Latest / Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps / Phone Tap: Potty Police

Transcript

Phone Tap: Potty Police · Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: One eight hundred d UI away now offering free remote
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: consultations by phone or video conference for any criminal offense.
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Trust Brooke, Jeffrey and Jose's friends with a free remote
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: consultation from Bradley Johnson Lawyers. Visit one eight hundred dya
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: dot com or call. Some people are very liberal with
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: their restroom time while at work. I can't think of
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: anybody on this show, but some people, and I can
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: definitely see why you'd want to spend a lot of
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: time in there because it's it's a nice quiet place.
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: You can play games on your phone, FaceTime your sister
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: while you're on the can. It's the only safe haven
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: where your boss can't bug you to do stuff. Your
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: sister still answers, that is that's not true. They still
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: bug you. Yeah, that's right. And until now, because we
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: call a guy to tell him the company knows that
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: he's been abusing his toilet privileges and we have an
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: interesting yet strange solution to fix it. In your phone
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: tap right now, it's hello. This is Carl. Hi Carl,
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: my name's Lady guenevere Um. Excuse me, who did you
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: say you were? I know it's just what my parents
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: named me. I'm from Hrum. I don't remember lady Guenevere
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: from human Resources. Oh yeah, I'm based out of Atlanta,
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: so we haven't met. Okay, nice to meet you. Yeah,
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: I was just seeing here your time card is due
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: today and I just wanted to know if you wanted
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: me to adjust it or if you were going to
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: because I do have the number right in front of me.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm not sure what you're referring to. Well,
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: I'm looking at it and it says you've put down
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: full hours for the week. Yes, so what come on, Carl,
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: we both know that's not true. No, it is. Yeah,
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: having this today, you're correct about that, But you have
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: been spending a lot of time building a log cabin.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry. It's slang for using the restroom. Yeah, apparently
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: you've been in there a lot, and we recently set
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: limits on that so you can find it in the
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: company handbook. Yeah, we passed it out earlier this year.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: There's no way there's anything about that. Oh it does. Yeah.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: Too many employees were taking advantage of, you know, time
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: and just going in there with their phone while they
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: were free in the turtles. I didn't do that and
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: it's weird that you're using these type of references. Listen,
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: I have had so many conversations like this and I
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: just need to change it up. Okay, different words, different
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: slang saved me from this boring job. I'm not abusing
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: my bathroom toil it is, I promise you, and I
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: think anyone should be able to use the bathroom whatever
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: they need to. Yeah, you know, I absolutely agree with you.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: They should be able to use the bathroom whenever they
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: need to at home. And according to your direct supervisor,
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: you are one of the top violator and releasing chocolate hostages.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: Oh god, can you stop doing that. That's what I'm
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: asking you to do. Stop doing it. I cannot stop
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: going to the bathroom. Okay, that's I have to use
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: it a few times a day. That's just how a
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: human body works. We have an idea. When you feel
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: like it's time to squeeze a steamer, I just what
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: what do you have? It's a souris for pooping. I'm
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: just saying I need you to go to your supervisor
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: and say, put a clock on me for four minutes.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: I'm about to park a custard. Oh god, oh my god,
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: this is so gross. But he'll understand what you mean.
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: He'll give you a thumbs up and then just be
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: back before the timer runs out and we'll all be good.
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, it's just so unprofessional. How am I
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: having a conversation with a human resources person who's using
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: just all this really gross flag about going to the bathroom.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: I'm just trying to relate here, okay, And you shouldn't
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: be telling me when I can go to the bathroom. Well,
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: then you shouldn't be spending hours in the bathroom, and
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: then we wouldn't be having this conversation. Spending hours in
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: the bathroom? Stop what your cover or Dylan said? Okay,
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: he said, you're in there at least four times a
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: day baking some brownies. What does Dylan have to do
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: with this? Why would he do that? Because Dylan actually
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: wanted me to broadcast the whole thing over the radio.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: What's what he asked for? What? Yeah, I'm not really
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: an HR. My name's Broke from the radio show Brooker
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: Jeffrey in the morning. We're doing a phone tap on you.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: Oh god, i'd be a terrible HR person. Your co worker,
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: Dylan set you up. He said, he said that you've
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: been running late to meetings because you're spending so much
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: time in the bathroom. Man, I'm not. Oh my god,
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: you're not. Come on, so you can be honest with me,
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: I'm not, actually hr Okay, maybe some, but like not
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: as much as he's saying. I'm baking he said, baking brownies. Yeah,
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: that's right. I'm just gonna advise you right now to
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: check with your supervisor next time you want to give
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: birth to a state trooper. Okay, Oh, wake up every
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: morning with pune tape. On the twenties Broke and Jeffrey
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: in the morning, they would would