Latest / The Dr. Psych Mom Show with clinical psychologist Dr. Samantha Rodman Whiten / When Your (Relatively Young) Wife Thinks That A Sexless Marriage Should Be Fine With You

Transcript

When Your (Relatively Young) Wife Thinks That A Sexless Marriage Should Be Fine With You · The Dr. Psych Mom Show with clinical psychologist Dr. Samantha Rodman Whiten

• 0:05
  Hi, everybody and welcome to the Doctor Psych Mom Show.
• 0:08
  Today we're going to talk about the new issue that I see
• 0:13
  relatively recently in recent years versus earlier in my
• 0:18
  career, where women seem to think that it's totally OK and
• 0:22
  normal for a man to remain in a sexless marriage in perpetuity.
• 0:27
  And these are not postmenopausal women.
• 0:30
  You know who may be within their rights to think?
• 0:33
  You know what? You can't really get it up
• 0:35
  either. Instead of using Viagra and
• 0:38
  trying to beat back the hands of time and remain immortal.
• 0:42
  Perhaps that, you know, in our 60s, our sex life can slow down
• 0:45
  quite a bit given that I have basically extremely painful sex,
• 0:49
  I am no longer fertile and there's nothing in me that wants
• 0:53
  to procreate, right? I mean, so, so, like, that
• 0:55
  woman's got a point, you know, still shouldn't be totally
• 0:58
  sexless if the guy still likes to cuddle and be clothes.
• 1:02
  I talk about this myriad places all over my blog and my podcast.
• 1:07
  Sex needs to evolve as you're older.
• 1:09
  It can turn more into cuddling into manual stimulation.
• 1:13
  You know, like once a week would still be good, you know, would
• 1:16
  be great for many people in their 60s.
• 1:18
  But, you know, you could see where those women are coming
• 1:21
  from, right? You know, you could see, like,
• 1:23
  we have had a great sex life over the years, or at least
• 1:26
  we've had a sex life over the years.
• 1:28
  And now you know what? It changes.
• 1:30
  I have health issues. You have health issues.
• 1:32
  Like, why don't we kind of slow down?
• 1:35
  I think most people can understand that if that in and
• 1:38
  of itself makes you feel uncomfortable or even angry.
• 1:41
  I have podcasts about called Age is Not Just a Number and why are
• 1:47
  at post called Why are your kids allowed to grow up but Not Your
• 1:50
  wife? Which is frequently a big
• 1:53
  epiphany for men in as much as nobody likes when their wife
• 1:57
  treats their kids like they're younger than they are.
• 1:59
  So basically why you're treating your wife like she's younger
• 2:01
  than she is. All right, fine.
• 2:02
  So all of this is a given. However, I'm now seeing women
• 2:07
  that are in their 30s, even really mostly in their 30s and
• 2:11
  some in their 40s that are saying basically, I don't want
• 2:15
  sex. So basically I don't want it at
• 2:17
  all. And because I don't want it at
• 2:20
  all, then you should be fine with that because you love me
• 2:24
  and we're raising a family And it is a it's basically a
• 2:28
  religion of our generation that nobody should do anything they
• 2:32
  don't want to do. And that anything that even
• 2:35
  vaguely is quote, nonconsensual is bad.
• 2:39
  And so thus I don't want sex. Maybe I'm on antidepressants.
• 2:43
  Maybe I don't like sex, sex. Maybe I've discovered I'm
• 2:46
  asexual. We'll get more into that asexual
• 2:50
  thing in a bit, but you then cannot make me want something I
• 2:54
  don't want. And if I don't want something,
• 2:58
  it Trump's something you do want because somehow that would be
• 3:02
  non consensual, which I will also get to.
• 3:05
  And I have a whole thing on marital coercion and what it is
• 3:07
  or and isn't. You could just type coercion
• 3:09
  into my post, to my podcast, and so therefore we should remain in
• 3:13
  a sexless marriage. Definitely masturbate.
• 3:15
  That's cool with me. And love should not be about
• 3:18
  sex. If it does, then you're shallow
• 3:20
  and basically we're cool, right? You know, like, still sleep in
• 3:25
  the same bed and everything. And I love you.
• 3:28
  That's a good one. I love you.
• 3:30
  But like, I just never. I'm going to do that.
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  And it's like totally abhorrent that you would want me to do
• 3:35
  that. Because remember, I don't want
• 3:37
  to do that. Anyway, we will get into that
• 3:40
  all in depth after I tell you to subscribe.
• 3:42
  Maybe you thought I forgot because my intro was longer than
• 3:45
  usual. But I never forget.
• 3:47
  Probably Sometimes I forget. And you should definitely
• 3:50
  subscribe. 133 subscriber episodes, including the vaunted
• 3:55
  oral sex on women. And let's see, let's see, man,
• 3:59
  Let's see what the other one was.
• 4:00
  What's going to be coming down the Pike?
• 4:02
  Actually, Oh no. The most recent was Remarriage
• 4:05
  gives you new perspective on being a good part partner.
• 4:08
  And it's not just us being a good parent.
• 4:10
  And of course the best one ever, the honeymoon stage.
• 4:13
  And why there's no bait and switch.
• 4:15
  That one was before this, before the most recent subscriber
• 4:19
  episode. That's the one I'm going to link
• 4:20
  it to all the guys who tell me that their wife had some
• 4:23
  malicious bait and switch intent when marrying them.
• 4:26
  Like what? The F like that is not why her
• 4:29
  libido went down. But anyway, so I'm glad that now
• 4:32
  I can only link that. That's why I made it a paid 1.
• 4:36
  Because I'm like, you know what? Like, I have a total rebuttal
• 4:39
  for that. But if you're that negative and
• 4:41
  nasty about your wife, then, you know, maybe you could pay to
• 4:44
  hear it and maybe you won't, but who cares?
• 4:47
  And it's a really good topic so that there's loads and loads of
• 4:51
  subscriber episodes. OK, so back to this.
• 4:54
  So it is basically a religion among younger people now that
• 4:58
  nobody should ever do anything they don't want to do.
• 5:00
  And so non consensual sex used to be rape.
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  It used to be assault. Like, that's what that was
• 5:06
  called. As I discussed in my coercion
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  podcast, there are other ways to be emotionally blackmailing.
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  So, for example, like, I mean, I gave, like, really good examples
• 5:16
  in that one, so I don't have to redo it, but I'll do it again,
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  the guys. Like, come on, come on.
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  You kissed me. You made it hard.
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  You made it hard. Don't you see?
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  You made it hard. What kind of wife are you if you
• 5:26
  go to sleep now? I can't go to sleep now.
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  I think I'm just going to go have to Jack off to porn because
• 5:30
  you got it hard now. You won't take care of business,
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  you know? You know, sometimes I don't even
• 5:34
  know really what this marriage is all about, man.
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  You know, because because you just leave me high and dry like
• 5:40
  that and we didn't do it for a few days and that's not how men
• 5:43
  work. And you know, I think that you
• 5:46
  know, like that bullshit like the harangue, the rant, the
• 5:48
  Guild trip. But I'm not seeing men who do
• 5:51
  that very frequently. The ones that do, I put the
• 5:54
  kibosh on that. If someone could get them into
• 5:56
  couples therapy, that is like, for sure something that I
• 6:00
  discuss with them. And honestly, quite frequently
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  men are embarrassed when they think about it as being
• 6:06
  emotional black male. The men that do that, by the
• 6:09
  way, grew up here in guilt trips, obviously, because people
• 6:12
  do what they're taught, you know, So it can be an eye opener
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  to the woman because she never thinks about his mom when she's
• 6:18
  in bed, you know, I mean, holy shit, that would really kill the
• 6:22
  sex life, you know, that's dying already.
• 6:24
  But sometimes she's like, Oh my God, yeah, his mother guilt
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  trips all the time. His mother or his father is so
• 6:30
  emotionally blackmailing. And then that's exactly what he
• 6:33
  does to me and Beth. So that could be a big epiphany
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  and it can be, you know, one that you actually have right
• 6:37
  now, interestingly possibly. So I'm not talking about those
• 6:41
  guys. I'm talking about the guys who
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  basically say, you know, once a quarter, you know, we don't
• 6:46
  really have sex. And it upsets me like, do you
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  think we could go talk to somebody about it or do you
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  think we could work on it? Or is there something I should
• 6:53
  be doing different because it's, it's makes me upset.
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  Now that's not emotional blackmail.
• 6:58
  That's emotional expression. That's like the good one.
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  That's the one you're supposed to be doing when something is
• 7:03
  not good for you in a relationship.
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  You're supposed to be expressing your emotions on your needs in a
• 7:07
  calm and honest way. So those guys are doing the
• 7:10
  right thing, right. And so in that situation, I
• 7:15
  increasingly hear younger women say, well, no, you don't
• 7:20
  understand. It's non consensual.
• 7:22
  If we ever have sex again, it's non consensual because when I'm
• 7:24
  telling you that I don't want to have sex.
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  So like, you know, I, I, you know, I have sensory issues and
• 7:30
  I have a whole pod. I don't know if I have a podcast
• 7:32
  yet. Yes, I do.
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  Yes, I do. I have one on just chronic pain
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  or depression, which I struggle with myself.
• 7:38
  Depression, so it's not as though I can't understand,
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  uniquely impact one area of your wife's life called having sex
• 7:45
  with you. So the same thing goes for
• 7:48
  sensory issues. Like she has sensory issues, so
• 7:50
  she can't kiss you, but she can or she can't even hug you right
• 7:54
  Sometimes. But she could hug the kids, kiss
• 7:56
  the kids, cuddle with the dog, she could do all sorts of stuff,
• 7:59
  but she can't touch you because of sensory issues.
• 8:01
  Like I don't know, unless you smell like a garbage truck,
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  there's probably something else going on there called not
• 8:07
  wanting to get out of your comfort zone.
• 8:09
  Right. Which is exactly what would
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  perpetuate any sort of issue, you know, sensory or otherwise,
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  but any who. So basically when the wife says
• 8:19
  that any sort of sexual activity would by definition be
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  nonconsensual because she doesn't, she know she realize
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  that she no longer wants it at all.
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  Basically at a young, relatively young age, still very post
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  premenopausal and pre perimenopausal even, you know,
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  basically 30s or 40s perimenopause starts in your 40s
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  but like it still doesn't. It's not supposed to hurt you
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  like it's not supposed to. You're not supposed to have
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  vaginal atrophy in your 40s unless you've gone through early
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  menopause. Anyway, point is that they say
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  basically I don't want sex but but you should never be mad at
• 8:58
  me. It is.
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  It would be non consensual for me to do it because I don't want
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  it. And of course I can't do
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  anything I don't want to do because nobody should,
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  obviously. And therefore we made a vow and
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  the vow is that we remain married no matter what.
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  And I kind of don't even understand, honestly, it's kind
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  of a little bit gross to me that you're even still saying you
• 9:22
  want this because why would you want it when I don't want it?
• 9:24
  That's that's the best one. I love that comment.
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  It's like, it's like, talk about codependent, right?
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  Like if you're not hungry for for breakfast, is he also
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  supposed to be not hungry for breakfast?
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  Like if you don't wanna go exercise, should he also not go
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  exercise? If you it's so crazy If you
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  don't wanna hug, do you tell your child it's kind of a little
• 9:46
  gross that you wanna hug for me right now?
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  Little bit boundary crossing. Not gonna lie, a little bit
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  rapey, you know, I mean, if you're really pushing for this,
• 9:55
  hug my third grader, and I've already told you that Mommy is
• 10:00
  touched out, then I I mean, I don't know what to say.
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  No, of course it's like, crazy and cruel, but like, somehow
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  you're allowed to say it right to your spouse, so nobody would
• 10:09
  really say that to their kid. Hopefully.
• 10:13
  But anyway, so they basically say we're gonna remain in a
• 10:16
  sexless marriage. You can go jerk off, that's
• 10:18
  cool. But you can't sleep with anybody
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  else because again, we made a vow.
• 10:22
  I don't want an open marriage because that's kind of weird and
• 10:24
  gross too. And you know, so you're just
• 10:27
  like never gonna have sex again. But that's cool because remember
• 10:30
  I said you could masturbate. So it's like it's an it's a need
• 10:33
  and you can release that need. And you know, I mean, really, I
• 10:37
  think that's pretty good deal for you, because it's a good
• 10:40
  deal for me too. And it's equivalent.
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  Like, I don't. I get to be married and not have
• 10:45
  sex, which of course is what I want.
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  And you get to be married and jerk off.
• 10:50
  It's cool. I mean, like, we're both getting
• 10:52
  our needs met. And I mean, I'd like to tell
• 10:54
  you, this is what compromise looks like.
• 10:56
  And I'm sure that this is going to be, you know, sustainable
• 10:59
  longterm as long as you keep your head in the right place and
• 11:02
  you realize that we're A-Team and we have a family.
• 11:04
  And remember, I love you. So it's all good, I think.
• 11:08
  Of course, I'm caricaturing a bit for the purposes of, you
• 11:11
  know, not falling asleep as I record this podcast and being
• 11:15
  more entertaining for you. But yeah, this is kind of what I
• 11:18
  hear sometimes. Like this is not OK.
• 11:21
  You know, there is one situation in which this is OK, and it is
• 11:24
  when you were in a sexless dating relationship.
• 11:28
  So there are some people who say to me, yes, I did say to him, I
• 11:32
  believe that I'm asexual and he said I love you, maybe we can
• 11:35
  work on it, maybe not. Maybe you could still do it
• 11:37
  sometimes anyway. And and I said maybe, maybe not.
• 11:42
  And he said, well, I want to get married anyway.
• 11:44
  Now, if you're asking what kind of guy would do that, there are
• 11:46
  guys with very low self esteem out there.
• 11:48
  And there are guys who found the woman that they think is the
• 11:51
  perfect woman in reality. Imago theory suggests that the
• 11:55
  reason she is the perfect woman is because she's so rejecting.
• 11:58
  You know, so they grew up with a parent who wouldn't give them
• 12:01
  love. And now they found a woman who
• 12:02
  was literally saying, I will refuse to give you sex for in
• 12:06
  perpetuity. And they say, bingo, jackpot,
• 12:09
  wipe her up. And so that those guys, she's
• 12:13
  really got a like to stand on. And of course I do not think the
• 12:16
  relationship is sustainable if the man you know eventually has
• 12:20
  like a crumb of self-awareness insight or anything.
• 12:23
  But still she could be pretty mad.
• 12:26
  She's like, I told you I didn't want the sex.
• 12:29
  I told you that from go we were in a sex dead bedroom when we
• 12:33
  were dating and then your ass proposed to me.
• 12:35
  So the hell are you complaining about now?
• 12:37
  Cool. You know, I mean that she got a
• 12:39
  point. Of course he can change and
• 12:42
  grow, and that's a central precept of my work and my
• 12:45
  podcasts, etcetera. People change and grow all the
• 12:48
  time. And so even a guy in that
• 12:50
  situation, if that's you, you can decide to go to therapy, get
• 12:54
  some confidence back, understand the origin of why you like to
• 12:57
  get shit on and, you know, move forward in a different way where
• 13:01
  you do not remain in the marriage that you will never get
• 13:03
  your needs met in Okay, but let's go to the more normative
• 13:07
  situation in which they did have sex life before.
• 13:11
  And so she says, well, basically that was then, This is now.
• 13:14
  I had a sex drive then, and I don't know, I wanted to then and
• 13:17
  I don't want to now. So it was basically, you know,
• 13:21
  only because we both wanted to and you would never want me to
• 13:24
  do anything I don't want to do, right.
• 13:28
  So some of these dipshits, no offense, no offense.
• 13:31
  I I love all my listeners and the young men in this situation.
• 13:35
  I have nothing but empathy for you.
• 13:37
  And I'm making this podcast for you.
• 13:39
  But think again. Think it's so silly, right?
• 13:42
  You respond is so silly because you don't mean it and you say
• 13:47
  automatically knee jerk response because you're so well trained,
• 13:51
  you know, to be like a good guy. And you said, of course I would
• 13:56
  never want you to do anything you don't want to do.
• 14:00
  And then you put more, one more shovel full of dirt into your
• 14:04
  grave, you know? No.
• 14:07
  So what should you respond then? You may be asking.
• 14:10
  Of course I want you do something you don't want to do.
• 14:13
  I do shit I don't want to do all the damn time.
• 14:15
  Having this conversation is some shit I don't want to do.
• 14:18
  Gentle parenting is some shit I don't want to do.
• 14:21
  Going to visit your mom is some shit I don't want to do.
• 14:23
  There's a lot of shit I do that I don't want to do.
• 14:26
  I clean the house the way you like it instead of the way that
• 14:28
  I like it. I go to the Pumpkin Festival
• 14:31
  even though I fucking hate pumpkins.
• 14:33
  I do shit I don't want to do all the time.
• 14:35
  And you know what? It doesn't.
• 14:37
  It's no different because it's sex.
• 14:39
  And if you really don't want to have sex with me ever again, I
• 14:43
  cannot remain in this relationship.
• 14:45
  I'd like to work on things. I'm hoping that if you get some
• 14:48
  more, like, you know, input from somebody who's a trained
• 14:51
  professional, maybe you do some more education on what desire is
• 14:55
  actually supposed to look like within monogamy.
• 14:58
  Because I think you're expecting it to be like how it was when we
• 15:00
  first got together. And it's never going to be like
• 15:02
  that. And, you know, maybe we can work
• 15:05
  with somebody on it. Maybe we can have an open
• 15:07
  marriage. But here's what's not
• 15:08
  acceptable. What's not acceptable?
• 15:10
  It's for me to never have sex again, right?
• 15:11
  Because I I want to be a sexual entity.
• 15:15
  And that was part of what I understood to be the fact of our
• 15:19
  marriage. I thought that we were saying
• 15:22
  that we would continue to have the sex life that we had before.
• 15:25
  And maybe I was wrong and you felt totally differently at the
• 15:29
  time. And it was solely dependent on
• 15:32
  you experiencing spontaneous desire, which is, you know, when
• 15:35
  you get horny. And I know you hate that word
• 15:38
  because everybody listening to this would hate that word, you
• 15:40
  know, the recipient. But that's what it is.
• 15:43
  And I've been doing my reading, and I see that women kind of
• 15:47
  don't really feel like that a lot after years of monogamy
• 15:51
  outside of the honeymoon stage. So I would love to work on
• 15:54
  getting our relationship to a place where we could understand
• 15:59
  more about how sex can fit into a mature marriage.
• 16:02
  But what I'm not OK with is being a little bit in
• 16:05
  perpetuity. And masturbation is in no way
• 16:08
  the equivalent to sex because sex is supposed to be reciprocal
• 16:12
  and sex is supposed to be mutual.
• 16:15
  And it maybe you think it's all about the orgasm.
• 16:18
  For me, it's not. I am totally aware that I can
• 16:21
  masturbate. That's not, you know, something
• 16:23
  that is equivalent. So.
• 16:25
  So all of you guys say like, oh, she won't listen to, you know,
• 16:29
  your podcast. And so I gave you like a whole
• 16:32
  script that you could slow it down and you could like write
• 16:36
  down all the shit that I said. Then you could edit it down and
• 16:39
  then you could put it in your own words.
• 16:41
  And that's what you should say. You shouldn't send her my
• 16:43
  podcast because remember, she doesn't like my podcast.
• 16:47
  She's not going to like it. There are women of the very sex,
• 16:50
  negative women that are part of some women love my podcast, you
• 16:54
  know, I mean, I got at least got around 50% on all my platforms.
• 16:58
  Maybe 40% of the podcast is women.
• 17:00
  I forget what it is now, but anyway.
• 17:03
  And thank you all women for listening, of course, but sex
• 17:07
  positive women. So like my Facebook group, for
• 17:08
  example, right? Which I'm always plugging and
• 17:11
  you should definitely join. It's 499 a month cheaper than
• 17:14
  the podcast subscription that's filled with sex positive women
• 17:18
  because that's basically who follows me.
• 17:19
  You know it used to be moms, right?
• 17:22
  Because I was writing mostly about parenting issues.
• 17:24
  But then pretty quickly I also started writing about
• 17:26
  relationship issues and I've always been sex positive and the
• 17:30
  women that basically are my fans are more high libido women or
• 17:37
  just sexually open minded women that are experiencing decrements
• 17:41
  in their libido, post monogamy, post kids, post menopause, what
• 17:45
  have you. But generally they agree that
• 17:48
  sex is an important part of marriage.
• 17:50
  Now my male followers, they don't need any massive specifics
• 17:54
  because like the average man is high libido.
• 17:56
  So compared to a woman, right? There's of course a range within
• 18:00
  men as well, but the point is that a lot of guys then think
• 18:05
  that their wife is going to listen to me.
• 18:07
  She's not going to listen to me if I'm saying something that's
• 18:09
  scary. What I'm saying is that her
• 18:11
  favorite way of thinking about the world, which is I don't have
• 18:13
  to do what I don't want to do, is is being interrogated.
• 18:16
  And I interrogate that in men as well, because you can find like
• 18:19
  15 podcasts where I tell your ass to get to the Pumpkin
• 18:22
  Festival because that's being a good partner, you know?
• 18:26
  And it is. So go to the Pumpkin Festival,
• 18:28
  obviously. But the the point is that
• 18:31
  everybody does stuff that they don't want to do in a marriage,
• 18:35
  and that is okay and healthy. You also do stuff that you don't
• 18:39
  want to do as a parent pretty constantly, and that is okay
• 18:43
  too. And it's always okay for us to
• 18:46
  do things that we don't start out loving in service of greater
• 18:49
  values, particularly values of connection and closeness and
• 18:55
  generosity with loved ones. So I would never tell anybody to
• 18:59
  engage in a nonconsensual sexual encounter in any sort of
• 19:06
  granular way, such as the man you literally are exhausted and
• 19:11
  he's forcing himself on you right there. 100% terrible.
• 19:14
  Of course physical forcing is beyond terrible, but I'm even
• 19:17
  talking about the emotional forcing, the kind of guilt
• 19:20
  tripping thing that's bad too. And I talk about that in my
• 19:23
  coercion podcast in depth. However, a person stating, a man
• 19:27
  stating, or a woman stating when they're a higher libido partner
• 19:30
  that they want to have sex. Like a philosophical discussion
• 19:34
  about wanting to work on having sex and have sex be part of the
• 19:36
  life, And then a person saying that basically because they are
• 19:41
  not in the mood and don't remember the last time they've
• 19:43
  been in the mood, that all encounters would therefore be
• 19:47
  non consensual. There is no world where they
• 19:50
  try, you know, kissing and touching to see what happens.
• 19:53
  There's no world in which they try to go to a sex therapist.
• 19:56
  There's no world in which they try to think about what sorts of
• 20:00
  things could help them relax such that they might be turned
• 20:03
  on eventually. e.g. Massage, which is always the one
• 20:06
  that I talk about, et cetera. So that it is just as coercive
• 20:14
  to expect somebody to to guilt trip, to try to guilt trip
• 20:18
  somebody into remaining in a sexless marriage as it is to
• 20:20
  guilt trip somebody to have an individual sexual encounter.
• 20:23
  And that is the lens that I'm trying to promulgate with this.
• 20:27
  Also, that's not going to be appealing to somebody who
• 20:31
  doesn't want to hear it. So that's why I gave you
• 20:34
  basically my soliloquy before that you can listen to this
• 20:37
  again and jot down parts of the ones that resonate with you and
• 20:41
  use it to basically come up with like a paragraph that you're
• 20:44
  going to actually say to your wife if you are in this
• 20:46
  situation. And again, this is a, you know,
• 20:52
  a the zeitgeist of our times for people of this age group and and
• 20:57
  possibly younger, although we're not coming out.
• 21:00
  I don't know that much about the Gen.
• 21:02
  Z marital problems because they're not that old enough to
• 21:05
  have many. You know.
• 21:07
  But it it the, the idea of we only do things that we want to
• 21:11
  do is is not helpful for any sort of interpersonal
• 21:16
  relationship. It's not helpful for a career.
• 21:18
  It's not helpful for anything. So while writ large, yes, you
• 21:22
  know you should only do things that are in line with your
• 21:24
  values and if truly your value is never having sex again but
• 21:28
  yet remaining in a romantically monogamous relationship, it's
• 21:31
  not going to work. You know that that's coercive to
• 21:34
  the person who would then have to deny an entire aspect of
• 21:38
  their being. So it it just doesn't work.
• 21:41
  Like, for some people, open marriage could work, but for
• 21:44
  most people, they want the love and the sex in one person.
• 21:47
  Men too, you know. And that's why, you know, and
• 21:50
  and maybe it is that that you guys just decide that you're not
• 21:54
  going to be together. That's okay, you know?
• 21:57
  I mean, that's it's honestly, yeah, divorce is bad for kids,
• 22:01
  but it's really not as bad as a super contentious relationship,
• 22:06
  as I've discussed numerous times.
• 22:08
  And honestly, you are people too, and sacrificing one
• 22:11
  person's entire life. You know when you could also
• 22:14
  instead focus on creating a positive environment and dual
• 22:18
  households for your children? You know, like it's you got to
• 22:22
  think about yourself as a person you know who deserves to have at
• 22:25
  least some things that that they want.
• 22:27
  And having a sexual relationship of some sort within marriage is
• 22:31
  not like a large ask, you know? So anyway, I hope that you got
• 22:36
  something out of this and I hope that it gave at least one person
• 22:39
  an epiphany and or a concrete way to think about approaching
• 22:43
  their wife with this information and I'll talk to y'all soon.
• 22:48
  Have a great day guys.