Latest / Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot / You Don't Need A New You 2/7: Aim, Don’t Force. The Fastest Runner Doesn't Always Win The Race. #TakeActionTuesday

Transcript

You Don't Need A New You 2/7: Aim, Don’t Force. The Fastest Runner Doesn't Always Win The Race. #TakeActionTuesday · Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot

• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: It's Take Action Tuesday, and you're here.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: You're here at the Sweet Spot, and I'm Dr.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: Derek Sweet.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so glad you're joining me for this series.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: We are in a beautiful series.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: The series is You Don't Need a New You.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you don't need a new you.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: So good day, good evening, good morning, good afternoon, beautiful souls, wherever you are.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: Sweet spotters, sweet ones, the sweet winners.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to the sweet spot, and I'm really glad we're spending a few minutes today just to run through this idea of you don't need a new you.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: Let's begin the way we always will this week.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need this new you because most of us are just not broken.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: We're tired, we're overstimulated, we're dealing with some grief, we're dealing with some financial setbacks, we're dealing with some challenges, some issues, things that haven't worked out.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: We're finally recognizing that man, it's bigger than me.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: I need something bigger than me, but we're not broken.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: We're not broken.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: We're not gonna confess that.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Dr.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: Derek Sweet.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a board certified psychiatrist, and yes, I work with people in high pressure environments, I work with athletes, I work with executives, first responders, students, I work with moms and dads, folks in high pressure situations.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: But more than that, I'm your fellow traveler.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: As I've said to you time and time again, I am sitting with you at the coffee table this morning, the coffee table of life, trying to make sense of how to live well, how to not just perform and say all the right things, but make good choices.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: Make sense of the choices that I've done over the thing we call time and help you make sense of that too.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yesterday, yesterday we talked about this grounding truth.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: You're not behind.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: You're not behind.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: Momentum starts with clarity, not panic.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, yesterday we talked about behold, I do a new thing, and how we can blow by that word behold so quickly, but in it is a lesson, is a revelation.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: Behold is about pausing.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: And so go back and listen to Making Moves Monday, yesterday, and really dig into the idea of pausing before you act.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: So today on Take Action Tuesday, I want to name something gently but clearly.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: Effort isn't the problem.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: Most of you listening are already trying.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: You show up, you push, you care, you grind.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and still some days it feels like all that effort doesn't move things forward as fast as you had hoped, as far as you would like it to go, and to have accomplished all the things you want to accomplish.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: Believe me, I know.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I'm asking myself, how am I gonna get it all done?
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: How am I gonna take action?
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: How am I gonna win this race?
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: How am I gonna run?
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: What am I gonna do?
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: And the thing about it is on the sweet spot, we have said that we are about science, soul, and success.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: So we always turn to the soul, to the ancient scriptures, to the ancient wisdom for some direction.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: And in the KJV, the King James version, uh, which I've been admonished to use more than the message Bible, even though I love the message Bible, uh, it says this in Ecclesiastes 9:11, no pun intended 911, right?
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: I returned and saw under the sun that the race is not for the swift, nor the battle for the strong.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: But time and chance happeneth to them all.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: That word happeneth is in the KJV.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: They don't play around with the English language, so they say happeneth.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: Okay?
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: But the bigger message is this the race is not for the swift, and the battle not always for the strong.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: And in the message Bible, and yes, I'm gonna include it, I like this version.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: It says that the Western Bible puts it this way the fastest runner doesn't always win the race, and the strongest warrior doesn't always win the battle.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: Bad luck happens to everybody.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: That's not discouraging.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: To me, that's pretty freeing.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: Time and chance happen to everybody.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: It's not why me, it's why not me.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: And here's the psychological insight.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: Under stress, our brains default to quantity over quality.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: We do more, faster, louder, longer.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: Don't know about you, but when I'm stressed, I tend to get busier and busier and busier and do more.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: My mom is always telling me, slow down, Derek, you gotta slow down.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: And she's right, because sometimes when that stress hits, I'm not even aware that I'm going for quantity over quality, doing more, faster, louder, longer.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: But cognitive psychology shows us that when we do that kind of thing that I was doing there, effort without guidance.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: When you have effort, lots of effort with no guidance, it can drain your energy without improving the outcome.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and you can mistake your activity for advancement.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: You see, effort is a kind of fuel, it's a kind of energy.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: Action is what's the steering wheel.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: So let's make it practical.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: There are three ways to apply this today, right?
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: Your efforts and your actions.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: First, before you start your day, name one action that actually matters to you.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: Not the longest list, not the loudest task, just one thing that, if done well today, will make this day feel honest and make you feel, wow, I have done it.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: You gotta have that in your mind first.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: So you can be grounded.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: What is that thing?
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: And second, reduce all the friction around that particular action that you chose.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: That might mean that you have to turn off notifications on your phone so you can get this done.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: It could mean that you have to say no to one unnecessary conversation.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: Or doing the hardest thing first.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: Doing the hardest thing first.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: Doing the hardest thing first.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: My this is hilarious.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: My uh Alexa's acting up.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: Doing the hardest thing first while your energy is still clean.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: There's a book, I can't remember it.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's called, I think it's it's Eat the Frog, right?
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like if you have a list of things to do, and on that list of things is eat a frog, you know that's what you gotta do first on the list because it's the thing you definitely don't want to do and it won't get done.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: Okay?
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: So, yeah, reduce the friction around the action that you want to take.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: And then the third thing is stop when the action is complete.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: Now, this is very important.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: Don't just keep pushing just to prove that you have more effort in you.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: Precision, especially for my athletes listening.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: Precision includes knowing when enough is enough.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: Don't go past the point where you're gonna destroy muscle or you're gonna destroy the gains.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: So the first thing is you have to identify what the action is that really matters.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: The second thing, reduce the friction and the distractions around that action and make sure it happens.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: And the third thing is when you're done with it, stop.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: That's what acting with intention looks like on Take Action Tuesday here on the sweet spot.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: So let me say this with love.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need more discipline today, you don't need more pressure, you don't need to earn extra rest by becoming exhausted so that you can rest.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: You need to aim, not force.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: Aim the bow and arrow.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: Don't just keep shooting and shooting and shooting.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: Do you get that?
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: I know you do.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: Take a breath with me.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: In through your nose.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: Hold.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: And slowly out through your mouth.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: Let the exhale be longer than the inhale so you can reset your entire nervous system so you can take the action today on Take Action Tuesday.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: So tomorrow, my friend, tomorrow is Win It All Wednesday, and we're going to talk about energy.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, why you don't win weeks or seasons all at once.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: What you have to do is win moments.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not gonna say more about that.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: We'll talk about that tomorrow.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: So if this conversation helped you today, my friend, please subscribe.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: It's free, there's no charge.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: Okay?
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: And if you know someone, you know someone who's working hard but feeling stuck, I want you to share today's message with them.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: Until tomorrow, my beautiful sweet masters.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to be kind to yourself, I want you to be intentional with your effort.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: And remember, you are valuable, you are worthy, you are amazing, you are extraordinary.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: And if I hadn't said that to you, I'm saying it to you now.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need a new you.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: Let's build and work with what we have.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: We can improve things, we can do things better, but we don't need to be a new us.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: Amen?
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: All right now.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: This is the sweet spot, and we will see you tomorrow for When It All Wednesday.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Dr.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: Sweet, and I'm out.