Latest / The Art of Love With Lucia / Episode 662: Yes, You WILL Hear From Your Ex. Here's WHY!

Transcript

Episode 662: Yes, You WILL Hear From Your Ex. Here's WHY! · The Art of Love With Lucia

• 0:01
  One of the top three questions that someone who's been dumped
• 0:04
  and wants their ex back always asks is whether they will hear
• 0:08
  from their ex. And most people think very
• 0:12
  negatively after a breakup and assume that they will never hear
• 0:16
  from their ex. But they would be wrong, and I'm
• 0:19
  going to tell you why. The chances are very good that
• 0:23
  you will hear from your ex. But first, welcome back my
• 0:28
  beautiful no contact army. This is Lucia with the art of
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  love. Have you been a good little
• 0:33
  soldier? Well, if you have, then you've
• 0:36
  been using my Epcilencio to help you to stay in no contact.
• 0:40
  And the link to that is underneath every single video
• 0:43
  and podcast. And if you too would like to
• 0:45
  join our no contact Army, all you have to do is hit the
• 0:48
  subscribe button and the bell notification and you're in.
• 0:52
  And to read our manual, go to nocontactsecrets.com, where you
• 0:57
  can read two free chapters before you purchase the book.
• 1:00
  And the link to that is also underneath every video and
• 1:04
  podcast. OK, so if you haven't heard from
• 1:08
  your ex yet, you probably think you never will.
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  And I always tell my clients that they need to have faith
• 1:16
  when they're going through no contact.
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  And then I realized, you know what, They actually already do
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  have faith. The problem is that they have
• 1:24
  faith in a negative outcome rather than a positive outcome.
• 1:30
  So why not turn that around? You're going to be thinking
• 1:33
  anyway. Or should I say obsessing
• 1:36
  anyway. Yes, I know you.
• 1:40
  So why not obsess on a positive outcome rather than a -1
• 1:46
  Positive thoughts feel a lot better anyway.
• 1:48
  So what you have to do is pivot as Abraham Hicks calls it.
• 1:54
  So when you start to spiral and think, Oh my God, I'm never
• 1:57
  going to hear from him again. I'm never going to hear from her
• 2:00
  again, stop right there, pivot. Turn that around and say yes, I
• 2:07
  am going to hear from him. Yes, I am going to hear from
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  her. And you know what, you would
• 2:13
  probably be right because 90% of people who have been broken up
• 2:19
  with or had to break up with someone because the other person
• 2:23
  cheated or took them for granted will hear from their ex.
• 2:27
  I cannot think of anyone who I have coached who has not heard
• 2:31
  from their ex at some point. And in fact, I have an e-mail
• 2:36
  today what are the chances from one of my clients who went
• 2:40
  through a horrible breakup and the ex still popped up as I knew
• 2:47
  she would. So let me read it to you.
• 2:51
  So he says, I wanted to give you an update on my situation, which
• 2:55
  frankly, I have totally moved on from.
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  And he says I, I was date, I was engaged to someone who had a
• 3:04
  fairly high level of narcissistic personality
• 3:07
  disorder and had been divorced four times prior to me.
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  And I'm sure I told them during the call that hello, red flag,
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  red flag, married four times. Come on, come on.
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  Like that's never mind a red flag, that's a Black Flag.
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  Like, stay away. Just stay away.
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  There's just no way. Come on.
• 3:35
  And in fact, he said my ex simply moved out and was never
• 3:41
  to be heard from again. Yeah, He was out of town.
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  They were living together. She moved all her stuff out.
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  He came back and she was gone. Like.
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  And he goes to say no breakup, no closure, Just poof, vanished.
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  Yeah, basically, Ghost did. Imagine you're engaged, someone,
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  you're living with them, and they ghost you, they just
• 4:01
  disappear. And then a few weeks later, she
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  contacted him about some furniture she had there and she
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  said she was going to pick them up.
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  And then she never did. And then Fast forward 7 1/2
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  months to last night. So for those of you who go, Oh
• 4:21
  my God, it's been 2 weeks. I haven't heard from my ex.
• 4:23
  It's been two months, OK 7 1/2 months for this guy after she
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  called about her furniture. So he says.
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  I was sitting on the couch resting before I go to the gym.
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  I just was watching TV. The doorbell rang.
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  Thinking it was simply the delivery of a package I
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  continued to watch the show. 2 minutes later the doorbell rang
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  again. So I look up the peephole.
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  I couldn't see anyone open the door.
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  Wearing some nice dress shorts, no shirts, no shirt.
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  I've lost weight, I've been working out so I look good and I
• 5:00
  was Outback working on on my tan earlier in the evening.
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  Nice, perfect. Couldn't have staged this better
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  myself. To my surprise there was no
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  package. It was my ex standing there.
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  My jaw must have hit the floor. I've totally moved on and
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  randomly dating and searching for my person with no thoughts
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  of my ex whatsoever. I'm healed and I simply don't
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  need her narcissistic shenanigans.
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  I stood there and she said I accidentally had some groceries
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  delivered here. And I replied, well, no
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  groceries have been delivered here.
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  She attempted a sweet smile and said, oh, I already put them in
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  the car. Really.
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  Really. This is me saying, really?
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  Knowing me, I would have said, Oh yeah, let me see.
• 5:47
  Yeah, sure. You had groceries delivered by
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  mistake after 7 1/2 months. OK, your nose is growing a bit
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  larger. So I don't say anything, he
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  continues. And I'm waiting for her to say
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  something significant. I mean, it took a lot of courage
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  for a narcissist with an avoidant attachments to have to
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  show up at my door after the disappearing act she pulled.
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  She was smiling and not saying anything.
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  So I offered her the furniture that she had contacted him about
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  earlier and she said, oh, you still have them?
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  Oh, I'll text you in a few days and arrange for a pickup.
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  I nodded and shut the door. She pretty much ran to her car,
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  got in and speed away. Crazy part to me is that after
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  having the courage to show up the way she did, she had nothing
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  significant to say. Yeah, because she thought you
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  were going to be there welcoming her with open arms.
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  Like, Oh my God, what a surprise.
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  How are you? Come in, let's have a drink.
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  Tell me what's new. Yeah, no, I'm sorry.
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  No, I effed up. Hey, can I take you for coffee
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  or lunch? I really like the opportunity to
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  talk. Nope.
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  Nothing. To be honest, I feel like I
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  want. And this proved it.
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  Thank you for your help. And as usual, you were correct
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  about everything that would happen in my situation because
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  of your coaching. I was so prepared, so well
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  prepared for this day. And I handled it well.
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  I was unemotional. I was polite, gave her a moment
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  to say something, offered her the opportunity to pick up her
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  appliances and close the door. Yes, literally and figuratively.
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  And by the way, if you're finding this helpful, if you
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  could please give this video a like in order to help the
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  YouTube algorithm to suggest it to more people so we can help
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  more people to find out that yes, they probably will hear
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  from their ex. OK, so even though he didn't
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  want his ex back, I hope that this will at least give you some
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  peace and some hope. If you're still of the mindset
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  that you're not going to hear from your ex.
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  As I said, 90% of you will hear from your ex, but that's only
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  the beginning. That's only the first step
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  because obviously you can't get back together if you don't hear
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  from them. But after that, they need to
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  continue to reach out and want to get back together.
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  But I know you'll feel at least a little bit better if you hear
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  from your ex at least once. And you probably will.
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  But if for some reason you're in that 10% of people who do not
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  hear from their ex ever, just know that they were 100% done.
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  They were done. Done.
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  They felt that there was someone better out there for them.
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  And you know what? If there's someone better out
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  there for them, that means that there's someone better out there
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  for you too. So when you're ready, pick
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  yourself up, move forward with your life and be open to meeting
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  the one who is better for you. OK, so now I want to hear from
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  you. Have you heard from your ex
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  after the breakup? Yes or no?
• 9:00
  Let us know below. And in the meantime, if you
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  would like my help to get your ex back or maybe even to move on
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  like this guy, you can contact me at theartoflove.net and we
• 9:11
  will send you the rates. And the direct link to that is
• 9:14
  underneath every video and podcast.
• 9:16
  If you found this video helpful, please like, subscribe, and
• 9:19
  share. If you're listening to this as a
• 9:21
  podcast, please rate and review. And finally, remember that love
• 9:25
  inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.