Latest / Find Your Edge: Training, Nutrition + Longevity for Endurance Athletes / How to Handle Holiday Food Comments (and stick with your health goals) Ep 119

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How to Handle Holiday Food Comments (and stick with your health goals) Ep 119 · Find Your Edge: Training, Nutrition + Longevity for Endurance Athletes

• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: Hey friends, and welcome back to the Find Your Edge podcast.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: I am your host, Coach Chris Newport, and today, as promised, we are diving into something that every single one of us deals with during the holidays.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: Food comments, food pressure, and people having all the opinions about what you are or are not eating.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: And listen, none of this has anything to do with your character, your discipline, or your worth.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: But these comments can throw us off, especially when we're trying to feel good or stay on track with a particular health goal or simply enjoy the season without any guilt.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: So today we're going a little bit deeper.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: Talking about why people make comments, how to understand the reasons behind them, and how to respond with ease, confidence, kindness, and boundaries.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: Oof, let's get to it.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: All right, so why people make food comments, even when it's really none of their business.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: So understand this first.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: Most food comments are not actually about you, they're about them.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: They're about their own feelings, their own insecurities, their own conditioning, their own specific expectations.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: Here are the biggest reasons why people react to your food choices.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: It may highlight their own insecurity.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: Your intentional choice, whether you're eating salad or you're eating stuffing, can make them think, ugh, should I be doing that?
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: So their comment, wow, you're being so good today, may really mean I kind of wish I felt in control today.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: So think about that.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: And hopefully approaching that with and considering that comment with a little bit more compassion.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: So another thing to consider is that they crave belonging.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: Holiday meals are all about bringing people together and bonding and tradition.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: So when you choose a little differently than some people expect you to choose, certainly if things have changed or if you have new goals and are choosing differently than you may have in years past, some people interpret this as you're breaking the ritual.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: They may also interpret your choice as some level of judgment.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: So even when you're literally minding your own business and eating the food on your own plate, they may think that you're judging their choices.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: So they might get defensive.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: So just understand that.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: And let me give you an example, thinking, I know what I should be doing, but I'm not doing it.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: And now you're doing it, and now I feel uncomfortable.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: So they comment to relieve their discomfort.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: Another one could be some level of envy or jealousy disguised as sarcasm.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, look at you being all healthy.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: Have I heard that before?
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: Translation, I wish I had your discipline.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: They may also feel out of control.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: Food is an emotional regulation for a lot of people.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: And that doesn't mean that those people may be wrong or broken.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: Not at all.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: We are all beautifully and wonderfully made human beings.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: And we're here to experience life in its fullest form and go through all the ups and downs and be able to deal with the challenges in front of us.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: So your calm approach may stir up some level of shame or fear or helplessness within somebody else.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: So people may also lack awareness.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: So some people literally don't realize that their comments are rude or intrusive.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: I'm thinking of some family members in my family, but that's okay.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: They shall remain unnamed.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, maybe a little chuckle under your breath, as I was just doing, just thinking about those comments of like, oh wow, that was a really inappropriate comment, but I'm not going to say it out loud, just kind of smile.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: And then there may be some level of cultural or familial conditioning.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: So some families narrate every plate, this is what we do.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're not doing that, then you're breaking the script.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: Food for some folks and for a lot of folks means love.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: And in the sense that, especially with what is called a nutrition gatekeeper.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: So that might be if you're going to your mom's house for Thanksgiving dinner, she might be the one that is the one preparing a lot of the meal.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: And she is the nutrition gatekeeper.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: So you kind of have to know how to strategize around that.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: And if she is making the meal, that may be her intention of sending love to her family, albeit maybe in a little bit of a way that is not supportive of everybody around them.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: But declining a dish may feel like you're rejecting them or declining their love.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: And this can be especially true around the holidays.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: So now that we know why people make comments and how to have a little bit more empathy and compassion for the potential psychology behind it, let's talk about what some of the comments might be and some of your potential responses that can be confident, that can be kind, and can be clear and still maintaining boundaries and still aligning with your goals and your values.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: So let's say you are someone who is used to taking larger portions and you don't fill your plate very much.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: You're taking smaller portions because that aligns with you right now.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: You might hear, that's all you're eating.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: A potential response from you might be, this is where I'm going to start.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for noticing.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just listening to what my body needs today.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I would like cannot wait to try everything.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: Or everything looks amazing.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just starting small today can be a good response to that.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: Especially for uh, you need maybe the extra compliment or the extra love for that person who might feel like you're going outside of their particular boundaries, or that you're declining their offering of their food, which to them means you're declining their love.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: Here's another scenario.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: You tend to maybe, let's say you have just typically raved about the pecan pie every year and you always go back for seconds.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: And this year you don't.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: Someone might say, Oh, come on, it's the holidays.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: You can have those same calm, confident responses that I had mentioned earlier.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: Like, wow, that was so delicious.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so grateful for that pie.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just choosing to slow down a little bit right now.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: Or I've got some goals that I'm working towards.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: If you want to go there, because you might get some follow-up questions.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: If you're not comfortable with follow-up questions, then that may not be the appropriate response for you.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: Or you can say, man, I have just been so overwhelmed with how delicious this meal has been that I'm gonna make sure I'm gonna slow down right now and just digest for a moment.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for noticing.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: Or don't thank them for noticing.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: Either way, whatever feels right to you.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: All right, so let's say you're the one who oftentimes is getting a glass of wine or having beer or whatever and you're declining it this year.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's not aligning with your goals and your values.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: Someone might say, Oh, you're no fun tonight.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: And if you are someone who enjoys a light and friendly response and that works for you, can say, Well, hey, I'm trying something new today.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: Wish me luck.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: We'll see how it goes.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: Or it's all part of the master plan, at least that's what I'm telling myself.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: Or you can say, you know what, I just I don't feel quite up for that little bit extra.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just doing my thing today.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: Or it's just what I felt like today.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: Or I really appreciate you noticing, but I'm I'm feeling good right now.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: Another thing you can say is, let's just enjoy our time together.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: So here's another potential response.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: You choose something like the salad or the vegetables or the turkey, and you're maybe not usually choosing something that may not be often considered something healthy.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: Everything can fit in your diet, however.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: Generally speaking, everybody's a little bit different though, so which is why it's important that we're not judging.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: However, someone might say, Oh goodness, you're being so strict right now.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: So, again, a potential response is, oh wow.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: Again, I appreciate your concern, but I'm making food choices that are working for me right now.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: Or, oh, well, I appreciate you noticing.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: Let's just enjoy our time together.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: How was your day?
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: You know, so like change the subject.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: That can be another easy one that you can do.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: So here's a little mindset reset before you head into these holiday situations.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: So take a few seconds to remind yourself.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: So whether you are in the car or taking a walk prior to going to wherever you're going or on the plane or whatever, remind yourself and maybe even write this down.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: I would definitely encourage you to journal about this.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: My choices are mine.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: I don't owe anyone an explanation.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: I can be kind and still hold boundaries.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I choose presence over pressure.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: I love that one for certainly for me right now.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: I choose presence over pressure.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: So anchor yourself in your values, anchor yourself in your goals, and in how you want to feel, not only for one holiday meal, but for the entire holidays, and let everything else fall away.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: Holidays should be about connection and not commentary.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: You deserve to enjoy food, family, and traditions in whatever form or fashion that is right for you without feeling like you're interrogated.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: You can be loving and self-honoring, you can hold boundaries and be gracious and kind.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: And you can enjoy the heck out of the season without abandoning yourself.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: So if this resonated, certainly send it to someone who needs it.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: And stay tuned for some more holiday support episodes.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: You got this, friend.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: You are worthy, you are loved, and you are a beautiful and wonderful soul, body, and mind inside and out.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for listening to the Find Your Edge podcast.