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My Wedding Plans Are A People Pleaser’s Nightmare · She's On The Money

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: My name is Natasha Bamblett. I'm a proud First Nations
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: woman and I'm here to acknowledge country. Hello, beautiful friends.
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: We gather on the lands of the Aboriginal people. We thank,
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: acknowledge and respect the Aboriginal people's land that we're gathering
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: on today Take pleasure in all the land and respect
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: all that you see. She's On The Money podcast acknowledges culture, country,
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: community and connections, bringing you the tools, knowledge and resources
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: for you to thrive.
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: She's on the money. She's on the money. She's on
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: the money.
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: Hello and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: where we usually discuss all of the issues concerning your
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: wealth goals so that you can feel more in control
• 0:59
  Speaker 3: of your financial future.
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: But today, today, my friends.
• 1:02
  Speaker 3: It is Friday, the day where we like to swap
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: the serious stuff for something light and a little bit refreshing.
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: That's right, it is Friday drinks time, where we gather
• 1:12
  Speaker 3: to discuss questions, DMs and saucy dilemmas from the She's
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: On The Money community. Joining me today are my favourite co-hosts,
• 1:20
  Speaker 3: Leo Queen, wearer of caps and voicer of the people,
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: Ms Bec Syed, and collector of Trinket's musical, Lovely. So
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: this might be a little bit confronting, but would either
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: of you, and I know the answer to one of
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: your responses, would either of you consider yourself A people-pleasing person.
• 1:47
  Speaker 4: What does that look like? You know, we like to please.
• 1:50
  Speaker 4: I think we like to please.
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: In the nicest possible way, I think we might be
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: three possible people-pleasers. Me, less so because I feel like
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: over time I've learned to just push back. That's not
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: a bad thing necessarily, but let's just say this week's
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: DM is for those of us who are struggling with
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: appeasing others. We'll also be discussing whether one community member
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: actually owes tax on profits they didn't earn. So don't
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: go away. There is going to be so much more
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: after the break. Welcome back, my friends. And what kind
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: of Friday would it be without a five-star juicy review?
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: Every single week, we sift through your comments and select
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: one of the very best to feature on the pod.
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: And this one is no exception. It comes from LaRutherford,
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: who wrote in just after our thousandth episode to say,
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: This was such a great start to my birthday. Congratulations, ladies.
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: I usually listen at night when I'm at the gym,
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: but I woke up early today to tune in. You
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: should all be so proud of what you've done to
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: help women's financial literacy. I recommend this podcast to so
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: many friends and community groups, and I've seen others do
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: the same. You guys are fighting the good fight.
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: Happy belated birthday. Happy belated. Exactly.
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: And thank you for writing and for recommending us to
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: your friends.
• 3:10
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: Thank you. That's so sweet.
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: That's my favorite way to find new friends. If you've
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: always wanted to give us a shout out, please review
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: She's On The Money on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: you get your podcasts, because we would love to hear
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: from you. Now, naturally, our community love a little bit
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: of a yap. And we get the odd question here
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: and there about stuff that we're already chatting about, but
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: rarely we share outside of our Slack channels. And honestly,
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: they're some of our best conversations. So today's question of
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: the week comes from Sasha, who has asked, what is
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: your favorite activity that is free?
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: I fear mine is boring, but reading.
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: Is it free?
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: I love to read. Well, if you go to a library, yes. Oh,
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: that's a good, yeah. I was about to be like,
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: I bought my Kindle.
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: Does that count?
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 3:58
  Speaker 5: Like I obviously favor my Kindle, but you could do
• 4:00
  Speaker 5: it for free in the library.
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: And that's what I did as a kid. I loved
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: the library. Still do. Probably reading or otherwise just being outside.
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: You are a good little reader.
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: I like a high.
• 4:11
  Speaker 5: Adventure I like adventuring which I don't know if you
• 4:13
  Speaker 5: would count that as an activity but especially when I
• 4:16
  Speaker 5: was younger and not working like a full-time job I
• 4:18
  Speaker 5: would often with my best friend we'd just get in
• 4:20
  Speaker 5: the car and drive somewhere we'd never been just like
• 4:22
  Speaker 5: find somewhere that looks pretty on google maps and like
• 4:24
  Speaker 5: that is so cute spend the day there you know
• 4:26
  Speaker 5: go to a beach or go to a meadow or
• 4:29
  Speaker 5: whatever it is.
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: I have seen you in a lot of random fields.
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: Love a flower field, absolutely. And that's free. You do
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: have to pay the petrol, but you could do it
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: on the train. Yes, you could. You do have to
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: pay for a train ticket.
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: We're trying really hard here, but not a lot in
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: life is free.
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: That's so true. You could walk in your local area.
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: You could walk to a florist. You could walk to
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: a florist and look at their stuff. Absolutely. How about you, Bec?
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: I feel like you've got a good list.
• 4:53
  Speaker 4: Well, I'm thinking completely free, and I know this sounds ridiculous,
• 4:58
  Speaker 4: So if I'm at the beach, I like to dig
• 5:00
  Speaker 4: or make sandcastles or something about like this.
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: That's really awesome.
• 5:03
  Speaker 4: But if I'm like just in my backyard, this is free.
• 5:06
  Speaker 4: And then there's something about like. Getting into the dirt
• 5:09
  Speaker 4: with my hands and my fingers and trying to replicate
• 5:13
  Speaker 4: this feeling of creating or building a sandcastle.
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: You just never know what people are doing in their
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: own backyard.
• 5:21
  Speaker 4: Or just playing in it, creating little clay. I like
• 5:24
  Speaker 4: to eat grass. You guys know I sometimes like to
• 5:26
  Speaker 4: eat grass.
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: You do, and I think people are listening to this,
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: and if they're new to the pod, they're going to
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: be like, what is going on?
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: Is she making this up?
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: No, no.
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: I wish I was. I wish we were like.
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: Hey, we pay Beck to say these unhinged things. But, like,
• 5:46
  Speaker 3: can you imagine doing a surprise inspection? Like one day
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: I just randomly turn up at your house, Jess. Like
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: you'd probably look at me and be like, What's up, V?
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: Didn't expect you here. I'm just sitting at my computer
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: and here's my cat. And I'll be like, wow, that's
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: exactly what I expected. We go to Beck's house and
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: we do a surprise inspection. Walk in.
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: Where's Beck?
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: She's digging in her garden with her fingers and she
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: turns around like a tiny gremlin and you.
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: Say, what are you doing, Bec? And she goes, mud pies.
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: You'd love a mud kitchen. I really would.
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: I really would.
• 6:18
  Speaker 6: But, you know, there's something about like looking at things
• 6:21
  Speaker 6: really closely, you know, like we can see the grass,
• 6:23
  Speaker 6: but if you go into the grass and you're like
• 6:25
  Speaker 6: looking at the mud or the dirt, you're like, it's
• 6:29
  Speaker 6: really quite spectacular. Yeah.
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: You're a very tactile person. I think that's what it is.
• 6:33
  Speaker 4: I think it's like, yeah, you know, but that's the
• 6:35
  Speaker 4: only free, because I'm talking about like not on my phone,
• 6:38
  Speaker 4: not reading, not like anything that probably requires you moving
• 6:41
  Speaker 4: from place to place, like really get. into that mud
• 6:44
  Speaker 4: and start digging with your hands and you could create
• 6:48
  Speaker 4: something beautiful.
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  Speaker 2: That's Beth's favourite activity.
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  Speaker 5: I wonder if there's a single person of the thousands
• 6:52
  Speaker 5: and thousands of people listening who are like, you know what, Beth.
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: That's exactly what I'm going to do.
• 6:56
  Speaker 5: If you're going to jump, please send us a photo,
• 6:59
  Speaker 5: month-long photo.
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: I would love to see it. Please. What is going on?
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: I've lost all train of thought. Like, I agree. I'm
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: going to, like, make it boring again.
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: Please, no.
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: I also enjoy reading.
• 7:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I can't say I've ever felt the need to
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: go into my garden and dig up the dirt.
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: In fact, I think I would pay not to. Have
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: you tried gardening?
• 7:24
  Speaker 7: No.
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: Why would you do that?
• 7:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's actually a fantastic idea because you could dig
• 7:29
  Speaker 3: into the dirt and plant things.
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you could plant things. That's such a great idea.
• 7:33
  Speaker 5: And it would be free if you used like your
• 7:36
  Speaker 5: avocado pit or your leftover herbs and put them in
• 7:40
  Speaker 5: water to grow roots.
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  Speaker 2: Or you went to your local community garden.
• 7:42
  Speaker 5: Or you went to your local community garden and got
• 7:44
  Speaker 5: some things from there and then you could use those
• 7:46
  Speaker 5: things to then grow new things and in the process
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  Speaker 5: play in the dirt.
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  Speaker 2: Oh, my God.
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: Free avocados.
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: It only takes seven years. Yes.
• 7:54
  Speaker 3: My sister actually just bought her first house, which is
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: very exciting.
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: Congrats, Alex. My favorite part.
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: That's not the news, that's news, but like my favorite
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: part is she has an avocado tree that produces avocados.
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: Really?
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's very exciting. That is like a flex. Yes,
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: it really is. Like, what do you mean? You've just
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: got them growing in your garden. Oh, my God. Persimmons
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: as well. You would love it.
• 8:17
  Speaker 3: She's got a very beautiful garden.
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: But, like, what do you mean? An avocado tree.
• 8:22
  Speaker 5: She's going to be able to afford a second house
• 8:24
  Speaker 5: before you know it with all the avocado toast she's
• 8:26
  Speaker 5: going to be buying.
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: She's going to be the wealthy one.
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: I'm on to her. I like reading. I like walking.
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: I feel like my favorite free activities are, like, hanging out.
• 8:35
  Speaker 3: Spending time with people.
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like this question was asked earlier.
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: As like an inspiration question, like, oh, what's something that
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: you do that's free, like that we could share that,
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: you know, we probably haven't heard of, but I'm really sorry.
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: We've got nothing. No. We've got nothing.
• 8:49
  Speaker 4: But yeah, if you are among friends, so many games
• 8:51
  Speaker 4: you could play that you don't need any equipment for.
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: We're assuming we're alone. That's true.
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: But one of my favorite free activities is having my
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: friends over.
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: And I think a lot of people assume that when
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: your friends come over, you have to like entertain and
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: that involves going and buying a cheese platter or like,
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: you know, making a fancy dinner. But like, I just
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: love having my friends come over to my house. Like Jess,
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: you've been to my house a million times. I'm like, oh,
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: do you want to drink? And then we open the
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: fridge and just see what's available. Like we're not, you know, going, oh,
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: I've made this fancy cocktail. That is really fun. And
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: I do love doing that.
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: But I don't know. You want to come over? You hungry?
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: I've got some apples. Yeah.
• 9:28
  Speaker 5: Coexisting, like just sitting on a couch and like reading
• 9:31
  Speaker 5: together at the same time or watching TV together, like
• 9:34
  Speaker 5: just being with somebody.
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: I love that. It's fun and free.
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: My best friend literally comes and stays the weekend at
• 9:39
  Speaker 3: my house and we make no plans and then we
• 9:41
  Speaker 3: scroll on our phones together.
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: Perfect. Dream. It's amazing. That is a dream.
• 9:44
  Speaker 3: We do fight over what we put on TV and
• 9:48
  Speaker 3: we usually default to my husband. I'm like, well, you
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: pick so we.
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: Can blame you if it's not good.
• 9:53
  Speaker 6: Yes.
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: Very clever.
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: Anyway, obviously I was right when I said our community
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: loves a good yak. because that went sideways. But if
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: you've got a question that you are dying to be
• 10:04
  Speaker 3: asked on the podcast, please send it through to our socials.
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: Who knows?
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: It might actually make a cameo next week. Miss Jessica Ricci.
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: We like to think of our community as absolute wealth magnates, but.
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: Sometimes we celebrate the small things as well.
• 10:19
  Speaker 6: Absolutely.
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: What money wins have been following us this week? Well,
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: very on topic.
• 10:24
  Speaker 5: I have a money win from Casey who said she
• 10:26
  Speaker 5: took up gardening as a hobby two years ago.
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: Did you pre-read all of your money wins? Well, yes,
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: you did.
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: You picked them. I certainly did. I see what you've done.
• 10:34
  Speaker 5: And she said she realised she was casually heading to
• 10:36
  Speaker 5: her backyard to pick all the items she wanted for
• 10:38
  Speaker 5: her lunch. The amount of money she saves on veggies
• 10:41
  Speaker 5: and herbs, things like lettuce, capsicum, spinach, thyme, snow peas, beans, basil, oregano,
• 10:46
  Speaker 5: et cetera, is amazing.
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: Wow. So I really do think you should give gardening
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: a go.
• 10:51
  Speaker 7: Yes.
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: I think you might really enjoy it.
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: Yes, thank you. I also think that's such a good
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: money-saving tip. Like if you cook regularly and you buy
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: basil a lot, like consider a basil plant because I was,
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: I wasn't shocked. I was just annoyed by it. I
• 11:05
  Speaker 3: was in a mood the other week when I was
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: at the supermarket. And you know when you like know
• 11:09
  Speaker 3: the price of something, but you pick it up and
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: then you're like, hold on, what do you mean $ 4
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: for some fresh basil?
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: Crazy. That's crazy. Yeah.
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: So grow your own plants, but maybe start with herbs
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: and things that you can just small, use them as
• 11:22
  Speaker 3: they go.
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: Maybe you don't have a.
• 11:24
  Speaker 3: Lot of room and you could put a pot in
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: a window somewhere.
• 11:26
  Speaker 5: Yeah. Or you can get portable garden beds because I
• 11:29
  Speaker 5: always wanted to grow veggies or compost cut flowers, but
• 11:31
  Speaker 5: I've never done it because I've been renting and I've
• 11:33
  Speaker 5: been thinking, well, how would I take it?
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: Not for much longer. I know, which is so exciting.
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: But I saw recently, I was like, oh, too little,
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: too late.
• 11:39
  Speaker 5: But I think they're called veggie pods and they're like
• 11:42
  Speaker 5: raised garden beds on wheels so you can move around
• 11:46
  Speaker 5: your backyard for sun.
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: But also like if you were moving house, you just
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: move the whole planter with you.
• 11:52
  Speaker 5: So if you put all your time into building a garden,
• 11:54
  Speaker 5: you wouldn't then have to leave it when you moved
• 11:56
  Speaker 5: out of the rental, which I think is very clever.
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: Can you imagine telling the removalist, yeah, if you could
• 11:59
  Speaker 3: just like get the bed in that room and also
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: the garden bed.
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: And you'll be like, what next, the kitchen sink? And
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: you'll be like, well, actually, there's a pot of water
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: in my mud kitchen. Yeah, if you wouldn't mind.
• 12:10
  Speaker 5: Next, I've got a money win from Jessica, great name,
• 12:12
  Speaker 5: who said, I was able to pay for my car
• 12:14
  Speaker 5: rego for the year for the first.
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: Time in years. Wow. Super proud of.
• 12:18
  Speaker 5: Myself and it might not be a big deal to others,
• 12:21
  Speaker 5: but it is the perfect start to achieving my 2026
• 12:24
  Speaker 5: financial year goals.
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: Amazing. Very proud of you, girl.
• 12:28
  Speaker 5: Next, I've got a money win from Simonette who said,
• 12:30
  Speaker 5: I revisited my phone and internet, separating them to fit
• 12:34
  Speaker 5: them into the sheet in the money budget spreadsheet. It
• 12:37
  Speaker 5: revealed my phone plan had increased a month or so ago.
• 12:40
  Speaker 5: I negotiated with the telco. I pushed relatively hard, got
• 12:43
  Speaker 5: three rounds of counter offers, but I'd done my homework
• 12:45
  Speaker 5: and I got my bill down from.
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: $ 60 to $ 25 per month for the next year. Gorgeous.
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: So many wins in that. Well done.
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah, hell yeah.
• 12:53
  Speaker 5: If you want the budget spreadsheet, we do have a
• 12:55
  Speaker 5: free version. It's available on our website. We'll link it
• 12:57
  Speaker 5: in the show notes. Then I've got a money win
• 12:59
  Speaker 5: from Piper who said, I was quoted $ 300 for a
• 13:03
  Speaker 5: friend's gender reveal cake. I decided to make it myself.
• 13:07
  Speaker 5: It was $ 20 and it turned out pretty great, I think.
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: Stop, $ 20? And it's very cute. She gave us a photo. Oh,
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: that is cute. It was very professional. Beautiful little heart cake. Stop,
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: I would pay money for that.
• 13:17
  Speaker 3: Absolutely. Absolutely.
• 13:18
  Speaker 5: $ 20 compared to $ 300.
• 13:19
  Speaker 6: I think.
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: I'd pay more than $ 20 just to make that abundantly clear.
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: Absolutely. She did a really great job.
• 13:25
  Speaker 5: Next, I've got a money win from Kayla who said,'
• 13:26
  Speaker 5: We' re renovating and during my cleaning, I've managed to sort
• 13:29
  Speaker 5: through lots of old stuff and I've made some quick
• 13:32
  Speaker 5: cash for a rainy day by selling things on Facebook Marketplace.'
• 13:36
  Speaker 5: I have been doing the same thing. I wanted to
• 13:37
  Speaker 5: say in the lead up to my move, I've made
• 13:39
  Speaker 5: like $ 800 just selling things.
• 13:41
  Speaker 3: What?
• 13:41
  Speaker 5: $ 800. God, what are we selling? I have been keeping track.
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: Let me tell you. Okay, thank you. We need the
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: laundry list. Yeah, please.
• 13:48
  Speaker 5: I sold an old watch, an old pair of merino
• 13:51
  Speaker 5: wool pants, some pillows, like throw pillows, not sleeping pillows, obviously,
• 13:55
  Speaker 5: some old books, some old Halloween decor, and then just
• 13:58
  Speaker 5: some old clothes.
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: That I had lying around. Wow. Love that. $ 770 so far.
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: That's so much money, Jess. That's so good. Heaps of money.
• 14:05
  Speaker 5: So people go through, do it, and especially if you're
• 14:07
  Speaker 5: moving because the less things you own, the less stuff
• 14:09
  Speaker 5: you've got to move.
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: Yes. Exactly right.
• 14:12
  Speaker 5: And then lastly this week, I've got a money win
• 14:14
  Speaker 5: from Cassandra who said, there was recently a skiing accident
• 14:17
  Speaker 5: whilst they were in Queenstown.
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: She said, everything's okay. Everyone's all right.
• 14:21
  Speaker 3: That is crazy. She posted that yesterday because she messaged
• 14:23
  Speaker 3: me about that yesterday.
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: That's hilarious.
• 14:26
  Speaker 5: She said, everything's okay. Javi's got a dislocated shoulder. It's
• 14:29
  Speaker 5: back in place. He's just a little sore, but the
• 14:32
  Speaker 5: scripts were free.
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: What a country. She thought they'd be out of pocket.
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: It was all covered. This is not someone I know personally,
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: by the way.
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: This is just like one of the She's On The
• 14:41
  Speaker 3: Money community members that I like talking to on Instagram. Like,
• 14:45
  Speaker 3: People slide into my DMs and I just think that
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: we're best friends all of a sudden. She messages me
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: that she's in Queenstown. She's like, you love Queenstown.
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: Here's my like cafe recommendation. I was like, thanks, Angel. Like,
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: that's amazing.
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: And then the next day she sends me a picture
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: of her husband in the hospital with like an arm
• 15:01
  Speaker 3: sling on.
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, girl, what happened?
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: And she said, skiing accident. And I looked at the
• 15:04
  Speaker 3: picture a little bit more closely and I was like, oh,
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: that's a gas tank.
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: And I was like, dislocation? And she's like, yes. And
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: I was like, I do not envy you.
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: Oh, my goodness.
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: Well, I'm glad to hear everybody's okay.
• 15:16
  Speaker 5: Glad to hear that everything over there was free because
• 15:19
  Speaker 5: who knows, maybe I'll.
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: Hurt myself while I'm there. But yeah. What do you mean?
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: But what's up, Cassandra? One day maybe we'll meet in person.
• 15:25
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: It'd be amazing. Queenstown meetup. Anybody? Respect, Syed. What have
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: you got?
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 15:30
  Speaker 4: So this week, as per, I have two from the community,
• 15:33
  Speaker 4: one for myself. This first one comes from Laura who says, Apparently,
• 15:37
  Speaker 4: you can get free groceries slash items at IGA if
• 15:40
  Speaker 4: you sign up through Mouths of Mums and review products.
• 15:44
  Speaker 4: You don't have to be a mum to qualify, and
• 15:46
  Speaker 4: right now they have an offer for getting a whole
• 15:48
  Speaker 4: roast chook. But sometimes they send out gift cards to
• 15:51
  Speaker 4: redeem at IGA.
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: Isn't that gorgeous? I love a roast chalk. Like a
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: product testing kind of. Yeah, like a product review, product testing.
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: Mouths of mums. So have a little Google. You don't
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: have to be a mum to sign up.
• 16:03
  Speaker 4: This next one comes from Miriam who says, I sold
• 16:06
  Speaker 4: a pile of broken jewellery to gold kiosks the other day.
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: $ 1, 400.
• 16:10
  Speaker 4: Later after I'd driven it around in my car for
• 16:13
  Speaker 4: six months. I didn't know you could do that because
• 16:15
  Speaker 4: I feel like there's so much. Like maybe it's not
• 16:17
  Speaker 4: the best looking jewelry, but there's like bits of chain everywhere.
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: Doesn't everyone have like bits of chain in their car?
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: In their car?
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: Maybe you found some while digging in the dirt.
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: Maybe that's where I found it.
• 16:31
  Speaker 5: They would just melt it down. Like you'd probably, they
• 16:33
  Speaker 5: pay by weight, I imagine, and they'd melt it down
• 16:35
  Speaker 5: into new things because obviously gold you can reuse and remake.
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: True.
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: I have a feeling Beck was maybe a magpie in
• 16:42
  Speaker 3: her previous life.
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: Actually, probably. That makes a lot of sense. She likes
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: trying things. She liked digging in the dirt. Yes. Worms
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: eating grass. Eating grass. What else do they do? I
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: like to swoop.
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: I have been swooped by Beck before.
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: 10 would swoop again.
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: In fact, out the front of my house at the moment,
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: there's a really big, well not at the moment, there
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: is a really big tree out the front of my
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: house always. But at the moment there is a magpie
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: in it that is building a nest. And I am
• 17:10
  Speaker 3: not entirely sure if this is good. So if anyone
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: has tips on how to befriend the magpie, I don't
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: want the magpie to leave.
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: Like that's his house. That's all her house.
• 17:18
  Speaker 3: I don't know who's building the house. I assumed it
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: was the male, which is very bad of me. But
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: how do I make friends with magpies?
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: I love chat.
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: Like do I go out and just be like, hey,
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: here's an offering? Because like I know from my copious
• 17:34
  Speaker 3: amounts of research on TikTok that magpies If you befriend
• 17:37
  Speaker 3: a magpie, they don't swoop you.
• 17:39
  Speaker 6: True.
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: Because they're smart. They know who you are.
• 17:41
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 17:42
  Speaker 3: But if you're going to live outside my house, I
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: think we should be good neighbours.
• 17:45
  Speaker 5: They like good snacks because I put food out for
• 17:47
  Speaker 5: our neighbourhood stray cats and sometimes the birds eat the
• 17:49
  Speaker 5: dry food. So maybe just get a little bird feeder
• 17:53
  Speaker 5: or something or some cat food, double win for all
• 17:56
  Speaker 5: the edibles.
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: I already have a cat. Well, there you go. Also.
• 17:59
  Speaker 3: Are you saying that there are stray cats that I
• 18:01
  Speaker 3: could attract to my house?
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
• 18:03
  Speaker 6: Definitely.
• 18:04
  Speaker 5: This is my long-term play. One day I'll just have
• 18:08
  Speaker 5: many cats.
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: More cats, more better. I like it. Miss Bexayed? Yes,
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: and then from myself.
• 18:15
  Speaker 4: Whenever I want to buy a big bouquet of flowers
• 18:17
  Speaker 4: for someone, I pick like two or three of the
• 18:19
  Speaker 4: most affordable ones. So I'm talking like, you know, you
• 18:22
  Speaker 4: got your straw flower, usually like $ 10. Your baby's breath,
• 18:26
  Speaker 4: just to fill it up, it's like also usually $ 10.
• 18:28
  Speaker 4: But if you pick a couple or like max three
• 18:32
  Speaker 4: really cheap or affordable bunches, you get a bouquet. You
• 18:35
  Speaker 4: go to the desk and they usually put it all
• 18:37
  Speaker 4: in there for you in a nice arrangement. And then
• 18:40
  Speaker 4: you have a whole bouquet, which usually would cost like $ 50,
• 18:42
  Speaker 4: $ 60 for what might be like $ 35, you know? And
• 18:46
  Speaker 4: it's also more personal because you're like picking them yourself
• 18:50
  Speaker 4: and you're kind of, you know what the person likes.
• 18:52
  Speaker 4: And I just think it's a lot cheaper in the
• 18:54
  Speaker 4: long run instead of a whole bouquet of flowers. So
• 18:58
  Speaker 4: give that a go.
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: I love that.
• 19:00
  Speaker 3: I love that. Way back when I was in uni,
• 19:04
  Speaker 3: I used to live backing onto a park that had
• 19:07
  Speaker 3: a lot of like eucalyptus trees and I would maybe
• 19:11
  Speaker 3: liberate some of the foliage to pack out my bouquets.
• 19:16
  Speaker 3: And I'd be strategic. I would buy a like native
• 19:19
  Speaker 3: bunch of flowers and then put a heap of gum
• 19:22
  Speaker 3: leaves and stuff and it would become a really big
• 19:24
  Speaker 3: bunch of flowers.
• 19:24
  Speaker 7: Clever.
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: That's a free way of doing that.
• 19:27
  Speaker 6: Yes.
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: Very clever. Money win.
• 19:29
  Speaker 3: All right. Well, if you have enjoyed today's tips, my friends,
• 19:31
  Speaker 3: they are plenty more where they came from on the
• 19:34
  Speaker 3: she's on the money facebook group and if you haven't
• 19:36
  Speaker 3: already joined in on the conversation please do you never
• 19:39
  Speaker 3: know what genius you might be finding in the comments
• 19:41
  Speaker 3: next up this week's money dilemma and let's just say
• 19:44
  Speaker 3: things get a little prickly.
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: Welcome back, everybody. Let's take a listen to this week's
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: money dilemma. Hi there.
• 19:55
  Speaker 7: Have you got a money dilemma you just can't solve?
• 19:58
  Speaker 7: The She's On The Money team is here to help.
• 20:00
  Speaker 7: Every week we tackle your dilemmas, both big and small,
• 20:03
  Speaker 7: to answer your most burning money, career and life questions.
• 20:07
  Speaker 7: To get involved, simply head to our website and leave
• 20:09
  Speaker 7: us a short voice recording and you might just find
• 20:11
  Speaker 7: yourself on the show. Now let's take a listen to
• 20:14
  Speaker 7: this week's Money Dilemma.
• 20:15
  Speaker 8: Hi, Queens. I'm hoping you can give me some advice
• 20:20
  Speaker 8: because I'm feeling really stressed about a tax situation. We
• 20:24
  Speaker 8: sold our family home in April this year and it
• 20:26
  Speaker 8: was our primary place of residence on 15 Acres. We've
• 20:30
  Speaker 8: since found out that we're going to have to pay
• 20:32
  Speaker 8: capital gains tax on part of the property because it's
• 20:35
  Speaker 8: over a two hectare threshold, even though it was literally
• 20:38
  Speaker 8: just our home with a hobby farm. We don't have
• 20:42
  Speaker 8: an ABN. We never earned any income from the land.
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: So it's come as a huge shock.
• 20:46
  Speaker 8: And even the real estate agent who sold the property
• 20:48
  Speaker 8: didn't know that this was a thing. So our accountant
• 20:51
  Speaker 8: has estimated our tax bill could be around $ 30, 000, which
• 20:54
  Speaker 8: would completely wipe out our savings tax. On top of that,
• 20:57
  Speaker 8: I'm super stressed about how this might affect our Centrelink
• 20:59
  Speaker 8: childcare subsidy. I've been told that the capital gain will
• 21:02
  Speaker 8: be included in our taxable income for the year. So
• 21:05
  Speaker 8: our income is basically going to be much higher than
• 21:08
  Speaker 8: what we estimated. And I'm so scared we're going to
• 21:10
  Speaker 8: end up with a big Centrelink debt as well. We're
• 21:13
  Speaker 8: already stretched with our mortgage repayments and childcare costs. And
• 21:17
  Speaker 8: after paying for those, there's only really just enough left
• 21:19
  Speaker 8: for like food and bills and Is there anything we
• 21:21
  Speaker 8: should be looking into or any advice you can give?
• 21:24
  Speaker 8: Thank you so much and absolutely adore the pod.
• 21:26
  Speaker 4: Whoa.
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: Well, thank you for your lovely words. It's very sweet.
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: Thank you for calling us queens. Yes, we love that.
• 21:33
  Speaker 5: My only personal knowledge of capital gains, and it sounds
• 21:36
  Speaker 5: like this sits well outside of that, I just know
• 21:38
  Speaker 5: for if you were selling an investment property, for example,
• 21:41
  Speaker 5: if you make a profit when you sell your house,
• 21:44
  Speaker 5: you have to pay capital gains on that.
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: So if you built.
• 21:47
  Speaker 5: Your house for $ 500, 000, then you sold it for $ 550, 000,
• 21:50
  Speaker 5: you would owe capital gains on the $.
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: 50, 000, I'm pretty sure. I don't even need to be here.
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: That is correct. But that's separate. I don't know what
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: the two hectare.
• 21:59
  Speaker 3: Rule See, I do know about the two hectare rule
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: because I own a mortgage broking business and we're always
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: talking about property and property sizes. And a lot of
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: the time my brokers are kind of like, we like
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: to do a little bit of like cash flow and
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: budgeting with our clients as well. So like if we
• 22:15
  Speaker 3: know we will share it with you and be like, oh,
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: just FYI, you know. It's above two hectares. That means
• 22:20
  Speaker 3: it's not actually categorized as a hobby farm anymore. It's
• 22:24
  Speaker 3: too big.
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: So that's what's happened.
• 22:26
  Speaker 3: And yes, you are correct in that if you're paying
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: capital gains, it means you've made a profit. So like
• 22:31
  Speaker 3: I get that it's financially really hard, but you'll be
• 22:34
  Speaker 3: paying tax on a profit. So there should still be
• 22:36
  Speaker 3: some profit. there. So I'm kind of like, is that
• 22:39
  Speaker 3: not a good thing? But obviously I don't want a
• 22:42
  Speaker 3: big tax bill either. So the first port of call,
• 22:45
  Speaker 3: I would talk to my accountant, be like, what does
• 22:46
  Speaker 3: this actually look like? How does this work? You've obviously
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: spoken to the real estate agent and you've had a
• 22:51
  Speaker 3: look at, you know, whether this was appropriate or not.
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: And he's deemed it.
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: Yep.
• 22:56
  Speaker 3: That's people in very similar situations because like two hectares
• 23:03
  Speaker 3: is actually a really, it's a normal amount of land
• 23:06
  Speaker 3: that people would subdivide to if you were like cutting
• 23:08
  Speaker 3: farms up, if that makes sense. So this is quite common,
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: but you could have the land resurveyed and it might
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: fall just below it, which would mean that that changes
• 23:19
  Speaker 3: that situation. You can also call the ATO and be like, well,
• 23:22
  Speaker 3: what do I do here? Like it never generated a
• 23:24
  Speaker 3: profit and see what they say. But your accountant should
• 23:27
  Speaker 3: also be able to discuss this with the ATO and
• 23:29
  Speaker 3: see if there's any exemptions because it was never a
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: property that was generating an income. And that's why you're
• 23:35
  Speaker 3: experiencing that additional tax. Again, I'm not a tax professional.
• 23:39
  Speaker 3: These are just people that I would reach out to.
• 23:41
  Speaker 3: Like whenever I've got a tax question, the first person
• 23:44
  Speaker 3: that I call is my, my accountant, Louie.
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, what up Louie? Tell me what to
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: do here.
• 23:49
  Speaker 3: Even if I think I know the answer because he's
• 23:52
  Speaker 3: got his finger on the pulse every single day and
• 23:54
  Speaker 3: has probably, you know, looked into that before. But yes,
• 23:58
  Speaker 3: I would literally just be getting some advice. And then
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: if you're up for the $ 30, 000 and there's no way
• 24:03
  Speaker 3: of getting out of it, you can talk to the
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: ATO about a payment plan instead of having to transfer
• 24:07
  Speaker 3: them your $ 30, 000 in savings and be high and dry
• 24:10
  Speaker 3: and work out what that actually means. But again, I
• 24:14
  Speaker 3: can't tell you how that interconnects into your childcare subsidy
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: and like your taxable income. But ultimately, if you have
• 24:21
  Speaker 3: made money from an asset that you have sold and
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: tax is needing to be paid... feel like that's a
• 24:28
  Speaker 3: good situation to be in.
• 24:29
  Speaker 4: I obviously don't have any advice, but the only thing
• 24:31
  Speaker 4: I do want to say is that I'm really sorry
• 24:32
  Speaker 4: that this is happening.
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: It just feels so like hard.
• 24:35
  Speaker 4: It feels hard and it feels like if the real
• 24:37
  Speaker 4: estate agent didn't know, it's like this random, if you
• 24:40
  Speaker 4: don't know what you don't know, then you don't even
• 24:42
  Speaker 4: know to ask or where to look for it. It's
• 24:44
  Speaker 4: like this random rule of two hectare plus whatever. If
• 24:47
  Speaker 4: I'm not asking my real estate agent, hey, if I
• 24:49
  Speaker 4: cough 20 times a day, will I be taxed on that?
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: It's completely, it just feels arbitrary. It just feels crazy.
• 24:54
  Speaker 4: It's like, what would I know to ask that question?
• 24:56
  Speaker 4: And so now you're here with this huge bill.
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: It feels so mean. It just feels so unfair. So
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: I'm really sorry.
• 25:01
  Speaker 3: I agree. I also think it's a really good lesson
• 25:04
  Speaker 3: in surrounding yourself with the right professionals who are really competent,
• 25:08
  Speaker 3: like having a good broker who can talk you through
• 25:10
  Speaker 3: all of the property costs and disposal costs of a
• 25:13
  Speaker 3: particular property, having a really good accountant who can help
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: you with those things, you know, the real estate agent, honestly,
• 25:20
  Speaker 3: they might not have had to know the tax implications
• 25:23
  Speaker 3: of you buying and selling a property because it's actually
• 25:25
  Speaker 3: not their job, but they might have known. And yes,
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: you don't know what you don't know, but surrounding yourself
• 25:32
  Speaker 3: with professionals when making a really big decision like purchasing
• 25:35
  Speaker 3: a home, I think is really important. Like even me,
• 25:39
  Speaker 3: you know, talking to Jess about go see the right broker,
• 25:42
  Speaker 3: make sure that you're in the right hands so that
• 25:44
  Speaker 3: you're looked after, but also have a good conveyancer because
• 25:47
  Speaker 3: that will be worth its weight in gold for like
• 25:50
  Speaker 3: reviewing contracts and being like, hey, did you know that
• 25:52
  Speaker 3: there's an HOA on here? Or hey, did you know
• 25:54
  Speaker 3: that there'll be body corp or whatever that looks like. Or, hey,
• 25:57
  Speaker 3: did you know that you'll be up for some additional tax?
• 25:59
  Speaker 3: Because my conveyancer, Layla, she took me through absolutely everything.
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: To be like, did you know that you'll have to
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: pay this? And I was like, no, but thank you
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: for letting me know. And I think that.
• 26:09
  Speaker 3: That's where the value, and I'm not saying that that's
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: what you should do because clearly you weren't in that situation,
• 26:15
  Speaker 3: but for people who are learning from the podcast, the
• 26:17
  Speaker 3: value of the people you surround yourself with making the
• 26:21
  Speaker 3: biggest financial decision of your life is so important.
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: 100%.
• 26:25
  Speaker 3: Moving on from that, I have something else for you.
• 26:29
  Speaker 3: It is a DM from a community member that is
• 26:31
  Speaker 3: in the throes of wedding planning and they wrote in
• 26:34
  Speaker 3: and they said, Hi team, I'm newly engaged and beginning
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: to plan my wedding. I love planning and have always
• 26:40
  Speaker 3: been really excited for such an important event, but it
• 26:43
  Speaker 3: is turning into a people pleasing event. My partner doesn't
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: like attention and the thought of spending so much money
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: on one night makes him sick. He would rather spend
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: the money on our honeymoon or on our future children.
• 26:55
  Speaker 3: I want a big wedding so I can dance the
• 26:57
  Speaker 3: night away, but I'm happy to cut costs in other
• 27:00
  Speaker 3: ways through doing a lot of DIY. Not only that,
• 27:04
  Speaker 3: but my family has become very opinionated and unrealistic when
• 27:07
  Speaker 3: it comes to spending money on the wedding. They want
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: me to have everything and disregard when I say we
• 27:13
  Speaker 3: can't afford something or just don't want it.
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: Saying things like.
• 27:16
  Speaker 3: I need to live a little and just enjoy life.
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: Do I have the big wedding or do I have.
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: A small wedding?
• 27:24
  Speaker 4: Firstly, I just want to talk about people pleasing and
• 27:26
  Speaker 4: then I want to move on to this, but I'll
• 27:27
  Speaker 4: be really.
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: Really quick.
• 27:28
  Speaker 4: So I think that there's such like a negative, like,
• 27:32
  Speaker 4: stigma about people pleasing. And it's crazy that all the
• 27:35
  Speaker 4: attention is on people that are too nice. They're pleasing
• 27:38
  Speaker 4: too much. They're accommodating.
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: They're too agreeable.
• 27:40
  Speaker 4: And like the attention is never on the people who
• 27:43
  Speaker 4: are just like not very considerate and taking advantage of
• 27:45
  Speaker 4: people and also probably.
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: A little bit mean.
• 27:47
  Speaker 4: And it's like, let's instead, because we wouldn't have to
• 27:50
  Speaker 4: be putting ourselves in really bad situations if people were
• 27:53
  Speaker 4: just like Just check themselves a little bit.
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, am I making this person uncomfortable?
• 27:57
  Speaker 4: So it's like it's not all on the people pleaser.
• 28:00
  Speaker 4: It actually should mainly not be on the people pleaser
• 28:02
  Speaker 4: is what I'm saying. Anyway, you could have a medium
• 28:04
  Speaker 4: wedding because it's like I don't really understand where all
• 28:08
  Speaker 4: the money comes in because I've never had a wedding.
• 28:10
  Speaker 3: I've never had to plan a wedding.
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: It's like the venue. It's like... Your food and drinks package.
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: Food and drinks.
• 28:17
  Speaker 5: It's like if you think about... It depends on the
• 28:18
  Speaker 5: type of wedding. But if you think about... A wedding
• 28:21
  Speaker 5: starts off as a blank room, right? And then anything you...
• 28:24
  Speaker 5: And this is a generalization, obviously, different venues, whatever. But
• 28:27
  Speaker 5: it's like every single thing that you put in that
• 28:29
  Speaker 5: room then costs money.
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: So if you want to put.
• 28:32
  Speaker 5: napkins for people, if you want to put cutlery for people,
• 28:35
  Speaker 5: if you want to put chairs for people.
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: Yes, true.
• 28:37
  Speaker 5: Every single item that you bring in, you pay a
• 28:41
  Speaker 5: fee for, and then you often have service charges. So
• 28:43
  Speaker 5: if you're doing a dinner, for example, you have to
• 28:45
  Speaker 5: pay for the food to be made if it's being
• 28:48
  Speaker 5: brought in externally, because not all venues provide food.
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: You might have to pay a service fee. Same with
• 28:53
  Speaker 2: the alcohol.
• 28:54
  Speaker 5: You pay for the alcohol if it's being brought in,
• 28:56
  Speaker 5: but then you might also have to pay the service
• 28:58
  Speaker 5: fee for the alcohol to be served.
• 29:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's actually crazy, Bec.
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: Crazy, okay.
• 29:04
  Speaker 3: Like, for my wedding, we paid so many different things
• 29:08
  Speaker 3: that I didn't even know. So, like, I was very
• 29:11
  Speaker 3: lucky and had a wedding that people would say it
• 29:13
  Speaker 3: was a really big wedding. And I regret nothing. I
• 29:16
  Speaker 3: really enjoyed it. But one of the things that I think...
• 29:20
  Speaker 3: led to that decision being made was we could financially
• 29:22
  Speaker 3: afford it. Like we had already bought our first home.
• 29:25
  Speaker 3: We had our emergency fund. We had, you know, some
• 29:28
  Speaker 3: money sitting aside for our savings. It made financial sense
• 29:31
  Speaker 3: for us. Would I say, oh, everyone should do that?
• 29:35
  Speaker 3: Absolutely not. In fact, I would think it is very
• 29:38
  Speaker 3: financially irresponsible to do what I did if you weren't
• 29:40
  Speaker 3: in the financial position that I was in. And I
• 29:42
  Speaker 3: say that not because I'm like, oh, I'm better than this.
• 29:45
  Speaker 3: Like I'm saying it because it genuinely is. And I
• 29:49
  Speaker 3: felt so lucky to have that wedding. But like I
• 29:52
  Speaker 3: was even paying for things like cutlery, as Jess said, napkins.
• 29:56
  Speaker 3: I paid for different chairs to be brought in. I
• 29:59
  Speaker 3: wanted a particular champagne because it's my favorite and we
• 30:02
  Speaker 3: didn't have a wedding cake and my But they charged
• 30:06
  Speaker 3: us to serve that champagne at our wedding because it
• 30:10
  Speaker 3: wasn't on their wine list.
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: I see.
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: I see.
• 30:13
  Speaker 3: I had to hire different wine glasses for the champagne
• 30:16
  Speaker 3: that we hired, a photographer, a videographer, florist. I had
• 30:19
  Speaker 3: to pay for the florist to come back to take
• 30:21
  Speaker 3: the flowers away. It adds up so significantly. Yeah, I see.
• 30:26
  Speaker 3: I mean, there's a free wedding budget tool on our
• 30:28
  Speaker 3: website too, if anybody's interested in making sure that they
• 30:30
  Speaker 3: don't miss a thing. Because like, I didn't list what
• 30:32
  Speaker 3: I paid, but I listed every single thing that I
• 30:34
  Speaker 3: did pay for so that you don't miss a thing.
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: That's a good idea.
• 30:37
  Speaker 4: And so this is what I think is like, try
• 30:40
  Speaker 4: and really figure out what parts of the wedding are
• 30:43
  Speaker 4: most important to you. For me, if I'm going to
• 30:44
  Speaker 4: have a big wedding and you know, I don't really
• 30:46
  Speaker 4: care about weddings personally, but if I was going to
• 30:47
  Speaker 4: have one, I would want it to be like aesthetically,
• 30:50
  Speaker 4: I want it to be amazing. And then if you
• 30:52
  Speaker 4: can narrow it down to exactly what you want.
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: You want to dance.
• 30:54
  Speaker 4: So I would scrap the venue and be like, What
• 30:59
  Speaker 4: do I need to make it legally a wedding? Maybe
• 31:01
  Speaker 4: a celebrant or whatever the hell it is. But then
• 31:03
  Speaker 4: just go out into a paddock somewhere. Just see if
• 31:05
  Speaker 4: someone has a big house that you could do it at.
• 31:07
  Speaker 3: You say that, but those weddings are more expensive.
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: Oh, really?
• 31:11
  Speaker 3: Like because if you go into it, where are we going?
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: The bathroom. Oh, where are you going? The bathroom. You've
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: got to go to the bathroom.
• 31:16
  Speaker 3: Like if you've got like 100 people coming to your
• 31:18
  Speaker 3: big wedding in the paddock, like it's crazy. But private
• 31:22
  Speaker 3: estate weddings is, you know, how I'm going to refer
• 31:24
  Speaker 3: to it. they are usually more expensive than just hiring
• 31:28
  Speaker 3: a venue. Yeah. Like, how are you getting electricity? You're
• 31:30
  Speaker 3: going to take your own generator?
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: Right, right, right. A fairy light solar panel. Oh, yeah, cool.
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: But like, where are you buying fairy lights?
• 31:37
  Speaker 3: Because they're not just at the venue. It's actually crazy
• 31:40
  Speaker 3: how much this stuff adds up. So I get it.
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 31:44
  Speaker 3: But also, as the only person in this room right
• 31:46
  Speaker 3: now who's gotten married, go back to What you want.
• 31:50
  Speaker 3: It is your day. And you just heard me talk
• 31:53
  Speaker 3: about my wedding. I didn't go, Jess really liked the
• 31:56
  Speaker 3: cutlery I picked.
• 31:57
  Speaker 2: Did you?
• 31:59
  Speaker 3: I hope you do. You probably didn't even remember it.
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: I couldn't tell you what it was. Exactly. So it
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: doesn't matter. You're doing it for you.
• 32:05
  Speaker 3: I think the one thing that I went into wedding
• 32:08
  Speaker 3: planning was, was I want people to feel like they
• 32:11
  Speaker 3: were wanted at my wedding. I want people to feel like,
• 32:16
  Speaker 3: for me, it was really important that you were there.
• 32:18
  Speaker 3: So the DIY components of my wedding, I think became
• 32:22
  Speaker 3: the most impactful as opposed to, oh, V had beautiful flowers.
• 32:26
  Speaker 3: Like I did, but that's not what made the wedding.
• 32:30
  Speaker 3: One of the things that people still talk about, like
• 32:33
  Speaker 3: if my wedding comes up, is that on, and this
• 32:36
  Speaker 3: took forever, but on every single person's table, they had
• 32:39
  Speaker 3: a name card. It had their name on it. On
• 32:41
  Speaker 3: the back of that had a personal letter to them
• 32:44
  Speaker 3: about why they were in the room. Like, Hey, Jess, like,
• 32:48
  Speaker 3: and I don't know what I wrote in Jess's, but
• 32:50
  Speaker 3: it was a personal letter to Jess and Jess brought
• 32:54
  Speaker 3: her partner. So it was a personal letter to Jess's partner.
• 32:58
  Speaker 3: There was not one person in that room that my
• 33:00
  Speaker 3: husband and I did not want at that wedding. And
• 33:03
  Speaker 3: I wanted them to walk away feeling that.
• 33:05
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: That is free.
• 33:06
  Speaker 3: That took me a really long time and a really
• 33:08
  Speaker 3: big spreadsheet of writing letters to literally every person that
• 33:11
  Speaker 3: I then transposed over onto those cards.
• 33:16
  Speaker 4: But.
• 33:17
  Speaker 3: for me, that was the impactful stuff. So your wedding
• 33:19
  Speaker 3: does not have to be big. It doesn't have to
• 33:21
  Speaker 3: be small. It doesn't have to be anything, but sit
• 33:23
  Speaker 3: with your husband and talk about your values. Like he
• 33:25
  Speaker 3: doesn't like that.
• 33:26
  Speaker 2: Great.
• 33:27
  Speaker 3: So how do we make that night for him really comfortable?
• 33:31
  Speaker 3: Does that mean that there's an area where he can
• 33:33
  Speaker 3: just like have a little side drink and you're dancing
• 33:35
  Speaker 3: with the girls? Or does it mean that, you know,
• 33:39
  Speaker 3: he's just like, oh babe, I don't mind. Like, it's
• 33:40
  Speaker 3: just not for me. I'm happy to dance with you,
• 33:43
  Speaker 3: but like, I wouldn't have done this otherwise. So I
• 33:45
  Speaker 3: think when it comes to money and other people's opinions,
• 33:48
  Speaker 3: I think you can just say thank you. You don't
• 33:50
  Speaker 3: have to take it on board. Thanks. That's a really
• 33:53
  Speaker 3: great suggestion. popping it in the bin.
• 33:56
  Speaker 5: Absolutely i was just gonna say i feel like there's
• 33:58
  Speaker 5: two different like elements to our message right like there's
• 34:01
  Speaker 5: the you and your husband need to be on the
• 34:03
  Speaker 5: same page and then there's your family and i think
• 34:05
  Speaker 5: for your family and the external people we've said many
• 34:08
  Speaker 5: times before no money no problem like you're not paying
• 34:10
  Speaker 5: for the wedding you actually don't get an opinion i'm
• 34:12
  Speaker 5: so sorry and even if you are paying for the
• 34:14
  Speaker 5: wedding you know that's a debate in and of itself
• 34:17
  Speaker 5: but the what they say or what they want should
• 34:20
  Speaker 5: be completely irrelevant but I think that you and your
• 34:23
  Speaker 5: husband-to-be do need to be on the same page, though,
• 34:25
  Speaker 5: because as much as you go, well, this is my
• 34:27
  Speaker 5: big dream wedding, it sounds like it's not his and
• 34:31
  Speaker 5: it is also his day. And so I think you
• 34:33
  Speaker 5: need to sit down and come to a place where
• 34:35
  Speaker 5: you can compromise in a way that makes both of
• 34:38
  Speaker 5: you happy, exactly as Victoria was saying. You know, can
• 34:41
  Speaker 5: you create spaces for him where he doesn't need to
• 34:44
  Speaker 5: be the centre of attention, but will he still be
• 34:46
  Speaker 5: comfortable and be able to enjoy himself?
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: You more often than not, opposites attract.
• 34:52
  Speaker 5: And so it's about finding a middle ground where everybody
• 34:55
  Speaker 5: can enjoy their day, where everybody can feel comfortable with
• 34:58
  Speaker 5: the money being spent. And like Victoria was saying, making
• 35:01
  Speaker 5: sure that you're spending within your means as well, because
• 35:03
  Speaker 5: there's a difference between I guess your partner saying, oh,
• 35:08
  Speaker 5: like it's not a money value of mine to spend
• 35:10
  Speaker 5: that much money, which is also extremely fair and valid.
• 35:14
  Speaker 5: Like it is very reasonable for them to say.
• 35:16
  Speaker 3: I just don't see why we would spend this money
• 35:18
  Speaker 3: on this item, whether that's a wedding or a new
• 35:20
  Speaker 3: TV or whatever.
• 35:22
  Speaker 5: And again, then that's something that you guys need to come,
• 35:24
  Speaker 5: that we can't tell you what the answer is.
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: Do you make it smaller? Do you meet in the middle?
• 35:28
  Speaker 2: Do you find a way to earn the extra money?
• 35:30
  Speaker 5: What that looks like is so dependent on you guys,
• 35:33
  Speaker 5: your current financial position, your preferences, all these things that
• 35:36
  Speaker 5: we don't have information on. But I just wanted to
• 35:39
  Speaker 5: say that your partner's not wrong either. Like you need
• 35:43
  Speaker 5: to come to a middle space that's good for everybody.
• 35:45
  Speaker 5: And then as for people pleasing other people, I know
• 35:48
  Speaker 5: easier said than done, like the irony of me telling
• 35:50
  Speaker 5: you to ignore what other.
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: People say is not lost on me, but like, just
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: don't have to shut up. Yeah, I feel that deeply.
• 35:59
  Speaker 3: And I think if you and your husband can get
• 36:01
  Speaker 3: on the same page and go, hey, let's not even
• 36:04
  Speaker 3: talk about budget. We're getting married. Why are we getting married?
• 36:07
  Speaker 3: We love each other and we want to spend the
• 36:09
  Speaker 3: rest of our lives together.
• 36:11
  Speaker 2: Great.
• 36:11
  Speaker 3: No worries.
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: I would.
• 36:13
  Speaker 3: And like, this is what kind of happened with our
• 36:16
  Speaker 3: wedding as well. I sat down with my husband. He
• 36:18
  Speaker 3: like quote my husband on the party of the year. Okay.
• 36:23
  Speaker 3: I didn't, I enjoyed every other, like a little aspect
• 36:26
  Speaker 3: of our wedding, but I would have been very happy
• 36:28
  Speaker 3: if there were 20 people there. Like I didn't need
• 36:31
  Speaker 3: it to be big. In fact, if you looked at
• 36:32
  Speaker 3: our wedding list, more of Steve's friends came than of
• 36:36
  Speaker 3: my friends, because I have closer female friends and like
• 36:39
  Speaker 3: smaller circles of friends. My husband's involved in a soccer club.
• 36:44
  Speaker 3: I'm pretty sure we had to invite everyone from the
• 36:46
  Speaker 3: soccer club. That was very important to him. But like
• 36:49
  Speaker 3: we were very different in that aspect, but we were
• 36:51
  Speaker 3: very on the same page about, okay, well. If we
• 36:54
  Speaker 3: get married, why are we getting married?
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 36:56
  Speaker 3: Like who would we want there? That was really important
• 36:58
  Speaker 3: to us. And like, we both got that. Who would
• 37:02
  Speaker 3: we not want there? What would that look like? How
• 37:04
  Speaker 3: do we want people to feel? How do we want
• 37:06
  Speaker 3: to feel like the morning? And a good question that
• 37:08
  Speaker 3: we asked ourselves the morning after our wedding, how do
• 37:11
  Speaker 3: we want to feel? Oh, just so excited. We got
• 37:14
  Speaker 3: to see all of our favorite people. it had nothing
• 37:16
  Speaker 3: to do with, oh my God, I want someone to
• 37:18
  Speaker 3: compliment the flowers.
• 37:19
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 37:20
  Speaker 3: Like that was not it at all. And so I
• 37:22
  Speaker 3: think going back to the drawing board is really important
• 37:25
  Speaker 3: and having a clean and clear budget. You're going to
• 37:27
  Speaker 3: see me pivot back to my money conversation here. But-
• 37:31
  Speaker 3: your language, I think, also could change to help you
• 37:34
  Speaker 3: set boundaries. So instead of just quote Jessica Richie, just
• 37:37
  Speaker 3: tell them to shut up.
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: Probably not the best way to go about it.
• 37:40
  Speaker 3: Maybe not saying, oh, we can't afford that. Saying we
• 37:43
  Speaker 3: haven't put that into the budget and don't want to. Oh,
• 37:47
  Speaker 3: that's it.
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: Stop, stop, stop, stop.
• 37:48
  Speaker 3: But that is a different conversation than I can't afford it.
• 37:51
  Speaker 3: Because when you say I can't afford it, sometimes that
• 37:54
  Speaker 3: means I'd really like it, but I don't have the
• 37:56
  Speaker 3: money for it. and your family might be like, oh, well,
• 38:00
  Speaker 3: you need to live a little and get it from
• 38:01
  Speaker 3: somewhere else. Whereas when you say, we did our budget
• 38:05
  Speaker 3: and we didn't put that in the budget and we
• 38:07
  Speaker 3: don't want to, that's a pretty clear, like, I don't
• 38:10
  Speaker 3: value that.
• 38:10
  Speaker 2: It's not a priority.
• 38:11
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 38:12
  Speaker 3: And also, mum, if you really want Karen to come,
• 38:14
  Speaker 3: it's $ 350 a head. Yeah, you're paying for Karen, though.
• 38:18
  Speaker 6: Sorry.
• 38:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like, sorry, this is not a free event. It's
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: your wedding. It's your wedding. Totally. So it's not for them.
• 38:25
  Speaker 3: It's for you. Anyway, I could go on and on
• 38:27
  Speaker 3: about this for days. And if anyone ever wants to
• 38:29
  Speaker 3: talk more about my wedding.
• 38:30
  Speaker 2: I will happily, happily talk about it.
• 38:34
  Speaker 3: So we obviously took this to the community and we asked,
• 38:37
  Speaker 3: if you were planning a wedding today, what would you prioritize? 32%
• 38:41
  Speaker 3: of you said keeping costs low. 30% of you said
• 38:45
  Speaker 3: saving for future goals. So my home or families, etc. 21%
• 38:49
  Speaker 3: said the honeymoon and 17% said a big celebration with
• 38:53
  Speaker 3: loved ones. Beautiful.
• 38:55
  Speaker 2: Split across the board.
• 38:56
  Speaker 4: Yep.
• 38:56
  Speaker 3: And then we asked whose opinion should carry the most
• 38:59
  Speaker 3: weight when planning a wedding? Unsurprisingly, 91% of you said
• 39:05
  Speaker 3: you and your partners.
• 39:06
  Speaker 2: Oh, thank God.
• 39:07
  Speaker 3: So, like, I love this because, like, I think when
• 39:09
  Speaker 3: we say 91%, you go, wait, there's 9% of you
• 39:12
  Speaker 3: who think it's not you? 7% of you said those
• 39:16
  Speaker 3: who are paying for it.
• 39:17
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 39:18
  Speaker 3: Like if somebody else was paying for my wedding, I
• 39:22
  Speaker 3: will obviously take their opinions under consideration.
• 39:25
  Speaker 2: Take it under advisement, but also it's still your day. Yeah.
• 39:27
  Speaker 3: But so like, I think that's like a pay to play.
• 39:30
  Speaker 6: Model.
• 39:30
  Speaker 3: You get to play, you don't get to win.
• 39:33
  Speaker 5: But also influence is subject to how much you're contributing.
• 39:35
  Speaker 5: So you're contributing 10%, you're not dictating all the choices. No,
• 39:38
  Speaker 5: you just get to be told what that might be
• 39:41
  Speaker 5: contributing towards. 2% of you said it's a balance of
• 39:44
  Speaker 5: everyone's views.
• 39:47
  Speaker 2: Oh, okay. And 0% said immediate family should have some say. Well. Wow.
• 39:51
  Speaker 2: There you go. Okay. But isn't it funny?
• 39:54
  Speaker 3: This is like a People Please episode, but we all say, no, no,
• 39:59
  Speaker 3: they shouldn't. But then all of a sudden we've got
• 40:01
  Speaker 3: money dilemmas being like, my family say I have to
• 40:03
  Speaker 3: do this.
• 40:04
  Speaker 2: It's hard when you're in the moment.
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: I know.
• 40:06
  Speaker 2: Do you know what I mean?
• 40:06
  Speaker 5: It's well and good to know what you should say,
• 40:09
  Speaker 5: but if any People Please is out there, we'll know.
• 40:12
  Speaker 5: You get on the spot and you just go.
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: oh yeah, no, absolutely. That's so fine. Isn't it so bad?
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: And you might like role play it in the car
• 40:19
  Speaker 2: on the way there.
• 40:19
  Speaker 3: And you're like, I'm going to tell Jess, no, I'm
• 40:21
  Speaker 3: just going to say, so sorry, Jess, I don't have
• 40:23
  Speaker 3: that in the budget. And then Jess goes, you really
• 40:26
  Speaker 3: need it.
• 40:26
  Speaker 2: And I go, you're right.
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: I do.
• 40:28
  Speaker 2: I do. I do Jess.
• 40:30
  Speaker 5: I do.
• 40:30
  Speaker 3: Also, it made me think of something and I did
• 40:35
  Speaker 3: touch on it just before, and that was language being
• 40:38
  Speaker 3: really important. So like, During our wedding planning process, I
• 40:43
  Speaker 3: don't think a lot of people questioned me on not
• 40:46
  Speaker 3: having things because it wasn't ever financially communicated. So like,
• 40:51
  Speaker 3: for example, and I don't think anyone noticed this, we
• 40:54
  Speaker 3: didn't have a wedding cake. We had the dessert that
• 40:57
  Speaker 3: was included in the package and.
• 40:58
  Speaker 2: I was like, that's enough.
• 40:59
  Speaker 3: Like I'm not paying for an extra cake to come out,
• 41:02
  Speaker 3: you know, at the end and everyone has wedding cake,
• 41:04
  Speaker 3: which arguably, don't get me wrong, you might've had the
• 41:06
  Speaker 3: best wedding cake in the entire world, but cake is
• 41:09
  Speaker 3: not inherently better than apple crumble.
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: No.
• 41:11
  Speaker 3: True. And so we had apple crumble because that aligned
• 41:14
  Speaker 3: to our values. And when people were like, oh, where
• 41:16
  Speaker 3: are you getting your cake? I'd say, we don't want one.
• 41:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 41:19
  Speaker 3: That language- wasn't, oh, we can't afford one or we
• 41:24
  Speaker 3: haven't thought about it. Like I was quite clear, we
• 41:27
  Speaker 3: don't want one. And so people were like, okay, cool, Victoria.
• 41:30
  Speaker 3: So I think maybe having that background of having conviction
• 41:34
  Speaker 3: with your partner, you know, are you having a live band? Nah,
• 41:38
  Speaker 3: we want a DJ. Nah, we love this Spotify playlist
• 41:41
  Speaker 3: that we've made ourselves.
• 41:43
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 41:43
  Speaker 3: Like, sorry, if you've got conviction in what you're saying,
• 41:46
  Speaker 3: it's much harder to argue than, oh.
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: Live a little. That's so true. What do you mean
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: live a little?
• 41:51
  Speaker 3: I love the playlist I just made for my own
• 41:53
  Speaker 3: wedding on Spotify and I have complete control of that.
• 41:56
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 41:56
  Speaker 2: It's all my favorite songs.
• 41:57
  Speaker 4: I think it's also like some people really want the
• 42:00
  Speaker 4: satisfaction of knowing that they can show that they know
• 42:02
  Speaker 4: about something.
• 42:03
  Speaker 2: Like sometimes you're just like.
• 42:05
  Speaker 4: If you're going to Barbados and I had some random
• 42:08
  Speaker 4: knowledge about that, I would need you to know that
• 42:10
  Speaker 4: I know that somehow.
• 42:12
  Speaker 2: Me with money? Yeah, I made a whole podcast. Sharing
• 42:15
  Speaker 2: their opinion in some way.
• 42:16
  Speaker 3: If you've got money and I know about money, I
• 42:18
  Speaker 3: need to tell you the stuff about the money. Exactly.
• 42:22
  Speaker 6: And so.
• 42:23
  Speaker 4: Sometimes it's just if you say something like that where
• 42:25
  Speaker 4: it's like, no, I don't want a cake, then people
• 42:27
  Speaker 4: are like, oh, I'm satisfied knowing that you have thought
• 42:29
  Speaker 4: about cake and you don't need my extra two cents,
• 42:32
  Speaker 4: you know?
• 42:33
  Speaker 2: It didn't make sense. We also didn't do Bombonieres.
• 42:35
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 42:36
  Speaker 3: Oh, the so-so sugared almond.
• 42:39
  Speaker 2: Well, Bombonieres, is it anything that you take home?
• 42:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's kind of like, okay, maybe Jess is about
• 42:45
  Speaker 3: to trip me up because people that came to my
• 42:47
  Speaker 3: wedding did take stuff home. But I think this was smart.
• 42:51
  Speaker 3: So I just don't. I don't think anybody wanted a
• 42:55
  Speaker 3: candle on the table that said Victoria and Steve. I
• 43:00
  Speaker 3: just don't think they did. And no shade if you
• 43:03
  Speaker 3: really wanted to do custom candles, but like, I don't
• 43:06
  Speaker 3: think I want to spend my money on a tiny
• 43:08
  Speaker 3: candle that Jess is going to take home and be like, cool,
• 43:12
  Speaker 3: I feel bad throwing this out now.
• 43:14
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 43:15
  Speaker 3: But I did pay for our florist to come back
• 43:18
  Speaker 3: and wrap all of our flowers into bouquets for our
• 43:22
  Speaker 3: friends and family to take home. Because I could not comprehend.
• 43:26
  Speaker 3: One thing I learned during the wedding planning process was
• 43:29
  Speaker 3: that most people just throw out their flowers after, like
• 43:32
  Speaker 3: they style this venue beautifully with so many florals and then, well,
• 43:37
  Speaker 3: they're done. They're disposable.
• 43:38
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 43:40
  Speaker 5: Or you can take them, donate them to a local
• 43:42
  Speaker 5: hospital or an elderly home or somewhere like that, somewhere
• 43:45
  Speaker 5: they'll spread joy.
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: True.
• 43:47
  Speaker 5: But you have to think about it ahead of time.
• 43:49
  Speaker 5: And this is where the extra money comes in because
• 43:50
  Speaker 5: if you're sending it somewhere, how are you getting it there?
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's true.
• 43:53
  Speaker 3: And I promise you the day after your wedding, you
• 43:55
  Speaker 3: don't want to have to do like errands.
• 43:57
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 43:58
  Speaker 3: That's crazy work.
• 43:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's an all day of bed situation. I was
• 44:01
  Speaker 2: so hungover.
• 44:02
  Speaker 3: We did then ask, did your wedding end up being 47%?
• 44:08
  Speaker 3: Not married, but following along because I want answers. 37%
• 44:10
  Speaker 3: of you said, Exactly what we wanted. 12% said, Our
• 44:15
  Speaker 3: wedding was bigger than we had planned and 5% said
• 44:18
  Speaker 3: smaller than we had planned. I then obviously said, guys,
• 44:21
  Speaker 3: what is your two cents? Like, what do you think
• 44:23
  Speaker 3: about this? And overwhelmingly, people were like, they're not paying,
• 44:26
  Speaker 3: they're not playing. We then had other people suggesting things
• 44:30
  Speaker 3: like elopements. People along your route were saying maybe you
• 44:34
  Speaker 3: could find a perfect Airbnb to host the wedding. Another
• 44:38
  Speaker 3: person said, it's your day unless they're helping fund it.
• 44:41
  Speaker 3: They don't get a say. Another person said, just do
• 44:45
  Speaker 3: what makes you happy. I don't look back at my
• 44:47
  Speaker 3: wedding and think, OMG, we didn't have X.
• 44:52
  Speaker 5: That's really a good thing to say, like people who've
• 44:54
  Speaker 5: come out the other side. And like sound off in
• 44:56
  Speaker 5: the comments on Spotify if you can. Like if you
• 44:58
  Speaker 5: got married and you had to make a compromise, which
• 45:00
  Speaker 5: I think most people getting married do, do you really
• 45:03
  Speaker 5: look back and regret not having whatever you had to cut?
• 45:06
  Speaker 5: Or do you kind of just go, oh, like in
• 45:07
  Speaker 5: the scheme of the day, it was irrelevant?
• 45:09
  Speaker 3: And I feel like during the wedding process, you get
• 45:12
  Speaker 3: so caught up in like, you know, you talk to
• 45:14
  Speaker 3: a florist and they're like, this is the best. And
• 45:16
  Speaker 3: you go, yeah, that is the best. And then if
• 45:17
  Speaker 3: you go, oh, what could you do for this lower budget?
• 45:19
  Speaker 3: They go, oh, I don't know if I'd recommend it.
• 45:21
  Speaker 3: So you like push towards the higher budget and that
• 45:25
  Speaker 3: doesn't necessarily align with your values. There are lots of
• 45:28
  Speaker 3: people in our community who have actively said before, and
• 45:31
  Speaker 3: maybe we can put a thread in the Facebook group
• 45:33
  Speaker 3: to like further this conversation, but they've actively said, I
• 45:36
  Speaker 3: wish I didn't spend so much on my wedding.
• 45:37
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 45:38
  Speaker 3: And I think that that is really valid because it's
• 45:41
  Speaker 3: so easy to get caught up in it. And at
• 45:43
  Speaker 3: the end of the day, it is just one day,
• 45:46
  Speaker 3: but it is also your day to make all of
• 45:49
  Speaker 3: the decisions. And I think if you get too caught
• 45:51
  Speaker 3: up in other people's opinions or what social media is doing,
• 45:54
  Speaker 3: and like social media is cooked. Like how often do
• 45:58
  Speaker 3: you see a quote normal wedding on social media?
• 46:01
  Speaker 2: The amount, the extravagance and the pressure that then puts
• 46:04
  Speaker 2: on people is pretty crazy.
• 46:05
  Speaker 3: So that is actually not normal.
• 46:07
  Speaker 2: And that is not expected.
• 46:09
  Speaker 3: And I promise your friends and family just want to
• 46:11
  Speaker 3: be there to celebrate you and your love. And yeah,
• 46:15
  Speaker 3: closing in on that, the most talked about thing from
• 46:17
  Speaker 3: my wedding were never the things that we spent the
• 46:19
  Speaker 3: most money on.
• 46:20
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 46:21
  Speaker 3: People didn't care. Jess doesn't even remember them.
• 46:23
  Speaker 2: Couldn't tell you where the fork was.
• 46:24
  Speaker 3: And I am glad because that's not what our priority was. Anyway,
• 46:29
  Speaker 3: I think that that's a great place to wrap it.
• 46:31
  Speaker 3: I think it genuinely is about prioritizing you and your
• 46:35
  Speaker 3: partner and Thank you for tuning in for this episode
• 46:38
  Speaker 3: of Friday Drinks.
• 46:39
  Speaker 2: We hope this episode.
• 46:40
  Speaker 3: Has left you feeling empowered or at least validated in
• 46:43
  Speaker 3: prioritizing yourself for once. Please make sure that you are
• 46:47
  Speaker 3: subscribed so that you never miss an episode and next
• 46:49
  Speaker 3: week we'll be back with a fresh money diary plus
• 46:51
  Speaker 3: a juicy deep dive filled with the new financial goss
• 46:55
  Speaker 3: for the year. Until then, take care of each other
• 46:58
  Speaker 3: and have a great weekend.
• 47:00
  Speaker 2: Bye guys.
• 47:01
  Speaker 4: Bye.
• 47:05
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• 47:08
  Speaker 3: in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's
• 47:12
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• 47:15
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• 47:24
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