Latest / The Kink Consultant / The Only Dating App That Understands Kink with Pieter of BeeDee App
Transcript
- 0:08It's the King Consultant podcast where we're turning up the heat
- 0:11on all things kink and dating, relationships and pop culture.
- 0:14So close the door, plug in your headphones, and let's get down
- 0:17to it. Hey everyone, and welcome to
- 0:25this week's episode of the King Consultant Podcast.
- 0:27I am joined by Peter of BD App and it's BD Apps, second time on
- 0:31the podcast. So welcome back, Peter.
- 0:33Thank you, Amanda. A lot has happened since, so I'm
- 0:36very happy to be back. Yeah, so for anyone who hasn't
- 0:39been following the podcast from the beginning, BD app is a
- 0:43specialty dating app for people who are into BDSM.
- 0:47And I think it's safe to say that you guys are probably the
- 0:50most popular BDSM dating app, right?
- 0:53Definitely the only dating app based on the BDSM test in
- 0:56collaboration with and virtually everyone has taken the test and
- 1:00we use the test results to connect you to compatible
- 1:03people. Skipping all the small talk and
- 1:06the experience. I've had myself on other kinky
- 1:08dating apps where everyone there is just kinky and that's the
- 1:11whole filter. So I've had the experience
- 1:13myself that I go on kinky dating apps and I need to swipe away
- 1:17half the profiles because they're of dominance and I'm
- 1:19more dominant myself. So that's likely not going to be
- 1:22a good fit. And that whole idea and that
- 1:25whole experience that started this journey behind the BD app,
- 1:29because if everyone takes the BDSM test, we already know who's
- 1:32dominant, who's submissive, who's into X&Y, and we can pair
- 1:35them up because hey, you're into similar things, maybe you should
- 1:38have a chat. Hey, you're into incompatible
- 1:40things. Maybe you should look at
- 1:42different profiles. That is something that I've
- 1:44experienced because obviously since you guys launched and
- 1:46you're now fully on the Apple Store, which is I think a really
- 1:49important note that we're going to get into, but I want everyone
- 1:52to know they can get it anywhere.
- 1:53I've been using the app and I actually a few months ago, I did
- 1:57meet someone on the app. We dated for a few months and we
- 2:00had a high match percentage and that proved true in the bedroom
- 2:03and outside of the bedroom. So I've already had a good
- 2:05experience on the app and I love it because it's just such an
- 2:09easy way to compare For anyone who's taken the test, people
- 2:12might not even realize they've taken the test before.
- 2:14You answer sometimes just 40 questions about your preferences
- 2:17and then you get the percentage match of what you most are to
- 2:21what you least are, like dominant, brat, taste
- 2:24submissive, and it gives you different percentages.
- 2:26But my favorite part is you can just answer the dominant ones.
- 2:29You can just answer the submissive ones, or you can
- 2:31answer everything and it gives you your percentage of dominance
- 2:34and submission. It's a really broad test, right?
- 2:37It's not submissive. It's also master slave.
- 2:40It's also rope Bunny and rigor. It's also vanilla versus
- 2:46experimentalists. Yeah, there's lots of things in
- 2:49there. And when we calculate how
- 2:51compatible two people are, we look every combination of those
- 2:55percentages. OK so I recently met someone not
- 2:59on the app but I did make him take the test.
- 3:02I made him download the app. We set our parameters really
- 3:04small so that we'd be guaranteed to at least see each other.
- 3:07So I had him download the test. I realized for myself in using
- 3:11it that even though I'm slightly switchy, I knew that I didn't
- 3:14want to end up with a sub. I was looking for a Dom.
- 3:17So I redid the test and I only answered the submissive
- 3:20questions so that I was being paired with more doms.
- 3:22That was my personal hack of like, OK, what am I looking for?
- 3:25This is how to get it. So when he did it, he only
- 3:27answered the dominant ones. He's not a switch.
- 3:29And we ended up being a 97% match.
- 3:32We had figured that out before, but I think it was cool for the
- 3:35VDSM test and actually when he set up his profile even there
- 3:38are a ton of different profiles in the area we're in.
- 3:41I was this first match because we were pretty high.
- 3:43So that was like my personal story of how accurate I think it
- 3:46is, but also has been for a lot of the people I've matched with.
- 3:49I know more vanilla couples where I think, oh, why don't
- 3:52both of you take the BDSM tests and see if you're compatible?
- 3:56And I see a lot of vanilla couples that they're less
- 3:59focused on their sexual life, but having a conversation of,
- 4:03oh, I never knew that you like me taking the leads, for
- 4:06example, that conversation could spice up your sex life and make
- 4:10your sex life a lot better as a couple.
- 4:12Because I feel like a lot of vanilla couples are shying away
- 4:15from the topic of sexuality and BDSM, and maybe they shouldn't.
- 4:19What's wrong with having a good discussion of it, especially if
- 4:21it could improve your life so much?
- 4:23Absolutely. So I don't know if I mentioned
- 4:25this before, but obviously I'm a sex and relationship coach.
- 4:28I specialize in kink and I get a lot of couples where one person
- 4:31is kinky and the other isn't. And something I do is I send
- 4:34them both the BDSM test, especially for the non kinky or
- 4:37the person who thinks they're not kinky.
- 4:39I send it to them to show them like hey, you might be more
- 4:42interested in some of this stuff than you think.
- 4:44So it's really cool then to get on the BD app and like I did
- 4:47with this person I met, just see, OK, how compatible are we?
- 4:50Absolutely, but you could also take it one step further.
- 4:54Give the BDSM test to people who don't have a partner yet, and if
- 4:57they have any kings that they want to explore but they don't
- 5:00know who to explore it with, BT might be the right place to go
- 5:04looking for that person. Oh, that's a really good point.
- 5:06Yeah, because I also have single clients as well.
- 5:08In my experience, they do know what they're into.
- 5:10But you're right, I think we all discover a little bit more,
- 5:12especially when we do what's called populating the menu.
- 5:15There are kinks and interests on there that I would never have
- 5:19really associated myself with. I don't really relate to being a
- 5:22slave, but then like my percentage on slave was higher
- 5:25than I expected it to be because of how it's presented in the
- 5:28app. I'm like, Oh yeah, I could be
- 5:29into this more than I think. But I do have a bone to pick
- 5:32with you. A serious 1.
- 5:33I don't think the test and the dating app is set up correctly
- 5:38to assess the bratiness of dominance.
- 5:40OK, I have a sample size of 1 to complain about.
- 5:43But I would like to bring this up.
- 5:45The person I did it with and the person I'm seeing right now is
- 5:48truly, and I'm not being facetious here, this isn't a
- 5:51hyperbole. He's a way bigger breath than me
- 5:53but because I'm submissive and he is dominant, his bratiness
- 5:57only came up at 10%. And personally I think Dom's are
- 6:00the biggest brats I know so I have a bone to pick about me
- 6:03getting like 70% brat and him getting 10%.
- 6:06I think some stuff needs to be fixed there.
- 6:09A bit very meta here. The BDSM test is not very hard
- 6:12to decipher, so if you want to get a certain result, it's quite
- 6:17easy to get to a certain result. And what is more bratier than
- 6:22even though you are a complete brat, scoring very low on Brad
- 6:25to prove a point. So I think your friends did
- 6:28that. Yeah, he probably did.
- 6:30No. I think your friends did this on
- 6:31purpose for being a Bratz. I literally would not put it
- 6:35past this guy but again, flaw on the test.
- 6:38I need you to be able to pull out the brattiest of brats and
- 6:41be like put them on display. I just think we need to add
- 6:44another filter to the brat question.
- 6:46He definitely did it on purpose though.
- 6:48I think we need to find a way for people to enter the BDSM
- 6:51test and punish them for giving a wrong answer.
- 6:53All right, now you're on to something.
- 6:55I'm down with this because I do think, yeah, we still came out
- 6:59as a 97% match, and maybe we would have been a lower match if
- 7:02I found out what a big brat he was through the percentage.
- 7:05But yeah, that's my one complaint is that I think Dons
- 7:08are the biggest brats. And you say it's easy to
- 7:10decipher. But like, another thing I've
- 7:12noticed is sometimes some questions that I don't think
- 7:15mattered as much. And we talked about them in the
- 7:17first episode. And this one still boggles my
- 7:19mind. I think it's something like how
- 7:21likely we are, How interested would you be in turning your
- 7:24back on the world and going into this full time time?
- 7:27Do you know that question that one scares people to feel like
- 7:30who would do this? And I'm like me?
- 7:32I guess what would does that indicate is that?
- 7:34Slit on top of my head, but I would guess that indicates
- 7:38experimentalists. I know that in the past the BDSM
- 7:41test had a lot more questions and iterated over the set of
- 7:44questions multiple times to figure out which question was
- 7:48the strongest indicator for each of the groups, and that must
- 7:51have been a question that strongly indicated one of the
- 7:54groups. My guess would be
- 7:55experimentalist, but I'm not him I'm sure.
- 7:57OK. That question always throws
- 7:59people a little bit because it's like who would do this?
- 8:01It's like a lot of people. And then something that is less
- 8:05applicable to me. But I do enjoy that you have in
- 8:08there is percentage of monogamy versus non monogamy.
- 8:11And I think that's really helpful because there's a high
- 8:14overlap of kinky people who are non monogamous.
- 8:17I do not count as one of those people, but I like seeing that I
- 8:20am able to disqualify people or have a lower percentage match
- 8:23with them. And oftentimes if I see a
- 8:25dominant on there that I'm not is highly matched with, I
- 8:28already know I'm like, they're into non monogamy and that's
- 8:31just not me. So I love that's pointed out
- 8:33too. That's part of the reason why we
- 8:35have multiple relationship forms that you could be open to or not
- 8:39open to to single. Hey I'm only looking for a
- 8:42monogamous relationship or I'm polyamorous and I already have a
- 8:46relationship so I'm only looking for play partners or friends
- 8:48with benefits. So at a glance you can see, oh,
- 8:52these people are only looking for something non monogamous and
- 8:55I'm only looking for something monogamous.
- 8:57I'm going to skip this profile. Or maybe you say, oh, I have a
- 9:01very high match percentage. Let's chat and let's see if it's
- 9:04really such a nonstarter for the two of us.
- 9:08I've seen a lot of couples where one of the two people didn't
- 9:11match one of the criteria of the other people.
- 9:14But once I started chatting, I was like, yeah, but I like the
- 9:16guy so much on all the other criteria.
- 9:18I just really like the guy. Let's go for it.
- 9:20So I would like to say to everyone in the dating scene, be
- 9:23a bit more open and give people the chance to have a chat with
- 9:27you. Literally just have a 5 minute
- 9:29conversation over chat and see how you vibe.
- 9:32I think we should lower the bar for having a match and having 10
- 9:36messages back and forth, and then again put the bar high for
- 9:40any committed relationships. Absolutely, but pretty really
- 9:43low for just exchanging 5 messages.
- 9:45Oh, I agree with that completely.
- 9:46Like you need to be open to things.
- 9:48And I mean, that's how I ended up with the friends with
- 9:50benefits. He scored quite high on non
- 9:52monogamy and I was lower on it obviously.
- 9:55And I say friends with benefits, which is an unfair title because
- 9:58we were exclusive friends with benefits and that was something
- 10:01we negotiated. I was like, listen, I don't want
- 10:03this with other people. Interesting point though.
- 10:05It's also worth having conversations like that because
- 10:07in my world, in the world of kink, a lot of us might be play
- 10:11Polly, meaning we'll play with other people, but sexually
- 10:14monogamous. So it's like even worth just
- 10:16digging in and saying like, hey, I noticed this on your profile.
- 10:19What's your interest there? Hey Kingsters, if you and your
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- 10:42We're talking communication, foundations, power exchange
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- 10:51This isn't A1 size fits all program, so we're only accepting
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- 10:59If you want first access and a chance to claim one of the
- 11:01limited spots, join the wait list now.
- 11:04Head to amandadames.com/beta Wait List or click the link in
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- 11:12build the dynamic you've been dreaming about.
- 11:15That's something I really love about the King Cambias and
- 11:17community. To draw from my own experience,
- 11:20like over 10 years ago, I had a really good date with someone.
- 11:24We ended up kissing, and then I didn't know what our status was
- 11:27for multiple days until she confirmed that she regarded us
- 11:30as being in a relationship just from having had that kiss, which
- 11:34is fair. And I wanted to be in a
- 11:35relationship with her at that time.
- 11:36So I was really happy with knowing that that, but it's
- 11:39really awkward. And I really like about the BDSM
- 11:42community that it's just so open and having a conversation.
- 11:46What exactly are we? Are you open to X?
- 11:48Are you open to Y? Can I do X with other people?
- 11:51Can I do Y with other people? And I think it's really
- 11:53important for every couple to have that conversation.
- 11:56And if two people decide, oh, we're gonna be completely
- 11:59monogamous in the old fashioned way, absolutely.
- 12:02But why not have that conversation and find the
- 12:04relationship form that both of you are really happy with?
- 12:07I know I agree completely. I talk about this day in, day
- 12:10out and it's just the level of communication that you need to
- 12:13have. It's a really good template for
- 12:15how to have other conversations around relationship and that's
- 12:17what's special. Do you know it's been a year?
- 12:19That's like it was a year ago. Yeah.
- 12:22I don't know if you know this, but I have BD app to thank for
- 12:26my podcast. I took the BDSM test years ago
- 12:29and I just happened to get an e-mail saying we have a dating
- 12:32app, it's coming out and they were looking for volunteers and
- 12:34I emailed and I was like, OK, I want to help.
- 12:37Admittedly, I got busy then start starting a business being
- 12:39the King consultant is a little busy.
- 12:41So someone booked a console call with me and said we want you to
- 12:44help us promote BDF and we're launching And I just thought, Oh
- 12:47my God, that's amazing. We spoke to the creator of the
- 12:51test and no one had ever spoken to him.
- 12:53What a scoop. And I have this opportunity.
- 12:55So whoever I was talking to on your marketing team, I was like,
- 12:58you know what, I'm starting a podcast.
- 13:00You guys should be the first guests on the podcast.
- 13:03Up until this point, Peter, there was number podcast.
- 13:05There was number idea of me starting a podcast.
- 13:07This opportune moment of I was like, I need to get this
- 13:10interview. I want to be the person who gets
- 13:12the scoop. Let me start a podcast.
- 13:13So thank you to BDF for some amazing fun experiences.
- 13:17And then also this podcast existing in the 1st place isn't
- 13:20that crazy. It's absolutely wonderful.
- 13:23I love that story and it just reminds me of how I started with
- 13:26PD2. Like I found myself freshly
- 13:29made, redundant, freshly single. I had been wanting to start my
- 13:32own project and a company and a startup for over 10 years.
- 13:36And suddenly I had a chat with creator of the BDSM test saying,
- 13:40oh, I have a lot more people than I ever expected to take the
- 13:44BDSM test. But the value I bring them is I
- 13:46bring them value for 5 minutes, they take the test and then I
- 13:49don't see them again for probably years afterwards.
- 13:52What can I build to give more value to them?
- 13:55When we started chatting and before wrong, we had the idea of
- 13:59building a dating app where everyone takes the BDSM test and
- 14:02we use the BDSM test to find people, the best profiles first.
- 14:06And yeah, it's been 3 1/2 years or just 2022.
- 14:10OK. So yeah, nearly four years.
- 14:12So yeah, it's, it's been nearly four years and I spent on this
- 14:15project and it's amazing. I never dreamt of actually
- 14:18getting my own company, launching it, getting a team
- 14:20around it, but only because I was able to build something that
- 14:24didn't exist yet and I was able to bring value to people.
- 14:27That's why it took me 10 years to launch my own project.
- 14:30I didn't want to build a copy of something that's already existed
- 14:32and tell people mine is better when it isn't.
- 14:35I wanted to build something new and bring value, and people
- 14:37weren't able to connect to other people through the BDSM test
- 14:40yet, and that's what we've brought to people.
- 14:42And yeah, you can see like you found the friends with benefits
- 14:45through BD. We recently had our first
- 14:47engagements announced from people who know each other
- 14:49through BD. I can't wait for the 1st BD baby
- 14:52to be born. But no, it's gonna happen sooner
- 14:54or later. It warms my heart to hear that
- 14:56there is a couple who are now engaged who met here because we
- 15:00know the struggle of meeting someone who's into kink like fat
- 15:04life wasn't created to be a dating app.
- 15:05They openly talk about how they're not a dating app and
- 15:08people want to connect, they want to meet like minded
- 15:11partners and now BDA exists for that and people are meeting each
- 15:14other and that's just one engagement.
- 15:16I'm sure more people that you know about is my point.
- 15:18That's one you know about, but I'm sure there are more.
- 15:21And Fat Life is trying to be the Facebook for the BDSM community,
- 15:24which I think they're doing amazing at, but you can't be the
- 15:27Facebook and the Tinder at the same time.
- 15:29So absolutely right that they're saying we want to do 1 and not
- 15:32the other. We're seeing the same.
- 15:33We BD is not trying to be the Facebook for the BDSM community.
- 15:37We're trying to be the Tinder for the BDSM community.
- 15:39I really hope that we're doing a better job at connecting the
- 15:42right people than Fat Life is. I've been there myself,
- 15:45scrolling through local fat Life profiles, and it just gives you
- 15:48a list and you need to go through the whole list to find
- 15:50people with the right sexual orientation, with the right
- 15:54gender. And then half of them are
- 15:55dominant. It takes you ages to find people
- 15:58who are suitable, who are compatible to you, and then you
- 16:01need to reach out. And then 90% of the time they're
- 16:03not interested, so they're never replying to your DMS Fair game.
- 16:07If they're not interested, they would be wasting each other's
- 16:09time. But on BD it's just so more
- 16:11efficient. I immediately see the right
- 16:13profiles. I can send them alike.
- 16:15I don't need to write up a whole introduction of myself because
- 16:18I'll see if they like my profile back, and once they do, then
- 16:20I'll introduce myself. So yeah, I really hope that on
- 16:24BD it's a lot easier to find each other than it is on
- 16:26Fetlife. Oh, it definitely is.
- 16:27And I've met people into kinks that I would never have really
- 16:31explored before without this, like hypno kink, right?
- 16:34Someone who's like, oh, I really specialize in this.
- 16:36And I think it's so interesting because I'm getting exposed to
- 16:39people who match me at a high enough percentage, and then they
- 16:41might have a separate interest. I think I mentioned this on
- 16:43every episode. I have a discipline and
- 16:46punishment fetish, right? I'm kinky overall, though, so
- 16:48that's just my favorite. It gives me a chance to meet
- 16:51people who I probably wouldn't cross paths with otherwise.
- 16:55It's on the limitation of BD and therefore the BDSM test is that
- 16:59we are currently testing across I think 19 different
- 17:02stereotypes. But we don't have every single
- 17:04kink in existence in that list. We don't have hypno kink.
- 17:07We don't have feet kink. The reason behind that is that
- 17:10if we were to test for all of that or just ask yes, no, are
- 17:14you into it? It would need to be a list of
- 17:16hundreds of questions and for us to do the matching up correctly,
- 17:20everyone would need to answer hundreds of questions and that's
- 17:23just not scalable and not feasible.
- 17:25The BDSM test is already one of the longest things you need to
- 17:28do on the dating app to create an account.
- 17:30We already know that's one of our weaknesses, but therefore we
- 17:33can't open up the BDSM tests to, with all due respect, more niche
- 17:38kings. But I think the BDSM test with
- 17:40its flaws is a great conversation starter.
- 17:43And then you can go from there and say, Oh yeah, I'm a switch
- 17:46and I have a big hypno kink. But on that hypno kink, I'm only
- 17:49on the receiving end or something.
- 17:51So that's can be a great starting point.
- 17:53And any other specific kings that are really important to
- 17:55you, you can have a conversation about that.
- 17:57You can add it in your bio or you can start a conversation
- 18:00about that with your match. Yeah.
- 18:02And I think it is a strength because it's just exploratory.
- 18:05Like you said, we need to be more open minded, keep the bar
- 18:07low for who you have a conversation with.
- 18:09So that allows that to happen. And here's the other thing that
- 18:12I really enjoy, and I hope you guys are keeping this.
- 18:14You have to scroll to the bottom of the profile to reject or
- 18:17accept. And what that does is it forces
- 18:19people to just go a little bit deeper on someone.
- 18:22I've been on Tinder and just swipe left on someone who
- 18:25honestly, after I swipe left, I'm like, oh shit, they were
- 18:27kind of cute. I wish I could go back and had I
- 18:30just taken more than a second to scroll a little bit, I think I
- 18:33would have swiped right. So it refrains how we play the
- 18:36dating game. Absolutely.
- 18:37That's the reason behind this feature because when you first
- 18:41see a profile, you see name, age compatibility percentage and a
- 18:45picture. And I think to reject someone
- 18:48just based on that is a bit quick.
- 18:50So we've made people to at least take the action to Scroll down
- 18:53past their BIOS, past their test results.
- 18:56And maybe every once in a while you'll see oh, but if they score
- 18:59high on this and that or if they mention this in their bio, maybe
- 19:02I should give them a chance. If one in 100 profiles gets that
- 19:06extra chance, then that's worth it.
- 19:08And if you're really put off by the main picture, it takes half
- 19:11a second to Scroll down and tap no, I don't think that half a
- 19:14second matches that much. But it also disincentivize
- 19:18mostly straight men on Tinder opening Tinder saying yes, yes,
- 19:22yes, yes, yes. Then you get a match with
- 19:24someone and they're not starting the conversation.
- 19:27They don't have anything interesting on their profile.
- 19:29And that's also something we want to disincentivize by
- 19:32telling those people, if you're a non paid account, you only get
- 19:3510 likes free per day. So pick them out.
- 19:38And by having to scroll through the profile, it makes it harder
- 19:41to just say yes, yes, yes, yes on every profile and not look at
- 19:44it. It makes you invested like, Oh
- 19:45yeah, this is a profile I'm invested in.
- 19:48If I'm going to match with this person, I'm going to talk to
- 19:50them. I'm going to say something to
- 19:52them. That's also something that we
- 19:53hope to accomplish with that feature.
- 19:55Hey, I have a secret I'm finally ready to talk about.
- 19:59I've never really been a vibes girl.
- 20:02I know. Shocking coming from the King
- 20:03consultant. But that's changing.
- 20:06I'm teaming up with my friends at Babe Land for an 8 week self
- 20:09pleasure journey. Every Friday I'm trying a new
- 20:12toy and sharing what I learned about my body, my pleasure, and
- 20:15what actually feels good. If you want to follow along,
- 20:17check out my Friday Vibe series on Instagram and Substack.
- 20:21And while you're here, check the show notes for my most recent
- 20:23review. Keep on kinking on.
- 20:26Yeah, it 100% sets you up for deeper connections.
- 20:29OK, so last time we spoke, the other thing that came up was you
- 20:33guys were only on Google Play Store, which was a big deal
- 20:36because a lot of my followers loved the episode, but they were
- 20:39like, how do I get on it? It was slightly clunky because
- 20:42you weren't in the Apple Store, but you are now.
- 20:44Tell me about how you ended up in the App Store.
- 20:47Yes, I'm a little bit invested in this story.
- 20:49So last time we were featured on here, you had a chat with Brad
- 20:52from Meet Kingsters, who had a dating app to bring kinky people
- 20:56to together. Because of us both appearing on
- 20:58the same podcast, we had a chat like, hey, we're doing something
- 21:02very similar. Maybe we should join forces,
- 21:05which we ended up doing. We joined forces with Meet
- 21:08Kingsters. And through that, the BD app is
- 21:11now available on the Apple App Store, all because of this
- 21:14podcast. So thank you so much, Amanda.
- 21:17All right, love it, but also love it because it meant that
- 21:20more people have access to VD and I'm happy that I was able to
- 21:23be part of that. And obviously love Brad from me
- 21:26Kingsters too. It's just amazing to bring
- 21:28people together and make better things happen in the kink world.
- 21:32I mean, we're that engaged couple.
- 21:33I wonder if they met on the Apple App or the Google One
- 21:36question for another time, though.
- 21:38OK, that's awesome. They did want to talk about
- 21:40fields, but you kind of touched on it already.
- 21:42Did I tell you they didn't made a horrible mistake?
- 21:44No what? They launched A Desires feature
- 21:46where you can enter what you desire.
- 21:48One of the desires was being submissive or being dominant,
- 21:51and then once I entered that, I was being shown dominant
- 21:55profiles because we have something in common, namely,
- 21:58both of you wants to be dominant.
- 22:00Can you make that mistake that two people being dominant is
- 22:03something you have in common? That's not understanding your
- 22:06community. No, I think it was a tick the
- 22:08box exercise for them. Have they fixed that?
- 22:11I don't know, I'm not on field. OK, good to know they at least
- 22:14figured it out. But you're right, I find field
- 22:16if you are looking for an alternative more open thing,
- 22:20sure, but the kink is just not there and that's why I'm not on
- 22:23it anymore. It's always been really
- 22:24important for me to meet someone kinky.
- 22:26That's why I love BDF. That's why I love niching down
- 22:29this much because I'm like OK, if everyone I date is kinky then
- 22:32at least I can find someone who matches me best on a personality
- 22:35level too. That's the difficulty, right?
- 22:38Do you have any advice for people who are trying to date
- 22:40kinky? Obviously yes, download the app
- 22:43and use BD. But what other tips do you love
- 22:45to give people on how to meet someone that's.
- 22:47A great question. And by the way, I mean how to
- 22:49have a successful relationship, What kind of questions ask, say,
- 22:52two people match on BDF. What's your advice?
- 22:54What's the best way to go about that as a dating app?
- 22:57So whenever I match someone, my focus is what do we have in
- 23:01common? Do I enjoy that this person also
- 23:04enjoys not on what is missing. If you have 5 kings and this
- 23:08person matches four, I would focus on, oh, we have 4 things
- 23:11in common. There's four things I can enjoy
- 23:13in my relationship with this person instead of focusing on,
- 23:15Oh yeah, there's one thing I would miss if I settle down for
- 23:18this person because we're all idealist.
- 23:21We all think of dreaming. We all dream of marrying a
- 23:23Disney Prince or a Disney Princess, but no one of us is
- 23:27going to find that person. So try to focus on the things
- 23:30that you do have in common. Yeah, the truth is, being
- 23:32realistic is your best bet at being happy.
- 23:34This is something we talked about last time.
- 23:36In a previous life, I worked in e-mail marketing.
- 23:39I was really big into data around marketing.
- 23:42One of the projects I worked on was the end of your e-mail recap
- 23:45of who watched the most Peacock shows or what type of shows
- 23:48everyone was watching and sending that out.
- 23:49Do you have fun stats like that? We recently made our 100,000
- 23:53match on BD and we see that there's been more than 1.2
- 23:58million messages sent on BD that is.
- 24:00Awesome, I have my own crackpot theories.
- 24:03I think I may have said this before.
- 24:04The best Dom's I've ever had used Android.
- 24:07I know that's an insane thing to say but I'm telling you the guy
- 24:10I matched with, the friends with benefits the person here.
- 24:14Everyone uses Android and I want to know if you have more
- 24:17dominant profiles on Android or on Apple.
- 24:20And I think that you should send out a recap e-mail at the end of
- 24:23the year with some of these fun BD wrapped like a Spotify
- 24:27wrapped except for BD because Pornhub does it too they say.
- 24:30What are the most common kinks in different areas?
- 24:32We're working on newsletter and that would be amazing idea to
- 24:35have statistics like that in the newsletter and send it out on a
- 24:39monthly basis or end of year recap.
- 24:41That's definitely something we're looking into.
- 24:43You strike me as someone who'd be good at pulling these
- 24:46statistics together and being able to send them out, so I'm
- 24:49hoping that this does come along because it's my favorite thing.
- 24:52I love knowing what the most commonly searched kink or porn
- 24:55is in every state. If we could do it by country or
- 24:58something. Or what country has the most
- 25:00dominance versus submissives or people have questions, Peter, We
- 25:03have questions like how many people are dominant versus
- 25:06submissive. And I think the answer is there
- 25:08are probably 3 Subs to every Dom or maybe 2 Subs to every Dom.
- 25:12I think it is your obligation to share that out once you have it.
- 25:15I think Poland and Greece were like the most kinky countries in
- 25:19Europe in terms of scoring the highest averages on the BDSM
- 25:22tests, and I think Brazil and Argentina also scored quite
- 25:26high. No way.
- 25:27OK, I need to be in a planning meeting Peter like I am in
- 25:31myself right now. I have tons of stats.
- 25:33I also want to know what star signs like what astrology sign.
- 25:37If you could just give me the birthdays and I would work it
- 25:39out for you. I will figure out what star
- 25:42signs prefer what type of king. I'm getting very passionate.
- 25:45About it because these. Are the answers I need and I
- 25:47view BD app as the group that has it.
- 25:50So now that I'm like seeing someone who's obviously a 97%
- 25:53match, now I'm interested in the statistics around it.
- 25:56I get asked this all the time. I want to know what country has
- 25:59the most dominant personalities. So hey everyone, you're hearing
- 26:01it here first. If you are going on vacation in
- 26:04Europe and you're looking for some kinky fun, you probably
- 26:06have a higher chance if you go to Poland or Greece.
- 26:08And who doesn't want to go to Greece?
- 26:09After this meeting, you're gonna book a holiday to Greece.
- 26:12I can't. I'm seeing someone, but had I
- 26:14known this last summer when I was in Greece, I probably would
- 26:16have been on the app a lot more. OK, so if I see Instagram
- 26:20pictures of you in Greece, I'm gonna assume that you're single
- 26:23and you're trying to find your next person.
- 26:25My next person. But you know what actually adds
- 26:27up here? When I was in Greece and I was
- 26:30posting photos on Instagram, I was in Italy and then Greece
- 26:33last summer. I got a ton of messages when I
- 26:35was in Greece of people saying, Oh my God, you're in my country,
- 26:38welcome. And I'm like, no one did that in
- 26:40Italy, but everyone did it in Greece.
- 26:42So I believe this. That's my real world experience
- 26:45of what you're describing. But in all seriousness, please
- 26:48bring me in on a meeting to discuss.
- 26:49This is what I did at Peacock. We literally sat down and
- 26:52decided what stats are we gonna dig into to share with people?
- 26:56And this would just need to be broad.
- 26:57So my Co founder and founder of the test is amazing and that
- 27:01kind of things. He does that for his full time
- 27:03job constantly. At one point in the past we
- 27:05actually had a spat because he was digging up this graphics and
- 27:08I was like, we have more important and more urgent stuff
- 27:11to do. Why are you pouring hours of
- 27:12your work into that? And he was like adjusted that up
- 27:14in like 7 minutes. That would be hours worth of
- 27:17work for me. How do you do that in 7 minutes?
- 27:19So yeah, we actually have someone in the house who's great
- 27:23at that kind of stuff. So we do need to drill down and
- 27:27make social media content with it and put an e-mail list
- 27:31together. Yeah, I don't know if you know,
- 27:33but I'm pretty good at what's popular on social media.
- 27:36So tag me and Coach, I want to be in that meeting.
- 27:39Sounds like a broader conversation needs to have after
- 27:42the this recording of the post. You open to having that?
- 27:45Discussion. Well, I'm gonna force my way
- 27:47into that conversation, OK? Speaking of what's popular on
- 27:50social media, I know that there are certain trends.
- 27:52I think that my own popularity grew because there's more
- 27:55mainstreaming of kink in general.
- 27:58I'm assuming you've noticed that too since you guys four years
- 28:01ago. More people are open to the idea
- 28:03of kink now. Changed that much in the past
- 28:06four years, but if I go back in time to when 50 Shades movies
- 28:12launched, I don't know what it did in the US, but in Europe
- 28:15that was a huge talking point and I was involved with the
- 28:18student community in Ghent with the name Kajira.
- 28:22We were the first student organization around PDSM to be
- 28:26recognized in Europe, and that happened in 2013 during the
- 28:29period of the movies of 50 Shades of Grey coming out.
- 28:32Well, say what you want about those movies, they don't always
- 28:36depict BDSM in a very consensual way, and there was a lot of
- 28:40miscommunication of how important consent should be in a
- 28:44good BDSM setting. And if you strive away from
- 28:47consent, you should have had lengthy discussions about that
- 28:50beforehand. In the wake of that, we really
- 28:52saw BDSM being something you could talk about to your parents
- 28:57or to your colleagues. We did see that change, at least
- 29:00in in Europe, massively just over 10 years ago.
- 29:03Yeah, so I think it brought the conversation into the
- 29:06mainstream. I mean, I was kinky before those
- 29:09books came out. I've been kinky, I say, my whole
- 29:11life. But I love what it did for
- 29:12bringing it forward. And I know that there were some
- 29:15outlier things. I just also know that I get
- 29:17really up in arms with the old guard people who blame 50 Shades
- 29:21for a lot of people getting into kink.
- 29:23But I think it only helped advance things.
- 29:25It brought the conversation forward, like you're saying.
- 29:28It brought it to light and a lot of people discovered the desire
- 29:31they already have because of 50 Shades.
- 29:33It doesn't mean that 50 Shades made them be into BDSM, it means
- 29:37that it made them discover they were already into BDSM, but they
- 29:41didn't know that of themselves yet.
- 29:43Yeah, it gave them permission to explore all of these things.
- 29:46Absolutely. OK, so Peter, what is next for
- 29:49BDF? You guys have already come so
- 29:51far in the year since we last spoke.
- 29:53What can I expect next for BDF? We will be bringing a feature
- 29:57where you can see people from the same country first.
- 30:00I know that people living in southern Texas, for example,
- 30:03have been requesting this for a while because they want to see
- 30:05people in the US before seeing people over the border in
- 30:08Mexico. We are also going to bring
- 30:10Incognito mode where paid members can swipe others and
- 30:14only being shown to the people they have already liked.
- 30:19So for people who want to be on the app but don't want a lot of
- 30:22people to see their profiles, it gives them control over who can
- 30:26see them. And the other thing that we will
- 30:28be bringing in the next few months is to travel mode where
- 30:32if you're going to Greece in a couple of months and you already
- 30:34want to start connections on BD there, I know that you're very
- 30:37interested in that you can put your location on BD in Greece
- 30:42and connect with people there already.
- 30:44I love that and I honestly am most excited.
- 30:46I know that kink is open as I am about it.
- 30:49A lot of people are still very private and shy about their kink
- 30:52lives, so that Incognito mode is going to be really helpful to
- 30:56allow more people to explore this.
- 30:57I'm most excited about that one for people because it will me to
- 31:01talk to my own clients and even followers and talk about how
- 31:04that's a great option if they are feeling shy but they still
- 31:07want to explore. They didn't want to put their
- 31:09face on it because they didn't know who would see it.
- 31:11So for those people, if they use the Incognito modes, they can
- 31:15now put their face on it because they're in control of who can
- 31:18see their profile. Love that.
- 31:20OK, that's amazing. All right, I can't wait until
- 31:22all of those features come out. And of course, this will not be
- 31:25your last time on the podcast because I want to keep this
- 31:28relationship going. I'm so happy BD is in the world
- 31:31and I think my only sadness is that it didn't come out sooner.
- 31:34Like I wish I was using BD app to date in my 20s but here we
- 31:37are. So thank you so much.
- 31:39Thanks for all the work you guys are doing at BD App.
- 31:41It's so meaningful and important, especially for the
- 31:43community. Thank you for having us on here
- 31:46again and shouting us on. It's for the community that we
- 31:49do this. So hearing through your mouth
- 31:51that we are helping the community connect with the right
- 31:55people, that's what keeps us going to build BD into an even
- 31:59better. App awesome.
- 32:00I'm so glad to hear it. So for anyone who is not already
- 32:03on BD app, I really want you to go check it out.
- 32:06It's an amazing app. I love that we have this in our
- 32:08community. And if you download the app, set
- 32:11up an account, you can get one free whip by using code kink
- 32:14consultant. So there's no reason to not at
- 32:17least go use your one whip. We didn't even talk about this.
- 32:19You can heart a profile, you can move it on.
- 32:22And then I didn't even explain it.
- 32:23A whip is a super like what happens when you super like it?
- 32:27Say I use my whip. Does the other person know I
- 32:29used it on them? Yes, if you use your whip on me,
- 32:32then I will get notification. Hey, Amanda is super interested
- 32:35in you. Go do BD to check out her
- 32:37profile. And whenever I go to BD, you'll
- 32:39be the first profile I see. And you can also optionally add
- 32:43a message in it and I will see the message.
- 32:45So if you say, oh, Peter, I know that we're physically far away,
- 32:49but I really like your beard, then we should connect.
- 32:52And then you can type that message and I'll immediately
- 32:54know that despite you being far away, you're very interested in
- 32:58me and my beards. OK, so there you go.
- 33:00So download the app, go to that whips page and use Code King
- 33:03consultant to get your free whip so that you can tell someone how
- 33:06much you love their beard even if they are 3000 miles away.
- 33:11I'll love it. Thanks so much Peter.
- 33:13And honestly in the comments, I would love to hear from you if
- 33:16you've used BD app, if you've met someone on it, I want to
- 33:19hear more. I highly encourage everyone to
- 33:21go check it out. If you enjoyed this episode,
- 33:24don't forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with
- 33:27anyone who might find it interesting.
- 33:29And if you have any questions or topics you'd like me to cover in
- 33:31future episodes, feel free to reach out. e-mail
- 33:34info@thekingconsultant.com. Until next time, keep on kinking
- 33:39on.