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MONEY DIARIES: Turning Life Around After Parental Financial Abuse · She's On The Money

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: the Order Kerney Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I
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  Speaker 1: would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country,
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming
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  Speaker 1: through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing
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  Speaker 1: and the storytelling of you to make a difference for
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  Speaker 1: today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: Let's get into it.
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  Speaker 3: She's on the Money, She's on the Money.
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money the podcast
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: and millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome back to another
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: one of our money diaries, which are my favorite episodes
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: of the week. It is absolutely no secret where I
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: get the opportunity to talk to one of our incredible
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: She's on the Money community members all about their journey.
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  Speaker 2: Let's jump straight into it, because this week I got
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: a message and it sounded like this. Hi, Victoria, my
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: money story is a little grim. I was financially abused
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  Speaker 2: by my parents up until the age of nineteen, when
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  Speaker 2: I slowly started to cut them off. I worked full
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: time and went to UNI to get my life back.
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  Speaker 2: I clawed my way out of twenty three thousand dollars
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  Speaker 2: worth of debt, and when my grandmother passed away, I
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  Speaker 2: bought a house from her estate. I now work and
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: study full time and have recently taken on a shared
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: care role of my sixteen year old sister. Oh my gosh,
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: money darist, you just sound like the most special human
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  Speaker 2: being in the entire world.
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  Speaker 4: Ah, I don't feel that way. I don't feel very special.
• 2:01
  Speaker 4: I feel like I've just done what I had to
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  Speaker 4: do and it's all waked down. You do what you
• 2:04
  Speaker 4: do because you have to do it.
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  Speaker 2: I love that. But too many people don't step up
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  Speaker 2: to the plate, and you did. I mean, I don't
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  Speaker 2: know nearly enough about your shared care role of your
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: sixteen year old sister. I'm going to because I'm gonna
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  Speaker 2: ask six million questions about it. Because that's what's so
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: great about Money Diaries. I could be pervy because you're anonymous,
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: but that's where you know your sister could have ended
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  Speaker 2: up in the foster system. Like there are so many
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  Speaker 2: different outcomes, and when I say that you're a special human,
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: Like you are a special human because you stepped up.
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  Speaker 2: That's elite that I think so many people in this
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  Speaker 2: situation or in similar situations always go yeah, V like
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  Speaker 2: I don't feel that special, Like I just did what
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  Speaker 2: I had to do. Do you know how many people
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  Speaker 2: don't do what they should do? Wild? But let's do
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: a money story and a money diary, because I am
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: very excited to learn more about you money diarist. I
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  Speaker 2: always start the episodes with the same question, so let's
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: begin there. I want to know what grade would you
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  Speaker 2: give your money habits if I forced you to give
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: them a grade from A through to F.
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  Speaker 4: I thought about this really hard because I think over
• 3:01
  Speaker 4: the years, I feel like I've flitted properly between an
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  Speaker 4: F to an A. I think at the moment, i'd
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  Speaker 4: probably give myself a seat plus.
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  Speaker 2: A C plus. All right, let's learn more about that.
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  Speaker 2: But first I want to know can you tell me
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  Speaker 2: a little bit more detail about your money story.
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  Speaker 4: So obviously, as I've mentioned, I was financially abused by
• 3:19
  Speaker 4: my parents. I first got a job when I was
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  Speaker 4: fourteen in hospitality, as many of us do, and some
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  Speaker 4: of my earliest memories is my parents turning around to
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  Speaker 4: me like, all right, cool, let's go pick up your paycheck.
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  Speaker 4: So it was all pashion hand.
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  Speaker 1: I know.
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  Speaker 4: It was just like i'ld maybe get fifty bucks out
• 3:34
  Speaker 4: of it. We weren't talking much, maybe two hundred bucks
• 3:36
  Speaker 4: to start off with. I'd be getting paid because I
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  Speaker 4: was working in school at the same time, of course,
• 3:40
  Speaker 4: but it sort of went to their hands fast for
• 3:42
  Speaker 4: the betterment of the family. So I'm one of seven,
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  Speaker 4: oh wow, so there's a few of us sloking around.
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  Speaker 4: The responsibility sort of felt on me. My eldest brother
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  Speaker 4: just wasn't really in the picture at home. So yeah,
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  Speaker 4: I was always caring for my siblings. Made you feel
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  Speaker 4: really guilty if I didn't can over any money or
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  Speaker 4: anything like that, Like I was selfish for wanting to
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  Speaker 4: keep it for myself or we need it for this,
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  Speaker 4: or there's bills coming up, or there's a school camp,
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  Speaker 4: or there's this, And I felt like alledgeos, felt like
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  Speaker 4: I was the person that everyone leaned on, and so
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  Speaker 4: that sort of had carry on effects in itself. So
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  Speaker 4: from that, obviously having a really rough sort of childhood
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  Speaker 4: and growing up, we came from places where we had
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  Speaker 4: lots of money sometimes and then didn't. My parents are
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  Speaker 4: both addicts, both alcoholics, so really struggled with that side
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  Speaker 4: of things as well, and that sort of really exasperated
• 4:30
  Speaker 4: the ups and the downs. Wow a to be and
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  Speaker 4: much worse than what they were. So I moved out
• 4:34
  Speaker 4: of home at sixteen. I was still giving money to
• 4:36
  Speaker 4: my parents at this point in time. My first thing
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  Speaker 4: I did was get on sudden Link, and then that
• 4:40
  Speaker 4: was taken as well. I was getting more money, going
• 4:42
  Speaker 4: to school, just really doing my best, and then from
• 4:45
  Speaker 4: their working in hospitality, I managed to find my way
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  Speaker 4: into twenty three thousand dollars worth of debt.
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  Speaker 2: Which makes sense when all of your income's being taken
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  Speaker 2: off you.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, So I moved states a couple of times. I
• 4:55
  Speaker 4: moved from wa to Tasmania and then back again, and
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  Speaker 4: just sort of floated around. I didn't really have an
• 5:00
  Speaker 4: idea of what I wanted to do or anything like that.
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  Speaker 4: And in that time, my grandmother got really sick. So
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  Speaker 4: she was probably the only the stable person in my
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  Speaker 4: life for all of my life. She was very financially literal,
• 5:12
  Speaker 4: was always like, got to put extra money in your soup.
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  Speaker 4: I've got to do this. If I was in a
• 5:16
  Speaker 4: really bad situation where I needed money, she was the
• 5:18
  Speaker 4: first person to be like, you just come to me,
• 5:20
  Speaker 4: you talk to me, we can figure it out.
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  Speaker 2: I love that.
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  Speaker 4: She was a very special person. She went a lot
• 5:24
  Speaker 4: to me, and she didn't always just hand me solutions.
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  Speaker 4: She didn't always just give me money. It was always like,
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  Speaker 4: all right, cool, how do we get out of this,
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  Speaker 4: how do we avoid this in the future.
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  Speaker 2: Oh, she had your best interests at heart always. I
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  Speaker 2: love this. I love that you had that human in
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: your life.
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  Speaker 4: You really did.
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  Speaker 3: So.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah. She unfortunately passed away in twenty twenty. So that
• 5:41
  Speaker 4: was a really long battle with cancer.
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  Speaker 2: So have Oh I'm so sorry.
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  Speaker 4: It was coming for a really long time. And I
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  Speaker 4: think it was a lot harder to watch her be
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  Speaker 4: sick than it was to lose her, because seeing a
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  Speaker 4: lose who she was was far more impactful than Yeah.
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  Speaker 4: So I put just a house out of her estate.
• 6:01
  Speaker 4: She was quite financially literate, so her partner was left
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  Speaker 4: with everything, which was always the plan. According to others
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  Speaker 4: in the family. That was not the plan. That was
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  Speaker 4: not discust. So when I purchased the house, I was
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  Speaker 4: told that I was stealing everyone else's inheritance weddings, was
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  Speaker 4: frightened with lawyers, which I knew they didn't have the
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  Speaker 4: money to engage, which was sort of a bit of competent.
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  Speaker 2: You were kind of like, good luck you bye. Yeah.
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  Speaker 4: It was really stressful, especially with my grandmother being sick.
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  Speaker 4: I think that was sort of one of the bigger
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  Speaker 4: reasons that I didn't speak to my parents anymore, among
• 6:32
  Speaker 4: other reasons, just what was happening with the kids, just
• 6:35
  Speaker 4: not watching them being able to be parents, seeing them
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  Speaker 4: go through what I went through, was really difficult to
• 6:39
  Speaker 4: interact with them.
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, so that was a bit spicy. The year after
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  Speaker 4: my grandmother passed, I decided to start studying, so I'm
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  Speaker 4: a full time student at the moment. At the time
• 6:48
  Speaker 4: I was part time. I studied urban and regional planning
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  Speaker 4: and I also work full time now. So after my
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  Speaker 4: first year, I decided to be a bit ambitious and
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  Speaker 4: just go for graduate roles anyway, and was really lucky
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  Speaker 4: that someone hired me.
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  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I love this so much, get it.
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  Speaker 2: Thank you, Oh my gosh, I love that. Like if
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: you don't ask, you don't get right.
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  Speaker 4: So I've been there for a year now, and I've
• 7:11
  Speaker 4: probably got about eighteen months left to study it, but
• 7:13
  Speaker 4: nine minutes left. So I'm going to take those a
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  Speaker 4: little bit slower than I have been.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, fair, I mean you've already got the job, so
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: take it slow.
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  Speaker 4: My friend whine and they really loved me.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, good as they should.
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  Speaker 4: No, it's good. This year about me, things sort of
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  Speaker 4: started falling apart. So my sister foked me up one
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  Speaker 4: day and said that she needed me to come get her.
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  Speaker 4: She's quite sick. Convenient to go to the doctors and
• 7:35
  Speaker 4: stuff like that, generally bad uti. Yeah, and was just
• 7:38
  Speaker 4: had a lot of pain and was like, Mom said
• 7:40
  Speaker 4: that she might take me. There's always going to be
• 7:43
  Speaker 4: different aspects of things, three sides to a story. But oh,
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  Speaker 4: of course I know what I went through in that home, and.
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  Speaker 2: You can empathize with it and go, all right, I
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: see what your experience might have looked like.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, So went I picked her up, and she sort
• 7:56
  Speaker 4: of just unloaded on me. So she's herself been going
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  Speaker 4: through a really tough time. She has attending school for
• 8:00
  Speaker 4: the last two years. Just has been getting yourself into
• 8:04
  Speaker 4: a little bit of trouble. Boys and men and stuff.
• 8:06
  Speaker 4: Like that it's a little bit undesirable. I said, all right,
• 8:10
  Speaker 4: that's it. That's the end of it. You're coming to
• 8:11
  Speaker 4: stay with me. So I did that.
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: See, that's the stepping up we're talking about.
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  Speaker 4: Sometimes you just have to deal with Okay.
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: You had to do it, but also some people don't.
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: Can you please give yourself a little bit of credit?
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: You're the sister you needed, right.
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  Speaker 4: Yes, I had such a great support system growing up
• 8:28
  Speaker 4: with friends and my grandma, and I know things will
• 8:32
  Speaker 4: work out the way they're meant to work out. But
• 8:33
  Speaker 4: I had a lot of support, So why should I
• 8:35
  Speaker 4: not give that support to someone else.
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: I love that, But like, we're just going to work
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: on giving you a little bit more credit. This entire episode,
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: my love flack so much credit where credit is due.
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: All right, well let me talk to her too. Tell
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: me a little bit more about So your sister has
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: just moved in. When you say it's a I guess
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: shared care role, what does that actually look like for you?
• 8:57
  Speaker 4: So she's sixteen, so obviously she's still like to hang
• 9:00
  Speaker 4: out with her friends. Of course, so she was sort
• 9:03
  Speaker 4: of living between places when she came to me. Anyway,
• 9:06
  Speaker 4: I think being out of home has repaired her relationship
• 9:08
  Speaker 4: with my parents a little bit as well, so she
• 9:10
  Speaker 4: does go back home. She's also old enough, not that
• 9:13
  Speaker 4: she should be making your own decisions, but she's going
• 9:15
  Speaker 4: to anyway.
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: Yes, of course.
• 9:17
  Speaker 4: So there's really a lash of control that I have.
• 9:19
  Speaker 4: If I could wrap her up and bubble wrap and
• 9:21
  Speaker 4: keep us forever in my bedroom, I would.
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: You would, Yeah, absolutely.
• 9:26
  Speaker 4: At the moment, it looks mostly I'm saying like a
• 9:29
  Speaker 4: four days with me, three days elsewhere. Yeah, I've gotten
• 9:32
  Speaker 4: her enrolled in her school. She starts in a fortnight.
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, that's so exciting.
• 9:37
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so they're going to help her work towards their
• 9:39
  Speaker 4: general education stiff forget, just so we can look at
• 9:41
  Speaker 4: tastes and stuff like that. She's really interested in mechanics,
• 9:44
  Speaker 4: and it's just nice to see her have a new
• 9:45
  Speaker 4: lease on life.
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: Really, Oh my gosh, that is so wholesome. I mean,
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: I'm excited to learn more about your sister, but this episode,
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: my friend, is about you, so I need to pivot
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: back to you. But it makes me so happy that
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: she's back on track. So in your money story, you
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: obviously wrote in and said, look, I was financially abused
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: by my parents up until the age of nineteen. You
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: mentioned before, it's looked a lot like having your paychecks
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: taken off you and you know, not having the freedom
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: that you should have had, and you know, essentially not
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: being respected at all. But how did that come to be?
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: Is that kind of them going, we desperately need the
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: money and they don't realize they're doing that, or is
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: this a mindset that they're just in, well, you're my child,
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: If you made money, that's my money. Like, I'd love
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: to know a little bit more about not how it happened,
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: because it's not anybody's fault, but like how they seem
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: to justify their behavior.
• 10:40
  Speaker 4: Well, it's definitely a discussion I've had with them since
• 10:43
  Speaker 4: as well, because it didn't happen to my elder brother.
• 10:45
  Speaker 4: He was two years older than me, so he was
• 10:47
  Speaker 4: also working and he was also doing all these things,
• 10:50
  Speaker 4: and it seemed to fall a lot on me, which
• 10:52
  Speaker 4: I think was to do with me being in the house.
• 10:54
  Speaker 4: I think it came from a place of they were
• 10:57
  Speaker 4: so desperate for money that that was the option. And
• 10:59
  Speaker 4: then the time you ask is always going to be
• 11:01
  Speaker 4: the scariest, and then it gets easier after that. So
• 11:05
  Speaker 4: fifty dollars turned into one hundred, turned into two fifty,
• 11:07
  Speaker 4: turned into hundreds and thousands. I genuinely couldn't even count
• 11:11
  Speaker 4: how much was taken over the years, and it was
• 11:13
  Speaker 4: always we've got no food, we need this, We've got
• 11:16
  Speaker 4: a bill coming in, the power be cut off, the
• 11:18
  Speaker 4: water will be cut off. And there was points where
• 11:20
  Speaker 4: it was I had to shower at a friend's house,
• 11:22
  Speaker 4: and it was always that it was so necessary for
• 11:25
  Speaker 4: me to do this because if we didn't, bad things
• 11:28
  Speaker 4: would happen. They come from a place where they didn't
• 11:30
  Speaker 4: have a lot of money growing up either, so anytime
• 11:33
  Speaker 4: we got anything in it was spent immediately. I remember
• 11:36
  Speaker 4: when mum got a baby bonus one you and the
• 11:37
  Speaker 4: government brought out on thousand dollars to have a baby.
• 11:40
  Speaker 4: As soon as I hit her account, it was spent.
• 11:43
  Speaker 4: We went came out, we bought some bits, we bought
• 11:45
  Speaker 4: some stacks. I remember I bought some hair dye and
• 11:47
  Speaker 4: that was like a little tree, and it was just
• 11:49
  Speaker 4: as soon as it came in, it went, And whether
• 11:52
  Speaker 4: that was Bill's food or other, or if it was
• 11:54
  Speaker 4: on substances and alcohol, it was just completely gone.
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: I'm so sorry that you've been through that. But it's
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: always interesting how people justify that and how they look
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: back on it. Is this a conversation that you've now
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: had with your parents, Like are you in contact with
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: them now or have you just decided that that's not
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: for you.
• 12:13
  Speaker 4: I am now for the sake of my sister, only
• 12:16
  Speaker 4: because I have to be. I'm older now, so like
• 12:18
  Speaker 4: I'm twenty six, I've been out of the house for
• 12:20
  Speaker 4: ten years. Anytime we did converse, it was an argument,
• 12:23
  Speaker 4: and it was like yelling, screaming, pushing, like it got
• 12:27
  Speaker 4: really really aggravated really quickly, and a lot of that
• 12:31
  Speaker 4: didn't happen. A lot of ghosting me into no, we
• 12:33
  Speaker 4: didn't do that. It wasn't like that, you're interpreting rock,
• 12:36
  Speaker 4: you don't look at it this way. So a lot
• 12:39
  Speaker 4: of just telling me that that wasn't how it happened.
• 12:41
  Speaker 4: And I'm fine to sit there and say that, Hey,
• 12:43
  Speaker 4: your experience might have been different to mine. Yeah, but
• 12:46
  Speaker 4: you're not going to negate on my experience either.
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: Of course not. And at the end of the day,
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: as much as you were fifteen, you know, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen,
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: you're still a child. It's not a child's responsibility to
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: run the family home. It was the parent's responsibility to
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: step up and get a new role, or tackle their
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: substance abuses or you know, cut back on alcohol. Like
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: there were so many different factors at play that this
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: wasn't actually your problem to solve. And I think a
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: lot of the time, when you are fourteen, fifteen, sixteen,
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: you can be persuaded into this idea that well, you're
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: an adult now, like you can, you know, contribute to
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: the bills. And I do believe that there is a
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: healthy way to do that. Like, you know, I've spoken
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: to people on the show before who live with a
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: single mum and they're like, no, no, no, I've been
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: contributing to bills since I had an income because I
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: just really wanted to support mum and it was my idea.
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: And you know, it's a beautiful conversation, but that's not
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: the conversation we're having here. And I think that sometimes
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: in situations like this, the parents I guess persuade themselves
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: into going. But that's what was happening, right, Like they
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: just wanted to contribute to the household, and it's like, well,
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: I'm a child, and I should still have the ability
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: to grow up and you know, at the end of
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: the day, make some decisions on my own, learn my
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: own money story, not have it taken away. So it
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: honestly breaks my heart that you were in that position.
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: But this idea that you completely clawed your way out
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: of twenty three thousand dollars worth of debt. Okay, so
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: you got into debt, it makes absolute sense how you
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: got there. I cannot empathize more. How did you get
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: out of twenty three thousand dollars debt?
• 14:19
  Speaker 4: So basically you're eighteen and then combain and sends you
• 14:22
  Speaker 4: a letter in Mexi saying you go, you're eligible for
• 14:24
  Speaker 4: a credit card, and so I took out one, and
• 14:26
  Speaker 4: then I took out two, and then it was a
• 14:28
  Speaker 4: person alone to cover that debt. I was traveling at
• 14:31
  Speaker 4: the time, so I'd moved sort of states as flying
• 14:33
  Speaker 4: around and seeing friends. Travel was definitely something I value.
• 14:36
  Speaker 4: Couldn't tell you what I spent the money on now,
• 14:38
  Speaker 4: but that's a different story.
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: I'm not asking that. That doesn't matter.
• 14:43
  Speaker 4: So it became a bit of a game, and it
• 14:44
  Speaker 4: was like, all right, so the repayments of this, so
• 14:46
  Speaker 4: remember getting calls in the middle of the week work
• 14:48
  Speaker 4: and I'd be like, you have a major minimum repayment
• 14:50
  Speaker 4: for this amount of time. I think I just hit
• 14:52
  Speaker 4: a point where I was like, no, I'm not doing
• 14:54
  Speaker 4: this anymore. So started hitting my minimum repayments and I
• 14:56
  Speaker 4: was like, oh, I can actually pay more than this.
• 14:58
  Speaker 4: I'm putting money into savings. I can pay fifty dollars
• 15:00
  Speaker 4: my one hundred. And I think towards the end of
• 15:03
  Speaker 4: paying off the debt, I was paying off nine hundred
• 15:05
  Speaker 4: dollars a week.
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, no you weren't. Yeah, that's so much money.
• 15:11
  Speaker 4: It was just really fun to see that number drop,
• 15:13
  Speaker 4: to not have anyone ring me, and it has control
• 15:15
  Speaker 4: over the situation.
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: Again, it's snowballs, right Like, once you're close to the
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: end of a debt repayment journey, you just end up
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: throwing so much at it because you're like, go way,
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: go ay, Like it just feels like it's so much
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: more impactful, right Like, It's crazy how much gratification you
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: get out of that.
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 15:31
  Speaker 4: I think that's probably my biggest accomplishment is getting out
• 15:34
  Speaker 4: of that because it wasn't easy and it was something
• 15:37
  Speaker 4: that I really had to learn for myself.
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: Oh, I love it so much. All right, let's get
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: back on track with the questions, because I like to
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: go rogue, but we can't be too rogue. Tell me now,
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: you said that you're working full time. What do you
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: do for work and how much money do you win?
• 15:50
  Speaker 4: So I am a graduate planning office, so I work
• 15:53
  Speaker 4: in urban and regional planning space in a local government
• 15:56
  Speaker 4: so making decisions on development in the area. I gotta
• 15:59
  Speaker 4: pay rize this week. Actually, so I'm on a sixty
• 16:01
  Speaker 4: five thousand, eight hundred and seventy two dollars. I'm super
• 16:04
  Speaker 4: on top of that as well.
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, super on top of that. I love
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: how specific you are too. Most people would say, oh,
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: I'm on sixty five or I'm on sixty six, but
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: you're like, no, I'm on sixty five thousand, eight hundred
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: and seventy five dollars, and then I also get super contributions.
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: I'm probably gonna argue with you at the end of
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: this episode about that C plus you gave yourself before,
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: because no one's that financially literally, you know, like, I
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: don't feel like you don't give yourself enough credit. That
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: is so exciting. You mentioned before that you got out
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: of debt. Tell me about what your current big money
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: goals are, Like, what are you currently working towards.
• 16:36
  Speaker 4: I had this really grand idea that I wanted to
• 16:38
  Speaker 4: own four houses for four thirty.
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: Oh big dog. I like that.
• 16:42
  Speaker 4: We love thick goals. I think if anything, I've lined
• 16:45
  Speaker 4: over the years, so I can literally do anything. I've
• 16:47
  Speaker 4: just got to actually work at it. So yeah, I
• 16:49
  Speaker 4: would really love to have four houses before thirty and
• 16:52
  Speaker 4: be an ethical landlord, so be able to give the
• 16:54
  Speaker 4: option to people like single mothers and stuff like that,
• 16:56
  Speaker 4: and have a choice if there's applications in front of
• 16:58
  Speaker 4: me where I can see that someone is struggle or
• 17:00
  Speaker 4: might not be looked at favorably, and I can say
• 17:02
  Speaker 4: yes to that.
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: I love that. See at the start, you know, I
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: was like, you're such a special human being and you're like, no,
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: I'm not, all right, Well just keep digging your hole.
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: That's fine money, Diaris. Let's go to a really quick
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: break and on the flip side, and when I ask
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: you about your investments, your debts, what this plan to
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: actually get into four investment properties before you're thirty looks like?
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: And your best and worst money habits, so guys don't
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: go anywhere. All right, we are back money diarist. I
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: am so excited to learn a little bit more about
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: you and your journey, but I actually want to start
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: with investments. Do you have any investments? If so, what
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: are they? If not, what's the plan?
• 17:46
  Speaker 4: So obviously I've mentioned I'd like to invest in houses
• 17:49
  Speaker 4: and stuff like that. At the moment, I don't have
• 17:51
  Speaker 4: any additional investments. Outs all don't have spaceship. I have
• 17:54
  Speaker 4: my Super, so Super at the moment is sitting in
• 17:57
  Speaker 4: around forty two grand. So we've worked. They do eleven
• 18:01
  Speaker 4: percent to start off with, I contribute six and then
• 18:03
  Speaker 4: they match me with that six as well, So I
• 18:06
  Speaker 4: think that puts me up at twenty three percent at
• 18:09
  Speaker 4: the moment, which is really cool and really exciting because
• 18:11
  Speaker 4: of recently seeing that grow. At the moment, I'm.
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: Sorry just reminding everybody that you said you're a C plus,
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: yet you're here with such clarity on what you earn
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: and you're contributing twenty three percent to Souper. But okay,
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: I'll just go back to my hole, no worries.
• 18:26
  Speaker 4: And then I also have one thousand dollars in spaceship.
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: Oh so you do have some investments? You said, I
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: don't have anything else, and then you're like, I have
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: one thousand dollars in spaceship and I also have a
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: plan to buy four houses before I'm thirty. That's an
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: investment plan, my friend. That's exactly what you've got there.
• 18:42
  Speaker 4: It feels really small at the moment. It's like savings.
• 18:44
  Speaker 4: You don't what I mean, It's like baby savings.
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry, are you here on literally the She's on
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: the Money Show comparing your journey to that of others
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: after I've told you, literally for the past nearly five
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: years not to do that wild but okay, ah, I
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: just want to sit you down and be like, do
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: you know how you are?
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: Like?
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: Do you know how great this is? Like there are
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: honestly going to be people listening to this and being like, wow,
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: look at the journey she's been on. You know, she
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: got out of this circumstance at age nineteen. She was
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: in a mass amount of debt. Now you're getting your
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: life back together, you're working and studying and honestly slaying it,
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: and you're here going, oh, it's not very good in
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: comparison to other people, Yet at such a young age,
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: you are contributing twenty three percent to SUPER. Like this
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: to me is just wild, Like it's so inspiring, it's
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: so beautiful. But my favorite part about this is you're
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: not going to become your parents because you have such
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: clarity on what your future looks like. And I think
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: that that is like the best thing out of this
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: whole journey, Like you can quite clearly articulate why you
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: don't want to be them, and you haven't said that,
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: but it's quite clear that you're crafting this journey that
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: wasn't shown to you. You're crafting your own journey and
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: putting yourself in this position, and you've done it yourself. Like,
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: do you know how many people are in the same
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: position as you because of privilege, because they've actually been
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: sped all of this information, they've been told to, you know,
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: contribute more to SUPER by their parents. They've been given
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: a leg up, they've been given all these opportunities, and
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: they've maybe dragged their feet for a few years because
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: union life is fun and why not bother failing a
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: few times, And there's no judgment on that. But I
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: don't think you're giving yourself nearly enough credit.
• 20:18
  Speaker 4: No, thank you.
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: You are out of debt. But I do want to
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: ask do you have any debts? If so, what are they?
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: If not, what's the plan to stay out of debt
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: except for like mortgages and stuff moving forward?
• 20:30
  Speaker 4: So I have one mortgage at the moment, which is
• 20:32
  Speaker 4: my primary residence. So I owe two hundred and fifty
• 20:35
  Speaker 4: five thousand dollars on the house. Estimates from the bank
• 20:38
  Speaker 4: put it at about three fifty. Real estate markets put
• 20:40
  Speaker 4: it about five twenty. Oh very nice, not too sure that.
• 20:45
  Speaker 4: And then I have my hextet as well, So my
• 20:46
  Speaker 4: hex day is currently fourteen thousand dollars. I'm in my
• 20:49
  Speaker 4: second year. I've got nine minutes left, so probably going
• 20:52
  Speaker 4: to go up a little bit, but don't expect it
• 20:54
  Speaker 4: to go more than thirty.
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: I love that. Now, tell me a bit more about
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: this plan to own four houses before the age of thirty.
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: So you're one down, which I mean that's literally twenty
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: five percent towards this goal. So that's amazing. But what's
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: the plan for the next house? Is this something that
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: you're looking at in the near future, Like, how are
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: you planning on purchasing this house and getting the next
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: step some sort.
• 21:16
  Speaker 4: Of halfway between. At the moment, obviously my mortgage is
• 21:18
  Speaker 4: quite low, my borrowing capacity isn't quite mixed out at
• 21:21
  Speaker 4: the moment, so obviously need to start earning more money
• 21:24
  Speaker 4: to have a higher borrowing capacity, and when light to
• 21:26
  Speaker 4: is get putty from my house. That I have focus
• 21:29
  Speaker 4: at the moment is just paying down as much of
• 21:31
  Speaker 4: the mortgage as I can, so smashing that out, so
• 21:33
  Speaker 4: I've got a little bit more wiggle room with what
• 21:35
  Speaker 4: i could do next. I also have a partner, so
• 21:38
  Speaker 4: we've been together before two and a half years now,
• 21:40
  Speaker 4: which definitely considered buying, and it's something that is looking
• 21:43
  Speaker 4: at doing independently of me. So it's just sort of
• 21:45
  Speaker 4: the way that timing wakes out with my sister with
• 21:48
  Speaker 4: the house and with him buying on how we sort
• 21:50
  Speaker 4: of do things that approach things in the future. So
• 21:53
  Speaker 4: don't really have a solid man in pace, but have
• 21:55
  Speaker 4: got a few different options that I'm just happy to
• 21:58
  Speaker 4: explore and see how things work out.
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: No, I really like that. I think it's solid, but
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: it's also really reasonable given the position you're in, it
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: makes a lot of sense. Money Diarist, you got out
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: of twenty three thousand dollars worth of debt. I feel
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: like you might have a few cheeky good money habits,
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: my friend, what are your best money habits do you think?
• 22:16
  Speaker 4: I think, as mentioned before, my best money habit is
• 22:19
  Speaker 4: just saying, debt and bills is a game to pay.
• 22:21
  Speaker 4: So I'm ahead on all of my bills at the moment.
• 22:23
  Speaker 4: What are electricity, gas, all of it? I like just
• 22:26
  Speaker 4: putting that little bit extra. So if the bill comes
• 22:27
  Speaker 4: in it two seventy, you're like, all right, let's do
• 22:29
  Speaker 4: three fifty and let's just stop that and keep on going.
• 22:32
  Speaker 4: So paying forward and sort of buying myself a little
• 22:35
  Speaker 4: bit of security in future. And it's definitely how I
• 22:37
  Speaker 4: treat debt as well. So it's nice seeing the numbers
• 22:39
  Speaker 4: go down and are so yeah, just have a little
• 22:42
  Speaker 4: bit of fun with it.
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: I don't think i've heard it on a money diary before,
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: of seeing your debt and bills as a game, like
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: that's actually very cool and definitely a mindset I can
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: subscribe to. I think that that makes a lot of sense.
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: You can gamify it. I'm in debt and bills are
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: not sexy. You tell me it's a game. I want
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: to play, like, can we play? How do I do it? Like,
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: I'm in no, but that's great. I love that mindsett's
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: bring the mood down though we always do this every
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: single episode. I breiled you up and then I'm like, babe,
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: what are your worst money habits? Share with the team.
• 23:14
  Speaker 4: I am impulsive, like really really impulsive. So if I
• 23:18
  Speaker 4: see something and I'm like, oh, you deserve a little treaty, ty,
• 23:21
  Speaker 4: you best believe I'm buying myself a little treat and
• 23:23
  Speaker 4: it could be anything from you deserve it a little
• 23:26
  Speaker 4: outfit for my cat to really extensive hall at Mecca.
• 23:29
  Speaker 4: I'm ready, sign me up.
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry you just said two of my favorite things
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: cat outfits and hauls at Mecca. Like, I'm sorry. You
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: were meant to give me bad things, things that weren't attractive.
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: What you've given me is inspiration. Yeah yeah, So you're
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: telling me that I can see my debt and bills
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: as a game? Can I see cat outfits as a game?
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: Is that an option?
• 23:50
  Speaker 4: Only if you're like collecting them all that? You know
• 23:52
  Speaker 4: we need one for every holiday season. He hates a
• 23:54
  Speaker 4: little worth, but I love them. He looks so cute.
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: Side note, my cat Bailey has a pumpkin hat and
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: it's my favorite thing in the entire world. It's like
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: a tiny pumpkin hat that you put on top of
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: his head and it has a little elastic that goes
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: in front of his ears. And the best part about
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: it is he doesn't try to shake it off. He
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: just looks at you like, is this what I'm meant
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: to do with my life now, mum? And you're like, yes,
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: little pumpkin boy, Like this is a treat for two
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: people too. It's for me and my cat, Like I'm
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: sharing my money. That's very kind of me, which is
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: money Diarist. It has come almost to the end of
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: the episode, and my last question is always, now that
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: we've talked, do you think that the grade of C
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: plus is actually reflective of where you are? But before
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: I ask you that, I kind of want to go
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: through what we've learnt from you. I mean, you wrote
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: in this beautiful money diary about you know, how your
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: money story started off really grim and you you know,
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: went through this financially abusive relationship with your parents. You
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: were in significant amounts of debt, but you're now in
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: this position where you work a grad planning officer because
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: you hustled your way into that job, like not even
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: because you've graduated, because you were like, I'm just going
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: to apply. I'm probably gonna, you know, do well at this,
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: and everybody else agreed. You've just got to pay rise.
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: You contribute twenty three percent to super You literally said,
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: and I wrote it down because I loved it so much.
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: You said, I can do anything, I just have to
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: work at it, and it made me go, yes, you can.
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: I adore that so much. You have these really clear
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: goals of going, all right, V, I really want to
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: own four houses by the time I'm thirty. I'm twenty
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: five percent there, Like, here's the plan. You know, I
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: haven't got rocks in my head. This is how I'm
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: going to achieve it. You're talking about, you know, using
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: your borrowing capacity to buy more and understanding fully that
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: you need more of a borrowing capacity to get there.
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: You also want to talk about using the equity in
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: your current property. You talked about how we gammifying bills
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: and debt, and also the stuff that I was talking
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: about at the start, how you're a really special human
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: for taking on a shared care role of your sixteen
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: year old sister, Now, could you tell me if that
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: sounds like the money habits of somebody who is a
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: C plus. Well, when you put it like that, I
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: just told you what you told me aback, But like
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: I haven't changed the words, I haven't changed the story.
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: I can, but I don't think it's even worth it,
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: because like, what would you grade that person's money habits?
• 26:20
  Speaker 4: Look, I think we're very quick to downplay what we do.
• 26:23
  Speaker 4: And when you lay it all down like that, I
• 26:25
  Speaker 4: think I'm doing very well for myself. I'm very proud
• 26:28
  Speaker 4: of myself. And it's moments like this which actually make
• 26:31
  Speaker 4: you sit and take a breath and be like, wow,
• 26:33
  Speaker 4: I have a commission so much in such a short
• 26:37
  Speaker 4: period of time. I sort of went into it thinking,
• 26:39
  Speaker 4: I don't know, maybe i'd feel like a baby. I
• 26:42
  Speaker 4: genuinely feel like I'm an a at the moment you.
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: Are, you are an a Exactly when you said C plus,
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: I was like, Okay, let's learn more about that. Had
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: heard like a tiny bit of your story. The more
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: I learned, I think that we had listeners and you
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: know who was listening to this going like Victoria's right,
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: C plus And if you listen to money diaries. There
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: are times where I'm like, no, I'm not going to
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: argue with the money direst Like if they say that
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: they feel like that's where they're at, I'm not going
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: to argue with them, because I think mindset is really important.
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: But you can't tell me the story that you just
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: told me and then expect me to swallow a C
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: plus my love, Like, that's just I'm so sorry. It's
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: just not going to happen. But you are correct. I
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: think you are absolutely a A. I was going to
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: give you an A plus, but we can sett a
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: lot on an A because I think there's always always
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: always room for improvement even if we say that we're
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: an A plus. But holy moly, I'm so proud of
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: you and the journey that you have been on. I'm
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: going to gift you actually our budgeting cash flow masterclass
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: because I know you said you're a little bit impulsive.
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: I'm also a little bit impulsive, and I created that
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: plan to kind of hopefully cap my impulsiveness. We can
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: put the cat outfits into the budget. We are still
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: trying to live our lives. We are definitely making sure
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: that those things are included. Because you're right, we all
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: do deserve a treaty treat but I genuinely think that
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: that might help you feel a little bit more empowered
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: and feel like you're taking control of that journey of yours,
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: because often when it comes to things like this, where
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: you're like, look, I've got a plan, but like getting
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: it down on paper or getting it into a system
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: can make you go, wow, I am actually killing it
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: at this and you give yourself even more credits. So
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: I'm going to give that to you so that you
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: can do that, hopefully when you have a little bit
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: of free time, which I don't think you have between
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: looking after your sister, studying and working. But like you know,
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: it's aspirational from me.
• 28:28
  Speaker 4: Thank you so much Onneslie.
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: But unfortunately, my friend, I think that is all we
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: have time for today. So thank you for being so open,
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: thank you for sharing your story, and thank you for
• 28:37
  Speaker 2: being you. As I said at the start, you are
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: a special human being and I don't want you to
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: forget that, and I want you to give yourself more credit.
• 28:43
  Speaker 4: Thank you so much for having me.
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: Of course, the advice shared on She's on the Money
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances.
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: She's on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: should not be relied upon to make an investment or
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product,
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: read the PDS TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: towards your needs. Victoria Divine and She's on the Money
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: are authorized representatives of money Sherper Pty Ltd. A BN
• 29:20
  Speaker 2: three two one IS six four nine two seven seven
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: zero eight AFSL four five one two eight nine