Latest / Callum Walker | Figuring It Out / Episode 39: From Self-Doubt to Unshakeable Confidence: How to Handle Criticism and Thrive

Transcript

Episode 39: From Self-Doubt to Unshakeable Confidence: How to Handle Criticism and Thrive · Callum Walker | Figuring It Out

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: If fear is the only thing stopping us from achieving our dreams and we only fear what we don't understand, then the antidote to fear is knowledge.
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: All we have to do is find out who has the knowledge that we need to conquer our fears and achieve our entrepreneurial dreams. My name is Callum Walker, and welcome to the podcast that will help you figure it out and conquer this lonely entrepreneurial journey. Hello, everyone, and welcome to the podcast. Today, I'm going to cover something that has really had a crippling and very, very painful effect on me and my ability to grow my business. It's taken the the joy out of running this coaching business and really putting myself out there at times.
• 0:56
  And it's caused me a lot of sleepless nights. And do you know the other thing as well? It's really caused me to behave in a way that isn't completely in line with who I am and what I believe. And it's the fear of criticism. It is the that worry of being criticized.
• 1:17
  It's it's really, really interesting because I was listening to Andrew Huberman's podcast the other day. No. Correct me wrong. I was listening to Huberman on Joe Rogan's podcast, and he was saying he was like, it's really, really strange that bearing in mind, I cover, all areas of kind of physiology on my podcast, whether it's exercise, psychology, neurology, all of these things. But for some reason, in all of those areas in terms of like the community, so like the exercise physiologists, the psychologists, the neurologists, all of this sort of stuff that in their communities, in terms of disagreeing with things.
• 2:07
  So, let's say that in the exercise community, you've got some people who are more in the favor of high intensity interval training. You have others who are more in the favor of, low intensity, long steady state stuff that they just agree that, okay, right. You know, so you have a different point of view and clearly you've read research that I probably haven't, or you've just interpreted it in a different way. And it's the same amongst all of those other communities. But for some reason in the nutritional space, it's almost like life or death.
• 2:42
  Like, it literally is almost life or death that you're either a calories in calories out guy or a keto carnivore guy. And it is so aggressive in terms of the level of criticism that people put out there. And and he was saying he was saying is that I don't understand it. It seems that it's just the nutrition community that go crazy about these things. And I can't I can't not disagree, with what he said there because, you know, I've been in this space for nearly ten years now.
• 3:17
  And the tribalism is amazing. Like it honestly is borderline. Well, not borderline. It is ridiculous. You know, you look at like right now you have people down one end of the spectrum, James Smith talking about calories in calories out and how it's just about And then you have other people like Paul Saladino, for example, who are down a, and Sean Baker, who are down a further extreme, which is really towards almost like being fully carnivore and coming from this like pure evolutionary basis.
• 3:50
  But the level of abuse that people like put out there is, it's mind boggling. It really, really is mind boggling because is it really that deep? And the where I'm coming at from this is that for me, I I got very, very invested and I am very, very invested in low carb ketogenic diets. I find them fascinating. I find the science of it amazing.
• 4:20
  It's very, very new. It's interesting. It's exciting. And in all honesty, I really, really find that whenever I've used a ketogenic diet or a low carb diet with either my clients or more importantly myself, it has been so effective that, like, right now, you know, I I recorded a podcast episode. It might have been two episodes ago, but it was really around, like, you know, I had amazing amounts of brain fog.
• 4:45
  I felt so groggy, lethargic, tired, fatigued because I've been eating carbs. Now, like, you know, I'm fully ketogenic, and everything is easy again. You know? My ability to think clearly, my ability to articulate myself, my ability to get stuff done, my level of energy, like, it's up there. So for me, it you I can't argue for having carbohydrates into my diet because when I have carbs in my diet, my my joints flare up.
• 5:13
  I put weight on. I feel sluggish, bloated, lethargic. I get that brain fog. I sleep crap. So for me, it's become a no brainer that I kinda have to live low carb and ketogenic until I discover something that is superior to that.
• 5:30
  Now where I'm coming at from this is that I got very invested in the ketogenic world and the low carb space. And I started talking about it and oh my God, the abuse I got. People commenting on my posts, people, resharing my reels. I remember I had this one guy and it really knocked me for six. I I put a post up.
• 5:55
  I was really talking to you about like insulin that, you know, your goal really isn't to get your client into a low calorie state. It's to get them into a low insulin state. Because if you get them into a low insulin state, naturally, you're opening the door to their fat reserves, you're enhancing their ability to burn fat. And that's the way that we need to go about doing it. So this guy, this he was PT.
• 6:15
  Was he PT? No. No. No. Well, kinda.
• 6:18
  Well, he was saying he was a nutritionist, but and I don't mean to be kind of judgmental here, but he was, like, eighteen stone. He's a nutritionist. And I'm like, you just can't do that. Like, you can't. You know, I I understand that there are people who are on their own journey, but I'm like, chief, no disrespect here.
• 6:35
  You're 18, and you're, you're sharing my stuff saying that I don't know what I'm on about. You've got all of your cronies and your mates commenting on my post. And I'm like, first of all, I remember he commented on my post, first of all, saying like, I'd really like to know where you got your education from. And I was sitting there, I was just like, no disrespect here, mate, but I've got a first class master's degree in performance nutrition. I've been accepted as a PhD candidate.
• 7:03
  I've been the nutritionist for two elite sports clubs and I live and breathe nutritional research and have done for the past decade. So don't come at me where I've got my education from. I didn't say that because I just don't think you need to buy back at these people. But when he put a video up, basically like absolutely hammering me And it really hurt me. And it really, really knocked me for six.
• 7:30
  This is quite a while back now. But what happened off the back of that was that him knocking me and really criticizing me. You know, I've done a lot of work on my own self worth since then, and I've very much kind of matured and become a bit more emotionally intelligent and in touch with myself, more comfortable and confident in myself now. But at the time, like, it was probably about for about two weeks, like, I was having pure anxiety. And the reason for that was the the why I was so anxious and worried and why it knocked me so much was because I had someone expose me and criticize me for a lot of my clients to see.
• 8:24
  And I was really, really scared that I had been exposed, that my clients would then see it, and they would then see me for the fraud that I thought I was at the time. So although I had all of this education, I still felt internally, like, I doubted my nutritional knowledge. I doubted my coaching experience. And yeah. And that doubt really kinda then caused me to worry that my clients would leave me.
• 8:55
  They'd find me out for not being as good as they think I am. And all of these things started to kinda cascade. But the bigger thing was that then, because I had started to receive criticism from talking about insulin, criticism from talking about low carb and ketogenic diets. I went in my shell and started going quite vanilla with my content, talking about how, you know, it's just about balance and, you know, yeah, we do need to be in a calorie deficit and never mentioning the word ketogenic or never applying myself to the word ketogenic or low carb really out of this fear of being criticized. And do you know what happened?
• 9:43
  People stopped getting interested in my my content because it was vanilla. It was boring. It was bland. It was the same stuff that they'd heard before. So that criticism then caused me to hide away in terms of my content, which naturally had an impact on my ability to really, really get people to engage and follow and believe in my content off the back of that, which then naturally had an impact on my business.
• 10:12
  It had an impact on me also pushing myself out there for opportunities. I really, really was scared of that criticism and scared of that worry. Now what changed? What changed? Well, I think that, you know, you have to get a bit of experience of receiving criticism and realizing that all your deepest, darkest worries don't come to fruition.
• 10:42
  So I think what started to happen was I was getting criticism, but what was interesting was that that didn't turn my clients off. It actually kind of caused them to rally around me and be like, you shouldn't be getting criticism. Like, we're on your team. I was like, shit. Okay.
• 11:03
  Right. And then yeah. And then the other part was that I then was like, okay. I'm being called out for certain things here. Certain things in my knowledge that apparently are wrong.
• 11:17
  So I remember I had a guy who was talking to me about, who was criticizing me about gluconeogenesis and excessive protein and all this sort of stuff. So that doubt, that worry, that fear, that imposter syndrome, it could it caused me initially to go into my shell, but then I was like, no, I'm gonna figure out this answer here because I haven't just made this shit up. Like, haven't just made the up. I haven't just one day gone, do you know what? Just be slightly mindful of your clients excessively consuming protein because having too much protein could potentially, drive the body to increase its glucose production.
• 11:55
  And off the back of that, it could stimulate insulin and slow down someone's ability to burn fat. I haven't one day woken up and gone. I'm going to make that up. That's what I'm going to do. I'm going to make it up.
• 12:04
  So for you, if you're, you've said something you've been criticized, whether it's on social media, whether you're a face to face PT and, it's other coaches in the gym or whatever. Remember, you haven't just made this up. So go back to the source of where you got that knowledge. So I went back to the source of where I got that knowledge. I read a shed ton of research papers all around.
• 12:26
  It was like, no, I was right. No. I am right. I have got a point here. I know what I'm on about.
• 12:33
  And I think that unfortunately, the price of growth is pain. And we can do one or two things when we're faced with that pain. We can run away from it or we can look at it and go, no, I'm gonna lean into it. I'm gonna step into this. This is an opportunity for me to grow here.
• 12:46
  This is an opportunity for me to overcome a hurdle that is the bar the barrier and the blockade getting in my way of making progress, not only within my business, but as myself, as a human being. It's amazing because right now, how I feel, I feel so energetic. I feel alive. I feel very much, in terms of, like, my mental capacity is very, very high. Why is that?
• 13:09
  Because I'm ketogenic. So I'm holding on to this, Felix. I'm like, no. A ketogenic diet works. And I know it works because I am literally right now living proof that it works.
• 13:19
  So again, kind of like what I was talking about on the sleep series episode about how important it is to apply all of this stuff to yourself because it gives you that commanding presence and that knowledge that like, no, I know what I'm on about. So first of all, when you get that criticism and it hurts and your first drive is to, like, hide away in a shell and not put yourself out there, realize that it's okay if you feel like that, because I'm extremely well qualified, extremely experienced. Then I still get that feeling sometimes, but it's only the experience of realizing that no, actually I know what I'm on about, which brings me to the second part, which is when you're because like right now, you know, I'm very much kind of, you know, I've spoken a lot about insulin over the past few podcast episodes around low carb diets, around sleep optimization, and all of these sorts of things. And you might be the only person in your circle or on social media who is talking about these things. They're polarizing things.
• 14:18
  They're things that will cause people to butt against you, and you will get resistance to it. And what can help? Well, two things. First of all, what was really interesting was that I hid away and I shied away from talking about low carb and ketogenic diets out of a fear of being criticized. But you know what?
• 14:43
  It was actually the thing that drew people to me. I remember I was running a free masterclass and I had someone engage in my, sign up to it, etcetera. And they signed up and I asked them, I was like, why have you signed up? And they said, well, I've been reading a lot of your old content and you really, really are clearly an expert in low carb diets. I really want to gain a further understanding of low carb diets because I've used them to an extent with my clients who have metabolic issues, and it's really, really helped them.
• 15:13
  And I really wanna learn from an expert. I was like, shit. The thing I was scared of revealing was the thing that drew people towards me. The same happened when I had someone, reach out to me and say, hey. I, I listened to you on podcast over twelve months ago, someone else's podcast.
• 15:33
  And what was amazing was that you were explaining all of your credentials, but you were talking about ketogenic diets, intermittent fasting. And I was like, I've always been so interested in it. And the fact that someone of your level is talking about it as well was like, oh my God, I want to learn more from this guy. So again, the thing that was my biggest fear of being exposed on was the thing that made me attractive, but it also is the thing that made me repel other people away and draw criticism. So unfortunately it is the price that we pay.
• 16:10
  Now what can make that easier? Having a community of other people who are on the same wavelength. So for me, when I got that criticism, my beautiful friend, Doctor. Dan Mags, I always call him Doctor. Dan.
• 16:25
  Well, actually she's Dan to me, but, you know, my I I need to call it doctor Dan because he's done like, an insane amount of work to build up that credential to be a doctor. But I remember Dan, like, you know, he was saying to me, he was like, if ever you get criticized, you come to me. Come to me. Give me a call. We'll have a chat.
• 16:43
  And having those people around you is huge. And, you know, we've I had a brand new member come on to the the Next Level Coach membership, personal trainer. And he said to me, he said, you know, my biggest worry is that like, you know, I'm gonna be the only person talking about insulin and low carb diets and ketogenic diets. And I'm really scared to be criticized. So I said to him, I said, look, you know, very similar to kind of what I've said on this episode.
• 17:12
  I get where you're at. I understand how you feel. What I want you to do is put that in the group, put it into the community, and share your worry and your anxiety. And what was amazing was every single coach who is in the membership commented on that post saying, hey, remember, like, we're all in the same boat. We're all learning about insulin.
• 17:38
  We're all, you know, not just talking about the same stuff over and over again about calories in calories out. We're all going deep into this thing, but we have a secret weapon. Everyone else is gonna be left behind. You're a pioneer. You're talking about all of these sorts of things.
• 17:52
  And it was just coach after coach after coach. And for me, I felt so proud because I was like, that's what I want my membership to be all about. And for my amazing member, you know, he definitely felt some comfort that, right, I've got a support system around me. I'm not the only person. And I put in the group.
• 18:10
  I then said, hey. If anyone ever gets criticized on anything, I'm in your corner. I am in your corner. If anyone ever criticizes you on social media, let me know. Share the post, and I will fucking come after that person.
• 18:25
  And do you know why? I am so against criticism because who does it serve? It doesn't serve anyone. Like, you know, you see all of these, you know, PTs now and coaches who are, like, swinging about this big dick energy. And it's like, you know, you're you're putting someone down and you're pissing on someone's fire just to make yours bigger.
• 18:48
  The your only strategy to have the biggest building in town is to rip someone else's down. And the problem is that that has a cascading effect. And, you know, that that personal trainer who is ripping someone else down. So let's say I go and put up a piece of content that I really believe and could help someone. What happens is, let's say I go and get criticized that some personal trainer has gone like, well, I'm gonna go and make myself look big and make myself feel better about myself by ripping someone else down.
• 19:19
  So I go and rip someone else down. Now what happens? That then causes me to go into my shell. That then causes me to have this insane fear of putting myself out there, which means that my audience, the people who are following my content, and the people who potentially need me and need my help and my services, they're not going to receive value and content from me anymore because I'm not going to post content as much, which then means that that then has a ripple effect onto that person who desperately needs my coaching services to solve a pain that they have tried to solve for so many years. For what?
• 19:59
  Just so someone can feel a little bit better about themselves? You know? So I think first of all, I've always made it my absolute goal to go right. I'm not gonna criticize anyone because it doesn't serve anyone. How does it help me?
• 20:15
  Like, if anything actually makes me look like a bit of a dickhead. It makes me look like someone who the only way to kind of like deliver value and build a relationship is to piss on someone else. I don't think that's cool. And secondly, it has a negative impact on someone else because we're all shit scared of being criticized. We don't want it.
• 20:33
  It's not nice. It's horrible. And the thing is we're all just trying to do our best. We're all just trying to do our best. Do you know what I mean?
• 20:41
  So don't go and make it harder, and this isn't aimed at you listening. That's my my stance on, you know, these billy big bollocks people who think that it's cool to, you know, shit on someone else. So for you, if you're ever getting criticized or you're worried about your knowledge and you're like, you know, I'm gonna put this out there and I'm a little bit worried about it, just just come to me because I will give you a, one, like, a rational opinion that isn't based on emotion. I would say, do you know what? What you're what you're talking about, I get where you're coming from.
• 21:13
  However, have you potentially considered this? So, you know, if ever you are worried about the validation of the advice you're putting out there, either whether it's to your clients, whether it's on social media, please please come to me because you will get a judgment free, criticism free opinion. Not that my opinion is so important to you, but I get it. It's lonely. It's isolating.
• 21:38
  So there we go. Right then. Anyway, I'm gonna leave you with never forget. If every single one of your clients gave you just one new client, you have doubled your business. But but but but but but Question is, are you giving your clients a good enough reason to recommend you?