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205. Divorce Your Mindset · Your Enriched Self

0:00
Speaker 1: It's so important that you get in the right rooms,
0:03
Speaker 1: that you get in a better circle if you don't
0:06
Speaker 1: have one right now, because you are in proximity to greatness.
0:11
Speaker 1: But what are you experienced? What greatness is around you?
0:16
Speaker 1: If you are experiencing or in an environment that is
0:23
Speaker 1: leveling up the greatness and you're watching success, you're in
0:28
Speaker 1: proximity to that. And the contrary is true as well.
0:32
Speaker 1: I mean, you've heard the saying birds of a feather
0:34
Speaker 1: flock together, or if you are in a room with
0:38
Speaker 1: five broke people, you'll be the sixth to one. It's
0:42
Speaker 1: time for us to elevate, elevate the spaces you're in,
0:46
Speaker 1: the conversations you're having, the things you are exposing yourself to.
0:52
Speaker 1: Those small changes often put you in a better mindset
0:58
Speaker 1: to receive new information, new insights, and ultimately you start
1:03
Speaker 1: making new decisions, better decisions. Not that your decisions before
1:08
Speaker 1: were poor, but you have insights now that help elevate
1:13
Speaker 1: your decisions, and it puts you in a new realm
1:19
Speaker 1: of reality. Think about every step that you've taken to
1:24
Speaker 1: be where you are now. You had to create or
1:30
Speaker 1: put yourself in a new mindset. And even though you
1:35
Speaker 1: didn't say I got to put myself in a new mindset.
1:38
Speaker 1: You started moving differently, talking differently, engaging with new people differently.
1:44
Speaker 1: Those things matter. So if right now you find yourself
1:49
Speaker 1: in a position where you feel a little stagnant, you
1:51
Speaker 1: feel like things are moving slow, it's time for you
1:54
Speaker 1: to grow outside of the network you're in. And yes,
1:59
Speaker 1: it may mean that you have to find a mentor
2:02
Speaker 1: and you need to have some new people in your circle,
2:06
Speaker 1: but it simply may mean finding something else to read,
2:09
Speaker 1: going elsewhere outside of where you would typically go to
2:14
Speaker 1: get the information that you get. You know, a few
2:19
Speaker 1: years ago, I decided that I would not watch the
2:22
Speaker 1: news because it didn't matter what news station you watched.
2:28
Speaker 1: Each news station would cater their news cycle and the
2:34
Speaker 1: stories and what was the breaking news based on the audience.
2:40
Speaker 1: So a Fox News audience will get a completely different
2:45
Speaker 1: palette of news than someone on ABC or CBS or
2:50
Speaker 1: you name it. And when I realized that the people
2:56
Speaker 1: that like steak only ate steak, The people whose palette
3:01
Speaker 1: only cared for chicken, and I'm talking media here, only
3:05
Speaker 1: got chicken, and they never exposed themselves to anything different.
3:09
Speaker 1: So for the rest of their lives. This is exactly
3:14
Speaker 1: what they would get. This is what you're doing to
3:16
Speaker 1: your mindset. You're not opening your palette of insight and
3:21
Speaker 1: information to something new, and I challenge you to do
3:25
Speaker 1: that today. Hello, my friends from all across the globe,
3:47
Speaker 1: and welcome to your Enriched Self podcast. I am your host,
3:53
Speaker 1: Mylene Noir. I am an emotional wellness and empowerment coach.
3:58
Speaker 1: And what that means is I understand in this world
4:02
Speaker 1: where we are in the get up and go and grind,
4:05
Speaker 1: grind grind, we spend so much time getting things done.
4:12
Speaker 1: The one thing we don't do with intention is manage
4:16
Speaker 1: our thoughts. And that's what this platform, that's what I
4:20
Speaker 1: get to do each and every week, is to help
4:22
Speaker 1: you manage those thoughts. So we talk on this podcast
4:26
Speaker 1: about mindset, fusion topics, self care, soul care, anything that's
4:31
Speaker 1: going to help you show up as the best version
4:35
Speaker 1: of yourself in this world. So, if you are new
4:39
Speaker 1: to this podcast, I want to welcome you. I want
4:41
Speaker 1: to thank you, and I know that you were brought
4:44
Speaker 1: here on purpose for a purpose, and if you are
4:48
Speaker 1: a repeat listener, I want to thank you. I want
4:51
Speaker 1: to thank you because we are embarking upon four years
4:55
Speaker 1: of podcasting, and I could not have done this without
4:59
Speaker 1: you listen, And this journey isn't easy. The consistency you
5:03
Speaker 1: had to show up each and every week is absolutely
5:07
Speaker 1: heart warming and I want to thank you from the
5:10
Speaker 1: bottom of my heart. Now, before we get started with
5:15
Speaker 1: this week's episode, if you know, you know, one of
5:18
Speaker 1: the things I do on this podcast is I make
5:23
Speaker 1: a deposit into the bank of you, and I do
5:28
Speaker 1: that by way of affirmations. Affirmations are a great way
5:32
Speaker 1: to start your day and to command your mourning. And
5:40
Speaker 1: this week's affirmation is I honor my continuing evolution. I
5:49
Speaker 1: honor my continuing evolution. I honor my continuing evolution. Now,
6:02
Speaker 1: let's get ready for this week's episode of the Your
6:06
Speaker 1: Enriched Self podcast. You know, as I mentioned, I'm excited
6:15
Speaker 1: for the fact that we have been doing this podcast
6:18
Speaker 1: for four years. But there's a lot of things that
6:20
Speaker 1: have been exciting me lately. And being in rooms and
6:24
Speaker 1: being in spaces with conversations that are helping me elevate
6:28
Speaker 1: my mindset is so critical. I work in a business
6:34
Speaker 1: that encourages continuous education, and there's constant training and opportunities
6:40
Speaker 1: and I challenge you if you are not in an
6:43
Speaker 1: environment that you know invests in that level of development,
6:49
Speaker 1: whether it's self development or just to do the day
6:52
Speaker 1: to day work that you do. It's so important for
6:55
Speaker 1: you to find things outside of your day to day
6:58
Speaker 1: to ensure that you're getting better are at that work,
7:01
Speaker 1: but also getting better at the work of you. When
7:05
Speaker 1: I talk about the bank of you, listen, I understand
7:09
Speaker 1: how important it is to make deposits into your life
7:12
Speaker 1: so that you can become more of your and rich self.
7:15
Speaker 1: And so being in those rooms lately have allowed me
7:18
Speaker 1: to see myself and almost feel myself. If you will
7:22
Speaker 1: to be at that next level already, and I want
7:26
Speaker 1: to take you on that journey with me. I think
7:27
Speaker 1: you should also be on that journey. But in order
7:30
Speaker 1: to get to any next level, I don't care what
7:33
Speaker 1: level it is in your life, in your personal life,
7:36
Speaker 1: your professional life, your financial life, your spiritual life. Again,
7:40
Speaker 1: we talk about just about everything on this podcast, but
7:44
Speaker 1: no matter the level that you are trying to elevate to,
7:49
Speaker 1: there is going to need to be a divorce. See,
7:57
Speaker 1: you've married a mindset, you've been married to a mindset,
8:02
Speaker 1: You've married into a mindset, and that mindset has set
8:09
Speaker 1: you on a path where you have limitations, limits, and
8:16
Speaker 1: the places you would like to go, the places you
8:19
Speaker 1: aspire to be, you find it very difficult to get there.
8:25
Speaker 1: So today I want you to think of me as
8:27
Speaker 1: your attorney at law. I want you to think of
8:30
Speaker 1: about me as a judge, because I want to grant
8:33
Speaker 1: you permission to divorce the mindset you've been married to. Now,
8:39
Speaker 1: that mindset, like I said, has kept you small, especially
8:43
Speaker 1: if you are big and you're playing small. It had
8:48
Speaker 1: kept you safe, which means don't take any risks, stay here,
8:52
Speaker 1: don't ruffle too many feathers, and stagnant. You want to move,
8:57
Speaker 1: you desire to move, but you're in the same spot
9:00
Speaker 1: that you've always been in and it's time to walk
9:03
Speaker 1: away from those limitations. It's time for you to start
9:08
Speaker 1: saying yes to yourself. And so this week I want
9:13
Speaker 1: to harp on three key points to ensure that you
9:17
Speaker 1: get that divorce. We talk about elevation, we talk about
9:21
Speaker 1: the evolution of yourself. That's something that we all aspire
9:25
Speaker 1: for us to get to that next level, that next version.
9:29
Speaker 1: But you can't elevate when you're married to a mindset
9:33
Speaker 1: of limitations. If you are locked into a mindset that's
9:39
Speaker 1: full of fear, full of self doubt, or playing it safe,
9:45
Speaker 1: it will always pull you back to where you've been.
9:49
Speaker 1: The opportunity to go forward is not going to happen
9:54
Speaker 1: because you're not where you want to be, quite honestly,
9:57
Speaker 1: and that in itself is like being in a toxic marriage.
10:02
Speaker 1: When you think about people that get a divorce, it
10:04
Speaker 1: comes down to belief systems that are broken. This person
10:09
Speaker 1: believes this thing and the other person believes another thing,
10:14
Speaker 1: and those two things cannot exist together anymore. And you've
10:19
Speaker 1: outgrown the fact that you are willing to keep saying
10:23
Speaker 1: no when you should be saying yes to yourself. You're
10:26
Speaker 1: denying yourself, you're limiting yourself. You're keeping those limits around you.
10:32
Speaker 1: And to a certain degree, when you think about people
10:34
Speaker 1: who stay in it, they stay in it because they
10:36
Speaker 1: want it to stay comfortable. You know. They always say,
10:39
Speaker 1: I want to make it easier for the kids, I
10:41
Speaker 1: want to keep it comfortable. But really, all that's delaying
10:45
Speaker 1: is the inevitable, and quietly you're sabotaging the growth because
10:50
Speaker 1: the reality is there's no growth. There's no growth when
10:53
Speaker 1: your belief systems are broken when you're on two completely
10:57
Speaker 1: different sides of the coin. And that is the WrestleMania
11:03
Speaker 1: that you're having internally with yourself when you believe for
11:07
Speaker 1: your future, but your past is telling you, but this
11:10
Speaker 1: is how we've always believed. And so that marriage of
11:15
Speaker 1: what I want and where I am and what I've
11:18
Speaker 1: always known won't let you go, won't let you grow
11:21
Speaker 1: into the best version of yourself. So until you can
11:26
Speaker 1: call it what it is and let it go, you're
11:29
Speaker 1: never fully going to rise to the occasion of the
11:33
Speaker 1: version of you that's been waiting and is waiting for
11:38
Speaker 1: you right now, even now. So that's one of the
11:43
Speaker 1: key points I wanted to bring forward. The other one is,
11:47
Speaker 1: and this is something I have had conversations with people
11:51
Speaker 1: on your belief systems are Your belief systems are influenced
11:59
Speaker 1: by the activities that you do or don't do. There
12:03
Speaker 1: are people who don't go to church and they don't
12:05
Speaker 1: believe in God. That's because they grew up into an
12:09
Speaker 1: environment where that was never a priority, and they don't
12:13
Speaker 1: even know what they believe. They just never were in
12:15
Speaker 1: an environment to have a belief system about a higher power.
12:20
Speaker 1: And so your mindset was inherited. You didn't choose to
12:26
Speaker 1: think the way you think you inherited some of those things. Again,
12:31
Speaker 1: we're not growing up and our parents are standing at
12:34
Speaker 1: a chalkboard saying this is how you're gonna believe in,
12:36
Speaker 1: this is what you're gonna do. They're just living life
12:39
Speaker 1: out loud behind the four walls of your house. That's
12:44
Speaker 1: how the houses run. And so you take those values,
12:47
Speaker 1: you take those lessons, you take what you're learning, and
12:51
Speaker 1: you apply it in life in the world when you
12:53
Speaker 1: step outside the four walls. Most of us didn't consciously
12:59
Speaker 1: choose to believe what was handed down or inherited to us.
13:03
Speaker 1: It was passed down. It might be a friendship circle
13:07
Speaker 1: that you've always believed a certain way and you have
13:10
Speaker 1: kept that belief because you've kept the same friends. It's
13:14
Speaker 1: just like I was talking about at the top of
13:15
Speaker 1: the podcast, your circle. When your circle changes, you change
13:21
Speaker 1: because new perspectives are coming in. You have a new
13:25
Speaker 1: point of view that you didn't have before. If you
13:29
Speaker 1: are still hanging chilling, you know around the exact same
13:34
Speaker 1: people you've been your whole life, I'm gonna ask you
13:37
Speaker 1: to think again about where you are. I'm not saying
13:42
Speaker 1: it's impossible, because here's the thing. If those people are
13:45
Speaker 1: growing at the rate that you're growing, and you guys
13:48
Speaker 1: are all in a growth cycle, which is gonna be
13:50
Speaker 1: hard to do that with. You know. Again, in a
13:53
Speaker 1: marriage where there's two sometimes it's hard where you see
13:55
Speaker 1: people divorced because the growth cycles don't match anymore. So
13:59
Speaker 1: imagine a group of friends to ensure that all these
14:02
Speaker 1: people in your group are growing at a level that
14:06
Speaker 1: can sustain and get these new insights while your guys
14:09
Speaker 1: are growing together. That's healthy and that can work. But
14:13
Speaker 1: there are people in your life right now. There are
14:17
Speaker 1: people you know that have the exact same mindset, this
14:20
Speaker 1: exact same belief. They probably are working the same job,
14:24
Speaker 1: and they've done things the same way for the last
14:26
Speaker 1: twenty thirty forty years. And although that seems like, oh,
14:30
Speaker 1: that's consistency, that's consistency that keeps you in lack and
14:33
Speaker 1: limitations and it kills growth. So again, many of these thoughts,
14:40
Speaker 1: these belief systems have been passed down friends, family. The
14:44
Speaker 1: environment you grew up in is another place where you've
14:47
Speaker 1: seen things done a certain way. And again, your belief
14:50
Speaker 1: system is a process of the things you see, the
14:54
Speaker 1: things you do every day becomes how you believe about life,
14:58
Speaker 1: about anything in your life. The thing about it is,
15:03
Speaker 1: you know, I had this conversation with somebody a while ago,
15:05
Speaker 1: and I'm thinking, our parents meant, well, no one meant
15:08
Speaker 1: for you to be a limited person. Nobody said I
15:12
Speaker 1: want my child to be limited. So I'm going to
15:14
Speaker 1: tell them only what I know. Well, you can only
15:18
Speaker 1: I read this before. You can only grow as far
15:21
Speaker 1: as you've seen. And for some people, they've never traveled.
15:26
Speaker 1: When you think about some people, I've never gone outside
15:29
Speaker 1: of this state, or I've never taken a plane ride
15:31
Speaker 1: or whatever. And again, it doesn't mean that those people
15:35
Speaker 1: are not doing great and they're not doing well. It
15:37
Speaker 1: just says that if you want to grow, if you
15:39
Speaker 1: want to have a new perspective, you're going to have
15:44
Speaker 1: to explore. And a lot of times, our parents, because
15:49
Speaker 1: they want to keep us safe, they want to keep
15:51
Speaker 1: us close, and that keeping us close and keeping us
15:54
Speaker 1: quote unquote safe, cost us opportunity. And I have heard
16:02
Speaker 1: countless stories, I'm sure you have your own, of people
16:07
Speaker 1: who wanted to go a little bit further, who wanted
16:10
Speaker 1: to go to college outside of their state, who wanted
16:14
Speaker 1: to do these things outside of these invisible boundaries that
16:18
Speaker 1: were set for us to keep us safe. And we
16:22
Speaker 1: missed out on opportunities, and not just the opportunity to
16:26
Speaker 1: go to ex school or y school. You get a
16:29
Speaker 1: different level of growth when you're not under the wings
16:32
Speaker 1: of your mom and dad, under the wings of a
16:34
Speaker 1: caretaker or whomever. You start to grow your own wings,
16:38
Speaker 1: and you start testing those things out, and sometimes you
16:41
Speaker 1: realize they don't work. They don't work as well as
16:43
Speaker 1: you thought they did, they don't work as well as
16:45
Speaker 1: a model you saw on TV. But you keep testing
16:49
Speaker 1: it out and keep testing it out, and you figure
16:51
Speaker 1: it out, and you figure it out and you start
16:53
Speaker 1: realizing you're flying. But that can't happen when you have
16:58
Speaker 1: a mindset that's been inherited, that tells you your wings
17:02
Speaker 1: won't grow until you're thirty four, your wings won't grow
17:06
Speaker 1: until I tell you to write, and you start to
17:09
Speaker 1: believe that, and that becomes how you create a lifestyle
17:17
Speaker 1: of limitations. But today again, I want to be your
17:24
Speaker 1: attorney at LOON to help you change the story and
17:27
Speaker 1: reframe how you see your life. The final point I
17:30
Speaker 1: want to make is that ultimately the comfort zones, that
17:35
Speaker 1: these mindsets that we've been married to, those comfort zones
17:41
Speaker 1: are mindset killers. I want to say that again. The
17:47
Speaker 1: comfort zone is a growth killer. It feels good. Listen.
17:54
Speaker 1: I love a good comfort zone. I love a plush
17:58
Speaker 1: comfort zone. I love all the minute like the five stars,
18:02
Speaker 1: I love it. I think we all love that. But
18:05
Speaker 1: it's designed to be the five star. It's designed to
18:10
Speaker 1: keep you exactly where you are because you're not gonna
18:13
Speaker 1: leave a five star? Who wants when If you've ever
18:15
Speaker 1: gone to a nice hotel, a nice resort, a nice spot,
18:19
Speaker 1: you don't really want to leave. I mean, first of all,
18:21
Speaker 1: you spend a lot of money at that resort, and
18:23
Speaker 1: you want to take up as much time as you
18:26
Speaker 1: possibly can, But you want to stay because you're comfortable.
18:30
Speaker 1: Who wants to get a bing go? And that's what
18:34
Speaker 1: these mindsets do. They keep you comfortable. You don't have
18:36
Speaker 1: to learn anything new. You can stop. You know, if
18:39
Speaker 1: you did your K through twelve, hey, you're done, You're good.
18:42
Speaker 1: You don't have to learn anything else, right, And all
18:47
Speaker 1: that does is it stifles you. I'll say it again,
18:53
Speaker 1: I've said it before. Growth happens when you get out
18:56
Speaker 1: of the comfort zone. Going back to the exam your parents.
19:01
Speaker 1: For those of us who did go to school away,
19:04
Speaker 1: I made a lot of mistakes by myself, A lot
19:07
Speaker 1: of mistakes I didn't share with my mother at the time,
19:10
Speaker 1: a lot of mistakes I learned from and you know,
19:12
Speaker 1: good enough time. I had to learn that lesson once
19:16
Speaker 1: and twice and sometimes three times or four. But eventually
19:18
Speaker 1: I got it. Yeah, I figured it out. I had
19:21
Speaker 1: to stumble in some cases, I had to fall pick
19:24
Speaker 1: myself back up, you know, but I got it. But
19:30
Speaker 1: I would not have had the level of growth that
19:32
Speaker 1: I had had I not been in the environment. I
19:37
Speaker 1: was away from the comforts of home. And I know
19:42
Speaker 1: everybody likes the comfort food and it's great to have that,
19:46
Speaker 1: but it's also great to be and have those opportunities
19:50
Speaker 1: that you would not else have if you stayed where
19:54
Speaker 1: you were. It also requires you to embrace uncertainty. And
20:00
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you from experience, and I'm sure you
20:02
Speaker 1: have your own experience with being in uncomfortable zones, the
20:08
Speaker 1: discomfort of life. It is scary, it is scary, it
20:13
Speaker 1: is unfamiliar, it is uncertain, it is unchartered waters. It
20:19
Speaker 1: is the wilderness season where you don't know where you're going.
20:22
Speaker 1: You thought the directions were correct, but then you learn
20:24
Speaker 1: that you should have taken a right hand turn instead
20:27
Speaker 1: of listen. It is all of the things. But every
20:33
Speaker 1: time you challenge yourself, every time you challenge the belief
20:38
Speaker 1: and you take a risk, you are expanding your capacity.
20:43
Speaker 1: You are expanding your growth. You are finding new places
20:49
Speaker 1: to plant yourself again. Think about the person who had
20:54
Speaker 1: the opportunity to explore to travel. They're realizing, hey, I
20:58
Speaker 1: could do something like this in another state, and I
21:01
Speaker 1: could do it at a different level. Why don't I
21:04
Speaker 1: travel there? Why don't I take a risk going out there?
21:08
Speaker 1: Yeah I don't know anybody. Yeah I don't have any
21:10
Speaker 1: family out there. I just met somebody last week. But
21:13
Speaker 1: that's all I know. And some of you have gone
21:16
Speaker 1: to places I don't care if it's too A restaurant
21:20
Speaker 1: by yourself, the movies by yourself. Those are small steps
21:25
Speaker 1: of doing something by yourself, of trusting yourself, of realizing that,
21:29
Speaker 1: you know what, if I don't do this stuff by myself,
21:38
Speaker 1: I may be risking missing out on opportunities. I've heard
21:44
Speaker 1: so many crazy stories about people that had big plans
21:48
Speaker 1: with a friend group, right, and the friend group never
21:54
Speaker 1: leaves the chat. Right. So I see the good stories
21:57
Speaker 1: where people say, oh, we finally made it out the chat,
22:00
Speaker 1: meaning we've been planning and plotting and setting things up
22:03
Speaker 1: and itineraries and schedules and all of the things, and
22:07
Speaker 1: we are finally at the destination. But there have been
22:12
Speaker 1: times where you set something up with a small group
22:18
Speaker 1: only to realize that nobody can go. After all, how
22:23
Speaker 1: many of you are willing to go at it alone?
22:27
Speaker 1: I'm going to sheepishly raise my hand because there was
22:30
Speaker 1: a time in my life where I wouldn't do it.
22:33
Speaker 1: If nobody's gone, I'm not going right now, on this day, today,
22:37
Speaker 1: zero years old, today, I would absolutely do it. I
22:41
Speaker 1: would absolutely take that trip alone. I would absolutely do
22:44
Speaker 1: I've actually done a lot of things by myself, which
22:47
Speaker 1: is why I have this level of trust of myself
22:52
Speaker 1: to go outside of the comfort zone and know I
22:54
Speaker 1: will be okay. I may not be perfect. I know
22:58
Speaker 1: there's going to be uncertainties, but today I'm in a
23:01
Speaker 1: place where I can embrace that uncertainty. So today I
23:07
Speaker 1: simply want to give you, and I hope you have
23:10
Speaker 1: the permission to divorce. Divorce the mindset that has been
23:14
Speaker 1: keeping you stuck, stuck in a rut. The truth is,
23:18
Speaker 1: you're not going to elevate. You're not going to elevate
23:21
Speaker 1: if you are still married to limiting beliefs because that
23:25
Speaker 1: means you're never saying yes to you, and it's time
23:30
Speaker 1: to say yes to you. It's time to step out
23:33
Speaker 1: of that comfort zone. And that's the only way you're
23:38
Speaker 1: going to find your growth. You're going to be in
23:40
Speaker 1: that growth zone. You're going to create a new story
23:44
Speaker 1: so you can say no to the new, so you
23:47
Speaker 1: can say no to the old story and yes to
23:51
Speaker 1: your future. I hope you enjoyed this week's episode of
24:00
Speaker 1: the Urine Ritsub podcast. And the only way I'm going
24:03
Speaker 1: to know this is if you leave me some feedback.
24:05
Speaker 1: Feedback is a gift and it is free to give,
24:08
Speaker 1: and I would like to hear from you. I would
24:10
Speaker 1: like to know what resonated with you regarding this week's episode.
24:14
Speaker 1: Now here's how you leave feedback on the platform and
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Speaker 1: three to five people that you spoke with today. Also,
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Speaker 1: you can share this on your socials. You can find
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Speaker 1: those in the social streets what you're listening to and
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Speaker 1: what's feeding you mind, body and spirit. I also want
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Speaker 1: you to check out the show notes. In the show notes,
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Speaker 1: we have the affirmation of the week, the quote of
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Speaker 1: the week, and there you can also find my Amazon
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Speaker 1: shop that your rich self shop has two items right now,
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Speaker 1: a journal which is the show Up every Day Journal
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Speaker 1: as well as the show up everyday notebook, so check
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Speaker 1: those out in my Amazon shops. And finally, take what
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Speaker 1: you can from this episode and do what you must
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Speaker 1: in the next one hundred and sixty eight hours so
25:55
Speaker 1: that you can become more of your enriched self until
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Speaker 1: we meet again.