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Closing The Loops That Drain Your Energy · #BeMoreLobster

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: How many times do you get to the end of the day feeling totally wiped out, but you can't actually point to anything big that happened to create that?
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: Have you ever considered that it's not necessarily just the big things that are draining you?
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's those little unfinished loops that you're carrying around in your head that's creating this incessant exhaustion.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: I want to have a conversation about that today because it's certainly something that I've experienced and I believe that this will offer you a bit of a perspective shift.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're ready, you know what to do.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: Grab your brew and let's dive right in.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to talk about these unfinished loops that you're carrying around in your head.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I was sitting there thinking about some of the ways that I know I keep these loops open.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: Things like the erratic emails.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: So the that when you look at your phone and it says 1,000 unopened emails, and then inside of that, you've got the emails that you've opened and you've not deleted, even though you don't need to do anything with them.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: And then on top of that, you've got the emails that you've opened and you're not actioned and you know you need to do them.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: Similarly, you've got the text message or the what was that message or the Facebook message that you know you haven't responded to yet and it's playing as this uncompleted loop in your brain?
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: Have you, like me, got an ironing pile in a special secret place in your house that just keeps growing and it's always at the back of your mind?
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: What about that coffee that you haven't yet arranged to have with your parents or your best friend that you've been meaning to do for ages?
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: Or the plan that you keep talking about making for yourself that will help you to systemise and make your life easier, but you just haven't got around to doing the plan this time of the year, when you're thinking about the garden projects and the tidy up that needs happening, and when you look outside, you're like, oh my god, it's a mess, I must get out there and do that.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: The morning ritual that you've not started yet, but you think about every day when you think about oh crap, I didn't do it again.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: The bad food choice that you made because you didn't get time to go to the shops, and now that voice in your head is really loud, and you're thinking loop, I need to make more time to go shopping.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: These are just a tiny selection of the myriad of unfinished loops that can often go round and round in our head.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: And what's the cost of that?
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I want you to think about all of those unfinished tasks acting like open browser tabs in your brain.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: And just like if you've got 20,000 tabs open on your laptop, it's going to reduce the capacity and the speed of it that at which it works.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: The same thing is happening for you, and it's quietly and almost invisibly exhausting you.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: You can often always feel like constantly behind.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: So even if you've been busy all day and there is a level of physical exhaustion there, a level of mental exhaustion, you still feel behind because there's so many other things, these little things that you know you need to do, but you just haven't got the time to do them.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: And that energy that could go to what really matters gets stuck in this low-level tension.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: Now, what I want to just mention there as well is that we've got this kind of low-level tension as a vibe, as an energy or frequency, but I also want to talk to you about the tension that then becomes physical, uh, actual tension inside our body.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: I work with and talk to my clients a lot about the somatic responses that we have, the mind-body connection.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: We don't experience anything in life just through our brain, just through our mind.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: It's a complete mind-body experience.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: And when we're going around and we've got these unopened loops all the time, causing this low level of like stress and anxiety and thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking, and even though it's probably happening very unconsciously, I want you to imagine that your body's being sort of turned, like you know, in the olden days we used to we used to wind our clocks up if you're as old as me.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: It's like that's what's happening to your body, and it's getting turned and turned and turned and tighter and tighter and more constricted.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: There is a somatic effect of this as well.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: It's not just in your brain.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: It can maybe you experience it as not being able to take a deep breath, not being able to exhale completely, and maybe you can't inhale completely.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you find yourself even now, just notice where are your shoulders?
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: Are your shoulders shoulders up by your ears?
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: If they are, drop them and exhale deeply.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: Soften your jaw, soften your pelvic floor, and just relax for a second.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: If you notice a difference just in that the softening of the jaw, dropping the shoulders, softening your pelvic floor, you're going around in this constant state of physical tension as well as mental tension.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: So these little unfinished loops are not really so little when we're carrying them all the time.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: It's like a 500 gram weight might be easy to carry today, but if you carry that 500 grams out in front of you every single day, all day without putting it down, that's gonna end up being like 500 tonne at some point.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: What I want to offer you is how do we start to move away from that?
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: Because there's no denying there are lots of things to do, and everything's got a slate, a sliding scale of importance.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not here to tell you to create a plan or to make a list or anything like that, although they're they're helpful.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I want to just kind of offer you a couple of different things and just simple ways to manage it.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: This whole podcast about seeking simplicity is really about how do we choose to navigate life differently from the really, really hard things to the not so hard, but that still impact our lives.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like everything is relevant, your experience of life is relevant and allowed.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: So there's a book called Getting Things Done by David Allen, and I love what he says in there.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: He says, Your mind is for having ideas, not for holding them.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: So again, it comes to this idea of weight.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: In high performance coaching, I teach something called RWID, which is the relative weight of importance and duration, and it basically says that the more time we give to a thought, the more importance and weight our brain gives it.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: And actually, it'll seek ways to bring more proof of that to you.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: So if you you're giving it even unconscious time, so if you imagine you've got all these little tabs open and they're flying around your brain unconsciously, but with an energetic charge and energetic weight, your brain's giving importance to them because it knows that it's there.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: That's why they keep popping up into your brain, reminding you, hey, I'm still here, I'm still here.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: So when you think about unminded for having the ideas, not for holding them, it kind of leads you to, okay, so I've got to find a way to get these things out of my brain.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: Closing those loops.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: Even, maybe even especially those small, seemingly inconsequential ones that we keep just batting, batting, batting, batting, because they're kind of small, they don't really matter, but maybe they're the ones taking up the most amount of time and weight.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: Because when we don't close them, and they're taking up this weight and time and creating importance, it feels heavy in our body, in our brain.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: When we start to close them, every single one of them, even the small ones, it frees up your mental and emotional bandwidth, it restores focus, and it allows your body to feel released and relaxed and restored and rejuvenated.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: And by God, is your body important?
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: All I want to offer you is some a couple of simple practices to begin today.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: Choose one loop today, whether it is replying to the one message, whether it's clearing out a hundred emails, whether it is ironing five shirts, or whether it's um finishing that two-minute task that you keep saying, it'll take me two minutes, I don't need to do that today.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: Start closing some of those ones now.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: And if you are feeling overwhelmed, start with the smallest ones you possibly can.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: Start with the ones that you keep telling yourself don't really matter because they do matter, because you matter, and your mental, emotional, physical, spiritual health matters.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: Just choose one today, and if you choose one tomorrow and one the day after, imagine where you could be in an entire month.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: 30 loops closed.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: How much more space will you have?
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: How much more release and relaxation will be in your body?
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: And when you've picked that one loop, here's the thing: you don't just have to do it either.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: You can do it, or you can delegate it, or you can just delete it.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: There have been times holding my hands up, I'm looking at my emails, and I'm thinking, you know what, I've not opened them for however long, I'm gonna just delete the whole lot, and if it's important, it'll come back to me.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not saying that's a good plan, but it was either invest a lot of time going through it, or just be like, yeah, no, I'm just not prepared to do that and delete.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I think I deleted about 3,000 emails.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so do it, delegate it, or just bloody delete it, and then when you do that, notice the immediate sense of lightness, notice the spaciousness, and I can pretty much guarantee that the lightness, the spaciousness, the relief will be disproportionate to the loop you just close.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: In other words, the loop may have been seemed small in the moment, but the relief, the release, the the space is going to be massive.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: And if that happens with one, what happens with 10, with 20, with 30?
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: So today, honour yourself because you do matter.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: Pick one loop that you can close in under two minutes today.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: Do it, delegate it or delete it, and notice how much lighter you feel.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: Now, my friends, I know that you know a woman that needs to hear this message too.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: So please, with love, send her this podcast.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: Let her know that she too can start to free herself of these incessant mental loops and create some space in her mind, body, and spirit.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you as always for being part of my Seeking Simplicity community, and I will speak to you again next week.