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170. Get out the Hood! · Your Enriched Self

• 0:16
  Speaker 1: Oh, my friends from all across the globe, and welcome
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: to the Your Enriched Self Podcast. I am your host,
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: my Lee Noir. I am an emotional wellness and empowerment coach,
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  Speaker 1: and all that means is I am looking out for you.
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  Speaker 1: I want you to be the best version of you,
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  Speaker 1: and it starts with your mindset. It starts with your thoughts.
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  Speaker 1: Your thoughts they are manifestations of the things that you believe,
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  Speaker 1: and eventually you start to create affirmations good or bad
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  Speaker 1: in the world around you. And those words you speak,
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  Speaker 1: they change the trajectory of your life because words create worlds.
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  Speaker 1: And so it starts with mindful thinking and that's one
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  Speaker 1: of the things we do on this podcast. I want
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  Speaker 1: you to become more of your enriched self, and it
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  Speaker 1: starts with enriching the soil of your mind. So, if
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  Speaker 1: you are new to this podcast, welcome, Welcome, Welcome. I
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: know that you are brought here on purpose, for a purpose,
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: and I want to thank you for being here. And
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  Speaker 1: if you're a repeat listener, we are continuing walking through
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: three years of podcasting and I appreciate every air, every submission,
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  Speaker 1: every statement, every sharing of this podcast with your friends
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  Speaker 1: and family. So from the bottom of my heart, we
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  Speaker 1: could not do a podcast without you. Now, before we
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  Speaker 1: get into this week's episode, if you know you know,
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  Speaker 1: one of the things that I do is I make
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  Speaker 1: a deposit into the bank of you, and I do
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  Speaker 1: that by way of appations. Affirmations are a great way
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  Speaker 1: to start your day and to command your mourning. And
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  Speaker 1: this week's affirmation is I am working on me for me.
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  Speaker 1: I am working on me for me. I am working
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  Speaker 1: on me for me. Now, let's get ready for this
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  Speaker 1: week's episode of the Your Enriched Self podcast. Do you
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  Speaker 1: or someone you love identify as a victim or have
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  Speaker 1: identified as a victim? I think we need to move
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  Speaker 1: out of the space of victimhood. So many people, so
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  Speaker 1: many of you, have accepted victim home as your dwelling space,
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  Speaker 1: and today I want to help you break free from
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  Speaker 1: that because the victimhood that you have adopted, that you
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  Speaker 1: have identified with, is the very thing that is the
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  Speaker 1: downfall of you. Creating a space in your life, a
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  Speaker 1: space in your thoughts to plant the seeds for the
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  Speaker 1: things that you want to grow and harvest in your life.
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  Speaker 1: And it starts by first identifying that you are accountable
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  Speaker 1: to you now, if you are consistently seeing yourself as
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  Speaker 1: a victim, it means that you are likely not taking
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  Speaker 1: responsibility for your own actions and for the circumstances you
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  Speaker 1: find yourself in. And what that's doing is that it
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  Speaker 1: hinders your ability to grow. It hinders your ability to
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  Speaker 1: even face the challenges that you face or find solutions
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  Speaker 1: because you feel like everybody has wronged you or this
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  Speaker 1: is working against you, so you spend more time about
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  Speaker 1: how you feel and less time about finding solutions to
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  Speaker 1: help you, to empower you, to enable you. It literally
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  Speaker 1: takes away your ability to move throughout your own life.
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  Speaker 1: And I've said this before and I'll say it again.
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  Speaker 1: You are the common denominator to any and everything that's
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  Speaker 1: happening in your life. Victimhood is also as I mentioned,
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  Speaker 1: it takes away your ability to do. It puts you
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  Speaker 1: on a stage of helplessness, powerlessness. You're literally looking for
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  Speaker 1: a night and shining armor. You're listening for or or
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  Speaker 1: looking for someone who will listen to all your woes
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  Speaker 1: and all your drama and all the things that now
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  Speaker 1: have control over your life that have now demotivated you.
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  Speaker 1: Your ability to take next steps or first steps or
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  Speaker 1: proactive steps doesn't exist, and therefore you are not improving
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  Speaker 1: the situation that you're in. Some people, some of you,
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  Speaker 1: may find yourself in a financial situation, or a relationship situation,
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  Speaker 1: or a work situation, and it's everybody else's fault. It's
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  Speaker 1: everybody else's responsibility. It's what she said, is what he did,
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  Speaker 1: It's what they always do. But what about you? You
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  Speaker 1: leave yourself with little to no ambition because you've literally
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  Speaker 1: strangled the ambition out of your drive, out of your
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  Speaker 1: ability to be creative, and you have become passive. It's
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  Speaker 1: a crazy, crazy thing because you spend so much time
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  Speaker 1: fighting for your limitations, fighting to keep this story alive
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  Speaker 1: about what happened to you. Some of you are holding
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  Speaker 1: on to stories and situations and roles that you cannot play,
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  Speaker 1: you should not play, and you have not played in years,
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  Speaker 1: and that leads you to negative emotional health. Emotionally, you
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  Speaker 1: are weak, you are strained, you are damaged. Because the
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  Speaker 1: more you hold onto that story, the more you retell
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  Speaker 1: that story, the more you share all the heartache, all
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  Speaker 1: the pain, all the hurt, and listen, there are things
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  Speaker 1: in fact that have happened to you, that have happened
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  Speaker 1: to those that you love that in fact was not
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  Speaker 1: done with good intentions and have hurt you and have
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  Speaker 1: put you in a space where it's it's difficult for
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  Speaker 1: you to move forward. And there is a season. There
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  Speaker 1: is a scripture in the Bible that talks about Ecclesiastics.
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  Speaker 1: There is a season for everything. So yes, there is
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  Speaker 1: a season to mourn that relationship and more in that friendship,
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  Speaker 1: and more in the life you thought you were going
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  Speaker 1: to live at this certain time in your life. But
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  Speaker 1: there's also a season to rise. There's also a season
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  Speaker 1: to improve. There's also a season to learn. And so
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  Speaker 1: I'm not taken away from what happened to you. What
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  Speaker 1: I'm taking away from you is living and choosing to
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  Speaker 1: identify with the story, with the victim, and not with
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  Speaker 1: the fact that you can be victorious outside of all that.
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  Speaker 1: So now you've held onto this and you have all
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  Speaker 1: these feelings of anger and resentment and sadness. And the
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  Speaker 1: crazy thing is, once you identify as a victim, those emotions,
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  Speaker 1: those feelings, they flood in and they take away your
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  Speaker 1: ability to have the empowering thoughts. I say it all
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  Speaker 1: the time on this podcast. Your thoughts become things. What
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  Speaker 1: you think about now is literally shaping your tomorrow. And
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  Speaker 1: that's why it's so important to manage your thoughts. It's
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  Speaker 1: so important to spend time in your thoughts. And we
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  Speaker 1: don't do that. We first have not been trained to
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  Speaker 1: do that. We haven't been taught to do that. As
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  Speaker 1: a matter of fact, everybody tells you just move on,
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  Speaker 1: get over it. Well, if you're getting over it, you
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  Speaker 1: don't have time to think about it, you don't have
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  Speaker 1: time to meditate, not just on the issue, but how
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  Speaker 1: you move past it. And so we just get over it.
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  Speaker 1: We move on. And when you move on, sometimes you
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  Speaker 1: have learned nothing. The only thing you have now is
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  Speaker 1: your story, the story that has shackled you to that victimhood,
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  Speaker 1: that location that people can find you. They know you're
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  Speaker 1: gonna talk about this thing. They know you're gonna walk
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  Speaker 1: through this thing with them. They know it's going to be,
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  Speaker 1: and it is for some of you, an identity. You
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  Speaker 1: have now identified yourself as a victim, and those around
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  Speaker 1: you know it. You may have even noticed some people
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  Speaker 1: can't even be around you because they can't hear you
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  Speaker 1: hurt yourself in such a way because essentially, when you
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  Speaker 1: victimize yourself, or you choose to adapt the personality and
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  Speaker 1: the language that comes with that. It makes it hard
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  Speaker 1: for people to watch you hurt yourself, to stagnate yourself,
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  Speaker 1: to shackle yourself to an identity, to a purpose that's
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  Speaker 1: not you. And now you might be in a space
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  Speaker 1: where your overall happiness is reduced to almost nothing. Your
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  Speaker 1: life satisfaction, you can't even find it. If you had
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  Speaker 1: a flashlight and a whole army of people to help
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  Speaker 1: you find it, you couldn't find it because you're stuck
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  Speaker 1: on the story. You're stuck on what happened. You're stuck
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  Speaker 1: on the wrong. You're stuck on the people that did
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  Speaker 1: you the wrong. Might I say to you, Might I
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  Speaker 1: encourage you to move on? I know you know the story.
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  Speaker 1: I know you know what happened to you. I know
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  Speaker 1: you can identify in a lineup with your eyes closed fallen,
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  Speaker 1: haven't already fallen asleep? Who did it, when they did it,
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  Speaker 1: how they did it. I know you can tell that
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  Speaker 1: story over and over again, to the point where a
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  Speaker 1: Hollywood producer will pick it up and set it up
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  Speaker 1: on Netflix. I know you could do that, But what
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  Speaker 1: does that do for you? What is that doing for
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  Speaker 1: you is straining your relationships. It's hard for you to
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  Speaker 1: maintain relationships, build relationship pips. It makes it difficult for
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  Speaker 1: you to problem solve. When you have a victimhood mentality,
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  Speaker 1: your mental capability, your ability to develop problem solving skills
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  Speaker 1: becomes null because you're not allowing yourself to be creative,
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  Speaker 1: because essentially, your victimhood is stagnating your ability to be creative,
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  Speaker 1: to be innovative, to find solutions, to overcome without help,
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  Speaker 1: to do things independently, to rely less on others, especially
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  Speaker 1: in the face of adversity. Yes, there is a season
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  Speaker 1: where you're going to need people, you're going to walk
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  Speaker 1: the thing out with the people. But there is a season,
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  Speaker 1: especially a season when you've gone through the thing and
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  Speaker 1: you know the thing that only you, only you because
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  Speaker 1: of your experience, because of your proximity to the story.
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  Speaker 1: Can you walk this out? Can you face this adversity
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  Speaker 1: and push past it? You don't need anything externally. You
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  Speaker 1: were born to be great, but you're choosing to be
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  Speaker 1: a victim. You know what's said about being a victim
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  Speaker 1: or adopting the personality of a victim, is that it
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  Speaker 1: is a gateway for you to indulge in your vices,
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  Speaker 1: those bad behaviors, those things that you set apart, that
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  Speaker 1: you set aside, that you decided was not going to
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  Speaker 1: be what you do, and you healed from that thing,
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  Speaker 1: choosing to be in an ecosystem where you're victimized, where
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  Speaker 1: you're called a victim because it is a choice, and
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  Speaker 1: it brings you back to a place where you once
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  Speaker 1: felt empowered, and unfortunately that is where your vices live.
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  Speaker 1: And so now you find yourself negatively coping with your life,
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  Speaker 1: going back to your old ways, your old eating habits,
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  Speaker 1: over eating, abusing all the different things out there that
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  Speaker 1: you can abuse. And now you've created a cycle because
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  Speaker 1: you went back to a place where you were hurt
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  Speaker 1: to try and heal yourself. That's not gonna work. I
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  Speaker 1: know it's not gonna work, because you know it's not
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  Speaker 1: gonna work because you've tried it and you're still here.
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  Speaker 1: It's time to choose a different identity to overcome the
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  Speaker 1: victimhood mentality. And so you need to be in a
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  Speaker 1: space where you can self reflect. It's so easy to
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  Speaker 1: point fingers at other people, it's so easy to look
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  Speaker 1: outside ourselves. That's the easy part the work. The intentionality
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  Speaker 1: to be self reflective is what most choose not to do.
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  Speaker 1: It is a road less traveled. So the first thing
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  Speaker 1: I'm going to say is to develop a space in
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  Speaker 1: your mental, in your physical, in your emotional sets where
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  Speaker 1: you can be self aware. You can reflect on your
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  Speaker 1: role in the situation. Again, it's easy to look at
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  Speaker 1: what other people did, how they played a role in
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  Speaker 1: the story. What role did you play, What roles didn't
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  Speaker 1: you play. That's important. That's going to be a key
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  Speaker 1: area because it's not often what we did do, it's
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  Speaker 1: what we didn't do. The other thing is we need
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  Speaker 1: to set not just set goals, set yourself up to succeed,
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  Speaker 1: set yourself up to achieve. You are in control of
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  Speaker 1: your life, contrary to what you're probably thinking, contrary to
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  Speaker 1: how you've thought about it. The decisions you make tonight,
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  Speaker 1: the ones you will make tomorrow when you wake up
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  Speaker 1: in the morning, and everything in between, those are part
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  Speaker 1: of your control. Your decisions are your power. I repeat,
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  Speaker 1: your decisioning is your power. You don't need to be
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  Speaker 1: appointed by anyone. You are already the queen of your kingdom,
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  Speaker 1: of your queendom. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.
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  Speaker 1: A couple months back, I did a rewind on an
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  Speaker 1: episode called killing ants automatic negative thoughts, because we have
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  Speaker 1: over eighty thousand thoughts in a day and eighty percent
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  Speaker 1: of those thoughts are negative. And if you don't believe me,
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  Speaker 1: I want you to take a ten minute moment out
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  Speaker 1: of your day, out of the next moment you have,
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  Speaker 1: and just write down what comes to mind, and you
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  Speaker 1: will shock yourself. Then, if you are not intentional, your
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  Speaker 1: initial thoughts, your repetitive thoughts will be negative. So I
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  Speaker 1: want you to cultivate space in your life as we
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  Speaker 1: think through how to overcome this victimhood mentality. You got
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  Speaker 1: to cultivate space in your life to grow good things.
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  Speaker 1: And when I think about good things, I think about gratitude.
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  Speaker 1: And gratitude is just looking around in your life as
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  Speaker 1: you are where you are and looking at all the
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  Speaker 1: things that you are grateful for the fact that you
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  Speaker 1: have life, the fact that you have mental and physical faculties,
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  Speaker 1: Like you can listen and you can hear the words
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  Speaker 1: that are coming out of my mouth. You're moving, you're walking,
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  Speaker 1: you're doing all these things you're providing for your family.
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  Speaker 1: You still have a job. Contrary to popular opinion, you
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  Speaker 1: are making it in an economy everybody said would be
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  Speaker 1: the worst thing ever. Gratitude it shifts your focus from
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  Speaker 1: victimhood to empowerment. Yeah. When you spend less time thinking
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  Speaker 1: about your victimhood and the story and you spend more
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  Speaker 1: time looking at your blessings, counting your blessings and choosing gratitude,
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  Speaker 1: you change the whole picture. You re ignite the focus,
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  Speaker 1: and you create a new identity. The last thing I
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: will say about moving past victimhood mentality is to seek help.
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  Speaker 1: I'm a big believer that prayer is a pillar that
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  Speaker 1: we must be participants in, which means we're reading the word,
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: which means we're feeding our soul and our spirit. I
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  Speaker 1: also believe that there are people anointed and appointed to
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  Speaker 1: be therapists, to counsel to help address deep seated issues
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  Speaker 1: that again, we were taught at some point in our
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  Speaker 1: lives as children, as parents, as leaders, just get over it,
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  Speaker 1: go on to the next thing. It'll be the best thing.
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  Speaker 1: And we did not address the thing, the issue, the people,
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  Speaker 1: the situation. We avoided, and that became a put that
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  Speaker 1: became a downfall and a step into that victimhood a
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  Speaker 1: mentality that if you are not careful and if you
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  Speaker 1: are not actively working to shift it, you will find
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  Speaker 1: yourself in downfall. But if you are intentional, if you
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  Speaker 1: are actively working to shift it, you're going to create
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  Speaker 1: empowered spaces. You are going to have an accountability mindset,
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  Speaker 1: which is completely opposite of the victimhood mindset. You will
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  Speaker 1: improve your emotional, your social, your mental, your spiritual wellbeing,
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  Speaker 1: your relationships, and overall, you're going to have satisfaction with
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  Speaker 1: your life in a way that you never had before.
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  Speaker 1: And so today I'm inviting you discard the identity of
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  Speaker 1: victimhood and choose to empower your well being with an
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  Speaker 1: accountability mindset. I hope you enjoyed this week's episode of
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: the Urine Ritsub podcast. And the only way I'm gonna
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: know this is if you leave me some feedback. Feedback
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: is a gift and it is free to give, and
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: I would like to hear from you. I would like
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: to know what resonated with you regarding this week's episode.
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: Now here's how you leave feedback on the platform and
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: which you listen to this podcast, follow the stars when
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: you get there. Leave a five star rating. But in
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: all seriousness, when you get there, you can share your
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: feedback on this podcast and that helps us. And when
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: you share your feedback on this podcast, it helps others
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: find us in these podcast streets. So we would definitely
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: appreciate that you can also share this episode with your
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  Speaker 1: hit the share button and send it to the last
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  Speaker 1: three to five people that you spoke with today. Also,
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  Speaker 1: you can share this on your socials. You can find
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  Speaker 1: me primarily on Instagram because that's my jam, that's where
• 22:11
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  Speaker 1: that's m y E N R C h E D
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  Speaker 1: s E l F. And you can hashtag this episode.
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  Speaker 1: so you can showcase your friends and families and those
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  Speaker 1: in the social streets what you're listening to and what's
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: feeding you mind, body and spirit. I also want you
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: to check out the show notes. In the show notes,
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: we have the affirmation of the week, the quote of
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: the week, and there you can also find my Amazon shop.
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: The ur and Rich self shop has two items right now,
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: a journal, which is the Show Up Everyday Journal as
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: well as the Show Up Everyday Notebook, so check those
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: out in my Amazon shops. And finally, take what you
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: can from this episode and do what you want in
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: the next one hundred and sixty eight hours so that
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: you can become more of your enriched self until we
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: meet again.