Latest / The FEEL Podcast: Women’s Empowerment, Emotional Wellness and Self-Leadership with Melissa Crook / Healing After Trauma: Mind, Body & Soul Recovery with Karen Robinson

Transcript

Healing After Trauma: Mind, Body & Soul Recovery with Karen Robinson · The FEEL Podcast: Women’s Empowerment, Emotional Wellness and Self-Leadership with Melissa Crook

0:00
I have found if you're a survivor of trauma or a lot of
0:03
wounds, we tend to numb our emotions.
0:06
We get numb and we often numb with food, smoking, drinking,
0:11
shopping, gambling, sex, pornography, overworking, you
0:20
know, And so when we're doing these things, we're kind of
0:24
numbing our emotions, choosing to stop those and really just
0:29
sit with the emotions. The, the research is showing the
0:33
emotion can pass as, in as little as 9 seconds.
0:38
And it's so crazy to me that we will avoid, avoid, avoid those 9
0:43
seconds. And we give that so much power
0:47
when the truth is, if we just sit in the feeling, acknowledge
0:51
it, you know, be kind to the inner child inside of us that's
0:55
kind of hurting and doing some soothing work, then that can be
1:00
huge for emotional health. Hello field podcast audience.
1:04
Welcome back today. I'm Melissa Crook, your host.
1:07
I'm so glad to be here with you. I've got a friend that I got to
1:10
be on her podcast a while back and we met through our friends
1:15
at pod match and I'm now happy to be able to bring her on.
1:19
I, like I told her earlier on to my side of the Vince and share
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her story with you and her why behind this work that she does,
1:26
the way she shows up in the world supporting herself and
1:29
other women unapologetically and our healing, thriving journeys.
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And that's a clue to what's to come in the name of her podcast.
1:38
Karen Robinson, welcome you so much to the Field podcast.
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I'm so happy to have you here with me.
1:45
You described yourself as authentic, genuine and
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compassionate. I love those.
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And you, you said those to me. Just those are my favorite ones.
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And like, I love to hear people talk about themselves in that
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way. Well, first, thank you for
2:01
hosting me today. Absolutely, absolutely.
2:05
Let's get right into it. Let's talk about prioritizing
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self-care in your life and what that has looked like for you,
2:13
how your journey in that area has unfolded.
2:18
Yes, it's a beautiful question. To start with.
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I will be very transparent and say I am so much better at
2:27
preaching to other people to do their deeper self-care
2:30
practices. I have been on the struggle bus
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to get myself to do them forever.
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I am a work in progress but I have a list and I try to hit
2:41
three to four of them a day. I have a list of 6 core ones
2:45
that I have come up. Why I didn't come up with them,
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I shouldn't say it that way. That have been instilled in me
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by my past therapist and coaches.
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Like these are the ones that you really want to kind of focus on.
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So I'm happy to share those if you would like me to.
3:01
Absolutely. Yes.
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OK. So the very first one, sometimes
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people cringe about it, but there's a lot of science and
3:09
evidence around why it's so powerful, and that's getting in
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the habit of journaling, OK. When we think about things in
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our head, they sort of go in a circular pattern.
3:19
We don't get very deep no matter how smart you are, but when you
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put pen to paper, you're, you're uncovering the layers, you're
3:27
going deeper, especially if you keep asking yourself why, Well,
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why do I feel this way? Why?
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Why am I thinking this? Like who am I resenting?
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What's going on? What's my part in this scenario?
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It just takes us to a deeper level.
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So I really try. The goal is daily for five to 10
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minutes. It's for me though, it's more
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like every other day, every 3rd day.
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So it's still better than nothing, right?
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Yes, yes #1. The next two that I feel like
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are more on the spiritual realm or philosophical realm or both,
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and that is prayer or talking to your higher power or even your
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inner wisdom that lives inside of you and #3 is either
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spiritual reading or inspirational reading.
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And I'm struggling with perfectionism.
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So I met with my coach for this recently.
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I said I've been missing my reading.
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And she's like, what's going on? And I'm like, oh, just time.
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Like because I obviously have to read out of three or four
4:25
different books. She's like, how about just one
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book for 10 minutes? So yes, if you're like me, try
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not to be perfectionistic with yourself care, but inspirational
4:37
reading can really uplift you for the day.
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So that's number three. Number four is doing a walk, and
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this isn't not, this isn't necessarily for the exercise of
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walking, but to be out in nature, sunlight, gently moving
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your body. And this is when you can pray or
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talk to your inner wisdom as well.
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But it may be a meditative walk. So it's #4 #5 is getting
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support. This could be your therapist,
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your coach, your friend, but it means actually talking and
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opening up to people, right? It can be support, support
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group, online even, or Facebook group.
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So that's number five. And number six is the top one.
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And it's my hardest one because I've overcomplicated it.
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And that's meditation. When people meditate, Well,
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first of all, monks and the people that meditate on the
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regular, they don't have anxiety.
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They just OK. I was talking to this intern one
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time. I he was Coley No, he was
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observing a Group A treat maker by was leading and he was
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talking to me and I'm like running around getting my papers
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off the copier for the group, getting my water filled.
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I'm I'm jumping right and he's talking to me so slowly.
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I looked at him. I go you meditate, don't you?
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So obvious. We were so different.
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So my goal is to meditate more consistently.
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My treatment program they recommend 20 minutes twice a
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day. I'm not there yet but I am
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working towards it. So those are my self cares.
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I love those and I love how you have a menu because each day is
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a little different and each day you might need some things more
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than others. And so being able to tap into
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that and pull from that list what you really feeling like is
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going to serve you and support you that day.
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And I think it also helps it not become a checklist item because
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I was, I had I really struggled with that early on and my
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therapist was like, this needs to not be a checklist item.
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This needs to be something you mindfully connect with.
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And if starting to feel like a checklist item, we need to
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revisit whether it's actually helping you and supporting you
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or not. Like because I too struggle with
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like, well, look what I did, look what I did, I got a den,
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but I don't feel any less hyper vigilant or shit I did an hour
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ago. So yeah, that ability to
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connect. And I'd love the curiosity piece
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in your journaling. I am a big proponent.
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I talk a lot about curiosity over judgment when we start
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asking ourselves questions and getting curious about roots of
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things so we can get to the actual answers versus all the
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thoughts swirling in our head that we're treating is truth.
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That may just be narratives that we need to retire or they're
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just stirred up but don't have any actually bases in them or
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something that's a clue that needs to be walked through and
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healed from so. Beautiful.
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Yeah, yeah. So thank you so much for those.
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So good. Talk to me about you got to make
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space for these things. So talk to me about confidently
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setting boundaries in your life, allowing yourself the space to
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make sure you're accessing these and they become, you know,
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something that doesn't get kicked off the calendar.
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These questions feel so hard sometimes.
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I know, I know, I know. We have.
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We we do the things that we need the most for ourselves first.
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But a novel idea that would be right.
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OK, so I can talk about my intentions versus my reality.
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And my goal is for those to actually match up better.
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I'm very imperfect therapist. I will say that you know what,
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my intentions are good. OK, Yeah.
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So when this when my boundaries work the best, it is I am
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getting up earlier in my house and everybody else and and
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protecting that time to get myself care completed now,
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because that's sometimes hit and miss for me because I am also a
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complex trauma survivor. Sometimes my sleep is off.
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A lot of times my sleep is off. Also menopause sleep is off.
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So what I. I know that one.
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I try to have other points in the day for it, and I'm also in
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my own treatment and one of the treatment programs I'm in, we
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have what's called the writing room that's offered twice a
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week. So I do my best to be there.
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I try to protect that time. So that's two days a week.
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I know I'm writing right? And then I, I try to think
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about, OK, here's a window of time.
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Yes, I could get something done on my To Do List, but what's
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going to serve me better? And then I think of what
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self-care would really benefit me right now.
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You know, when it's so hot outside, I'm like, OK, I get 20
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minutes before my client, why not go around the block a few
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times just to move? And sometimes it can just feel.
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Good. To just be outside and move
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right. I hope I answered that.
10:01
I still have worked to do injury question for sure because I do.
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I do tend to put people before myself, which is not unusual for
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survivors. And it's not unusual, yes,
10:14
women. And it's not unusual for people
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pleasers to do that. Look at yourself.
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Look to see if any of those fit you.
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Yes, because we'll talk about layers later, but you've just
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mentioned the layers, the impact, the decisions we make
10:28
for ourselves where we put ourselves in the spectrum of
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things and all the narratives and societal expectations that
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come into play with that. But I think that that mindful
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awareness and giving ourselves grace in it, because I hear you,
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like I tell women all the time, I've got this framework.
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It really supports me. Well, I'm bearing the fruit of
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that. It can support you well too.
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But it's also there to get you back on the tracks because
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you're going to fall off the tracks.
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Some days you're going to violate your own boundaries.
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You're going to forget to communicate your expectations
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because you're tired or cranky. You're going to miss you're
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going to not, you know, some days you're going to be like, I
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cannot do this, you know, body movement at work out today, but
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they also that's honoring your body and where you are in that
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day. Maybe you need rest that day,
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you need sleep, you know, so but you know, it's like really
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trying to take the pressures off ourselves because we're so we
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are so used to being affirmed for performance because that's
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what society has taught us of taking the.
11:30
Pressure off of that. And allowing ourselves just to
11:33
be in it and giving ourselves grace when we miss and know that
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that OK, tomorrow's a new day. Yeah.
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Absolutely. Yeah.
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It's all over again. It's a new beginning.
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Absolutely, absolutely. All right.
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Talk to me about taking care of your emotional health, mental
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health, physical health, that it's, that's already a complex
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thing for women. It's a even more complex thing
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when you're a complex trauma survivor.
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So talk to me about your journey with that.
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You're asking for mental, emotional and physical.
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Yeah, those connections and how they feed off of each other and
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what you've learned about that. Yeah, really great question.
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So our mental health is more like our thought process.
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My work in this area for myself and for my clients is really
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studying and tracking the negative thoughts that you have
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about yourself, about others, and about the world we live in.
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And then the next thing I do after we track that is I help
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people organize their thoughts into buckets.
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And they're based on core beliefs.
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There's 10 core beliefs that people tend to have if they have
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any symptoms of depression, anger, anxiety.
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And an example of a core belief is I'm worthless, right?
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And that it's supposed to be the depressed person that kind of
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struggles that. And this the important piece to
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remember is not always in the front of the brain.
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It's sometimes deeper in the subconscious, you know, so you
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see friends so sabotaging a lot or or making decisions that
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you're not proud of it. It's possible that you have some
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core belief work to be done. So that's that's one is OK.
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So we organize those into buckets.
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And then I teach analytical skills for our mental health or
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thought process. And my favorite way to do this
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is called cognitive behavioral therapy.
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And I use five different analytical tools.
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And most people by the time they're finished with those,
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they're like, OK, I get it. My brain is not logical.
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Here's some logical beliefs that I can wrap my head around and
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get behind. And then of course, it's it's
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practicing those. So that's mental.
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Yeah. The emotional piece I have found
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if you're a survivor of trauma or a lot of wounds, we tend to
14:02
numb our emotions. We get numb and we often numb
14:05
with food, smoking, drinking, shopping, gambling, sex,
14:11
pornography, overworking, you know, And so when we're doing
14:20
these things, we're kind of numbing our emotions, choosing
14:24
to stop those and really just sit with the emotions.
14:28
The, the research is showing the emotion can pass is in as little
14:33
as 9 seconds. And it's so crazy to me that we
14:38
will avoid, avoid, avoid those 9 seconds.
14:42
And we give that so much power when the truth is, if we just
14:46
sit in the feeling, acknowledge it, you know, be kind to the
14:50
inner child inside of us as kind of hurting and doing some
14:55
soothing work, then that can be huge for emotional health.
14:58
And of course, I think is a huge piece of this for treating
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emotional health. Yeah.
15:04
The third area of the physical health, what's fascinating about
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our physical health is if our mental and our emotional health
15:13
is in danger or jeopardy, it can really impact our physical
15:18
bodies, right? And we have to remember that
15:20
we're one system. Everything is connected.
15:23
Our spirituality is connected, even our relationships, that's
15:26
all interconnected. And so don't take care of
15:31
ourselves. Everything in our body can be
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impacted. This is from the top of our head
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down to the bottom and of our feet, the tip of our toes.
15:41
I will. Now I know this podcast is not
15:44
being published until November, so I'm going to talk about this
15:49
series. I'm doing as this as this is in
15:52
the past, but also in November when we're released, it will
15:56
also be in the future. I'm doing.
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I'm doing a series for the first time.
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Summer 2025 is called Healing Our Bodies After Trauma and it's
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a series of 11 sessions that talks about the different
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systems of the body, how trauma or wounding impacts it, and also
16:16
how to heal. I will be offering the series
16:19
again in 2026 in the summer. And my goal is each year that
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Ioffer you only pay one time when you get it free.
16:27
Every summer. My goal is how to get it to be
16:32
better and better. So inviting guest experts.
16:34
So if you know, an endocrinologist can come and
16:38
speak about our our endocrine system, I'm going to have a
16:41
neurologist come talk about what happens with our neurological
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system, you know, and so forth. So I'm very excited about that
16:48
because we have not paid enough attention to how our winding
16:54
impacts our physical health. Yeah, yeah, such a huge piece.
17:00
And if we and getting our, the people we work with in the
17:03
medical world to ask the collective questions about
17:07
what's going on with our bodies instead of treating these things
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all as separate systems because it's all connected.
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I love that you're doing this. This is such an important piece
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of people's healing. And also like, oh, actually if
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I'm able to heal this and bring this together, the high blood
17:24
pressure subsides. I mean, that's just one example.
17:26
That's something that I dealt with that it wasn't so much that
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I had a high blood pressure problem.
17:31
I had all these other unhealed places that were bringing up
17:35
anxiousness and hyper vigilance that needed to be addressed and
17:39
acknowledged so they could settle.
17:41
So the all of a sudden my nervous system settled and my
17:44
blood pressure settled. So yeah, I thank you so much for
17:47
that. That's so good.
17:48
I'm excited to hear more about that and that that's possible
17:51
because you're spot on with that.
17:53
So true. Thank you.
17:55
And this really that offering your podcast, your work, as with
18:00
clients, therapists, really speaks to how you show up for
18:03
yourself and other women in living unapologetically.
18:08
And it and it's just owning and being accountable of where you
18:11
are today and providing resources and inviting others
18:15
into the conversation of what's possible when you have the
18:19
resources and the knowledge and the support you need to to do
18:25
exactly what you talk about, heal, thrive and dream.
18:28
Talk to me about the evolution of you understanding I not only
18:32
can be a resource for myself, but I can be a resource.
18:35
For others as well, well, I can't remember the exact saying
18:42
right now, so I'll butcher it, but the the gist of it is
18:46
uplifted women uplift other women.
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I know that as a complex trauma survivor, how important other
18:55
people were in in uplifting me and what the work I had to do to
19:01
in order to feel uplifted. And it's, it's not easy work.
19:06
It doesn't have to be complicated.
19:08
We, we tend to over complicate things.
19:10
But it, it is a decision that I am going to heal no matter what.
19:16
I'm going to invest in my self-care.
19:19
I'm going to invest in my health.
19:22
I'm going to invest in travel because it gives me joy and I
19:26
love being around other cultures and learning about new people.
19:31
I'm going to continue to be charitable because that also
19:34
lifts me up and the more money I give away, the more it comes up.
19:39
So those are kind of my thoughts on that.
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I don't know if you have a follower.
19:45
What the? No, that's really, really
19:47
helpful. And it was there a moment in
19:49
time where you determined that you wanted to go down this road.
19:53
Did you always know that you wanted to work with clients?
19:56
Did you all that? Was that always a core part of
19:58
you? Or is there kind of an epiphany
20:00
life moment that helped you realize that was the road you
20:02
were feeling called to? And also in starting the
20:05
podcast. All right.
20:07
So it's yes and yes and yes. So I always kind of knew I would
20:12
be in a helping profession. Like there was evidence, like on
20:15
the playground, I was mediating conflict as a young child.
20:20
You know, when it can't we all get along kind of mentality.
20:24
I've always been a proponent of social justice and treating
20:28
people with dignity and respect. That's always been huge for me.
20:32
There was a pivotal moment in my complex family system where
20:37
there was domestic violence, there was poverty, there was
20:40
child abuse, there was neglect. I well, two things happened. 1,
20:47
I had a suicide attempt and I survived that.
20:50
So I thought that meant something, that I survived it.
20:53
And the second thing is I ran away from home.
20:57
And when I ran away from home, I was assigned a social worker who
21:01
was not empathetic, not compassionate, judgmental,
21:07
accused me of doing drugs, accused me of being promiscuous,
21:11
accused me of being a problem for my parents.
21:14
And I was like, I get it. I get to be different than this.
21:18
I, I got to do this job and I got to do this job differently
21:23
because that did not feel good. Yeah.
21:25
And so that was a pivotal moment.
21:27
So yes. And yes.
21:28
And yes. Yeah.
21:29
Thank you so much for sharing that.
21:31
And yeah, I think those things, those events, those really
21:34
difficult things that form our lives, especially at such young
21:39
ages, have such an impact later on when it comes to defining our
21:43
why and values behind our work. And that has clearly become
21:47
something that, you know, you also instinctually had in
21:50
yourself. But then that added to that
21:53
layer of, OK, this is what motivates me.
21:56
This is what gets me up in the morning, This is what I value,
21:58
and this is where I'm going to pour my time into.
22:01
And the fact that you were able to connect all those things and
22:04
take those. Really really pops that things
22:08
and also be like OK through this is what I've learned about me
22:12
and now I can turn over and help others learn that about
22:15
themselves. That's right.
22:19
And I love that we're podcasting too because, well, I've been a
22:24
therapist a really, really, really, really long time now.
22:28
And you know, when you're a therapist on one-on-one
22:30
sessions, you can only have so much, so many people that you
22:34
can have in the tag cast. It just allows us an opportunity
22:39
to have an impact on more, on more people.
22:42
Yeah, and and also for us coming together and, and highlighting
22:47
each other's voices because the more we can do that, the more of
22:51
us that can show up in this space can let more people know
22:54
and more people have access because different people are
22:56
going to tap into different things.
22:58
So it's, I think it's such a beautiful community that we're
23:01
creating out there to make like we need all of you part of the
23:05
conversation and we need to highlight these voices and let
23:08
people know we exist so they can access and then from there
23:13
determine if they need additional support on top of
23:16
what we're talking to them about.
23:17
But maybe it gives, you know, an invitation or helps them to feel
23:21
safe when we're sharing about these things that we've gone
23:25
through and also the resources that we've found and now have
23:28
are making available to others. That's right, using our voices
23:34
to help other people raise their voice.
23:37
Yeah, absolutely. I mean, so that's women
23:40
supporting women unapologetically and also all of
23:43
us living authentically out of that wine, those widened values
23:46
and honoring that, which leads nicely into living out of our
23:48
own expectations for others. We're honoring ourselves by
23:52
doing this. We're defining what our
23:53
expectations are. And that's hard, especially
23:56
coming it's up as a woman, a girl and a woman in the world.
24:00
And then you add in the messages you're getting when you come
24:03
from an abusive household. That's a whole other layer of
24:07
things you have to unpack about what how you believe you're
24:10
supposed to show up in the world versus what's actually true
24:15
about who you're created to be. So talk to me kind of your about
24:18
your understanding of that, being able to really move to a
24:23
space now where you truly are living out of your own
24:25
expectations. Yeah, I think the biggest way
24:31
for me is my writing. I have written chapters in
24:37
Anthem book anthology, several at this point.
24:39
And right now I'm working on my own memoir.
24:43
It's half memoir, half healing method, how I work with trauma
24:49
survivors and the different techniques I use.
24:53
And so I think that's the the biggest thing for me.
24:57
I know that I had a family member stop talking to me when
25:03
one of the anthologies came out and it was really surprised.
25:07
Like I wasn't surprising about the, the concept of a family
25:10
member not talking to me anymore.
25:12
It was, it was first of all, I was on the wrong side of the
25:15
family that I thought would be upset with me.
25:18
And, and it was somebody who didn't read what I wrote, you
25:22
know, heard it like second and third hand and then they didn't
25:25
talk to me about it. And I, I learned in that moment
25:30
that, yes, that's stung, that if I'm going to be honest, it's
25:34
stung. But it's not going to stop me
25:38
from telling my story because I'm not just telling my story to
25:43
use my voice. It's because I, I believe it can
25:46
really empower other survivors to share their story.
25:49
And that is way bigger than losing a relationship that
25:55
wasn't, I'm not going to say, worthy of being cultivated.
26:00
And that was my first instinct. That's not quite right.
26:04
It's a relationship that probably wasn't in my best.
26:09
Interest, right? Yeah, yeah.
26:13
I mean that healthy relationship that that sees you and meets you
26:17
where you are and honors that. And I think when you get those
26:20
responses, because I'm familiar with that, I've had my own
26:24
experience with those kinds of things, it's it's really more
26:27
telling about their journey than yours.
26:30
It you know it, You know, And so I think you and you've learned
26:33
that through the process and learned to like, I trust in
26:36
myself, honoring myself. That's more about their journey
26:40
than it is about mine that brought up something in them.
26:44
It's not mine to fix, solve or apologize for.
26:47
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, go ahead.
26:49
Yeah, go ahead, go ahead. Yeah.
26:57
I it's sometimes hard with when we're podcast hosting guests
27:01
that sometimes a lag and you don't want to talk over each
27:03
other. So you saw us do that.
27:08
I think what really helps me to see those pieces that you're
27:11
talking about is through the journaling, Like when you write
27:14
about like why you're resenting someone and you look at, you
27:18
know, the whole relationship and you look at your part and you
27:22
look like is, is there maybe a reason why they're acting this
27:27
way or feeling this way? And of course, it goes back to
27:29
their own wounding, right? Their own traumas, their own
27:33
perceptions. And so then that helps us to be
27:35
compassionate with people who we may not be seeing eye to eye
27:39
with. So I think that can be really
27:41
powerful. Too.
27:42
Yeah, absolutely, 100%. Thank you so much for that.
27:45
Talk to me about accepting the layered aspects of ourselves,
27:51
all those pieces and parts that make up who we are, who you are,
27:55
all the parts you know and you come.
27:57
You've got some tough pieces of your story in your life.
28:01
You've got some layers that are difficult to navigate.
28:05
And what I have learned in in my journey is that if I've got to
28:09
be able to get to a point of being curious rather than
28:12
judgmental about my layers, and it's goes back to that nine
28:16
second thing you were talking about earlier.
28:18
Quit pushing those things aside. Give them room.
28:21
Take the shame off of that. Get curious, allow them to be
28:24
acknowledged. You don't have to love them all.
28:26
That's not realistic nor healthy.
28:28
But but at point of acknowledgement where you're not
28:31
stopping, ignoring, denying anymore because then it's that
28:36
you're able to really tap into your value and value and who you
28:39
are and all the parts of your story story and the, and what
28:43
you're doing with that today and the choices you have and the
28:46
accountability you have in your own journey to move forward and
28:49
heal in a way that allows you to show up as the healthiest
28:53
authentic version of yourself. But it's hard work.
28:55
It's hard to tap into those layers.
28:57
So talk to me about your layers journey.
29:02
Well, I decided that it's OK to be complicated and layered so
29:08
that it's just accepting that about myself is helpful.
29:12
It helps me to recognize it in others too.
29:15
Like I think when people do bad things, we label them as bad
29:20
people instead of looking at their actions.
29:23
And that's. Like it's so confusing because
29:25
people are not just bad. People aren't just good.
29:29
Like we're very nuanced. And so seeing myself as being
29:34
very imperfect and accepting and choosing to love myself anyway,
29:40
that can be really powerful. So what helps me with that
29:44
journey is self compassion. I recommend anything that Doctor
29:49
Neff, Kristen Neff writes about self compassion is is here to
29:54
having more growth for myself, knowing that mistakes are
29:59
actually really part of the human experience.
30:03
It's OK to make mistakes. It's OK to learn and grow from
30:07
their mistakes. That's that's kind of been my
30:10
journey. I love that.
30:13
I love that I that identity piece you brought up in
30:16
redefining. I'm not a bad person made maybe
30:21
made a bad decision or decision could even be a stupid decision.
30:25
That doesn't make you or the person stupid bad.
30:30
You know, whatever and taking that identity piece off of it
30:34
and attaching it instead of making it personal, attaching it
30:37
to the action and decision that was made.
30:39
That changes everything and how we see ourselves, but also how
30:42
we. See other people?
30:44
Exactly. Yeah, yeah, So good.
30:47
Thank you so much for that. All right in living out feel,
30:51
finding empowerment, embracing layers which your journey is a
30:55
whole story of. Talk to me about how this has
30:58
impacted your relationship with yourself as well as your
31:01
relationship with other people. So I I want to just get
31:07
clarification on your question first.
31:10
Yeah, yeah. Tell me a little bit more about
31:12
that beginning piece. The finding empowerment,
31:15
embracing layers. So the acronym for the podcast
31:18
is feel, and I really define this whole talking points that
31:22
we went through that journey in finding your empowerment, your
31:25
choices, and embracing all your beautiful complex layers.
31:29
Being able to see yourself as the nuanced, unique, valuable
31:34
person that you are. That then impacts your
31:37
relationship with yourself as well as your relationships with
31:41
other people. For example, you were able to
31:43
identify earlier with that relative, this is probably not a
31:46
healthy relationship to have in my life.
31:48
When you see yourself from that value standpoint, you're able to
31:51
identify those things and make sure that you're not only
31:55
showing up in relations healthy, but also allowing relationships
31:59
in that are healthy. Yeah, thank you.
32:03
I have a a better idea how to answer that now.
32:05
OK. Yeah, I, I feel that my
32:08
empowerment journey has really grown over the years and it's
32:14
amazing being a therapist and a survivor and how that will show
32:20
up because like I, I get lots and lots of self training and
32:24
professional training, right? And so I do, I do believe my
32:29
empowerment has really enhanced and that shows up like, I
32:34
deserve to go get this massage. I work hard, my body's achy.
32:39
I want to do this for myself. I'm going to do this for myself,
32:43
you know, and, and prioritizing that is very empowering, how it
32:47
tends to show up for others. I feel like it's mainly and
32:51
well, I'm imperfect at this, but it's made me a real advocate,
32:56
especially my children. Like I'm a Mama bear and I, I
32:59
really have two daughters and son and I want them to feel
33:03
empowered in their skin to advocate for themselves, for
33:07
others. And I love my children's hearts
33:10
and how compassionate they are to others.
33:12
How giving just their their capacity to empower themselves.
33:19
Like they'll, they'll speak up and say, no, I mean, there were
33:23
some progress. I don't want to say they got it
33:25
now because that wouldn't be quite true either.
33:28
It shows up. It also it shows up for me.
33:30
Like I, I, I like to say I kissed a lot of frogs in my
33:33
early life. I'm someone that with my complex
33:37
trauma, I had a couple failed marriages in my history.
33:41
It's not, of course, fun to talk about, but I'm I'm past the
33:45
point where it's easier and I don't clean the shame around it
33:49
as much, right, Because I, I know it's just those
33:53
relationships actually were supposed to happen because of my
33:56
growth and what I learned through them.
33:59
But as a result of going through those, my empowerment of what I
34:04
need in a relationship is so much stronger.
34:08
So now I'm Mary, just you. Is that a healthier match for
34:11
me? You know, that was a lot of work
34:16
on my part, like really figuring out what would be a healthy
34:18
relationship for me. And he allows allows is not
34:23
really the right word. But he I guess supports me and
34:27
doing the things I love writing, doing my podcast, traveling the
34:33
world and doing these cool things.
34:35
Like he's supportive of that. Yeah, yeah, He embraces all of
34:40
that in you. I I think that's such a yeah.
34:44
And thank you for sharing that. I think it's so important to
34:46
realize that relationships can be bumpy.
34:49
And as we're learning about ourselves and healing ourselves,
34:52
we're going to hit some bumps along the road in those
34:55
relationships. They're seasonal this, but we
34:57
learn and we grow. We move forward from that and
34:59
not being so hard on ourselves, you know, showing ourselves that
35:02
compassion and seeing the evolution and understanding.
35:05
I mean, I think I've, when I first started my journey, I was
35:07
like, I'm going to go do this for six months and then I'm
35:10
going to be great. And it's like, that is not how
35:12
it works. It's just not how that goes.
35:15
And learning to, you know, to and see those, those different
35:19
seasons for what they were and how I continued to learn and
35:23
unlearn and move forward. So thank you so much for that.
35:25
So good. All right, talk to me about 5
35:30
activities that nourish you. Five activities.
35:35
OK, well, we've done some of this already.
35:38
Maybe you mean, oh, OK, so let's do these outside of self-care.
35:42
OK. I'm an avid reader.
35:44
I read all the time. Reading lights me up.
35:47
So reading, traveling, I want to see dancing.
35:51
I'm not doing enough of that yet.
35:52
But that's kind of a goal is do more of that.
35:56
I'm spending time with my children and my partner.
36:01
And then the fifth one, I know it's probably not considered an
36:06
activity per SE, but I really love it.
36:09
And that's taking a nap. Oh, I love that.
36:14
Yeah, that's in it, Absolutely. And an important one.
36:17
And I love that you mention that because I think we need to
36:21
change the narrative around nap taking.
36:24
There's such. I mean, I think if we see,
36:26
especially the generations before us these ideas of what
36:30
working versus not working, being productive versus not
36:33
being productive, we throw around the word, we treat rest
36:38
and we use the word lazy instead.
36:40
And it's like, no, it's honoring my body where she is and what
36:45
she needs. And I'm going to pay attention
36:48
to that and honor that. Because when I do that, when I
36:51
do show up and start doing the things I'm doing in the spaces
36:55
I'm doing them, I'm so much more effective.
36:57
I'm refreshed, I'm ready to go. It doesn't take me twice as long
37:01
to do something because I'm able to think clearly and show up
37:05
refreshed in it. So I'm so glad you mentioned
37:08
that. I think that is kind of the
37:09
secret power, like man, 20 to 30 minute power nap that does a
37:13
world of good for so many people and looking at countries across
37:18
the world that embrace that and and like, you know, it's siesta
37:22
time. Maybe we should all have siesta
37:24
time. I.
37:27
Agree with you, yes. Yeah, absolutely.
37:30
So good. All right, 5 words on how you
37:32
want to feel the next six months.
37:38
OK, Inspired. Energetic, gratitude.
37:48
Healthy. Oh, why not say enlightened?
37:55
Oh yeah. Absolutely.
37:59
I love that we're always learning, always growing.
38:01
Absolutely. I love that so much.
38:03
All right, Carrie, let people where they can know, where they
38:06
can find you and follow you, listen to you, get your
38:10
resources. This will also be on our website
38:12
at embracinglayers.com on the resources page, but let our
38:16
listeners know right now how they can do that.
38:20
Sure, my website is Heal Thrive dream.com.
38:25
I'm also happy to accept emails from people if you have specific
38:29
questions. That's Heal Thrive,
38:31
dream@gmail.com. I'm on sub stack medium, but
38:38
where else? LinkedIn, you know?
38:40
Feel free to connect with me, interact with me, ask me
38:43
questions, let me know how I can support you all.
38:46
Right. Great.
38:47
Thank you so much for that. Any final thoughts you'd like to
38:50
leave with our listeners today? I would like to say if you're
38:56
listening and today doesn't feel like such a good day, just
39:00
remember that there's hope and tomorrow you can start that
39:04
feeling all over again. Like if you feel like OK, I
39:07
cannot possibly feel any better today, go to bed knowing that
39:12
you can choose to wake up feeling really good the next
39:15
day. Thank you so much for that.
39:17
Yeah, it's a lot of times. Sometimes sleep is a great
39:20
elixir for that, too. So good, man.
39:23
Thank. You.
39:23
So much, yeah. Thank you much, Karen, for your
39:27
time today, for how you show up in the world, how you support
39:30
women. These are such important
39:32
resources that you're offering the way you're honoring yourself
39:35
and your why and your values in that.
39:37
I appreciate you so much. Listeners, take take a look at
39:40
these resources. Take good care of yourselves.
39:43
Know that there's always possibilities in tomorrow.
39:47
Today's top, keep moving forward, take good care of
39:50
yourselves, and we'll see you next time here on the Field
39:53
podcast. Thank you.
39:56
You bet. Hello and thank you so much for
39:59
being with us today on this episode of the Feel podcast.
40:04
If you would like more information on how you can apply
40:08
these talking points that I share with our guests in each
40:11
episode to your own life, really utilize this Feel framework, go
40:17
to embracinglayers.com, fill out our contact form, and let's set
40:22
up a free 30 minute consultation to talk about.
40:26
How you can start living your most authentic, organic,
40:31
healthy, feel fueled life. Thanks again for being with us
40:35
today. We'll be back to you soon with
40:37
another episode here on the Feel Podcast.