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Bless This Christ- Mess · She's On The Money

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Speaker 1: Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr
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Speaker 1: the Order Kerney Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before
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Speaker 1: we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I
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Speaker 1: would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land
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Speaker 1: of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country,
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Speaker 1: acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through.
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Speaker 1: As this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and
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Speaker 1: the storytelling of you to make a difference for today
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Speaker 1: and lasting impact for tomorrow.
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Speaker 2: Let's get into it.
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Speaker 3: She's on the Money, She's on the Money.
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Speaker 4: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
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Speaker 4: Millennials who want Financial Freedom. Today is Friday, which means
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Speaker 4: it's time to get the team together or as many
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Speaker 4: of us as we can find, and celebrate you the
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Speaker 4: incredible She's in the Money community. Today, all we sharing
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Speaker 4: my favorite money in Beck is going to be sharing
1:13
Speaker 4: her best broke tips, and we're going to be unpacking
1:16
Speaker 4: something that you slid into our DMS about which this
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Speaker 4: week is all about covering the cost of last minute
1:21
Speaker 4: wedding guest cancelations and that one got very very juicy,
1:26
Speaker 4: very quickly to stick around. If you're listening today knowing Victoria,
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Speaker 4: you sound so different or yes, you make that joke
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Speaker 4: every time Victoria is not here. Surprise Victoria is missing,
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Speaker 4: poor dol. She's got bronchitis, so she probably also doesn't
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Speaker 4: sound like Victoria either right now, sound like.
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Speaker 2: A weathered man, really raspy.
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Speaker 4: Yeah, little I love it when you have that like
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Speaker 4: last day of sick, little little bit.
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Speaker 2: Of oh my gosh, I love a bit of last
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Speaker 2: day of sick raspiness. Yeah, need to silver lining for sure. Yeah,
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Speaker 2: so she's that to look for to you. But sadly
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Speaker 2: she's not here. So Beck and I are holding down
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Speaker 2: the fort this week. But we hope you bear with
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Speaker 2: this and enjoy regardless.
2:07
Speaker 4: How is your week? Than it was really nice.
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Speaker 2: It's been really nice. As you know, as I was
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Speaker 2: mentioning off air, this week has been top of mine
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Speaker 2: right now is I'm trying to get jacked. So lots
2:18
Speaker 2: of gym love, lots of pub, lots of going out.
2:23
Speaker 2: I'm just living life. I'm a dream so excited, it's
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Speaker 2: almost Christmas. It's just good vibes all round. Yeah, great week,
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Speaker 2: and this is really insensitive for me because I know
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Speaker 2: your week already, adef oh no, I just I totally
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Speaker 2: forgot that. How was your week?
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Speaker 4: I don't even know how honest to be, I had
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Speaker 4: like the worst twenty four hours ever. I flattered my
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Speaker 4: house by my own fault. I left the bath running
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Speaker 4: because I was just doing a million things, and as
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Speaker 4: you guys know, I'm renting, so I felt extra just
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Speaker 4: terrible because it's not my house to ruin. Not that
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Speaker 4: you want to ruin any house, but like I feel
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Speaker 4: extra bad because it's not mine. So that happened. And
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Speaker 4: then the same day, my car battery stopped working, so
3:05
Speaker 4: I had to replace the car battery. Obviously, when I
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Speaker 4: flooded the house, I used every available piece of material
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Speaker 4: to mop up the water. It was, when I say it,
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Speaker 4: like I flooded the house like it, I did a
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Speaker 4: really good job of it, which the one time you'd
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Speaker 4: really preferred to do a shitty job or something, I
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Speaker 4: really nailed it. So I like every sheet, every towel,
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Speaker 4: every pillowcase, like anything that was made of fabric. Every
3:27
Speaker 4: blanket was on our floor. And so our bath tarby
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Speaker 4: is currently full of wet items that I need to
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Speaker 4: launder and then I was doing like my eighth float
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Speaker 4: of laundry for the day yesterday, and the washing machine
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Speaker 4: started leaking, so yes, that was going really well. And
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Speaker 4: then I broken ale just to really cap it off,
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Speaker 4: broken ail and ripped a dress. Was like, and this
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Speaker 4: is all in the space of twenty four hours, and
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Speaker 4: I just I can't take any more.
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Speaker 2: Like that is so weird. I want to know what
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Speaker 2: your co star is saying. What are your horoscopes saying,
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Speaker 2: Like maybe there's something in the air, Like why is
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Speaker 2: this all happening to your.
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Speaker 4: Own I don't know, but I feel like it's because
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Speaker 4: I'm an idiot, and I just it's been like this
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Speaker 4: all happened at the start of the week and it's
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Speaker 4: just colored the rest. And I know that, you know,
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Speaker 4: there are much worse things happening, and there are people
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Speaker 4: that have it so much worse than me. But I
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Speaker 4: found it really hard to pull my head out of
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Speaker 4: my ass a little bit and snap out of it.
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Speaker 4: And this is so silly. We had to take our
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Speaker 4: Christmas tree down because it was in the area that flooded.
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Speaker 4: And when I flooded everything, I was home alone, and
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Speaker 4: so my tactic was get everything out, so like em
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Speaker 4: deal the rooms, get all the furniture, everything off the
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Speaker 4: floors so I could mop everything really properly. And we
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Speaker 4: paid for someone obviously to come and do the best
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Speaker 4: as they could, and of course we obviously have spoken
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Speaker 4: to our property manager. Like this isn't a secret or anything,
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Speaker 4: but I got everything out. But I took down the
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Speaker 4: tree and I haven't put it back up because I
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Speaker 4: was like, well, presumably someone's gonna have to come repair
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Speaker 4: the floors, and I don't want to make their life
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Speaker 4: harder by having more stuff out, so I put it away.
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Speaker 4: And now I feel sad and enjoy of Christmas is
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Speaker 4: just gone a little bit. Like I I found it
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Speaker 4: really hard. If you follow me on Instagram, you would
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Speaker 4: know that I've been going hard on Christmas, Like I've
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Speaker 4: been decorating. I've been having lots of fun, living my
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Speaker 4: best life, and then like I took down the tree
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Speaker 4: and I just had this really really bad twenty four
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Speaker 4: hours and I've just gone. It's just it's like the mat.
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Speaker 2: I feel like the Grinch ye that my JIC is gone.
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Speaker 4: I feel really sad and really stressed, and very silly
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Speaker 4: for feeling sad and stressed and flooming my house. Like, ultimately,
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Speaker 4: I think my frustration stems from the fact that I
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Speaker 4: know that it's all my own fault. Sure, Like if
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Speaker 4: I just hadn't been stupid, Oh.
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Speaker 2: My gosh, it was so avoidable. Is that like a
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Speaker 2: hundred percent? Yeah? Yeah, I get you. I get you. Yeah,
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Speaker 2: there's no worse feeling when something is so inconvenient it
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Speaker 2: ruins several days of your life. Yeah, and you know
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Speaker 2: you could have avoided it. Wowow. But also like you
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Speaker 2: do put a lot of effort into Christmas decorations. I
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Speaker 2: mean it looks amazing, so I get it, and you're
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Speaker 2: so considerate for being like I'm going to have a
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Speaker 2: beer lound room, yeah, just in case someone needs to
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Speaker 2: come in.
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Speaker 4: And yeah, the house is very sad looking. That's okay.
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Speaker 2: All they say. Once you hit rock bottom, there's nowhere
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Speaker 2: to go but up.
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Speaker 4: Oh god, Well, if someone hasn't up for me right now,
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Speaker 4: I would love to hear it ro bottom.
6:15
Speaker 2: Yeah.
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Speaker 4: I was going to say, I don't know how much
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Speaker 4: worse it could get, but I need something would touch
6:18
Speaker 4: because I just well so, yeah, I don't know anyway,
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Speaker 4: moving right along, Yes, sorry for trouble dumping on the listener.
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Speaker 2: No, you're allowed.
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Speaker 4: This is a safe space, happy place. Let's talk about
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Speaker 4: some money wins.
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Speaker 2: Yes, good idea.
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Speaker 4: My first money in this week is a goody. It
6:35
Speaker 4: comes from Heather. She's feeling very on brand with you,
6:38
Speaker 4: very in sync with you this week, Beck, She said, Camart,
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Speaker 4: I've been donating to the gym aka not going because
6:44
Speaker 4: I'm a lazy girl who struggles to leave my house
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Speaker 4: to exercise. So I brought the gym to me. I
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Speaker 4: set up under my house and just watch YouTube workouts.
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Speaker 4: She's bought all of her little bits and pieces from Kmart.
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Speaker 4: She's got some weights and a matt and some other
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Speaker 4: things that I don't even know what you do with.
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Speaker 4: But good on new queen. And she said, this cost
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Speaker 4: me under one hundred dollars compared to forty dollars a
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Speaker 4: week for a membership that I wasn't even using. It's
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Speaker 4: super fun and I feel comfortable in my own home.
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Speaker 2: That's amazing. And came out have some really good like
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Speaker 2: exercise equipment.
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Speaker 4: Yeah, I have some weights and stuff from them, and
7:16
Speaker 4: they like cute pastoral colors and I mean.
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Speaker 2: Like a weight is away right, Like how totally?
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Speaker 4: But it's always a little bit nice, so when it's
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Speaker 4: pretty one hundred percent. Next, I've got a money in
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Speaker 4: from Chloe who said I tore a hole in my
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Speaker 4: jeans and instead of buying a new pair, I've bought
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Speaker 4: an iron on repair patch for five bucks from Spotlight.
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Speaker 4: The hole is not obvious at all, and I get
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Speaker 4: longer wear out of the jeans.
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Speaker 2: That is cool. And also those little patches, they're kind
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Speaker 2: of cool.
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Speaker 4: They're fine. You can get like smiley faced ones and stuff. Yeah,
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Speaker 4: I'm assuming she just got one that goes behind because
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Speaker 4: she said you can't even really see it, But I mean,
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Speaker 4: how good. And you spend so long breaking your jeans
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Speaker 4: in There is nothing worse than buying a brand new
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Speaker 4: pair of jeans when you've got your favorite one that yeah,
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Speaker 4: fity perfect and.
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Speaker 2: They're just fitting right.
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Speaker 1: Yeah.
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Speaker 2: But also holes are kind of in fashion. I don't know,
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Speaker 2: actually I don't know fashion.
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Speaker 4: But it depends where they are and it depends how
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Speaker 4: old you are.
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Speaker 2: That's true.
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Speaker 4: That's because if you are someone they made that joke,
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Speaker 4: how did you pay half pasty jeans because half of
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Speaker 4: them is missing?
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Speaker 2: Okay, that is boomer, but I really think it's kind
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Speaker 2: of funny. I appreciate that.
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Speaker 4: Rated top points from Beck. Next, I've got a money
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Speaker 4: win from Lisa, who said money win. I really wanted
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Speaker 4: a pedicure, but I didn't have time to go to
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Speaker 4: the foot in foot out, so I don't even know
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Speaker 4: what that sounds A collar, No, it's is the pedicurest place.
8:33
Speaker 4: But I don't really know what in the foot out me.
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Speaker 4: I've never had a pedicure. I'm educated. But she said instead,
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Speaker 4: her sweet seven year old daughter did her toes at
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Speaker 4: home for her. She saved some money and little miss
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Speaker 4: loved doing the painting.
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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, and she's probably training up to be
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Speaker 2: maybe her full time pedicurist.
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Speaker 4: Literally, get the girl some YouTube videos, basic tool and
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Speaker 4: put her to work.
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Speaker 2: What else are kids for?
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Speaker 4: Literally, you know what I mean, labor within the home.
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Speaker 2: You went home within the home, of course.
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Speaker 4: Next, I've got Natalie who said money win. During Black Friday,
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Speaker 4: I went on shop back just to have a look,
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Speaker 4: and I saw Expedia were doing thirteen percent cash back
9:13
Speaker 4: on hotel bookings. So I booked myself four nights in
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Speaker 4: London in a hotel I had previously looked at for
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Speaker 4: twelve hundred dollars. I got it on sale for six
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Speaker 4: hundred and ninety and I got thirty five dollars cash
9:24
Speaker 4: back chuching.
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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, go off coin. That is so good.
9:28
Speaker 4: I like the casual. I booked myself four nights in London.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's well worth it. If you get thirty
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Speaker 2: five bucks back.
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Speaker 4: That's it. And she got the thing half price as well,
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Speaker 4: so that sounds.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, that is actually really really cool.
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Speaker 4: Lastly, I've got a money win from Shelby, who said
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Speaker 4: I received this email from my real estate and I
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Speaker 4: was honestly so shocked that this happened. The money from
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Speaker 4: one week of my rent will pay my Airbnb for
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Speaker 4: my Melbourne troop to see Taylor Swift honestly so generous,
9:54
Speaker 4: and she's popped in a screenshot and this email from
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Speaker 4: her real estate agent says, guys, hope you've both been
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Speaker 4: doing well. The owner would like to gift you one
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Speaker 4: week of free rent for the Christmas period to say
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Speaker 4: thank you for being great tenants.
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Speaker 2: That is so nice.
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Speaker 4: How lovely is that? It's so nice, so thoughtful and
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Speaker 4: consider and obviously not everybody can do that, but if
10:15
Speaker 4: you are in the position too, what a lovely thoughtful
10:19
Speaker 4: thing and how nice to say thank you to your
10:21
Speaker 4: tenants for me and good tenants presumably not flooding your house.
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Speaker 2: Yes, ideally, ideally that is really lovely.
10:28
Speaker 4: That's everything that I've got this week.
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Speaker 2: Okay, Well, if you don't mind, may I share my
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Speaker 2: brogue tips? I would like nothing more. Okay, So this
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Speaker 2: week I have obviously two from the community, one from myself.
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Speaker 2: So the first one comes from Christy who has basically
10:42
Speaker 2: said that she found this really cool app. It's called
10:45
Speaker 2: half Price, and it basically just shows you everything that's
10:48
Speaker 2: half priced in woolies and coals in particular for the week,
10:51
Speaker 2: so you can just add them to the shopping list
10:54
Speaker 2: and go off. Just next time you're in the shops,
10:57
Speaker 2: before you go in, just sit in your car for
10:59
Speaker 2: a little while, go in half Price, see what's going on,
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Speaker 2: try and like plan your week out.
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Speaker 4: Yeah.
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Speaker 2: I just think that's the most convenient thing ever. Like,
11:07
Speaker 2: I had no idea this existed, So I'm absolutely going
11:10
Speaker 2: to download this as soon as we finish up here.
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Speaker 2: Half Price just in case you didn't get that. Okay.
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Speaker 2: The next one comes from Ebony. I really like this
11:18
Speaker 2: one because she's saying, like, obviously it was Black Friday
11:21
Speaker 2: sales not too long ago, and a lot of people
11:23
Speaker 2: are upgrading their televisions, their fridges. I don't know all
11:27
Speaker 2: their appliances and stuff. It is a little bit cheeky.
11:29
Speaker 2: So basically, instead of buying everything that is on sale,
11:34
Speaker 2: even if you need to upgrade your own home appliances,
11:37
Speaker 2: your TVs or whatever, other people are going to be
11:40
Speaker 2: selling those things when they upgrade. So what we're going
11:44
Speaker 2: to be doing is not buying anything in store. We're
11:49
Speaker 2: going to be going on Marketplace, on gum Tree, on
11:52
Speaker 2: all these other resale places and looking for people who
11:56
Speaker 2: are selling their still good, but now upgraded everything. I
12:03
Speaker 2: keep saying TV, but I'm talking about you know whatever,
12:05
Speaker 2: microwaves to people sell microwaves, I'm sure they do. Yeah,
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Speaker 2: put all the little things in your house so you
12:09
Speaker 2: feel like you need to upgrade, don't buy it brand new.
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Speaker 2: Wait for other people to do that for you and
12:15
Speaker 2: sell their own things.
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Speaker 4: Honestly, Yeah, absolutely, that's so smart. I have done that.
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Speaker 4: The vacuum now, I'm saying old vacuum, yes, exactly. Why
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Speaker 4: not pick up a bargain and you don't need the
12:26
Speaker 4: newest top of the line whatever, like an old grade
12:29
Speaker 4: is still just going.
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Speaker 2: From point A to point B totally.
12:33
Speaker 4: That is such a good tip.
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Speaker 2: Yes, and it's always you know, it's a little bit cheaper,
12:36
Speaker 2: it's a little bit more affordable whatever.
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Speaker 4: Just circular economy too, such a big fan of the
12:41
Speaker 4: circular economy.
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Speaker 2: Reduced through recycle exactly.
12:44
Speaker 4: Same. What about your broke tip?
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Speaker 2: So my broke tip. I don't know if you've heard
12:48
Speaker 2: about this, and I also don't know if it's just
12:49
Speaker 2: in Melbourne. I'm sure it's in other places as well,
12:52
Speaker 2: but here we have what's called rough trade. Have you
12:54
Speaker 2: heard about rough trade?
12:55
Speaker 4: No?
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Speaker 2: So it's this Facebook group. Try and check it out
12:59
Speaker 2: and see if you haven't a equi where you are,
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Speaker 2: maybe Sydney, wherever you are. But in Melbourne we do
13:03
Speaker 2: have a rough trade. And what I used to do
13:06
Speaker 2: is if I was like really broke one week, I
13:09
Speaker 2: would be like, okay, let me look around my house
13:11
Speaker 2: and I'm going to put up a random desk chair.
13:14
Speaker 2: What you can do is because sometimes if you actually
13:16
Speaker 2: sell that on marketplace, you don't get much money, maybe
13:18
Speaker 2: like ten twenty bucks whatever. It might not be actually
13:21
Speaker 2: worth anything, but you put it on rough trade. You say, hey, guys,
13:24
Speaker 2: here's an office chair I want to swap for soy milk, coffee, grinds, rice,
13:31
Speaker 2: And you go in and you basically say what you
13:34
Speaker 2: want to swap your whatever it is for, and you
13:38
Speaker 2: get it. So I've gotten so many things over my time.
13:40
Speaker 2: I've been like, oh my gosh, I like have to
13:42
Speaker 2: go to a dinner party tonight and I have no dessert,
13:46
Speaker 2: So I'm swapping my microwave for an entire krock and bush,
13:51
Speaker 2: you know what I mean. Like, you know, obviously that's
13:53
Speaker 2: like a crazy example, but really rough trade is so good.
13:56
Speaker 2: You might find people wanting to trade for nothing. They
13:59
Speaker 2: might be like, hey, guys, just take this off my hand,
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Speaker 2: I don't need it whatever. Same as like the free
14:03
Speaker 2: section in like gum Tree or Marketplace or whatever. But
14:06
Speaker 2: with this it's more, you know, you can actually use,
14:09
Speaker 2: you can actually see what you're getting out of it,
14:11
Speaker 2: you know. So I would recommend that if you're having
14:13
Speaker 2: a week where you literally just can't afford groceries, find
14:17
Speaker 2: something in your house that you want to trade for
14:19
Speaker 2: a bag of rice. Yeah, just something, you know what
14:21
Speaker 2: I mean. So trade in Melbourne. I'm sure there are
14:25
Speaker 2: equivalents elsewhere. I would recommend that just if you're going
14:28
Speaker 2: through a tough time and have some things around the
14:30
Speaker 2: house that you could get rid of, that's really cool.
14:32
Speaker 4: Does that exist on that page to people also trade skills?
14:35
Speaker 2: That's a very good question, because you could do.
14:38
Speaker 4: We're having this conversation in our friend group because my
14:40
Speaker 4: partner is a physio, and our friends will just be like, oh,
14:43
Speaker 4: like community exercises, and of course I'm always happy to
14:46
Speaker 4: but I was saying it works really well because like
14:48
Speaker 4: one of our other friends is a plumber, and I
14:50
Speaker 4: was like, well, when my toilet wasn't flushing, I was
14:52
Speaker 4: asking Daniel, how do I fix this? I didn't want
14:54
Speaker 4: to pay someone to come out, so it would be
14:55
Speaker 4: really cool if you could do the same thing. I
14:57
Speaker 4: don't know if on rough trade or even within your
14:59
Speaker 4: friendship group, it's like sharing skills, I think right now,
15:01
Speaker 4: when we're all super strapped for cash, being like, hey,
15:04
Speaker 4: like I need someone to come and replace all my
15:06
Speaker 4: light bulbs. I'll pay you in cookies or you know,
15:09
Speaker 4: I'll design a beautiful piece of artwork for you, because
15:12
Speaker 4: obviously you're an artist, so like I could trade you
15:14
Speaker 4: a piece of artwork for your help or something like that. Like,
15:17
Speaker 4: I feel like that if it doesn't exist, it would
15:19
Speaker 4: be very cool if it did exist.
15:21
Speaker 2: That is a great idea. I really think you're under something. Yeah,
15:24
Speaker 2: try to fill that up.
15:25
Speaker 4: Yeah, definitely, zero skills set, just a fun idea.
15:30
Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely. Yess that's a great idea.
15:33
Speaker 4: All right, Well, there we go.
15:34
Speaker 2: Let's go on a quick break and try and actually
15:37
Speaker 2: develop this app while where over a tea? Are you
15:39
Speaker 2: comfortable with that?
15:40
Speaker 4: Yeah, let's set a time. Be right back.
15:42
Speaker 2: Yeah, welcome back everyone. This week, we are skipping money
15:51
Speaker 2: Dilemma because I worry that it's maybe a little bit
15:53
Speaker 2: triggering for you considering the amount of money dilemmas you
15:58
Speaker 2: are currently going through. But we also thought maybe we'd
16:02
Speaker 2: just like wait for VD because I don't know she
16:05
Speaker 2: might be. I don't want I don't want to have fomo.
16:07
Speaker 2: We wanted to wig in. We wanted to wait in.
16:09
Speaker 2: You know, I think that leaves us with the DM,
16:12
Speaker 2: the juicy, juicy DM that I don't know about you.
16:15
Speaker 2: This is all I look forward to. Yes, let's go.
16:18
Speaker 4: There's lots to unpack this week. So our DM this
16:20
Speaker 4: week says, Hey, Tim, I have a dilemma fore you.
16:23
Speaker 4: I'm having an interstate wedding next week. I gave everyone
16:26
Speaker 4: a save the date one and a half years ago
16:29
Speaker 4: and formal invitations in January this year. Most people formerly
16:32
Speaker 4: a rsvped by July. It's now one week out from
16:35
Speaker 4: the wedding, and I have already given the confirmed numbers
16:38
Speaker 4: to the venue and paid the outstanding amount, which was
16:41
Speaker 4: eighteen six hundred dollars. Within the last week. Ten guests
16:46
Speaker 4: who had previously rsvped that they were coming have now canceled,
16:50
Speaker 4: citing that it's too expensive for them to travel into state,
16:53
Speaker 4: and I am scrambling to cover their seats. Otherwise I'm
16:56
Speaker 4: effectively wasting two thousand dollars. Is it reasonable to request
17:00
Speaker 4: that they cover these costs themselves? How do I ask
17:03
Speaker 4: them without sounding like an asshole?
17:06
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, this is a good one. Weddings are
17:09
Speaker 2: so expensive. Yeah, okay, so I guess. So she's not
17:13
Speaker 2: literally losing two thousand because she's already paid for it.
17:16
Speaker 2: But there will be literally ten seats that are not wasted. Yes,
17:20
Speaker 2: that is such a tough one, I would say. I
17:24
Speaker 2: guess it is on the people that are literally canceling
17:27
Speaker 2: like a week out. I feel like that's that's that's
17:29
Speaker 2: really not okay. That's quite rude. Even if the wedding
17:31
Speaker 2: was in state, how do I say that? Not interstate?
17:35
Speaker 2: In state, state at home, at home basically, but I like,
17:42
Speaker 2: I just don't think canceling that close to the wedding
17:45
Speaker 2: anywhere it is, no matter what the situation is, is
17:48
Speaker 2: ever really okay. It just doesn't feel good. It feels
17:51
Speaker 2: a little bit like, I don't know, you're really putting
17:53
Speaker 2: some people out. So, but requesting the money is a
17:57
Speaker 2: real tough one. Maybe just I would I would explain
18:00
Speaker 2: the situation to them and be like, hey, this is
18:01
Speaker 2: what's happened. Like a lot of people are canceling now
18:03
Speaker 2: because they can't afford it, which is totally fair. Would
18:06
Speaker 2: you be willing to just chip in? Or their wedding
18:09
Speaker 2: present might be one hundred bucks in a card or
18:12
Speaker 2: something like that, you know, but I guess because they
18:14
Speaker 2: can't afford to go into state, they might not be
18:15
Speaker 2: able to afford to chip in. So that's where we
18:19
Speaker 2: are left. I would just I would simply just ask
18:21
Speaker 2: the question. I would present them with my dilemma. Yeah,
18:23
Speaker 2: see what they say, yeah, you never know.
18:26
Speaker 4: Do you think that they would have known more than
18:28
Speaker 4: a week in advance that they weren't going to be
18:29
Speaker 4: able to afford to go on this trip?
18:30
Speaker 2: You would think so, Yeah.
18:32
Speaker 4: Because if they've RSVP'd, they got to save the day
18:34
Speaker 4: a year and a half, agothing year and a half
18:36
Speaker 4: that they potentially could have spent saving, and then RSVPs
18:40
Speaker 4: would you in July and we're now in almost or
18:44
Speaker 4: we are in December, Oh my gosh, we're in December. Whoa, Well,
18:49
Speaker 4: so they've had five or six months to save. Do
18:52
Speaker 4: you think at some point prior to the week before
18:55
Speaker 4: the wedding they probably could have gone, oh, it looks
18:57
Speaker 4: like it's not going to work financially.
19:00
Speaker 2: Probably unless they had a Jessica Ricky kind of night
19:04
Speaker 2: with flooding and everything disaster. But surely you you would everything,
19:07
Speaker 2: That's what.
19:08
Speaker 4: I was gonna say. Would not have booked your accommodation
19:10
Speaker 4: and your transport prior to like, you wouldn't be booking
19:13
Speaker 4: it the week before? Surely? Yeah?
19:16
Speaker 2: True, they probably did know purposely didn't book Yeah, and
19:20
Speaker 2: then a week out. Yeah, that's true. Actually that's kind
19:24
Speaker 2: of sneaky.
19:25
Speaker 4: I think it's the weak out thing that's bothering me
19:27
Speaker 4: because I can understand if you had rsvp'ed yes at
19:31
Speaker 4: the start of the year. Twelve months is a long time,
19:34
Speaker 4: you know. I understand that there is a financial burden
19:37
Speaker 4: to travel into state, but I also think, like, could
19:40
Speaker 4: you have started working into a budget and you're totally right,
19:42
Speaker 4: like as I have seen this week when things come
19:44
Speaker 4: up like unexpected expenses. People are only human. However, I
19:48
Speaker 4: would have thought that you would kind of be planning
19:51
Speaker 4: and preparing a lot sooner to the point where you
19:53
Speaker 4: would have known a lot sooner if it wasn't going
19:56
Speaker 4: to work. Yeah, And for ten it's not one person
19:59
Speaker 4: has bailed on this way and gone, oh, I'm so
20:00
Speaker 4: sorry my house flooded. I can't like I need to
20:03
Speaker 4: sell my flights or something.
20:05
Speaker 2: Ten people is a lot of people, Yes, So the
20:08
Speaker 2: chances of that kind of being everyone's same situation, it's
20:12
Speaker 2: kind of I'm like, if you got to a week
20:15
Speaker 2: out of a wedding, you realize you didn't have any money,
20:18
Speaker 2: maybe you flooded your apartment, maybe all these things came
20:21
Speaker 2: up and you had to cancel. Would you be willing
20:24
Speaker 2: to cover the cost of your own seat.
20:26
Speaker 4: I think so absolutely, Like when I like with not
20:28
Speaker 4: to make it all thatt me, but when I flooded
20:30
Speaker 4: the house, I said, we'll pay for the insurance excess,
20:32
Speaker 4: like that made sense.
20:34
Speaker 2: True. Well, if you couldn't afford to go over to
20:37
Speaker 2: go into state and you were actually like scrambling for money, like,
20:40
Speaker 2: would you still cover your seat?
20:42
Speaker 4: I think I would say. If I physically didn't have
20:44
Speaker 4: the money to give right now, I think I would say, Hey,
20:46
Speaker 4: I'm so sorry, Like this emergencies come up, I don't
20:49
Speaker 4: have the money to travel. I would love to cover
20:51
Speaker 4: my seat. Can I pay it back to you within
20:54
Speaker 4: the next three months? Or can I pay it back
20:56
Speaker 4: on an install a plan or as soon as I
20:57
Speaker 4: get back on my feet, can I pay it? Would
20:59
Speaker 4: be the first thing that I would want to say,
21:01
Speaker 4: because to me, I would want to be communicating to
21:03
Speaker 4: the person getting married. I don't want to put you out,
21:06
Speaker 4: like I understand that you've paid for me. I understand
21:08
Speaker 4: that this has happened. You know, I don't want to
21:11
Speaker 4: put you on the back foot because of my emergency.
21:14
Speaker 4: And whether or not I can cover that right now
21:16
Speaker 4: totally depends on your situation. But I think that there
21:19
Speaker 4: is an element of responsibility if you have committed to
21:22
Speaker 4: going to something, they've invested in it financially too. Yeah,
21:27
Speaker 4: and that's where I kind of I know it's hard
21:29
Speaker 4: because it's the bride and groom of chosen to get
21:30
Speaker 4: married in to state. But I think you had the
21:32
Speaker 4: opportunity to say no, You had the opportunity to say
21:34
Speaker 4: if it didn't come up last minute. I do think
21:36
Speaker 4: there is an element of responsibility on you to help
21:39
Speaker 4: with those like that financial situation.
21:42
Speaker 2: I do agree. I actually agree, But you were saying before,
21:45
Speaker 2: when you were just skimming through the responses, your mind
21:49
Speaker 2: kind of changed because right now I think we're both
21:52
Speaker 2: like the person canceling should be paying for this seat,
21:55
Speaker 2: whether it's now, whether it's later.
21:56
Speaker 4: Yes, all right, well let me tell you first. We
21:58
Speaker 4: did ask a couple of questions. He said, do you
22:00
Speaker 4: think the guests should have to cover the cost due
22:03
Speaker 4: to their late cancelation? Fifty one percent yes, because they
22:06
Speaker 4: aresvp'ed attending. Forty nine percent said no, they clearly don't
22:11
Speaker 4: have the money to pay, so almost a perfect split,
22:13
Speaker 4: which is okay. Then we said, if yes, would you
22:17
Speaker 4: take action and ask for the money seven percent said yes,
22:20
Speaker 4: I would ask for the cost of the entire seat.
22:23
Speaker 4: Twenty nine percent said yes, but I would just ask
22:26
Speaker 4: for a percentage of the cost. Sixty three percent said no,
22:30
Speaker 4: I would just accept it as a loss and move on. Okay. Next,
22:33
Speaker 4: we asked, if you were the guest who canceled late,
22:36
Speaker 4: would you be happy to pay back the cost of
22:38
Speaker 4: your seat? Fifty three percent said yes and forty seven
22:41
Speaker 4: percent said no, So again very close to an even
22:43
Speaker 4: Sapit close. Then we said, have you ever been invited
22:47
Speaker 4: to a destination wedding and had to say no due
22:49
Speaker 4: to the cost of travel and a com Fifty three
22:52
Speaker 4: percent said yes, forty seven percent said no, which is
22:54
Speaker 4: totally understandable. It is expensive to travel. And lastly, we said,
22:58
Speaker 4: if you said yes, how did the people having the
23:01
Speaker 4: wedding respond? Eighty six percent of people completely understood, ten
23:06
Speaker 4: percent of people said they were disappointed and expected to pay.
23:10
Speaker 4: Four percent of people said they were offered to cover
23:12
Speaker 4: the cost for them.
23:14
Speaker 2: Oh, that's nice.
23:15
Speaker 4: Which is very nice. And then we of course asked
23:18
Speaker 4: for your two cents and there was a really very
23:21
Speaker 4: much like the poll, responses were super duper split, kind
23:26
Speaker 4: of in one camp or the other. So let me
23:28
Speaker 4: read a couple to you. One person said, she's paying
23:31
Speaker 4: the same whether they come or didn't come. It's not
23:34
Speaker 4: going to cost her anything, so why should they have
23:36
Speaker 4: to pay, which is kind of what you said at
23:37
Speaker 4: the start.
23:38
Speaker 2: Yeah, I see.
23:39
Speaker 4: Someone else said, I don't understand why they have only
23:41
Speaker 4: worked out a week out that it's too expensive. It
23:44
Speaker 4: is so rude to cancel that late. If it was
23:46
Speaker 4: four months ago, it would be different. It's the timing
23:48
Speaker 4: of it. Yes, someone said, this is extremely late. The
23:52
Speaker 4: cancelation is the issue, no stress. If they were up
23:54
Speaker 4: front early. Someone else said, they chose to have a
23:57
Speaker 4: destination wedding. The responsibility is on them. It's a big
24:00
Speaker 4: ask for the people attending.
24:02
Speaker 2: But oh, they gave so much notice.
24:06
Speaker 4: That's for me a year and a half, assuming that
24:08
Speaker 4: they put in their save the date that it was
24:11
Speaker 4: going to be an inter stay wedding, which is a
24:13
Speaker 4: lot of time for somebody to prepare. Someone suggested that
24:16
Speaker 4: maybe they could invite more guests to cover the seats
24:19
Speaker 4: so that you're not awkwardly asking for the money. But
24:22
Speaker 4: you still have people filling in, so it kind of
24:24
Speaker 4: feels like a little bit of an even out, although
24:26
Speaker 4: if you got an invite to a wedding the week before,
24:28
Speaker 4: you'd probably know that you were a seat filler, which
24:29
Speaker 4: is again potentially a little bit awkward.
24:32
Speaker 2: Yeah, I see, I see.
24:34
Speaker 4: Someone else has made the point that maybe they could
24:36
Speaker 4: afford it previously, but with the cost of living going up,
24:39
Speaker 4: maybe they can't afford it anymore, although I do still
24:41
Speaker 4: kind of wonder when were they planning on booking their seat.
24:45
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the thing that keeps a current theme.
24:49
Speaker 5: Yeah.
24:49
Speaker 4: A couple of people made good suggestions on potential resolutions.
24:52
Speaker 4: One person said, I wouldn't be surprised if these guests
24:55
Speaker 4: still gave them a present. Isn't the gift exchange typically
24:59
Speaker 4: what you pay to cut the cost of your seat,
25:01
Speaker 4: So perhaps they will still give them the gift. Someone
25:04
Speaker 4: else said, I was curious to get my partner's thoughts
25:07
Speaker 4: on this. We both thought to suggest a cash gift
25:09
Speaker 4: contribution to the honeymoon house whatever's next in their absence
25:13
Speaker 4: kind of takes the edge off asking to pay for
25:15
Speaker 4: the seat outright, but can also be a choice of
25:17
Speaker 4: how much to contribute, and could easily be put towards
25:20
Speaker 4: covering the costs of the seat. What do you sit
25:22
Speaker 4: on wedding gifts actually.
25:24
Speaker 2: Because that's another yes, exactly. My My biggest gripe about
25:31
Speaker 2: people being in love is I don't want to be
25:36
Speaker 2: paying for Hen's party gifts. Maybe don't have to get
25:40
Speaker 2: a present for that, but you do have to pay
25:42
Speaker 2: your for your dinner. You to pay a big amount
25:44
Speaker 2: for like whatever you're doing that night. You have to
25:47
Speaker 2: pay for an engagement party gift, you have to pay
25:49
Speaker 2: for wedding gift. You have to pay for maybe a
25:51
Speaker 2: baby gift. So many presents. Yeah, and I just want
25:55
Speaker 2: to stick to birthday presents or Christmas presents. I don't
25:58
Speaker 2: like wedding gifts. Yeah, I get the idea. I don't
26:02
Speaker 2: like him. Sorry, hate it.
26:03
Speaker 4: I feel weird about cash. And I really understand. I
26:06
Speaker 4: understand the cat you know, people say, contribute to our
26:08
Speaker 4: wishing well or something like that. I understand that, you know,
26:11
Speaker 4: as the person throwing the wedding, you're probably like, well,
26:13
Speaker 4: I'd rather have the cash than a cash roll dish.
26:15
Speaker 4: And I understand that, but something about it feels very
26:19
Speaker 4: transactional to me.
26:20
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I always.
26:20
Speaker 4: Get really caught up because it's so clear the amount
26:24
Speaker 4: that you're giving as well, because if you buy a gift,
26:26
Speaker 4: maybe you can purchase something nice to get it on sale,
26:28
Speaker 4: or maybe you can make them something beautiful that's worth
26:31
Speaker 4: a lot emotionally but maybe not financially. Or there are
26:33
Speaker 4: all of these different options, but to me, it really
26:35
Speaker 4: feels a bit like cards on the table. I think
26:37
Speaker 4: your wedding is worth one hundred.
26:39
Speaker 2: Stolls, Yes, exactly.
26:41
Speaker 4: It feels a bit uncomfortable to this.
26:44
Speaker 2: I totally agree, and.
26:45
Speaker 4: It's hard in this situation because we don't know how Oh.
26:48
Speaker 4: I suppose you could do the math, actually, but these
26:50
Speaker 4: guests probably don't know exactly how much the seed is.
26:52
Speaker 4: So I think regardless, she's going to have to have
26:54
Speaker 4: a conversation with them in some way, shape or form,
26:57
Speaker 4: and I don't really know what the right way to
26:59
Speaker 4: approach that is. Someone did suggest checking out Deerman Skill
27:03
Speaker 4: demon Skill d ar M a M. Apparently it's a
27:07
Speaker 4: communication tool from therapy. This was sent in shockingly by
27:10
Speaker 4: a therapist and they said there's a great app called
27:13
Speaker 4: the Dime Game which can help them work out how
27:15
Speaker 4: assertively they should ask oh, which I don't know anything
27:20
Speaker 4: about what this is, but I do like the idea
27:23
Speaker 4: of kind of figuring out where to start the conversation
27:25
Speaker 4: because it is one of those things. I feel like
27:27
Speaker 4: you could come in a bit too hot, yes, especially
27:29
Speaker 4: if you're upset, which sounds a bit like our listener
27:31
Speaker 4: might be. If you come in all guns blazing, like, look,
27:34
Speaker 4: you're not coming to the wedding, pay for your seat.
27:36
Speaker 4: And there were a few people responding saying one of
27:39
Speaker 4: two ways, either you know, do you value this friendship
27:42
Speaker 4: is it worth getting into a fight over? Or people
27:45
Speaker 4: saying kick them to the curb girlfriends like they're clearly
27:48
Speaker 4: not a real friend.
27:48
Speaker 2: Keep ten friends to the curves. That's a decision, that's
27:52
Speaker 2: a big loss.
27:53
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's really hard.
27:55
Speaker 2: I think ideally the people who aren't coming anymore, they
27:58
Speaker 2: will give a hoefully cash gift that will contribute to
28:02
Speaker 2: the wedding, so she doesn't feel like she's missing out
28:04
Speaker 2: on too much. Maybe the seats will go unsat in,
28:09
Speaker 2: but she wouldn't have got that money back regardless, I imagine. Yeah,
28:13
Speaker 2: so they're they're not there, it all comes out in
28:16
Speaker 2: the wash. Hopefully she gets some cash gifts. Yeah, and
28:20
Speaker 2: everyone feels okay.
28:21
Speaker 4: Yeah, and maybe it is about having a nice conversation Yeah,
28:24
Speaker 4: communicating and saying I understand if you're having a hard
28:26
Speaker 4: time financially. I don't want to put any pressure on
28:28
Speaker 4: you. You know. I wish that you had been able to
28:31
Speaker 4: tell me sooner, because now I am out financially. I've
28:34
Speaker 4: spent two hundred dollars on your seat that will now
28:36
Speaker 4: be empty or something of the sort. And maybe that
28:38
Speaker 4: also will help to make them aware of the impact
28:41
Speaker 4: that they're having, because they might not realize that paid
28:44
Speaker 4: for their dinner and all of those kinds of things,
28:45
Speaker 4: and those costs add up very quickly.
28:47
Speaker 2: Absolutely, maybe that's the nice way to approach her. Yeah,
28:50
Speaker 2: think it's so true.
28:51
Speaker 4: I feel like that's all I've got to give today.
28:52
Speaker 4: What about you?
28:54
Speaker 2: I think same same. I feel very satisfied with this.
28:57
Speaker 4: Happy fray Ye. Everybody, don't forget we're doing our twelve
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Speaker 4: But otherwise, have the absolute best weekend and VD will
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Speaker 4: diary for you, Why guys see letter.
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