Latest / Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot / How You Stand Under Pressure 6/7: Why Rest Is Part of Strength

Transcript

How You Stand Under Pressure 6/7: Why Rest Is Part of Strength · Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot

• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: Greetings and blessings.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the sweet spot.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: It is self-care Saturday, and I'm delighted you're here with me on the sweet spot.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: Good morning, beautiful soul.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: Good afternoon or good evening wherever this message finds you.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you're well, and I want to declare that it is well with you.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: I want to declare that it's well with you, well with your body, well with your mind, well with your spirit, well with your soul.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: I am declaring that.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: A big part of standing under pressure is being in the right mindset, correct?
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: Amen.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: Alright then.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: So we have found ourselves in a series this week called How You Stand Under Pressure.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: Today is our very sixth episode of the seven that we were doing this week, and it's called Why Rest is Part of Strength.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: Why Rest is part of strength.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's so easy to think of rest as something you do and you earn after you've done all the strong work.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: But more and more, as I write about recovery and work with folks who are athletes and high performers, we see recovery as part of the strength that you have to have in order to endure and to propel yourself forward as a performer.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: Most people don't break down because they're weak.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: You know why they break down?
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: Because they've never let themselves recover from what they are doing.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: That's the idea, right?
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: They don't let themselves widen again.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: They narrow, they get narrow in their work and then they don't widen.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: So this week we've been talking about standing under pressure, having a wide, balanced stand, not escaping pressure, not trying to overpower pressure, but learning how to remain upright when things are heavy.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: We talked about stabilizing your stance on Monday.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: Remember making moves Monday?
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: That's so long ago.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: But yes, we talked about stabilizing your stance so that panic and anxiety don't make decisions for you.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: On Tuesday, we talked about taking one responsible step, making a pause, understanding that the sequence is really more important than the speed of your responses.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: Go back and listen to that one.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: That was Take Action Tuesday.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: On Wednesday, we spoke about belief holding up when confidence runs out the back door, when confidence shrinks, your beliefs, your deeply held positive beliefs, they don't back down.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: That was Win It All Wednesday.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: On Thursday, Trust Yourself Thursday, we talked about staying intact even after disappointment or betrayal.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: And yesterday, yesterday on Finish Strong Friday, we talked about finishing strong even when you're tired.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: Not by forcing it, but by protecting your alignment.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: Monday through Friday.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: We were looking at different strategies and ways to stand under pressure.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, today is not about doing more.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: It's about letting something come back to you.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: You know, pressure has a shape.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: It compresses you, it narrows how you breathe, it tightens how you think, it shrinks your sense of possibility until everything feels urgent.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: Everything is so close on you, so heavy on you, it jacks you up against the wall.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: And when pressure lasts too long, you don't just feel tired, you feel smaller than yourself.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: It shrinks you.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: And that's not a character flaw, that's your biology, that's human biology.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: The nervous system was designed for bursts of intensity, not endless pressure, not endless demand.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: When it never gets the signal that it's safe to soften, to breathe, to relax, to let go, it stays braced, it stays jacked up, it stays ready for a threat.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: The amygdala, remember our good friend the threat center, the amygdala stays on alert even when nothing is actively wrong.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's as if you think a lion is always around the corner to get you.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: And your body is preparing for that and acting like that.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: Your heart rate is up, your meaning your pulse is elevated, your blood vessels are tightened, your blood pressure might be a little bit up, your shoulders are all hunched, your jaw is tight, you're not even swallowing, you're not even breathing right.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: Your entire physiology, your nervous system, which was designed to have moments of recovery, just isn't able to recover.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing is actively wrong, but your mind, your worry, the anxiety, all of it, the pressure is so big.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: Rest.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: Rest is the signal.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: Rest is the signal your body needs to know that it's gonna be okay.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: Not collapse, not disengagement, not avoidance.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: Rest.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: Rest tells the body I don't have to defend right now.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's a conscious decision you're gonna make, that you're gonna rest.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: And when the body hears that, something subtle but very powerful happens.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: Your attention span, it widens again, things aren't so narrow.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: Your perspective on life, your ability to see different perspectives and balance different things, oh, that returns.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: And your belief, your hope, your faith, all of it has room to breathe again when you rest.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: This is why the ancient wisdom traditions talk so much about not striving so hard all the time, even in Buddhism.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not a Buddhist, but look, they got great teachings there.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: In Buddhism, strength is not endless effort, strength is knowing when to release effort so that clarity can re-emerge and you can make choices.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to stop pushing because you don't care.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: No, you stop pushing because pushing has stopped helping you.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: Scripture carries the same wisdom, the ancient wisdom of scripture is also speaking this.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: You know, in Matthew 11, it says this in the message Bible, not the KV, the KJV.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not doing KJV these days, I'm just doing the message Bible.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: I just want it real simple for me.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: Alright, I'm not the smart to do the KJV all the time.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: So in the message Bible, it says this, Matthew 11.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: Come to me, get away with me, and you'll recover your life.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: Come to me, get away with me, and you'll recover your life.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: I'll show you how to take a real rest.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: You gotta love this message Bible, it's just so straightforward.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't mince words.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: No, it doesn't have the poetic sort of beauty, you know, that the KJV does.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't have the grandeur of the KJV, but man, doesn't get to the point.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: Come to me, get away with me, and you'll recover your life.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: I'll show you how to take a real rest.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: Notice what God doesn't say here.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: He doesn't say try harder, he doesn't say be stronger.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: He says recover your life.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: Whoa.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: That recover word is important.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: It means returning to something that was already yours, not becoming someone new.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: Remember the series we did a couple of weeks ago.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to be a new you.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: This is not about fixing yourself, this is about coming back to yourself, coming back to the creation that was made by the most high.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: Thinking about who you truly are in the identity of Christ, right?
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: Let me make this real.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: I think of an athlete who has trained through pain, through pressure, through expectation, and all the pressure she's under when she makes this training and she's doing this training.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: You know what's important for her to have her timing be alright?
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: Is her rest.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: Rest is the moment timing returns for her.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: When the body remembers how to move without forcing, you become excellent at what you do.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: If you're living with illness or grief, rest is the moment that your nervous system stops scanning for what's next to survive and just exists for a while.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: It just sits there, it's resting, it's not trying to figure out what's hurting me next, what's coming next.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's a retreat for a moment to allow the cells and to allow the tissues and to allow the mind, body, spirit connection to do its thing.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're a caregiver, a parent, a professional who's always needed, that somebody's always calling you to solve something, to fix something.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: You have to be on duty all the time.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: Well, guess what?
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: Rest is the moment the resentment doesn't get to take root.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: That's when generosity feels possible again.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: That's when you can give.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: You can't give something you don't have.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: If you don't give yourself the rest, you don't give yourself the love, you don't give yourself the self-care if you're a caregiver and you're doing a lot of work, then you'll eventually run out of it, you'll eventually burn out, you'll you may even get resentful and be really unhappy and bitter and complaining.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: And part of it is that you're not resting.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: You've got to honor the rest because you are the caregiver, you are the one.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: So resting and recovering and re renewing yourself is a really important part of your energy and your strength.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's not what you do when you're done.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: That's the mistake I think that so many athletes, so many performers, and people in general make around rest.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: Rest is not what you do when you're done, it is what keeps you human while you're still in it.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: So today isn't about a checklist, it's about creating one small pocket where no demands are on you.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's a walk where you don't track anything on your your Apple uh your iPod or your or your um your Apple Watch or your whoop band or whatever.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: You're just gonna go for a walk and enjoy the walk.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's what I have in my hand right now: this cup of coffee that you actually taste the coffee.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: And by the way, my wife Darcell, she makes the best coffee.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's so hard to go out and drink coffee because I get really good coffee at home.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: I hope she's listening.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_00: So, yeah, maybe it's a cup of coffee you actually taste, that you actually slow down to taste what you're eating or drinking.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's music that isn't background noise to you, that you're really enjoying the beats.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: A moment where you've rested enough, so you're not working on bettering yourself, explaining something, improving something, preparing something, busy, busy, busy.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I'm talking about.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: Giving your nervous system, giving your nervous system a chance to just reset and recover and letting that be enough.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: Here's the truth.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: Pressure shrinks us.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: That's what pressure does.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: I I said it earlier, I'm gonna say it again.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: Pressure shrinks you.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: You know what restores you?
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: Recovery.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: Recovery widens you, recovery restores the width, and the width is where the belief is able to relax, to flourish, and soften itself back into trust, and where trust settles back into clarity as well, and where strength stops feeling forced.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: Rest is not the opposite of strength, it is actually how strength becomes available again, and you have to appreciate that you are designed to rest so that you can recover and that you can be renewed and that you can perform.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're down, if things aren't working right now, build some rest in.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_00: If you're angry and you're really upset about, build some rest in.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: If you don't know what to do, build some rest in, meditate, and you'll be surprised.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: Pray, rest.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_00: You'll be surprised how that sequence will bring you back online, how your prefrontal cortex, your your thinking brain, your CEO will help you if you'll only give yourself a chance to let go.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: So this is self-care Saturday, and you're in the sweet spot.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: Tomorrow, tomorrow is slowdown Sunday, and we'll step even further back to see your life, your pressure, and this entire week inside a much larger frame, a much bigger universal frame, and a bigger perspective.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: That's on the agenda as we close out this amazing series we've been involved in all week long about how to stand under pressure.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: And today's message about rest was the key.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: You're not broken, sweet winner.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_00: You're not broken down, sweet winner.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: You're not a loser, sweet winner.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing is gonna harm you, everything's gonna be okay, sweet winner.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: You are just compressed right now, and we need to widen again, and that's how we do it with a deep breath, with rest, with recovery, with renewal.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_00: That's what self-care sad is about.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_00: And it starts right now with you taking a deep breath, with a long exhale, with you taking five minutes to go outside and relax, with you turning off your cell phone for two minutes and giving your nervous system a bit of a break, with you listening to your favorite song.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: What's your favorite song?
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: When was the last time you did that?
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_00: With you picking up the phone and calling your dad or your mom or your sister, your brother, your niece, your nephew, and saying, I love you, with you looking in the mirror and saying, I love you.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_00: That's how it begins.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: Coming back to the self, giving it over so that you can be all new again.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_00: I'll see you tomorrow.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'm looking forward to seeing you.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_00: Please subscribe, please share.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_00: Everything is free here, there's no charge.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll talk to you tomorrow for slow down Sunday.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: Love and blessings, beautiful souls.