder S2T: If someone's listening today and they're ready to give up, my t shirt says never give up. I wore this purposely today, and red, white, and blue for the fourth of July holiday. Couldn't have been more perfect, okay? Whether it's recovery, their health, their relationships, what's one thing you hope to take out of this podcast today? Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: Well, I mean, at the beginning of today's episode, we talked about a statistic. Ninety percent of podcasts don't make it to episode three of the ones that do, da da da da. Okay? Whether those exact numbers are right really isn't the point. Like I said, the lesson is this: most people quit. Not because they aren't capable, and not because they're not talented. And certainly not because they don't care. They quit because their progress is slower than they expected. But transformation almost never happens all at once. It happens quietly. One decision at a time, one workout, one meeting, one difficult conversation, one day of sobriety, one step, the next right step, as we talk about, and then another. Until one day you look back. And you realize you become someone you never thought you could become. Not because of one extraordinary moment, but because of the hundred or hundreds of ordinary decisions that quietly changed your life. People often ask us, what's the secret? Honestly, there isn't one. There are just ordinary people making extraordinary decisions consistently enough that over time their lives begin to change. And Maybe that's what episode 20 is really about. Not 20 episodes. 20 times choosing not to quit. And then we're gonna do 20 more. And then 20 more after that. And we'll see you guys through it, right? Because that's how meaningful things are built. Not all at once, but one choice at a time. And here's something that I hope you'll remember after today's conversation. Every time you keep a promise to yourself, You begin trusting yourself just a little bit more. Every time you break one, you begin trusting yourself a little less. Consistency isn't just how we build better habits, it's how we rebuild trust in ourselves. So today, I don't want to challenge you to change your entire life, but I simply want to challenge you to take the next right step. Whatever your episode 20 looks like, maybe it's 20 days sober. 20 workouts, 20 therapy sessions. Maybe it's 20 days of choosing not to give up on yourself. Whatever that is, don't quit now. You're probably closer than you think. If you've been with us since episode one, thank you. If today is your first episode that you've ever heard, welcome. We're honored you're here. If today's conversation encouraged you, We'd love it if you'd subscribe, leave a review, or and more importantly, if you can share this episode with someone who needs the reminder to keep showing up, that would be awesome. Because you never know the conversation you share today could become someone else's first step towards rebuilding tomorrow. So until next time, remember, you're not broken. You may just be overloaded. And we'll see you on the next episode of Rebuild and Fulfill. Take care.