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110 - Forge an Ironclad Mind: How to Build Mental Toughness That Lasts · Getting After It

• 0:00
  Brett: Hey everyone, welcome to today's episode.
• 0:02
  Brett: We're diving into something pretty big today mental toughness.
• 0:06
  Brett: I know you're thinking okay, mental toughness that's for Navy SEALs, that's for Olympians, that's for people who really they do tough stuff Wrong.
• 0:14
  Brett: Mental toughness is for you, mental toughness is for me and it's for anyone who's ever set a goal and hit a wall trying to get there.
• 0:23
  Brett: And so, whether you're grinding through a fitness journey, you're chasing a promotion at work or just trying to become a better person, mental toughness is the secret sauce that keeps you in the game.
• 0:34
  Brett: So with that, let's get into it.
• 0:36
  Brett: All right, let me paint a picture for you guys real quick.
• 0:44
  Brett: I love painting pictures and using words.
• 0:46
  Brett: Words are amazing.
• 0:47
  Brett: Because of that, let me paint you a picture.
• 0:53
  Brett: A few years back, I decided to run a marathon.
• 0:57
  Brett: Surprise, I wasn't a runner, though my only cardio at the time was typically from my car to work.
• 1:04
  Brett: I wasn't some big active guy.
• 1:06
  Brett: I wasn't a big runner and definitely not anywhere near where I am today in terms of, like, the mileage that I can do.
• 1:12
  Brett: And I set the goal like I wanted to do it.
• 1:16
  Brett: But, holy hell, was the training hard Like I remember.
• 1:20
  Brett: There were some days where I would wake up and say why am I doing this?
• 1:25
  Brett: As I'm lacing up my shoes, like what is the whole purpose of this?
• 1:28
  Brett: I'm just I feel like I'm beating myself.
• 1:30
  Brett: I'm just pounding my joints together and getting so tired, so fatigued, like this is tough.
• 1:39
  Brett: I remember having these thoughts, but I kept going, one miserable step at a time sometimes.
• 1:44
  Brett: But I kept going.
• 1:45
  Brett: One miserable step at a time sometimes, but I kept going.
• 1:47
  Brett: And it wasn't until that I crossed the finish line that I understood really what the whole point of running a marathon was.
• 1:58
  Brett: It was mental toughness.
• 1:59
  Brett: Yes, my body had to get trained to run those miles, but at the end of the day it was all mental toughness.
• 2:06
  Brett: Like it's not about seriously being like unbreakable or, you know, being in some Hollywood movie montage where in the last episode I talked about Rocky.
• 2:18
  Brett: Like you're not in a Rocky cut scene cutscene.
• 2:27
  Brett: Like mental toughness to me and to others is about showing up when you don't want to, day after day, even when there's no results.
• 2:31
  Brett: Do you know how hard that is?
• 2:32
  Brett: It sucks, but that is what mental toughness is all about.
• 2:37
  Brett: Like it's grit, it's perseverance and it's keeping your eyes on the prize when everything is telling you to quit.
• 2:46
  Brett: Here's the kicker, though.
• 2:47
  Brett: It's not some gift you're born with.
• 2:49
  Brett: I don't think people are just born mentally tough.
• 2:52
  Brett: It's instilled into them and ultimately it has to be a choice that you bring to fruition yourself.
• 2:58
  Brett: It's a skill that you can build.
• 3:01
  Brett: Anyone can become mentally tough.
• 3:02
  Brett: If you don't believe me, think of David Goggins.
• 3:06
  Brett: David Goggins was this 360 pound guy who was spraying for cockroaches, didn't have a great life, he would always binge eat and he wanted to be a Navy SEAL.
• 3:18
  Brett: That's a tough road to go down from 360 pounds out of shape to becoming a Navy SEAL, and yet he did it.
• 3:27
  Brett: And he had to go through hell week three times in order to do it, but he still did it.
• 3:33
  Brett: Like you can call him crazy, but if that's not a great example of what mental toughness is, I don't know what is, because that's coming from literally zero to 100, real quick, and like.
• 3:50
  Brett: I want to break down the science of this, how it works and, most importantly, how you can start forging it in your own life and becoming a little bit more mentally tough.
• 3:56
  Brett: There's a study done from Angela Duckworth which we'll get into today and we'll pull some ideas from James Clear because he has a great article on this on his website.
• 4:08
  Brett: But I want you to think for a second.
• 4:11
  Brett: When was the last time you faced something very hard and then ask yourself did you push through or did you tap out?
• 4:20
  Brett: Hold on to that thought, because it's gonna matter a little bit later.
• 4:25
  Brett: And, like I think, mental toughness, it literally it comes from one point in your life.
• 4:32
  Brett: This happened to me, so I'm speaking for myself here, but it came from one point in my life where I had to decide to either be fearful or to take a chance, and with a marathon, that's a great example.
• 4:44
  Brett: Like, there's a lot of fear that goes into a marathon.
• 4:47
  Brett: If you've ran one, you know that 26.2 miles can seem very daunting, especially when, like, everyone's super hyped up and you have to run against these guys who have ran marathons their entire lives.
• 5:00
  Brett: That's what it seems like, at least, and mental toughness is a decision.
• 5:05
  Brett: I firmly believe that.
• 5:07
  Brett: But you have to make the choice every day to be mentally tough Because, like I said, you have to commit to staying with something day after day, with no indication of any results or no indication of reward.
• 5:21
  Brett: Fight the battle, stay in the fight.
• 5:24
  Brett: Let's get nerdy, because I love talking science.
• 5:29
  Brett: So we're going to talk about science, because this isn't just good feel good fluff stuff.
• 5:33
  Brett: This is real, it's legit.
• 5:35
  Brett: And so, going back to Angela Duckworth, she's a psychologist at University of Pennsylvania who's obsessed with grit.
• 5:43
  Brett: I think she's written a couple books on this, but her word for mental toughness is grit.
• 5:48
  Brett: She defines it as perseverance and passion for long term goals, and her research backs up this matter, which we'll get into.
• 5:55
  Brett: So picture this for a second West Point Military Academy very prestigious, especially in the military, but every year about 1,300 candidates roll in and they get hit with beast barracks, which is like a brutal initiation that they do.
• 6:12
  Brett: It's like boot camp, but boot camp on steroids.
• 6:15
  Brett: It's almost like a hell week in a sense, but it's designed to break you physically, emotionally and mentally.
• 6:22
  Brett: It's a really tough thing, super interesting though you should go, look at it.
• 6:26
  Brett: But you'd think that these jacked dudes and these super smart people because if you're going to West Point, you have to be both Not jacked, but you have to be smart at least You'd think they'd be able to get through it, right?
• 6:37
  Brett: Nope, during her study, she studied over 2,400 candidates, tracking everything like their SAT scores, their high school rank, their physical fitness levels, what their leadership style was, everything Guess what predicted who'd make it through?
• 6:56
  Brett: Not brains, not how big they were, but it was grit.
• 7:01
  Brett: And so she built this thing called the grit scale, which measures how much you stick to stuff, and by her terms it's the golden ticket for learning about grit.
• 7:11
  Brett: And she saw that this thing, this, the same pattern at other iv leads league schools um, grittier kids seem to have higher GPAs, even with a lower SAT score.
• 7:26
  Brett: And it's super interesting.
• 7:29
  Brett: Like she just researched all this stuff, she applied it to like the National Spelling Bee.
• 7:35
  Brett: But it's interesting because the pattern is clear Mental toughness beats talent when talent doesn't work hard.
• 7:43
  Brett: And here's why I thought this was beneficial and interesting to study.
• 7:46
  Brett: We've all met that person, the one who's not necessarily the smartest or not necessarily the strongest, but they won't freaking quit.
• 7:54
  Brett: They're like a little bulldog, they just keep coming back for more and they're the ones who end up on top Duckworth.
• 8:01
  Brett: She dug a little bit deeper and she interviewed elite performers, but like different performers so bankers and doctors, artists, lawyers and she found the same thing the best weren't always the most gifted out the gate, they were the ones who kept on swinging, who kept on getting back up when they were beat down, like they just didn't stop.
• 8:23
  Brett: They wanted something so bad that that was their entire purpose was to accomplish it.
• 8:30
  Brett: And so what does this mean for you?
• 8:31
  Brett: You don't need to be a genius or a genetic freak to win.
• 8:34
  Brett: No, because mental toughness is the great equalizer.
• 8:39
  Brett: It's about consistency.
• 8:41
  Brett: Consistency truly is something that should be practiced.
• 8:47
  Brett: Like it sounds weird to say, but you should practice on being consistent with the things that you agree to do with your job, your fitness, your family, like.
• 8:59
  Brett: Be consistent with showing up to each of those things Because ultimately, you'll reap rewards for it and you'll get better.
• 9:07
  Brett: But you need to show up when it's boring, when it's tough or when it's straight up sucks, like when I was running and I had to do like my first ever 16 mile run outside on a Saturday, I was like what the hell, how is this a training run Like this is a half marathon, what the heck and that's the thing is you just have to keep on swinging and I had to tell myself that I was committed to this marathon and if I didn't get this run in, my performance would be affected.
• 9:37
  Brett: I'd probably struggle a little bit more, but that mental toughness is something that I was able to train, and so think about that for a second.
• 9:45
  Brett: Have you ever seen someone in your life who wasn't supposed to succeed but they did?
• 9:51
  Brett: Like someone from high school who you never thought much of, but they fought through and now they're in a place that you're like, wow, I never saw that person getting to that point, like I'm sure you have.
• 10:01
  Brett: Maybe it's even you, but some moment where you it could have been, some moment where you just outlasted the odds, where you just kept pushing forward.
• 10:10
  Brett: Now, grit is something, like I said, it takes time to develop, but the more that you exercise that muscle it's like any other muscle in the body it gets stronger, it gets bigger and ultimately it can take on more strain.
• 10:25
  Brett: Like if you're lifting a 10-pound dumbbell and you're doing dumbbell curls, you know, the next week it might be 15.
• 10:30
  Brett: Your muscles can handle more strain and doing the same amount of reps, whatever, soon enough, you'll be doing 35s, 40s and you'll be a jacked dude If you're consistent and you keep training that muscle to take on more load progressive overload.
• 10:45
  Brett: You can do the same thing with grit.
• 10:47
  Brett: You can progressively overload grit and for you it could be.
• 10:52
  Brett: You know you go out for a mile run.
• 10:53
  Brett: The next day you should go for a mile and a half, just see if you can do it, and the next day you'd go for two.
• 10:58
  Brett: And if you can keep on showing up when it's hard and you're raising the bar on a consistent basis, then it's going to prove that you have grit, that you're mentally tough.
• 11:10
  Brett: Everyone needs a little bit in their life, a little bit extra mental toughness.
• 11:13
  Brett: For me, I noticed that there was a big shift in my mindset when social media came into the game.
• 11:21
  Brett: As weird as it sounds, but it was like something that was very comfortable to do.
• 11:25
  Brett: It didn't take much brain power to sit on social media and scroll, find funny memes, and it was like I was detraining my grit muscle.
• 11:33
  Brett: As weird as that is, but just like muscles in the gym, they atrophy and grits the same way.
• 11:39
  Brett: That's why you have to be consistent.
• 11:41
  Brett: That's why you must always ask yourself is this my limit?
• 11:45
  Brett: And if it's not, push forward.
• 11:48
  Brett: If it is, see if you can rise above it.
• 11:51
  Brett: Now, how do we practice mental toughness?
• 11:53
  Brett: Because you can train it, like I mentioned.
• 11:56
  Brett: But how do you actually train this thing?
• 11:57
  Brett: Well, you work it and it grows.
• 12:03
  Brett: That's as simple as I can get, but here's your playbook.
• 12:07
  Brett: I came up with about five things that I think are very helpful with developing mental toughness.
• 12:14
  Brett: These are things that I've used, a framework that I've used that's helped me.
• 12:17
  Brett: And so the first one is just having very clear goals.
• 12:19
  Brett: Like you need to know what you're aiming towards.
• 12:22
  Brett: You can't be tough if you don't know what you're aiming towards.
• 12:24
  Brett: Like you can't be tough if you don't know what you're fighting for.
• 12:26
  Brett: Like vague goals like oh, I want to get fit.
• 12:30
  Brett: Or like I want to start eating healthier those are trash goals.
• 12:36
  Brett: Like they're too easy.
• 12:37
  Brett: Like they're too easy to wiggle out of because they're not defined.
• 12:40
  Brett: So make it very specific.
• 12:42
  Brett: Like, say, I'm running a 5k in 90 days or I'm going to meal plan every Sunday and here's what I'm eating.
• 12:48
  Brett: Like write it down, set a deadline and then own it, because clarity is your anchor when shit gets really tough.
• 12:56
  Brett: If you know what you're working towards, it just gives you a little idea of where you're going to get to, what the reward's going to be, and you have to show up.
• 13:05
  Brett: But it has to be clear.
• 13:07
  Brett: You have to understand what your goal is and then just keep pushing, keep going towards it.
• 13:13
  Brett: Now, how do you build consistent habits?
• 13:15
  Brett: Because that's step number two is one you have to set clear goals and two, you need to set up consistent habits.
• 13:22
  Brett: Here's the truth.
• 13:24
  Brett: Mental toughness lives in the daily grind.
• 13:26
  Brett: It's those days when I didn't want to put on my running shoes, those days when I don't want to show up to work and I'd rather be in bed.
• 13:31
  Brett: But I know I have responsibilities and I know I have clear goals of where I want to get in my profession.
• 13:37
  Brett: And I would just say start small, like very small, okay.
• 13:45
  Brett: So if you want to work out, commit to 10 minutes.
• 13:48
  Brett: Commit to 10 minutes a day.
• 13:49
  Brett: That might not be very sexy, no, but it's all about stacking these wins, because consistency triumphs intensity every single time.
• 14:00
  Brett: It's amazing how many people aren't consistent nowadays.
• 14:06
  Brett: It might be harsh to hear this, but I firmly believe that this is the truth that people are just not consistent.
• 14:12
  Brett: They either want instant gratification or they want to have the easy solution, and you will consistently make the wrong decisions.
• 14:22
  Brett: If you're not trying to push yourself, if you're not trying to work towards your goals, you'll be making decisions and consistent actions that actually take away from what you're trying to accomplish.
• 14:33
  Brett: So if that truth rang in your ears and you felt that it kind of spoke to you, maybe you need to think about where you can be a little bit more consistent.
• 14:44
  Brett: But start small and work your way up, because progress fuels progress and if you're not fueling it it's going to atrophy.
• 14:54
  Brett: That grit muscle will atrophy, and you don't want that to happen because the activation energy to restart that and to get it back online is going to be so much more than if you were just consistent and Jocko talks about this with working out.
• 15:09
  Brett: He says you need to work out every day, you need to push yourself every day.
• 15:10
  Brett: And Jocko talks about this with working out.
• 15:10
  Brett: He says you need to work out every day, you need to push yourself every day.
• 15:13
  Brett: And he's like on the days when you can't, when you feel exhausted and you're absolutely beaten to a pulp, he says then go through the motions and that could mean just showing up and getting in just a small workout just to prove that you were able to get up and go do it.
• 15:30
  Brett: There's nothing wrong with that.
• 15:32
  Brett: In fact I think that shows strength because you recognize that, yes, you might be weak right now, but that doesn't mean you're going to stop working towards your goals, even if the work that you're putting in is not as great as it was the day before.
• 15:48
  Brett: Consistency beats intensity every single time, and if you believe that, then it becomes more of a journey than it does a deadline.
• 15:58
  Brett: So think about that for a second.
• 16:01
  Brett: That's number two.
• 16:02
  Brett: And number three is you need to embrace challenges and also embrace boredom, because success in anything in life is not always glamorous and sometimes it can feel like a slog.
• 16:15
  Brett: And James Clear, from his article he talks which I'll link the article in the show notes Because I think it's pretty long but it's worth the read.
• 16:24
  Brett: And James Clear talks about falling in love with boredom.
• 16:27
  Brett: Falling in love with boredom what?
• 16:33
  Brett: But he's right honestly, because think about this a guitar player the only way they can master the scales that they've done so many times is by keep to continue to do them.
• 16:43
  Brett: Like always, get your scales in.
• 16:45
  Brett: Maybe that's his exercise every single day, but it's it.
• 16:48
  Brett: It's hard Like you have to crank it, like for me.
• 16:52
  Brett: I like to write and sometimes when I write a blog post, I go through two to three drafts before actually coming to one and saying I'm proud of this one, I'm publishing it, but it's not fun, it's not the most exciting thing in the world, but it's something I enjoy doing and it's something I want to improve on.
• 17:09
  Brett: I want to get a become a better writer Eventually.
• 17:19
  Brett: I want to write a book and it has to come from you and you have to be okay with being bored and it's another muscle that you have to work and grit plays a huge role in that.
• 17:25
  Brett: Like sometimes when I'm on a run because I still run to this day I'm training for a race that's coming up in June, but when I'm on a run, sometimes I feel like my brain is completely dead.
• 17:34
  Brett: I always enjoy running, it's a great outlet for me, but there are some days where I'm just like this is so monotonous, like I'm doing the same thing that I was doing the other day, being yesterday.
• 17:46
  Brett: I run a lot and run every day.
• 17:47
  Brett: I try to at least six days a week and you have to be okay with the boredom and you have to try and make the most of it.
• 18:00
  Brett: We're not bored a lot these days and oftentimes when you're bored, that's when you have opportunity.
• 18:03
  Brett: Like you have the opportunity to think, to walk through your brain and to see you know kind of what's what's bothering you about the boredom.
• 18:10
  Brett: See you know kind of what's what's bothering you about the boredom.
• 18:14
  Brett: But great idea, great ideas, are often born out of boredom.
• 18:16
  Brett: Like that's how they're forged is just through having an idea.
• 18:20
  Brett: When you're bored, as weird as it sounds Like, think about when you're in the shower.
• 18:23
  Brett: You have some pretty cool thoughts.
• 18:24
  Brett: Right, you might have an invention where you're like I'm going to make a toaster that toasts pop tarts and then when they shoot out of the toaster it gets sandwiched together with Oreo cream.
• 18:39
  Brett: Like that might be your invention, but you had it in the shower.
• 18:41
  Brett: I just came up with that on spot.
• 18:43
  Brett: Um, I patented it.
• 18:45
  Brett: So don't take that idea from me, but find joy in the suck.
• 18:49
  Brett: When, uh, when we run team Tim, we have this quote on the front of our shirts that say embrace the suck.
• 18:58
  Brett: It's not a uh, it's not a new thing, that's been said, but I love that idea Embrace the suck.
• 19:05
  Brett: Embrace the suck.
• 19:06
  Brett: Because if you're able to embrace the suck, if you're able to stay in the valleys, then it makes summoning the mountain that much better.
• 19:17
  Brett: And when you get through whatever sucks and you come out on the other side and you're able to experience joy or happiness or fun.
• 19:27
  Brett: Like it's going to amplify that experience because you sat with the suck, you were bored for a while and now you're riding a ride at Disneyland I don't know, but it's going to amplify that experience, like humans are meant to feel and we're meant to have emotions.
• 19:44
  Brett: I'm I'm reading a book right now called um the dark age.
• 19:48
  Brett: It's the fifth book in the red rising series and there's this story about this guy.
• 19:53
  Brett: His name's ephraim.
• 19:54
  Brett: He's a drug addict and he uh, he gets hurt, he loses a limb, gets it replaced, and the place that he's staying they say, hey, you can't use zolidone anymore, which is the drug that he uses, and he's like what?
• 20:07
  Brett: But pretty much zolidone.
• 20:08
  Brett: The whole point of it is that he suppresses the drug that he uses and he's like what?
• 20:09
  Brett: But pretty much zolidone.
• 20:10
  Brett: The whole point of it is that he suppresses his emotions and his feelings and he's not allowed to like, feel the world.
• 20:14
  Brett: It's supposed to make them better warriors.
• 20:16
  Brett: When they're in battle they don't feel anything, but he uses it recreationally.
• 20:20
  Brett: Anyways, he's a drug addict and so these people that he's with, that saved him, that healed his leg.
• 20:24
  Brett: They're like you can't take zolidone anymore.
• 20:26
  Brett: And there's this great quote that the leader says to him.
• 20:31
  Brett: That goes life is meant to be felt Else, why live?
• 20:36
  Brett: Valleys make the mountains.
• 20:38
  Brett: That's pretty cool.
• 20:41
  Brett: I'll translate that into our lingo.
• 20:43
  Brett: But life is meant to be felt, why else live it's the only thing I really need to translate there.
• 20:48
  Brett: But it is true the valleys of your life, it makes the mountains.
• 20:53
  Brett: And so when you're in those low periods of times, recognize that you are in a low period and that it will get better and you will survive and become better for it.
• 21:02
  Brett: And it helps you develop that grit, that mental toughness to stay in the fight.
• 21:06
  Brett: Because, ultimately, if you're able to crawl through a valley maybe it's full of mud, there's bugs everywhere, there's mosquitoes biting your neck, it's humid, it's gross and then when you summit that mountain, the view up there is going to be much better, you're going to have fresh air, you're going to feel the sun on your face, it's going to be beautiful.
• 21:27
  Brett: But it's all because you were able to stay in that Valley so long that you made it to the trailhead and got all the way up the mountain.
• 21:36
  Brett: Ask yourself, can you stick with it when it's not fun.
• 21:38
  Brett: I got to be honest Sometimes doing this podcast is not fun.
• 21:42
  Brett: It's a lot of work.
• 21:42
  Brett: I have to prep outlines, I have to take time out of my day to actually record, which I enjoy doing, so don't think it's a bad thing, but it's a lot of work that goes into it.
• 21:53
  Brett: Then I have to edit it, then I have to publish it, then I have to post about it Like it's a, it's a second job, but it's something I enjoy.
• 22:00
  Brett: And on those days when it's not fun, when it's not super exciting, I just remember what I'm trying to build.
• 22:05
  Brett: And it's a platform where I'm able to inspire others to take a chance on themselves, to push their limits and to see what they're capable of.
• 22:13
  Brett: Because my life has changed so drastically, because I wanted to see what I was capable of doing and it came from one choice.
• 22:24
  Brett: But I had to commit to that goal and then, when I did, I recognized that maybe that's not my limit and I can push it just a little bit further.
• 22:34
  Brett: So ask yourself if you're in that moment, if you're in that time where you know you need to find something to push you be honest about it and find out.
• 22:42
  Brett: Whatever that is Now.
• 22:44
  Brett: Number four is commit.
• 22:46
  Brett: Like your life depends on it.
• 22:47
  Brett: So I found this interesting story.
• 22:50
  Brett: It's about the marathon monks of Mount Hiyai, I think that's how you say it.
• 22:56
  Brett: The marathon monks Okay, get this.
• 22:59
  Brett: So these dudes in Japan.
• 23:00
  Brett: They run insane distances, like marathons daily for seven years.
• 23:05
  Brett: After a hundred days, it's do or die.
• 23:08
  Brett: Like they finish or get out of the group.
• 23:12
  Brett: Is that extreme?
• 23:14
  Brett: Yes, like that's insane.
• 23:17
  Brett: But the lessons, the lesson itself, is gold, like commitment kills excuses and you don't need to be a monk.
• 23:25
  Brett: I'm not saying you need to be a monk, but you need to lock in.
• 23:27
  Brett: You need to lock into that goal.
• 23:29
  Brett: Tell other people about your goal.
• 23:31
  Brett: Like make sure they hold you accountable and set a schedule and burn the boats.
• 23:37
  Brett: What I mean by that is don't look back.
• 23:41
  Brett: If you have a goal in mind, take one step every single day towards it.
• 23:44
  Brett: If it's important to you, you will make time for it and you will try to get better because you don't want to live a life of regret.
• 23:51
  Brett: Oftentimes we regret what we don't stick with.
• 23:55
  Brett: Quitting is so easy.
• 23:57
  Brett: It's the easiest thing you can do, especially when it's hard.
• 24:00
  Brett: But that's the exact moment that you need to tell yourself you're sticking to it and that you committed, and because of that commitment, nothing's going to shy you away from this goal.
• 24:11
  Brett: You are going to push, you're going to fight.
• 24:13
  Brett: You need to know that you're capable of doing more, because that's how confidence grows.
• 24:20
  Brett: And when you have confidence, your whole life changes, because you now don't look at life as a victim.
• 24:25
  Brett: You look at it as someone who's making changes and who's taking it by the horns and making their own story, making their own life.
• 24:32
  Brett: Your journey is unique, so treat it as such.
• 24:38
  Brett: Don't try and live someone else's life.
• 24:41
  Brett: No, this is you, the listener.
• 24:43
  Brett: I'm talking to literally you.
• 24:45
  Brett: Right now.
• 24:45
  Brett: I'm in your ears.
• 24:48
  Brett: So think about that for a second.
• 24:49
  Brett: What can you be doing to push and how can you commit yourself a little bit more?
• 24:55
  Brett: Does that look like?
• 24:56
  Brett: Maybe you write sticky notes and put it on your bathroom mirror so you always see it every single day to say, hey, remember your goal.
• 25:04
  Brett: It could be let's take the guitar guy, for example.
• 25:07
  Brett: Go through your skills.
• 25:08
  Brett: Maybe you take that, write it on a sticky note, slap it on the mirror.
• 25:10
  Brett: So every single day you are reminded hey, you know what I need to take some time to work on my skill, to work on what I'm getting after.
• 25:18
  Brett: Make it easy for yourself, but commit to it.
• 25:21
  Brett: Put a reminder on your phone every single day.
• 25:24
  Brett: Commit to the goal.
• 25:25
  Brett: Stay the course.
• 25:28
  Brett: Number five is very important, though.
• 25:29
  Brett: It's staying flexible, because don't get it twisted.
• 25:33
  Brett: Mental toughness is not blind stubbornness.
• 25:37
  Brett: It's not, it's adaptability.
• 25:40
  Brett: Life's going to punch you in the face Like your plans will fail, your injuries could happen, but toughness is pivoting.
• 25:52
  Brett: Without whining, without complaining, and if you're training for a race and you tweak your knee, then switch to swimming Like my.
• 26:04
  Brett: I'm so sad about this, but Nick Bear, I'm wearing a shirt right now, bear Performance Nutrition, not sponsored, but would love to be Nick Bear, please.
• 26:12
  Brett: I also wanted to run your backyard ultra marathon this year, but I didn't get drawn, so if you have an extra spot, nick, I'd love it, please, please.
• 26:24
  Brett: Anyways, nick bear, he, uh.
• 26:28
  Brett: He was originally running the grandma's marathon in minnesota, which is the race that I signed up for in june, and I was pumped because I wanted to race against him.
• 26:36
  Brett: He's a hero of mine.
• 26:36
  Brett: He's someone I really admire and look up to Like.
• 26:39
  Brett: He's built something very amazing with uh BPN and he's inspiring others to run.
• 26:46
  Brett: Like I don't think I've ever seen a um a group of runners like them.
• 26:52
  Brett: Like there's so many people out there who are running, who are doing hybrid training because of Nick and he is a hero of mine and so I was pumped to race against them and I was going to.
• 27:03
  Brett: I still am going to train really hard for this race because now I'm using it as a training run.
• 27:07
  Brett: But earlier this year he got hit by a car while he was out on a morning run and nothing really happened at that time.
• 27:14
  Brett: I think he had some issues with his hip or something, um, but the boy didn't get knocked down, while he did get knocked down, actually, but he got back up.
• 27:22
  Brett: So that's good.
• 27:23
  Brett: Anyways, um, a couple of weeks ago he posted that his ankle and his Achilles were were getting horrible, like he was feeling some serious pain in them.
• 27:30
  Brett: He posted a picture and it was like bruised and I um super swollen.
• 27:33
  Brett: And a couple of days later after that, he, after that post, he said I am dropping out of the grandma's marathon and I was a little hurt.
• 27:43
  Brett: Not going to lie, um, but Nick isn't someone who stops, and so he's like yep, I'm out of this race.
• 27:51
  Brett: So until that point, until I can run again, I'm going to just just train on my bike.
• 27:54
  Brett: And now he just posts all these videos of him on like a stationary bike, just getting after it in his garage.
• 27:59
  Brett: But he's committed to staying fit, he's committed to going one more and because of that he he adapted and he was flexible because leading up to this event he was like I'm gonna run a 230 marathon, I'm gonna run a 230 marathon, that's so fast, that's damn fast, like I.
• 28:13
  Brett: I'm going to run a two 30 marathon.
• 28:14
  Brett: I'm going to run a two 30 merit.
• 28:15
  Brett: That's so fast, that's fast.
• 28:17
  Brett: Like I was going to have to really push myself on this one.
• 28:20
  Brett: So I'm going for a two 45 and then, hopefully, when Nick's better, I can race and get to a two 30 and fight against him.
• 28:25
  Brett: All good competition.
• 28:27
  Brett: I don't have any beef with you, nick.
• 28:29
  Brett: In fact, you know, maybe, uh, maybe you want to hang out sometime.
• 28:33
  Brett: Just a thought, um, but I think it's.
• 28:37
  Brett: It shows that he was able to adapt and still get after it.
• 28:41
  Brett: Like that's mental toughness in its, I guess, full form.
• 28:45
  Brett: And he kept moving forward, just differently.
• 28:50
  Brett: Now, when I started this podcast, I had absolutely no clue what I was doing.
• 28:55
  Brett: I had crappy equipment.
• 28:57
  Brett: I think I filmed on my uh, just my laptop in my basement, so you'd see all my like family pictures behind me and all this random stuff, um.
• 29:05
  Brett: But I do remember I set a goal.
• 29:06
  Brett: I was like, hey, I'm going to do one episode a week, no skips, um.
• 29:11
  Brett: And sometimes I would just stare at the mic and say I've got nothing.
• 29:16
  Brett: I've got nothing.
• 29:18
  Brett: Or some days I'd be like I don't want to do this today, but I had to show up and I had to keep doing it because I committed to it and I record anyway because of that commitment and so that consistency built my mental toughness, at least on the podcasting front, and it's why you're still hearing me today, because there are days when I get discouraged or when I feel like I'm not getting my message across as well as I'd like and I beat myself up a little bit.
• 29:47
  Brett: But the important piece is that I don't stop, that I'm staying in the game.
• 29:50
  Brett: And, yes, there are some episodes that are clearly worse than others.
• 29:56
  Brett: Again, I will shout out episode eight Stan Watts Great guest.
• 30:01
  Brett: I love Stan, but we filmed it and recorded it all in auto-tune, so it's Brett Payne and Stan Payne instead of T-Payne recording a podcast that time.
• 30:13
  Brett: But again, another lesson learned.
• 30:15
  Brett: So you know, did it make me better?
• 30:18
  Brett: Yes, because now I know to check every single freaking time if I'm on auto-tune or not, and I'm not today, so that's good.
• 30:25
  Brett: But it is very important to stay flexible, like it's part of commitment, and when life throws you challenges, when it throws you roadblocks, when they show up in your, in your way, like figure out what you can do to just keep going and be adaptable.
• 30:42
  Brett: And uh, another good example of this is like when I go on work trips, I would say it's probably 162.3% harder to work out than when it is at home, because I'm out of my routine and usually I'm pretty tired mentally because I'm talking to people all day or I have late dinners.
• 31:03
  Brett: Like it's a hard thing to do, but I have to be flexible sometimes, and so sometimes I do need extra sleep in the morning and I'll work out at nighttime, or I'll have some space in the middle of the day.
• 31:13
  Brett: I'll go get a quick workout in and come back strong.
• 31:16
  Brett: Like you have to be adaptable, because that shows a lot of mental toughness, that you're still committed enough to the, to your goal that, when your routine gets flustered, you're still able to get the job done, and it's going to happen to you and it's going to happen to you.
• 31:35
  Brett: But this is where you come in.
• 31:40
  Brett: Think about what your grind is Like.
• 31:41
  Brett: Pick a goal, start a habit and stick with it.
• 31:46
  Brett: Don't buy the myth that tough people don't feel fear, because I feel fear all the time, but I push past it, I keep going.
• 31:52
  Brett: I feel fear all the time, but I push past it, I keep going.
• 31:59
  Brett: So doubts are normal.
• 32:03
  Brett: Doubts are very normal.
• 32:04
  Brett: Questioning yourself is very normal in your abilities.
• 32:09
  Brett: Quitting, though, is an option, and that's where I don't want you to.
• 32:13
  Brett: I don't want you to quit.
• 32:14
  Brett: Whatever it is you're doing, that you're a little unsure of the journey, that you're a little unsure of how you're going to keep going, don't quit.
• 32:23
  Brett: Figure out how you can adapt, figure out what you can do to adjust, and, from there, take one more step.
• 32:33
  Brett: So what is your move?
• 32:38
  Brett: Maybe it's a project you've been dodging, or a workout that you've been skipping.
• 32:40
  Brett: Could be a dream that you've put on the shelf for a while.
• 32:42
  Brett: Whatever it is, start small, stay steady, be consistent and watch what happens.
• 32:50
  Brett: Mental toughness is your edge.
• 32:54
  Brett: It's what separates the doers from the dreamers, and it's not about flexing through a crisis.
• 33:08
  Brett: It's about the quiet, consistent hustle every damn day.
• 33:11
  Brett: And I have some homework for you.
• 33:12
  Brett: Hope that's not a scary thing, but I want you to think about these five steps and how you can incorporate them into your life and ultimately work on your own mental toughness.
• 33:21
  Brett: So I have a homework assignment for each of these steps that we've talked about.
• 33:29
  Brett: So, number one pick one goal for the next three months.
• 33:33
  Brett: Make it crystal clear.
• 33:35
  Brett: That's number one.
• 33:38
  Brett: Two start one tiny habit to back it up.
• 33:41
  Brett: It's so easy, like make it so easy that you cannot flake it.
• 33:44
  Brett: You can't get out of this one.
• 33:46
  Brett: Three next time you want to quit, think why did I start?
• 33:50
  Brett: And then take one step.
• 33:52
  Brett: Do not quit.
• 33:54
  Brett: Quitting leads to a life of regret.
• 33:57
  Brett: Number four celebrate the boring wins.
• 34:01
  Brett: As silly as that might sound, you need to do it Like focus on the process over the prizes and celebrate the process.
• 34:11
  Brett: Number five when life shifts, pivot.
• 34:15
  Brett: When life shifts, pivot, don't pout.
• 34:19
  Brett: Don't say, oh poor me.
• 34:21
  Brett: No, if you do that, you won't develop mental toughness.
• 34:26
  Brett: You need to be strong, so pivot.
• 34:35
  Brett: And I want to reiterate that this isn't muscle Like.
• 34:37
  Brett: Flex it daily and it'll carry you further than you think.
• 34:38
  Brett: I've seen it in my own grind, in my own journey, whatever you want to call it, and I know you've got it in you too, because no one is born with mental toughness.
• 34:49
  Brett: It has to be trained.
• 34:50
  Brett: So what's your takeaway?
• 34:52
  Brett: Whatever it is, I'd love to know.
• 34:55
  Brett: Like you can send me a message on Instagram X, send me a message on my newsletter.
• 35:00
  Brett: You can sign up for that on my website.
• 35:02
  Brett: But I want to know, because, ultimately, mental toughness will be developed the more you work it and you will become a better person for it, and once you understand this, oftentimes that's where your journey starts.
• 35:16
  Brett: So take one step daily, make it crystal clear and do what you got to do.
• 35:21
  Brett: That's how you get mentally tough.
• 35:25
  Brett: I appreciate you for listening to this one.
• 35:27
  Brett: It's um.
• 35:27
  Brett: This is a topic that's become more and more important to me over the years because I've seen it in my own life.
• 35:33
  Brett: Important to me over the years because I've seen it in my own life, and before I wrap up, I'll give a quick story about team Tim I.
• 35:40
  Brett: Um, I was running this race and I was going after a relatively fast time.
• 35:43
  Brett: I was going to PR my half marathon but I didn't realize there was 33,000 people there, and so I uh started out pretty strong, um, but my challenge was I was running into so many people, like.
• 35:56
  Brett: There was one point where I was in the middle of the median, in the middle of, like on the strip of Las Vegas.
• 36:01
  Brett: It was very thick dirt, it felt like I was running in sand, and so my time started to falter because I was trying to pass all these people and I was trying to do all these things and, um, I was getting pretty mad and I looked at my watch and I was like there's no way I'm going to PR my half marathon.
• 36:17
  Brett: And instead of giving up and just being like whatever, screw this.
• 36:21
  Brett: I just pivoted and I was like I'm just going to have fun with this race.
• 36:24
  Brett: I ended that with a 136 half marathon and I was pretty proud about it.
• 36:29
  Brett: You know, I faced a lot of slow people in my way at the beginning.
• 36:34
  Brett: I'm not calling anyone slow, but there was just so many people that I had to pass through them and then I'd get fast and then someone would get in my way and I'd have to slow down again and then try and pass them, and I just had fun with it.
• 36:44
  Brett: But I didn't quit.
• 36:50
  Brett: And whatever thing is in front of you that you might think is incredibly difficult, I plead with you just to not quit, because you have something of value to add to the world.
• 36:58
  Brett: That's why the world's great.
• 36:59
  Brett: It's because everyone's different, everyone's working on their own things, but that's how we all benefit from each other.
• 37:04
  Brett: Develop that mental toughness in yourself and you will see yourself take strides you never thought was possible before.
• 37:10
  Brett: I appreciate it for listening.
• 37:12
  Brett: If this helped you at all, please share it with someone else.
• 37:15
  Brett: You might think you might need a little mental tough, pushed um.
• 37:18
  Brett: Reach out to me if you ever have questions, if you ever want to be a guest, but until next episode, everyone keep getting after it.
• 37:24
  Brett: Thanks, guys.