Latest / She's On The Money / Money Talk Makes Me Nervous. Why Am I Ashamed?

Transcript

Money Talk Makes Me Nervous. Why Am I Ashamed? · She's On The Money

0:00
Speaker 1: My name's Tatasha Bamblet. I'm a proud First Nations woman
0:03
Speaker 1: and I'm here to acknowledge country. Te Glenn Young Ganya Niana,
0:08
Speaker 1: kaka ya Ya Binahwaka nian Arka In Nimbini, yakarum Jar,
0:12
Speaker 1: Dominyamiga Umaga, Ithawakawaman, damon Immalan, Bumba bang Gadaboma in and
0:18
Speaker 1: now in Waka Ghana and yak rum Jar Watanadaa. Hello,
0:22
Speaker 1: beautiful friends, we gather on the lands of the Aboriginal people.
0:26
Speaker 1: We thank acknowledge and respect the Aboriginal people's land that
0:29
Speaker 1: we're gathering on today. Take pleasure in all the land
0:32
Speaker 1: and respect all that you see. She's on the Money
0:35
Speaker 1: podcast acknowledges culture, country, community and connections, bringing you the tools,
0:42
Speaker 1: knowledge and resources for you to thrive.
0:44
Speaker 2: She's on the Money. She's on the Money.
0:50
Speaker 3: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
0:54
Speaker 3: that makes personal finance is fun, especially on Fridays. Thank
0:58
Speaker 3: you for joining us for another episode of Friday Drinks,
1:00
Speaker 3: which is the time of the week where we get
1:02
Speaker 3: together to rejoice in our faculous community from their money
1:05
Speaker 3: dilemmas right through to their money wins. I'm Victoria Divine
1:09
Speaker 3: and with me today is the brilliant Beck Sayed and
1:11
Speaker 3: the joyful Jesse Rici. Okay, if we are doing alliterative introductions, okay,
1:19
Speaker 3: welcome and as per usual, we are bringing you the
1:21
Speaker 3: best broke tips of the week plus money wins worth celebrating.
1:26
Speaker 3: And let's just say that there are definitely a few
1:28
Speaker 3: things to celebrate, like a money dilemma where one listener
1:31
Speaker 3: is maximizing their money goals and out earning their partner. Sorry,
1:35
Speaker 3: what's the dilemma? And we'll also be discussing a dm
1:39
Speaker 3: about the money shame that's often passed on through our families.
1:42
Speaker 3: I would say it's a tough one and we are
1:44
Speaker 3: definitely here to help you through it. My friend, if
1:46
Speaker 3: you'd like your money dilemma answered on the pod, what
1:49
Speaker 3: you're going to do is leave us a message by
1:51
Speaker 3: visiting the podcast page when she's on the Money dot Com.
1:54
Speaker 3: There's a little tab where you can leave us a voicemail.
1:56
Speaker 3: And we love listening back to them all, even the
1:58
Speaker 3: ones where you're just leaving us of war and there
2:00
Speaker 3: are no questions like I listened to all of them.
2:03
Speaker 3: It is very, very cute. But speaking of listening back,
2:07
Speaker 3: would you guys like to listen to a five star review?
2:10
Speaker 2: Yes.
2:11
Speaker 3: We have recently run through all of our podcast reporting,
2:14
Speaker 3: and while it's really nice to see the charts and
2:16
Speaker 3: the numbers and the graphs of all of it, not
2:18
Speaker 3: one thing beats hearing from you guys in person and
2:21
Speaker 3: reading your reviews. This one comes from our friend Teresa. Hi, guys,
2:27
Speaker 3: love the show. I'm a teacher and was given a
2:29
Speaker 3: set of boring generic slides to teach students about money, credit,
2:34
Speaker 3: and banking. I scrapped the slides and I used all
2:38
Speaker 3: of my shoes on the money knowledge to teach my
2:40
Speaker 3: students about how to open a bank account, how interest works,
2:43
Speaker 3: and the importance of budgeting. My student said it was
2:46
Speaker 3: extremely useful, and they didn't even move when the bell
2:48
Speaker 3: went for the next class. They I know, right, like,
2:52
Speaker 3: do you remember packing up?
2:53
Speaker 4: I was airborne before the bell.
2:58
Speaker 3: But she said, these are such useful life skills. So
3:01
Speaker 3: thank you for all the knowledge that helps me to
3:03
Speaker 3: make a difference to the next generation.
3:07
Speaker 2: My queen, you're the one making the difference to the
3:09
Speaker 2: next generation.
3:10
Speaker 5: If someone had done that for me when I was
3:11
Speaker 5: in school, that's really cool And how often have we
3:15
Speaker 5: actually thought why weren't we taught this at school? Well,
3:17
Speaker 5: you're out here doing it and supercharging the cellabus with
3:20
Speaker 5: practical examples.
3:22
Speaker 3: Hell yeah, I'm obsessed to hear it. If you've found
3:25
Speaker 3: our podcast helpful, insightful, or educational, even my friends, we
3:29
Speaker 3: implore you, could you pretty please with a dollar on top?
3:34
Speaker 3: Leave us a five star review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify
3:37
Speaker 3: or wherever you get your podcasts.
3:39
Speaker 2: You can even email them to me. That's happened before.
3:42
Speaker 3: I'll take them however you are willing to give them anyway.
3:46
Speaker 3: We've done it, guys, we've hit the classroom. You can
3:49
Speaker 3: tell my economics teacher now that she's made a big
3:53
Speaker 3: that's huge and she was a nasty pasty.
3:55
Speaker 2: So, oh, my friends, are you ready for a question
3:58
Speaker 2: yes the week?
4:00
Speaker 3: This is a little bit of a change of pace
4:01
Speaker 3: because the question of the week is exciting. And can
4:04
Speaker 3: I just tell you that the team and I have
4:07
Speaker 3: been sitting on this one for the two of you,
4:09
Speaker 3: saving it for when we were able to answer it.
4:11
Speaker 2: And here is why. Okay, Jessica asks great name.
4:15
Speaker 3: If Vic, Jess and Beck were an iconic group of three,
4:20
Speaker 3: aside from the finance angels that they are.
4:23
Speaker 2: Would you be the Charmed Sisters?
4:26
Speaker 1: Oh?
4:26
Speaker 2: Would you be Mean Girls?
4:29
Speaker 3: Would you be Charlie's Angels, the powder Puff Girls or
4:34
Speaker 3: something completely different?
4:36
Speaker 5: Powerpuff Girls did jump into my mind when you said
4:38
Speaker 5: iconic trio, shock Gun bubbles obviously.
4:42
Speaker 2: Yeah, like all yours, bab Yeah.
4:44
Speaker 4: Would you be what's the green one?
4:46
Speaker 5: Blossom, butter Cup, butter cups and blossom, but the red one?
4:50
Speaker 6: Oh?
4:50
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, it would be the red one. I feel
4:53
Speaker 2: like it would be too. Yeah, you've got a red
4:54
Speaker 2: earring always.
4:56
Speaker 4: Yeah, I feel like that feels right. I'm thinking Power
4:58
Speaker 4: Up Girls as well.
4:59
Speaker 2: But who else would we be?
5:01
Speaker 5: I did also love Charmed, Charmed the Iconic show. I
5:04
Speaker 5: had the DVD box set of Charmed.
5:06
Speaker 3: Someone in our DMS the other day said that our
5:08
Speaker 3: deep dives feel like Pinky in the brain with like
5:11
Speaker 3: beck can I, And I was like, that is awesome,
5:15
Speaker 3: because like pinky is so much fun and the brain
5:19
Speaker 3: is a loser. That's not true, yeah, but also like
5:23
Speaker 3: that dynamic is fun. I can't think of any trios.
5:25
Speaker 3: I can only think of duos.
5:27
Speaker 4: I think that with trios there's always one that everyone forgets,
5:30
Speaker 4: like Destiny's child is always like the other one, you
5:32
Speaker 4: know what I mean. So I'm like, we would be
5:33
Speaker 4: a trio.
5:34
Speaker 2: Yeah, no one cares about Buttercup in the powder Buttually
5:38
Speaker 2: it's like everyone and the Red One.
5:42
Speaker 4: So but I think with our trio we would all
5:45
Speaker 4: be known.
5:46
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. Guess what what? She's on the money?
5:50
Speaker 4: Yes, that's true. I'm gonna go Charmed or Powerpuff Girls
5:54
Speaker 4: or she's in the money.
5:55
Speaker 2: I don't want to be mean girls. No, we could
5:58
Speaker 2: do it, though, No, No, I just.
6:06
Speaker 4: Wait, which one is Damien the guy who gives the pick?
6:08
Speaker 2: I want my picture back.
6:11
Speaker 4: Seeing a lot of the movies, I'm Glenn, Coco, you
6:14
Speaker 4: go Coco. I would be the obviously the lesbian one
6:16
Speaker 4: at the very end of Janice, Yeah you're Janus, I'm Janis.
6:22
Speaker 2: No one's allowed to be Regina George's she's too mean. Yeah, yeah,
6:26
Speaker 2: she's too mean? Yea, I endorse that. Can I be
6:29
Speaker 2: Regina George's mom? Though? Oh hell yeah, oh my god,
6:33
Speaker 2: iconic woman. I'm not a regular mom. I'm a cool mum.
6:36
Speaker 2: You guys need anything, all right? So what are we
6:38
Speaker 2: settling on?
6:39
Speaker 1: Oh?
6:40
Speaker 2: I'm going Tom Powerpuff Girls. All right, all right, my
6:44
Speaker 2: iconic behavior.
6:44
Speaker 3: Really we love your questions, my friends, so please please
6:48
Speaker 3: please keep them coming, send them on to us via
6:51
Speaker 3: our socials, slip into our d ms. Just honestly make
6:53
Speaker 3: it interesting, just like Jennifer did.
6:56
Speaker 2: That's a great question, thank you. All right. Moving on
6:58
Speaker 2: from that, we need a more meant for our money wins.
7:01
Speaker 3: Miss Jesse Gourici every single week gathers the best moments
7:05
Speaker 3: worth sharing on our main Jess, where's our community winning
7:10
Speaker 3: at this week?
7:10
Speaker 2: Alrighty?
7:11
Speaker 5: Firstly, Monique said her daughter's laptop died right before study period.
7:15
Speaker 5: She obviously needs it for UNI eighteen hundred dollars to
7:18
Speaker 5: replace it lack for like, but she's decided she likes
7:20
Speaker 5: the MacBook Neo because it's lighter to carry. They offer
7:23
Speaker 5: a student discount, so it was only seven hundred and
7:26
Speaker 5: forty nine dollars and then she also got two percent
7:28
Speaker 5: cash back as well.
7:29
Speaker 2: That's pretty good for a laptop I know.
7:31
Speaker 5: And that's the one that comes in the really cute
7:33
Speaker 5: pink color I've seen online. So double money win.
7:37
Speaker 2: For a new work laptop. Give it a hold. Second,
7:38
Speaker 2: it's going to need to.
7:39
Speaker 5: Be pink next I've got money in from Jade, who said,
7:41
Speaker 5: I've managed to revamp my living room and dining room
7:44
Speaker 5: with floor to ceiling shears from Kmar and it cost
7:47
Speaker 5: me less than five hundred dollars.
7:48
Speaker 2: Excuse me, came out of doing shes I don't, And
7:50
Speaker 2: they look really good, like Jade popp a photo in.
7:52
Speaker 2: They look great.
7:54
Speaker 4: My goodness, someone who's in the market.
7:56
Speaker 2: I knew that Freedom was doing them. I didn't know that,
7:58
Speaker 2: you know, the bigger do were playing this game as well.
8:02
Speaker 5: And under five hundred dollars seems like compared to the
8:04
Speaker 5: quotes I've heard quite good. Next, I've got money in
8:07
Speaker 5: from Natasha, who said I was looking at the Q
8:09
Speaker 5: sale page and I was about to drop one hundred
8:11
Speaker 5: and fifty bucks on new pants for work. But I
8:13
Speaker 5: jumped on eBay and I got myself a brand new
8:15
Speaker 5: pair that still had the tags attached for forty five
8:18
Speaker 5: dollars including shipping.
8:19
Speaker 2: A great funny win. God, we love a second hand bargain,
8:23
Speaker 2: especially if you're looking for something specific and then you
8:25
Speaker 2: find it on eBay.
8:26
Speaker 5: There is truly no better feeling when you find exactly
8:29
Speaker 5: what you want, exactly your size.
8:31
Speaker 2: Yep, and the color you want.
8:32
Speaker 3: I just bought a pair of Lululemon tights brand new
8:35
Speaker 3: with the tags a color that they don't have in
8:38
Speaker 3: stock anymore, from like two seasons ago, because I wanted
8:41
Speaker 3: this specific pink.
8:42
Speaker 4: If you know, you know, eBay, I agree muddy.
8:46
Speaker 5: Samaria said, Glue Stories closing down, so she got three
8:49
Speaker 5: hundred dollars worth of nude lucy jeans for eighty money win,
8:53
Speaker 5: and then Haley said, money loss. We've just re located
8:56
Speaker 5: from one rental to another because they were selling within
8:59
Speaker 5: a month. This one where in is selling as well.
9:01
Speaker 5: Oh no, which is just the worst luck in the world.
9:04
Speaker 5: But she did have a money win. She said, I
9:05
Speaker 5: did our grocery shop for a family of five for
9:07
Speaker 5: under a hundred dollars this week. We shopped our cupboard,
9:11
Speaker 5: our fridge, and our freezer and got creative with the
9:13
Speaker 5: help of AI and freed up approximately two hundred and
9:15
Speaker 5: fifty dollars to go into our savings this week.
9:17
Speaker 2: Wow, stop it. That's phenomenal, really well done.
9:20
Speaker 5: And last one for this week is from Jamie who
9:22
Speaker 5: said money win over the weekend. My recently started cleaning
9:25
Speaker 5: business side hustle has now just broken even and I
9:28
Speaker 5: am officially in the green.
9:30
Speaker 2: Nothing like a bit of Elberg grease paying off. I
9:32
Speaker 2: love that.
9:34
Speaker 3: That's very exciting money wins. I'm always in that thread.
9:37
Speaker 3: I'm always looking, i love reading, I'm always snooping And
9:39
Speaker 3: do you know what the worst thing about money winds
9:41
Speaker 3: thread is sometimes it makes me a little bit impulsive
9:44
Speaker 3: because people are like, oh, this is on sale or
9:46
Speaker 3: I just got this cheir and I'm like.
9:47
Speaker 2: I want that too. Yeah, So like read with caution
9:50
Speaker 2: my friends.
9:52
Speaker 3: As you guys also know, our community is exceptional at
9:56
Speaker 3: sharing their broke tips. Beck, you've got a pick of
9:58
Speaker 3: the litter this week. What tips do you have for
10:01
Speaker 3: us that you are willing to share and pass on?
10:04
Speaker 4: Okay, so this week I've got one from Georgia who
10:07
Speaker 4: says that she had her car service to caut my
10:10
Speaker 4: Car and earned Flybys points as well. So I don't
10:13
Speaker 4: know if you guys know this, but she says after
10:15
Speaker 4: the service, I received an email with details of a
10:18
Speaker 4: promotion between came Up my Car and Shell already expressed
10:21
Speaker 4: servos where I can get seventeen cents off per lita
10:24
Speaker 4: once a week for eight weeks.
10:26
Speaker 2: It gets better.
10:26
Speaker 4: The promotion can also be stacked with fuel discounts I
10:29
Speaker 4: earned through doing my groceries and calls, so I say,
10:32
Speaker 4: twenty one cents per liter and was still able to
10:35
Speaker 4: earn Flybys points.
10:36
Speaker 3: Excuse me, she's like a point stacking hacking queen. Hell yeah,
10:41
Speaker 3: isn't that amazing? Twenty one cent a leader.
10:43
Speaker 4: That's astronomical totally, And when I mean the petrol's okay now,
10:47
Speaker 4: which means it's even cheaper. But when it was like hectic,
10:50
Speaker 4: it's like you, it barely would have like touched her,
10:52
Speaker 4: you know.
10:53
Speaker 3: And I'm a little bit scared because I think that
10:55
Speaker 3: it's gonna get worse real soon.
10:57
Speaker 1: Nah.
10:57
Speaker 2: Sorry, I see our peel x is lifting.
11:01
Speaker 3: Oh okay, that we're not going to get that discount
11:04
Speaker 3: passed on to us, and so it's going to get
11:07
Speaker 3: a little bit spicy CeNSE off a leader sounds might
11:10
Speaker 3: yps Stash it in your back pocket and start using
11:14
Speaker 3: it now.
11:16
Speaker 4: Great idea, good idea. Okay. The next one comes from Danny,
11:19
Speaker 4: who says joining Queensland Country Bank smart budget was the
11:22
Speaker 4: best decision I've ever made. We're able to transfer a
11:25
Speaker 4: set amount every week slash fortnite to cover literally every
11:28
Speaker 4: single bill throughout the year with one hundred percent full
11:31
Speaker 4: confidence all our bills are covered. They also put a
11:34
Speaker 4: ten percent contingency on top of every bill, which then
11:37
Speaker 4: goes into your rainy day account. It's called Queensland Country
11:40
Speaker 4: Bank Smart Budget, so that's the full name of it.
11:44
Speaker 4: It's quite a mouthful. So if you're in Queensland, I'm
11:46
Speaker 4: assuming just like check it out. It sounds like I
11:49
Speaker 4: don't know what the hell they're doing, but to be
11:50
Speaker 4: able to cover every single bill with one hundred percent
11:52
Speaker 4: full confidence, I'm like, I've never ever made life.
11:55
Speaker 2: That is what that kind of budgeting is going to
11:57
Speaker 2: do for you.
11:58
Speaker 4: It is, but it's also this ten percent and contingency
12:01
Speaker 4: on top of every bill, which I have no idea
12:03
Speaker 4: what that means, but it just means.
12:04
Speaker 2: That they're adding ten percent to every bill.
12:06
Speaker 3: They are or the bank is no, no, no, Like
12:08
Speaker 3: they're budgeting and they're being told put an extra ten
12:12
Speaker 3: percent aside because if something goes wrong, you'll have a
12:15
Speaker 3: contingency plan and you'll be okay.
12:18
Speaker 2: And that is what good budgeting is going to do
12:19
Speaker 2: for you. My friend, God, yeah, I love it.
12:22
Speaker 4: And then my one for this week my friends went
12:24
Speaker 4: to I think Argentina or something like that. Okay, nice,
12:27
Speaker 4: Actually they didn't be europe trip, I should say, but
12:29
Speaker 4: that doesn't sound like a money I don't know, it doesn't,
12:32
Speaker 4: it doesn't. But they said that they barely paid for
12:35
Speaker 4: accommodation because they just like looked up. There's a few
12:38
Speaker 4: of them, but Trusted house Sitters is the one that
12:40
Speaker 4: they used, and they just like genius went around the
12:42
Speaker 4: world and the house sat Maybe they had to like
12:45
Speaker 4: feed a dog here or there, but for the most
12:47
Speaker 4: part they were just like living in people's houses or
12:49
Speaker 4: that's my dream.
12:51
Speaker 5: So cool.
12:51
Speaker 3: So when I travel and I think you're the same jest,
12:53
Speaker 3: we just missed our pets. Like you go away and
12:56
Speaker 3: you're like I cannot wait for a two week holiday,
12:58
Speaker 3: And then I'm on the holiday and I'm like, I
13:00
Speaker 3: wonder what Lucy's doing. Yeah, she's having a good time,
13:03
Speaker 3: and I know she's fine. But imagine getting a pet
13:05
Speaker 3: while you're overseas. I know, el'st call me up. If
13:10
Speaker 3: you live in London and you've got a bougie apartment,
13:12
Speaker 3: I'm come live with you and pat your dog.
13:15
Speaker 4: And sometimes you don't need to even take care of
13:17
Speaker 4: a pet because people just want someone in their house,
13:19
Speaker 4: like make sure everything's okay in the world. So you
13:23
Speaker 4: might not even have any responsibility except for, like, I don't.
13:26
Speaker 2: Know, not breaking their stuff. I think it's a great idea.
13:28
Speaker 2: I love that.
13:29
Speaker 3: All right, Well, we're about to take a really quick break,
13:32
Speaker 3: but when we get back, we'll be discussing a pretty
13:34
Speaker 3: pleasant money dilemma about earning well and wanting to know
13:37
Speaker 3: just how much to commit to as a money goal
13:40
Speaker 3: without overstretching.
13:41
Speaker 2: So guys, stay tuned.
13:46
Speaker 4: Welcome back, everybody. Let's take a listen to this week's
13:49
Speaker 4: money dilemma.
13:52
Speaker 7: Hi, there, have you got a money dilemma you just
13:54
Speaker 7: can't solve? That She's on the Money team is here
13:57
Speaker 7: to help. Every week we tackle your dilemmas, both big
14:00
Speaker 7: and small, to answer your most burning money, career and
14:03
Speaker 7: life questions. To get involved, simply head to our website
14:06
Speaker 7: and leave us a short voice recording and you might
14:08
Speaker 7: just find yourself on the show.
14:10
Speaker 2: Now, let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma.
14:15
Speaker 2: Have your friend to the girls that she's on the money.
14:18
Speaker 4: I've tried to do this recording a few times.
14:19
Speaker 6: It's actually quite hard.
14:21
Speaker 2: Just looking for some advice.
14:22
Speaker 1: My partner and I have her just a.
14:24
Speaker 6: Property together using his equity and my cash. I do
14:30
Speaker 6: have a bit more spendable income than heed us, so
14:35
Speaker 6: I'm struggling a little bit trying to find balance between
14:38
Speaker 6: wanting to knock down these goals as quick as possible,
14:42
Speaker 6: but also not trying to over extend myself where I
14:45
Speaker 6: feel like I'm contributing significantly more than his. We both
14:50
Speaker 6: do have our own offset accounts. But just looking at
14:54
Speaker 6: any other advice on how to balance this, what's still
14:58
Speaker 6: tackling these goals?
15:00
Speaker 3: Thank you?
15:01
Speaker 2: I love this question. This queen has more money than
15:04
Speaker 2: her partner, big money win.
15:06
Speaker 3: But also I just feel like it's it's a flex
15:10
Speaker 3: to be the female in the relationship earning more Like
15:13
Speaker 3: don't get me wrong, I want a relationship built on
15:16
Speaker 3: equity and like what's mine is yours and what's yours
15:19
Speaker 3: is mine like in my household, right yeah, but low
15:22
Speaker 3: key in the background, just knowing that like the women.
15:25
Speaker 2: Are now becoming the breadwinners, like pop off queen.
15:28
Speaker 7: I love this.
15:29
Speaker 2: What do you reckon, Jess?
15:30
Speaker 3: When it comes to maybe over extending yourself and not
15:32
Speaker 3: wanting to spend more on goals than your partner is.
15:36
Speaker 5: I think for most people there's going to be a
15:38
Speaker 5: situation where one partner is out earning the other. Like
15:40
Speaker 5: I think it's it's just like the way of the world.
15:43
Speaker 5: Who that is either way. But I think it's going
15:46
Speaker 5: to be very rare that you're both in a position
15:48
Speaker 5: where contributing the same exact amount makes the most sense financially.
15:52
Speaker 5: I would maybe look at doing it as a percentage
15:54
Speaker 5: of income, so you know, you each contribute twenty percent
15:57
Speaker 5: of your income.
15:57
Speaker 2: Towards the goals or whatever.
15:59
Speaker 5: I think it is going to depend on how you
16:01
Speaker 5: approach finances. Like you've said, ved for you and your partner,
16:05
Speaker 5: everything is it's our money, right, it doesn't matter who
16:08
Speaker 5: earns it or how much it is.
16:09
Speaker 2: It belongs to both of you.
16:10
Speaker 5: I understand that when you are you know, not everybody
16:12
Speaker 5: chooses to manage their money that way. That's not how
16:14
Speaker 5: my partner and I do it.
16:15
Speaker 2: It's not always the smartest decision.
16:17
Speaker 5: Yeah, And there's all these different factors that can come
16:19
Speaker 5: into it. So I think percentage base makes it feel
16:21
Speaker 5: a bit more fair because you do have to acknowledge
16:23
Speaker 5: that the person who earns more money is in a
16:25
Speaker 5: more comfortable position, like it's just the nature of the beast,
16:28
Speaker 5: and so finding a way that you can contribute equal
16:32
Speaker 5: feeling amounts I think is important so nobody feels uncomfortable.
16:37
Speaker 5: But also, you know, if you are working towards shared goals,
16:40
Speaker 5: I'm of the mindset of, well, if you can get
16:42
Speaker 5: there faster, like why not, and you can put protections
16:45
Speaker 5: in place. I think it's important to think about worst
16:48
Speaker 5: case scenario. We all know me, I'm a catastrophizer. So really,
16:51
Speaker 5: if we're saving for a house deposit and you know
16:53
Speaker 5: you're putting in double what your partner's putting in, can
16:55
Speaker 5: we put something in place to say that God forbid everything?
16:58
Speaker 5: You know when a shape that you're getting back what
17:01
Speaker 5: you put in. So making sure you have those conversations.
17:04
Speaker 5: You can formalize things in writing or speak to your
17:07
Speaker 5: legal counsel and stuff like that. But I think ultimately
17:10
Speaker 5: percentages to me, feels like a much more fair way
17:12
Speaker 5: to approach it.
17:14
Speaker 2: But again, it's totally up to you guys.
17:16
Speaker 5: In the way that you handle money.
17:17
Speaker 2: There's really no right or wrong.
17:19
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think like if it's renting or if it's
17:21
Speaker 4: any other like you know, groceries and stuff like that.
17:23
Speaker 4: I feel like equity is so fine, like maybe you
17:26
Speaker 4: can like pay most of the utility bills, spend most
17:28
Speaker 4: on the groceries, whatever, whatever equity looks like in your relationship.
17:31
Speaker 4: But when it comes to this house, I would do
17:33
Speaker 4: the same. I'd be like, oh, maybe I'll put like
17:35
Speaker 4: two thousand dollars and you put one thousand dollars per month.
17:37
Speaker 4: But I think just keeping track of that, and like
17:39
Speaker 4: you're having something in writing so that if you do
17:41
Speaker 4: separate in the future and you need to like sell
17:44
Speaker 4: the house, then it's just like even if they turn
17:47
Speaker 4: to a really mean person and they you know, fighting
17:49
Speaker 4: for you know more of it. It's like you have
17:51
Speaker 4: it in writing. No matter what happens, you will get
17:54
Speaker 4: at least you know what you've put in. I think.
17:56
Speaker 4: So I think that just just that part of it,
17:59
Speaker 4: just that portion of it, have it in writing the
18:01
Speaker 4: rest of your life, equity, whatever, whatever you know, Do
18:04
Speaker 4: it feels good?
18:05
Speaker 2: Do it feels good? What do you think? I think
18:07
Speaker 2: what you think? And that's really hard.
18:10
Speaker 3: And I know that this is, you know, a money
18:11
Speaker 3: dilemma because you're like, how do I balance my money
18:13
Speaker 3: goals without overextending, Well, I think you need to step
18:17
Speaker 3: back and have some conversations without your partner, just with yourself,
18:21
Speaker 3: like what are your money goals? What are you trying
18:24
Speaker 3: to commit to? What do you mean by over extending?
18:27
Speaker 3: Like what does that actually look like? Are you saying
18:29
Speaker 3: that you're worried you'll commit too much to these goals
18:32
Speaker 3: and you've got other goals? Well, then those other goals
18:34
Speaker 3: are important as well, So like, what do you mean
18:37
Speaker 3: by over extending?
18:39
Speaker 2: Does that make sense?
18:40
Speaker 3: Like, let's have a chat with ourselves and then take
18:42
Speaker 3: that knowledge into the conversations that we're having with our partner.
18:46
Speaker 2: Because if I'm just having conversations with my.
18:49
Speaker 3: Partner, right he wants to go on golf trips, he
18:52
Speaker 3: wants to do things that I'm not that interested in
18:55
Speaker 3: in that aspect. I mean, he'll probably say, oh, I
18:58
Speaker 3: want to go on a family holiday. Great, I'm interested
18:59
Speaker 3: in yeah. But if I'm not coming to that conversation
19:02
Speaker 3: with other things that I want to achieve, well, then
19:05
Speaker 3: we're just looking at the budget and divving it up
19:07
Speaker 3: amongst the goals. And then you know, a year from now,
19:09
Speaker 3: I'll be like, oh, but we haven't done anything for
19:11
Speaker 3: me well, whose fault is that? Like, and we're not
19:14
Speaker 3: playing a blame game, but like, come to the conversation
19:17
Speaker 3: being like, oh, I would really like to achieve a
19:20
Speaker 3: B or C or like, your goals might look completely different.
19:23
Speaker 3: You might say, well, actually, I really want to save
19:25
Speaker 3: up and I want to buy a bike, I want
19:27
Speaker 3: to get into cycling, and you know, this is what
19:29
Speaker 3: I'm budgeting. Like, it doesn't matter what it is. But
19:32
Speaker 3: come to the conversation with an understanding of what overextending
19:35
Speaker 3: might look like, because more often than not, from my experience,
19:39
Speaker 3: when people say they don't want to overextend themselves, they
19:43
Speaker 3: might not actually have a specific goal in mind either.
19:46
Speaker 3: They might just be like, I just don't want to
19:47
Speaker 3: feel like I can't seize an opportunity Victoria, which is
19:50
Speaker 3: all great, fair, we just need some wiggle room in
19:53
Speaker 3: our budget. That means that we'll you know, top up
19:56
Speaker 3: a savings fund for something in the future. We don't
19:59
Speaker 3: know what that means. We don't know what that's for,
20:01
Speaker 3: but it just means that instead of budgeting. You know,
20:03
Speaker 3: you said before you do a thousand dollars a month, Well, great,
20:06
Speaker 3: maybe we do nine hundred dollars a month. And I'm
20:08
Speaker 3: putting some aside for you know, me to be spontaneous.
20:12
Speaker 3: So for me, when people have always historically said, oh,
20:15
Speaker 3: I don't want to overextend, it's usually I don't want
20:18
Speaker 3: to commit to something because I don't know what else
20:21
Speaker 3: I might want to do.
20:23
Speaker 2: And that's okay, that's all right.
20:24
Speaker 3: Let's just make sure we've got some wiggle room in
20:26
Speaker 3: our budget so that you know, the entire budget isn't
20:30
Speaker 3: your mortgage to repayment, and yeah, you can't do anything.
20:33
Speaker 2: Yeah, does that make sense? So good abye?
20:36
Speaker 3: Thanks, I made it up myself. Look, we stan a voicemail.
20:40
Speaker 3: I love hearing your voices in my ear holes, but
20:44
Speaker 3: we also accept your dilemmas in DM form. And this
20:46
Speaker 3: one comes from one of our followers who writes, Hi, guys,
20:51
Speaker 3: my mummy dilemma is how do I become more comfortable
20:53
Speaker 3: with talking about my finances with my partner. We've been
20:57
Speaker 3: together for eighteen months and we are planning to get
21:00
Speaker 3: married next year. My partner is very open about his
21:03
Speaker 3: finances and wants to have a relationship discussion about our finances.
21:07
Speaker 2: For the future.
21:08
Speaker 3: I have twelve thousand dollars in savings, but I have
21:11
Speaker 3: ten thousand dollars in credit card debt from a European holiday,
21:14
Speaker 3: and I know I can hear Victoria's voice saying, well, actually,
21:17
Speaker 3: you don't have savings if you have debt, which I
21:20
Speaker 3: totally get. That's so funny because that's what I was thinking.
21:24
Speaker 3: But I've read your book and have been making double
21:27
Speaker 3: the minimum payments each month and I make extra when
21:30
Speaker 3: I can. It was originally a fifteen thousand dollar debt,
21:32
Speaker 3: and I feel a lot of shame around telling my
21:34
Speaker 3: partner about this, as I'm embarrassed. I even got a
21:37
Speaker 3: credit card because my mum had multiple growing up, and
21:40
Speaker 3: I actually had to declare bankruptcy when I was sixteen.
21:43
Speaker 3: Money talk makes me so uncomfortable due to the upbringing
21:46
Speaker 3: that I've had. I still can't speak about money out loud,
21:49
Speaker 3: and I feel so much shame.
21:51
Speaker 2: What do I do? Do I want to hug you?
21:55
Speaker 2: I know I want to hug you. Do you know
21:57
Speaker 2: what relatable? Feel like?
22:00
Speaker 4: I relate to this person because I really crashed out
22:02
Speaker 4: the other day at my friends because I was trying
22:04
Speaker 4: to say that I'm in this position financially, not purely
22:08
Speaker 4: because of the upbringing, but that's certainly some of it
22:10
Speaker 4: the same way you like have your mannerisms or the
22:12
Speaker 4: way you view the world or every single thing. I mean,
22:16
Speaker 4: some things are what is it nature, but a lot
22:18
Speaker 4: of things are nurture. And so I feel like when
22:20
Speaker 4: you're talking to someone who can't or won't or you're
22:22
Speaker 4: worried that they won't fully understand where you've come from
22:24
Speaker 4: and your journey and your relationship with money, and you
22:28
Speaker 4: feel like they'll be dismissive or just not take everything
22:30
Speaker 4: into consideration or just not even be able to understand
22:34
Speaker 4: where you're coming from, then it is really scary. But
22:36
Speaker 4: I think that having an honest, open conversation about like
22:39
Speaker 4: your relationship with money before I suppose even talking about
22:42
Speaker 4: money might help.
22:43
Speaker 2: For me.
22:44
Speaker 4: It's like the anxiety of knowing that the person won't
22:48
Speaker 4: really get it, the feeling of feeling like sickness or
22:51
Speaker 4: something like or yeah, just knowing that you might be misunderstood.
22:56
Speaker 4: It's really not the money even, it's just like hoping
22:59
Speaker 4: that they see all of you and your full story
23:02
Speaker 4: while talking about money, you know, and so I forget
23:06
Speaker 4: that yeah, yeah, And it's like hopefully, like if you're
23:09
Speaker 4: planning to get married with this person. I'm sure they're
23:11
Speaker 4: quite understanding and empathetic and hopefully have the emotional intelligence
23:14
Speaker 4: enough to yeah, kind of see you and see all
23:16
Speaker 4: of you and see your whole money story. But I
23:19
Speaker 4: think talking about that first and then talking about money,
23:23
Speaker 4: because that will really help I think along the way
23:25
Speaker 4: I feel like when I was in this situation, and
23:28
Speaker 4: maybe you'll resonate with this beck and maybe even you
23:30
Speaker 4: just because you've been in debt before as well. I
23:33
Speaker 4: don't want to be judged, but I also don't want
23:36
Speaker 4: to be dismissed, so like I want to be able
23:40
Speaker 4: to have a conversation and be like, oh, this is
23:41
Speaker 4: really hard for me. But I don't want someone to say, oh, Jess,
23:45
Speaker 4: it's not that deep, don't worry about it, because to me,
23:47
Speaker 4: it is that deep. Like to me, my debt carried
23:50
Speaker 4: so much shame and so much like wait, like I
23:55
Speaker 4: was up and I always say flippantly, oh yeah, it'll
23:57
Speaker 4: keep you off at three am, like yeah, most nights crying, upset, stressed,
24:02
Speaker 4: feeling sick to the bottom of my stomach, like not
24:04
Speaker 4: being able to function in some conversations because I felt
24:08
Speaker 4: so sick about money and was so distracted by those
24:11
Speaker 4: like thoughts that when I finally talk about it, how
24:14
Speaker 4: do how do I tell someone that? How do I go, Oh,
24:17
Speaker 4: this doesn't just stress me out, it's like all consuming
24:20
Speaker 4: and overwhelming, And then I'm worried or I remember being worried,
24:24
Speaker 4: not only that somebody would judge me and be like, oh,
24:27
Speaker 4: I can't believe you do that.
24:28
Speaker 3: But on the flip side, someone would be like, it's
24:30
Speaker 3: not that deep just got out of debt, and you go, oh,
24:33
Speaker 3: it's not that there's so much more to it, Like
24:37
Speaker 3: it's not that I'm there, it's also that I still
24:39
Speaker 3: have these mindsets and I don't think I can pull
24:41
Speaker 3: myself out of this, Like it's the lack of self belief,
24:44
Speaker 3: and so you're kind of like are hoping and this
24:46
Speaker 3: was me maybe that that conversation wasn't just met with
24:49
Speaker 3: like no judgment, but it was met with like a
24:53
Speaker 3: help and a step up for like my own self confidence.
24:57
Speaker 3: Like I wanted to walk away feeling empowered from those conversations,
25:01
Speaker 3: but you can't just say, hey, Mola, talk to you
25:04
Speaker 3: about my debt, and this is how I want to
25:05
Speaker 3: feel walking away from this conversation, Like it's hard to
25:09
Speaker 3: open up about those things, and I think it is
25:11
Speaker 3: really common for people who grow up around financial stress
25:14
Speaker 3: to then avoid it because usually financial stress created conflict.
25:19
Speaker 3: We don't want conflict, right, Yeah, so jess what are
25:23
Speaker 3: your thoughts?
25:24
Speaker 2: I think, like to flip the narrow over around a
25:26
Speaker 2: little bit.
25:26
Speaker 5: Your partner is doing exactly what we would recommend anybody
25:29
Speaker 5: do when planning to join your finances.
25:31
Speaker 2: Congratulations on the upcoming wedding. By the way, green flag,
25:34
Speaker 2: very exciting, huge green flag. Where's the green flag? Man
25:36
Speaker 2: running around the giant flag? Like this is great? Like
25:39
Speaker 2: this is such a positive thing.
25:41
Speaker 5: I think the fact that he wants to have this
25:42
Speaker 5: conversation is like something that you should feel really good about,
25:46
Speaker 5: Like it means he wants to be on the same page,
25:48
Speaker 5: he wants.
25:49
Speaker 2: To open the door.
25:50
Speaker 5: He might have noticed maybe that there's a lack of
25:52
Speaker 5: comfort with having those conversations sometimes, you know, I think
25:56
Speaker 5: the three of us, because of what we do, like
25:57
Speaker 5: where those people who are always very comfortable having these converses.
26:00
Speaker 5: Sometimes you can tell when you try and have a
26:02
Speaker 5: conversation or money comes up colloquially with somebody, you can
26:06
Speaker 5: sense a little bit of discomfort. So maybe this is
26:08
Speaker 5: even like he's sensed a little bit of your discomfort
26:10
Speaker 5: and he's trying to open the door, like this is
26:12
Speaker 5: the step for that, which I think is awesome and
26:15
Speaker 5: that's really great. I think exactly that you guys were saying,
26:18
Speaker 5: like your feelings are valid and totally understandable, but at
26:22
Speaker 5: the same time, if this is the person you're going
26:24
Speaker 5: to spend the rest of your life with, like they're
26:26
Speaker 5: going to see you in some compromising positions.
26:28
Speaker 2: You know, across the course of your relationship. They are
26:30
Speaker 2: really going to see it all.
26:31
Speaker 3: Like I wish someone had said that to me when
26:35
Speaker 3: I was trying to disclose to Steve that I had
26:37
Speaker 3: debt and I just like ruminated on it.
26:39
Speaker 2: Yeah, that man's gone to see me give birth.
26:41
Speaker 5: Literally, they're probably going to see you go to the
26:44
Speaker 5: bathroom like all my boyfriend's held my hair, Will I
26:47
Speaker 5: vomit it?
26:47
Speaker 2: Like they say it all right, yeah, like you're going
26:50
Speaker 2: to see you.
26:50
Speaker 5: In much worse situations than bearing your soul, I think.
26:55
Speaker 5: And so if we can temper your emotions with the
26:59
Speaker 5: feelings of love that you feel for your partner and
27:01
Speaker 5: the sense of safety and security that I hope that
27:04
Speaker 5: they give you I hope that that will just help
27:06
Speaker 5: you feel a bit more confident going because.
27:08
Speaker 2: You have nothing to be embarrassed about.
27:09
Speaker 5: You're also doing amazing, like you're paying down your debt,
27:12
Speaker 5: you have a plan, you have savings, like you're in
27:14
Speaker 5: a really good position, honestly, and having this conversation will
27:18
Speaker 5: allow you to look at that and maybe you might
27:20
Speaker 5: want to consider whether you use a portion of your
27:23
Speaker 5: savings to pay off a chunk of debt, or you
27:25
Speaker 5: might want to have a plan because you, guys, might
27:27
Speaker 5: have shared goals for the wedding or the honeymoon or
27:30
Speaker 5: whatever comes next for you. Guys. I think only positive
27:34
Speaker 5: things can come from having this conversation. And you're getting married,
27:38
Speaker 5: You found your person, and I just hope that they
27:40
Speaker 5: give you that sense of support and love that you
27:42
Speaker 5: need to be able to lift this weight.
27:44
Speaker 4: A little bit.
27:45
Speaker 2: Exactly exactly let everyone else say so.
27:48
Speaker 3: I asked the community, is it common for people who
27:51
Speaker 3: grew up around financial stress to avoid talking about money
27:54
Speaker 3: out loud? Eighty nine percent of you said yes, yeh unsurprising.
27:58
Speaker 3: Then we asked, would you feel hurt if your partner
28:01
Speaker 3: hid debt from you?
28:03
Speaker 2: Ninety four percent of you said yes.
28:06
Speaker 3: Then we asked, have you ever hidden debt from a
28:08
Speaker 3: partner because you felt ashamed? This was not what I expected.
28:13
Speaker 3: So twenty six percent of you said yes, seventy four
28:16
Speaker 3: percent of you said no. I thought that that would
28:19
Speaker 3: be a little bit higher, not from a place of judgment,
28:21
Speaker 3: but more from a place of flirt.
28:23
Speaker 2: I did it, don't doesn't everybody do this?
28:25
Speaker 1: Ye?
28:26
Speaker 3: Maybe I was just looking for some self validation there
28:29
Speaker 3: and I didn't find debt. But then we went to
28:32
Speaker 3: the community and we said, all right, guys, what is
28:34
Speaker 3: your two cents? First person said, explain it to your
28:36
Speaker 3: partner like you just did hear? Yeah, genuinely, they will
28:40
Speaker 3: get it, They will understand. Another person said, talking about
28:44
Speaker 3: it makes you take accountability, and that's the first step
28:47
Speaker 3: towards getting out of this situation. Another person said, good
28:51
Speaker 3: debt and bad debt are very different. Debt of a
28:53
Speaker 3: car is okay debt due to gambling? No, I think
28:56
Speaker 3: it would depend on the situation, which is so true.
28:59
Speaker 3: Like you're not going into this conversation being like, hey,
29:02
Speaker 3: I've fritted away all of this, and I mean, you
29:05
Speaker 3: could frame it however you want, but like it sounds
29:08
Speaker 3: like you really wanted to experience a life event that
29:10
Speaker 3: you couldn't afford at the time, and you took all
29:13
Speaker 3: the tools and resources that you had and decided, I'm
29:15
Speaker 3: going to go into debt for that, and I'm really
29:17
Speaker 3: happy to pay that off later and that's all good
29:20
Speaker 3: for me. Yeah, Like, you don't have to go into
29:22
Speaker 3: this and be like, oh my god, I have credit
29:24
Speaker 3: card debt. No, because like, entering the conversation that way
29:28
Speaker 3: is going to purposefully position it to your partner that
29:31
Speaker 3: this is shameful. Yeah, let's position it as I had
29:34
Speaker 3: a holiday, I'm still paying off and I've got this
29:36
Speaker 3: amount in the bank.
29:37
Speaker 2: What should we do? How are you going to fund life? Yeah?
29:39
Speaker 3: Like approach it how you want him to maybe approach it.
29:43
Speaker 3: The next is definitely talk to Victoria about just paying
29:48
Speaker 3: off your credit card debt from your savings.
29:51
Speaker 2: I didn't even mention it.
29:52
Speaker 3: You know what I think, But I also know that
29:54
Speaker 3: money is not inherently black and white. I need an
29:58
Speaker 3: emergency fun Yeah, you might need lots of things, and yes,
30:02
Speaker 3: on paper, the idea is to pay off that debt.
30:05
Speaker 3: You said You've got twelve thousand dollars worth of savings
30:08
Speaker 3: and ten thousand dollars worth of debt to me, you
30:10
Speaker 3: have two thousand dollars worth of savings, pay off your debt.
30:12
Speaker 3: We're a clean slate, We're good to go. That's exactly
30:15
Speaker 3: what I would recommend. But your emotions are layered over that,
30:18
Speaker 3: and that's okay, And maybe you're not ready for that
30:21
Speaker 3: decision to be made, and maybe that's not something you
30:23
Speaker 3: want to do. I get it, Like, I am not
30:26
Speaker 3: going to pretend that real life doesn't get overlaid over
30:29
Speaker 3: textbook perfection. Yeah, but textbook perfection would say that you
30:33
Speaker 3: just wipe out that debt and start from a clean slate,
30:36
Speaker 3: And I would question why you're not doing that. So
30:39
Speaker 3: maybe have a chat to yourself about, Yeah, why aren't
30:41
Speaker 3: you doing that? What's going on here? Why are you
30:43
Speaker 3: holding back? The next person said, I have two thoughts.
30:47
Speaker 3: I don't think it's shameful if you're prioritizing payments and
30:50
Speaker 3: addressing it.
30:51
Speaker 2: You're tackling this right.
30:52
Speaker 3: Now and traveling while you're young was worth the debt
30:56
Speaker 3: for me. I wish I had done more of it.
30:58
Speaker 2: There you go. The person said, if they are a.
31:01
Speaker 3: Loving and supporting partner, they would want to work towards
31:04
Speaker 3: a shared solution and then someone else and this will
31:07
Speaker 3: be my last one said. Telling my partner in the
31:09
Speaker 3: end was actually the best thing. He helped me make
31:12
Speaker 3: a debt free plan and now we are thriving, gorgeous.
31:15
Speaker 2: The future is bright.
31:16
Speaker 3: The future is very bright, and it's exactly what you
31:19
Speaker 3: want to make of it. And my friend, we hear you,
31:21
Speaker 3: we see you, and you know what sucks. Debt shame
31:24
Speaker 3: sucks even more so, my friends. Unfortunately, that is all
31:27
Speaker 3: we have time for today. If you enjoyed this episode,
31:31
Speaker 3: please send it around, because the more friends we have,
31:33
Speaker 3: the better when it comes to She's on the Money.
31:35
Speaker 3: Also have a little think about sending us a money dilemma,
31:38
Speaker 3: or a question of the week, or even a little
31:40
Speaker 3: cheeky review. My friends, take care of yourselves and of
31:43
Speaker 3: each other. We'll see you on Monday with a fresh money.
31:46
Speaker 4: Diary by Guy Bye.
31:51
Speaker 7: The Bye shared on Shees on the Money is general
31:54
Speaker 7: in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's
31:58
Speaker 7: on the Money exists purely for edge occational purposes and
32:01
Speaker 7: should not be relied upon to make an investment or
32:03
Speaker 7: financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product,
32:07
Speaker 7: read the PDS TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored
32:11
Speaker 7: towards your needs. Victoria Divine and Sheese on the Money
32:14
Speaker 7: are authorized representatives of Money.
32:17
Speaker 2: Sheerfer Pty Ltd
32:18
Speaker 7: A BN three two one six four nine two seven
32:22
Speaker 7: seven zero eight AFSL four five one two eight nine