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S2 E6 When the Mural Started Dancing · Get It Got It Girl: Midlife Rebuild

• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: Hey guys, last time we talked about rebuilding our lives in a perfectly planned way.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: And you know what?
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: There are bumps in the road.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: And today I thought I would do something a little bit different.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of telling you what I've learned, I'm going to tell you about one of those nights in my life when I definitely did not have everything figured out.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't even know if this is one of those stories where you laugh first and then realize later, wait a minute, that was actually kind of scary.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's exactly what happened to me.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: So I was out one night with an old friend, and we were at a club and we were having a good time.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: We were listening and dancing to music, just hanging out, and I took a little bit of what I thought was marijuana.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: I wasn't trying to get completely messed up.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: I thought I knew what I was taking, and I thought I was just going to be fine.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: And at first everything was normal.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm listening to the music and I'm looking around, I'm having a good time, and then I notice this painting, or it was like a mural on the wall.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: And there was a guy dancing, and he had a mask on.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I started getting closer to it.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm looking at this thing, I'm thinking, wait a minute, is that guy moving?
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: Because this painting was dancing.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: Now I'm looking at this mirror like, okay, either this is the most amazing artwork I have ever seen, or something is happening to me.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: And then the music started sounding different.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: Not bad, just a little bit different.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like I was hearing it in a completely different way.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: And then I started thinking, okay, something is definitely happening here.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: And here's the one thing: I had only had two drinks, two, and I felt drunk.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: Not, oh, I had a couple drinks and I'm feeling kind of good.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: I felt drunk.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: D-R-U-N-K, like drunk.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: And that's when I started thinking, what exactly did I just take?
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: Because whatever I thought it was, I wasn't so sure anymore.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: Now eventually I left and started heading home.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: This is where I want to make something really clear.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not telling this story because I think driving after drinking or taking something is okay.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: It isn't.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: I actually started feeling really tired when I was while I was driving, and I knew something was right.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: So I pulled my car over into an open parking light lot on the side of the street.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember thinking, I'm not going to drive when I feel like this.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, that was probably the best decision that I made that whole night.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: And after sitting for a while, I don't know, maybe a couple hours, I was sitting back in traffic and I looked in my rear rear mirror.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: And everything looked like it was in reverse in the mirror.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like the cars were going in reverse, people were walking in reverse, and I'm sitting there thinking, why does everything look backwards?
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: And that's when I knew, oh, something is not right.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: At this point, I wasn't trying to figure it out.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: I wasn't even trying to convince myself that I was okay.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: I wasn't trying to say, well, I've only had two drinks.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: I knew something was wrong.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: So I pulled over again.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: I still don't even know exactly what happened that night.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: I thought I knew what I had taken, but obviously I didn't know for sure.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: And looking back now, I think that's one of the things that really sticks with me.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: We can think that we know what's happening.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: We can think that we have a situation under control.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: We can even convince ourselves, hey, I'm fine.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: I'm fine.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: I only had, I'm I'm fine, nothing's wrong.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: But sometimes you get that little moment where something inside you says, no, pay attention.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: And you have a choice.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: You can ignore it because you don't want to admit something is wrong, which is was my first instinct, like, no, I'm fine.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: I there should be no reason why I can't drive.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: Or you can listen.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: And that night I listened.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know exactly what was happening to me, and I didn't even have all the answers.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: But I knew enough to know that I wasn't okay to keep driving.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's something that applies to so many parts of life.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: You don't even, you, you know, you don't always have to understand everything before you make a good decision.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes you just have to recognize that something isn't working and stop.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: And you know what?
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: That's not weakness, that's awareness.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's easy to condemn yourself, but no, that wasn't a weakness.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: That was awareness.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes the smartest thing you can do is say, I don't know what's going on right now, but I am not going to make this worse.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, I think that's something I've learned more and more as I've gotten older.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have to pretend I know everything.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: I don't even have to have every answer.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I definitely don't have to make the perfect decision every single time.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: What I do need is I just need to pay attention and learn from what happens and keep more moving forward with what I know.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: Because let's be honest, I've made some questionable decisions in my life.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: But hopefully, I've learned something from every single one of them.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: And that night, the lesson wasn't just the dancing mural.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: Although, let's be honest, the dancing mural was a lot.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: I can still see it.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: It looks so real.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: The lesson was that sometimes you have to listen to yourself.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes your body or your mind is telling you something before your brain has completely figured it out.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: You know what else?
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes being grown isn't about knowing everything.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's knowing when you don't know what's happening.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: And then making the safe choice.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: I could have tried to convince myself that it was fine.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, I listened to that little voice.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: That little voice that said and said, You don't want to drive.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: Something isn't right.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: And then I stopped.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: And that's my crazy story for today.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I I, you know, I want you to know have you ever had one of those moments where you thought, okay, something is definitely not right here.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: Because sometimes those are the stories that we laugh about later.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: But you know what?
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: They're also the stories that teach us something.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe that's what Get It Got It Girl is really about.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: Not pretending we've always made perfect decisions, not pretending we've got everything figured out.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: It's about being honest about the things we've lived through and the things that we've learned and what we're doing with that knowledge now.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: Because I'm not a finished product.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: None of us are.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: But I don't think that means we need to throw everything away and become somebody completely different.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we just take what we've learned, keep the parts that still serve us, and let go of what doesn't, and build from there.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: You know what?
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, I am still figuring out some things.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm also a woman who knows when the mural starts dancing, it's time to go home.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: I will see you next time, girl.