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Feeling Distant from God? How to Reconnect Through Prayer and Stillness · Still Well Podcast

• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, my friends, and welcome back to another episode of Still Well Podcast.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so glad you're joining me again today for what I hope is going to be another helpful and useful and also very practical episode.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Dr.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: Brooke Stillwell, the host of the Stillwell Podcast.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: So here we are again for another episode.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: And once again, I did not have a plan for this or anything planned out.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: And actually, I'm kind of enjoying that because it allows me to sort of be free with the topic and speak to things that have come up for me recently and kind of talk in real time with you.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: And this week in particular, it was a true blessing that I didn't have anything planned because today we're going to talk about something that one of the podcast listeners reached out to me about.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to thank you, first of all, Susan, for taking the time to even email me.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: And any of you that are listening to let you know that I do read every email that comes in and respond to them.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: So please feel free to reach out and contact me with any like questions or concerns, or if you want to have something addressed or talk about, don't hesitate.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: Even if it's just to say hi, I would love to hear from you.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: But Susan reached out and I want to read this email that she sent.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: She says, Hi there.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: I received your email about the loneliness podcast and made it my play next.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: It is so unbelievably relatable to me.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: Everything except acknowledging it's a call from God.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: I expect too much from people, unable to stand beside me the way I need them.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: I just can't figure out how to lean on him.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for the podcast.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to touch on this email.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I emailed Susan back and said the same thing to her as I was kind of giving her response.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: I said, and I was thinking, you know, I should just do a whole podcast to address this.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: Because if she's asking the question, how do we lean into God?
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: And that's been such a struggle for me in the past.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: Surely we're not the only ones, Susan and I, you know, dealing with this.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: And so I wanted to take an episode to break down what that looks like.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: How do we lean into God more?
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: And if you listen to last week's podcast on loneliness, sorry, by now it'll be two weeks prior because there's a different one coming out this week.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: But if you listen to that podcast, it was about loneliness.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: It was about friendships in this phase of life.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: It was about making better connections in this phase of life.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: But I also spoke a little bit about sometimes we find ourselves in lonely places or disconnected, or God removes people from our lives because he wants us to learn to lean on them less and on him more.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's what Susan was addressing.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like in that scenario, if God is maybe not always removing someone from your life, but just cutting back or or trimming that relationship a bit because he's wanting you to not lean so much on another person and lean more on him, what does that look like?
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: And that's a really good question.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm so glad she asked it because it's so easy for me to sit here and say, well, yeah, maybe you need to stop leaning on other people for your joy, whether that's friends or your spouse or your kids, and you need to lean more on God.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: But then the next question is, and it's very practical, okay, but how do I lean on God?
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's not like I, it's not like we visibly see him or we can take him to dinner and talk.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: I wish we could.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: How cool would that be?
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: But how do we lean on God?
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: How do we get closer to God?
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: How do we, how do we make that connection and find our joy in him?
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's what I want to break down with you in this episode today.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm really looking forward to doing that.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: Before we jump into that all the way, I wanted to just bring something up briefly.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I think now is the time to do it, that was on my heart this morning.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I just want to share it for you because I was so overcome and overwhelmed with emotion.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I know I am a little dramatic, but I really was over, like to the point of tears.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: This morning, when I read my Bible recap reading, and then afterwards, a little bit later, when I was doing my meditation and just kind of sitting with the Lord, and here's why.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to share it because I have a suspicion that some of you will be able to relate.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: I was reading this morning in 2 Chronicles 32 and 33, I think.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: It might have been 31 and 32.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: I can go back and check that for anybody that wants to know.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: But at any rate, it was about the life of towards the end of King Hezekiah's life, and then his son, King Manasseh.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: I hope I'm saying that right.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not a Bible scholar, so.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: But King Hezekiah was a king that was after God's heart, and he had taken down, this was at a time when Israel had already been taken into captivity.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: Jerusalem, Judah was still standing, but they were up and down with whether they were actually serving God, depending on the king, or they were serving idols and other false gods.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: But King Hezekiah came in and destroyed all of the high places and all the altars and, you know, built up the temple and just was really focused on serving God until the end of his life when pride took over.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: And then he is actually also the king that uh was healed by God and his life was extended by 15 years based on a prayer that he spoke to God.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: But that's not that to me is like amazing, and I love to hear about healing in the Bible.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: But what I want to really actually talk about is King Manasseh, who was his son.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: And King Manasseh ended up being a very evil king.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: And part of me read that as a mom, and like, oh my gosh, it's so scary because here was King Hezekiah, who until the end of his life was a feared God and followed God.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: And then how, you know, he ended up with a son who was one of the most evil kings, if not the most evil king in Israel and Judah's history to reign.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: And as a mom, I'm like, how do we stop?
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: That's one of my biggest fears for my kids, is them not knowing Jesus and not living their lives in a faith-filled way.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: So that's part of it.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: But the here's the biggest thing, because I'm getting off on a tangent.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: He was a wicked, wicked king.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: And when I say wicked, I mean like he killed and sacrificed his children for other false gods.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: He went to like seers and necromancers, people that were talking to the dead and did sorcery and was worshiping all kinds of false gods and just he, the Bible states that he was as evil as it comes.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: And to me, I mean, what worse is there besides sacrificing a child?
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: So to me, it's like just absolutely disgusting.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: And he ended up getting carried away and taken to Babylon.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: But while he was in Babylon, he turned back towards God and he asked for forgiveness and turned his face towards God.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: And do you know what God did?
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like, he didn't say, sorry, you've committed murder with your own kids, you've turned your back on me, you've worshipped other gods besides me.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: Probably they were demons.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: He didn't say any of that.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: He actually brought him to himself.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: He had compassion on him.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: He sent him, he got him out of captivity and sent him back to Jerusalem to reign again.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I just wanted to throw that out there to you guys for anybody who struggles with self-worth and whether or not God loves you, or whether or not the mistakes or the sins of your past or things that you have done or said is going to keep you from God, whether God really loves you, if you're questioning any of those things, because I have done that, you have no idea how much I have done that in my life on a regular and day-to-day basis still.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: And to read that and to go, my goodness, God had compassion and mercy on the most evil king in Israel's history, a king who killed his own kids and sacrificed them to demons.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: He had compassion on him when he turned to him and asked for forgiveness.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: So just wrap your brain around that for a second.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: How compassionate our God is is number one.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: And then number two, if you are seeking him and praying to him and reading his word and asking him to come near to you and you believe in him, you guys, there's nothing that is gonna keep you or me or any of us who are seeking the Lord and love the Lord from him.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: There is nothing that we can do that's gonna make him turn our his back on us.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: There's nothing that will stop him from loving us.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: That he's so compassionate.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: And to me, I mean, that is just such a great gift and such a great relief to hear because I spend so much time wondering if I'm good enough or thinking about the things I've done wrong, or is God gonna turn his back?
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like, does he love me?
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: Like all of these things, and they're all lies.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: They're all lies.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: And so if you do that to yourself too, I want to just encourage you before we jump into the rest of our talk today.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: I just want to encourage you to know that if God can be compassionate to somebody as evil as King Manise, he can certainly and will certainly be as compassionate to you.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: And it's why he sent his son to die for us, to make it a lot easier to ask for forgiveness and to be washed clean of our sins.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: So let that be an encouragement, I hope, for you.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe also the other thing it did for me was just kind of think about how I need to be a little more gracious and merciful to people in my life and stop being so judgmental.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: Because if God is that compassionate, surely I can be more compassionate in my life as well.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: So let me get off my soapbox now and let's get back to what we were talking about.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: And actually, I think this is kind of a good segue because Susan again wrote in and asked about how do we lean into God.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I just got done discussing how I had been reading the Bible recap this morning, and then I sat in my quiet time with God and kind of had this just overcome with emotion.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: A, when I was reading and I read that about Manase, just was overcome.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: And then sitting there in quiet with God, I just, it just it overwhelmed me to the point.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: And and I, and I don't know if it's because I'm getting older or hormones.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think it's any of that, frankly.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's just God showing up and his presence that to me, and when I feel it, it's just so overwhelming that it brings me to tears, like literally tears.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's what happened to me this morning.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: And and that's as simply as I can put it, as easy as I can answer that question.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: When Susan says, Well, how do we lean into God?
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: There it is.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: We have to spend more time in his word because his word is truth and his word is God breathed.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: It's what he spoke, either himself or through other people.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: And it's the best way for us to get to know him and to have a better relationship with him.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: And so stay in the word.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I've been in, I've been in the Bible for years and years and years.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: And it, I can't tell you what it's given to me, but I will say that in this most recent season of my life, spending time with the Lord in quiet.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: So I had already spent time reading the Bible, probably not as focused as I have been more reading recently, but I was always in the Bible or in the Bible regularly.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: And but something new for me in the last year and a half has been spending time in quiet with the Lord.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I just want to share with you first because when I, as we talk about this conversation, when I start the year, when I start a new year, I always have a goal sheet and I have a theme word that I have for the year that I kind of want that's like my biggest focus for the year, and it's sort of what I want the theme of my year to be.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: And so I have my theme word, I keep this on a goals framework that I have for myself, which I revamped last year.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: And then I have a couple of scripture that sort of points back to that word that I bring into memory through the course of the year.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: And so this year, oddly enough, since Susan wrote me that email, this year, my word was and is abide, and abide because I wanted to just abide in Jesus.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted to abide in the Lord.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think we could start there.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I wanted to give you the definition of abide before I close up my iPad that's sitting here on my lap, if you're watching me.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: And the definition for our purposes, there's a couple definitions, but the one that we are talking about in this conversation is to remain or dwell.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: It is to stay in a specific place or condition over time, used in formal or older context.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: So for example, abide with me.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: So just keep that in mind because that that's where that's how we lean into God.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: That was my word for the year, and it has been so unbelievably transformational for me, and it's still transforming me in ways that I would have never expected.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: So just wrap your brain around that for a second.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: To abide is to stay in a specific place or condition over time.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: So think about staying in touch with God and sitting with him and being with him and welcoming him into your life over time.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: So I think for you that are listening to me, leaning on God and learning to lean on him starts with abiding in him, sitting with him, staying with him through the course of your day, not just in specific times, but remembering through the course of your day that you can just check in, that it's just a simple sometimes Jesus or a lookup or a word of praise or a a worship song, or if you're feeling crummy, to just say, Hey, Lord, I need you, like anything to just start to be mindful of him through your day.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: And that can be difficult at first, I think because our minds can go in so many different directions.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: But once you start to do that, it will become more habit, if that makes sense.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think part of it is just getting mindful in in making a decision to keep God with you and the Holy Spirit with you through the course of the day and to check in and to talk to him regularly, whether that's out loud or in your head or you're in your car and you're speaking, you're playing praise and worship music, whatever that looks like.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: So I think that is step number one.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: And then the other thing is spending more direct and a more longer period of time with him.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll get to that in a second.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: Before I do, I wanted to just share one more thing with you that I thought might be beneficial.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: And this is from my um goals framework.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: As I said, my theme word was abide, and then I had my scriptures, and I just wanted them to read, read these to you just to kind of have something that you can sit with or bring to mind as we talk through this abiding in the Lord or leaning on him and spending time with him and getting to know him.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: Here's the first.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: But let your adorning be the hidden person of your heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: And that's 1 Peter 3, 4.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_00: And then the second one is make it your ambition to lead a quiet life.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: 1 Thessalonians 4, 11 to 12.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: That's a tough one for me.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: Because I like to stay really busy and I like things noisy.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: But let's, before we go on to the last one, let's unpack that for a second because I think it's worth talking about.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_00: Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: So that could look like maybe you slow down, you make your life a little more quiet instead of being overscheduled, which some of us do.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_00: I I know I do that.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to talk a little bit more about this concept of distraction so that we don't have to deal with our junk.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: But that's the way we could look at the quiet life.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: But I think also just the direct, more direct meaning of a quiet life, less noise.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that is especially important in this day and age because there's just so much noise.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I believe I've talked about this before, but it bears repeating.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: Everything is noise.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_00: All the information that we can get at the drop of a hat on our phones, through the TV, through our iPads, through just, I mean, there's constant chatter.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: It's nonstop.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I find myself being distracted and letting myself be distracted by a podcast episode that I love, or scrolling through Instagram or watching something on YouTube, or listening to an audiobook, or whatever that looks like.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_00: And none of those things are bad.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sitting here producing a podcast.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_00: So obviously I don't think it's bad.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I listen, there's a lot of podcasts that I really love, and I love to listen to them when I walk and when I do other things, but I've also realized in the last year and a half that to lean on God, we have to quiet some of that noise.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_00: So I make a habit through the course of my day.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: There are times when I might be getting ready and putting on some makeup or doing the dishes or some laundry.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: And normally I would go and pop on a podcast so I could just be listening and feel like I'm being more productive and maybe just distracting myself or entertaining myself where I actively fight against that and just don't reach for my phone.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_00: I don't put, I don't listen to music.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: I don't, I just do it in quiet so that I can be in quiet and stillness, so that I can have this ambition to lead a quiet life so that I can be more mindful of what I'm doing.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's very stress relieving, first of all, to be present with what you're doing and just pay attention instead of being distracted.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: That's what mindfulness is being present in the moment and what you're doing, like folding laundry and feeling what you're what you're folding and looking at it and seeing the colors, or same thing if you're washing dishes or what putting your makeup on, whatever that looks like.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_00: That in the shower, letting the hot water hit and feeling it, but there's something beyond that to be said for just being quiet.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: Being quiet with your thoughts and even in those moments, just welcoming God in and listening quietly for him to see what impressions he might live on you leave on your heart, I think that that's a very, I know that's a very important thing.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_00: And another thing that I've learned through all of this is that God doesn't typically shout at us.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_00: Wouldn't it be great if we just heard like, hey, Brooke, this is what I want you to do today.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_00: That doesn't happen and he doesn't shout.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_00: He's typically in the quiet moments and very often it's a whisper.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_00: And so if he's speaking to us quietly, if he's nudging our hearts gently, if we don't quiet ourselves and slow down us, slow down enough, even in the day-to-day activity of life, we may miss the opportunity to hear him.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_00: So I think that's something to really keep in mind as we're talking through this idea of abiding and as Susan said, leaning into God instead of other people as just such uh an important thing that we have to slow our lives down and become quiet enough through the day-to-day to listen for him and to practice that.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_00: I also heard, uh, I think it was I was listening to Jenny Allen's podcast, and I do not remember, I'm I could look it up.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_00: If any of you want to know, email me and I'll look it up for you.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_00: But she was interviewing somebody.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_00: She was interviewing, I think, a pastor in Oregon.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_00: But at any rate, she was asking him, how do we learn to listen to God?
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_00: I think he was actually, you guys, I think he was actually the pastor who took over for John Mark Comer's church when he stepped back.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_00: What don't quote me on that.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_00: But at any rate, she was asking him, how do we learn to listen to God?
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: How do we learn to discern what he wants for our lives?
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: What edge, which I think is like a such a good question and such a big question because when we talk about purpose, so many of us, I know me, like that's always been my thing is God, just show me, tell me what you want me to do.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_00: So I know just in a big sense, my purpose, but also just day to day, like what is the right way to go?
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_00: And his advice was twofold.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_00: He said, what I had just talked through was like, God speaks in whispers.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_00: And so we have to quiet our lives down enough to listen to him.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_00: But the second thing he said that I had never really thought through and I think is really uh helpful and powerful, and I'm kind of processing this and thinking this through in my own life, is that you have to practice discernment with the Lord and speaking to him and listening to him in the small stuff before you jump to those big things.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_00: And so to me, yeah, that hit home because I think it's it's you know, we want to jump to like, what am I supposed to do with the rest of my life?
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_00: But we miss just the day-to-day, like, Lord, how can I show up for this person or place it on my heart today, somebody that could use a text or some encouragement or just those types of things.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_00: So I really appreciated that advice from him.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's another great way to lean lean into God and to start to hear from him.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_00: The last Bible verse that I had here for my uh goal sheet in 2026 was one that's pretty popular, and you may have heard it, Psalms 46, 10.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_00: Be still and know that I am God.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_00: That's one of my favorite verses because anytime that I'm feeling fearful or I'm, as you know, I think you probably know that I've dealt with anxiety.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_00: And anytime that I'm in that place, that's something to fall back on.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_00: Just be still and know that I am God.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_00: He is God and I am not, and I can be still and be assured in those moments.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: But I really love this and I think about it.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_00: I actually had this on a picture uh framed in my house for years because I love that verse so much.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sidetracking us again.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_00: But I I love this verse because this is what I want to talk to you about now as we're talking about leaning in and how do we learn to not lean so hard on relationships with people and lean more on God?
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_00: And that is being still with him.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_00: That is spending time with him.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_00: I mentioned this in the loneliness podcast that, you know, how do we get to know God better?
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_00: How do we build a better relationship with him?
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_00: That comes from spending time with him.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_00: As I said, it comes with getting to know him and being in his word.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_00: But, you know, if you want to build a good relationship with your kids, you spend time with them, right?
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_00: We all long for that.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_00: And we are God's children.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_00: So he wants a relationship with us, he wants to spend time with us, and we need to make a habit of spending time with him.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I believe a habit of not just spending time with him, reading his word or praying and asking for things, but spending time with him, just listening for him, abiding in him, dwelling with him.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_00: And so that was a really, really, really hard thing for me to begin.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll actually just be really upfront and honest with you and tell you how that started for me.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_00: I was having a really tough start to 2025.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_00: And my brother uh was encouraging me to talk to a therapist.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I had dabbled in that in the past and not had actually not had great success at all, but I decided to give it a try because somebody that he recommended and was talking with her through a bunch of things that I'm obviously not going to get into here, but like personal things, but also um more specifically anxiety and some OCD.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the very first things that she asked me to do was begin a practice of meditation every morning.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_00: And then on top of that, I had in the midst of that seen a um new PCP.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_00: And in talking to her, the first visit was telling her about being stressed and feeling like I was in fight.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_00: Of flight and some anxiety.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_00: And she said she'd had my bud work back and said that my cortisol was spiking in the morning and that the best way to bring that down was through meditation.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: And that the meditation for it to be affected needed to be at least 20 minutes.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_00: And to me, I was like, 20, 20 minutes, like there's no way I can sit still for 20 minutes.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_00: But I was so stressed and just so at the point where like I want anything that I could do to help, I was going to try to do.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so I started to think through that.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_00: My therapist gave me a couple of little like YouTube video clips to like guided type things.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_00: But I just, and I'm not judging anybody, you know, everybody's your walk with the Lord is different than my walk.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not judging anyone.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_00: But for me, I just felt like I didn't, I read books when I was younger, like in high school by an author named Frank Peretti.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_00: And some of them were a bit, they were fictions, but they were Christian fictions and they were about like meditation and even like drug type things.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_00: And when you opened yourself up or your subconscious brain, it allowed like evil things in.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_00: So I've always had that kind of in the back of my mind.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I just I all that to say, a guided type of meditation just didn't sit well with me.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't feel comfortable doing that.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_00: And so I decided that if I was going to do any type of meditation, it was gonna be me sitting in quiet and seeking God and seeking Jesus and the Holy Spirit.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_00: And that's how this all started.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I began with, if I remember correctly, I began just setting a timer for a couple of minutes and just sitting in quiet and just listening for God and telling him that I was here and that I was present.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_00: And then that evolved.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_00: And my brother encouraged me to use the Abide app.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_00: That's what he likes for Christian meditation.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I've dabbled a little bit in that.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_00: And then I got turned on to the Hallow app, which I think Mark Wahlberg started.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_00: And it's a Catholic-based app.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not Catholic, but I will tell you that their guided, their weekly meditations or daily meditations are so wonderful.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_00: They're so, for me, so simple.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_00: You can choose five, 10, 15, 20, 30 or more minutes.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_00: I've have mine set to 20.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_00: I use Jonathan Roomy, who is the actor that played Jesus in the chosen, but you can choose the person who's going to narrate.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_00: And basically each day, it's just a very simple, you start by taking a few deep breaths.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_00: They tell you to take a through a few deep breaths, and then um to just get quiet with God and tell him what you are seeking today.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_00: And for me, it's just a few moments to say, Lord, I'm seeking your face.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'm seeking your peace that surpasses all understanding.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_00: I just, I want, would you one of one of the things I'm always praying and meditating on is Lord, take my mind and give me your mind.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_00: Help me to think your thoughts.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_00: Help me to see things the way they really are and not the way they appear to me to be.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_00: I think I've learned that from Jenny Allen somewhere along the way.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to take credit for it.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_00: Those are not my own prayers, but they're very powerful for me.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_00: Let your will for my life be the strong desire of my heart.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_00: That's another one.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_00: And so I start by just saying, Lord, more than anything else, I want to abide in you daily.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_00: I want to know you more intimately.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_00: And then the next prompt would be whatever it is to focus on for that day.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes it might be just focusing on God is your kind and loving Father, or welcoming the Holy Spirit in, or praying them, Lord Jesus, Son of the Living God, have mercy on me, a sinner, whatever.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_00: There's a couple of different prompts that they just are you are encouraged to think on that only.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_00: And anytime your mind wonders, bring it back to those words.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_00: And then towards the end of the meditation, it's just maybe a three or four minute thing, depending on how long the meditation you chose, where he said, just now sit in silence with the Lord.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_00: And so I started to do those meditations on the Hello app.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I mean, I wow.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_00: First of all, let me just say one of the reasons that I had a hard time, and in case this is you, is just I I've always felt like I needed distraction.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_00: I needed to be, I have obsessive thoughts and I get anxious.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_00: And so to sit in quiet with just my thoughts and myself can feel like torture.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_00: And that's one of the reasons why I actively like stay busy and have a to-do list and always have noise.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_00: I'm always going, but I realized like I'm just distracting myself.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm not, how am I getting closer to God?
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_00: How am I dealing with any of my junk?
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_00: And so, as uncomfortable of it as it was, realizing that that's what I was doing was a big deal for me.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I needed to really just start to sit with those thoughts and even the uncomfortable thoughts, because it initially when I started doing the quiet meditation with the Lord, there were some thoughts that coming into my, excuse me, into my mind that I did not like.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_00: And it made me just want to like shut off the timer and shut off the meditation and quit.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_00: But I also did not want to give up.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_00: So I sat with it and I just prayed to God, like, I don't, I this is not me.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want this.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_00: I love you, Jesus, and just sit through it.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_00: And the more I did it, the more, the closer that I felt to God.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_00: The more time you spend with Him, the more you would build your relationship.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_00: And the first thing in the morning, maybe not first thing in the morning, I guess, because I'm, you know, going through the brushing my teeth and taking the dogs out and doing a little stretching and praying.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_00: So normally in the first hour, I sit down for those 20 minutes.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_00: And now I've even started, I would wait on my tea, but or coffee drink or whatever it is.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_00: But now I'll take my and I outside because the weather is warm and I take my hot cup of tea and I sit and I just sit quietly with my eyes closed in a very relaxed, comfortable position.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I actually look forward to it every morning.
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I sit there with my tea, I sip on it, I keep my eyes closed, and I'm just focus on releasing the sh tension in my shoulders and just relaxing my face and just focusing in, starting with those prayers that I mentioned to you, and then focusing in on calm holy spirit, come, holy spirit, not necessarily saying it out loud, but repeating it in my head.
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_00: And it has been, I mean, it's it's changed me and it's still changing me.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_00: It has and it I do not say that lightly.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what leaning into God looks like for me.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_00: So for Susan, if you're listening, anybody else, when I talked about that in the loneliness podcast and said maybe he wants you to spend more time with him and lean on him instead of others, for me, that's what it's looked like.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_00: And it's probably sounds like a simple thing to just sit in quiet for 10 minutes.
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_00: And it really is.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's a simple thing, but it doesn't mean it's easy.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_00: And if you do need a distraction and you're not used to sitting in quiet, sometimes the hardest thing, just like getting into a gym, is just making the decision to do it and doing it for that first time.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_00: But God is revealing himself to me in those moments.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_00: Even just like I said today, circling back to the start of this when I was just overcome by feeling like the compassion of God to the point of tears.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_00: And just it's so powerful.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's so powerful to take those moments.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_00: But if you don't slow your life down enough to do it, if you don't overcome any fear you might have of just sitting with yourself and being alone with yourself in God, you could really miss out on something really special.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_00: And again, just because something's simple doesn't mean it's easy, but it's just, I think it's one of the most important things that we could do in midlife to have a healthier midlife, to have a more vibrant midlife, to live more on purpose for the Lord, to know him better.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_00: It has eased my mind in ways that I I would have never guessed.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_00: It has brought things up for me that I need to work on, that I I had just buried and stuffed down.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_00: You know, one of my prayers recently as I go into that quiet time has been, Lord, to just, and this is from scripture, search me and know my heart, test me and know my anxious thoughts.
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I've just have been praying, Lord, shine your light in the darkest places of my heart, the darkest spots of my mind.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_00: Just bring, bring to light any sin that I need to acknowledge and repent of, and also anything that I have buried that I need to bring to you to be healed of, to be freed from, so that I can be more of who you called me to be and designed me to be and just walk in more joy and more peace.
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_00: And that is a powerful prayer because that, that, yeah, I've I've had some, there are some things that I'm actively needing to work on, but it's important work.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_00: And the good news is I'm not doing it alone.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and you don't have to either.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, so I would just encourage you to take that time, take that time, um, definitely be in your Bible, join Bible studies.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, being plugged into a good uh Bible teaching church is important and definitely praying, but taking that quiet time and meditation with the Lord, Lord, is very powerful and it's very necessary.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_00: And if you are somebody who is feeling lonely or you're feeling disconnected, or you're feeling like you need to put God first and you haven't been, and you need to find your joy in Him, that for me is the best way to do it.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's the best way to do it.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_00: And it is remarkably amazing how a God that is so big and who created the whole universe and wrote the Bible and did all of these miraculous things and hold the stars and the heavens in his hands that he would think enough of me or and you and anyone else who sits in quiet with him to just give him a little glimpse of his presence.
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_00: It's just remarkable to me.
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_00: I just I can't even wrap my brain around it.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_00: So I I hope this doesn't sound hoey hooky hokey or cheesy to you, but it's just real.
• 31:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I've I've been feeling a nudge too because yeah, I'm somebody who I just all my life I've worried about what people think about me.
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to, I'm a people pleaser.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_00: I want to get myself worth in other people.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_00: That's not great either.
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_00: So I'll always have this like, oh, I don't, I don't want to say too much about the Lord or about Jesus.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to offend somebody.
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe I'm gonna turn them off and then they're not gonna hear.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_00: And and I just feel this nudge.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_00: And even our pastor was talking about it on Sunday.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like, stop worrying about offending people.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_00: You need you speak truth, speak it in love, but don't be, don't be ashamed or embarrassed of how you feel.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_00: And so I just listen, that's what I'm here for.
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm here to be authentic, to reveal my true self to you, to hopefully share more of Jesus' love and truth with you in a real way and in a vulnerable way, in a raw way, so we can open up good conversations with each other.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_00: So we can all hopefully be less afraid of sharing these things and more willing to speak more boldly about our faith and about Jesus and about the things we're struggling with, so that we can bring it into the light and not deal with it in silence or quiet on our own.
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't mean silence or quiet, like I've been talking about meditation, but like in that quietness where you feel all by yourself, so we can bring it into the light and not suffer through it alone.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_00: Because a lot of times things seem so much bigger until we bring them into the light and we share them with other people.
• 33:15
  SPEAKER_00: And so to be able to talk to you and share myself and to have you emailing me back about what I've talked about or shared with me or ask me questions, it's just, it's just such a I'm just so grateful.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so grateful and I'm so grateful to you, Susan, and to the others of you that have reached out.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_00: I would love to do more episodes like this where I talk about and address things that you're talking about too.
• 33:39
  SPEAKER_00: So don't hesitate to reach out.
• 33:41
  SPEAKER_00: Don't hesitate to share this with somebody else that you think needs to hear it.
• 33:45
  SPEAKER_00: I also just happen to think as I was talking to, and I'll share one more thing before we wrap up, about just the bigness of God and how much I sense that when I sit with him.
• 33:55
  SPEAKER_00: I'm reading a book right now that I highly recommend.
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_00: I'm only maybe a third of the way through.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_00: So the book is A Million Little Miracles by Mark Batterson.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_00: And it's just great.
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like I said, I'm a third of the way through it.
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_00: And just to talk about and think on the bigness of God and how much he loves us has been, it's just been really good.
• 34:13
  SPEAKER_00: So I will link that in the show notes.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_00: And again, I just want to thank you for being here so much from the bottom of my heart.
• 34:19
  SPEAKER_00: I appreciate it more than you know.
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_00: And thank you for reaching out.
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_00: Continue to reach out to me.
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_00: You can email me at brook at thestillwellmom.com.
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_00: Make sure you check out the website, www.thestillwellmom.com, for everything that's going on there.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_00: If you're enjoying this podcast and you would be willing to subscribe and rate and review, that would be a huge help.
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_00: That allows me to grow and to get more visibility.
• 34:43
  SPEAKER_00: And then lastly, as always, I just do want you to remember that you don't have to do midlife alone.
• 34:50
  SPEAKER_00: You can choose stewardship over striving and you can be strong in body, steady in mind, and rooted in faith.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time.