Latest / The Humanistic Leader Podcast- Dr. Craig Nathanson / Leave a Little Space: Finding Quiet on the Park Bench

Transcript

Leave a Little Space: Finding Quiet on the Park Bench · The Humanistic Leader Podcast- Dr. Craig Nathanson

• 0:00
  Welcome back. I'm really glad you're here. Let's spend a few quiet minutes together.
• 0:07
  As always, imagine we're sitting together on our favorite park bench. The morning is quiet.
• 0:15
  People are walking by. Some are heading to work. Some are walking their dogs.
• 0:22
  Some are talking. Some are staring at their phones. Everyone seems to be on their way to something.
• 0:30
  And for a few minutes, we're not. We're simply sitting, watching,
• 0:36
  breathing, leaving a little space.
• 0:40
  Lately, I've been thinking about, you know, empty space. Not empty space on
• 0:45
  your calendars, but, you know, empty space in our minds.
• 0:49
  We live in a world that encourages us to fill every quiet moment.
• 0:54
  Somewhere along the way, we began believing that every moment needs to be filled.
• 1:00
  I realized recently that, you know, I've been doing the same thing,
• 1:03
  not always with my phone, sometimes with my own thoughts.
• 1:09
  The moment life becomes quiet, my mind starts to think about the future,
• 1:14
  aging, my health, work, and the things that I can't control.
• 1:20
  And then something, something changed.
• 1:23
  As those familiar worries arrived, I quietly said to myself,
• 1:28
  those thoughts can wait.
• 1:30
  Not forever, just not right now.
• 1:35
  And the room became quiet again. Like many people, I have thoughts that come
• 1:40
  up every once in a while that, you know, cause anxiety.
• 1:44
  And I find that when I just simply sit and take a deep breath and reflect and
• 1:50
  stare at my surroundings, all of a sudden, all those anxieties seem to fade away.
• 1:56
  It's almost like anxiety leaves us alone when we start to change our focus.
• 2:04
  And it made me wonder how many of us have forgotten what quiet actually feels like.
• 2:11
  Silence is what happens when the noise stops.
• 2:15
  Quiet is what happens when our minds begin to settle.
• 2:20
  Some of the best moments in my life have happened in the space between things.
• 2:24
  Looking out the office window Walking slowly Just sitting on a bench Watching people,
• 2:35
  You know, when I'm sitting on a bench, my routine seems to change.
• 2:40
  It sort of forces me to think and to reflect.
• 2:44
  Not too long ago, I was in China teaching, and on my days off,
• 2:49
  I like to walk through the park there.
• 2:52
  And I was taking a walk, and of course, I started my Apple Watch to start my
• 2:57
  workout. I'm never quite sure because I never go back and look at the statistics,
• 3:01
  but by habit, I start the watch.
• 3:03
  And about halfway through the park, there's always this park bench that I always
• 3:07
  decide I'm going to sit on and I never miss it.
• 3:11
  And I sit on the watch, I sit on the park bench and a thought comes to mind,
• 3:16
  well, my Apple watch is going to go out of control because now,
• 3:20
  you know, it shows I'm sitting. And then I tell myself, just stay calm and who cares?
• 3:27
  And I forget about my Apple watch for a moment and I sit and I watch the world go by and it's nice.
• 3:34
  Sometimes our worries aren't the first voices to arrive.
• 3:39
  They're not always the wisest ones. If we stay on this bench a little longer,
• 3:43
  another voice often appears, a quieter one, a kinder one, the one that reminds
• 3:49
  us, you know, we're going to be okay.
• 3:51
  A few nights ago, I had one of those recurring dreams. You know,
• 3:55
  I'm back in a corporate cubicle, long commute, someone else deciding what tomorrow looks like.
• 4:03
  And then I wake up. I look around.
• 4:06
  I smile. Because that isn't my life anymore. I get to write. I get to teach.
• 4:13
  And I get to have conversations with you on the park bench, just like this one.
• 4:18
  Some days I take a walk at 11 a.m. In my past life, I would have felt very guilty
• 4:23
  being outside at 11 a.m. taking a walk.
• 4:26
  But now I take a walk When I feel like it No guilt,
• 4:32
  You know, some of the most important things in life don't happen because we work harder.
• 4:37
  They happen because we finally leave enough space for them to arrive.
• 4:43
  Ideas, peace, gratitude, creativity.
• 4:48
  Whispers need quiet.
• 4:50
  This week, I'll be taking a little vacation. It's rare for me.
• 4:55
  I almost felt like, wow, I'm going to be gone for a couple of weeks.
• 4:58
  Maybe I should record more episodes. And then I remembered today's lesson.
• 5:04
  Sometimes the next conversation can't be written today. It has to be live first.
• 5:10
  So this week, leave 10 minutes empty.
• 5:14
  When your worries arrive, just smile and quietly tell them those thoughts can wait.
• 5:21
  And then stay a little longer.
• 5:25
  You might discover that something much gentler Has been waiting beneath all
• 5:30
  the noise Thank you, really, for spending these few quiet minutes with me Until next time,
• 5:37
  take good care of yourself And don't be afraid to leave a little space between things.