Latest / Hardiness with Dr Paul Taylor / Mojo Monday - Looking Beyond Ourselves: One Question to Shift Our Perspective on Our Lives

Transcript

Mojo Monday - Looking Beyond Ourselves: One Question to Shift Our Perspective on Our Lives · Hardiness with Dr Paul Taylor

• 0:08
  Speaker 1: Hi everybody, Carli here, Welcome to this week's Mojo Monday.
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: Today we are diving into a question and it's a
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: very powerful question that we can ask ourselves and it
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: comes from the Japanese self reflection practice non as n
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: i can, which is Naika n And I know many
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: of you, like me, are into journaling, so if you
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: would like to experiment with this as a journaling exercise,
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: I would highly recommend it. And here's why. So research
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: shows that self focused attention, which I've talked a lot about,
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: is this tendency to tune into our own thoughts and
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: feelings and those bodily sensations that come up like shaking
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: or clammy hands or rapid heart rate and ease. If
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: we focus on these things, that can significantly increase our anxieties,
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: our fears, our worries. The vast majority of us feel
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: some level of these emotions, like anxiety, which is very normal.
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: They're normal stress responses, but of course there are those
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: who really struggle. When we're hyper aware of ourselves, we
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: can develop a heightened self focus, and this can lead
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: to exasperated negative thoughts, rumination, exaggerated fears, catastrophizing, and ultimately
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: avoidance behaviors. So if you've been listening to me for
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: a while, you would know I talk a lot about
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: using our attention and n CAN is really helpful in
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: controlling where our attention is. And studies have shown that
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: i CAN used in psychotherapy is extremely effective in treating
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: those with generalized anxiety disorder and panic disorder. So if
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: we can shift our attention away from ourselves to help
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: us live better even when we feel scared or anxious,
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: or nervous or worried, worried about what the other people
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: think of us, this is where nikan can come in.
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: So nikan is it's from Japan, means inside looking or introspection,
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: and it encourages us to reflect on our relationships and
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: experience and our experiences with three questions as a guide.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: But today we're not going to focus on all three questions.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: We're just going to focus on the first question, and
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: that is what have I received? So at its core,
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: what have I received guides us to shift our focus
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: from our internal anxieties or internal states to the external
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: world and the people around us and all the things
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: that we are given every single day from others. It's
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: such a simple question, but it can really shift our
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: perspective on our lives. So when we take the time
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: to consider all that we have received from others, we
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: begin to see this vast network of support and kindness
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: that surrounds us every single day. So think about it
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: for a moment. Every day we benefit from the hard work,
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: the efforts, and the contributions of countless people, many of whom,
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: in fact, most of whom we have never met. So
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: take this podcast for example, that you're listening to right now.
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: You have received this from Adam Curry and Dave Winer.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: I did a Google search. So if it wasn't for
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: these two men, who you don't know and they don't
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: know you, you wouldn't be listening to me right now
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: because they created the podcast back in two thousand and one.
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: So thank you, Thank you, Adam and Dave. And here's
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: another one. So what have you eaten today? So maybe
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: you ate free range eggs for breakfast? And I say
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: pre range because I don't believe in caged eggs. So
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: but that's just a side note. So you received these
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: eggs from the farmers who raise the chickens. You received
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: the eggs from the chickens themselves, the machinery operators who
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: packed the eggs into cartons, and there was a truck
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: driver who drove them to the supermarket or the store
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: to the person who then stopped the shelf, so you
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: could walk to the aisle, choose your eggs, take them
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: to the cash register to pay, and then take them home.
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: So you get the picture here. I could go deeper
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: and deeper into this, but what it illustrates is that
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: we are so connected to so many people who help
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: us live in this world, people who help us function
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: and contribute to our wellbeing and the richness of it
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: our lives. And I find this one of the most
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: humbling reflections because now we're not just thinking about ourselves
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: and our problems. We're expanding our view of our place
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: in the world and all we have been given. When
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: we practice this reflection, we intentionally divert our attention away
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: from our own worries and instead cultivate a sense of
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: very deep gratitude and connection. And we know from the
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: research how important gratitude is for our mental health. It
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: helps us recognize that we are part of a larger,
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: interconnected community, and what this reflection can do is reduce
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: our self focused attention and foster a sense of appreciation
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: and humility. Let's try a short exercise together. So close
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: your eyes. Obviously, if you're driving, don't close your eyes,
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: but if you can closeure eye guys, and take a
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: deep breath. Now, think about your day so far. What
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: have you received today? Maybe it's something as simple as
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: the morning coffee that you enjoyed. So think about who
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: grew those coffee beans, who transported them, who prepared your coffee,
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: who ensured that the water used to make the coffee
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: is clean, All those people who were involved in ensuring
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: that you could enjoy that first sip of your morning coffee. So,
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: as you reflect on this question what have I received?
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: Notice how your focus shifts away from your own thoughts,
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: your own feelings, to this broader perspective of interdependence and
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: deep gratitude. This simple shift in attention can reduce intense
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: emotions and feelings and help you feel more connected with
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: the world around you. So by regularly practicing this reflection,
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: we can train our minds to move away from the
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: habitual self focus that often exasperates our emotions. Instead, we
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: can open ourselves to this world of gratitude and connection.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: In fact, I like to call this gratitude on steroids
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: because it can go to so many deep layers. So
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: next time you're feeling overwhelmed by your thoughts or your emotions,
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: ask yourself what if I received today and take a
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: moment to appreciate this web of support surrounds you. So
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: this is just one of three questions of the nai
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: Can reflection, which is a journal reflection that I often do.
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: And I'll delve into the other two questions next week,
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: but in the meantime, try this one question. And if
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: you are struggling with a relationship right now, this is
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: a really effective healing exercise where you can ask this
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: question what have I received? Just on one person. So
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: if we take away the judgment, take away the hurt,
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: and just write down what have I received from this person,
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: it can widen the perspective of the situation. As always,
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: I hope you have got value from this episode of
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: Mojo Monday. Please consider subscribing if you haven't already, and
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: we would love it if you could leave us a
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: review on Apple Podcasts as it helps keep the podcast going.
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: And thank you so much for listening. I'll see you
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: next week.