Latest / 🎙️ Rebuild & Fulfill Real conversations on burnout, rebuilding, and becoming stronger than before. / Learning to Trust Yourself Again | Amy Lenius on Self-Worth, Self-Belief & Growth | Episode 32

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Learning to Trust Yourself Again | Amy Lenius on Self-Worth, Self-Belief & Growth | Episode 32 · 🎙️ Rebuild & Fulfill Real conversations on burnout, rebuilding, and becoming stronger than before.

• Kelsey Dunbar: Have you ever known deep down that something wasn't right? Maybe it wasn't something anyone could see. Maybe it wasn't something you could even explain. But you knew. You knew because you were living it. The difficult part comes when the people around Marc Rogala : Thank Kelsey Dunbar: you don't see what you see, or feel what you feel. And after hearing, you're fine. Enough times, you begin asking yourself a dangerous question. Maybe it really is me. That loss of trust, not in other people, but in yourself. It can become one of the hardest things to rebuild. Today's guest knows exactly what that's like. Long before she became a coach, a speaker, or the director of the group coaching at next level university, she was simply a young woman searching for answers while living with chronic illness. But somewhere along that journey, she discovered something much bigger than a diagnosis. She discovered the importance of trusting herself Marc Rogala : So. Kelsey Dunbar: again. And today she helps thousands of others do the same. This is Amy Lenius, and this is Rebuild and Fulfill. Marc Rogala : So. Kelsey Dunbar: Welcome back to another episode of Rebuild and Fulfill, where we have real conversations about adversity, rebuilding, and becoming stronger than before. I'm Kelsey Dunbar. Marc Rogala : And I'm Marc Bergala. Kelsey Dunbar: Today we're joined by someone whose message aligns beautifully with what we try to accomplish on this show. Amy Lennius is the director of group coaching at Next Level University. She's also a professional speaker, event MC, and certified development and success coach. Over the past several years, she's spoken on stages across the health, healing, and personal development space. She's appeared on more than 200 podcasts. She just actually shared with us, she's coming up on 250. And helped countless people redefine success, not by chasing what the world tells them they should become, but by building a life that actually feels fulfilling. Marc Rogala : Okay. Kelsey Dunbar: But while researching Amy, one of the things became very clear. Her philosophy wasn't created in a classroom, it was forged through experience, through years of navigating chronic illness, learning to trust herself, and rebuilding far more than just her physical health. Marc Rogala : Also. Kelsey Dunbar: Amy, welcome to Rebuild and Fulfill. Marc Rogala : Okay. Amy Lenius: thank you so much. I'm so excited for our conversation today. And I love the name of your guys' show. I'm so excited for this one. I can tell it's gonna be super aligned. Kelsey Dunbar: Thank you so much. So, one thing that Marc and I really try to do on this show is to meet the person before we meet the resume. So, because long before somebody becomes the coach, the speaker, the leader, they're simply a person trying to figure life out like the rest of us. So I'd love to start there. Who was Amy growing up? what kind of little girl were you? And what did you think your life was going to look like? Amy Lenius: Ooh, think your life was going to look like that's a good question. So I grew up in I'm in Canada right now. I grew up in British Columbia though, out west, and we currently live in Ontario. We moved east about four years ago. So I grew up Marc Rogala : I'm to now. I just need to out how to the support that I need to help. Amy Lenius: In beautiful British Columbia. And I I mean, how much details do we want? I have a lovely family. I love to be able to say that I grew up in a beautiful home. So that was amazing. My adversity and my struggle definitely comes from my illness, like you said. I Marc Rogala : I I'm going to it a day. I'm going to call a day. I'm going going call day. I'm I'm going to a day. it day Amy Lenius: got to go to incredible schools, have wonderful friends, and I loved sports. I was really into sports and art. I wasn't much into academics, if we're being super honest. Social butterfly, arts, sports. And when they asked you on career day and things, well, what do you want to be when you grow up? I was never very career inclined. When I pictured my future, I actually pictured kids. I wanted to be a mom. That was my biggest thing. But of course, you can't write that on papers. They don't let you do that. They make you rewrite the paper if you write that, actually. And so I would pick something random, but then as I got older, I realized I had to pick something more specific. They get more more particular. Marc Rogala : So I'm going to say. Amy Lenius: As you get higher in your grades. And I started writing down teacher because I loved the idea of information. I loved the idea of empowering others. And I love children. And one day I went around my high school, because you're supposed to go interview people in your field of interest, go, and not a single high school teacher told me it was a good idea. Marc Rogala : entrance. Amy Lenius: Not one of them loved their job, thought it was a great career choice. They all said, no, you're gonna have to pick something else. I'm like, well, I'm not allowed to pick mom. I'm not allowed to pick teacher. I don't even remember what I ended up writing about, actually. But when I look back, hindsight's always 20-20. When you're in all of these things, you never really realize it. But when I look back, I always had a love for educating, for information, for helping others. And motherhood was always at the center of my heart. And then I got a diagnosis that actually affected the ability to be a mom. I struggle with a condition called endometriosis, very female-driven, hormonally driven, and it affected Your ability to have children amongst so many other things. And that's when all of my struggles, adversities, whatever you want to call them, came in. That was in my late teenage years of that diagnosis. And it actually took me a really long time to get diagnosed as well. There was quite a push for that too. That I just I suffered in silence for a really long time because when you first go to the doctor, it was just like, welcome to becoming a woman. This is normal. This is what women just have to go through all the time. And I was like, Marc Rogala : Okay. Amy Lenius: That sucks, but okay. And for years after that, it was just, I felt like I was just the passenger. Marc Rogala : So I think that's a good question. I think that's that's a good think Amy Lenius: I went along with the the the drugs, the surgeries, the hormonal interventions, all the things. And then in my early 20s, I had this moment of, you know what? I'm still in a lot of pain. I'm still really sick. I'm in college. I'm going to school for anatomy and physiology and massage therapy and all of these amazing things. And I'm learning so much about the body. What if I just stopped? What if I just went off of everything? Decided to become What felt like the driver, just a more empowered version of what if I took control of my health for a little while and started to explore and get curious and find what works for me, what doesn't. And that was kind of that big pivotal moment of really starting to take control of my life. And I mean, we can dive into it as much or as little as you want based on where you want the value for your audience. But after that, I mean, everyone wants to know, well, now you're healthy. I have two beautiful children. Marc Rogala : Okay. Amy Lenius: And they want to know, well, what was the one thing that got you pain-free, that got you healthy, that all these things. And it's I never have that answer. It was a bunch of unsexy fundamentals compounded over a decade of work, of just building upon things that were working, finding things that didn't work, some amazing milestones and some really low points, as all journeys are for sure, but it was worth it. Marc Rogala : Okay, when you look back at the younger version of yourself, like what stands out most? Were you always naturally confident? Were you always the one that was encouraging everyone else? Or are these things that these things today that you teach or these things that you struggled with back then? Amy Lenius: I was the encourager, for sure. I was the one, even at the parties after everyone's had too much to drink, I'm the one sitting around being like, okay, it's gonna be fine, and we're gonna do this, and we're gonna put our phones down, we're not gonna call him, we're gonna do all of these things. And so I always felt like I had a bit of that. And there were pros and cons to that, for sure. I mean, especially young socially and things, but I definitely did. Marc Rogala : Did you have a dream as a teenager that life eventually forced you to rewrite? Amy Lenius: I I mean the the teacher one for sure, but then I found my own way back into educating. I really did. After doing I had a practice for a little while, I still ended up back into rooms where I was speaking into people's lives, empowering them with information. And I think one of the biggest realizations through that season of in just empowering people with information and feeling Marc Rogala : Thanks for listening. Amy Lenius: like I had these, you know, three letters behind my name that made me made me smart and all of the things, I had to drop those three letters at some point because I wanted to move on and do other things and I didn't want to pay into the boards anymore that that kept me with those three letters. And that whole season was another identity shift of okay, I don't need to have these three letters behind my name to to be valid enough to listen to and I had to go through and learn that not every story needed to sound as scientific and as smart and all of those things as possible. It actually needed a lot more heart and it needed a lot more mental and emotional support. as well. It wasn't just here's the information, here's why these things can help you with your hormones. Here's why getting rid of these things can help you. I started off speaking in the women's health space and natural wellness spaces. And I could see everyone nodding along and being like, Yeah, that makes sense. But I could after I would check in with them after walking away, they weren't implementing. And so that was another season of okay, it's deeper than just giving people information. It's about understanding who they are as people. It's about understanding identity, why people can't be consistent. And that just led me into all the places. It's led me to where I discovered next level university, these guys talking about holistic self-improvement and the difference between self-belief, self-worth, and how we can get better in health, wealth and love. It's not just about wealth when it comes to success. And they kept using this word holistic and that was a word that I fell in love with when I was sick. I fell in love with the word holistic because that mindset of everything affects everything else was what helped me get better. It wasn't just about this one section in my body that wasn't functioning properly. It was about everything internally needing support because everything is a community inside, as well as your external environment that comes Marc Rogala : Also, I was just going this. I think that's where the other thing that I help us to is that we're going understanding of the that we're And that's not the thing that we're I think that's where the other thing going help us to make a difference is of other things that we're going to And not same thing we're going to to do. I think that's other thing that help Amy Lenius: in and affects you in so many different ways, good or bad. And so now there's these two Marc Rogala : make difference is that to the other things to And Amy Lenius: guys talking about it from a success standpoint and a personal development standpoint and an identity standpoint. And I was like, I need to be that's where my next expansion is to understanding not only my own life, but how I can help others. And then I just made my way in and now I partner with them. Marc Rogala : I'm just to. Kelsey Dunbar: That's awesome. Yeah, it's it's interesting how so many of us picture one version of our future and then life quietly begins writing a different story. So for you, that change obviously started at a very young age. So but Amy, you've you've spoken publicly about living with chronic illness at that young age. Can you take us back to when everything started changing? Like how old were you and what was happening? Amy Lenius: Like when I started changing physically or as a career into that? Kelsey Dunbar: Physically. Amy Lenius: Physically. So I was in my early twenties. I was about twenty three ish at the time. And I had been, you know, in the system doing I had multiple surgeries at this point. I'd been on all sorts of different pain medications. And every time I went in saying, Well, you know, I think I think something else needs to change. It's still not really working. I'm still struggling. I'm, you know, doing school. And I was one of those people that lived life anyways. I was in school. I was doing everything that I could. And it was exhausting at times for sure. But Marc Rogala : Okay. Amy Lenius: I I was one of those people that was going to push through regardless. And every time I would go in for support, it's like, well, let's just up your drugs. Let's up your dosage. And it's like, but that's affecting my life in so many other ways. And it's affecting my body in other ways. Like now I feel sick in other places. My gut health is terrible. Like I this can't be, this can't be right. And actually, if anything, that moment of clarity was built out of so much frustration. Frustration, probably a little bit of rebellion. And I just went off of everything. I was like, well, that's it. We're starting from scratch. I went off of everything. I was living in an apartment downtown Victoria, British Columbia at the time, because that's where I went to to college. And Chris actually, my now husband, had just moved in with me. And so that was a discussion he and I had to have as well. Cause I mean I went off of everything. And I was like, so we're having babies, right? At some point. This is a possibility for us. And yeah, just started from scratch and having his support and so much love around me as that. Marc Rogala : I'm back. Amy Lenius: You know, happen. It's really weird coming off of all of these things that you've been on for years and years and rediscovering who you are outside of those things. That was different. And then leading into curiosity. Okay, well, I'm in school now for this kind of different modality, different. area of health and wellness. What else is there? I went to acupuncture. I did some cranial sacral therapy. I did some really Marc Rogala : Austin. Amy Lenius: intense physiotherapy that was amazing. And then I found this naturopathic doctor who really started to paint the whole picture for me. And I just started going where it felt good and creating a team of wellness practitioners around me that I felt good with, that I felt supported by, not just kind of thrown into. Marc Rogala : I have two questions for you. One, when you came off of those pain medications, just all at once, were you? Was there a sick disturbed? Did you go through a formal withdrawal or anything like that? Amy Lenius: I think I was really lucky in that because I've heard a lot of horror stories around that. I was just really moody. Marc Rogala : Done. Amy Lenius: I was really moody. I struggled to eat sometimes and was very picky with what I was eating and struggled to have energy. Not that I had much to begin with, but there was this like deep dive in my energy and I had some like cognitive stuff because I was in school at the time. And the schooling I was in is an intensive. Like you don't get summers off. You don't get you're committed to the two and a half years full time so that you don't have to go for five or whatever it was supposed to be. And so I did have a bit of a struggle through that, but I was still able to go every day. I think I think pushing through chronic illness actually gave me a lot of skills to be able to deal with Marc Rogala : Thank you. Amy Lenius: physical struggle and still function, actually. Which is good or bad. Marc Rogala : Thanks. Amy Lenius: However you look at it. Marc Rogala : No, I agree. I'm just curious because, know, I'm an addict and alcoholic in recovery, but I was introduced to prescription pain medicine because of a medical issue as well. And that kind of led me down my path. And I remember going to my first form of like early withdrawals and it kind of is what you just described. Irritability, chronic fatigue, hard to get out of bed in the morning. It really wasn't a physical sickness, but as the addiction progressed, it became a physical sickness. So I just wasn't sure what doses they were prescribing you. And then the second question I have for you is you come off of all that and you're doing all these different things. Is this research that you did on your own, like were you in a quest for knowledge of things that you can do to try to get yourself better and get yourself in the position to have a family and so forth? Amy Lenius: Yeah, it was. And it was still like this is this is a long time ago. I wasn't and I was late to technology as well. It wasn't automatic for me to like go seek the internet or go do things like this. Aging myself a little bit here, but I loved the textbooks that I was reading in school. I loved physical copies of books. I wasn't, you know, there wasn't the Facebook support groups and things that there are now or full-on Instagram accounts and all of these amazing things. I was really late to social media too. can't catch on. What is this? What are people doing? Turns out it's a thing, still a thing. Gotta catch up here. But but I was very knowledge driven through through people. I went and connected with people. I connected with books and and things like that. And I just kind of won it. Honestly, this doesn't work. This feels good. This is piquing curiosity. This is making me feel good after a treatment. It was more just following that. And even bringing back like what you asked about coming off of these different medications. For women, it's really different too. When you come off of certain medications, so if you're on, let's say, a really high level of birth control and hormonal therapies, like I was, to try and just keep my hormones at bay because it caused me a lot of trouble. Women have these very complex cycles that they go through every month. But if you're on birth control, you don't have those highs and lows and ebbs and flows. It's just like this. All your hormones just come and go like this. And then you come off of that and all of a sudden you're having this cycle again and you're like, What is this? I feel like a crazy person. I actually called Chris one day at work because he had eaten my secret frozen Mars bar that I kept for emergencies at the back of the freezer. And I had called him crying about it. He's like Are you okay? I was like, I don't think so. I'm literally calling you at work. And he came home with three, the man that he is. But you know, never ate my secret stash again. But it was that. It was like just this weird hormonal out of control like nightmare. Gosh. Funny to think back actually. Marc Rogala : Yeah. Kelsey Dunbar: Is it that is actually a really funny story? So eventually you you got your diagnosis and while that answered one question, I'm guessing it created several new ones because knowing what you're facing doesn't automatically tell Marc Rogala : Okay. Kelsey Dunbar: you how to rebuild your life around it. So one thing that I kept coming back to while I was learning about your story is that today you teach self-belief. Marc Rogala : you Kelsey Dunbar: But I have to imagine there was a season where believing in yourself wasn't easy. After years of searching for the answers and and wondering what was happening or trying to explain something others couldn't see, was there ever a moment where you realized I have to trust myself even if nobody else fully understands what I'm experiencing? Amy Lenius: Many, many moments. The diagnosis, like you said, it was this this validating thing, like, okay, I was right, something's wrong. And then it was, yes, something's wrong, and here's what the rest of your life looks like. It was you're never gonna be able to have children, you're gonna be in pain for the rest of your life. Hopefully, when you go through menopause, which is this whole other thing women go through, that it'll go away. And I was like, just looking at this future of okay, I'm just gonna do my best. And I was this passenger. I was I had my moments of so when you go into like archetypes and things, there's this archetype of the victim where you have this like woe is me season. Woe is me, I'm broken, I'm the problem. There's nothing I can do about it. So how can I just go with what these people are telling me and and just do my best. And even that do my best is a higher level of victim. There's lots that that can't even get to that stage initially. And then there's moments where you swing into the villain, especially as I got really frustrated and angry, you know, blaming the system, blaming the medicine, blaming the the things. And I feel like I have some stories that I have my right to do so. But again, it's that's where low self belief and low self worth play is in is a in the victim, is in the villain. And so low self belief, like I said, I grew up in a Marc Rogala : I'm sorry. So. Amy Lenius: really beautiful home. So I had a certain level of self-belief, belief being what you believe you're capable of. Self-belief is self-efficacy. It's what you believe you can achieve, not because you already always know how to do something, but because you believe in your ability to go seek answers, ask who you need to ask, learn what you need to learn and then implement. And I think just through growing up in a beautiful home, playing sports, those kinds of things, I had a good level already, but Becoming pain free and the time it took and the trial and error that it took the people and all these things, that's what built the majority of my self-belief. Self-belief is built through action, through learning, through implementing, and through consistent action over time. And and now, like when I came into this space with Kevin and Alan at Next Level University, they're my gosh, you have so much self-belief. And I was like, I don't think I do. And they're like, No, no, you have low self-worth. They're different. I was like, Got it. So high self-belief, low self-worth. Self-worth is the internal stuff. It's the people pleasing. It's the standards you hold around you. It's it's the the symbiotic but yet sometimes opposing relationship to self-belief based on where they're at. So I came in with really high self-belief. And one of the biggest moments I think that built that for me and became one of my biggest messages when I was speaking into women's life is that you do know your body best. Marc Rogala : So. Amy Lenius: Even if you can't articulate it with the right anatomy and physiology words and all of those things, you know your body best because after my first son was born, I got really sick again. My my condition came back. It was, you know, fighting for my life with this this sweet little babes. And just all my symptoms coming back. And then one day it changed. it was different. It was more extreme. It was a pain that I'm not used to, which is weird to say, but it was this different pain. It was more extreme. It was something that I could barely function through. Which again is saying something for me because I can function through a lot. And so I ended up in the hospital. And they sent me home being like, Well, this is just your endometriosis flaring up. Here's some pain meds. It's like, I I don't think it is. I think it's different. And they're like, nope, it's this, because once you have a diagnosis, now you're in this box as well. Right. So it was a very Marc Rogala : It's something that. Amy Lenius: Very validating diagnosis at the time, but now that's the only thing wrong with you. And so I went home. I ended up going back three more times that week. And they kept sending me home with better pain meds. And then on the fourth, fifth time I went back and I said to my husband who came with me, he I'm like, Don't let me leave. I feel like I'm dying. Don't let me leave until someone does something else, other than give me these drugs. And so luckily that night I got a Marc Rogala : It's nice. Amy Lenius: Great doctor, great doctor. He came in, he's like, You've been here a lot this week. I said, I have. Please don't send me home. He's like, No, let's get you in for an ultrasound. Why hasn't anyone done any testing? I have opinions on that. And so he did and I was whipped into surgery. I had a cyst burst on the back of my ovary and not closed. So I had an internal bleed and I was I was dying. And if they had kept sending me home with drugs, I would have died in my sleep, the surgeon said. It was like this this big deal. And so that was this, okay. I knew. I knew just like I knew years ago that there was something different, something wrong. I had something that was more severe than just a painful period. It was something. And then that was my very solidifying moment. So I went in and had the surgery. They were able to do what they needed to do. And They also went in and cleaned out all the excess endometrial tissue as well. Like it's a so endometriosis is a buildup of excess tissue. It's like a non-cancerous cancer. Cells go and proliferate outside of where they're supposed to and it causes a lot of problems. So while he was in there, cleaned it all out, he's like, Okay, so now that I've cleaned house, basically, you can when you feel better, you should have more success getting pregnant. And that's when we were able to have our second son. So it was really, really beautiful, but also just this moment of like, okay. Marc Rogala : and the opposite models. Amy Lenius: I know. Marc Rogala : Yeah, I mean, I think you bring up a great point when you're in the medical system about self-advocacy. You need to advocate for yourself. And I think a lot of people don't do that. Okay, I'm going through a situation right now with my dad, where he's battling some sickness right now. And I ask him the question, what did you ask this? Did you ask that? Or I asked my mom, did you ask that the cardiologist this? And they don't ask the questions, just listen to the doctor. And I'm like, you got to tell the doctor the symptoms that you're experiencing. Ask questions and advocate for yourself. And I think that's a great lesson for the audience for sure. Amy Lenius: It is so important. And to and to walk in knowing that you are the most responsible. You are the one at the end of the day who actually cares the most about how you're feeling, about your health. Like everyone can act sympathetic, empathetic, they can support you in things, but you're the only one who's gonna care as much as anyone else needs to. And to go in and ask the questions and treat Whoever you're seeing like a partner in this with you, not that they're necessarily a hundred percent the leader. And I know that that's hard to hear and that's sad to say because initially I wanted to go in and be like, okay, you're Marc Rogala : Thanks. Amy Lenius: the smart one. You're the smart one. You just tell me what I need to do. You create this system for me because you're the one who should know. But I just I don't believe in that much in that as much anymore. I deeply believe we need to be a co-creator in our wellness for sure. Marc Rogala : I agree. Do you think, like looking back now, do you think that rebuilding self-trust was one defining moment or was it something that happened through dozens of small decisions over time? Amy Lenius: the small decisions over time for sure. It's amazing to be able to do big things in in the odd moment. Like that's amazing and that does great things for you, but it doesn't build into your identity. You need to do things small, consistently, sustainably over time to build into someone like that. And I do believe it was that. It was the small things that I had to stay consistent with every day to get healthy, to stay pain-free. There's things I have to do still all the time to keep my inflammation down, to be pain-free, to be happy, healthy. Like they're so habitual now, I don't even notice that I'm doing them, but it's still stuff that I do every day. And the more you keep the promises that you make to yourself, the more you do the things you say you're gonna do, the more More self belief and self worth you're going to have. And so that's where a lot of that work has come in for me, for sure. Marc Rogala : Thank you. Kelsey Dunbar: Yeah, it's interesting because rebuilding isn't always about getting back to where you were. Sometimes it's it's about becoming someone entirely different. And listening to your story, it sounds like your health wasn't the only thing changing. Amy Lenius: Yeah. Yeah, which is wild. Kelsey Dunbar: So yeah. At what point did Marc Rogala : Thank Kelsey Dunbar: at what point did you realize I'm not just trying to get healthy again? I'm actually rebuilding my relationship with myself because those seem to be like two really Marc Rogala : related to the science of. Kelsey Dunbar: different things. Amy Lenius: and yet they go hand in hand, which is amazing. I think once I had enough results physically, I had the capacity to be able to have more awareness around, okay, there's like a mental and emotional aspect here as well. The more I heal physically, the more I realize, there's a lot of mental and emotional things that need processed and brought along with me. And that was something. Marc Rogala : Okay. Thank you. Amy Lenius: What a like realization that that was, not only for myself, but for the people I was serving and the people I was working with and speaking into their lives and things at this time. It was how connected, again, everything is. It's not separate. Your physical is not separate from your mental and emotional, and vice versa. They're so connected. So as I felt like I had just this space to breathe a little bit, it was like, okay, what mindsets are keeping me here? What beliefs are keeping me here and how can I expand my mindset, my belief, and just take that and continue and continue and continue. I feel like it's two feet on the same body. Yes, there's physical and you can take as many steps as you can, but if you don't take steps with the other one, you're gonna start walking in circles. And so the more you do physically, if you can keep the mental and emotional and spiritual and things into that with you. Marc Rogala : It's. Amy Lenius: The further you're gonna go and you're gonna actually start heading in a direction instead of in circles. And so that was neat. It was yes, I was rebuilding and becoming this whole other person while also at the same time discovering who I actually was, especially through a lot of self-worth work. When you stop people pleasing and just appeasing and dimming and and doing all of these things for the sake of others, and you start being like, Well, what do I actually think here? What do I actually believe? What do I actually want to say, think, do, feel? Marc Rogala : Okay. Amy Lenius: It's wild how much you discover but also like uncover of what was really there. So it's neat. You're becoming this whole other person, but also coming back to who you actually are. Marc Rogala : Okay. Kelsey Dunbar: Yeah, just to to kind of expound on that point, with our book we call it the mind body rhythm approach. It's kind of like what you talk about with your holistic approach. So, you know, mind, mindset, body is movement and nutrition and the rhythm is the daily habits, the daily rituals. So, you know, we get that for sure. Marc Rogala : And my question for you is, know, when you're, when you are practicing this on a daily basis, or if you're working with somebody that you're coaching, I'm assuming that mindfulness or living in the present or one day at a time is a big part of that approach. Amy Lenius: It depends on the person. But yes, there's an aspect of it. You want to be looking in the future so that you know what the day needs to look like. Like what is the day building towards? What is the goal? When you have the goal, you can dictate the habits of the day. So even I had the goal to help balance my hormones, support my hormones holistically. And so that was the goal. And so every day I needed to interject certain teas, certain herbs, certain supplements, certain foods, not Marc Rogala : of the benefits. Amy Lenius: do certain things. But that was based on the goal. And so you want to be projecting Marc Rogala : Okay. Amy Lenius: into the future that you want, the person you want to become, and start putting in those little things every day while honoring the life you have now. I think a lot of people make the mistake of, okay, well, if I want to let's say start a fitness journey, I want to start going to the gym for an hour every day and lift Marc Rogala : Thank Amy Lenius: heavy weights. That's the goal, but people start that tomorrow. And then they go for three days, they're exhausted, they can't lift their arms or sit down properly, and then they blame themselves or the gym. Marc Rogala : Correct. Amy Lenius: But in reality, if you've never done that before, we need to start small. We need to build the Marc Rogala : Thank Amy Lenius: capacity, the identity of someone who can do that. So let's start injecting these habits so that yeah, in a certain amount of time, you're you're that person who can go to the gym every day, lift those heavyweights. That's amazing. And that is true through all goals: wellness goals, health goals, monetary goals, everything. The goals that I have in the future are are quite large, but I have to be. Marc Rogala : So. Amy Lenius: intentional in the season that I'm in now. I can't be doing those things that I'm going to be doing later on now because I am deeply in motherhood. I homeschool my kids. My kids are coming into these teenage years. It's amazing. And so like that's the season I'm in. And then I get to build my schedule, my habits and things around that. That's what I value right now. But as my children need me less, I get to do more and more and more with the goals that I've already set and I start get to interject those things. But it's sustainable Marc Rogala : So. And Amy Lenius: It's with intention, with the life that I have now that I want to have, but also while honoring the life I'm going Marc Rogala : also. Amy Lenius: to build. And so that's what we do. And and it's very much based on levels of self-belief. If you have high self-belief, I'm coming at you with a very different language than if you have low self-belief. If you have low self-belief, we're talking a different language. And the people who speak the same language into everybody, thinking their language is the language of everybody, thinking the thing that helped them is the thing to help them. That's where I think there's some red flags that can happen because you're doing more harm than good if you're speaking to someone with high self-belief language who has really low self-belief. That needs to come up first before you start speaking to them that way. And so there's so many through lines of success principles that you can interject into people's lives that are the same, but the way they look is based on the life, the lifestyle, the the level of belief, confidence, self-worth. Ability to be consistent and of course honoring the goal and the result. So it depends on the person, but there's some through lines there for sure. Marc Rogala : Yeah, no, I completely get that. I one of the things that we talk about is specifically with the individuals I work with, you know, they're struggling on the mental health addiction or alcoholism side is, you know, you're told you pretty much have to change everything, you know, and the goal obviously, a lot of people I work with is, you know, sobriety, but I always talk about a recovery lifestyle. And a lot of times there has to be changes that are multifaceted. Mindset is one that Kelsey alluded to earlier. diet, lot of people that I work with, including myself, when I was going through my issues, my diet was terrible. You know, but I mean, you just can't change everything at once. So the first thing I did was cut pop out of my diet and then kind of build from there. And then that exercise is a critical component of my recovery. But early on it was walking, literally walking. I mean, I was voided the gym for probably 30 years and now I'm in the gym on a regular basis, but it built to that point, you know, and then through that, you know, came the you know, the self-confidence and the self-worth and the self-love and everything else that you're working on with the mindset, you know, as you're progressing. So, no, I appreciate your answer. Another question I have for you, okay, is there a part of the old Amy that you actually let go of, not because she was bad, but simply because it wasn't the person that you were becoming anymore? Amy Lenius: Hmm. Yeah. The that victim mindset, the I can't do it mindset that I had in the beginning, for sure. Like I'm not capable. I'm this sickly I had to let go of, I mean, even when I started like my fitness journey, after I was healthy enough to be able to do that, Alan, our CEO, he's got a fitness background like you guys and things. So he helps with fitness and stuff as well. He was like, okay, well, let's start, let's start getting you working out every day. I was like, Alan, you don't know me. my gosh, my body is this broken piece of garbage. You can't just like throw it in there. And he was like, Okay, so right there, your body's a broken piece. Of garbage. No wonder you don't move it regularly. Marc Rogala : I'm. Amy Lenius: He's like, Do you genuinely believe that? I'm like, I know that. Marc Rogala : I think. Amy Lenius: So even there, I Marc Rogala : Yeah. Amy Lenius: had to shift these beliefs. But what I was doing, I wasn't setting myself up for success at all. I would go from zero to ten. Marc Rogala : assessment. Amy Lenius: I haven't moved my body in a really long time. I'm feeling good enough to do so. So let's do this like 30 day ridiculous thing. And I would kick up my inflammation, get so sick, and go Marc Rogala : Thanks. Amy Lenius: back to like minus 10, not even zero. And so I was doing this yo-yo thing because I would do it out of just perfectionism was one. If you have low self-worth, you struggle with perfectionism as well. And it was all or nothing. And so I would throw myself, if you look at let's say your comfort zone versus growth versus too much, if you look at it as a target, your comfort zone's in the center. And it's been built by you for a reason. There's there's great things in there, there's not so great things in there. Just because something is comfortable doesn't mean it's good. Just because something feels hard doesn't mean it's bad, right? And your comfort zone is here. The goal is to step out into the next layer, into the growth zone, it's called. We wanna step out into it. We wanna step out into it so much that our comfort zone starts to encompass that growth zone. What was once in the growth zone becomes comfortable, and that keeps expanding and expanding. But what happens is we go from the comfort zone. Into the outer layer, which is the anxiety zone, where we don't have the capacity, the capabilities, the identity to hang. We have to build into that. And we go from zero to 10 into the anxiety zone, we freak out, we blame ourselves or the thing, and then we come back to the comfort zone. And like this is where I live now, right? Marc Rogala : Yeah. Amy Lenius: We need to do the steps. Just the steps. And so that's what I did. I started with he's like, Okay, well let's break it down. Can you go to the gym every day? I said, hard pass, Alan. Mm-mm. First of Kelsey Dunbar: This Amy Lenius: all, I have children. I homeschool. I don't even have a gym in my town. Guys, I live in a super small town. The gym is like forty-five minutes away, so no. He's like, okay. I'm like, so home workouts, absolutely. And the same, we just started with walking. I love walking. I'm not a non-active human. It just wasn't as intentional for certain fitness goals. We walk, we hike, we swim. Like, let's just add one in with intention, not just for family experiences. Awesome. And that's where we started. And I needed variety as well. Especially women were so variety driven. Marc Rogala : I'm going have to get you all for certain message. I can actually see my name on the screen. Amy Lenius: And so I needed to be able to say, okay, he's like, okay, well, so let's lift weights every day for this amount of time. I was like, No mm. Nope. Too restricting. I was like, okay. And then we've just broke it down, broke it down. And this is what we do with everybody. And we found wording that made sense to me. I'm going to move my body in an aligned way every day for 30 minutes. The 30 minutes, that piece is really, really important because then you can measure. Right. Did I do it for the 30 minutes? Okay, today I'm feeling really, really good. So I'm gonna go and I'm gonna do something more excessive. Okay, today I'm at a part in my cycle where I have no energy. I'm not feeling great. I'm gonna go for a walk and do some yoga and some long form stretching. It was still all Counted because I was just moving my body intentionally. And with that, I've been able to build up. I think I just crossed. Like over 1450 days of moving my body every day. And that has built, I weightlift now, I do all of these amazing things, but that built through conscious effort of sustainability, through honoring whatever my day was, through all of these little things. Adaptability is a really key point of consistency. If you don't have permission and grace to adapt in the day, if you need to, okay, I was gonna do my workout this morning, I woke up, the kids are Marc Rogala : So. Amy Lenius: sick, the dogs escaped. It's not happening. I don't just give up on the day. It's okay. Now I have to work it into my evening somehow. And it's gonna look different maybe than it did this morning and that's okay. I'm still getting it done. It's keep the promise but adapt the the execution, the the action. That's really important for consistency. And the more I did it, the more permission I had to do that, the more my self-worth built. Again, more self-trust, more self-worth. It's just layered and layered and layered. And like I said, now it's it's been so many days, but that's key. You want to have a measurable amount of time or number to something. Maybe it's emails every day. Start with 10. 10's too much, drop it to five. Feeling good about the 10, up it to 15, whatever that looks like, and get a streak going. You can hack your neurobiology and your neuroscience. Like there's so much in there. If you get a streak, Marc Rogala : So. Amy Lenius: going after like twenty, thirty days, you're like, well, I'm not feeling it today, but I'm not gonna go back to zero. I'm gonna do something. So doing things like keeping track, adaptability, sustainability, all of those things, that's how people and myself are able to be consistent in things that that once felt impossible. Kelsey Dunbar: So first of all, I just want to say that your answer to that question could have actually been its own podcast episode just from that one question. That was so many golden nuggets in in one question that people could reframe their entire existence off your answer to that one question. That was amazing. So but what one thing that obviously we relate to is that at some point you're rebuilding Marc Rogala : So. Okay. Kelsey Dunbar: stopped being only about Amy and it started becoming about helping other people to rebuild too. So do you remember when you first realized maybe everything I've gone through isn't just for me anymore. Was there a specific conversation, Marc Rogala : Thanks. Kelsey Dunbar: person, or experience where helping others suddenly became a part of your new purpose? Amy Lenius: Yeah. You know, I don't think I've ever been asked that. Good question. It was when I was still I was still practicing and I had a lot of women in my practice and they would come to me for a lot of like pre and postnatal care and pelvic balancing and I got to do all of this amazing stuff. And when people are on the table, just like I know when people are in the gym with you and when they're in the hairdressing chair and things, they they talk a lot. Marc Rogala : Okay. Okay. Amy Lenius: They have a lot to say and they're actually looking to you as this person who seems to have advice as, you know, whether it be because you know about the body, whether it be anything. And I started teaching them what I was learning about my cycle and how women are so different week to week to week. And we're told to just kind of keep functioning the same. We're expected to keep functioning the same. We're expected to push through all of these different hormonal changes and things. And I was just, I think a part of it again came from being super frustrated that we don't learn things like this as we're growing up in school. And They just had so many questions. They couldn't believe that they didn't know these things about their body and why certain I mean, y when you get good enough. Marc Rogala : Thank you. Amy Lenius: at like working on the human body and things, I could tell where women were in their cycles just based on how their low back appeared, how like so it was really amazing to be able to integrate it into the conversation for them. And they just had so many questions. And then it was, you know, people asking about how, how I became healthier, how I was having pain free cycles even, and how all of these amazing things were these conversations were happening. And then I just got invited into bigger rooms to talk about it. And you know, my keynote ended up being eventually holistic healing for your hormones that I got to go and do and give. And it was all very based on information that should be baseline, basic information about our female bodies and what we can do about it daily. That's that's non-invasive, that's natural, that's that's you know, not only where we're inserting certain things like different herbs and stuff to support us, but where it's stress reduction and you know, the people, places, things, ideas, how they all come in. And it was those conversations initially with the ladies on the table that were just as so unaware as I was. Marc Rogala : I say this almost every podcast we have a guest on. Everybody's story is different. But I never focus on the differences, I focus on the similarities and I can relate to just about everything that you're saying with the work that I do and what I went through personally. So it really is amazing. So the one thing that I've learned is that when you're coaching individuals, there's a big difference between something that you've studied versus teaching something that you've survived. So how has living your own story changed the way that you coach people? Amy Lenius: Mmm, it's where my heart is in the work for sure. When I have women come in and they're struggling with their consistency, I'm like, I have you. my gosh, I have you. Here's why you struggle to be consistent. Where you crush it, you crush it a week ago, and this week you feel like a potato and you can't keep up with your habits. That's so normal. Let me tell you why. I just, I just light up. So even though it looks like I've jumped from Speaking about women's health to partnering with these two, you know, bodybuilder looking bros who are just so these just healthy, masculine, intelligent, heart-driven men. That's where the the leap was. It looks like this weird jump, but in reality, it it fits so well with everything I was already doing. It just expands the knowledge. And I've been so celebrated and supported to bring what Marc Rogala : sorry. Amy Lenius: I know and do into this space again that was found. Marc Rogala : So. So. Amy Lenius: And created by men. But they had so many heart-driven women in their community. And so that was really fascinating to come in and be a part of. And so even on podcasts, still I get to talk about women's health. I get to do all of these things. And when I work with the ladies that I get to work with, as far as one-on-one coaching and things, I always get to bring that in. And that's why the self-belief, the self-worth, the consistency-like those kinds of found foundational and fundamental principles that have changed my life. are just a huge part of the work that I get to do. And I can't help but when I get to work with these incredible women, bring in their cycles, their nature, what they're working against unconsciously, and how can we work with it consciously. And just how much permission and validation women really need to live their version of success in the world. Because I've had to fight for mine along the way, to be someone who even homeschools her kids, who works from home and does the work that I do. A lot of people don't don't get it. And I've had to learn to not only be okay with that, but be really strong and certain in that as well and to be able to talk about it without justifying. Is a big one. And so all of that when I get to do that work with other women, and I get to work with men too. And it always looks different, but it still gets to come through in these really beautiful ways. But that's yeah, what I've been through, grown through, discovered, become has my heart in my work. Absolutely. Kelsey Dunbar: Yeah. So Marc Rogala : Do you ever find yourself sitting across from someone and thinking, remember exactly where you are because I used to be there. Amy Lenius: Yeah. Even like you said, it might it might look different, but the through line and Marc Rogala : Yeah. Amy Lenius: the feelings are very, very similar. Marc Rogala : That happens to me all the time. honestly, it's self motivating for me too. It's a gentle reminder of where you are, how far you come, and still where you want to be. Kelsey Dunbar: Yeah, so you've talked about Alan and Kevin. And so obviously that that brings up the next level coaching. And I haven't gotten to know Kevin yet, but obviously I've had a few experiences with Alan, which makes some of your answers talking about Alan and your relationship so much more entertaining for me because I know him. But today you're the director of group coaching at next level university. And for those who may not be familiar, what has that opportunity meant to you personally and what excites you most about the work that you're doing? Amy Lenius: what has it meant to me personally? Marc Rogala : at. Amy Lenius: I think initially that they saw something in me that no one else had been able to fully celebrate and articulate. That was amazing for me to be able to come into a space where I was so celebrated, so validated. There was so much permission given to me, but there was also no scarcity around my excellence. As I get better, they only love and celebrate and promote me more. Whereas I've been in spaces where the better I got, the less I was allowed to be. And so this has been very healing for me actually in a lot of ways, this this space. But just initially, so I was working as a client with them and I sent Alan my keynote speech that won holistic healing for your hormones. And I was like, I want some feedback. It's so hard to get feedback as a public speaker because most people are just so impressed that you're up there. Right? They're like, my god, I could never do that. So you're amazing. It's like, thank you. And I would love Some feedback. And so Alan was able to give me some amazing feedback and was just really impressed with what I was able to do in his words without intending to do so. I kind of fell into that a little bit. And Alan's all about what we get, what we attend. And I was like, nah, I was just going along with the ride. Kept saying yes to opportunities and figuring it out. He he calls me a he says, You high-level wing it. It's it's wild to watch. So now when you hear high-level winging it in our community. Marc Rogala : So. I think that's a good one. Amy Lenius: That was me. I started that. And he said, you know, we do a personal development event every year. You're such a great part of the community. All of these things. He's like, What about coming down to the States and MCing and helping us like run this event? And I was like, again, I don't know how to do that. I've never done a personal development event before. But absolutely, I'm gonna come down, figure that out. And I just I fell in love with who they are as people, the work that they do, their heart, their mission, everything. And I just kept working my way deeper and deeper into the company. And I've I mean, I think I'm coming up on year five with them now. And it's been incredible. Like you said, I get to do group coaching, which is one of my favorite things, because you get to see us all interact and work together and have my own coaching practice through them. And I get to do shows like this where I get to come and talk about things that just light me up so much. And then and the three of us have this heart for free value in the world. And that's why we go on shows. It's it's about so much more than just going and talking about us. In fact, if people don't ask us about ourselves, we literally don't care. We want people to grow and thrive and and help help heart-driven humans have more of a voice, which is what we deeply believe a lot of these shows are, like you guys. And so it's such just, I don't know, such a privilege and an honor to be able to come on spaces like this and do this kind of work genuinely. Marc Rogala : Next level university is built, is built a culture around intentional growth. And I respect that. What's one lesson you've learned there that's challenged your own thinking, even after everything that you've already experienced in your life and learned in your life. Amy Lenius: I mean, the lovely answer would be the difference between self-belief and self-worth. The the ridiculous answer is I've learned to value numbers and habit tracking and Google Sheets. Like the fact that I'm in spreadsheets every day, like who am I? This is the influence that Alan has over you. The fact that I talk about goals and habits and numbers was not Not natural for me for sure. And now I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed with tracking my numbers every day, helping others do the same, what that looks like, how to reverse engineer goals and track those habits every day. Because that's it's so unsexy. Like we are not fun people to like at all. We get results and it's these unsexy fundamentals that really, really matter. No I mean we're not flashy on social media, we're not popular in a lot of spaces for a reason, but we have results and we have an unbelievable successful business behind those results. And it's it's these foundational principles that even myself I can't believe that I value so deeply because when Alan initially pitched habit tracking to me again, it was like I have kids. I don't wanna do numbers. You want me to fall asleep with my head on the pillow, being like, my gosh, I didn't even do more of the things I needed to do today? But I was so wrong. It helps create clarity. So much of us are out here just doing busy work, hoping that something sticks. But when you have clarity and certainty that the things you're doing every day are moving the needle towards the life that you actually want, and you can zoom out enough to see the trend line. because you're doing those numbers, like, it's so good. It's so good. So that's like the the real answer. Marc Rogala : Well, I appreciate your honesty for sure. No, that's why I asked it obviously. Kelsey Dunbar: Yeah. So so as I was preparing for today, one phrase kept coming up over and over again, your three gears of success. which is self-worth, self-belief, and consistency. So now that we've heard your story, those three words carry a lot more weight. I'd love for you to unpack that. Why those three and why do you believe that they have to work together? Amy Lenius: Mm. Yeah, those are three fundamental principles of success for sure. You can have so much going for you, but you will always meet the level of your self-belief, your self-worth, and your ability to be consistent. Marc Rogala : Okay. Amy Lenius: That's a big one. And I feel like we've talked about that quite a bit as the through line of the episode, definitely, is that ability to be consistent and what it takes to do so. The humility it involves, the sustainability, the adaptability, and it takes a lot of grit as well, because some days you don't feel like it. Motivation is very fleeting. And to be consistent through that takes grit. But self belief and self worth, that's the identity pieces. That's who you believe you are. And those will always meet you on your success journey in Marc Rogala : I guess it was a question. Amy Lenius: Any form, health, wealth, love, all of them. Self-belief again being that self-efficacy. What do you believe you're capable of? And if it's not a lot, that's okay. You can build it. You can build it. Self-belief is built through action. It is not just mindset work that changes your life. You have to have the action that goes along with it because eventually, if it is just mindset work, your brain is going to be like, but we're not. We're not that. We're not doing this. We're not becoming this because there's no action to back it up. It's like when people give out affirmations thinking it's gonna fix someone's life. It's like, unless you match an action to it, mm-mm. That's that example of low self-belief language. If you give someone with low self-belief affirmations to say in the mirror, I'm successful, I'm amazing. That part in the back of their brain that doesn't believe that they are capable Marc Rogala : I Amy Lenius: and confident is gonna be like, no, you're not. Mm-mm. And they're gonna yell, it's gonna yell at you so much. And it's actually gonna create a lot of problems. When in reality, if you can pair, if you wanna do like affirmations and things, if you can say I am becoming, I am becoming someone who can move my body every day, and you have a habit every day that backs it up, your brain has nothing to argue with. yeah. Look at you, you've moved your body every day for a week. You are becoming Marc Rogala : think. Amy Lenius: something. You are becoming someone who can do that. So it's it's language and it's habits that need to coincide for mindset. Marc Rogala : So. Amy Lenius: and action to become a thing. That was a weird sentence. But That's where self-belief comes in. Action needs to happen though. And it's okay if the action is super small. We talked about that as well. In fact, I encourage the action to be small. But you can build self-belief every day through action. Say you're gonna do something, get it done, have the moment of, hey, I did the thing I said I was gonna do. Nice. Awesome. And just keep going. Self-worth, self-worth is that internal game. If you have high self-belief, like Alan and myself have really high self-belief, we can take action all day, but we will Marc Rogala : Okay. Amy Lenius: Always be tripped up by our low self-worth. So we've had to really focus on self-worth. Whereas Kev came in, Kev's actually had a lot of of self-worth, struggled with self-belief. He needed more action. He needed more belief in his capability. But his standards for himself and around others was very high. He had higher self-worth. Alan and I was in the tank. Marc Rogala : So. Amy Lenius: We always dimmed ourselves for the sake of others. We always people pleased. We always had fear of losing relationships and who we had to be in those relationships. And that's gonna come, you know, if you have high self-belief and you're creating a business and you're taking all of these actions, you're still gonna, if you have low self-worth, find yourself in rooms that maybe you shouldn't be in. You're gonna partner with people that aren't right for you. There's a lot that can come in and and mess with your business. You're not gonna be able to invest in yourself the way you need to. You're gonna fall into comparison in an unhealthy way instead of for inspiration. That's a good low self worth move. So self-worth is the inner work. It's you, it's your standards, it's who you surround yourself with. It's social courage. It's you being your authentic self. Who is that and what does that mean? There's a lot that goes into it. It is, I am so convinced that self-worth work is the epitome of discomfort now for greatness later. Marc Rogala : Okay. Amy Lenius: Because it is so uncomfortable to start doing some of those practices. Holding boundaries if you're not used to doing that. Ooh, that's so uncomfortable. But it's so worth it. And then consistency we've done. But self-belief, self-worth and consistency. If you can pick one of those, start running with it, and then add in the others, it's it's going to help you and your goals so much. Marc Rogala : So when someone comes to you and they say that I'm just stuck, okay, which gear is usually the first one that's broken most of the time? Amy Lenius: I always I always check on self-belief first. Always. Self belief if you had to make one of the gears a bit bigger, self-belief sprinkles its way into the other two as well. Self-belief is I mean A foundation of self-worth is keeping the promises you make to yourself. That might as well be self-belief, taking the action you say you're gonna do. You need a level of belief in the thing that you're gonna be consistent in as well. So when Alan pitched, okay, well let's start lifting weights every day, I had no belief in my ability to do that. So it wasn't a smart move for us to try and do it anyways. We had to go to my level of belief so that I could be consistent in moving my body every day for a half hour to start. So belief is sprinkled through. So I absolutely check on their level of self-belief. Where are we at with this? What action are we taking? Is the thing you're trying to do even in your realm of belief, or do we need to break it down a little more? Or maybe it's too small and you're not motivated by it. It's you've you've you've grown and you've expanded into this amazing person and maybe your identity hasn't caught up yet. And maybe that's a self-worth thing. Let's go there. But we our coaching clients all habit track. Marc Rogala : Okay. Amy Lenius: They all have habit trackers. They all have their little sheet that I can go in and I can actually look and see. Okay, where are we getting zeros? Why is that? Is it not sustainable for us yet? Is it even important? Maybe we threw it in there to see if something stuck and it's not the needle's still moving, you're still growing, you're still feeling good and you're you know, struggling to do this thing. Maybe it's not the time for it or maybe it's not as important as we thought it was. You can go in and dissect through these three lenses for sure, but self belief is always the the foundation Marc Rogala : That's not the problem. Amy Lenius: where you want to start. Marc Rogala : That's not the Got a follow up question and I'm really curious to hear your answer on this. Can someone become incredibly disciplined and still be building the wrong life because they never stopped to ask who they're becoming? Amy Lenius: 100%. How many people have you met and they've gotten these results and they're not fulfilled? They thought they were gonna be happy, and happiness is this weird thing that we all seem to wanna to chase, and we think it's this deeper emotion than it actually is. Happiness is is fleeting, it's superficial. Fulfillment, that's different. Fulfillment is deeper, it's more challenging, it often requires more of you, so it feels harder. But there's so many people. That's why when the guys were talking about holistic success, I was like, I love that. Because a lot of people are really good, let's say, making money. They thrive in the economy, but they struggle with their health and with their relationships. Or you see people who are so good at relationships. They're just these wonderful humans and they can't make a dime and it sucks. Marc Rogala : Yeah. Amy Lenius: And so to bring in how they all affect each other and how we can get better in each one just by a little bit every day and how it's going to create a more holistic, fulfilling version of success really spoke to me because yeah, a lot of people have built in and built something that isn't even within their values, isn't even within their beliefs. It's been other people's beliefs, other people's values, society's values, parental, whatever it looks like. And they get there and they're like, this is not what I wanted at all. This doesn't feel right. I don't feel fulfilled. I don't feel excited. I don't feel passionate, purposeful here. And that's tough, but you can pivot. You can always pivot. You can always expand. I talked about a little bit earlier dropping those three letters behind my name. That was a pivot for me to go and to give up my practice, drop those three letters so that I could affect more lives than just one an hour on the table. Marc Rogala : So. Amy Lenius: It was a weird time, but it was worth it for sure. Marc Rogala : And again, can relate to completely relate because, you know, when I'm talking to somebody, let's just say middle aged, okay. And they're going through struggles on their mental health. And, know, from the outside, looking in, looks like they have everything. And then you start diving deep and asking questions and so forth. It really comes down to fulfillment and purpose and passion. is this the only, is this it? Is this my life right now? They feel like they're missing something in their life. So I really appreciate and respect your answer because I hear that every single day, multiple times per day with the work that I do. Amy Lenius: And what's scary is some people they just think, okay, well, I have to uproot my whole life. Now, if you have the means to do so and that's aligned to do so and all of these things, love that for you. However, are we chasing something where we look, you know that saying the grass is greener on the other side? We always have to look at are we watering the one we have first? Marc Rogala : Correct. Amy Lenius: Why is this one green? Is yours dead? Have you neglected it? Because lots of people you see that in relationships all the time. Well, I'm not gonna water this one, I'm gonna go Marc Rogala : I love you. Amy Lenius: find a new one and see what happens. It's like, well, you're gonna take your bad habits with you. So what are we doing here? And I think people don't think that they can find passion, purpose, and all of these things in the life they currently have. Marc Rogala : of the season. Amy Lenius: And for some some portions of your life, that's Marc Rogala : Thank Amy Lenius: very, very true. And maybe you can't separate yourself from that piece yet. But Marc Rogala : Thank Amy Lenius: what can we do? In the meantime, to build you up into the person who can have more, do more, be more, all of these things. And even if you're in a career where it's well, I can't just quit my job. Okay, well, what can we bring into it? What can we bring into the rest of your life right now? There's so much you can do. Life is so full. There's so much you can do. And then bigger moves can come later if it even feels like they need to happen again. But Marc Rogala : So. Amy Lenius: The day to day people really dismiss the quality and the feelings and things they have day to day. If you can start building really important things, things that matter to you as the individual, again, success is so subjective. It's such a subjective word. There's no objective success. Now we've been told there's objective success. And for men, it looks like, you know, what's your car? What's your career? Do you have a hot wife? Like we're told it's objective success. But and for women it's different as well. And unfortunately for women it's very blurry. If you're a mom, you should work. If you work, you're a Marc Rogala : Okay. Amy Lenius: Bad mom, it's this whole thing that women have to go through, this hurdle of so many subjected like identities injected into you. But it's so subjective. And when you give yourself permission to be like, I get to create my own version of this, and you start to learn, okay, well, what are my beliefs? What are my values? How can I start building a life that's actually rooted in the values that I have? It just starts to feel different every day, and your quality of life gets better. Marc Rogala : I'm Amy Lenius: every day. I'm not saying the day-to-day isn't hard. I do hard things every day, but it's of value to me and it is worth it and it feels better. Right. There's a question I ask myself all the time and this is a deeper rooted question. I don't usually start this with people, but it's is this gonna increase or decrease my self respect? Marc Rogala : So. Amy Lenius: That's a harder question because typically the answer is the harder choice. And we don't want to start there, but I'm at a space in my journey where I can. And it's it's a hard choice sometimes, but I am wildly fulfilled and feel the most holistically successful that I ever have. Marc Rogala : college students is accessible. Kelsey Dunbar: Yeah, so I'm gonna take a quick departure from the minefield of knowledge bombs that you're you're laying at our feet here. This is this has just been amazing. and before we ask our final question, which is reminiscent of our Rebuild and Fulfill podcast, I do want to give the opportunity for somebody listening today, Marc Rogala : Thank you. Kelsey Dunbar: if they really connected with your story and they want to learn more about your work, or where's the best place to find you, and if there's anything that you wanted Marc Rogala : Okay. Kelsey Dunbar: to share with our listeners before we kind of get to the wrap up. Amy Lenius: Sure, thank you. I am a very simple being. Like I said, I was late to the game and I'm gonna just plant my flag on Instagram and Facebook. I know that there's so many other ones, I can't even. It's just at Amy Lennius on either one of those platforms. And why I say those ones because when you reach out to Kevin Allen or myself on those platforms, you do get us. It's not our assistant, it's not AI, you get us. And if you love these kind of conversations, we would love to have a conversation with you because we believe in growth-oriented conversations, but we also believe now more than ever that it's human-to-human connection that is going to be the most valuable as time moves forward. So that's something that we're definitely committed to doing. Marc Rogala : I'm sorry. Kelsey Dunbar: Definitely put those links in the show notes for people to be able to reach out to you. And then that brings us to our final question. So our audience is filled with people who Marc Rogala : So small. Kelsey Dunbar: are rebuilding. Some are rebuilding after illness, some after burnout, some after loss, failure, addiction, or simply realizing that the life they've built no longer feels like their own. If somebody listening today has been surviving for so long that they've stopped trusting themselves Marc Rogala : Thank you. Kelsey Dunbar: or they don't even know where rebuilding begins. What would you tell them and where does their journey back to themselves start? Amy Lenius: Mm. I would tell them that self-awareness is a superpower. It really is. The more you understand yourself, the whys of it all, what you say, think, do, feel, believe, and why those are there, the more control you have over your life. So there's personal development, social development, and professional development, but the more you understand yourself, the more aligned, more confident, more capable you're gonna show up in those other arenas, socially, economically, those kinds of things. And I think a through line of this episode has been to start small, but start something. Start with action. I mean, even when people ask me, well what was the one thing for your health journey? Was it tackling your hormone health, your gut health, your stress, your im Yes, it was all of it, but at some point you just gotta get in there. It's like the chicken and the egg. There's this cycle, you just gotta get in there. It doesn't matter almost what came first. Start something. What spoke to you today was it self-belief, then start taking small action. Was it self-worth? Okay, let's start keeping some promises and assessing how we are socially. What are our boundaries? Those kinds of things. And if it's consistency, I'm gonna ask you to start small. I'm gonna ask you to lead with so much humility to start small, be sustainable, allow adaptability, but also pull and grit as often as you can. But it's action always that's gonna get you out of situations and building into something that means something to you. Kelsey Dunbar: I recently I used the perfection is the enemy of done. So yeah. Amy, thank you so much. One of the things that's really stayed with me throughout this conversation is that rebuilding isn't always about getting your old life back. Sometimes it's about discovering a stronger version of yourself that you never would have met otherwise. And your story reminds us that healing isn't always linear, growth isn't always comfortable. Amy Lenius: Yeah. Kelsey Dunbar: And learning to trust yourself again may be one of the most courageous things that any of us will ever do. So thank you for sharing your story, your honesty, and your heart with Marc, myself, and everyone that's gonna be listening to this podcast. And we truly appreciate you being here. Amy Lenius: thank you so much for having me and such great questions fueling such a wonderful conversation. Thank you so much. Marc Rogala : There's. Kelsey Dunbar: You're extremely welcome. And to everyone listening, thank you for spending a part of your day with us. And if Amy's story encouraged you, or if you know someone who's in the middle of rebuilding their own life, please share this episode with them. Conversations like this have a way of reaching people exactly when they need them most. And if you're enjoying Rebuild and Fulfill, we'd be incredibly grateful if you'd take a moment to follow the show, leave us a rating and a review, and help us continue bringing stories of hope, resilience, and transformation to more listeners. Remember, Rebuilding doesn't mean going backward. It means taking everything life has taught you and using it to build something stronger. So until next time, keep rebuilding, keep growing, and never lose sight of the person you're becoming. We'll see you next time on Rebuild and Fulfill. Take care.