Latest / The FEEL Podcast: Women’s Empowerment, Emotional Wellness and Self-Leadership with Melissa Crook / Periods, Power & Plastic-Free Solutions: Redefining Menstrual Health with Amy Orr

Transcript

Periods, Power & Plastic-Free Solutions: Redefining Menstrual Health with Amy Orr · The FEEL Podcast: Women’s Empowerment, Emotional Wellness and Self-Leadership with Melissa Crook

• 0:00
  Hello, Melissa Crook here from the Field podcast.
• 0:03
  Welcome back this week. Today we have periods power and
• 0:10
  Plastic Free Solutions, redefining menstrual health with
• 0:14
  Amy Orr. This is going to be a good one
• 0:17
  folks. Stay tuned.
• 0:19
  The ways to engage with this episode are as follows.
• 0:23
  If questions come up about your period or sexual health, write
• 0:27
  them down, take them to the doctor's office and ask or if
• 0:31
  your friends have any experience with your questions, talk to
• 0:34
  them about it. It shouldn't be taboo to talk
• 0:38
  about normal functions of the female body, and you are not
• 0:42
  alone in your situation, though it may feel like you are.
• 0:45
  There so many taboos and stigmas around this topic and I'm going
• 0:49
  to add another thing to this. If you're a practitioner,
• 0:53
  gaslights you are anyway and shuts you down or doesn't give
• 0:56
  you answers, look for someone else.
• 0:59
  There's somebody else out there that is wanting and willing to
• 1:03
  help you. If you don't know where to turn,
• 1:05
  reach out to us. Go to our website,
• 1:08
  embracinglayers.com. Go to that connection page, send
• 1:12
  us a question. We have women and resources that
• 1:16
  can give you guidance and direction and at least point you
• 1:20
  in the right trajectory of the kind of support you're looking
• 1:24
  for. We don't have a lot of doctors,
• 1:26
  but we've got resources. But you deserve to be heard and
• 1:30
  listened to and honored on this topic.
• 1:34
  And I want to really emphasize that today.
• 1:36
  I hope you enjoy this really informative, really insightful,
• 1:41
  authentic, honest conversation with our friend Amy Orr.
• 1:45
  Thanks so much for being with us.
• 2:04
  Hello and welcome to the Field podcast.
• 2:06
  Today I'm here with another great connection and friend that
• 2:12
  I've met through our friends at Pod match and this one is coming
• 2:16
  to us from the beautiful Emerald Isle in Ireland.
• 2:21
  So we're excited to have her here today.
• 2:24
  I love these connections that this work makes possible to make
• 2:29
  all over the world because as you listen to Amy's story today,
• 2:33
  it's globally relatable and the resources she's going to share
• 2:37
  with us are globally relatable. So I'm super excited to have Amy
• 2:42
  Orr here with us today. Amy describes herself as a
• 2:45
  learner, curious, passionate and angry.
• 2:51
  And she said the more I learn, the angrier I am.
• 2:54
  And I love that because women are afraid to say they're angry.
• 3:01
  I'm like, no, we thought, let's be angry and let's use that as a
• 3:05
  motivator to move needles and change narratives and make this
• 3:11
  the place we want it to be and all of us doing that together.
• 3:14
  So let's embrace it. Yes, we've got to process it and
• 3:17
  move through it so it doesn't come out in ugly ways, but we
• 3:20
  you can use it as a motivator for change.
• 3:22
  And that's one of the many ways that Amy is showing up in the
• 3:27
  world. So, Amy Orr, welcome to the
• 3:29
  Field podcast. Thank you so much for having me.
• 3:33
  I'm so. Happy you're having you here.
• 3:36
  It's lovely being here. I really enjoyed the panel
• 3:39
  conversation. So yeah, it's nice to kind of be
• 3:43
  able to talk about this a little bit more.
• 3:47
  Yes, and and go back and visit our period panel conversation on
• 3:51
  our YouTube channel if you missed that.
• 3:53
  Lots of great resources there from Amy and a a couple of other
• 3:57
  women from our network. So we will link that in the show
• 4:00
  notes as well. So you get a 2 for one deal with
• 4:02
  Amy this week and for always, not just this week.
• 4:06
  It's there forever for you to have access to, but we're going
• 4:09
  to get right into it. Amy's a busy woman.
• 4:12
  She wears a lot of hats like so many of us.
• 4:14
  And so talk to me about prioritizing self-care in your
• 4:19
  life and what that looks like for you.
• 4:22
  Prioritizing self-care for me first and foremost is
• 4:27
  audiobooks. Yeah, I love a good book.
• 4:34
  I always loved a good book. But like, my kids are 8 and 10
• 4:37
  now. But since having kids, I found
• 4:42
  that I never had time to read. And then come the Evening Times,
• 4:45
  I'd get 2 pages into a book before falling asleep.
• 4:48
  Yeah. And then there's always
• 4:50
  something to do, you know, as a busy mom and especially like,
• 4:55
  wanting to get into the garden, stuff like that, bringing the
• 4:59
  kids to the beach, but not wanting to bring a physical
• 5:01
  book. Yeah.
• 5:05
  Yeah. Audiobooks.
• 5:06
  OK. That's.
• 5:08
  I'm big into my smush A. Good escape is, you know, that
• 5:19
  can be very therapeutic. Like very therapeutic.
• 5:22
  Yeah, yeah. I'm like, I would never used to
• 5:25
  be like, I was always kind of into like fantasy, like I grew
• 5:30
  up breathing Lord of the Rings materials trilogy, Game of
• 5:35
  Thrones. I'm a bit of a nerd, but yeah.
• 5:41
  And then I've discovered a Qatar last year because a friend of
• 5:44
  mine put me onto it. And if you don't know what a
• 5:47
  Qatari is, the Court of Thorns and Roses, it's kind of like
• 5:52
  it's for people who grew up reading Lord of the Rings and
• 5:55
  Harry Potter. And.
• 5:57
  Haven't read anything here is and are looking to get back into
• 6:00
  reading. This is a good place to start.
• 6:02
  So I did that last year and now I've moved beyond, yeah, beyond
• 6:12
  guitar at this stage. But yeah, there's so many great
• 6:17
  stories out there and I love the audiobooks.
• 6:19
  I could just put my headphones on, I can get out into the
• 6:21
  garden. I could sit there on the beach
• 6:23
  while the kids are playing, watch them whilst listening to,
• 6:27
  you know. Yeah.
• 6:29
  Well, you're incorporating a couple of other activities in
• 6:32
  there too that are great. Getting outside, getting in the
• 6:35
  garden, being in nature, being with being at the beach, being
• 6:39
  by the ocean. I mean there's and then you
• 6:41
  could. So there's really multiple ways
• 6:43
  that you've you've made this in. But it's amazing, like you just
• 6:47
  stick them on, do your housework.
• 6:49
  I'm so productive as well when I'm stuck into like A7 series
• 6:54
  audio book. Yeah, I guess.
• 6:56
  It's done, so much done. My house is spotless.
• 7:00
  Because you want to keep listening.
• 7:04
  Mommy's mommy's busy. Mommy's still cleaning.
• 7:11
  I love that though, because you're feeling your cup while
• 7:14
  you're doing a, you know, doing one of those things even it's a
• 7:17
  boat. And I think that's a great
• 7:19
  example of using the time you have.
• 7:22
  It's like this is the time I have this is available.
• 7:25
  I can fill my cup and do do an activity that really nourishes
• 7:30
  me and re energizes me and fills me at the same time as I'm doing
• 7:35
  this other thing. I don't have to wait and just
• 7:37
  hone in on this one thing. That's it.
• 7:40
  Yeah. And there's no guilt either,
• 7:42
  because you are actually doing something.
• 7:44
  Yeah, Yeah. And then there's all the memes
• 7:47
  that come with it, which are highly entertaining.
• 7:52
  Thing is called pebbling. Is it pebbling?
• 7:55
  Have you heard of that term? I have it.
• 7:58
  Where you kind of send your friends like little bit like
• 8:01
  memes and stuff like that. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 8:03
  OK, I can't remember which bird did it, but it was either
• 8:11
  Penguins or something else. But they leave each other kind
• 8:17
  of like little gifts just to show that they care.
• 8:19
  And that's the equivalent of the sending each other memes
• 8:21
  nowadays. Yes, it's called pebbling
• 8:24
  anyway. Okay, memes and probably know
• 8:27
  that my daughters are there. I've got our middle daughter is
• 8:31
  our middle and our youngest. They're like 28 and 26 now.
• 8:35
  But they are the they are the meme.
• 8:37
  They can find the right meme for the moment in the most
• 8:40
  hysterical and appropriate way. I mean, my husband or like, and
• 8:46
  they have a knack for it. And so we'll be in a family chat
• 8:49
  or a conversation and one or both of them also.
• 8:52
  And they almost it's like a meme off.
• 8:53
  They're almost like competing with each other to see you know
• 8:58
  which, who, who can outdo the other.
• 8:59
  Though there's a Schitt's Creek meme.
• 9:03
  That's my middle daughter's favorite one.
• 9:06
  Like 90% of her come from that show and from Laura, yes.
• 9:16
  Amazing, I've never known a series to have so many.
• 9:19
  I know. Memes.
• 9:21
  And they know them all. Yeah, I think I.
• 9:23
  Think that's a fun part, though. I mean, I think we don't talk
• 9:26
  enough about the fact that those kinds of things that make us
• 9:29
  laugh, that make us think of people that we care about that
• 9:34
  Oh my gosh, so and so is going to love this.
• 9:35
  They've got to see this one. That's a motive, if that's a
• 9:38
  self-care piece. It is.
• 9:41
  They bring so much joy, especially there's so much dark
• 9:44
  stuff going on in the world. Right now, yeah, Yeah.
• 9:48
  And just little snippets of joy like that.
• 9:52
  Just. Yeah.
• 9:54
  Yeah, They can really shift where you are in a space.
• 9:57
  I, I, you know, it's funny. I there's been a lot of
• 9:59
  conversations the last couple of weeks with different panelists
• 10:03
  and guests as I've been recording and putting content
• 10:07
  out, talking about this very thing of this space we are in
• 10:10
  the world right now and where we can find our moments of joy and
• 10:14
  create some stability because so many of us have been feeling so
• 10:18
  over amped about. Yeah, what's going on and trying
• 10:23
  to like get our nervous systems like the things that we've been
• 10:27
  doing traditionally are no longer meeting our needs.
• 10:30
  Like we need more of something. And for me, it took me like 3
• 10:34
  months to figure out what I needed And for me, I figured out
• 10:37
  I need to get out in nature more with the people I love and.
• 10:43
  And so that was the thing that. But I think these memes, yeah, I
• 10:46
  think if you. Yeah, you know, Yeah.
• 10:51
  So audio books, OK, you know it's.
• 10:54
  Good memes. Get to the beach, get in the
• 10:56
  garden. Fantasy world and forget about
• 10:59
  all this shit that's going on. I think a friend of mine,
• 11:06
  Gretchen Skoser has, she and her former business partner have a
• 11:12
  podcast called The Shit That Goes On in Our Heads, and I
• 11:16
  think we should have a spin off called The Shit That Goes On in
• 11:19
  Our World. We got to just be a deep brief
• 11:25
  every week, and we can bring all of our favorite memes to kind of
• 11:29
  represent the moments for heaven.
• 11:33
  Could just be memes. I know.
• 11:35
  My gosh. OK, so good.
• 11:37
  All right. Confidently setting boundaries.
• 11:39
  You found these spaces and ways to incorporate these activities
• 11:44
  that nourish you. Talk to me Boundaries is a new
• 11:48
  word in our vocabulary over the last 10 years, I feel like.
• 11:52
  But it's not a new need. We're just kind of naming it
• 11:55
  more. Yeah, it's definitely, it's a
• 12:01
  new concept to a lot of people, yeah.
• 12:05
  And and I I personally think it's something that we all
• 12:10
  should incorporate a lot earlier than we actually do.
• 12:14
  And boundaries for me would be, and it takes a lot of it takes a
• 12:23
  lot to get to this stage. Bush just saying no.
• 12:28
  Yeah, yeah. If there's something that you
• 12:30
  really don't want to do, and I say this to my kids, if there's
• 12:35
  a situation that makes you feel really uncomfortable or someone
• 12:39
  is making you feel uncomfortable, you're somewhere.
• 12:43
  Are there something that you really, really just don't want
• 12:45
  to do, Say no. Yeah, absolutely fine.
• 12:50
  And I've started taking that on board myself.
• 12:52
  And, you know, no. Yeah.
• 12:57
  It's like, it's such a powerful word.
• 13:00
  It's such a simple word, but it's such a hard word for people
• 13:03
  to get out, but so liberating. So liberating.
• 13:10
  Yeah, I think. Relearning, isn't it?
• 13:16
  It is, you know. Relearning and unlearning of
• 13:19
  narratives and stigmas that have been told to us, you know, going
• 13:22
  back to when we were little girls.
• 13:24
  And, you know, it's the idea that several guests have talked
• 13:28
  about this. And we talked about the fact
• 13:30
  that, you know, whenever you're saying yes or no to something.
• 13:34
  Valerie Rivera, a guest in Season 4, and she's coming back.
• 13:37
  She's going to be gone again this season.
• 13:40
  She said something so like simple but profound.
• 13:43
  She's like, remember, whatever you're saying yes to, you're
• 13:46
  saying no to something else. You better be OK with that thing
• 13:51
  you're saying no to. Or if that's a clue that that's
• 13:54
  a yes, that's maybe not for right now or maybe not at all.
• 13:57
  And that's OK and it's. Yeah.
• 14:01
  And then it's OK. It is OK.
• 14:03
  It's pretty hard though. It is it is because we have been
• 14:07
  taught to like and and learning that, like just because it's a
• 14:12
  good thing doesn't mean it's the right thing for us.
• 14:14
  There are a bazillion good things out there in the world
• 14:17
  that doesn't they're not all for all to do all of them all the
• 14:21
  time. I mean, so I think it's just
• 14:23
  that like, OK, make a deal with myself.
• 14:26
  I'm no longer going to abandon myself.
• 14:29
  So if I say yes to this, does it do I feel like I'm abandoning
• 14:32
  myself? And it's like if the answer is
• 14:35
  yes, I do, then the answer is no to that day, yeah.
• 14:39
  Yeah, Did you? Yeah.
• 14:42
  Did you have a a kind of a point in time where you came to
• 14:45
  realizing like this has to start being a part of my regular
• 14:50
  existence? I suppose when Juno was Juno was
• 14:57
  born. She's my my second child.
• 14:59
  Yeah, so. Finn was too.
• 15:02
  She was just born. And like, do you know, I almost
• 15:06
  started with me just not caring about how tidy my house.
• 15:11
  I'm like, you know, the kids. I'm not going to apologize for
• 15:17
  the state of my house. OK?
• 15:19
  Yeah. Always be this way.
• 15:22
  And it's something that my mom always said she was like, enjoy
• 15:25
  them. She was like, I'm so I'll always
• 15:28
  regret not leaving the housework for another day and spending
• 15:33
  more time with you guys. So I was like, do you know OK.
• 15:36
  And I just stopped apologizing to people.
• 15:38
  When people come into the house, you know, you'd automatically be
• 15:41
  like, remember I, I knew a woman and I'd go over to her house and
• 15:46
  we both had two small kids and she was like, oh, excuse the
• 15:49
  state of my house and the house was spotless.
• 15:51
  I'm like. Yeah.
• 15:55
  Those people like and then like friend would come into my house
• 15:59
  and my house would be an actual stage down here.
• 16:03
  Tumbleweeds. I'm like, I'm not sorry.
• 16:06
  This is the season of life we're in.
• 16:07
  You're welcome. And I'm like.
• 16:10
  Pick up the the room. It's right there.
• 16:15
  Great. You know what the?
• 16:18
  Hell, hang out and wash it is laundry baskets right there, you
• 16:24
  know, and I'm like, yeah, it's got enough going on.
• 16:27
  I'm so that I suppose that's where my boundaries started and
• 16:31
  then like I was always self-employed so people just
• 16:36
  assume. Oh.
• 16:38
  Our little business. You know, and it was always,
• 16:43
  like, available to people. And I just had to.
• 16:48
  I really had to set boundaries for that and just stop.
• 16:58
  Yeah. Just say no.
• 16:59
  Like you had, you know, if the kids wanted to go next door to,
• 17:03
  if their cousins wanted to come over.
• 17:06
  No, I'm working, you know, But if they want to take you next
• 17:09
  door, they can. Yeah, yeah.
• 17:11
  And yeah, but no, I'm actually, you know, I'm working and I'd
• 17:17
  rather you guys just stayed here and watch TV so I don't have to
• 17:21
  keep, I don't have to worry about where you are and I can
• 17:23
  keep an eye on you. And to be honest, they're,
• 17:26
  they're so easy. Like there's, they're just so
• 17:28
  used to kind of entertaining each other and they play
• 17:30
  together really well. So that's time.
• 17:34
  Yeah, it is. Yeah, yeah.
• 17:36
  So, I mean, Finn is just mad into his leg.
• 17:39
  Oh, so he'll just entertain himself for hours.
• 17:41
  So he's always been really good like that.
• 17:43
  So yeah, it's it's they've definitely the kids made it
• 17:48
  easier for sure. Yeah.
• 17:50
  You know, you get to the point where you just like families.
• 17:54
  We all like my me and my siblings.
• 17:55
  We all have our own kids now. You know, we'll help each other
• 17:59
  if we can. Bush, you know, we can't always
• 18:03
  be there all the time, you know? And that goes for every, you
• 18:08
  know. Absolutely, absolutely.
• 18:10
  But I definitely. Like for family, you need those
• 18:13
  boundaries with family for sure, because family think that
• 18:17
  because your family, you know, you'll say yes, they just assume
• 18:21
  you'll say yes. So yeah, no.
• 18:26
  Though you brought up some, some, a couple of really key
• 18:29
  points that assumption and you've communicated this.
• 18:32
  So this assumption, oh, she's working from home.
• 18:35
  So she's there, she's available and you're like, no, no, no
• 18:39
  working, working. So, so just pretend I'm at my
• 18:44
  office because my office is here.
• 18:47
  And, and, and but you communicated that rather than
• 18:50
  letting people impose that upon you, You realize that was a no,
• 18:54
  that was a boundary. Also, it's such a gift when your
• 18:56
  kids can learn how to play and entertain themselves and don't
• 19:00
  have to be entertained all the time.
• 19:02
  You're doing them such a service there at you know, in that.
• 19:06
  And also with the family piece, I think there's, and I think
• 19:10
  generationally we're starting to see shifts here.
• 19:12
  It's like we don't show up all the time, everywhere to the
• 19:16
  detriment of ourselves and, and, and with codependency and trauma
• 19:20
  bonds and all those things. And we, we said that we love
• 19:23
  each other when we have these things going on.
• 19:25
  And when one family member, you know, starts doing it, it kind
• 19:29
  of gives permission for the other family members too.
• 19:32
  And also and creating a culture around that of like, we got to
• 19:36
  do things in a way that's healthy.
• 19:38
  So when we show up and are with each other, we're present, we
• 19:41
  want to be there. We're not feeling like here I am
• 19:43
  again. I mean, there's, I think that's
• 19:45
  such a great point. Yeah, yeah, for sure.
• 19:49
  And it's not easy. I mean, you feel really guilty.
• 19:53
  You're like, oh, you know, I'm the asshole who said no, we have
• 19:58
  to. Get past that, you know, Yeah, I
• 20:03
  don't want you to hate me because I said no, but like, I
• 20:06
  could, you know, like I really just don't want to.
• 20:09
  So yeah. And they'll get over it.
• 20:11
  They will. They'll get over it, honestly.
• 20:14
  Yeah, and do you want you in that irritated state anyway?
• 20:17
  I mean, you're nobody wins. Yeah, yeah.
• 20:23
  It's like when I'm listening to my audio book, you know, it's
• 20:26
  like exactly, don't interrupt me.
• 20:28
  You don't want, you wouldn't like me when you interrupted.
• 20:32
  I never said that's so good. Oh my gosh.
• 20:35
  Well, this, this next piece here and really all of it ties in
• 20:38
  this next piece here, the connection between mental,
• 20:41
  emotional, physical, spiritual health.
• 20:43
  You have very real experiences with this.
• 20:46
  You have your own journey that is informed the work that you do
• 20:51
  now and how you show up in the world.
• 20:53
  You've had your own period health journey, endometriosis
• 20:57
  that was just recently diagnosed.
• 20:59
  I mean, so, and you saw the need for real conversations, real
• 21:07
  honest talk, starting with our children, with our kids, with
• 21:12
  our, our, you know, middle schoolers and, and, and letting
• 21:15
  them know what's actually happening in their bodies.
• 21:18
  So they're equipped and know the questions to ask.
• 21:21
  So that they're not waiting until they are well into
• 21:25
  adulthood and parenting the next generation and suffering.
• 21:31
  And before they have, you know, this, this, these resources.
• 21:35
  So and the impact and but talk to me too could be because
• 21:40
  there's a not just the physical, but how that impacted has
• 21:43
  impacted you emotionally and mentally and really driven you
• 21:47
  to do this work you do today. Yeah.
• 21:51
  So I'm actually I'm not diagnosed yet.
• 21:55
  Oh, you're not OK? No.
• 21:56
  So I I did start the process in January.
• 22:01
  I was talking to you about but I still don't have a diagnosis but
• 22:06
  I am heading to I'm so I'm travelling to a little back
• 22:10
  story. So I've always had painful
• 22:12
  periods and I was speaking with a friend last year.
• 22:18
  She made me realize that this level of pain isn't normal and I
• 22:23
  think I've just been in denial for the last 21 years.
• 22:25
  So I went to my GP back in January and she referred me to a
• 22:30
  gynecologist in Waterford City. There is a 70 or 57 week wait
• 22:37
  list to see her goodness because she takes on both private and
• 22:42
  public patients and that would have been like private.
• 22:44
  So my doctor referred me to another gynecologist.
• 22:51
  So I had to travel like an hour to see her.
• 22:54
  Now, this gynecologist was recommended to my doctor by a
• 22:57
  colleague of hers. And so she didn't really know
• 23:01
  anything about her, but I put her name up in my like enemy
• 23:06
  Geosis support group. And I got a really good, you
• 23:08
  know, OK, it was really positive comment, the better.
• 23:12
  And so I went in really optimistic, you know, and my
• 23:17
  doctor was like, OK, you, you know, you need a laparoscopy.
• 23:19
  So I'm going to refer you to a gynecologist and then a
• 23:22
  gynecologist has to refer you for that.
• 23:24
  OK So I went in and like I'm a 37 year old woman, I know my own
• 23:31
  body, I've been seeing my doctor since I was 18.
• 23:35
  She knows me as well and she knows that I can advocate for
• 23:39
  myself. This gynecologist was just so
• 23:45
  awful. Wasn't like rude or anything,
• 23:51
  she was just, she was so condescending.
• 23:54
  And I made the appointment and it was such a waste of time and
• 23:58
  money. And I came out as appointment
• 23:59
  and I sat in the car and I had a little cry because I was just so
• 24:04
  frustrated. OK, not not for me, OK.
• 24:10
  Because I know I always knew that I was going to go travel to
• 24:13
  this clinic, this endometriosis center that specializes in
• 24:18
  endometriosis, this gynecologist that work with this a full
• 24:22
  disciplinary team of surgeons that specialize in
• 24:25
  endometriosis. So I always knew that I would be
• 24:27
  going here, but I figured I might as well see gynecologist
• 24:33
  here while I was at it and you know.
• 24:36
  Yeah. See what all fuss is about.
• 24:39
  But yeah, I'm still on the wiser.
• 24:41
  So I just, I, because it was so upsetting for like all these
• 24:46
  young women who don't know and like as soon I sat down and she
• 24:52
  wanted me to go on the coil and I was like, I don't want to go
• 24:55
  on the coil. And she was like, OK, she's
• 24:59
  like, then we'll put you on, I don't know the name of this deca
• 25:05
  septal or something. So it's basically medically
• 25:09
  induced menopause. She's like, we see how you do
• 25:13
  that, your boom. And then we might consider like,
• 25:15
  and then we can, you know, depending on how you get on
• 25:19
  without your room for a few months, we can look at a
• 25:21
  hysterectomy. And I was like, whoa, wow.
• 25:25
  Like that's the best you? Can do like, yeah.
• 25:30
  And I was like, yeah, I was like, like, do I have it or not?
• 25:35
  Like. And like she didn't recommend a
• 25:41
  laparoscopy at all. She didn't refer me for one.
• 25:44
  She wanted me to get pelvic ultrasound again, an updated one
• 25:50
  because even though it's not a really good screening tool for
• 25:56
  endometriosis, might necessarily be picked up by pelvic
• 26:01
  ultrasound. So yeah, so I'm, that's square
• 26:07
  one. I have booked surgery for
• 26:09
  Greece, so I'm travelling there at the end of September.
• 26:13
  OK. Well, I have a.
• 26:15
  Consultation and then I have a pre op and then an operation
• 26:19
  date if I need surgery. Sure, yeah, sure.
• 26:24
  Yes, that's that. And I was giving a talk last
• 26:30
  week. It was an amazing talk to girls.
• 26:33
  They were between 15 and 21 years of age.
• 26:35
  They're kind of in like a post. It's not mainstream schools, so
• 26:40
  it's school for school leavers, I suppose.
• 26:44
  Yeah, they do applied leaving certificate exams and stuff like
• 26:48
  that, so. OK.
• 26:53
  And they were just asking me questions about what do they do
• 26:56
  next, you know, So we were talking about endometriosis and
• 27:01
  adenomyosis and Pecos. And they're like, where what do
• 27:04
  we do? Where do we go?
• 27:05
  And I actually just didn't have the answers for them.
• 27:08
  And it was really bad. It was really upsetting.
• 27:12
  Yeah. And that's why I'm angry.
• 27:14
  You know, I'm like, like one girl was waiting to see her GP
• 27:19
  for three months because she's in so much pain, has to go on
• 27:24
  the coil, was like getting pelvic ultrasound.
• 27:29
  And she can't get her GP to refer her for pelvic ultrasound.
• 27:34
  Wow. So she's just in pain every
• 27:37
  month and she's just waiting. And it's like, how long does she
• 27:42
  have to wait for? And then what kind of advice is
• 27:44
  she going to get when she does? Yeah, we get seen, you know, and
• 27:49
  that's really. And the more I'm learning, yeah,
• 27:52
  the angrier. Yeah.
• 27:55
  Yeah. Well, and it's just like you do
• 27:57
  this shouldn't be this hard. And, and you know, you were on a
• 28:00
  panel with two other women who have resources that they offer
• 28:05
  that that people can try that. And these things work for some
• 28:09
  people and they don't work for some people.
• 28:11
  And you know, so it's and, and we have those resources on our
• 28:14
  website and we'll include them in the show notes in this one as
• 28:18
  well. Just so if it's something y'all,
• 28:20
  if you're listening or like this is me too.
• 28:22
  If you want to try what Isabella Thor and Valencia San Louis
• 28:26
  utilize to see if it might work for you, we will.
• 28:29
  But we will provide that for you also.
• 28:33
  We have our medical practices and practitioners and medical
• 28:38
  schools have to do better by women in this area.
• 28:41
  They have to do better. There has to be better answers.
• 28:44
  And I think there's nothing more frustrating to me than when a
• 28:49
  woman gaslights another woman. That to me is like, that's so
• 28:55
  anti helpful. Like we need to be supporting
• 28:59
  each other. And we talk, we'll be talking
• 29:01
  about this in a couple of minutes.
• 29:03
  The importance of showing up unapologetically and supporting
• 29:07
  other women in living unapologetically.
• 29:09
  Yeah. And you know, and so I guess you
• 29:12
  know, my ask of of the medical community is please get curious
• 29:16
  about this and please assign more than just a side actual
• 29:22
  time and research to help women who struggle with this and get
• 29:28
  them a plethora of resources because our bodies are all
• 29:32
  unique. And some bodies will respond to
• 29:35
  these resources that we know about now and some bodies won't.
• 29:39
  And so finding your space and place, but you should never be
• 29:43
  gas lit. You should always be supported
• 29:46
  and it needs to really be motivated by curiosity and
• 29:50
  empathy and a desire for women to have real answers and choices
• 29:57
  and, and, and and this impact that this kind of the
• 30:02
  discouragement, the anger, what it does to your mental health,
• 30:06
  the anxiety about what's happening with your body.
• 30:09
  This, this is a classic example of the impacts these things have
• 30:13
  on our mental emotional, physical health.
• 30:16
  When I look about you are so determined and you you keep
• 30:20
  fighting for this and for yourself every day.
• 30:24
  Talk to people. And this goes nicely into our
• 30:27
  next talking point of showing up for yourself and other women
• 30:30
  unapologetically. You have educated yourself.
• 30:34
  Talk to what you about how you talk to teenagers specifically.
• 30:40
  But you talked to me about this got the greatest little model of
• 30:45
  what our organs look like that I've ever seen in my life.
• 30:49
  It's my favorite thing. We talked about it extensively
• 30:51
  on the panel. We made her get it out and show
• 30:53
  it to us. She's got it right here again.
• 30:56
  But talk to me about. Yeah, I love it so much.
• 31:00
  So I talked about that, like how this motivated you into this
• 31:04
  space and work that you do now. So I ran like a plastic free
• 31:13
  online business. So I set it up in 2018 and I
• 31:19
  always gave kind of talks and workshops about all areas of
• 31:23
  plastic free living and yeah. And everything I sold was
• 31:28
  reusable, refillable. And, but I was always really
• 31:34
  passionate about periods and, and I always like, I discovered
• 31:40
  like the cloth pads and I started stocking them and
• 31:45
  having, they started opening up the conversations with people.
• 31:49
  So I started off doing markets and people would come over and
• 31:52
  they'd be like, oh, it's this. And I'd be like, oh, it's a
• 31:54
  cloth pad. So work the same way, looks the
• 31:56
  same way. And I remember my first market,
• 32:00
  I answered so many questions about them, but I didn't sell
• 32:04
  any. But I'd opened up the
• 32:07
  conversations, like answered people's questions.
• 32:10
  And then the next market, the next month, a couple of people
• 32:13
  came back and they're like, I was here last month.
• 32:15
  So I'm gonna actually just buy one to try.
• 32:19
  Yeah. And then some people just
• 32:20
  exclusively use these now and they use reusables.
• 32:24
  One of my friends hasn't used any kind of disposable product
• 32:28
  in seven years. So yeah, which is amazing, you
• 32:36
  know? So I was like, you know what,
• 32:38
  I'd really love to. Unfortunately for such a rich
• 32:43
  country, period poverty is a real issue here in Ireland.
• 32:49
  And the government did bring in this incentive.
• 32:51
  So the libraries get free period products.
• 32:55
  Every Public Library has free period products, OK, that get
• 33:00
  given to them by the council. So the council, the local
• 33:02
  councils get a budget from the government, they buy the
• 33:06
  products, distribute them to the libraries.
• 33:08
  So the libraries always have. So anyone could go into a Public
• 33:12
  Library bathroom, take what they need as much as they need.
• 33:17
  And yeah. And it's it's completely free
• 33:20
  and they're always there, they're always available, but
• 33:24
  they're all disposable. And I was thinking, I did a talk
• 33:28
  with some girls in Trinity College about plastic
• 33:31
  indisposables. And we're talking about they
• 33:36
  had, they were working with a company in Cork, they're called
• 33:40
  We Are Riley. So they make organic cotton pads
• 33:43
  and tampons and they're an amazing company, amazing
• 33:48
  company. So they, Trinity College, these
• 33:52
  students had funding to supply 3 bathrooms in the entire campus
• 34:00
  in three of the buildings with free period products.
• 34:05
  So the students were able to take them whatever they needed
• 34:09
  and they were in all the toilets.
• 34:11
  And then the funding ran out and then went out and then that was
• 34:17
  it. People were left with no access
• 34:19
  to these products all of a sudden.
• 34:21
  And whereas if they were reusables, they would have at
• 34:24
  least exactly been able to use them again and again and again,
• 34:29
  like these can last for up to five years.
• 34:31
  Same. With period pants, men's cups
• 34:35
  and discs can last for up to 10 years.
• 34:37
  Yeah. Do you know what I mean?
• 34:39
  Like they're really, over time, they're a really cost effective
• 34:43
  option for people and they're healthy as well.
• 34:46
  And and then I just started thinking, why should a student
• 34:49
  have to go without? Why should they have to choose
• 34:52
  between not having anything or a toxic always plastic pads.
• 35:00
  You know which there's a study done a couple of years ago where
• 35:05
  there was like heavy metals found in tampons.
• 35:07
  How many brands one was it like stupid amounts?
• 35:12
  Just different brands. Wow.
• 35:16
  And there's all these, these toxic metals and chemicals, like
• 35:21
  high levels found, which is really scary.
• 35:26
  So like, why should a woman have to choose between not having
• 35:32
  anything or you step between a rock and a hard place?
• 35:36
  Yeah, so then I had such a great feedback over the years to the
• 35:42
  cloth pads that I decided to. And I loved giving talks and
• 35:48
  workshops and I loved opening up the conversation specifically
• 35:51
  around periods and women's bodies and all the rest of the
• 35:54
  last five years I've had so many conversations with people and I
• 35:57
  really loved it. And I thought, well, you know,
• 36:02
  why don't we try and get this into schools?
• 36:05
  So I designed workshop. It's called Navigating Periods
• 36:09
  of Confidence. So it's basically covers and
• 36:17
  it's surrounded by, it basically covers everything.
• 36:24
  The whole point of it is to open up the conversation around
• 36:27
  periods because the more you de stigmatize something, the more
• 36:30
  you talk about something, the less of a taboo it is.
• 36:33
  And we've come a long way recently in terms of mental
• 36:37
  health and opening up about that.
• 36:39
  And it's benefited so many people.
• 36:41
  And one of the things that I bring into my workshop is I get
• 36:45
  the students to write down and think about different topics and
• 36:50
  discussion private topics and open topics.
• 36:54
  And then we go through their list and we have a look and we
• 36:56
  have a discussion around what private topics could we benefit
• 37:03
  by opening up about. You know, and a lot of that
• 37:08
  would be sex, periods, you know, family issues, mental health is
• 37:15
  a really good example of private topics that has had huge benefit
• 37:20
  for people by talking about it openly.
• 37:23
  And so and then like, once you put it in that way, they're
• 37:26
  like, well, yeah, OK, yeah. You know, like you always feel
• 37:29
  better after talking to your friends about stuff.
• 37:32
  Helps you feel a little less alone and, and the more and that
• 37:37
  can be empowering as well. So it starts there knowing that
• 37:43
  you're not the only one going through this and it can like
• 37:48
  relate to anything, whether it's parenting, periods, you know,
• 37:54
  sex, like there's someone out there who has gone through the
• 37:59
  exact same thing that you're going through right now.
• 38:01
  You're not alone. And I suppose it's one of the
• 38:05
  best things about the Internet is knowing that.
• 38:08
  Yeah, it's so easy to find those people now.
• 38:11
  Yeah. Whereas like, in my mom's day,
• 38:14
  growing up in, like, Yeah. So I mean, she was born in 49.
• 38:22
  So, like, they didn't have those resources and everything was
• 38:27
  such a taboo. Yeah.
• 38:29
  And it still is here in Ireland. But the more we talk about it,
• 38:33
  and it's likely using different language, opening up about the
• 38:36
  importance of language as well. And like, there's so many
• 38:39
  different words out there for periods.
• 38:41
  There's so many different words out there for the Bulba.
• 38:44
  They're all designed. And some of them might be funny
• 38:46
  and, you know, it's a bit of crack, It's a bit of fun,
• 38:48
  whatever. Some of them are really
• 38:50
  entertaining. OK.
• 38:52
  But at the end of the day, those words exist as a way of
• 39:00
  silencing women. Yep.
• 39:04
  Because, you know, and some of them can be really derogatory.
• 39:08
  And I think we need to try and, like, wrestle that back, you
• 39:13
  know? Yeah, there's the Yeah Tuesday
• 39:15
  word. And a lot of people don't like
• 39:18
  it, but you know, it's a great word.
• 39:24
  Yeah. I hate the fact that it's all
• 39:27
  sometimes referred to as like the C word because the C word
• 39:31
  and like the vulva and cancer 2 completely different things.
• 39:36
  Yeah, you know what I mean? You cannot.
• 39:40
  I don't want to. You cares me.
• 39:42
  I don't want to say it now because I know a lot of people
• 39:44
  like get offended by it, but like, see you next Tuesday word
• 39:48
  like it's just another word for the vulva.
• 39:52
  And it's a great word and it's a really strong word.
• 39:56
  I think we need to kind of take it back.
• 39:58
  Yes, because it's part of our bodies.
• 40:00
  I think I'd love that you brought that up.
• 40:03
  Yeah. And that's where your diagram
• 40:06
  comes in. So you go in and you're talking
• 40:07
  to these young girls, a lot of like, what?
• 40:10
  Middle school. High school age.
• 40:12
  Kids. But you're also talking.
• 40:14
  To the boys and boys as well. Yeah, yeah.
• 40:19
  And you and you bring this the. Boys are so the boys are so
• 40:24
  curious. Yeah.
• 40:25
  There's, there's so many amazing questions.
• 40:28
  They want to know that stuff. Yeah.
• 40:31
  They see, like, women in their families going through this
• 40:35
  anonymity. Yeah.
• 40:41
  Every month I got my words jumbled every month.
• 40:45
  And they've no idea what to do. Like, like, how can they help?
• 40:51
  Is there anything they can do? And there's so many amazing
• 40:55
  questions. I did a talk a couple of weeks
• 40:57
  ago with 5th and 6th class boys and girls.
• 41:01
  So they would be from age 11 to 13, right?
• 41:04
  Yeah. And the boys are present for the
• 41:07
  first half of the talk and then they head off and then the girls
• 41:10
  kind of tend to open up a bit more.
• 41:12
  But the boys had some really amazing questions.
• 41:16
  And I was going through the symptoms of premenstrual
• 41:19
  syndrome and I was like, so boys, now that you know that all
• 41:26
  the things that women in your, the women in your household are
• 41:29
  experiencing every month and what they're going through, how
• 41:31
  do you think, what ways do you reckon that you can, because
• 41:36
  there are ways that you can help them, but what do you think you
• 41:40
  could particularly specifically do to help, you know, And one
• 41:45
  guy was like, stay out of the way.
• 41:52
  Annoy them. Yeah.
• 41:55
  Yeah. Well, yeah, it can be as simple
• 41:57
  as that, you know? Yeah.
• 42:00
  Don't be difficult. Don't you know, just stay out
• 42:05
  away. But it's, it's such a simple
• 42:09
  thing. And like, they were, so they
• 42:11
  were so funny. And they're like, OK.
• 42:14
  And then I was explaining like, I was like, you could go to the
• 42:17
  shop. And I mean, you might need to go
• 42:19
  to the shop someday and get like, pads and tampons.
• 42:23
  And they were like, what's tampon?
• 42:25
  You know? So like, they're only 1112.
• 42:28
  So yeah. But now they know what tampons
• 42:31
  are. So they know more than those
• 42:33
  men, but. You.
• 42:36
  Yeah, you. Yeah.
• 42:41
  Like 11 year old boys now to what?
• 42:43
  This 12 year old boys that I spoke to probably know more now
• 42:49
  than their fathers do. Yeah, yeah.
• 42:52
  Maybe. Maybe.
• 42:54
  Yeah, I mean, I think that and you presented it in an
• 42:57
  educational way in a safe environment with fats.
• 43:01
  And that's why I love the I mean, I keep referring to your
• 43:03
  diagram because it's this mid diagram of of women's organs and
• 43:09
  it's got all the layers, It's got the vulva, the clitoris,
• 43:12
  it's got everything in there. It's like this is a part of how
• 43:17
  women are made and this is a part of our bodies.
• 43:20
  And how do we? Let's talk about how these
• 43:23
  things function. Let's talk about respectful
• 43:26
  words and language around them. This isn't scary.
• 43:29
  No one's head's going to explode, right?
• 43:34
  Exactly. And if you educate and come in
• 43:37
  from that approach of creating education, inviting questions
• 43:42
  and curiosity, you remove stigmas, you remove stereotypes,
• 43:46
  you remove the sarcastic because people create sarcastic things
• 43:51
  around things that they're uncomfortable with, that they're
• 43:54
  defensive about, that they don't understand.
• 43:57
  If we can create a education and a knowledge, then they feel
• 44:02
  empowered, then they understand they're just, it's just, it's a
• 44:07
  game changer. And we have missed some such
• 44:11
  for. Sure.
• 44:13
  Yeah. And to them, through anything
• 44:16
  and everything in their lives, you know, if they know me, they
• 44:20
  get to know their bodies like, and I keep, I keep one thing I
• 44:25
  really drive home in my talks is that doctors are amazing.
• 44:29
  There's some amazing doctors out there, but you know your body
• 44:33
  better than anyone else. It's like talking to a parent.
• 44:37
  You know your child better than anyone else.
• 44:39
  Yeah. So doctors, at the end of the
• 44:42
  day, they're amazing, but they're human happen.
• 44:47
  And unfortunately, there's a lot of medical gas lighting,
• 44:49
  especially in the area of like Women's Health.
• 44:53
  Yes. Well, the more that you know
• 44:55
  about yourself and the more that you talk to people, the more
• 44:59
  that you realize that what you're experiencing is perfectly
• 45:02
  normal and you're not alone. You know you have that
• 45:07
  information and you can go in with that information and you
• 45:10
  can. And if you have someone in your
• 45:12
  corner, even better, whether it's your home I get.
• 45:16
  Another thing I always state is it's always important that we
• 45:18
  have some person in our lives, even just one person that you
• 45:23
  can go and you can talk to and that they will fight your corner
• 45:26
  for you. They will help advocate for you.
• 45:29
  If you can't advocate for yourself, whether it's a best
• 45:33
  friend, an aunt, could even be a teacher, you know, and it
• 45:36
  doesn't necessarily have to be in terms of like health.
• 45:39
  It could be in terms of like your school, anything, it could
• 45:43
  be any life, you know. So it's just opening up the
• 45:48
  conversation and taking back a bit of the power because Women's
• 45:54
  Health is like got a long way to go.
• 46:00
  And that's. What we have to have these
• 46:02
  conversations and we have to have, I'm like, the first time
• 46:05
  you explain this to me, the first time we visited.
• 46:08
  And then I was just like, how do we put Amy in a bottle and, and
• 46:13
  put her in all the schools around the world?
• 46:15
  Because what you're doing is so important and so necessary.
• 46:21
  And it's like, it's like getting upstream from a problem.
• 46:24
  Like instead of being reactionary downstream, let's
• 46:27
  get upstream and educate and empower on the front side and
• 46:32
  that create more opportunities to remove stigmas and
• 46:36
  stereotypes and create safety around these conversations and
• 46:40
  empowerment. And and also for boys, you know,
• 46:44
  and the grow into men that they understand how to support and
• 46:47
  show up and have empathy and and curiosity, you know.
• 46:53
  Yeah, I mean, most of them are probably going to Jesus.
• 46:56
  Some of them might end up being gynecologists.
• 46:59
  Do you know what I mean? Like, they need this stuff.
• 47:03
  They need to have empathy. One really good example of how
• 47:10
  opening up the conversation can really help.
• 47:12
  So again, going back to that small country school where I was
• 47:15
  talking with boys. So the boys left the talk and it
• 47:20
  was just the girls. There was only a handful of
• 47:22
  girls. So they're between the ages of
• 47:23
  11 and 13. And one girl was like, she's
• 47:27
  like, I have my, she opened up. She was like, I have my period.
• 47:31
  She was like, it's really kind of daunting knowing that I'm
• 47:35
  like the only one in class who has my period.
• 47:37
  And then another girl was like, well, I have my period.
• 47:40
  And she was like, Oh my gosh, the only one.
• 47:45
  Oh, my God, they were so happy. But like, if it wasn't for that
• 47:50
  talk or that workshop, they would never have known that the
• 47:54
  other is gone, what they're going through.
• 47:57
  And they would have continued to feel so isolated and alone.
• 48:01
  Yeah, well, the joy in her face just knowing that she wasn't the
• 48:07
  only one out of the tire, all her group of peers that was
• 48:12
  experiencing this. Yeah, yeah.
• 48:16
  And it was just, it was really, it was lovely.
• 48:19
  And it's just so many little things like that in each of the
• 48:25
  talks and workshops. And I'm constantly learning,
• 48:28
  like constantly learning, learning from the kids as well.
• 48:33
  One thing really interesting thing I'll tell you now, never
• 48:37
  stop learning, right? Because I learned that when we
• 48:42
  were born, our inner labia, it's there, but it actually, once we
• 48:50
  reach puberty, it grows. Oh yeah.
• 48:55
  And then when we reach menopause, it shrinks again.
• 48:58
  Oh wow. I don't know why.
• 49:01
  I didn't know that I. Mean we're not born with it
• 49:04
  being like the size it is. It actually grows throughout our
• 49:07
  lifetime and then it shrinks back again.
• 49:11
  And I was like, wow, 37 years old and we did not know.
• 49:17
  But now I know, you know, you know, I think like it blows the
• 49:25
  kids minds. Like I talk about this with the
• 49:28
  teenagers more. So I'm like the clitoris, which
• 49:31
  you learn more about, wasn't actually included in medical
• 49:36
  texts until 2006. My gosh.
• 49:40
  Because it wasn't deemed as like an important part.
• 49:44
  It's a female anatomy and it's like this.
• 49:46
  As you know, would fit me. Pleasure is not important.
• 49:51
  Pleasure. You're not supposed to.
• 49:52
  Yeah. Literally like there's, you
• 49:56
  know, it's like a gland. So wow.
• 50:00
  And then we. Didn't get clitorises at in
• 50:05
  2006. Meet Adam since time began.
• 50:09
  So I mean, I told you that Lady garden.
• 50:14
  I mean that's an example. I mean, Oh my gosh.
• 50:21
  I mean you and I talked we talked about this on the panels.
• 50:23
  I've talked about this on other conversations with my friend
• 50:26
  Doctor Fannie Label and Jaren are the people that I literally
• 50:31
  did not know I had a clitoris or what it did until my early 30s.
• 50:37
  No one ever told me. Because of all the stigmas that
• 50:40
  exist around sex and sexual health and periods and and how
• 50:48
  our bodies work and having babies and and pleasure and all
• 50:54
  the faith spaces and cultural narratives boring to what's
• 50:58
  appropriate to talk about, not talk about.
• 51:01
  And it's like this is all part of how we're made.
• 51:03
  And if we understand that and know that and educate everyone
• 51:08
  about that, we can talk about it in an educational, respectful,
• 51:13
  honoring manner and also realize, oh gosh, there's
• 51:17
  something literally in our bodies designed for us to
• 51:19
  experience pleasure. So if you know, for me and my
• 51:23
  belief system, if God put it in my body, I'm sure he meant for
• 51:27
  me to use it. He experienced so much pain, at
• 51:32
  least with the worm. You know, when you are, when you
• 51:35
  are giving birth. Absolutely, absolutely.
• 51:40
  Oh my God, period. Any women across the board, I
• 51:43
  mean period for all the things we've been through periods,
• 51:45
  menopause, none of us skip escape that no, it's another
• 51:49
  example. But when I I know I keep turning
• 51:52
  back to your diagram, but it makes it approachable.
• 51:55
  It's not this cold picture on a wall.
• 51:58
  It's very friendly. It's very.
• 52:01
  It's I don't even know if you can see she has like a little
• 52:08
  pension to detail. Yeah, the company, the company
• 52:12
  that I work with, they're called Ecofem, They're based in India
• 52:17
  and they crochet these. I think every as you teach
• 52:21
  anybody who's teaching about this part of to kids in their
• 52:26
  health and how their systems and bodies.
• 52:29
  All the parts work should have one of these because it breaks.
• 52:32
  It makes the like when you're pointing to a cold and like a
• 52:34
  picture on the wall and people are uncomfortable in their own
• 52:38
  room. If you if you have this kind of
• 52:40
  knitted like and you and you present it, this is the layers
• 52:43
  of how things are. It makes it takes away all that
• 52:47
  fear in weirdness. What blows students minds is
• 52:53
  that this is pretty much life-size.
• 52:56
  Yeah, this is. What it looks like.
• 52:58
  Yeah. When it's inside, you know, but
• 53:02
  it is essentially the size of your fist.
• 53:05
  Yeah. And like, so many of them are
• 53:06
  like. Yeah.
• 53:10
  But like, it's, it's, she is literally tiny but mighty.
• 53:15
  She's one of the strongest muscles in the female body.
• 53:19
  She literally supports life. Yeah.
• 53:24
  And she can be a right pain. Literally it's.
• 53:31
  It is fascinating and I would go going back to the fact that this
• 53:34
  is a life supporting form in our bodies and how much power is
• 53:37
  within that. It goes any kind of like it's
• 53:40
  not always about the size. There's so much power that
• 53:46
  exists within us, in so many. It's like my daughter, you know?
• 53:51
  It's small, can create so much aggro.
• 53:58
  Oh. My gosh, love you.
• 54:02
  Like a carbon copy of me so Oh. It comes around, doesn't it?
• 54:06
  Yeah, 100%. Like she doesn't that stuff and
• 54:11
  I get like splashbacks. Yeah.
• 54:15
  To me, when I was that age and doing the exact same thing, I'm
• 54:19
  like wow. Yeah.
• 54:21
  So this is what it's like on the other side of.
• 54:23
  That like I made this my responsibility, but yeah, like
• 54:36
  she's only age and she's so curious and she's full of
• 54:40
  questions and I tried to answer them for her as age
• 54:42
  appropriately as I can, but yeah, she's just, she's just so
• 54:48
  curious. Kids that age really are.
• 54:50
  And I hand out like feedback forms to all the students are
• 54:56
  completely anonymous questions are what age are you?
• 55:01
  Do you have your periods? What age were you when you
• 55:04
  started your period? What products do you use?
• 55:06
  Do you ever struggle to afford period products?
• 55:08
  And then I get their feedback on how they felt coming into the
• 55:10
  talk and after the talk. And, and then like when I'm
• 55:15
  going through the forms and entering in the data, like I'm
• 55:20
  seeing the ages that some of them are when they're getting
• 55:22
  their periods and they're like age and nine.
• 55:25
  Wow. Which means that potentially
• 55:29
  there's some girls in my son's class who've already started
• 55:33
  their periods. And it's just really sad.
• 55:36
  It's this girls my daughter's age out there who've started
• 55:39
  their period. And it's it's really unfair, to
• 55:41
  be honest. Yeah.
• 55:43
  But the average age I found is between 11:00 and 12:00.
• 55:48
  OK. Which is still.
• 55:49
  Quite young. It's that's even changed because
• 55:52
  I think when I was growing up I was 12, almost 13.
• 55:55
  It was like the summer before my 7th grade year and I think at my
• 56:00
  age, 12 to 13 was the average. So it's, and there's a whole
• 56:05
  conversation around how what we put into our bodies and the
• 56:10
  hormones that are in them, you know?
• 56:13
  Food and our food. Impacts think these things
• 56:17
  starting earlier and because it's one thing it you know,
• 56:22
  there's a there's a lot of beautiful parts to it, but also
• 56:26
  we want to make sure that it's really starts when it's meant
• 56:31
  to, you know, and you know, and being able to meet them.
• 56:34
  And so being mindful of how we're not just feeding
• 56:36
  ourselves, but our kids and the impact those things have on
• 56:39
  their bodies and their development, I think is a big
• 56:42
  part of this conversation. Because emotionally that's
• 56:47
  really something for an 8 and 9 year old.
• 56:50
  It's a lot for a 10 year old. I mean, when I was growing up,
• 56:52
  if you were, I had a few friends that were in 4th grade, 4th
• 56:56
  grade here, you turn 10. Yeah, that were in 4th grade
• 56:59
  that started their periods and they were way ahead of everybody
• 57:02
  else. And those poor girls, I mean,
• 57:04
  they had their periods first. They got boobs first.
• 57:07
  I mean, all these things and they.
• 57:09
  And because we weren't having these open conversations with
• 57:13
  girls and boys, the kind of teasing and things that they had
• 57:16
  to put up with, that comes from not knowing, that comes from
• 57:20
  stereotypes, that comes from stigmas.
• 57:23
  If we can get this education in these hands, we're saving those
• 57:27
  kinds of things from happening too.
• 57:29
  You know that that that really are hard and that we're, you
• 57:33
  know, you're figuring out what to do with this changing body of
• 57:36
  yours. And you're not always
• 57:38
  emotionally maturity wise at where your body is, so having as
• 57:44
  much support in safety and education as possible with for
• 57:49
  you and the people in your circle are so important.
• 57:54
  Yeah, so important. And like one thing that I talk
• 57:56
  about in my talk is I talk about the different changes that
• 58:02
  they've noticed not just in themselves but in their friends.
• 58:08
  And I try and drive home the fact that everybody develops at
• 58:12
  a different age. Like you'll get there eventually
• 58:15
  and don't feel bad so that your body, if you're the first one or
• 58:21
  you're the last one, you'll get there eventually.
• 58:23
  It's like learning to read. You're not going to leave
• 58:26
  school. Yeah, not you had to read.
• 58:30
  Yeah, I mean like you. Get whether you're struggling at
• 58:32
  the moment, you will get there. Yeah, I'm so, yeah, I just,
• 58:39
  it's, I think it's so important because there's so much change
• 58:45
  going on and then they're noticing all these changes.
• 58:47
  And then as they get older, some that are might be late bloomers,
• 58:53
  might start to be really self-conscious about it's, it's
• 58:56
  yeah, that. Was that was just going to touch
• 58:58
  on that piece and at the end of the spectrum, you got the 14 and
• 59:01
  15 year old that's like, Oh my gosh, I'm never going to start
• 59:04
  my period and everyone. And it's like it's just.
• 59:09
  Yeah. I don't know which is worse, so
• 59:10
  which is better? I know, I know.
• 59:13
  But that goes back to like creating these safe spaces so
• 59:16
  they feel seeing known and heard and not feel judged and ashamed
• 59:20
  and embarrassed. I mean, and there's so many of
• 59:23
  these shame and embarrassment and not and not feeling safe
• 59:28
  narratives get planted at such an early age, and then we carry
• 59:31
  them into adulthood and we're left to unpack and unravel them
• 59:35
  later. If if we ever do so, yeah, you
• 59:41
  know. And so as adults around these
• 59:44
  these kids, it's important that they're that we're mindful as
• 59:48
  adults on how we talk about these things and how we educate
• 59:51
  so that we don't feed into the fear and the narratives and the
• 59:55
  stereotypes. I mean it's a multi generational
• 59:58
  complex thing that can really be simplified if we can embrace it.
• 1:00:03
  And, and embrace the this is part of our body.
• 1:00:06
  This is part of our makeup, don't we?
• 1:00:08
  We want to understand how our heart works.
• 1:00:10
  We want to understand how our lungs work.
• 1:00:12
  We want to understand how our brain works.
• 1:00:14
  We also need to understand how our all of our organs, sexual
• 1:00:19
  organs, periods, all those things work too.
• 1:00:21
  It's all part of the system. Education in every area is
• 1:00:25
  empowerment and important. It all has a knock on effect
• 1:00:30
  through every Absolutely, absolutely.
• 1:00:34
  So I was reading something the other day that this day and age
• 1:00:39
  is the hardest. It's it's the hardest age in
• 1:00:45
  terms of parenting since since or like World War One or
• 1:00:51
  something. Oh wow.
• 1:00:53
  And because we don't have that village of people around us.
• 1:01:00
  Yeah. You don't have.
• 1:01:01
  It's so isolating and then you're dealing with technology
• 1:01:06
  and that's a whole other kettle of fish.
• 1:01:09
  There's so much conflicting information out there on the
• 1:01:13
  Internet. You're damned if you do, you're
• 1:01:15
  damned if you don't. You're a bad parent.
• 1:01:17
  We do this. You're a great parent if you do
• 1:01:19
  that. And then one other website is
• 1:01:22
  telling you the opposite and it's 90% guesswork anyway.
• 1:01:26
  Yeah. No one really knows what they're
• 1:01:28
  doing. And that's actually a really
• 1:01:31
  empowering thing way of thinking about it.
• 1:01:33
  It's like, yeah, we're all, and it's funny, like I remember in
• 1:01:38
  my 20s looking at like, or when, yeah, so it would have been like
• 1:01:43
  early 20s looking at these couples with kids.
• 1:01:46
  And I said, wow, they've got their shit together.
• 1:01:49
  They're so mature. And now I'm that age and I'm
• 1:01:52
  like, I don't know what I'm doing here.
• 1:01:57
  And like technology keeps changing.
• 1:02:00
  And so apparently it's now it's really, really hard time.
• 1:02:04
  Yeah. Be a parent because not only do
• 1:02:07
  you not have that village of people to rely on, you're both
• 1:02:11
  out working, you're not being able to show or like spend as
• 1:02:15
  much time with your child. And then you have this whole
• 1:02:18
  other side, this technology side.
• 1:02:20
  Yeah, that's telling you you're doing a good job.
• 1:02:23
  The other half is telling you you're shit parents.
• 1:02:26
  You've got coster syndrome, mom guilt.
• 1:02:29
  And then you have to deal with technology and cyberbullying and
• 1:02:33
  like, are they allowed to play this game?
• 1:02:35
  Am I the world's worst if I let them play this game?
• 1:02:38
  And like, they're not supervised.
• 1:02:39
  It's it's, it's a minefield. Yeah, you know what I mean?
• 1:02:44
  So I think giving them the information about their bodies
• 1:02:51
  and like bringing like age appropriate sex education back
• 1:02:56
  as early as we can to like 910 year olds, it's, you know, it's
• 1:03:04
  just going to benefit them in the long run.
• 1:03:07
  It's like it's, it's so important nowadays.
• 1:03:11
  They say it's really important that you teach your kids the
• 1:03:13
  right words for the channels, absolutely right terms, instead
• 1:03:18
  of saying, oh, you know, and this is only one thing that I
• 1:03:21
  talk about. It might talk as well.
• 1:03:24
  I get them to shout out the students to shout out different
• 1:03:27
  words for the vulva. Yeah, you know, that I've heard
• 1:03:31
  of slant slang words and stuff like that.
• 1:03:33
  And even if there's kids from a different country, I'm like,
• 1:03:35
  what do you call it in your country?
• 1:03:37
  You know? But, yeah, teaching them
• 1:03:41
  different. They're like the proper terms
• 1:03:43
  for their bodies. Like that's, that's that's
• 1:03:45
  start. And you do that from the age of
• 1:03:48
  like, four or five. Yeah.
• 1:03:50
  You know what I mean? It's one bottom.
• 1:03:52
  It's a Yeah. You know, even nowadays, Bulova,
• 1:03:56
  it's called the vagina. The vagina just makes up one
• 1:03:59
  part of it. Yeah.
• 1:04:00
  Yeah, you know, and that's also not even being educated or
• 1:04:04
  understanding, but it's all in there.
• 1:04:07
  Yeah, yeah. But yeah, I definitely think
• 1:04:11
  that it's starting to open up the conversations early in an
• 1:04:16
  age appropriate way obviously. Yeah.
• 1:04:19
  It's the only way forward. Yeah, I think this country is
• 1:04:25
  definitely working on that for sure.
• 1:04:30
  And I found, I honestly, do, you know, I thought that I would
• 1:04:33
  experience a lot more pushback about my workshop and I have
• 1:04:38
  from the schools now, some schools have been like, no
• 1:04:42
  thanks, we're just going to do it in house, which is a shame
• 1:04:46
  because I saw the kids get sponsored and then I distribute
• 1:04:53
  them through my talks. So it's not actually costing the
• 1:04:56
  schools anything and the students usable products.
• 1:05:00
  But I still have some schools. Have.
• 1:05:02
  Come to me. And to be honest, more often
• 1:05:06
  than not, there's like the the religious ethos to those.
• 1:05:10
  Sure, absolutely. I was going to say, it's the
• 1:05:12
  private Catholic schools, isn't it?
• 1:05:14
  Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's just like there's still
• 1:05:22
  like in Ireland, there's still back girl Catholic guilts and
• 1:05:27
  that, yeah, studentism surrounding women's bodies.
• 1:05:32
  Yeah. I think it was like back in the
• 1:05:34
  70s the Bishop of Dublin wanted to ban the use of tampons.
• 1:05:40
  Or back in the 50s or something in Ireland, he wanted to ban the
• 1:05:43
  use of tampons because he thought that women were I can
• 1:05:46
  send you on all this information afterwards, but he thought that
• 1:05:49
  we were basically getting pleasure out of using tampons
• 1:05:55
  and that it would ruin them for their future husbands.
• 1:05:59
  Oh, my gosh. I mean, these are examples of
• 1:06:01
  stories and stigmas that exist out here.
• 1:06:03
  And you, you know, you're from Ireland in the US, we run into
• 1:06:07
  the same issues, roadblocks. There's there's conversations
• 1:06:10
  that are happening. And then there's places where
• 1:06:12
  world. It is.
• 1:06:15
  It is worldwide. It is worldwide.
• 1:06:17
  Wow. Wow.
• 1:06:18
  OK, so talk to me about how your why and your values inform how
• 1:06:23
  you parent doing this work. You know, the boundaries that
• 1:06:28
  you set, how you and your partner operate, how you show up
• 1:06:31
  in the world. And the importance that is
• 1:06:33
  because you talked about earlier, you know, as a parent,
• 1:06:35
  there's so much information up there that it's, it's a
• 1:06:38
  minefield. And so I I you really need your
• 1:06:41
  why and your Values Foundation to help really guide you and be
• 1:06:45
  your compass. Yeah, and I think it really
• 1:06:49
  helps having like a really good partner as well, like partner,
• 1:06:56
  not manchild. Like I sometimes.
• 1:07:01
  Like I turned around to Ross, God love him.
• 1:07:04
  Like I turned around to him the other day and I was like, like,
• 1:07:10
  how are you? No offense.
• 1:07:12
  Like, you're so competent. Like, I don't understand.
• 1:07:21
  Like, but like, he just does his share of parenting and housework
• 1:07:27
  and he's known as competent. It's just crazy.
• 1:07:32
  It's like we were talking. It was like the what's up,
• 1:07:35
  what's up group for my son's class?
• 1:07:37
  Yeah, we're talking about the Easter holidays were coming up.
• 1:07:41
  This is just an example and the parents like the moms, it's all
• 1:07:45
  moms in these groups, none of the dads in these groups.
• 1:07:48
  Yeah. And they were like, oh, thank
• 1:07:52
  God, no lunches for the next while, you know?
• 1:07:55
  And I was like, oh, it's not really an issue because Ross
• 1:07:57
  does the lunches in the morning because he's making lunch for
• 1:07:59
  himself anyway. And one of the women was like,
• 1:08:03
  God, I don't even think my husband would know what to put
• 1:08:06
  in lunch box. And I was like, wow, sandwich,
• 1:08:11
  This is a rocket science competent Ross.
• 1:08:20
  And like, he does the soap. And then our neighbor, our
• 1:08:24
  elderly neighbor's daughter met him in the supermarket one day.
• 1:08:28
  He was doing the weekly shop like he always does.
• 1:08:32
  And she was like, Oh my gosh, like.
• 1:08:38
  So is this Unicorn? My husband would.
• 1:08:43
  I don't think my husband ever stepped.
• 1:08:44
  Foot in the supermarket to do the weekday shopping.
• 1:08:47
  Like, why do it every week? He's like, I do most of the
• 1:08:49
  cooking as well. She's like, you cook, you cook
• 1:08:53
  as well. He was just like a fucking dog.
• 1:09:00
  Yeah. And he does do most of the
• 1:09:03
  cooking he got. We got into the habit of it
• 1:09:04
  because like when I had my shop, I was in the shop really late.
• 1:09:09
  He gets her, I'll close my shop, do the school pick up, bring
• 1:09:14
  have the kids with me in the shop for the entire afternoon.
• 1:09:16
  He'd usually get home before me and he'd already have dinner on
• 1:09:19
  and he would be up in the mornings making himself lunch.
• 1:09:22
  So he'd make lunch. You know what I mean?
• 1:09:24
  Like I'm trying to just like I do load.
• 1:09:29
  But isn't it, I mean, isn't it interesting, though, that that
• 1:09:32
  is considered in this day and age in 2025, that's considered a
• 1:09:35
  rarity because I'm very, I'm similarly blessed.
• 1:09:39
  My husband likes to cook. I don't.
• 1:09:42
  My husband has, we have three daughters and people would walk
• 1:09:46
  up to him all the time. He'd be like 03 daughters.
• 1:09:48
  He's like, I'm batting 1000. I love it.
• 1:09:50
  I wouldn't trade this for the world.
• 1:09:52
  I'm not seeking or wishing for sons These these they're great
• 1:09:57
  and it's been a fabulous girl dad, but also like he doesn't he
• 1:10:01
  was raised and this is probably got to be your husband's case
• 1:10:06
  too, is he was raised by a mom and dad but but but mom who was
• 1:10:10
  like there are no gender roles in this family.
• 1:10:12
  You're all going to learn how to do everything.
• 1:10:15
  There were no my in laws, especially for their era and
• 1:10:19
  time were a very, very equal opportunity couple there.
• 1:10:26
  There was no patriarchy happening and my, my
• 1:10:33
  father-in-law had been raised in a home where he was the only
• 1:10:36
  child and had been absolutely doted on by his mother and my,
• 1:10:40
  and my mother-in-law. And they, I mean my
• 1:10:42
  mother-in-law and father-in-law started dating in 7th grade.
• 1:10:44
  So he was very clear on who she was.
• 1:10:47
  And she was like, let's be very clear.
• 1:10:49
  I am not your mate. I will not be doing your
• 1:10:51
  laundry. I will not be up after you.
• 1:10:54
  We will both share in the duties and responsibilities.
• 1:10:57
  Now she did a lot. She stayed home after their the
• 1:11:01
  kids were born. She was a teacher of stay home.
• 1:11:03
  But she was much like what you talked about earlier.
• 1:11:06
  She was like, she's like the house was a mess by mess because
• 1:11:12
  she was playing with the kids and she was teaching the kids
• 1:11:14
  and she was doing stuff with the kids and everybody.
• 1:11:17
  So, yeah. So Brady, my husband never
• 1:11:20
  expected me to be. He never saw me in this domestic
• 1:11:26
  role and it was very clearly on, like it's not who I am anyway.
• 1:11:30
  So it's a good thing. But but I say all that to say is
• 1:11:35
  you and I are considered fortunate to have you know, why
• 1:11:40
  isn't this just that this I will tell you this goes back what you
• 1:11:45
  and I were talking about and the education of getting into kids
• 1:11:50
  in schools, 3rd, 4th, 5th grade, talking to them about their
• 1:11:54
  bodies, talking to them about what's happening, talking to
• 1:11:57
  them about what is what is appropriate language, what is
• 1:12:01
  not appropriate language if we can present and it sets the
• 1:12:05
  whole narrative for all of these other scenarios.
• 1:12:09
  You're going through once a month.
• 1:12:12
  These are ways that you can help them.
• 1:12:14
  Yeah. Don't take it personally if you
• 1:12:18
  get shouted at, yeah. OK, yeah, yeah, and have and you
• 1:12:23
  can maybe make the lunches that week or you make the dinner or I
• 1:12:27
  mean just, you know, there's just a different way if we can,
• 1:12:30
  you know, it, change it. It's simple things to start
• 1:12:34
  planting seeds with these kids early on on how they view and
• 1:12:37
  support each other and, and removing these, you know,
• 1:12:42
  traditional gender roles. I mean, the fact that to, and it
• 1:12:46
  happens everywhere. It's like these, this WhatsApp
• 1:12:49
  group is all moms. I mean like where I mean, I, but
• 1:12:53
  I mean, my, my husband used to take our kids to daycare in the
• 1:12:56
  morning and he would stay at the daycare and play for like with
• 1:13:00
  the kids. And they're like, I, I wish we
• 1:13:02
  could pay you enough to hire you here because so, you know,
• 1:13:07
  because he was the only guy in the house sticking around and
• 1:13:10
  playing. He'd stay, he'd read stories and
• 1:13:12
  I'm like, don't you have to go to work?
• 1:13:15
  But, but I mean, but he was raised by, in a family where it
• 1:13:20
  was set up early. The understanding.
• 1:13:22
  So it does matter in the education that we and how we
• 1:13:27
  start these kids in an early age and breaking these stereotypes
• 1:13:30
  that happen later on. Yeah, 100%.
• 1:13:33
  Yeah, absolutely. And this really goes nicely into
• 1:13:38
  living out of our own expectations versus others.
• 1:13:41
  You all have set up and communicated with each other and
• 1:13:44
  others your expectations. You're not living out of others.
• 1:13:48
  Is this a kind of a space and place that you've always lived
• 1:13:52
  from, or is that something you had to learn and grow into?
• 1:13:55
  Me and Ross. Just you.
• 1:13:57
  Period. Oh, I suppose like everyone, I
• 1:14:04
  used to be a bit of a people pleaser.
• 1:14:10
  Yeah, since having the kid. And it's funny, like since
• 1:14:12
  having the kids and really like myself and Ross, we had the kids
• 1:14:19
  and then we've, we've only been married since 2018.
• 1:14:22
  But it was like when we were getting married, I was like, OK,
• 1:14:27
  this is forever. So if there's anything that we
• 1:14:31
  want to change now, yeah, we need to just lay it on the
• 1:14:40
  table. And this is all in my head, by
• 1:14:43
  the way. We didn't actually do this.
• 1:14:47
  But in terms of like boundaries when it came to like our
• 1:14:51
  families and stuff like that, that was kind of when I put them
• 1:14:57
  into place. Do you know what I mean?
• 1:14:59
  I'm like this family unit, these are priorities.
• 1:15:06
  And, you know, we need to. It's OK.
• 1:15:10
  And I I keep like, he's such a people pleaser sometimes as
• 1:15:13
  well. He's really, he's really
• 1:15:16
  thoughtful, almost detriment of himself in that some people can
• 1:15:22
  take advantage of. Yeah, how much he gives.
• 1:15:27
  And so I have to keep reminding him that it is OK to say no, you
• 1:15:31
  can blame me. I'll be the Dick.
• 1:15:36
  I don't care anymore. I'm too angry for this.
• 1:15:43
  I got having more important things to to focus my energy on
• 1:15:47
  the more important. Things yeah, like it's yeah,
• 1:15:53
  it's still it's a learning curve every day.
• 1:15:56
  Yeah, you know, like stop looking, yeah, you know, stop
• 1:16:00
  growing and adapting your relationships, always changing
• 1:16:04
  every relationship in your life. And yeah, it's just it's trying
• 1:16:10
  to navigate as best you can. Everyone's just doing their
• 1:16:13
  best. Yeah, unless you talk.
• 1:16:26
  He's he is too much. Of he is too much of everything,
• 1:16:32
  yeah, he needs to sit the fuck down.
• 1:16:34
  Now, excuse my language. You can cut that out.
• 1:16:38
  It's fine. Oh my God.
• 1:16:42
  I'm just so tired of him. I'd like the whole world is
• 1:16:45
  tired of him. Yeah, you know.
• 1:16:49
  I mean, I have to really monitor, you know, in terms of
• 1:16:52
  my own expectations of like I have none of him and and nothing
• 1:16:56
  but bad. And I for myself, like for my
• 1:16:59
  husband and I, my husband has more aptitude to take in more
• 1:17:03
  content today I than I do. So I will get to my intake.
• 1:17:07
  I mean on him in a day and I'll, if he's still into I'm like,
• 1:17:12
  I'll step out or go to a different room.
• 1:17:14
  I'm like, OK, I, I, I've maxed out here.
• 1:17:17
  I can't, you know, do anymore. And I've reached that I've
• 1:17:21
  reached. My level of stupid for today,
• 1:17:23
  yeah, it's. Overflow done my cup.
• 1:17:29
  Runneth over it's. The wrong thing.
• 1:17:33
  I need to empty that cup out and refill it with some good.
• 1:17:36
  Yeah, yeah. Oh my God.
• 1:17:38
  No kidding. Where's my?
• 1:17:40
  Bloody audio book. There you go exactly.
• 1:17:45
  I got to see now. Oh my goodness.
• 1:17:50
  All right, well, in this in going into the next talking
• 1:17:53
  point, embracing our layers. This is it.
• 1:17:56
  This is embracing all the pieces and parts that make up who you
• 1:18:01
  are. You've been able to navigate
• 1:18:04
  that whole, like fully wide open, wholeheartedly
• 1:18:08
  acknowledging that you're learning and growing every day,
• 1:18:11
  naming all the things you're experiencing.
• 1:18:14
  Do you feel like you've all when do you feel like you've moved to
• 1:18:17
  that point? Because we talked a lot about
• 1:18:19
  topics and areas that we experienced stigma and shame and
• 1:18:23
  we have to really move through and move past and not let them
• 1:18:27
  impact how we feel about ourselves.
• 1:18:30
  So talk to me about your journey with that.
• 1:18:36
  Like, everyone probably started from childhood.
• 1:18:39
  Yeah. You know, every kind of there's
• 1:18:45
  things that happened to us in their childhood, like, not and
• 1:18:49
  necessarily bad things, just six things that we experienced that
• 1:18:53
  we either told someone about or kept it to ourselves.
• 1:18:57
  Like when I was, I don't even know what age I was.
• 1:19:02
  I used to play rugby and I slipped one day and I think like
• 1:19:07
  tore my hymen. I think 11 splits because it was
• 1:19:14
  raining. And I was like, oh, wow, yeah.
• 1:19:23
  Told anyone about it, You know, I just kept it to myself.
• 1:19:26
  And I always wonder, like, was that was it, You know, because
• 1:19:31
  when I was like 17 and having sex for the first time, it
• 1:19:35
  didn't hurt. So maybe it.
• 1:19:37
  Was, I don't know there's. No one that I can talk to, you
• 1:19:41
  know, at that age. So right, you know, that is like
• 1:19:45
  one layer that I just kept to myself and then stuff just built
• 1:19:49
  up overish over time, different experiences.
• 1:19:53
  And yeah. And then as you get older, I
• 1:19:57
  especially like if you ever have kids, you kind of just have to
• 1:20:02
  leave your dignity at the door of the labor ward up to 100%.
• 1:20:07
  You don't mean Yeah, you just. You just.
• 1:20:10
  I think it was when I had the kids, I just.
• 1:20:13
  Yeah. Stop caring, I'm like I'm in too
• 1:20:16
  much pain to care. Yeah.
• 1:20:18
  Literally I don't care. One of the the doc, the doctor
• 1:20:22
  that gave me the sweep like 8 hours earlier was coming back
• 1:20:26
  for his after his break. You know, he's coming back for
• 1:20:29
  his shift the next day. He was like, oh, you're still
• 1:20:32
  here and there's me like pushing mid push and he's like, hey, go.
• 1:20:39
  Away. You know, but at the same time I
• 1:20:41
  was like, I don't give a shit. I know, I know baby.
• 1:20:46
  And then you just kind of from there then, you know, you just
• 1:20:54
  especially bringing up, like, my own daughter and my own son,
• 1:20:57
  just trying to navigate their experiences and not shame them
• 1:21:04
  for things. Yeah.
• 1:21:06
  You know, little boys love their willies.
• 1:21:09
  They love the penis from an early age.
• 1:21:12
  I really wasn't expecting that. But like, you know, they're
• 1:21:17
  haven't trying to figure out a way to explain to them that
• 1:21:20
  there is a time and a place. OK, it's OK, but there is a time
• 1:21:26
  and a place and even flushing the toilet.
• 1:21:30
  Do you know what I mean? Like washing your hands.
• 1:21:32
  It's like trying to you kind of you're re experiencing your own
• 1:21:38
  experiences through them and it's this is how it should have
• 1:21:44
  gone. Or, you know, hopefully that if
• 1:21:47
  this happens to Juno, she can come and talk to me about it.
• 1:21:51
  Finn is sad about something. He can talk to me about it.
• 1:21:54
  And they are great. They will come in and they will
• 1:21:56
  take one of us out of the room. Finn usually takes Ross aside if
• 1:22:01
  he needs to talk to him about something and, you know, takes
• 1:22:03
  me aside. And so they're really good at
• 1:22:05
  that. But we, you know, we have to
• 1:22:08
  keep drilling it into them that like they can't talk to us and
• 1:22:12
  we would rather that they talk to us.
• 1:22:18
  Like, you know, we're not going to get angry if we hear it from
• 1:22:22
  you, but if we hear something from someone else second hand,
• 1:22:27
  then we're going to be annoyed and disappointed that you didn't
• 1:22:31
  come to us. You know, and we want you to
• 1:22:33
  know that it's OK that you can come to us and we won't get
• 1:22:37
  angry. I think that's really important.
• 1:22:42
  So you're kind of just, it's funny seeing all these different
• 1:22:45
  layers of there, Yeah. How they?
• 1:22:49
  Intersect with yours. Yeah.
• 1:22:51
  And like, I really hope I'm not, you know, instilling a little
• 1:22:56
  bit of rash in that layer right there for the rest of their
• 1:23:00
  life. You know, it's really.
• 1:23:03
  Yeah. It's just, yeah, you're just
• 1:23:06
  navigating those as best you can.
• 1:23:09
  You are. I love how you talked about
• 1:23:10
  those creating those safe spaces and those open communications
• 1:23:14
  that's going to set them on, you know, such a healthier
• 1:23:18
  trajectory because things, you know, we're finally starting to
• 1:23:21
  open up and like being silent about these things and, and
• 1:23:25
  treating them as embarrassing or shameful serves no one.
• 1:23:29
  It just, it's nonsense, but it's narratives that have been around
• 1:23:33
  for generations that we've got to break and and improve on and
• 1:23:38
  just and own that piece of it. And also something I've learned
• 1:23:41
  to own. I've got 3 grown daughters now
• 1:23:43
  is I did the best I can and also I know a lot more now than I did
• 1:23:47
  then. And the reality is they need may
• 1:23:50
  need some therapy. And I completely acknowledge
• 1:23:53
  that. I am sorry for anything you need
• 1:23:56
  therapy for. And also please go because I
• 1:23:58
  want you to be well. And even though I did the best I
• 1:24:00
  can, I can fully acknowledge I didn't get it.
• 1:24:02
  All right. That's it.
• 1:24:04
  Just like putting in that space is even kind of free.
• 1:24:08
  Like both can be true. Yeah, Yeah, absolutely.
• 1:24:12
  No one is perfect. Like, I mean, I think it's
• 1:24:16
  really, it's like, I suppose I never, not that I I never felt
• 1:24:24
  that I couldn't talk to my parents about things, but I just
• 1:24:28
  didn't. Yeah.
• 1:24:30
  Yeah. You know, not because they were
• 1:24:33
  like, Oh no, no, no, La La, la, la.
• 1:24:35
  You know, like, if I need to talk to something, my mom would
• 1:24:37
  have been there, but I just never went to her about like,
• 1:24:42
  yeah, anything. I was sure.
• 1:24:46
  It's funny. I do now.
• 1:24:50
  But yeah. Since.
• 1:24:52
  Yeah, since parenting, you know, and even now, like, you're
• 1:24:56
  looking, you know, our parents weren't perfect either.
• 1:24:59
  Yeah. Are we perfect?
• 1:25:00
  No. But no one is.
• 1:25:02
  And it's only when you have kids you realize.
• 1:25:06
  No. You know, they're doing a
• 1:25:09
  mirror. If they, like us, go off to be
• 1:25:12
  kind, well-rounded individuals, then that's all you can hope
• 1:25:18
  for. Really.
• 1:25:19
  Absolutely, very happy. Yeah.
• 1:25:22
  All you can wish for. Yeah, for sure, For sure.
• 1:25:26
  Yeah. All right.
• 1:25:29
  It is hard. It is hard.
• 1:25:31
  It is hard. And yeah, Blueprint.
• 1:25:34
  Yeah. No, there's not, No.
• 1:25:37
  And in I think just owning that too is fraying and removing the
• 1:25:40
  pressure from yourself. Yeah, 100.
• 1:25:43
  Percent, yeah. Talk to me about as we wind down
• 1:25:47
  here in living out feel, what I call feel, finding empowerment,
• 1:25:51
  embracing layers, which which you are, have done and are doing
• 1:25:55
  every day. Talk to me about the impact that
• 1:25:58
  has had on your relationship with yourself as well as your
• 1:26:02
  relationship with other people. And you've talked already about
• 1:26:05
  how you've learned to say no and set boundaries.
• 1:26:08
  So you already have seen the impacts on relationships, how
• 1:26:12
  you and Ross really share the load and he's truly a partner.
• 1:26:16
  But but talk to me about that, that field journey and the
• 1:26:19
  impact on those relationships with yourself and others.
• 1:26:23
  I think for the most part it's been really beneficial and it's
• 1:26:28
  kind of by being a little bit selfish and filling my own cup,
• 1:26:32
  it's given me the opportunity to give a lot more back to like
• 1:26:36
  friends, family, the kids. Ross yeah, I think it's we're
• 1:26:44
  not necessarily brought up that way.
• 1:26:48
  We're not conditioned that way. So it is about unlearning what
• 1:26:52
  we've been brought up to do. And I know self-care is like
• 1:26:57
  such a buzz right now and like mental health, it's it's come a
• 1:27:01
  long way in the last 10 years. Do you know what I mean?
• 1:27:04
  Like self-care to some women used to be doing the weekly shop
• 1:27:10
  for a bit of me time. Do you know what I mean?
• 1:27:12
  Like it's just going to the gym or putting on your headphones,
• 1:27:20
  getting it into the garden, just doing something small for you.
• 1:27:24
  It doesn't have to be big, small, new, you know, I think.
• 1:27:30
  And like, I haven't done anything drastic really.
• 1:27:35
  You know, it's been small, simple little changes, gradual
• 1:27:38
  changes that have built up to like.
• 1:27:43
  Bigger. Kind of well-being, I suppose,
• 1:27:47
  in terms of like my mental health and stuff.
• 1:27:49
  I kind of struggled a lot when after Juno with postpartum rage
• 1:27:56
  and I had to put a lot of work into Bash.
• 1:28:00
  Yeah. Into managing that and also one
• 1:28:06
  thing like just, yeah. So it's had a good like by me,
• 1:28:14
  I've seen like what my mum went through when we were growing up
• 1:28:19
  and there was just no help for her way back then.
• 1:28:24
  And like I still take Lexapro, Esotalifram.
• 1:28:30
  I've taken that since COVID actually started weeks before
• 1:28:33
  COVID is, but I spoke to my doctor times and I'm like, I
• 1:28:40
  just don't. I like even now, like I can
• 1:28:45
  still, I still feel that rage inside, especially if I don't
• 1:28:49
  get enough sleep. Yeah.
• 1:28:51
  And it's always, it's always connected to my cycle.
• 1:28:56
  Always. And my doctor was, I said it to
• 1:29:00
  my doctor like I'm on the lowest dose.
• 1:29:01
  And I was like, I don't think I ever want to come off this.
• 1:29:03
  And she was like, you never have to come off this.
• 1:29:06
  She was like, it really helps some people, like, yeah, like we
• 1:29:11
  change so much throughout our lives.
• 1:29:13
  Especially like, I think pregnancy really does it.
• 1:29:18
  It changes your brain completely.
• 1:29:22
  It changes your entire body. But in change, something changes
• 1:29:25
  in your brain when you become pregnant, when you become a
• 1:29:28
  parent. Yeah.
• 1:29:30
  And yeah. And like, having to relearn who
• 1:29:37
  you are as a person before you had kids, letting some things
• 1:29:42
  go, you know, embracing others. Yeah, really hard.
• 1:29:47
  It's really hard, especially in the early days.
• 1:29:50
  Yeah. You know, But then I was like,
• 1:29:53
  the kids get older and you kind of, you're seeing, you're kind
• 1:29:58
  of taught again that you need to be everything that your baby
• 1:30:02
  needs all the time. And, well, that's just really
• 1:30:07
  not the case. And like the more that I have
• 1:30:10
  embraced outside the box be like, OK, I can't sit under this
• 1:30:18
  child while she cluster feeds for hours on and I just I can't,
• 1:30:21
  I just need a break, you know? Well, I'm going to supplement
• 1:30:25
  the formula and that's OK. And that doesn't make me a bad
• 1:30:29
  parent. I'm.
• 1:30:31
  Not going to ruin health, you know?
• 1:30:33
  I literally just need to use the bathroom and hand her over to
• 1:30:38
  someone for a couple of hours for my own mental health and
• 1:30:42
  spend some time with my toddler. Do you know what I mean?
• 1:30:46
  Yeah. You know, and this is my way.
• 1:30:49
  I don't have a village to take over, unfortunately, but this is
• 1:30:53
  my way of managing that. Yeah, switch to formula for one
• 1:30:58
  feed so someone else can do it. You do what I mean.
• 1:31:01
  Like, it's absolutely make little adaptations for yourself,
• 1:31:05
  for your own well-being. Yeah, Yeah.
• 1:31:11
  Well, that really impacts too, how you're able to show up, like
• 1:31:14
  you want to be able to show up as your, your most, you know,
• 1:31:18
  fulfills authentic self. And that requires tending to
• 1:31:22
  what it is you need and so that you can show up that way.
• 1:31:26
  And I'm, I'm glad you spoke to that.
• 1:31:28
  That was such a great example because nursing is hard and it's
• 1:31:34
  time consuming. And also, yeah, I.
• 1:31:40
  I hated breastfeeding. Yeah.
• 1:31:43
  I thought it was like, like I was under the the impression
• 1:31:46
  that I was all that my child needed and that my boob was the
• 1:31:53
  all, like incompetent to everything.
• 1:31:55
  But when she was crying, if I tried giving her, you know, the
• 1:32:00
  boob, Juno would, like, slap it out of the way almost like,
• 1:32:05
  yeah, not now, you know, it's not what I mean.
• 1:32:08
  It was never it was just sustenance to her.
• 1:32:13
  It was never like she never used me as like a soother.
• 1:32:17
  Yeah. I was under the impression that
• 1:32:18
  old breasted babies just needed like just boob and then, right.
• 1:32:23
  Yeah, curious the ailment, but that's really wasn't the case.
• 1:32:28
  Yeah. Patient breastfeeding.
• 1:32:30
  Yeah. Yeah, and I think it's just
• 1:32:33
  those are that's another conversation of things that we
• 1:32:35
  need to talk about as moms and what's available and what we can
• 1:32:39
  do. You know, I had, you know,
• 1:32:41
  conversations with my doctor as I went on, like, OK, to this
• 1:32:45
  point it's helpful. And then after that it's OK.
• 1:32:47
  Like my second one we supplemented with with formula.
• 1:32:52
  She's fine. She's fine.
• 1:32:56
  And my. Yeah.
• 1:32:59
  Yeah. The youngest, my oldest would
• 1:33:01
  not take it. We tried when I went back to
• 1:33:03
  work, she just she wouldn't take it.
• 1:33:06
  But we learn as we go and we find the things that work for us
• 1:33:10
  that allow us to be our authentic selves in these
• 1:33:13
  seasons. And, and that requires tearing
• 1:33:17
  down in our minds all these thoughts and I that's thought is
• 1:33:22
  not truth. That's something I need to
• 1:33:24
  release. And I need to, you know, relearn
• 1:33:27
  and adopt what's actually true for me and, well, for me.
• 1:33:32
  Yeah. There's like going into that new
• 1:33:38
  age of parenthood that you've never experienced before and
• 1:33:42
  you're stumbling in the dark knowing, having the information
• 1:33:49
  about knowing your body and knowing yourself and knowing
• 1:33:53
  your mind and having all that information that you learn from
• 1:33:57
  an early age. It will also help you navigate
• 1:34:00
  that as well because there's a lot out there that makes young
• 1:34:04
  women and young mothers feel really shit about themselves and
• 1:34:08
  really bad about themselves. And you second guess yourself.
• 1:34:12
  And if you're not careful, you can spiral.
• 1:34:15
  You know, like I said, there's so much information out there
• 1:34:18
  now. You're damned if you do, you're
• 1:34:19
  damned if you don't. You know it's.
• 1:34:23
  Yeah. There no one is perfect, you
• 1:34:25
  just have to do the best you can.
• 1:34:27
  But like, you know your body better than anyone else.
• 1:34:31
  You know your baby better than anyone else.
• 1:34:32
  And the more you know and the more you learn about yourself
• 1:34:37
  growing up, the more you advocate yourself growing up,
• 1:34:41
  the more you can advocate for your kids when it comes to that
• 1:34:45
  stage, if it comes to that stage, you know, gate for
• 1:34:49
  yourself throughout your life and advocate for other family
• 1:34:52
  members as well. Yeah, absolutely on effect.
• 1:34:56
  Yeah, it's such a domino effect. Absolutely, 100%, yeah, yeah,
• 1:35:02
  yeah. Especially for the men as well,
• 1:35:04
  you know. Yes.
• 1:35:06
  This is how you can help your sister, your mother at this
• 1:35:10
  stage. This is how you can help your
• 1:35:12
  wife. This is how you partner, you
• 1:35:14
  know. This is how you can help your
• 1:35:16
  daughter. Like it all, it all adds.
• 1:35:20
  Up it does it does as an impact. Absolutely so good, so good.
• 1:35:25
  Thank you so much for that. I appreciate your honesty and
• 1:35:28
  and authenticity in that, because those are the things we
• 1:35:30
  need to say. These are the kinds of topics
• 1:35:32
  where women feel like they're the only one that feels this way
• 1:35:35
  and then they feel so bad and it's like, no, no, no, you are
• 1:35:38
  not alone. And we're talking about it.
• 1:35:40
  We're going to talk about it and remove no exactly so we can
• 1:35:45
  create these safe spaces to have these conversations and remove
• 1:35:48
  the shame it that that comes with them when we feel like in
• 1:35:52
  in the isolation, like, you know, creating a safe spaces.
• 1:35:56
  Thank you so much. All right, we're down to the
• 1:35:59
  rapid fire. OK.
• 1:36:01
  Five activities that nourish you.
• 1:36:09
  Listening to books. I I love, love swimming in the
• 1:36:14
  sea. I love the Irish Sea is cold.
• 1:36:19
  Yeah, especially this. It doesn't really warm up until
• 1:36:21
  September, but it's really, really lovely and I really like
• 1:36:25
  it. Anything Pedro Pascal, you know.
• 1:36:32
  Yeah. Yeah, love it.
• 1:36:38
  Yeah, audio books love escapism. I love a good fantasy TV show.
• 1:36:47
  I really love just simple things like going out for dinner and
• 1:36:54
  the movie with a friend or even, you know, going out for a couple
• 1:36:59
  of drinks with Ross, date night. But it's really like, it's
• 1:37:04
  really nice. Yeah.
• 1:37:06
  Connecting now, even just for a couple of hours, it's just or
• 1:37:10
  even going out in the morning. What we do in the mornings is
• 1:37:14
  now that the weather is really lovely here the last couple of
• 1:37:16
  weeks, we'll get out of bed instead of lying in bed.
• 1:37:23
  We'll get up, we'll make coffee, we'll sit down in the garden and
• 1:37:26
  we'll just sit there. We don't have fairly enough to
• 1:37:29
  talk, but we just sit there and we enjoy the garden and we enjoy
• 1:37:33
  the sun, soak with the sunshine and love it.
• 1:37:36
  It's so simple, but like, really sets you up for the day.
• 1:37:41
  Yeah, yeah. It's like you said earlier,
• 1:37:43
  those simple things add up. They have impact.
• 1:37:46
  They really do the DIY as well. Yeah, take right kind of
• 1:37:52
  headspace to get into it. But once you're into it, yeah.
• 1:37:55
  Absolutely. Wind me up and let me go.
• 1:38:01
  I have a bit of DIY, yeah. I love that.
• 1:38:07
  OK, so good. All right, 5 words on how you
• 1:38:10
  want to feel the next six months.
• 1:38:15
  I'm well rested, working on it, healthier in my body.
• 1:38:25
  And I want to be pain free, which sounds like a lot, but
• 1:38:35
  it's not really. Yeah.
• 1:38:40
  God, what else is there? Yeah.
• 1:38:44
  I mean, if I keep going the way I'm going, then I'll be happy.
• 1:38:48
  Yeah. You know, Yeah.
• 1:38:49
  Life is good. So simple things.
• 1:38:54
  Yeah. Not like people say they can't
• 1:38:58
  understand women, but we're really not that hard to please.
• 1:39:01
  Like, you know. Ask a few key questions.
• 1:39:05
  Yeah, Skip. Buy me a plant, you know?
• 1:39:09
  Exactly, exactly. Don't interrupt me when I'm
• 1:39:12
  listening to my audio book. Don't look me when I'm listening
• 1:39:16
  and cleaning the toilet, OK? Yeah, just healthier for sure.
• 1:39:27
  Yeah. I think that's what we all want
• 1:39:29
  to strive for. But I definitely want to.
• 1:39:31
  I'm hoping in the next 6 months that I will be, if not pain
• 1:39:36
  free, then a lot less, you know? Yeah.
• 1:39:40
  Yeah. Worse than I am now, so that's
• 1:39:47
  all I can kind of think of at the.
• 1:39:49
  That's perfect. That sounds great.
• 1:39:51
  I know, I know. That's the focus.
• 1:39:52
  Yes, man, that's important. That's a priority.
• 1:39:55
  I love that. All right, tell people where
• 1:39:57
  they can find you, follow you, learn more about you.
• 1:40:00
  And all of this will be, of course, on our resources page at
• 1:40:03
  embracinglayers.com. You can also go back to the
• 1:40:06
  panel that Amy was on with this earlier in the year and her
• 1:40:10
  information is in the show notes of that YouTube channel, but
• 1:40:13
  you'll be able to go to both places now.
• 1:40:15
  So, but talk to people if they want to know right now.
• 1:40:18
  So you can find me on my website at YOUME dot IE yumi dot IE and
• 1:40:27
  from there you can find me on. I have links to my social.
• 1:40:30
  So I am on Instagram, I'm on Facebook and I'm on TikTok and
• 1:40:36
  I'm also on LinkedIn if you'd like to connect there.
• 1:40:40
  I don't really use LinkedIn an awful lot, I've got a version to
• 1:40:44
  it, but like. Like.
• 1:40:50
  Instagram is love, hate to it. I know, I know.
• 1:40:54
  That's how I know. I know.
• 1:40:55
  It's like the necessary evil. Yeah, it is.
• 1:41:02
  It is. And especially if you run a
• 1:41:04
  business, like it's just necessary.
• 1:41:07
  I wouldn't have Facebook if I didn't have the business page,
• 1:41:09
  you know? Yeah, yeah.
• 1:41:11
  Drama TikTok. All right, well.
• 1:41:16
  Thank you so much for today. This conversation was so good,
• 1:41:20
  so authentic, so important. I really enjoyed it.
• 1:41:27
  And, and just thank you for how you show up in the world.
• 1:41:29
  I'm so thankful to know you. I My favorite part about this
• 1:41:33
  work is getting to meet. People like that, I would never
• 1:41:36
  know otherwise. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:41:40
  And I'd really, I recently just, I completely forgot about pod
• 1:41:43
  match and I just signed into it again.
• 1:41:47
  Like I was like, I didn't realize that a subscription had
• 1:41:51
  bounced or would it? But also I like, I only started
• 1:41:56
  a new job two months ago part time, three days a week.
• 1:41:59
  And then the talks have been ramping up.
• 1:42:01
  So I haven't really been doing, I've just kind of put the
• 1:42:05
  podcast side of things on the back burner.
• 1:42:09
  So I really need to get back into that now.
• 1:42:12
  Hopefully I'll be able to kind of gonna be finishing up with
• 1:42:15
  school talks in July. So OK, give me a bit more time.
• 1:42:22
  Yeah, for sure. Absolutely.
• 1:42:23
  Yeah. And I really enjoy it.
• 1:42:25
  Like I lost. I know.
• 1:42:26
  Well, this is how we change. Narratives, I mean, this is how
• 1:42:31
  we, you know, it's opening up and being honest about our
• 1:42:34
  experiences and letting and inviting other women into this
• 1:42:38
  and letting you know us, you know, and making sure we know
• 1:42:42
  we're not alone, you know, and that's, you know, that's the
• 1:42:45
  that's the take away this week is ladies, we're here to talk
• 1:42:49
  about these things. We're here to be honest about
• 1:42:51
  them. We've got resources that we want
• 1:42:53
  to share, invite other women into it with us.
• 1:42:56
  We're all doing the best we can, but also it requires us to be
• 1:43:00
  participating. Think about that thing that
• 1:43:03
  really makes you angry now, right now, what can you do about
• 1:43:05
  it? How can you be a participant?
• 1:43:08
  What narrative can you in your corner of the world?
• 1:43:10
  We can't all solve everything, but we could all use those those
• 1:43:14
  narratives and those things that are really, really bothering is
• 1:43:19
  use it in a way to impact change in your space of the world,
• 1:43:23
  having conversations. With your kids.
• 1:43:26
  Exactly. Exactly.
• 1:43:28
  Generation. So with your kids, it's an
• 1:43:34
  absolute, you know what I mean? You're making a difference.
• 1:43:39
  Yeah, Yeah, that's a great example.
• 1:43:43
  It's such a simple flow, but a lot of people don't realize.
• 1:43:46
  Yeah. You know, like just I don't want
• 1:43:52
  I'm gonna RAM but go off on the rumble now if I don't stop, but
• 1:43:55
  like it's. It's more impactful than than I
• 1:44:00
  think we sit down and realize, yeah.
• 1:44:02
  But, and yeah, it is, you know, and it can help them to have
• 1:44:10
  like be a good, it can help them definitely.
• 1:44:13
  Like it empowers them to identify people that might be
• 1:44:20
  good for them and might not be good for them.
• 1:44:22
  Exactly. So I mean, like there's they're
• 1:44:26
  also one of the scariest things to me is that Finn, he's got
• 1:44:30
  such loveliest boys in his class, like some of the older
• 1:44:35
  boys in another class. They're just, they're so
• 1:44:38
  different. And I can't even imagine how he
• 1:44:41
  would be if he was in that other class, you know, the older
• 1:44:44
  class. Yeah, and.
• 1:44:47
  There's just a lot of strong personalities, and he's so
• 1:44:50
  sensitive and he's so thoughtful, and I think the
• 1:44:55
  world needs more like him. But, you know, I really that I
• 1:45:01
  can identify that to him, that it's OK to not want to be a part
• 1:45:06
  of that group. Yeah.
• 1:45:08
  And calling all of those things in him as strengths and not
• 1:45:12
  believing narrative, the stigma, the lie.
• 1:45:17
  Yeah, it's not strength so important for little boys.
• 1:45:23
  Yeah, we're dealing with. We're dealing with roadblocks
• 1:45:26
  now at the moment. Oh, I guess, yeah, we've lost
• 1:45:29
  him. He could have it when he was 10.
• 1:45:30
  He turned 10 back in March. And he's like.
• 1:45:33
  Could you promise? And we're like, yeah.
• 1:45:35
  But the more we've got to provide it, the more we're like,
• 1:45:37
  no. Yeah, Karen's not the right to
• 1:45:41
  change her mind. Yeah.
• 1:45:43
  Then he'll go up to, he'll go to his cousin's house or and up to
• 1:45:47
  his friend's house and watch them.
• 1:45:50
  Yeah, yeah. I'm not going to stop him from
• 1:45:52
  doing that. He will be exposed to
• 1:45:54
  something's Bush. Yeah, absolutely.
• 1:45:57
  Yeah. So and you can control that.
• 1:46:00
  Yeah, and I'll play Minecraft with him for as long as he
• 1:46:03
  wants, you know, because I can control them.
• 1:46:08
  Yeah, no kidding. That's so true.
• 1:46:10
  That's a good point. And like, I like, like, I
• 1:46:13
  thankfully like myself. And Ross will be quite savvy as
• 1:46:16
  well. Yeah.
• 1:46:18
  Like, I mean, I grew up playing the PlayStation and stuff like
• 1:46:20
  that. Yeah.
• 1:46:21
  And it's a way to connect your kids there.
• 1:46:27
  I'll like, I'll show them to you.
• 1:46:29
  Yeah. Roblox, you don't need all those
• 1:46:33
  predators. We've got Crash Bandicoot.
• 1:46:35
  Oh my gosh, yes, yeah. Oh my God.
• 1:46:42
  So that's my next hurdle now that's what we're like.
• 1:46:45
  Thanks for myself and Russell both like.
• 1:46:47
  You're nice. We're.
• 1:46:48
  Always sending each other stuff like about Roblox and looks like
• 1:46:51
  oh it just gets worse worse. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:46:56
  Well, thank you so much for your time today.
• 1:46:59
  I appreciate you so much. Take good care and have a great
• 1:47:02
  rest of your week. You too.
• 1:47:05
  I'll talk to you soon. OK.
• 1:47:07
  Bye. Thank you.
• 1:47:08
  Bye. Hello, Melissa Crook here.
• 1:47:14
  Thank you so much for joining us on the Field podcast today.
• 1:47:18
  Finding empowerment, Embracing Layers.
• 1:47:21
  I hope you found today's framework and resources
• 1:47:25
  supportive and informative. To learn more about all that we
• 1:47:29
  offer here at the Embracing Layers Network, visit
• 1:47:32
  embracinglayers.com. You can go to our contact form
• 1:47:37
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• 1:47:41
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• 1:47:44
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• 1:47:56
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• 1:48:09
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• 1:48:40
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• 1:48:43
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• 1:48:57
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• 1:49:00
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• 1:49:04
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