Latest / Healthy Boundaries for Moms| Christian Life Coach / EP 32: The Midweek Reset: What Are Your Warning Lights?

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EP 32: The Midweek Reset: What Are Your Warning Lights? · Healthy Boundaries for Moms| Christian Life Coach

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  What if I told you that your anger, frustration, overwhelm, and resentment aren't always the
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  problem?
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  What if they're actually warning lights?
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  Just like the dashboard we have in our car tells us when something needs attention, our
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  emotions can alert us in the same way when a boundary needs attention.
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  So the question isn't whether the warning light comes on.
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  The question becomes whether we're going to pay attention before the engine breaks
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  down.
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  If you're tired of people pleasing, caring too much, and wondering why peace still feels
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  so hard to hold on to, you're in the right place.
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  Hi, I'm Lori, mom, former people pleaser, and your boundaries coach.
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  Here we talk about how to protect your peace, set healthier boundaries, and get clear on
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  what actually matters.
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  So that you can build a life that feels lighter, calmer, and more satisfying.
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  So let's stop the chaos for a minute, moms, catch our breath, and get into this next episode.
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  Welcome back to Healthy Boundaries for Moms.
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  I am your host, Lori Grimes, and this is your midweek reset.
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  So you may have noticed that this episode is arriving one day later than usual.
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  Normally, I do midweek reset episodes on Wednesdays, but this week looked a little
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  different because my daughter is away at summer camp, which gave me a rare opportunity to
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  spend some quality one-on-one time with my 14-year-old son.
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  We actually headed to Dallas and we got to see his first live play, which was Clue.
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  And we got to visit a museum.
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  We walked around downtown, we grabbed some lunch, and it was just an awesome time, just
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  him and I together.
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  And when I was driving home, I realized something.
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  This is actually a real life example of what we are talking about in Monday's episode.
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  So if you didn't hear it, Monday's episode was all about how boundaries are the foundation
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  of organization.
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  Sometimes healthy boundaries mean you're just choosing what matters most.
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  So I could have pushed through and gotten this episode recorded and released on time
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  like absolutely, but sometimes stewardship means recognizing that not every good thing
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  can happen at the same time.
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  Sometimes organization isn't about fitting more into your calendar.
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  Sometimes it's about making intentional choices about where your time and your energy are
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  going to go.
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  So this week, I chose to invest quality time with my son and I am so grateful that I did.
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  So thank you for your grace and your patience waiting for this midweek reset that is one
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  day late.
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  So now let's talk about warning lights.
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  So if you've ever been driving down the road when a warning light pops up on your dashboard,
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  a little scary, right?
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  Maybe it's like the check engine light or you've got low tire pressure, um, whatever
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  little light gets your attention.
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  Most of us wouldn't see a warning light and think, uh, I'll just ignore that because we
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  understand the light itself isn't the problem.
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  It's alerting us to a problem that needs our attention.
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  So wouldn't it be nice if boundaries came with warning lights?
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  Wouldn't it be nice if a little light appeared before we found ourselves overwhelmed and
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  exhausted and resentful or we're snapping at our kids or the people that we love?
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  The truth is they do.
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  God designed us with warning lights.
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  They don't just show up on our dashboard.
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  They're showing up in our emotions, like how we are feeling.
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  So in Monday's episode, we talked about how boundaries are the foundation to organization.
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  But today I want to shift a little and talk about how we recognize when a boundary needs
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  some attention.
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  So our emotions can provide valuable information.
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  They're not meant to drive the car, right?
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  We're not letting emotions drive the car, but they can tell us where to look.
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  And one of these emotions is anger.
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  James 1, 19 through 20 says, everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow
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  to become angry because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.
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  So notice, James doesn't say anger doesn't exist in the Christian life.
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  He doesn't tell us to pretend it's not there, ignore it.
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  He tells us not to let anger take control of our car.
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  Anger is a poor, poor leader, but it can be a useful messenger and get our attention.
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  So Paul says something similar in Ephesians 4, 26, he says, in your anger, do not sin.
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  So Paul is acknowledging that anger will happen.
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  But the question is, what are we going to do with that anger?
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  So what if anger is less like a steering wheel and more like a warning light that just shows
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  up on our car?
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  What if the frustration you're feeling is trying to communicate something to you?
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  So you've said yes way too many times, or you're carrying a bunch of responsibilities
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  that actually belong to someone else.
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  Or say your schedule has become crowded with good things, but they're pulling you away
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  from the very best things that God's called you to.
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  And say you've avoided a conversation that needs to happen, or you're keeping the peace
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  on the outside when you can feel resentment growing on the inside.
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  The warning light, again, is not the problem.
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  The warning light is inviting you to get curious, to investigate this warning light.
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  The same is true for overwhelm, exhaustion, and resentment.
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  These emotions don't automatically mean that someone else is wrong, and they don't automatically
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  mean that we are right, but they do deserve our attention.
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  So instead of asking what's wrong with me, I want you to ask, what is this feeling trying
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  to tell me?
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  What boundary might need my attention?
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  Or how about asking yourself, what responsibility am I carrying that doesn't belong to me?
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  Or have I allowed someone else's priorities to take precedence over God's priorities for
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  my life?
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  So healthy boundaries aren't built from anger.
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  Healthy boundaries are built from wisdom.
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  So Paul writes in Ephesians 4 15, that we are to speak the truth in love.
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  That's what healthy boundaries do.
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  They tell the truth.
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  They honor our relationships, and they help us to communicate our expectations.
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  And they protect what God has entrusted to us.
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  So many of us wait until we're angry to speak up.
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  I used to do this all the time.
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  I really thought anger was a boundary.
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  Don't push me to anger.
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  But that was a warning light, and it had been flashing for a really long time in my life.
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  And I would just rage out.
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  I would just go off, because it had been building for so long, and I was not paying attention
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  until my engine broke down.
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  So the goal is to pay attention when the warning light first comes on.
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  So we need to be sensitive to these warning lights.
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  Pay attention to your dashboard this week, guys.
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  I want you to see when frustration shows up.
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  I want you to get curious.
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  Or when resentment appears, and overwhelm starts to build, I want you to get curious
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  and start paying attention to the patterns.
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  Like what is going on?
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  Why is this happening?
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  Let's take a step back and see, and ask God, Lord, what are you trying to show me here?
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  Is there a boundary that needs my attention?
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  Because sometimes we're just looking at the emotion as the problem, and like, I shouldn't
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  be angry, right?
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  And sometimes it's the warning light pointing us toward a healthier way of living.
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  So I want you to remember that healthy boundaries aren't building walls to keep people out.
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  They are not that, okay?
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  They are about creating the margin, and the clarity, and the wisdom to live the life God
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  has called you to live.
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  Hey friend, I hope you enjoyed today's episode.
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  If so, would you take 30 seconds and go join our free Facebook page at Healthy Boundaries
• 8:46
  for Moms?
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  That's where we go deeper, share what's actually working, and support each other in real life.
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  I will also share some great tools and tips to help you along this journey.
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  I have also included a link to sign up for our brand new weekly newsletter in the Facebook
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  group.
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  Don't forget to hit follow and leave a quick review on Apple.
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  It really lets me know that this podcast is helping you.
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  More importantly, it helps more women find this podcast.
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  Now go say no to something that's stealing your peace and say yes to something you actually
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  need.
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  And I'll meet you back here in the next episode.