Latest / Real Talk Real Healing / Ep 9: Your Voice, Your Truth, Your Healing :The Cost of Staying Silent

Transcript

Ep 9: Your Voice, Your Truth, Your Healing :The Cost of Staying Silent · Real Talk Real Healing

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Hey y'all, this is Desi.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: And this is Lisa.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to our podcast, Real Talk Real Healing, where we support women through their healing journey.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: Through raw stories, authentic dialogue, and uncomfortable but very necessary conversations, we explore the full range of emotions, energetic, spirituality, and physical well-being that come with being human.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_01: We believe in a world filled with filters and service-level messages that healing begins with truth and a little bit of magic.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: Hello and welcome back to another episode with Lisa and Desi.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: We are so excited to be exploring our voices today.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: So when you stop expressing your truth, you start to disconnecting from who you truly are.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: And so today we're really gonna be going into why speaking your truth, using your voice is a vital part of your healing, what happens when you suppress your emotions, and how using your voice helps you build self-trust, healthier relationships, and emotional freedom.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: So many people are just walking around holding things in and not actually expressing what they mean, what they want to say, and just keeping it bottled up inside because we've been taught to be agreeable, to be polite, and not make other people uncomfortable.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: So we rather have other people be uncomfortable our we rather have ourselves be uncomfortable for the sakes of the people around us.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: And that's just really holding us back, keeping us small.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: And we've just learned to suppress though our needs, our emotions, and our truths.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: So today we're really gonna be diving into why it's so important that we use our voices just like me and Lisa are doing here today.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: We're speaking our truth, we're saying what we mean and meaning what we say.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: So we're gonna dive in with you guys today.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, this is such an important topic and something that we are literally coming up against because of this podcast.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_01: And liked as he said, and the reasoning why.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_01: There's a couple of reasons, and of course there's more, but we're gonna do cover a couple of reasons why you may be suppressing your voice or why you may know of somebody you're like, oh my god, they don't speak up enough and you want them to, but sometimes they have to work through it themselves.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_01: And a big reason is fear of rejection.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_01: And a lot of times, rejection, you know, we think that if we say something that we exactly what Desi said, like if we say something that we truly want, sometimes when we express our needs, that this rejection of like your meet your needs aren't you aren't worthy, you know, to to have this need met.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, someone might misunderstand you, so you might get get rejected because of that.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_01: Or one example would be in the dating real in the dating realm, you know, shooting your shot or like you know, asking someone out, or even just uh trying to be a friend with somebody and like trying to talk to somebody.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what if someone shoots you down or ghosts you, you know, that happens so much more in this world because we're not very good at at speaking our truth anymore and we're not good at like conversing a lot.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_01: So, because of all social media and everything and being online.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_01: So a lot of times we are more suppressed, I would feel like even more, unless you know somebody, right?
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_01: Unless you are comfortable around this person.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_01: So fear of rejection is such a big one and fear of abandonment, right?
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_01: Because what if they what if you express your concerns?
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: What if you express what you need in a relationship or in a friendship or in, you know, just as a kid, honestly, right?
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_01: And someone might leave you or someone might say no, and you take that in as something that means so much deeper.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_01: And that initial uh point uh causes you to suppress your voice because you're like, it's not safe for me to express anymore.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_01: And another thing is what if someone judges you for what you're gonna say?
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of times we're not vulnerable and we're not super, super honest, whether it's with ourselves or somebody else, because we are our fear of people judging us.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_01: We're fear of people, you know, misunderstanding us because of what we're saying, what we actually is our truth.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_01: So you suppress instead of learn to express in this in a better pace.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_01: Or a lot of times we have this caveman way of thinking that no matter what this is, what this fear that comes up, or what this this thing that this no means, it's like we're gonna die, or it's it's just we're just rejected from the group.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_01: We're not we're being pushed out from our tribe, basically.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_01: And that feels so heavy for us, and that's a survival instinct that comes through.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_01: And instead of allowing ourselves to expand on this or try again another time, how many people are afraid of public speaking?
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_01: Like, yeah, exactly.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_01: Like so many people, like who wanted to do no one wanted to do public speaking in high school as one of their electives?
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I feel like that was such a popular one where like nobody wants to go unless they like absolutely had to, and it sucked.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_01: And how many times did you have to go in front of your class and like present a project or whatever?
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_01: And it still is scary, so scary.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_01: And you probably have a lot of a lot of uh memories built up from that time and being like, why would I want to go in front of my boss and and pitch myself and and ask for a raise because uh hello, I'm gonna get rejected.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_01: What they're gonna say no automatically, but that's not the actual truth, it's just our meaning around it.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_01: And the other thing, the other fear that a big fear, and I I definitely have this one for sure, is fear of conflict, you know, and I'm sure you can resonate at least at some point in your life, or maybe not, that's okay too.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_01: But you want to keep the peace, you know.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_01: You want instead of expressing your needs, instead of expressing what you're feeling in the moment, you want to keep the peace.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_01: You don't want someone else to blow up on you because again, they're gonna, they, they take it on and they misunderstand you, they judge you, they leave.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_01: I've had that so many times in relationships where I was so afraid to share exactly what I was feeling in a relationship and and or to cause a big fight.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_01: And there's been a couple times that I had relationships end because of things, and I took this on as a meaning of like, well, I can't share exactly what I'm feeling, or I can't ask for what I actually truly want because I don't it it technically means that I'm not worthy of it, right?
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_01: That's that's what it ingrains into my soul and into my body that like it's not safe to express, and that is such a big one for me because I just grew up knowing, and if you've listened to the trigger episode, this is is kind of gonna share a couple of different similar points where it's like you know, yelling is bad and like conflict is bad, and and you're gonna break up and people are gonna leave and people are gonna judge you, and da-da-da-da.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's just not safe.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_01: And this is where we get to rewire and re-reunderstand like why we actually feel this way and what this actually means.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_01: So, another another part of that, keeping the peace and really that means is avoiding the uncomfortable conversations because again, we don't want to disappoint people, we don't want us to be disappointed, and we're choosing comfort over that vulnerability.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_01: But vulnerability creates more intimacy and connection.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_01: So, this is where you get to instead of suppressing your voice, you get to practice it and you get to open up and expand more.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_01: But this is a huge reason why people suppress our voice.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_01: So uh, if you're hopefully you're resonating with a couple of these points so far, but the the last one that I do want to cover today is uh before we get into like more examples, is that we are so conditioned, like like Desi said, we are taught to be agreeable, we're taught to stay in our desks at school and raise our hands when we want to speak and be polite and and really keep ourselves uncomfortable and small instead of be expressive, be big, be bold, because we're taught that you're gonna get in trouble.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: We're taught that it's not good.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: You're you're why do you want to be in the spotlight?
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_01: Why do you want to be more you're dramatic, you're da-da-da, you know?
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_01: So it's just conditioning.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_01: It's just conditioning that we have that we get to break.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_01: And this is why we're bringing this up.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_01: So sometimes people also are, and I can definitely attest to this, is people pleasing.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_01: People if you're a professional um uh what's you um what's the word that I always say?
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_01: A recovering people pleaser.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_01: There you go.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_01: That's what I am.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I'm learning to use my voice more.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_01: I'm learning that I don't have to just be nice.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_01: I don't have to disappoint other people.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_01: I I'm not gonna come off rude because that's their meaning, not mine.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_01: I'm learning to express myself, but someone else might get triggered and take it on as something else.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_01: You don't have to be so small, you know, allowing yourself to um prioritize your own feelings instead of everyone else's.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_01: This is really the biggest point that we want to drive home.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_01: And the reason why, again, this is just sharing a couple of things, but most people don't lose their voice.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_01: They just learned that it wasn't safe to use it.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_01: So what happens next?
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, this is such a good conversation.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: I was just talking to Lisa about how I've recently seen seen women like not take up space, not say yes to the thing, not say, okay, I can use the thing or thank you for the thing.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: They're like, no, it's fine.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: I don't need it, I don't want it.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like literally, I just found this thing.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: You can have it.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't need it.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like I found it, like it's perfect for you.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: Please take it, you know, and so we don't even take up the space to have the things that we desire, right?
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: And so when we repress these, when we repress our voice, when we repress our emotions, when we repress how we feel, and we just keep it bottled up inside, those emotions are getting stuck in the body.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: And that's how we get our chakras that are blocked.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: That's how our chi and our body isn't moving cohesively through.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: That's how our aura can become dim, you know, is because we are actually not speaking our truth.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe even speaking your truth isn't necessarily out loud to other people, but it's maybe it's actually just telling yourself the truth, speaking truth and life into your own, and into your own body, into your own uh reality, into your own purpose, and and you're repressing the truth to yourself, right?
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: So really when we're repressing our emotions, it's getting stuck in the body, it's creating blockages, and then it's manifesting what you don't desire.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: So it's actually manifesting more of the repressed emotions.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's attracting more of the things that are unsaid to you in your manifested reality.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: And when, you know, we're not meant to hold everything in.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: So these emotions come out as anger, they come out as frustration, they come out as numbing your emotions, as, you know, make not speaking your truth to the person that you're with.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: So now you're getting resentment towards the person that you're with.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: You're feeling frustrated because you haven't said the thing that you wanted to say.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: And so when we are allowed to express ourselves instead of repress ourselves, so having sacred anger, sacred rain, rage, right?
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like I used to have a lot of anger for a long time and I used to yell a lot and I used to take it out on people around me or be yelling in the car.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: But once I learned how to channel that anger and actually express it, then I was set free on so many different levels, like truly felt this like huge weight that was lifted off of me and my body, right?
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's important for us to learn how to express our voices, express our feelings, and not just hold it on into our body because it doesn't disappear, it gets stored in the body, and I really want to drive that home.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: The body keeps score, so it's in the moments when you feel the tightness in your jaw.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: I know I recently noticed that in the mornings, like I have to really open my jaw and yawn because I'm feeling a lot of tension whole held into my into my jaw.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um, there could be tension in your throat and maybe tightness in your throat when we're not speaking our truth.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: It can feel a little restrictive around our throat.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: We can have the anxiety in our chest.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: How much do we have anxiety when we're just like we really want to say the thing or we really want to express ourselves?
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: But since we're holding it in, our body is now coming and saying, Hey, you have anxiety, because anxiety is actually our body speaking to us, saying something is not right, something is wrong.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: And that is our opportunity to be like, okay, wait a minute, what is this anxiety actually telling us?
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: And chances are it's somewhere that you are not speaking your truth, that you are not telling yourself the truth or telling the people in your life the truth.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: And it can really be a chronic problem when we're not speaking our truth because that stress and that overwhelm is just building up into our body.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: We can feel fatigue and burnout or even nauseous in our stomachs, right?
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: Nauseous in the belly when we're nervous before speaking up.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: Those are all things that our body are speaking to us and telling us, right?
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: So in the moments where you're wanting to speak your truth is when we need to come into that insight of like, what is actually here for me?
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_00: So we talked about this, I feel like a lot of episodes, right?
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like being the awareness, asking yourself the question.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: So, what is this costing you?
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, what is it costing you to not express your emotions, your needs, and your voice?
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: And the main thing is disconnection from yourself, yeah, ignoring your intuition, not listening to the gut feeling, not taking the chance that doesn't have the next step.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we like to have one through five all in front of us, but when we're disconnected from ourselves, when we're not speaking our truth, and we're not following our intuition and we're not taking the chances, we're not having the conversations, we're not doing the things that actually can get us to where it is that we desire to go because we are not actually being able to hear our intuitive voice.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's a big one.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: We have a whole episode on intuition and it being your superpower.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: I think that was episode three.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: If you want to go back and listen to how important your intuition is, I would highly recommend you going back to that episode.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: You know, chances are you're numbing your emotions, you're numbing your feelings, you're numbing what you want to say, you're scrolling on your phone way too often, you're shopping, you're eating food that really isn't serving you because you're not feeling whole in your body because you've been holding on to so much, and you're having those repressed emotions and feelings in your body.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: And so really getting curious to where am I not speaking my truth?
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: You could also be losing yourself and who you really desire to be, right?
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: So we have we know who we want to be, we have a vision.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: Most people have a vision of what we want to be.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: And if you don't have a vision and you're not clear on it, I'd highly suggest spending some time on that.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: But when we aren't being truthful with ourselves and speaking our truth, then we are getting further and further away from that person.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: And we become on autopilot, right?
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_00: We lack creativity, we don't really have those epiphanies or those downloads or that excitement because we're just feeling all those repressed emotions in our body.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: And some of the subtle side effects that are happening is that emotional exhaustion.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_00: You're just tired all the time and you don't know why.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it's because you're not speaking your truth, you're not expressing yourself, you're feeling unseen and unheard, and you don't understand why.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: And it's because you're not saying the thing, you're not expressing yourself, and maybe some of your relationships are lacking authenticity, right?
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like the people around you don't really know who you are because you're scared to speak your truth, because they might judge you or they might not agree with you, or they might, you know, X, Y, or Z, you know, that little ego comes in and says, like, oh, if I really say who I am and show up how I want to be, then these people are gonna reject me.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_00: But the truth is, if those people reject you, then they weren't really your people in the first place, right?
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_00: We want to be aligned with people who accept us for all of who we are, not just some of who we are.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_00: Because what kind of life are we living when we're only showing up with the masks that we think those certain people want to hear from us or see us?
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: So um, yeah.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_00: Do you have anything to add to that?
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_00: So good.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_01: I I definitely am glad that you brought up the relationship part too.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_01: And like it could be friendships, and I definitely am feeling so present with that energy of being like, I'm not expressing myself in these friendships that I have now, or I want to create more authentic friendships and being like, no, this is who I am, and like I want to have more of these conversations because it's who I am now.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you we have these friendships that we've had for years, and it's just automatic like normally, you know, we all evolve and we all become different versions, we're all in different chapters, and sometimes it's just hard to to really to feel like maybe this older, you know, friendship is going to stand the stand the time because you know, you evolved differently.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes it's it's hard for us to be like, hey, you know, I I really want to share this part of me that like I don't talk about much when we hang out or like whatever it is, or just be like so proud.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_01: Like again, we have this podcast and like I know like different people.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like a little shy about it.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, I have a podcast now.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's so it's because again, it's it's the like do will they think it's weird?
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_01: Will they will they judge me?
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_01: Will they reject me?
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_01: Will they will they diminish me?
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's those type of things that can come out when you when I'm also like suppressing a little bit of being like, no, like I'm I have a freaking podcast like with my biz besti, and like it's freaking awesome.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_01: Like we get to do these conversations and and have these real raw moments.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I definitely am feeling like that's so hard right now.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm glad that you brought that up because it definitely does like a ripple effect.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_00: I think with with friendships, and I know we want to do a podcast on this too.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, yeah, you know, as you get closer with your friends, right?
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: As you spend more time with them, it is kind of like a relationship.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_00: You have to learn how to communicate with that stuff because you're not gonna agree on every single thing, right?
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like, can we allow the people we love the most to express themselves, to be themselves, to have different views and beliefs than we do?
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like we're not gonna line up on everything.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like, how can we make room and space for those conversations and for our friends to be different than us?
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like, we don't have to have the same views.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: And like I have other friends, like we don't have the same views on some stuff, but we're still friends, like, and so it's like being also like what's coming to mind is like being the safe space for others to express themselves without having to be a certain way or to act a certain way or say a certain thing.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um, as long as that of course it's all like within reason and and respectable and and you know, not crossing any boundaries, but it's it's really fun to be able to come together and get really close with somebody and like allow them to be who they are without the judgment.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_01: It's funny actually, too, because I know with Steve the one time, my my boyfriend, he he mentioned to me, he's like, you know what, we did something, I don't even know.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you know how you're just like yourself with your partner for the most part, especially if you're living together, like you know, you just you make weird noises sometimes or you do something funny, you're like, where did that come from?
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_01: Like and he like made a comment one time, he's like, I've never been so weird with someone.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_01: Like, and I'm just like, I'm just like, I don't even know what that means, but I'm gonna take it as a compliment because you're just really safe around me.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_01: You feel like you know, you're able to express that.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_01: And like, are you sure like you never acted like that before?
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_01: Like, because you know, as kids, you just are are weird and whatever, and like, of course, that can mean so many different things, but you can also have those moments where you're like, okay, like I get to be so authentic with you, and I and you're not gonna judge me, and you're just a safe space for me, and like and and that's what I think creating this deeper connection and intimacy is, and like it's when you have that in life, life is so good because you're like, I get to be fully me, you know?
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_01: And when you have those moments, that's why like speaking up and expressing yourself is so important, and and I'm learning this in different facets like right now.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_01: It's like who can I speak my truth?
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_01: Because again, if I'm not speaking my truth, I'm gonna have resent about myself even.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I'm gonna feel guilty, I'm gonna be resentful of like I should have said that or I should have did that sooner because it's gonna bubble up later and it's gonna be there when it's when it shouldn't be that serious.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I could say with that being said too, it's like sometimes when we are afraid to express ourselves.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I I remembered as you were as we were speaking some examples is that an example that I do sometimes is, you know, I'm working on it, but when you're drinking, when you're having like drinks and you and you're like something just is bubbling up and you just blurt it out, and it it may not be the nicest way, and it may not be, you know, exactly how you meant to say it or you wanted to have a conversation later, but it's on your mind, and you're just like I'm feeling this way, and it's like it doesn't always feel good to have those.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_01: So these are the moments where I'm like, Oh, I should have, I I I need to like reel it back real quick and like super recognize that yeah, right.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_01: Like all of us have been there, you know?
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like we're just like because then it becomes the deeper emotion of like, oh, wait a minute, I'm not speaking my truth.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_00: And if it's coming out while I'm drinking, then that's actually a bigger issue than the issue at hand.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_01: And again, that's that's effects and that's a ripple effect of like, okay, now we need to repair that, or now we need to take a step back and be like, okay, where am I not expressing myself?
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_01: And and can you express yourself and be so uh honest with yourself and with other person, especially if you're going to you know express it to somebody else, whether it's you're whether you're just venting it to your friend when you're drunk or actually having the conversation with somebody, right?
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_01: Like that could be a part of it too, where you're just not expressing yourself in different ways and it comes out as like a venting session, um, which isn't bad necessarily, but again, it's just like okay, where are you going to allow yourself to express and feel safe enough to do that?
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_01: Because it's gonna come up later if you don't.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_01: So this is why why I brought this up is because it really does matter when you're speaking your truth, and and exactly why Desi's been talking about it, where It's it's in the body and it's it's uh you need to bring it up in a way that feels good and in a way that feels safe for you and and start with a practice, of course, because every time you use your voice, you're creating trust and you're building trust with yourself.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_01: And yes, of course it matters with other people if you're talking to people and whatnot, but the biggest the biggest relationship is uh the most important one is with yourself.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_01: Because when you don't express your own truth and we don't trust yourself to to share and to speak and to to give more or even allow yourself to receive, because that's also self-trust, right?
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_01: To receive, because you're just you're just losing yourself in this.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_01: And your voice is absolutely one of the most powerful forms of self-respect when you use it, clearly, when you communicate, when you know what you want, when you share your needs, uh regardless of what's gonna happen afterwards, and regardless of what you think is gonna happen afterwards.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_01: So every time you uh be quiet, every time you stop, you pause, or you're like, it's fine.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_01: Um you're abandoning yourself instead of actually expressing yourself.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_01: You this is that this is a really hard uh area to to come into, and I'm sure all of us have examples of this.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_01: But when you meant to say something, or when you wanted to, but got scared, these are the parts of you that want to be seen, want to be expressed.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_01: Uh and it's okay to have those moments, but allowing yourself to expand and not shut down for the next time, that's gonna be the lesson, and that's gonna be where you can build a little bit more trust.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_01: Because when that happens, you have, like Desi said, you have these authentic relationships.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_01: People actually get to know the real you.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_01: The boundaries become clear because people are like, Oh, yeah, that's right.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, instead of someone else blowing up because you're sharing a boundary for the first time and you know, they don't understand.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_01: That's not your person all the time, you know.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_01: Like, and that's that's also where you get to learn this lesson and you get to practice being being your own best uh like uh partner, really, because you get to share and you get to show that it's safe to share a boundary, it's safe to share what you need.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_01: Uh so your communication gets better because you get more clear and clear and clear, uh and your relationships become deeper.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_01: You get that intimacy, that connection.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_01: And whether it's obviously it could be a romantic partner, it can be a friendship, it can be a parent, it could be a child, even allowing yourself to be fully you, allowing yourself to voice whatever is on your mind, whatever's on your heart is really going to allow things to expand and get really juicy in life because who doesn't who want doesn't want to be themselves, you know, like everyone else is taken, like be you, like right?
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_01: So allow yourself to come into alignment and get clear on what you actually desire to say, what you actually desire, how your how your relationships want to look, how your friendships, how all those things, and and start practicing becoming a little bit more like that version, because there's expressing yourself just a little bit more each time will help you heal and will help you do do more, you know, with that person.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_01: And when that does happen, when you start to get more clear, use your voice, you start to uh see things around you change because you're starting to get more clear and aligned with your true self, with your soul, with your, you know, the higher self, the version of you that you want to become, and you get to be at this point because you are practicing and building that trust.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_01: So uh we all know, or maybe this is a reminder, that whatever you think, whatever you believe, whatever your your mind is saying, everything's created twice in this world.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's in your mind first and then it's out in the world, right in front of you.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_01: And Desi talked about the snow globe effect, you know, whatever's in your snow globe, whether whatever beliefs, whatever thoughts, whatever things that you feel are the truth, actually the truth, get to show up in your world.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_01: So if you believe that relationships are hard and you can't express yourself, guess what?
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_01: That's what you're gonna see.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_01: But if you start to build trust in yourself, like my voice matters, I get to share my needs, all these things, you're gonna have the next conversation you're gonna have is gonna really surprise you because you're gonna get that support and you're gonna have a healthy relationship, a healthy friendship, whatever, a healthy conversation and be like, wow, I didn't realize that life gets to be good when I feel the support, when I feel so safe in expressing myself.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_01: Things shift when when things actually happen in that way.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_01: And you don't have to pretend, you don't have to overthink anymore.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_01: So if clarity is what you're looking for in your opponent of your life that, like, I don't know what I need next, I don't know what I want, you really need to sit with yourself and start using your voice in some way because it will get clear to you as you keep expressing and and just keep asking yourself questions or have somebody else ask you questions, like what do you truly want right now?
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_01: What do you really desire?
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_01: Or how can I support you?
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_01: How can you support me?
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it's one of these things where me and Desi are so grateful to have each other.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_01: And we do this for our clients too, where it's we give them a safe space to really feel and express because that is such a gift sometimes, just to be held in a space that you don't get feedback, you don't need feedback sometimes, right?
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_01: And you just need to express how you're feeling in the moment.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes kids just just need this, they don't they don't need to be like, it's okay, don't worry about it, da da da.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_01: It's they just need to express their emotion, and that's exactly we're the same.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_01: We're we're still adults, but we still need the same support, we still need the same um emotional support.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and whether it's physical or emotional, whatever that is for you, but having that safe space is such a game changer in life.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, those are all really great points.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I the first thing I believe to find your voice is to know what your values are, getting really clear on what it is that you desire, what you want, what your boundaries are, and who do you really want to be in this world, right?
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're not clear on that, that would be the first step I would take immediately.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, who do I want to be?
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_00: Because you could be the girl that gets the compliment on her sweater and says, Oh yeah, this old thing, I got it at the goodwill.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_00: It's so old.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_00: Or you could be the girl that says, Thank you.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_00: I appreciate that.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_00: I, you know, return the favor, right?
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, who do we want to be when we are in the space of our day-to-day world, right?
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_00: Our day-to-day, you know, with our coworkers, with our friends, with our partner.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like, who do you want to be?
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_00: What are your values?
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_00: How do you want to show up?
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_00: So to find that voice, and I I do this a lot with my clients.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_00: I would say for me, I've had to be a little bit of an opposite as we're like talking and I'm contemplating and I'm listening to everything we're she's saying and I'm talking about and everything.
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_00: Like, so I say a little bit of the opposite.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I have an overactive throat chakra, I would say, right?
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_00: So we can have like an overactive or underactive, and I would say I have an overactive.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_00: So the invitation for somebody like me or for myself is to actually take a no, say, how do I want to say this?
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_00: I actually get to choose to keep the peace sometimes.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_00: I don't always have to like say the thing, right?
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_00: So like I can be too, I'm I'm a Sagittarius sun, I am Aries rising.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_00: So I am very, very blunt, very truthful.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna tell you how it is, but it's it's it can come across wrong or like too blunt, even though that's not the way that I mean it.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_00: So I've really had to scale back.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I actually have my niece, and I love her so much, and she is such a Sagittarius, like to the T.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_00: My cousin, who we I grew up with her really close, and she's like, oh my God, Desi, she's like you.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what I'm gonna do with her.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_00: And then the other day she was like asking me, she, I think she's 12 or somewhere in that age, you're 11, 10, something like that.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_00: And she's like, Desi, what does it mean to be too blunt?
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, girlfriend, let me sit you down and have the conversation with you, because it was really hard for me to learn that I don't always need to say what's on my mind, right?
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's like we have to get clear on like who it is we are, how it is that we want to be seen, to be heard, you know, and so really getting clear on that, and like Lisa was saying, like finding a safe space, like a best friend that you can start speaking your truth from.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_00: And also, also, I want to invite you if you're having a hard time speaking a truth, talk to yourself in the mirror.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_00: Say the thing that you want to say to the person that you're scared to say it to, to yourself, to start building that confidence.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_00: What does it look like when I say this thing out to the world?
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_00: And it's gonna be awkward, especially when we're looking in the mirror.
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like mirror work is so awkward.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but there's purpose to it, right?
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_00: It builds our strength, it builds our confidence, it builds our knowing.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_00: So finding a safe space, if not, find a mirror, get your camera for your phone, speak into that, watch yourself.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_00: It might be a little cringe, but this is how we build confidence, right?
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_00: And so asking for help too.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like if you're having a hard time speaking up, asking a friend, asking your partner, asking Chat TPT, like, how can I say this in a loving way?
• 31:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like, how can I say this, you know, so it comes out right.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_00: And then also another invitation, too, is not to say things when you're upset or when you're triggered.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_00: So if you know you do need to use your voice and you do need to speak out, make sure that there's not a bunch of resentment sitting under there and then you're like lashing out because you're like finally finding your voice, because that's not fair to the person.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's not fair to yourself, it's not fair to anybody.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_00: Your job and your responsibility as a human being is to process your emotions first so that you're not spewing it out onto anybody else, right?
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_00: So speaking your truth in that grounded presence of like, okay, this is who I am, this is what I need to say, and being able to come from that place of love.
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_00: And then, you know, saying it with no guilt, right?
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_00: Once you've done the processing, once you've practiced whatever it is that you need to do, like it might not be perceived the way that you want it to.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_00: They, I don't know, kind of a like 60% chance that sometimes a person's not going to hear it the way that you mean it, because again, we all have our own filter of what we're seeing and what we're processing in the world.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_00: So being able to be like, okay, I know I said that in my power, I know I said it out of love, I know that I spoke my truth, and I get to be okay with however it lands for that person.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_00: And that takes practice, that's no easy task.
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, setting the boundaries too, right?
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like if somebody's crossing your boundaries, saying the truth, you know, speaking up in restaurants when your meal, you don't like your meal or something comes out wrong, or whatever it is, like how many times we're like, it's okay, we'll just deal with it.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_00: And with how expensive things are lately, like, I'm sorry, I'm not dealing with anything.
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_00: That, you know, two tacos was$18 and they were like street tacos.
• 32:53
  SPEAKER_00: No, I did not want onions on it.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_00: I said no onions, can you please take it back?
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want any onions on this, right?
• 32:57
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like even in those moments, like finding your truth, again, saying it polite, saying it nicely, right?
• 33:03
  SPEAKER_00: You really just want to be able to speak clearly.
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_00: And so having that reflection and really just, you know, setting the boundaries, speaking your truth.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_00: And then another thing that you can start asking yourself too is like, what am I feeling right now?
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_00: What do I need in the moment?
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_00: And what am I afraid of?
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_00: I actually skipped something up here that we were gonna do.
• 33:27
  SPEAKER_00: So when we were talking about the body keeping score, I actually want to do a little practice with you guys.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_00: So when we are feeling, say, triggered, when we are feeling like we need to speak up and say something, when we're feeling like our point isn't getting across or whatever may be going on, I want you to actually go ahead and if you're driving, please don't do this.
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_00: But if you're in a safe space and you're in an area where you can close your eyes, I want you to take a big deep breath, filling up the belly, filling up the chest, slowly releasing, go ahead and take another big inhale, feeling the belly, feeling the chest, and releasing, and then I want you to ask yourself, where am I feeling that tension in my body?
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_00: So this is gonna be specifically felt in your body.
• 34:20
  SPEAKER_00: So it could be in your shoulders, it could be in your chest, it could be in your back, it could be in your stomach, it could be your upper stomach, your lower stomach.
• 34:29
  SPEAKER_00: So I want you to get curious when I am feeling like I'm not speaking my truth, when I'm not using my voice, where am I feeling that in my body?
• 34:37
  SPEAKER_00: For me, a lot of the time it's like right in the gut.
• 34:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but sometimes it's in the chest.
• 34:42
  SPEAKER_00: So it really just depends.
• 34:44
  SPEAKER_00: And so get curious where that is, and then I want you to go ahead and take your hands, and I want you to place your hands over that place in your body where you know when you're triggered, or when you know when you're not able to say the thing, you're feeling that heat in your body, you're feeling yourself getting really upset, your heart, heart might be racing, and I always want you to send love to that area in your body.
• 35:03
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna give you a few moments here, sending love, just feeling that connection with your body, just taking another big deep breath here, feeling the belly, feeling the chest, slowly releasing, and just blinking your eyes back open, and that's how simple it can be, right?
• 35:30
  SPEAKER_00: When you're feeling that tension, when you're feeling the anxiety or the tightness in your throat or your chest, or you're feeling the butterflies, or you're feeling really triggered, taking a deep breath, sitting with your body, and sending love to that area is so helpful, and it's gonna be a game changer and really starting to shift what using your voice actually looks like, right?
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_00: So it's looking like connecting to your body, it's looking like asking yourself those questions.
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_00: What am I feeling?
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_00: Where am I feeling it?
• 35:59
  SPEAKER_00: What do I need right now?
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's a deep breath, maybe it's a bath or uh, you know, just a beat before you say anything, and then like asking yourself, what am I afraid of if I say my truth, right?
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, let your body be the guide.
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_00: Where am I feeling the tension?
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_00: What conversations am I avoiding?
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_00: What emotions are needing to be expressed?
• 36:21
  SPEAKER_00: So this does take a level of awareness, it does take a level of understanding who you are and who you want to be and your values, and really being able to speak your truth in alignment with clarity in your power.
• 36:38
  SPEAKER_01: So good.
• 36:39
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
• 36:40
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like sometimes we just need the like the deep breath and just to be like, okay, what is my body actually asking for?
• 36:48
  SPEAKER_01: Such a good reminder, right?
• 36:53
  SPEAKER_01: So we're gonna do a little recap on this episode.
• 36:57
  SPEAKER_01: So we're talking about your voice, we're talking about truth, we're talking about expression, and of course, this is the podcast.
• 37:06
  SPEAKER_01: It's called Real Talk, Real Healing.
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_01: So this is real talk, you know, on this episode.
• 37:10
  SPEAKER_01: And the real healing does happen when what you're feeling on the inside finally has permission to be expressed on the outside through your voice.
• 37:22
  SPEAKER_01: So we hope that this is a big permission slip because it's not just awareness, it's actually learning to feel important to communicate.
• 37:36
  SPEAKER_01: Learning that your emotions need the movement, right?
• 37:39
  SPEAKER_01: And emotions are just energy and motion.
• 37:41
  SPEAKER_01: Again, we've talked about this before, but you need to express in the way that feels good to you and find that safe space or find that connection or mirror that you can literally share what you're actually feeling.
• 37:54
  SPEAKER_01: You can even video yourself and have these talks with yourself because sometimes I've done that where I'm like, oh, I needed to say that, or I don't know where that came from.
• 38:04
  SPEAKER_01: Because your truth deserves a voice.
• 38:09
  SPEAKER_01: And I think we forget that we are worthy of sharing whatever we're feeling, whether it's an explosive moment, or whether we're shy and we're like literally barely speaking because it's so hard, or we're trying to whisper, you know.
• 38:26
  SPEAKER_01: Wherever you're at, and what your voice sounds like, or whether you're quivering, whether you're nauseous, whether you're tight, or whether the opposite, and you're just like, I don't, I just had to say it, someone had to say it.
• 38:40
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 38:41
  SPEAKER_01: Allowing yourself to be wherever that is, and and really it's just it's just about being honest.
• 38:50
  SPEAKER_01: It's just about being honest with yourself and and because you're building that relationship with yourself, you're building that that trust and you're strengthening it because we only have one life to live.
• 39:00
  SPEAKER_01: So allowing yourself to be really connected to that part of you that is the truth is going to heal so much, and life is gonna get so good when you do this because you're not hiding anymore, you know.
• 39:14
  SPEAKER_01: Who wants to hide?
• 39:15
  SPEAKER_01: Who wants to numb and avoid, you know, what you're truly feeling?
• 39:19
  SPEAKER_01: And and yes, it's not easy.
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_01: Again, we we're on these healing journeys too, and we know it's not easy, but but right there with you, like authentic expression is such a uh an important lesson for us to learn in this life.
• 39:34
  SPEAKER_01: And one good, no good.
• 39:36
  SPEAKER_01: I was gonna say just the last thing we do want to recommend, you know, if you do if you're like, where else can I go?
• 39:43
  SPEAKER_01: What can I do to uh like work on this a little bit more?
• 39:47
  SPEAKER_01: The throat shock we've mentioned already.
• 39:49
  SPEAKER_01: So like do some humming, do some do some singing even.
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_01: Like let people hear you sing, whether you suck or whether you're great, allow people to hear you because that'll also soften, you know, that it's safe that I'm not gonna get hurt or I'm not gonna, you know, get abandoned just for like singing, you know, and allow yourself to to express in different ways.
• 40:11
  SPEAKER_01: So maybe it's just sound, sound in general is really, really helpful.
• 40:15
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so you can do some side breaths, which is basically just an inhale, exhale with that loud, audible sigh.
• 40:21
  SPEAKER_01: I know sometimes I'm like trying to be a little quiet on my sighs or I'm like, oh, that like sounded weird or whatever.
• 40:27
  SPEAKER_01: Like, allow yourself to just sigh freely and like someone, you know, if you have family members, you know, around and they're gonna like, you good in there, you know, like that's when you know you're doing it, you're doing the right thing.
• 40:39
  SPEAKER_01: Because they're like, Are you okay in there with breath work, especially when you're making some weird noises and letting everything out, you know?
• 40:48
  SPEAKER_01: Like, let yourself do that because that's when you become more safe and build that trust again with your body.
• 40:54
  SPEAKER_01: And if you feel like, no, maybe I'm not ready for that, you can scream into a pillow or scream in your car, allow yourself to express and be like, you know, screaming and yelling and and sharing and whatever it needs to be.
• 41:06
  SPEAKER_01: Like just use sound, use that voice and keep building in, keep practicing it because that is going to allow you to expand and find that safety and that your body will eventually learn to feel safe expressing.
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_01: And that's really the most important thing we can share.
• 41:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, definitely.
• 41:24
  SPEAKER_00: I know something else that came to mind is okay, for me, I can like speak up and like say the thing, but when it comes to public speaking, you said that earlier.
• 41:31
  SPEAKER_00: What is it they say that actually public speaking is like the number one people are afraid to die over or to afraid of over dying?
• 41:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 41:39
  SPEAKER_00: It's like we're more afraid to speak in front of people than we are of like coming to our demise, right?
• 41:44
  SPEAKER_00: And so, like for me, that is a really big one that I've had to really overcome.
• 41:48
  SPEAKER_00: And then the way that I did it was starting to speak and starting to do the things that I know were like really scary.
• 41:52
  SPEAKER_00: And it just reminds me of like the first like summit that I did online.
• 41:56
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, I thought I was gonna like fall out of my own skin.
• 41:59
  SPEAKER_00: I was so scared.
• 42:00
  SPEAKER_00: I like had so much trauma from speaking, from public speaking.
• 42:04
  SPEAKER_00: I had to work with my inner child so much, and like I didn't die.
• 42:08
  SPEAKER_00: I lived to fight another day, and now here I am with the whole podcast, and I teach and I do all these things that I could have never, ever, ever dreamed of before I actually said, Okay, yeah, I'm gonna go do the thing.
• 42:18
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna go speak in front of people, or I'm gonna speak out loud, I'm gonna say the thing.
• 42:21
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like, oh, there's so much freedom on the other side of walking through the fear.
• 42:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like, we're not gonna die, right?
• 42:28
  SPEAKER_00: We're not gonna die from public speaking.
• 42:29
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, we might have a panic attack, we might be really scared, but like we're not gonna die, right?
• 42:34
  SPEAKER_00: And so the invitation again is to speak your truth in your strength, grounded.
• 42:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 42:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 42:42
  SPEAKER_01: And I can I can say too, it's kind of funny too, where I don't necessarily have a fear with the like the public speaking.
• 42:49
  SPEAKER_01: A little bit, I think in certain s situations.
• 42:51
  SPEAKER_01: Um, like sometimes this podcast can be scary, of course, but or like social media content, whatever.
• 42:57
  SPEAKER_01: But it's funny because I definitely I teach classes.
• 43:01
  SPEAKER_01: I I've taught yoga and Zumba in different areas or different events, and I'm like, some people I don't know, you know, and it's like some people are like, I could never do what you're doing, like up there, and I'm just like going for it, and I'm like, I get I get in my zone because like I don't have the time either to like get in my head about it, right?
• 43:20
  SPEAKER_01: It's like I'm the instructor, I'm teaching the class, they're just following me, and sometimes I'm like, wow, people are just like following what I'm doing, and you know, it's like what a crazy concept sometimes, but I'm like, I just go for it, I guess.
• 43:32
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, it's and that's where I can be comfortable in that area, but I'm not comfortable sometimes saying my truth in in uncomfortable conversations, right?
• 43:40
  SPEAKER_01: So you might feel comfortable in one area and not in another one.
• 43:44
  SPEAKER_01: And of course, we know this in coaching, the coaching world and and just embodiment in general.
• 43:48
  SPEAKER_01: It's you can take those same feelings of when you're feeling safe to share and safe to express and apply it to another area.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_01: You can take it and visualize it and feel into it and be like, well, I'm okay over here.
• 44:04
  SPEAKER_01: So let me practice just expanding a little bit more on this in this area.
• 44:09
  SPEAKER_01: Let me, let me, you know, uh set the boundary or set the, you know, and just ask for a little bit of permission, you know, or give yourself that permission, you know, as like we're trying to give you.
• 44:19
  SPEAKER_01: Like it is a practice, but it is so healing when you're able to to open and express and just feel so aligned with like your actual truth, because you'll feel so much lighter after you're able to express that.
• 44:35
  SPEAKER_01: So we do have a few uh qu uh two questions actually for you to journal if you would like.
• 44:42
  SPEAKER_01: You do not have to do them at this moment.
• 44:44
  SPEAKER_01: You can reflect on them, you can come back to them.
• 44:47
  SPEAKER_01: But the first question that we want to ask you and to reflect on this episode is what am I afraid will happen if I speak up?
• 44:56
  SPEAKER_01: So picturing the scenarios, visualizing scenarios, what do you think will happen?
• 45:01
  SPEAKER_01: And allow yourself to play it out a little bit and just and come back to the practice of where does this feel in my body?
• 45:08
  SPEAKER_01: Where am I feeling the tension?
• 45:10
  SPEAKER_01: Where am I feeling discomfort?
• 45:13
  SPEAKER_00: Another practice that I like for this too is like going all the way through, like the worst case scenario, like what possibly could happen.
• 45:21
  SPEAKER_00: And we realize, like, oh, it's not like death, or it's not like being shunned from the tribe, like you know, it's like actually the worst thing that could happen is actually not the worst thing that could happen.
• 45:32
  SPEAKER_01: Right, right.
• 45:35
  SPEAKER_01: So good.
• 45:35
  SPEAKER_01: And the second question is what would change if I trusted my voice more?
• 45:41
  SPEAKER_01: Ooh, it's such a good one.
• 45:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I love that one.
• 45:46
  SPEAKER_01: Like because what because again, it's like I feel like I keep coming up to that voice or to that question in a similar way of about support too.
• 45:56
  SPEAKER_01: Of like, how can like what if I was supported, you know, or if I felt supported in this moment and nothing like I did I wouldn't feel failure or anything, like right?
• 46:06
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what would I do?
• 46:07
  SPEAKER_01: What would change?
• 46:08
  SPEAKER_01: What can I do from this from this space from this expansion?
• 46:11
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 46:11
  SPEAKER_01: Um I I did this actually in my breath work uh this week, my free Wednesday breath work, my midweek reset.
• 46:18
  SPEAKER_01: I did some like heart at heart kind of concepts and and tuning into the heart and being like feeling so good and like receiving the love and then giving the love.
• 46:27
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like, uh doesn't giving feel so much better after receiving and giving yourself that love.
• 46:33
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's so good when you're like, Oh, okay, I have access to this too.
• 46:37
  SPEAKER_01: So trusting your voice, what would change?
• 46:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I love that.
• 46:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, with with using our voice, I'm gonna be using my voice here.
• 46:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 46:47
  SPEAKER_00: This episode is going to air on the 10th of June in 2026, and I am hosting an eight-day free live event coming this Sunday on the 14th.
• 46:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yay! Yay, where I'm gonna be speaking more than I've ever spoken before, and I'm gonna be leading more than I've ever led before.
• 47:05
  SPEAKER_00: And you better just believe that I've been feeling the feel-less for sure.
• 47:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I've been sitting with myself.
• 47:11
  SPEAKER_00: I this morning I had some crying to do yesterday.
• 47:14
  SPEAKER_00: I had some anger to work through.
• 47:15
  SPEAKER_00: I've been working through the motions, which is beautiful because I'm an embodiment.
• 47:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'm doing this work, so I can bring this work to you guys.
• 47:21
  SPEAKER_00: So I would love for you to join Sacred Return, Little Girl, Big X Hell, where we are going to be building a relationship with your little girl, finding the joy with her, finding that connection, learning how she's showing up in your life, understanding the patterns that may be playing out still from your childhood, because 100% certainty that there are patterns from your childhood that are showing up in your life right now, and they're not showing up in the ways that they are helping you, they are actually hindering you.
• 47:49
  SPEAKER_00: And so we'll be diving just a little bit into that.
• 47:51
  SPEAKER_00: I have guest speakers coming in to share their medicine and their journey around inner child haven or inner child healing.
• 47:58
  SPEAKER_00: And so this is really gonna be an opportunity for you to go deeper on everything that we've been talking about here.
• 48:03
  SPEAKER_00: It is gonna be recorded, so if you can't make it live, you'll have a few weeks to catch up on them.
• 48:07
  SPEAKER_00: But even if you can make it to one or two or all of them live, uh we kick off on Zoom online at 5:30 Pacific time on June 14th.
• 48:16
  unknown: Woop boop! Yay!
• 48:18
  SPEAKER_00: So that is in the show notes to sign up.
• 48:20
  SPEAKER_00: And then also we are leaving, we're asking those who are listening to please, please leave us a review, give us some feedback, and we are giving away a Kashir Records reading and astrology reading, right?
• 48:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, yeah, okay.
• 48:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and we'll be picking those uh winners at this end of the month.
• 48:38
  SPEAKER_00: So please show us support, share this with your loved ones, share this with your friends.
• 48:42
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, we really appreciate everybody who's been listening, everybody who's been on this journey so far.
• 48:47
  SPEAKER_00: I think this is what episode like nine coming out.
• 48:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 48:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we've just been doing this for like yeah, over 60 days now.
• 48:54
  SPEAKER_00: So we are in it.
• 48:57
  SPEAKER_00: We are here.
• 48:57
  SPEAKER_00: If you guys have any topics that you would like for us to cover, please uh find us at Real Talk Real Healing Podcast on Instagram.
• 49:05
  SPEAKER_00: Send us a message.
• 49:06
  SPEAKER_00: We would love to talk to you guys, we'd love to connect with you more.
• 49:10
  SPEAKER_00: So give us a like, give us a follow, all the things, and we appreciate you guys.
• 49:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, thank you so much for being here and being a part of this conversation.
• 49:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, bye guys.
• 49:20
  SPEAKER_01: See you next time.