Latest / Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot / Master the Mind 5/7 : The Discipline Behind Achievement: “Big results require the courage to drop small thinking.” #FinishStrongFriday

Transcript

Master the Mind 5/7 : The Discipline Behind Achievement: “Big results require the courage to drop small thinking.” #FinishStrongFriday · Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot

• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: Blessings, greetings, and welcome.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: You did it.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely, you did.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: You did it.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: You got to Friday.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: You made it through another week.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: Now, this is not just any Friday.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: As you know on the Sweet Spot, we call Friday what?
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we call it Finish Strong Friday.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: You've got to finish strong.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: You've been working hard all week, you've played the game, you've run the system, you've faced some challenges, you've overcome some obstacles, you've been grinding, you've been doing it every single day, and you've got yourself to finish strong Friday.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: You're here in the Sweet Spot.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Dr.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: Derek Sweet.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host here on The Sweet Spot.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: As you know, I'm a board certified psychiatrist.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: I work in high performance.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: But as I've told you all week, it's not about me working in high performance.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's about us, you and me, as high performing teammates in the game of life.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: And we are gonna finish strong today in the game of life.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna take a sip of my coffee right now.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: Mm-mm.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: That is some good coffee, Darcell.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: Shout out to the wife.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: Always a good thing.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: So it is Finish Strong Friday.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: And we have been doing a series here called Master the Mind.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: Mastering Your Mind.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: And to do that, what we've done, sweet builders, we have been looking at a book called As a Man Thinketh.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: It is one of the shortest books ever written that ended up shaping more than a century of personal development and performance thinking.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: If you haven't read this book, it's an easy read.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's less than a hundred pages.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: It was published in 1903 by an English writer, James Allen.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: I read it in college.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: It really helped me think through college.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's really influenced who I have become.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: This man, this author was no big celebrity speaker.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: He was not an academic philosopher.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: This was just a regular guy.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: He likes, he just wrote essays, and his whole thing was an inner life is really what's determining an outer life.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: And so he got this book as a man thinketh, and directly from the ancient wisdom.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: Let's rephrase that book today.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: As you and I think, so it is with us in our heart.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: What we think is literally gonna reflect what's gonna happen in our world often.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not saying it causes it, and that's not what this author is saying either.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: What he's saying is that the way you think, the way you and I think, our thoughts, okay.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: His argument his argument is uh James Allen, he argues that thoughts gradually solidify into habits, and that habits shape character, and that character influences the decisions that build the kind of life you have.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: So the arc is thought, character, circumstance.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: So whatever we're thinking and whatever habits we have inform the kind of character we're gonna be, and then how we're gonna interact with our circumstances, and there you have it, life.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: In his words, in James Allens's words, circumstances don't make the man, they reveal him.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: Circumstances don't make the woman, they reveal her.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: Circumstances don't make the person, it reveals the person.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: Circumstances don't make you, they reveal you.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: That line is why this book resonates with athletes, with leaders, with parents, with entrepreneurs, with doctors, lawyers, police officers, business individuals, because it makes sense that the circumstances are revealing who you are, not making who you are.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: Very, very important.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: And just before I dive in to finish strong Friday, I wanted to just go over with you the short chapters in this book if you're thinking of picking it up.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: I'm telling you, most editions are about 40 pages for this book.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: There's a chapter, I think the first chapter is called Thought and Character.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: There's another chapter called The Effect of Thought on Circumstances.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: The third is Effect of Thought on Health and Body.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: The fourth, thought and purpose.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: Remember on Monday we talked about thought and purpose linking.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: The fifth is the thought factor in achievement, followed by visions and ideals, and then serenity.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: So that's the structure of the book, and that structure actually maps surprisingly well onto all of the mental performance work that I do, and the mental performance work frameworks that many and mindset work, habit formation work, emotional regulation work, uh anything, goal direction, anything that deals with the mind.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: These chapters, thought and character, effective thought and circumstances, effective thought on health and body, thought and purpose, that kind of thing, visions, ideas, it all matters.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: And this author, although he was a quiet dude, his book really took off.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: It became a foundational text of all modern self-development literature.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: He didn't really live to see it.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: I think he died in his 40s.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: And it just shows you sometimes when you're planting things, you don't know the effect of your work down the line, what it will do.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: So his ideas now show up in sports psychology.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: What I do, sports psychiatry.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um, when you when I do visualization work or mental rehearsal work or attention control, I'm echoing this author's original observation that the mind rehearses life before life actually unfolds.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: So again, the book is not arguing that thoughts magically create reality because some people wrote me about that.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: Well, are you saying that the thoughts are creating the reality?
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: No, in this book, the author is observing something more practical than that.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: What he's saying is that the inner conversation you're carrying in your mind, that's shaping the decisions that you're making and the way that you're interpreting the world.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: That's why two people can, and this is what made the guy write the book, right?
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: He saw that he he was but he grew up in the, I think he was in England or someplace like that, and he grew up uh in a way looking at individuals, two individuals facing the same thing had two different outcomes.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: And he realized it was how they were thinking, it was the inner conversation that people carry quietly that was shaping the decisions they make and the way they interpret the world.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: So that's the key.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: And the whole point of the book is that he ends the book, the final chapter of this book, ends not with like a hype thing, it ends with this serenity, this calm, this peace.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: He actually wrote it this way: calmness of the mind is one of the most beautiful jewels of wisdom.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: And this idea of the calm mind, the peace of mind, that mirrors, for those of you that are into stoics, that mirrors the stoic's pursuit of equanimity and calm.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: It mirrors the Buddhist pursuit of inner stillness, it mirrors the Christian idea of my peace I give to you, the peace that surpasses understanding.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: So, in other words, James Allen in this book takes the goal of mastering thought not just as an achievement, but as it a way to peace, a way to joy, to clarity, discipline, and to having a steady mind.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: So that's the review of this incredible book, As a Man Thinketh.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I hope I got you interested enough to pick it up and thumb through it.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: You will find that his writing is clear and really, really powerful.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: You will not be disappointed.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: I promise you, on Finish Strong Friday, here you won't be disappointed.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: And look, that was a lot for me to tell you about the book, but I felt like we had to do it.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: So let's talk very quickly about finishing strong because this is finished strong Friday, and I owe you something about finishing strong.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's Friday.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: It's Friday, and for a lot of people, Friday feels like a finish line.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: But here's the truth for most people, Friday is where they stopped, not where they finished.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: They ran hard Monday through Thursday, and then quietly let go of the thing they said that mattered.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: They let go.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: So today, today on Finish Strong Friday, we talk about what separates finishers from everyone else.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: Because you, my friend, are a finisher.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: We are finishers.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, you and I are high-performing teammates in the game of life.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: And today is Finish Strong Friday, and we're holding on to each other and we're gonna finish strong.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: Today, we're talking about what separates finishers from everyone else.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I promise you, it's not talent, it's not luck, it's not even ability.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: You know what separates um a finisher from everyone else?
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's a decision.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: It's a choice that they make.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: It's a decision you make to be a finisher.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: So you can stop right here with me, right now.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: Right here, right now, you say out loud, I have made the decision to finish.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: I have made the decision, I'm making the choice to complete this.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: That's my decision, that's my prefrontal cortex talking to you.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: You get it?
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: Because finishers, they have an anatomy too, you know.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: What is an what is what is the anatomy of a finisher?
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: What do they look like?
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: They don't always look like a hero.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: They don't always have to feel strong.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: That's just one of the biggest.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: Don't let the media just tell you what a finisher should look like.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: Some of the the frailest-looking people are actually finishers.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: Most finishers they will tell you that they felt like quitting.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: They just didn't.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: They just didn't do it, but they felt it.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: Calvin Coolidge, the 30th president of the United States, wrote what may have been one of the most powerful paragraphs I have ever seen written about persistence.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: I've had this all through college.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know who gave it to me.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: It might have been my dad.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: And look, this one, this quote, I'm just gonna read it out to you.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: It you're gonna like this on it says this.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just I'm not even gonna here's it.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: Here's the quote: Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_00: Talent will not.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: Genius will not, because unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's everywhere.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: Education will not.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: The world is full of educated derelicts.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: Persistence and determination alone, alone, are omnipotent.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: The slogan, press on, has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: That's the quote that I had from my dad in college.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: God rest his soul.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: I love you, dad.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: So look, why did my dad give me that?
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: Talent won't do it, genius won't do it, education won't do it, persistence alone is omnipotent.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: That word omnipotent means all powerful.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: Calvin Coolidge, your president is saying that the most powerful force available to any human being, outside of God, I just had to say that.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: That look, it doesn't matter how smart you are, it doesn't matter how talented you are, it doesn't matter how gifted you are, it doesn't matter how zippy and impressive you are, you should not quit.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: You have to be persistent, you have to have this level of dogged persistence, and that is the difference.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: That is your power, is your persistence.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever you're facing today, sweet builder, whatever you're working through, whatever is not working, whatever obstacles in your way, make sure that you have persistence stamped on your forehead because that's what's gonna get you through.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, because let's be honest about why people stop.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's rarely because the goal is impossible, it's almost always because of a lack of persistence.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's almost always because this the discomfort of continuing felt greater than the pain of quitting.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_00: So quitting felt like relief, and it feels like relief until it doesn't.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_00: Winston Churchill understood this in war and in life.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: What did he say?
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: Success is not final, failure is not fatal.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: It is the courage to continue that counts.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_00: Success is not final.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: Failure is not fatal.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_00: It is the courage to continue that counts.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: What are you facing today?
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: That you need courage to continue.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: You're an athlete with a torn ACL and you're wondering, will I ever compete again?
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_00: Will this injury take me out?
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're an artist and you got rejected for the 15th time and you're wondering if your work has any value should you continue being an artist?
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: Are you a business person who launched a product and it failed?
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: And you're the laughing stock.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're a student and you failed an exam, and you're wondering if you're smart enough.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're grieving and you're wondering if you could ever find joy ever again.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_00: None of these things are final.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_00: The only thing that makes them final is the decision to stop.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: Don't stop, keep going.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: Alfred Lord Tennyson is one of the greatest thinkers that I have read.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: And he has one of the greatest lines in all of English literature.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I almost call it like the finisher's creed.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_00: You know what it is?
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: It's a very simple line.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: I love it.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_00: To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_00: That's got to be in your DNA.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_00: Four verbs.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: Strive, seek, find, yield.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: Don't yield.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_00: No excuses.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_00: That's the finish's DNA.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: So you've been listening to The Sweet Spot.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_00: We've been going in on this book, as a man thinketh.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: We've been saying Master of the Mind.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_00: And we're in Finish Strong Friday.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's not that people you don't have, and listen, as we close this out, here's what most people misunderstand about finishing, right?
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_00: They think that finishers are people who never slow down, that you have to keep grinding.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't want to give you the wrong impression.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to power through everything at full speed all the time.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_00: That is not what I'm trying to push here at all on Finish Strong Friday.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_00: What the real secret is, is to stick with it, to hang in there with it.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: One of my favorite people, Albert Einstein.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_00: Not that we knew each other or anything.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_00: I call him favorite people.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know him.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, he's gone and he's a genius.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: And well, yeah, you know, I just like to read.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_00: I like to.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_00: And Albert's greatest um quote to me is this it's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_00: Stay with it.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_00: That's the message.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_00: Stick with it.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_00: You stay with it longer.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_00: If it was good enough for a genius, it's good enough for us.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: Stay with it longer.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_00: Not smarter, he's not more talented, not longer.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_00: No, you should stick with it.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_00: Persevere.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_00: And today is quote date for me.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_00: I guess I'm just quoting.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: Let me end with this.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: Aug Mandino, uh, he wrote a book called The Greatest Salesman in the World.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: I I I I know I keep I read a lot in college.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_00: I wish I could read more these days.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_00: But this is a book that's really stayed with me, and maybe we'll do this another week called, and I'm gonna close with this.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_00: The um The Greatest Salesman in the World, what a book! I loved it.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_00: Written by OG as an original gangster, but that's not what it stands for.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_00: His name is Og, and the last name is Mandino, M-I-D, M I M A N D I N O.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_00: So Aug Mandino wrote this book, and there's a quote from it that I have to put into Finish Strong Friday here for you.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_00: The quote is this, and it's from the greatest salesman in the world.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna love this quote.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_00: I will persist until I succeed.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_00: Always will I take another step.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_00: If that is of no avail, I will take another and yet another and yet another.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_00: In truth, one step at a time is not too difficult.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_00: I know that small attempts repeated will complete any undertaking.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_00: What a quote! Another great book, the greatest salesman in the world.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_00: One step at a time is not too difficult.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_00: Small attempts repeated will complete any undertaking.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_00: That's worth its weight in gold here on Finish Strong Friday.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_00: You and I need to take some small attempts.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_00: Repeat them, and we'll complete whatever is in front of us.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_00: Are you a retired person building a new chapter?
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_00: Are you a grieving person trying to rebuild a life?
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_00: Are you a student grinding through a difficult semester?
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're an athlete you're rehabbing from an injury or a rep.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're looking for work and you're still inside of this grind.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to see the whole staircase.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_00: Just small attempt, repeat it, and you will complete the undertaking.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_00: You're not made for defeat, says Ernest Hemingwee.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_00: You you can be destroyed, but you can never be defeated.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_00: You you can be knocked down, you can be broken up, you can lose everything that you thought defined you, but you cannot be defeated unless you agree to it.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_00: Obstacles cannot crush you.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_00: Leonardo da Vinci puts it this way.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_00: Obstacles cannot crush me.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_00: Every obstacle yields to stern resolve inside of me.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_00: And he or she who is fixed to a star doesn't change his or her mind.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_00: Fixed to a star.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_00: That's the image I want to leave you with today on Finish Strong Friday.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_00: The athlete fixed to a championship Pro Bowl setup.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: The artists fixed to the masterpiece they're creating, the professional fixed to the legacy they're building, the parents fixed to making sure their family's future is right.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_00: Fix yourself to your star and don't change your mind.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_00: For science, for soul, and for success.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_00: You've been listening to this sweet spot.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_00: You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated.