Latest / AWAKEN with Dylan Ayaloo: Inner Work, Healing, Yoga & Meditation / [EP32] How to stay present in difficult moments

Transcript

[EP32] How to stay present in difficult moments · AWAKEN with Dylan Ayaloo: Inner Work, Healing, Yoga & Meditation

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  How to shift from trying to escape the present moment and have peace with now.
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  I find my mind's been jumping to what's next, what's next, when I want to have more contentment with now.
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  So I think this is the essence of inner work and transformation.
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  That's why in our framework, the first part of the three in Feel Heal Manifest, the first part is feel.
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  And I purposely didn't call it get present.
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  I say feel because firstly it's one word and it's quick and easy to remember but also by way of
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  feeling feeling into what our breath and our body I found it's the simplest not always the easiest
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  obviously but the simplest way to get present and that's what you're talking about Susan in your
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  question which is how do I get present right like and stop my mind from just racing into the future
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  and for you it's doing that it's what's next what's next and for others it might be in the past
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  And the mind is always doing this thing where it's either rehashing the past or fantasizing about the future.
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  And therefore, when it does that, it's not or never in the present moment when it's in those moments of chasing past or future.
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  So using the framework, feel, feel, manifest, feel, feeling into breath and body, while it's not exciting and simple and maybe even boring, it works.
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  right so anytime you want to actually come back into the present moment so those are a couple of
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  ways right like your breath and body connection and then anything in your physicality just to
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  make it a bit more tangible so the sounds around you in this moment the temperature of the air on
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  your skin the sensation of your clothing on your skin the feet your feet on the ground if you're
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  sitting then the parts of your body that are in contact with the ground any aspect that is now
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  this present moment. And ideally, the more and more that you do, like more and more awareness
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  that you bring into these aspects, the more grounded into the present moment, the more
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  present is the essence of mindfulness. I've never actually trained in mindfulness. It's just several,
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  some decades of meditation and yoga that has taught me, and also before that as a professional
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  martial artist, being in my body has taught me that it is one of the quickest and most effective
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  and simplest, not always easy, but the simplest, quickest, but sometimes easy way of getting
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  present. Definitely effective. Breath and body connection. And then whatever is markers of the
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  present moment, right? So if, you know, you're sitting in a room and I don't know, there's lights,
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  that you've got. So paying attention to the level of light, sounds around you, smells,
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  the temperature, all of those things that are markers and anchors back to the present moment.
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  Therefore, it pulls us out of traveling time in our minds, past and future, and bringing us
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  back into the physicality, by way of physicality, right? Our physical body and breath into the
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  present moment. So let me just read the question again, make sure I've answered it. How to shift
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  and have peace with now.
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  Okay, I'll come to that.
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  Find my mind is jumping what's next, what's next,
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  and I want to have more contentment with now.
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  So contentment with the present moment,
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  finding peace with the present moment.
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  I'll use an example from the yoga practice.
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  So when we think of yoga,
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  different people have obviously different perceptions, right?
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  If you've done the yoga practice, for example.
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  So when you're on the mat in a posture,
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  you may or may not be having a great time, right?
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  Like a lot of times when we're in the posture,
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  we're not actually having the best time of our life.
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  Sometimes we are, right?
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  But a lot of times it's challenging.
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  You're shaking, you're sweating.
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  Maybe you're falling over.
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  You might think, my goodness, do I look silly?
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  I don't have balance.
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  All of this stuff that's going on internally.
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  And then there's like the physical aspect.
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  It's like, shit, muscles are not strong enough
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  or I'm not flexible enough
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  Well, we're going through a journey and all of these aspects, not just the difficult part,
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  but then certainly aspects of the moment that is difficult.
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  And it's normally the difficult part that we don't want to deal with.
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  There's some part of us that wants to just tune out all the difficult emotions and all the difficult experience
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  and just have this candy floss unicorn and rainbow type reality where everything is soft and fluffy and happy.
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  And, you know, we're just bouncing off clouds.
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  Unfortunately, well, actually fortunately and unfortunately, physical reality, the human
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  reality, the human life does not work like that.
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  It is rich with the whole spectrum of emotions and experiences from what we label as good
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  and bad, easy or not, and all everything else in between.
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  And when we ignore some part of it, therefore we make ourselves unwell over time.
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  We make ourselves, we create unease within ourselves and therefore it forms us disease.
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  And that's another topic for another, I've already talked about those kind of topics before.
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  So resisting what is, is what you're asking, Susan.
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  Like how do I stop resisting what is?
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  How you stop resisting what is.
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  If what is is difficult, how do I stop resisting it?
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  How do I have peace with the now?
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  It's making peace with the now.
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  It's not like you get peace from somewhere else.
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  It's resolving into it.
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  It's surrendering like it's in a yoga pose, right?
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  If you're fighting the pose, it's going to just mirror that back.
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  The mat's just like a life-size mirror.
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  It just mirrors it back.
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  But if you're in the pose and you choose to relax into it,
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  even if some parts of you just don't want to let go in those moments,
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  and you choose to surrender, and surrender is not defeat.
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  is not weakness. Surrender is a choice. It takes strength to choose to let go. That's what I'm
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  talking about when I say surrender. So to surrender, to let go, to resolve, to relax in the moment,
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  right? To choose to relax in the moment when you can have that fight, right? Like internally or
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  sometimes that fight comes out externally, either to yourself or others. It's making peace.
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  Like when there's conflict, how do you bring peace to it? You start with bringing the peace to the
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  table. Normally, that's how it resolves things and dismantles the conflict, right? So that's what I
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  would say with like, how do you have peace with the present moment? It's making peace with the
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  difficult aspects of what is present. So if it's emotion, sensation, certain things, situation that
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  is difficult, it's like sitting with those difficult feelings and knowing that it will pass.
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  Nothing is actually permanent. Everything comes and goes. But it does stay when we fight it,
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  when we push against it, when we tussle with it,
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  it tends to linger around longer.
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  When we fight it and resist it especially.
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  So when you resist something and push it, it pushes back in life.
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  When you push against someone, they'll push back.
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  You push against life, life will push back.
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  So if you resist, it'll only just mirror that resistance back probably more.
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  But so the way to have peace is to make peace.
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  choosing to surrender to let go.