Latest / Two Tools, No Clue / M9 Alien Worms & The Queer Queen of the Soil
Transcript
- Jeidan and Anna: welcome to the Two Tools No Clue podcast. I'm Anna. And I'm Jeidan today, have no clue about alien worms. And we're going to do a special feature for Pride. Happy Pride! Woohoo! Starring a queer queen of soil, Lady Eve. Balfour. I don't know if I'm saying it right, but I'm excited to talk about the topics a queer queen. Yes. But first, what's going on around the homestead? Let's see. We finally put doors on the homestead shed. It's getting there. It was a hassle. It was a hassle. I am not good at putting doors on sheds apparently, but it is what it is. They're on there. It's on there. I'm excited. There's two different sections. There's bigger doors above and smaller doors below and you can't open them at the same time without them coming together at a bad in a bad way. So, but you know, it is what it is. People just have to open one section at a time. Sorry folks. It's almost complete. Yeah. I'm excited. And yeah, we finally, we went and got all the little doorknobs and I'm going to Put those on tomorrow because my day off and yeah, it'll look legit. Excited. It'll be able to be latched closed so it's not swaying in the wind because right now she's swaying. She's swaying. And then we also just kind of wanted to introduce ourselves because it's Pride Month and even though it's kind of the end of Pride Month, we couldn't go without having a Pride episode because we are part of the queer community. Yes, indeed. Yes. And we to be like representation for other homesteaders ⁓ who want to homestead who part of that community as well. We're out here. Yeah. We're thriving. ⁓ is very important to ⁓ able to be seen heard, especially in the current state. But honestly, always. being a part of the community in various different ways throughout my years has opened my eyes to, I think, discrimination that people don't have to face. And ⁓ still a privilege, I think, to be able to be a part of my community, and especially definitely a privilege to be able to be safe and seen and heard ⁓ and loved. I my beautiful wife, especially. so I don't think I've talked about this before, but on the podcast anyway, everybody else in my life knows I am a trans man. I'm very proud of it. obviously before that, I, I ⁓ always that ⁓ I women. I always knew that. ⁓ so they're hard not to love. Yeah. Y'all are beautiful. powerful, smart, you know, the greater. ⁓ Anyway, ⁓ so yeah, I, I knew that I was always very confused as a kid. ⁓ always would rather be in boys clothes. I always fought my mom on, on the clothes, you know, I would try to wear girls clothes. I hated it. It was the way it looked, hated the way it felt, hated it, hated the way I. I looked honestly for a lot of my life, but my parents were pretty supportive. It's funny because I was born in Scotland. My parents are very Scottish. ⁓ of Scotland is very Roman Catholic. And ⁓ it being a country where students go to a ⁓ Catholic school for their main schooling, They're very open minded about the gay community. I mean, you know, they had questions and they obviously had fears because they love me and they don't want they didn't want me to go through discrimination. But they were always there for me. They always let me take my time with things. And even my brother, you know, my brother is out gay man and they have been very supportive to both of us. All the way to my cousins who came out before us. So It's very nice to be a part of a family that just accepts you, you know, for who you are. Because I know, unfortunately, a lot of people don't have that. Yeah. And that's why this is important. And us being visible, because if you don't have that, you can be part of our community and our family. Yeah, exactly. But yeah, I am very proud of who I am, what I've been through, what I have accomplished. I used to always joke. I was very lost, very confused. I struggled with lot of substance abuse before my transition. I really had no care for growing up or anything like that. ⁓ I didn't have an ambition career wise, but as soon as I started my transition, my life very much transformed. I found my life partner, which helped. I just launched myself in career. I went from job to salary positions and I continued to work my way up and I was able to really focus on other things and achievements because ⁓ myself finally. Authentic. And I guess this will be the last thing I say because I want to get into my other topic, but it is important I started transition in Boston at Fenway Health. Fenway Health is a pioneer in HRT, is hormone replacement therapy, especially for the transgender community. I would travel two hours every Friday to do my shots. Every single Friday, every single Friday. We weren't dating at the time, but we were working together. And I remember him telling me that. And I was like, that is insane. Yeah. And I hate driving on the highway, but I would do it. ⁓ And ⁓ first was the day that Donald Trump got inaugurated for the first time. And while I was waiting to get my first shot, a man that very much does not like me because of who I am as a trans man was, you know, making Michelle Obama very uncomfortable on national television during like the ceremony. Like that's what I remember is just like her face. It was like remorse. It was like she was at a funeral. It was so heavy and she was just trying to be respectful and I just remember all my friends all my loved ones being like aren't you so afraid? Like aren't you scared? I mean like No, I'm not because I have literally lived my life Just you know overall miserable up until this point. So You know fuck Donald Trump Donald Trump here I am I'm still on hormone therapy. This man has not taken anything from me. He has not taken anything from me and he won't take anything from me because I know who I am and if that upsets him, that's okay. If it upsets you, that's really on you. I am one alive. I am happy. I am loved and I, you know, thankfully I'm seen for who I am. But yeah, I always think about sitting in that waiting room watching that man get inaugurated and you know here I am being like you know screw you Trump first hormone therapy did not stop me symbolic here I am yeah I'm proud of you thank you proud of you for telling your story and for sticking it to the man literally Friday to the day I die yeah Thanks for sharing. Thanks. ⁓ Yeah. Thank you allowing me the space. Always and forever. love you. And I will say Anna always, talks about how she doesn't feel truly a part of our community. ⁓ And also want to talk about, just the community actually is. A lot of people just. instantly think of gay men, lesbians, ⁓ maybe people, but and bisexuals. Like I know that's what everyone just thinks. But it's a very ⁓ broad, A lot of different, people. How they love, who they love, ⁓ who they identify as. ⁓ That part is important And that floor is equally as important. I have a lot of friends, know, they're they them. That's them. That's who they are. And it's okay. And I feel like a lot of people, you know, they kind of like roll their eyes about it. It's like, what's the problem? Yeah. And ⁓ you are a of our community because ⁓ you are open love whoever, you know, that is that is the whole point of the community. You're smack dab in the middle. I consider myself pansexual for those wondering. Yeah. And so I don't know. I don't want you to ever feel that way because you are very important to our community. I honestly feel like if there weren't pansexuals in the world, who the hell would love me? ⁓ that's why I feel weird not always accepted in the community because people are like, well, to answer your question, bisexual people would love you. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. And it's like, so what does that, what does pansexual mean then? ⁓ to me, it's not about what's in your pants. It's not even really about what you look like. It's like, you make me laugh? It's more about your personality and then feelings grow from there. It's just, don't know. Bisexual in my mind, why I don't truly feel authentic in that is because I don't know, it just seems very binary. There's no middle ground. It's one or the other. And I like the way that pansexual is more fluid. That's just why I prefer that term. And you're definitely allowed that. Any haters out there, you know where to email us? Twotoolsnocluepodcast@gmail.com Send us your reviews. Your critiques. We'll say it again at the end. worry. So onto our queer queen. Yeah. Lady Eve. So what I think is really cool about Lady Eve first and foremost is she is Scottish. Hey, hey. Yep. Oh, we last she was and wanted to be a farmer. That sounded really Irish and I'm really sorry. I was born in Scotland and don't even put that in there. Well, it's just nevermind. Whatever. You can keep it there. I'm so embarrassed. I'm sorry. Okay, so Lady Eve Balfour, she was an organic agriculturist. was born a really long time ago. She was born in 1898. era was like World War I. wow. so there was a lot of farming already naturally there, but at the end of the day, like she was a woman. Only real reason she had any like up in life is because of, know, who her daddy was. ⁓ was a member of parliament. ⁓ even though he didn't really want her to be a farmer, like she still went to a really fancy school for university. was she's like fancy folk, but she wants to be a farmer. ⁓ yeah, for sure. But she did good things with it. So. Hoorah. I love like a rebel Yeah, they're just like, I'm gonna use my parents money for a charity that will literally run them dry for the rest of their lives. yeah. How can they be mad about that? But they are mad about it, you know what mean? But how could they be mad about it so that wasn't what she did. So she, you know, she's all she always loved to do farm work, obviously, because, you know, World War One, everybody learned how to farm because they needed food. The farmers were at war. No one was farming. So were there a lot of women farmers then? Yes. Children, women, family, literally the familial we're in Scotland we're not in Italy. Nevermind. ⁓ So she was used to that. She loved So she went to the university. ⁓ called Reading University College. And she got her reading or reding reading. It's spelled like reading. So I'm just going to say reading. Sorry, England. Don't care enough. ⁓ Shots fired. And she, yes, she got her diploma of agriculture there. And after that, she became appointed bailiff of a farm in Newport. And it was by the Women's War Agriculture Committee. because like the women were in charge of a lot of the farming because their men were out, fighting a world war. Yeah. Against Italy and the baddies. Everyone always talks about the nurses. I've never heard about the women farmers during war. What? Not even America? No. They're always there. We're going to do a bit on it. you were helping during the war and you're a woman, you're a nurse. Well. modern day child labor in America very much started because of the wars and so ⁓ mothers and would end up in the fields in the cities it would be the factories and stuff like that all because you know dad and brother and uncle are by right they got drafted drafted you do not have a choice it's like no joke ⁓ can't run to Canada ⁓ I I would run to ⁓ run into the woods in general. Yeah, do not look back. I'm like, they catch me, they catch me, but I'll just be like, my leg is broken at that point. Snap. Can't go, you broke my leg. I'm suing you. Anyway, we're getting off topic. So after the first World War, she still wanted to ⁓ do her farming bit, but she also started writing novels. ⁓ wow. Completely just out of pocket. Not about agriculture. They were romance novels. What? With. her what we believe to be her partner of 32 years. Stop it. the time they passed. Adorable. 32 years. Oh my goodness. What year is this that she's writing these novels in? So I'm going to read this bit from an article that they did on her from from the Soil Association. I thought it was really cute and it'll be in the show notes. It's just easier just to read it. So after the first World War, Balfour collaborated with Beryl. That was her first name. think it's a really cool name. Beryl Hearnden. I love that name. Yeah. To write detective novels. Oh, detective novels. I'm sorry. I read that wrong. Detective novels. You're really putting your own spin on that. Pseudonym. Hearnden Balfour, they put their names together. ⁓ I thought it was so cute. And I honestly think like modern day age, like they would have hyphenated that shit and got married. Yeah. I mean, like it's like really anyway, really. People are making their own last names. I feel like we missed the mark and we definitely should have done that. We can still do that. That is true. What it be? Wuggy? No, not even like just fuck the fuck all of our. our letters and just come up with a whole new one. Like Z-Morph. No, no, no, no, no, no. Like, like, ⁓ what are those weird names that the tech people have been naming their kids? Like, ⁓ my God, Z-Morph. Cyanon73. I don't even know how to pronounce Elon Musk's children's names. They changed their so yeah, they lived together for 32 years from 1919 to 1951 is when they wrote the novels together as well. History will say they were roommates. So while a romantic relationship between them has never been definitively proven. Well, they didn't need to write letters. They are living together. Yeah. So there's probably absolutely no proof. Yeah. significant aspect of Balfour's life reflecting the complexities and nuances of LGBTQ plus relationships during a time when such relationships are often hidden from the public view. Yeah, they very much were and like how how brave still be able to, you know, live in love. Pretty, pretty cool and still do so. pretty badass stuff. We haven't even really got to what she does. So is she in England right now or in Scotland? she's in England. Okay. What I really love her the most is just she really, really loves soil. Like she loves the earth. Like she wants... I did not know what you were going to say, but I was not expecting you to say soil. Well, that's why I chose her at the end of the day. I was, researching like, queer people from agriculture stumbled upon her and Jay was given the task of it's June we need to do a pride episode but also tie it into your worm episode and he freaking came through I'm shocked at this So one of the things that I admired about her the most and why I chose her was because in 1946 she co-founded the Soil Association. It's a charity, that's why I was like, you know, I it was funny. It's a charity to promoting sustainable agriculture worldwide it really is still a dominating factor in research today in erosion and she actually did research on erosion and that was back then and that's terrifying to think. ⁓ Lord. she cared about it immensely. And she she made it just transform into something that was beneficial to everybody, not just in little old England on her farm in Newport. did a lot of cool organic studies as well. They had three different setups ⁓ and would test the soil and how it was helping with or without pesticides. then just different types of grow methods. I don't know, I just thought it was really cool that she was one be able to do that in that time ⁓ as woman. Yeah. Also being loved by her partner who was a woman. Yeah. It was just incredible. So that's why I chose her. Yeah. And so now we're going to talk about some alien worms. was wondering when these alien worms were going to come into the picture. Okay, so Anna, first, before I go into, you know, my spiral of what I think of when you say alien worms, I would like to know what do you think of? What's the first thing that comes to mind when I say alien worm? E.T. phone home. ⁓ me E.T. was not a worm. ⁓ creepy finger I so not like that movie really traumatized me as a ⁓ child like that movie came out in the 80s I think and was not okay watching it as a 90s baby no me neither I didn't like it I don't like it at all traumatizing yeah I did like the ride though ⁓ that's so you think of ET well I think of the worm guys in the office of men in black you have you ever seen men in black Yes. You know, little annoying guys with the coffee. I thought those were shrimp. Those are worms. Those are alien worms. I have a picture. ⁓ Lord. here. Those guys skieved me out, too. I 100 % thought those were shrimp. They're so funny. They don't really look like worms, but that's what they're called. There's the alien worms. And that's what I always think of. And then the other thing that I think of is that big fat the heck is his name? Jabba the Hutt? yeah. In Star Wars? Slug guy. But yeah, so that's what I think of. And so, you know, just like I do, because I'm a professional at it, I just typed alien worms into Google. And the first thing came up was actually very interesting. I'm sorry. Hold on. What made you type alien worms into Google in the first place? ⁓ Well, in the worm you told me I had to do an episode on alien worms because I said something about it. think is how this came to be. I don't remember. I'm pretty sure you told me that you're like, that's the mini. So I'm like, ⁓ but I, what I found was actually very informative and very terrifying, especially because of the live. ⁓ God. Have you ever heard of a hammerhead worm? Yes, I have. They've like kind of been on the homestead pages. They're in the south and in west. Thankfully I don't think they're up here yet. So like they consider them alien. Because they're super invasive, right? They are, yeah. And so I thought it would be helpful to just, you know, talk a little bit about them. PSA! They're gross. Why are they called that? Do they have a little hammerhead? Yeah, they're disgusting. You want to a picture? Yeah, put one up on the screen. Okay. And I'll describe it for our listeners. ⁓ Okay, so for those listeners who have not seen a hammerhead shark, they're very sp- shark. They look like a hammerhead shark. very sperm-like. it looks like one of those plastic tags on your clothing like a Price and yeah, it look a hammerhead shark And that's why ⁓ I think I was trying be creative with my description looks like that little clear plastic bit the long and their gross looking and just wait Yeah, yeah, ⁓ it was like four inches So they're disgusting. Where'd they come from? Asia. Of course. Thank you Asia. Came in soil and gross plants. was actually first. I'll get into that. So first I'm going tell you what these motherfuckers are. Hammerhead worms are invasive and they're predatory. They eat earthworms. What? And snails. Rude. They're not good for your soil. They like give off toxic stuff. Yuck. So they're considered pests because they can decimate local populations and really, really harm your soil because it just gets depleted because of they secrete a toxic mucus containing tetrodotoxin. which can make pets sick and cause skin irritation in humans. So you can get like rashes and stuff. and they can only be killed by freezing or with salt. can not cut them up ⁓ they can regenerate. Why is ⁓ invasive? Like just a tiny little fragment. ⁓ continue. Why? And why is it always come from fricking either Europe or Asia? Get out of here! And what happens if we let them take over? ⁓ my God. So it all gets killed. ⁓ we're all just going to die. So they prefer moist, dark environments, like under rocks, logs and in greenhouses. So that's the only place that you'll really see them in colder environments or usually in greenhouses. check your greenhouses, cold environment folks. Gross. so, they're primarily nocturnal. they move using a slime trail. I forgot about that. They're just over on on why they're also alien like ⁓ Just oozing They're like, you know genuine predators they hunt earthworms do they have natural predators in Asia? Hmm What do you mean like cuz with okay, so If you're following us on TikTok, you've seen my invasive black swallow-wort video and that shit has a natural predator, which is a moth, but they like, it's not for public use. they're bringing it over and testing it out right now from the sounds of it, but you can't just like go and order it and let it loose. Obviously. that would probably cause more harm than good. But is there something that munches on these guys in Asia that they might try to bring over here? should have looked that up. I didn't read anything about it. I just learned how to kill it. And if you're bringing that shit over here, it's like. Yeah, I like came over like cargo ships and stuff like that from probably. Plants seeds. Yeah, very stuff. It's gross. Yeah, so they hunt earthworms and. mollusks using a neurotoxin to paralyze and digest them externally. It's really good. Externally. And then they slurp them up. I saw these are the worms with teeth that I saw talking about. Yeah, I saw one picture. That the worm literally looked like a slug because it had just ate a slug. Oh, that's a slug. And know it's not like creepy snakes. Oh, I got to keep going because I really this is hard for Yeah, you cannot put them up. they will come back to haunt you in multiples. Instead of having one, now you have two. you have to you have to place them in a sealed container and kill them by freezing adding salt or using hand sanitizer then disposes a container in the trash I say burn it to at the end just for shits and giggles have a ceremony and burn that shit actually I don't know because they have toxins so don't listen to me maybe just listen to the internet more People are probably like, is this a big deal? They're just worms. Well, like I said, they're going to kill your soil. And, you know, at war time, how are you going to plant your food? You're not going to be able to. Really sad at all. You know, it doesn't just have to do with planting food. Like I know a lot of people are like, I don't like vegetables. I love processed food. OK, well, flooding will also happen if your soil is like erosion is a serious thing that people I feel like just don't. They don't get it. They're like, ⁓ erosion like California will be gone. What's so bad about that? It's just like, that's not what happens. I remember Vermont a few years ago. Okay. That's erosion issues. That's dam issues. Like whole town's just like split in half because of this river. Like just terrifying. ⁓ and, so like it is, it is really bad. these worms sound like our queer queen Eve's worst nightmare. Yes. ⁓ are you? Help us. ⁓ ⁓ Hopefully not surrounded by these worms Larry I don't know if you guys can hear our cat, but he's been trying to bust down the door sir Larry let me in I have something to say about these worms! He wants to say happy pride and these worms Yeah Yeah, so overall they're very disgusting. ⁓ I'll have a few pictures of them just to show you guys but Yeah, you really have to do be careful. And if you do find them, you have to take it seriously. I will put in the link the other thing I read about how to get rid of them too, and kind of like mass production. ⁓ yeah, you'll put that on the show notes. But yeah, like, know, is in you know, so if you're down south, like check your gardens. Check your greenhouses even up here. mean, you never really know. It all starts with imported plants. You buy plants from Home Depot. buy, know, Bonnie starters. We all do. We killed some plants and guess what? We have them. And so you have to be careful. we don't know where these plants are being know? So yeah, it's possible. It could happen to you. Don't split them because of comeback. the other wicked gross. I don't think I want to talk about them anymore. But I honestly, when I think of alien worms, I do think of invasive things. But I really do just think of like, you know, all the worm things and all like the sci fi movies. Yeah, I know. That's why everybody else they do look very sci fi. So gross. I when I first saw an article about them. It was like a while ago and it was a CNN article and I found it again and it was like very serious. They were like, this is what you need to do and this is what you need to check. And if you live here and they were like talking about like the population and how it's growing because of climate change. And so it has been kind of trending, you know, a lot of homesteader pages on Facebook and Tik Tok, they're talking about how to get rid of them. Just Source check your shit before even me source check your shit before you you start trying to dispose of stuff. when it comes to pests and things because some pests are good, but some are aliens. Yeah. And you got to take care of them. So, yeah, that's that's really all I got for our little minisode today that was fun. Yeah. A little bit of everything. Yeah. ⁓ Shout to Anna's coworker for her. very rainbow shawl. Love it. She made this and she was, I said this before on the podcast, but she was going to donate it. And she was like, do you want it? And I was like, absolutely fricking lovely. it's beautiful. It's got all the colors. It's very cool. She fricking made it. And so yeah, if you. Oh yeah. And this is my only fricking pride shirt that I have. I got it for free. I didn't even realize until this episode, I was like, are all my pride shirts? I realize every time I've been to a pride, I've just dressed colorful. I'd never had a pride shirt. So this is this is all I got as a fairy. So thank God to Madison for giving me this or else I'd have nothing. And what a shame. I just think it's funny. Absolutely shameful. Sorry. I just think it's funny that the BJ's t-shirt, instead of it saying BJ's Wholesale Club for pride, they just wrote BJ's. ⁓ That's awesome. It's one of my favorite shirts to have. BJ's check. ⁓ Anyway. ⁓ So yeah, before Anna does her little bit, I just want to again say happy pride to everybody. I also just want to, you know, remind the haters that pride isn't just about us going out and being all covered in glitter and rainbows and you know, love is love banners and whatnot. Like it really started to be because our community was being, marginalized in a really bad way. the pandemic was really, a start to, I don't know, a version of our community that was like evil to everybody. And so like, I hope if, if you don't know anyone in your life that is, a part of our community, I just hope you can can see the the other side of it. we're just normal people. We just, want people to realize that we're safe people, we're we're not diseased. We're not going to steal your kids like we're not going to do crazy stuff. We just we just, happen to be who we are, love who we love kind of thing. ⁓ But I always try to take a moment. remember the people that first fought for those people in that time. Some people of the members are of their own community. know, a lot of the people that did take care of the people the AIDS ⁓ were lesbian nurses, ⁓ okay? hoorah that. ⁓ it's also, you it's just something that I always try to take a moment because a lot of people have lost their lives. just because they were a part of our community. Whether it be their own choice or not, I ⁓ to take a moment because I'm grateful to still be here and we ⁓ you and we miss you all. Okay, thank you. I love you. Today is Thursday, June 25th. So from the 25th to the 26th was Custer's... That sounds English. Custer's Last Stand. I've never heard it be called that, but it's also called the Battle of Little Bighorn in Montana in 1876. What's Custer's? Custer's? That's the name of the place. C S T E R. It was apparently some. He like led the battle in and reamed. That's why these Native American tribes freaking plowed them down. If there was a huge victory for the Native Americans. ⁓ Anyway, not, sorry. Today is the best day to brew, demolish. Buy a home, slaughter livestock, advertise to sell, mow to promote growth, plant above ground crops and breed animals. Busy day. out there folks. Yeah. Go sell your house. That was weird. I haven't heard that one yet. Buy a house. There was another weird one recently. I'm like why is buy a home advertised to sell. Advertise. Don't get those two mixed up. Don't sell your house today. It's not a good day for it. Just advertise to sell. Yeah. What though? My soul, guess. Yeah. Well per usual, you know, it's been real. It's been a really interesting mini-sode. ⁓ thanks for being here with me. Yeah. Thanks for being here with us. You can follow us on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok @TwoToolsNoCluepodcast. ⁓ And subscribe to our at patreon.com/TwoToolsNoClue. And you can email us at TwoToolsNoCluepodcast@gmail.com. You can send the love, you know, if you want, you can send the hate, but you know, that's your wasted time, not ours. ⁓ And yeah, happy pride, everybody. Happy pride. Watch out for those hammerhead worms. Be safe. Be seen. Be heard, motherfucker. Yeah! We love you. We love you. Bye, guys.