Latest / JOY LOVING HOME - SAHM, Productivity, Home Organization, Declutter, ADHD Mom, ADHD SAHM, ADHD Brain / 275: 4 Things Keeping You Stuck - Part 1 - Match Your Capacity

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275: 4 Things Keeping You Stuck - Part 1 - Match Your Capacity · JOY LOVING HOME - SAHM, Productivity, Home Organization, Declutter, ADHD Mom, ADHD SAHM, ADHD Brain

• 0:01
  Welcome to the Joy Loving Home Podcast. Today I am jumping into a four-part
• 0:06
  series and these episodes are going to come out back to back starting today,
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  September 1st, and rolling through this Friday, September 4th.
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  And we are going to cover the four major things that are keeping you stuck,
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  some tips on how to get unstuck, and then one really big sort of bit of bonus
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  information if you really want to get on a roll with conquering your home and
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  your planning and your productivity and just the action,
• 0:36
  that you would like to be taking, but you keep staying stuck.
• 0:41
  So if you have ADHD or believe that you do, I'm sure by now you have discovered that you have two modes.
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  You have the, I am hitting the ground hard. Everything is coming easily.
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  I am knocking things out left and right. I am the energizer bunny right until that battery goes dead.
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  And then I look around with absolutely no energy left and a lot of things have been left incomplete.
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  Or you're on that opposite end in which no matter how many exciting things you
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  can think of in your head and that you want to do and,
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  you're excited in your head about the thought of doing them,
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  you cannot get your body to take
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  any motion towards accomplishing anything at all. You with me on that?
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  Are you feeling one way or the other, particularly as we're listening,
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  as you're listening right now?
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  Well, I want to talk about how we harness this, both sides of this.
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  In part one, understanding your capacity.
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  A wise person once said, everybody is a genius, but if you judge a fish by its
• 1:58
  ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it's stupid.
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  Well, Fish, quit trying to climb trees while getting advice from well-intentioned monkeys.
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  It's time to jump in the water and learn how to swim with the current of your life.
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  I'm Joy, a professional organizer, mom of four, and fellow Fishbrain.
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  If you're looking for a place to get understanding, encouragement and ideas
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  for your home that actually fit how your brain thinks,
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  then i'm glad you're here let's ditch the type a advice and embrace what makes
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  our brains and our homes unique together we could have a joy loving home.
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  So we have these very fickle fish brains, if you were listening to my intro.
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  And sometimes it feels literally like all we do is just get slowly pulled by
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  the current work swimming in.
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  And we just sort of exist in lazy river mode, right? Just those tubes you ride
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  around and you're just circling.
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  Just not really accomplishing anything. You're just circling in this little
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  whirlpool of lazy river motion.
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  And these days we can get aggravated by that stuff in our head because we are
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  creative brains and we think of all kinds of things.
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  We get inspired by the stuff we see and we believe we can accomplish so many
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  different things and we can do that as well as that person.
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  And we could have that in our home if we would just take action.
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  And we would just, we have these, ah, these intentions, but we can't get ourselves
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  off of that stinking lazy river tube to actually get into motion, real motion.
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  And then we have those rapid current days where we are just swimming our hearts
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  out, knocking things out left and right.
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  And our creativity is sparking and we're just, we're loving this day right up until the crash.
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  And unfortunately, that crash can feel like it lasts three times as long as
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  any productive day ever did.
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  And that can be incredibly frustrating. And maybe you've taken the time to try
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  to examine this because you're just like, how can I anticipate one of those
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  productive days so I can be ready for it or how can I?
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  Make one of those productive days actually happen for myself instead of being
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  stuck in this stinking lazy river mode that I don't want to be stuck in.
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  But trying to capture a current is like trying to capture lightning in a bottle.
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  It is not something that we can control.
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  So what do we do?
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  Great. Thanks for describing how my brain feels joy, but like, what do we do?
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  So instead of feeling guilty all of the time when we're on those down,
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  inactive, stuck, lazy river types of days, the guilt actually is not productive.
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  The guilt produces nothing.
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  Guilt is such a wasted emotion that we're going to quit spending our time on.
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  Instead, what I would like you to start asking yourself is, what is my capacity today?
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  Just be aware of it. Don't place...
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  Benefit or negativity or don't label the capacity as good or bad.
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  Simply identify the capacity.
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  Am I in a lazy river day? And if I'm in a lazy river day or,
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  oh gosh, I can feel it. I am actually in a current today. I feel the buzz of energy today.
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  Label it so that you're aware of it.
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  The most important thing we can do when we identify our capacity is to make
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  sure the tasks that we are going to attempt match that energy.
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  And what I mean by this is if you are having,
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  a lazy river day and you try to do something that is creative and super productive,
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  you are going to constantly feel like you are swimming upstream and you're going to start,
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  beating yourself up on your inability to accomplish anything.
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  And it's going to just get worse and worse.
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  On the flip side, if you identify that you're in one of those creative days
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  and you're like, great, I'm finally up, I have the energy, let's go dig the kitchen out.
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  Digging the kitchen out on a day when you actually finally got a spark is the
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  quickest way to douse that spark with water.
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  Doing a boring task on a creative, high-energy day literally will snuff that spark out.
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  I am telling you, as much as you're like, but Joy, when do I ever catch up if
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  all I want to do is the creative stuff on the active days?
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  Sorry. Sorry.
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  That is your brain. And any motion, even if it feels like you're just project
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  braining it, is still going to be an improvement over,
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  snuffing out the final actual action that you were feeling or the action you're finally feeling.
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  You want to keep it going. You want to do whatever action you can do on an active
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  day, don't ever snuff it out. It's like waking the baby.
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  You don't want that to happen. So you need to match your activity with your capacity.
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  And you need to not apologize for it. And you need to not feel guilty about it.
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  You just need to be aware of it. So on your low capacity days,
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  on your lazy river days, you need to do the mindless things.
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  You need to say, all I have to do is take a little bit of motion.
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  Can I just go ahead and make this bed? Can I just bring all of the things in
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  the kitchen over towards a sink of soapy water?
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  Can I just pick some stuff off the floor in the living room so I'm not stepping over it?
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  Can I just,
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  wipe down one gross glob of toothpaste out of the sink.
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  Just small little bits of motion.
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  Don't try to think of them as a whole to-do list. Don't think of them as a whole
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  task. Don't think of them as, well, you know, today I feel low capacity,
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  so I'm just going to clean the kitchen. It's got to be smaller.
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  It's got to be bite-sized. It's got to be motion. It's just got to be,
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  if I give myself permission for this much motion, then yay.
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  Just great for me. And then all those wonderful, exciting things that are swirling
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  through your head match those with the frenetic energy you feel when you catch a current.
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  So maybe instead of saying, oh, wow, I finally caught my energy.
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  I'm going to go clean up the whole kitchen.
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  You give yourself permission to literally open a cabinet and pull everything
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  out and start dealing with it.
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  And I know you're like, joy, but that's when I get stuck in the Energizer bunny
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  dies and like everything from that cabinet is now all over the kitchen and I lose all momentum.
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  Hopefully giving yourself permission to do the cabinet first and getting excited
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  about actually accomplishing just one cabinet, it gets you excited to be like, wow, that felt great.
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  And now I want to actually put these other three pots in to make sure they fit
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  in this pot cabinet, but they're still by the sink. Okay, I'm just going to
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  wash those three pots and I'm going to put those in the sink,
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  in those in the cabinet and make sure it all fits.
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  Okay, that was kind of cool. And then you move over to the next cabinet,
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  which was like deciding if you really needed all the utensils because your drawer never shuts.
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  And so you start grabbing a box and you toss in all the utensils and you wipe
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  down the cabinet or the drawer that had all the utensils in it.
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  And you start to put them back in, but you realize you've got 12 utensils still
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  by the sink and you're like, I'm just going to wash just those 12 utensils because
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  I want to make these decisions. And.
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  All of a sudden, you kind of turn around at the end of the fact that you keep
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  getting wins on your high energy day and you are like, wow, I didn't even realize.
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  But in the midst of this, I actually did wash 70% of the dishes.
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  And now I actually have room to stuff the dishwasher with a few more and at
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  least get it running. And like, that feels great.
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  And then I discovered in the midst of doing that, there were actually two parts
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  of the countertop that are empty.
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  And I'm actually going to wipe those down. and why that felt good.
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  And next thing I know, I was actually moving stuff over to the one cabinet counter
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  I emptied by the sink because I did all those other dishes.
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  And now I've wiped off three quarters of my kitchen before everything burned
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  out. And I wasn't intending to clean the kitchen and I wasn't intending to clear
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  out two cabinets in a drawer.
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  But all of a sudden I did all those things because today was a high energy day.
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  So match your capacity with your tasks and start getting really good at identifying the capacity.
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  Now, I can hear your brain and it is saying joy.
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  I've been stuck in a lazy river day for four years. This is not helping me.
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  I don't get those bursts of high energy that you're describing.
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  And I don't know what to do to ever get past feeling like all I am doing is
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  bailing my sinking boat of water.
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  So I make no headway on anything ever.
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  If that is you, or if you are even one of the first descriptions I gave,
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  what you're missing and what will make all of this better is some actual accountability.
• 12:27
  You can get your accountability in a number of ways, but the one I would like
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  to recommend is for you to join Fish School.
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  Fish School is my brand new membership community that is starting on September.
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  Wait for it.
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  I don't have it in front of me. September 8th, because that is the day after Labor Day.
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  And I was trying to wait for everybody's kids to be in school and everybody's
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  last minute summer vacations to be over, because we never like to start where
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  we feel like we're already behind.
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  So I am opening Fish School on September 8th, and I would love for you to be there.
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  And why will this type of accountability work?
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  Well, for one, it's designed specifically for your brain.
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  And the actual activities that we do in there are about how to figure out the type of action,
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  that you need, the type of motivation that will get you into that type of action,
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  and being involved with women who are just like you.
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  I promise you're not alone. We are encouraging.
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  We are kind.
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  We are absolutely nonjudgmental and we're fun. It's a fun group. We're small.
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  You are not going to be just a giant number where you don't ever feel like you
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  need to interact. And I know it's hard to be new. It's hard to be new in any
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  group where you feel like people already know each other.
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  And so in this particular first week, starting on September 8th.
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  We are going to just spend that whole week getting to know each other while
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  we take some of our action.
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  And so you'll feel like you're one of the gang in no time flat.
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  So if you're interested in Fish School and you want to read more about it and
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  see what all is involved, you can go to joylovinghome.com slash membership,
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  and you will arrive at all the details of Fish School where you can join immediately.
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  I am opening the checkout pages.
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  We are starting right away. You can join.
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  We won't actively start until the 8th, but you can get into the group,
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  start to notice what it's about, and love to have you there.
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  Can't wait to see you. I am telling you, having the accountability of people,
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  in the same river as you, I'm going to keep my fish theme rolling,
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  will truly make all the difference.
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  So stay tuned for tomorrow. I'm going to talk to you about another reason you
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  might be stuck and how to get out.
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  And yeah, until then, continue to choose joy.