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Strategies for a Healthy Digital Lifestyle · Talking FACS

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  Welcome to Talking FACS, what you need to know about family,
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  food, finance, and fitness.
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  This nationally recognized, award-winning podcast is hosted by the University
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  of Kentucky Family and Consumer Sciences Extension Program.
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  Our educators share research knowledge with individuals, families,
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  and communities to improve quality of life.
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  Hello, and welcome to Talking FACS, what you need to know about family,
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  food, finance, and fitness. I am your host, Mindy McCulley, Extension Specialist
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  for Instructional Support with Family and Consumer Sciences Extension at the
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  University of Kentucky.
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  We are housed in the Martin Gatton College of Agriculture, Food, and Environment.
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  Sometimes we might find that we spend a whole lot more time on our digital devices
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  than perhaps we should or is maybe healthy for us. So today, Dr.
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  David Wiesenhorn, who is our Extension Specialist for Parenting and Child Development,
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  is going to share with us some strategies for managing or determining our digital awareness.
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  Welcome, David. Thank you.
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  Thank you. So, let's just start at the base level. What in the world is digital awareness?
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  You know, I think it's just that. I mean, it's funny because I laugh.
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  Sometimes my kids ask me those things and it's like, well, it's in the title, right?
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  The answer is in the question. It is, how aware am I about my digital intake or my screen use?
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  You know, I hear from parents all the time about the concerns they have for
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  their children and their children's use of their phones.
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  And what's so funny is that my question oftentimes to them after explaining
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  to me their great concerns about their children is oftentimes,
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  well, how much do you use your phone?
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  And nine out of 10 times, Mindy, I hear, I'm on it more than I should be.
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  Yes. And research has indicated just that, right?
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  There's a lot of research out there that's looking at screen use and media use
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  and what they find hands down is that we are spending,
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  adults and children are spending more unhealthy amounts of time on screens and
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  media devices than ever before.
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  Now, part of that is because we have more of those devices than ever before as well.
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  But the point is, is that we are all self-admitting, hey, I'm on this more than I want to be.
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  So I think the point is in this, Mindy, is that we do need some,
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  how do we determine if we're on there too much?
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  If we know that we feel in ourselves or we feel guilty or ashamed at the end
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  of the day that I've spent too much time, then how do we do that?
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  How do we check ourselves? ourselves.
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  And I was just going to ask or say maybe when people say they're on it too much,
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  maybe they recognize that they're on it an awful lot, but they have no clue
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  how much they're actually on it.
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  And that's probably a concern, right? Yeah, absolutely.
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  And I think oftentimes, like a lot of the other indicators of overuse,
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  if you've ever had indulged too much in certain activities, you might feel bad
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  in the morning, If we have too much alcohol, we feel the effects of that in
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  the morning and we feel bad.
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  I think social media can be that way, is that when we find ourselves indulging
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  too much, we feel bad about it because we know at some level of awareness,
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  and maybe it's not always conscious,
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  that, hey, I should have been or could have been spending time that I wasn't
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  spending on other things.
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  And so that, I think, is where it leads. And so what I want to share is something
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  that I pulled that I found extremely helpful from Boston Children's Hospital.
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  So they've got a neat site if people that are listening to this ever want to
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  peruse and find out what is some of the research, because there's a lot of it
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  that's going on with digital wellness.
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  And it's called the Digital Wellness Lab, and it's in Boston Children's Hospital. Wow.
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  In this lab, one of the things that they talk about is just what we're going to talk about today.
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  And that is, how do I determine if I've used this too much or not?
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  How do I stay on top of this? And the first question they say to ask,
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  they give you four questions.
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  And the first one is, am I being mindful?
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  You know, asking yourself this, and granted, it takes a bit of awareness to
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  find yourself in this, but are you being present and are you enjoying the people
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  or the events that are happening around you?
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  I cannot tell you, Mindy, how many times I go and watch my son or daughter play
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  in a sporting event and the bleachers are packed,
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  but there's not a parent looking or engaged with another parent anywhere to
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  be seen. They're all looking at their phones.
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  And I think that's kind of the point is that are we finding ourselves just mindlessly
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  scrolling and looking at our phones or are we present?
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  And so asking yourself, hey, am I being mindful at times can help.
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  Bring that awareness about. Well, and to your example, lots of times parents
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  think, well, my child is engaged, so I am not required to be present in what they're doing.
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  But when practice is over or when the game is over, if you can't talk to your
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  child about what happened during that game,
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  because maybe something not great happened and they need to process it,
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  or maybe something really
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  good happened and you need to share your excitement with them about that.
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  And if you aren't aware that they happened at all, then what can you do?
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  Absolutely love what you just said. And I really hope that the listeners will
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  run this back and listen to that again, because I really could not have said that any better.
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  Mindy, what you said was, are you paying attention to maybe something that didn't,
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  that shouldn't happen or what bad that happened that they want to process,
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  that you as the parent can help them process.
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  Or maybe there was something that really good happened that you need to be able
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  to acknowledge and encourage your child.
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  And these are the things that distractions...
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  Do. They take away from just that, those opportunities for us to connect and
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  have that relationship with our children and engage in that.
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  Yeah. Beautifully said. I had to restate that. I'm sorry.
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  I had to restate that because we are easily distracted. And sometimes we want,
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  if we're honest, we want to be distracted.
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  And that's not in and of itself bad, but there are times where that distraction
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  can keep us from the things that are really, really important that we We would
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  later, again, regret not being a part of that or being present in that moment.
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  Yeah. If you're sitting in the doctor's office waiting for your appointment,
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  that's a perfect time to be mindless.
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  Agreed. A good time to be distracted, maybe, right before you're going to get that shot.
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  It's true. Okay, so I was going to say, tell me, what is the second question? Am I being kind?
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  The question is, am I being kind? I saw this and initially I thought,
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  well, maybe that's not for everybody, but I think it is.
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  We're so quick to see things now on social media and respond.
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  A lot of that can be just reflex.
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  Maybe we're not having a great day. We see something that's upsetting and we
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  just want to let go on that and make a couple of snide comments.
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  The reality is that we can say things and respond and react to posts online
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  that really color us in a way that might not be accurate.
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  There's so many opportunities we have in our day-to-day to be kind that we should
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  choose to be kind when we can.
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  And so asking ourselves, hey, I know this is just a social media post.
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  I know this is just a video that I'm watching, but am I taking the opportunity
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  to be kind? Am I putting kindness out there or am I reflecting negatively?
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  And then how does that impact the rest of my day or my conversations from here
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  on? So am I being kind? A good thing to consider.
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  And whether or not you state it or type it or...
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  Do it, anything with that unkindness, if you think it, it's going to color your day.
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  Yeah, absolutely. Right. Your next interaction. That's exactly right.
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  And so making sure that how I reply, like, how will people feel about that?
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  You know, how I'm making somebody possibly feel and trying to temper what it
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  is we're saying. And is it really worth it in the end?
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  So question number three. Yeah. The third question, am I being constructive? productive.
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  This is the one that seems to be the catch for me here.
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  Is this a good use of my time? And can I be doing something more productive or important?
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  And listen, I get this. And there are a lot of folks that say,
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  hey, wait a minute. We're always driving towards productivity.
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  And so I said, am I being productive? Is there something I'm doing to be more productive?
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  That may not always be the right case, but is there something I could be doing
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  that's more more important.
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  And I think that would take us back to our first question, right?
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  Just am I being mindful? Am I paying attention?
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  The more important thing is what's happening with my child, right?
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  That's the more important thing at the moment, not cat videos,
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  not mindless TikTok stuff.
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  It is engaging with my child. It's encouraging my child.
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  It's helping my child understand and process difficult situations.
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  It's exactly those because that's for sure more important. And no parent would
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  disagree, but that's more important than mindlessly scrolling.
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  Well, the final question I'll add is, am I being healthy?
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  Am I being healthy? Is what I'm doing healthy and safe for me mentally,
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  emotionally, and physically?
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  There are a lot of things that can come across our screens that we might find ourselves wanting to.
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  Delve in and enjoy and continue to look at that might not be what is good for us.
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  And that might be a new car, that could be shopping, that could be a plethora of things.
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  It's not just content that's strictly adult.
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  It's just knowing yourself and knowing what you might find yourself engaged in.
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  And is that the right thing for me? If I'm dealing with a lot of grief,
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  for me, is it good for me to continue to read about a bunch of sad content or grief?
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  That might not be the best thing for me at the time.
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  Or if I'm dealing with some emotional turmoil, maybe I'm not in a good spot
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  to be watching fights or arguments or disagreements, however they show up on that.
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  Or maybe it's not politically charged information that maybe is going to set
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  me off. off, right? It's going to send me on a different path.
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  Is this, again, am I being healthy with my use? Right.
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  And so many times we even have to evaluate whether or not that information that
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  is being fed to us is accurate and true information because sometimes if we get really riled up,
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  that might be the intent of the information and not really what is provided inside of it.
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  You know what's so nice about these questions is
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  that they they kind of they kind of couple with each other they
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  kind of add like one to the other right you got going back
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  to am i being kind you know this is
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  is this time content healthy right because if maybe if my response is not unkind
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  then maybe the content itself is something i shouldn't be looking at or indulging
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  and i'm not saying not that there aren't times to have really good productive
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  productive conversations and discussions where people disagree.
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  I think that's fine and healthy, but how am I disagreeing? How am I feeling?
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  And is this the appropriate time? And you and I both know that the research
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  shows that people tend to be less filtered when they're.
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  Commenting or discussing things online than they might be in real life.
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  And that goes back to these questions.
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  If you answer these questions, then your filters are going to come back on. Yeah.
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  And I think sometimes some of the reason why we seem a bit less filtered when
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  we're online is because of the immediacy in which we can respond.
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  Had you been in front of me, then there may have been a slower processing for
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  me when I'm hearing you share this content.
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  I might be able to process at a slower rate and be able to take a lot more of
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  what's happening with you. And so, yeah, just understanding that we need to
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  ask ourselves, where are we in our digital awareness? Am I being kind?
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  Am I being mindful? Am I being constructive? And am I being healthy?
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  David, I think these are all wonderful points that will benefit our listeners
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  if they take the time to ask the questions before they indulge in whatever digital
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  activity that interests them.
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  I hope that you'll come back again
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  and we'll talk more about how we manage ourselves. Thank you so much.
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