Latest / Hardiness with Dr Paul Taylor / Mojo Monday - How to Reframe Stress With Carly Taylor

Transcript

Mojo Monday - How to Reframe Stress With Carly Taylor · Hardiness with Dr Paul Taylor

• 0:09
  Speaker 1: Hey, everyone, it's Carly Taylor here and welcome back to
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: you this week's Mojo Monday. So today I want to
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: talk about something that can really shift how we experience stress,
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: and that's whether we see it as a challenge or
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: whether we see it as a threat. And this comes
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: from the heartiness research that Paul has been doing for
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: many years now, and we actually did a podcast together
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: on the ninth of June on this very subject. So
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: if it does spark your interest, go back and have
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: a listen to it, because it's really interesting hearing it
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: from his perspective as well and from his research. But
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: here's the thing. Not all stress is bad, and it
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: may feel like it, but we actually need a certain
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: level of stress to create momentum in life. And stress
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: is simply your body gearing up to respond or whatever
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: situation that you're in. So you might feel your heart race,
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: or your breathing changes, or you have that rush of
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: adrenaline in your body. It's your system saying something important
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: is happening here, we need to do something. But how
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: you interpret that stress can make all the difference to
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: what you do next. And I've been really intentional about
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: applying this in my own life, and it really has
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: made such a difference with how I think about stressful
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: situations and also what I do so how I respond
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: to them. So if you see a situation as a threat,
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: so if it's something that feels overwhelming and it's out
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: of your control, or even if you feel that something
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: is danger to your dangerous to your self worth, you know,
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: your body tenses up, your thinking narrows, and you often
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: want to go into avoidance and it feels like the
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: situation is happening to you. It's like being stuck in quickstand.
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: But if you see it as a challenge, something tough
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: but worth engaging in because it helps you move forward,
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: it helps you learn and grow, your body still activates,
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: it still gets into that kind of mobilizing state, but
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: it's in a way that fuels you. So your focus sharpens,
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: you lean in rather than turn away, and you feel
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: more in control. So instead of the situation happening to you,
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: it becomes something you are choosing to meet head on.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: And at the beginning of the year, I gave a
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: presentation to some year eight students about managing stress and
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: the lead up to exams, and I showed them a
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: video of a rollercoaster ride, So it was one of
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: those ones. Is the video was as if you were
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: actually sitting in the carriage of the roller coaster. And
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: then it was followed by a picture of two people.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: So one of the girls in the picture looked absolutely
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: petrified and the other one looked completely exhilarated. So same situation,
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: totally different experience. So one person saw the roller coaster
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: as a threat and the other saw it as a challenge.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: Or you think about giving a presentation at work or
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: at school. If you're in a critic pipes up with
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: what if I mess up? Or what if everybody thinks
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: I'm terrible, Everyone's going to judge me. That's going into
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: that threat mode. It can be automatic that critic will
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: just appear and we can't control that. But what we
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: can do is notice it and then reframe it. It's
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: an experience. I'm going to grow from this. Even if
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: I stuff up. That's challenge mode. So it's the same event,
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: but a different mindset. We may not be able to
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: control the automatic response, but we can control what we
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: do with it by choosing our attitude towards the stress.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: And this really works when you apply it. So I
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: am living proof of this, and that's coming from someone
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: who has spent much of her life in threat mode.
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: And if that's you, please go back and listen to
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: that Mojo Monday on the ninth of June that I
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: did with Paul goes through about twenty six to six minutes.
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: And also, I just want to shamelessly plug Paul's book,
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: which is called The Heartiness Effect, and this is just
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: part of it, this challenge challenge versus threat, But it's
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: really brilliant and honestly, heartiness is something that we all
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: need right now and I'm becoming really passionate about it too.
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: That resilience is like the outcome. Heartiness is how we
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: get there. So here's your Mojo Monday mission for this week.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: The next time you feel stressed, pause, ask yourself, am
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: I seeing this as a threat? Or am I approaching
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: this as a challenge? And if it feels like a threat,
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: just try flipping it. What can I learn here? How
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: much is this going to help me grow? What part
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: of this is within my control? And what strengths do
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: I need to tap into right now? Is it courage?
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: Is it determination? Is it fun? It's like even just
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: asking those questions can shift your mindset and your nervous
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: system from avoidance mode into full engagement. And you've got
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: to remember that choosing to see situations as a challenge
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: doesn't mean it's going to feel easy, and it often won't.
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: That discomfort is usually a sign that you really care
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: and that you're moving in the direction of growth. So
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: this week, just play with that lens. Notice where you
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: feel threat and see if you can gently reframe it
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: as a challenge. And over time, this practice builds hardiness,
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: and then that creates resilience and confidence, because confidence comes
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: from building skills and learning to trust yourself, and once
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: you have that, you know that you can handle life's challenges.
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: So I hope that has been valuable for you as
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: it has been for me. Have a beautiful Monday, enjoy
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: the rest of your week, and I will catch you
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: next week. See Yuah