Latest / She Rises with Ashy & Tijana / NAUGHTY TIJANA…. Her secrets revealed… $500k, a silver fox & stepping into her shoes 🫣😥💰😜

Transcript

NAUGHTY TIJANA…. Her secrets revealed… $500k, a silver fox & stepping into her shoes 🫣😥💰😜 · She Rises with Ashy & Tijana

0:05
Speaker 1: Apogee Production.
0:10
Speaker 2: Welcome to the She Rises Podcast. I'm Ashy and I'm Tiana.
0:14
Speaker 2: This podcast is about female empowerment.
0:16
Speaker 3: And encouraging you to be your biggest, boldest, and most
0:19
Speaker 3: authentic version of yourself.
0:21
Speaker 2: We help you shed the shame, grow to a new level.
0:23
Speaker 2: We're gonna laugh, cry, and talk about the topics everyone
0:26
Speaker 2: else is too afraid to talk about.
0:28
Speaker 3: Get ready for your next level of self.
0:32
Speaker 4: Hello everybody, I'm scared. Welcome back to She Rises.
0:36
Speaker 2: We've got Tiana Ashy and our producer Katie.
0:40
Speaker 1: It's Tiana that should be scared today.
0:42
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's true.
0:42
Speaker 2: I am a little scared. You guys know, when Katie
0:45
Speaker 2: steps into the studio, it's a mystery episode wow, which
0:50
Speaker 2: means we have no idea what she's gonna ask us,
0:52
Speaker 2: And it's always juicy, very nosy questions about us. But
0:56
Speaker 2: she kind of like puts herself in all of your
0:58
Speaker 2: guys shoes and thinks about the questions that she thinks
1:00
Speaker 2: you guys want to know. So they're juicy, Yeah, they're dramatic,
1:04
Speaker 2: they're deep.
1:05
Speaker 1: I'll start off fairly tame. I'll lull you into a
1:09
Speaker 1: full sense of security. Now, okay, So question number one
1:14
Speaker 1: for you, Tiana, is what is something about you that
1:17
Speaker 1: someone would never know?
1:19
Speaker 3: I feel like what most people wouldn't know about me
1:21
Speaker 3: is that I spent five years working in construction from
1:25
Speaker 3: fifteen to about twenty. I decided that I was going
1:28
Speaker 3: to follow suit my dad's footsteps family business, you know, builders,
1:32
Speaker 3: in construction, developing, and I ended up going and getting
1:36
Speaker 3: my carpentry trade. So I was in my carpentry trade
1:39
Speaker 3: for like three years and got qualified and yeah, I
1:42
Speaker 3: was doing that for like five years.
1:44
Speaker 2: Yeah.
1:44
Speaker 3: So I worked on site most of the time with
1:46
Speaker 3: like just me. My sisters also qualified trading as well,
1:49
Speaker 3: So it was like us to you on the job
1:51
Speaker 3: site full of men all the time, cat calls everything,
1:53
Speaker 3: you can name it, like people were doing it.
1:56
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh.
1:56
Speaker 2: I can't imagine you on a job site like a trade.
1:59
Speaker 4: She was a trade.
2:00
Speaker 1: Yoh did you wear high vis?
2:03
Speaker 3: No?
2:03
Speaker 2: At the time I didn't.
2:05
Speaker 3: They were residential jobs, so they were a little bit less,
2:07
Speaker 3: like huge on the pipe and things like that, so
2:09
Speaker 3: I had work it on, but they weren't like high
2:12
Speaker 3: vis like what you'd see on a commercial job site.
2:14
Speaker 4: Yeah.
2:15
Speaker 1: People when you like rocked up at people's houses, to
2:17
Speaker 1: do their Like, would work a TV cabinet, would I like,
2:22
Speaker 1: hang on for a second if someone ordered a striper?
2:24
Speaker 3: Yeah, honestly, Like, we did more jobs for my dad,
2:29
Speaker 3: so he was like building development sites at the time,
2:32
Speaker 3: so it wasn't necessarily like going to people's places. But
2:35
Speaker 3: what I did notice is that anyone who would deliver materials,
2:39
Speaker 3: any new workers, any young guys on the job especially,
2:42
Speaker 3: would be like double looking, triple looking, hey girls, like
2:46
Speaker 3: cat calling, whistling, that sort of thing, until that they
2:49
Speaker 3: would learn that we're like the boss's daughters, and then
2:52
Speaker 3: like things would stop, you know. But I think I
2:54
Speaker 3: got more of that when I was in tafe. When
2:57
Speaker 3: you're in the workshop where you're actually building, it's not
3:00
Speaker 3: just you and one class, it's you and three classes.
3:04
Speaker 3: I was the only girl of like me and like
3:07
Speaker 3: ninety young guys, and I remember walking into the tape
3:11
Speaker 3: classroom and I swear to god, I could hear like
3:14
Speaker 3: a pin drop, Like everyone's head turned, and I was like,
3:17
Speaker 3: oh shit, I'm gonna die.
3:18
Speaker 4: Yeah how scary? Yeah?
3:20
Speaker 1: Were you also a bit like Wow, I'm the only
3:23
Speaker 1: girl here. I've got the pick of this whole class.
3:28
Speaker 3: Who do I want I mean, I mean, I'm not
3:29
Speaker 3: gonna lie.
3:30
Speaker 2: I love the attention. Yeah, like Tasiana, she loves the attention.
3:35
Speaker 3: But it was more this energy of like I need
3:38
Speaker 3: to prove what I've got, you know, because it's like
3:41
Speaker 3: people are paying attention more than what they normally would,
3:44
Speaker 3: you know, And it's like people are probably though, yeah,
3:46
Speaker 3: people are probably wondering like or does she even do anything?
3:49
Speaker 3: Like people had asked me that. So you're a carpenter.
3:52
Speaker 3: Oh so you lay carpet and make these like little
3:54
Speaker 3: comments and jokes. So you actually like you build things,
3:57
Speaker 3: You build walls and frames and I'm like, yeah, like
4:00
Speaker 3: the foundation of a house.
4:01
Speaker 1: Yeah, wow, like the prettiest training.
4:06
Speaker 3: You And now I'm a princess, Like, don't ask me
4:09
Speaker 3: to hang anything, please, I.
4:10
Speaker 4: Don't want my hands. Daddy, my name's done.
4:12
Speaker 1: Yes, what's your worst quality?
4:15
Speaker 3: Oh?
4:16
Speaker 4: I don't reckon.
4:17
Speaker 2: She's going to answer this. Let's call your mom. Oh
4:19
Speaker 2: my god, No, let's call your sister. Let's call both,
4:22
Speaker 2: let's let's call both.
4:23
Speaker 4: Where's my phone?
4:24
Speaker 2: I don't tell them you're on a podcast, so okay,
4:26
Speaker 2: you just have to ask that speaker.
4:28
Speaker 3: Oh my god, my mom's going to say something unhinged.
4:30
Speaker 4: Just a really random question, be honest, be so honest.
4:33
Speaker 4: What's the question? What's your worst quality? Hello?
4:37
Speaker 2: Hey mom?
4:38
Speaker 4: Hello?
4:38
Speaker 2: What are you doing?
4:40
Speaker 3: Oh? I was just talking to Dan on FaceTime.
4:42
Speaker 2: Oh it's cute.
4:44
Speaker 3: I have a really random question for you. Can you
4:47
Speaker 3: tell me what you think my worst quality.
4:49
Speaker 4: Is your worst quality?
4:51
Speaker 3: Yeah? A, god, you would have to.
4:56
Speaker 4: Be You're annoying.
5:00
Speaker 2: I'm annoying. What do you mean when you you're always annoying?
5:05
Speaker 4: Take my answer?
5:06
Speaker 3: All right, thank you, mum?
5:07
Speaker 4: Bye? Okay, cool to see.
5:13
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I'm scared. She's so honest. Hallo, friend,
5:18
Speaker 2: I have a really random question for you.
5:20
Speaker 3: Okay, I would love to know what you think my worst.
5:24
Speaker 2: Quality is your worst quality?
5:26
Speaker 4: Yeah? I'm really bad of these questions. Fuck, I really
5:32
Speaker 4: can't think of one.
5:33
Speaker 3: You have too many, and I'm done.
5:40
Speaker 1: You can be really flaky.
5:45
Speaker 4: That's not really a quality.
5:46
Speaker 2: That counts though. Alright, I'll agree you light up.
5:49
Speaker 3: But that's so funny, the flakiness and then doesn't take no.
5:52
Speaker 2: For an answer. I feel like they're on different ends.
5:55
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, here's another question. What were your first thoughts
5:59
Speaker 1: of Ashy when you met her at the gym, and
6:01
Speaker 1: did you know anything about her before you met?
6:04
Speaker 3: Oh? I love this, So I loved the outfit that
6:07
Speaker 3: you were wearing. I remember starting the conversation with Ash
6:10
Speaker 3: and saying something like about her outfit, and then we
6:13
Speaker 3: just like got talking and I loved that. Like, obviously
6:16
Speaker 3: i'd like heard of your name, but I didn't recognize
6:19
Speaker 3: you when I met you. And then I realized once
6:21
Speaker 3: i'd like followed you on social media it would have
6:23
Speaker 3: been months later. I was like, oh, like I've heard
6:26
Speaker 3: of that name before. Yeah, so it was really interesting.
6:29
Speaker 3: But it was cool because I didn't know who you
6:31
Speaker 3: were or I didn't like come up to you being like,
6:33
Speaker 3: you know, let's fangirl or anything like that. I just
6:36
Speaker 3: was saying in another episode that like I started doing
6:39
Speaker 3: this thing where I was like, I'm just going to
6:40
Speaker 3: go up and speak to everyone that I possibly can't
6:43
Speaker 3: like get in the face of rejection. And yeah, when
6:45
Speaker 3: I saw Ashi, I was just like, she looks really
6:47
Speaker 3: good and I want to compliment her and I want
6:48
Speaker 3: to like let her know that, and then yeah, we
6:50
Speaker 3: just like spark the conversation.
6:52
Speaker 1: When you realized who she was, did you have any
6:55
Speaker 1: preconceived thoughts of what she might be like.
6:58
Speaker 3: No, because if you look at my account now, like
7:00
Speaker 3: I don't really follow anybody, like I follow like very
7:03
Speaker 3: minimal people and so preconceived notions, just being like once
7:06
Speaker 3: I saw her following, did I assume anything about her?
7:09
Speaker 3: I feel like I try not to have an opinion
7:11
Speaker 3: on people when I first meet them because I never
7:13
Speaker 3: want people to do that for me. And I just
7:16
Speaker 3: like went off our first interaction and I was like, oh,
7:18
Speaker 3: that was a really nice like conversation, and then we
7:21
Speaker 3: spoke a couple of different times and I was like,
7:23
Speaker 3: and it keeps feeling better.
7:25
Speaker 1: So you've talked previously on the podcast about bumping into
7:28
Speaker 1: Ashley a lot when you first became friends, so at
7:31
Speaker 1: the gym and then you bumped into each other at
7:33
Speaker 1: the movies. Were you stalking her?
7:35
Speaker 3: Absolutely?
7:38
Speaker 2: I just wanted to be close to her. To my friend,
7:42
Speaker 2: I like, where is this woman?
7:43
Speaker 4: I want to keep her?
7:45
Speaker 3: My answer is yes, and as I can see, I
7:48
Speaker 3: haven't left her side.
7:49
Speaker 4: Yeah, continues and no.
7:51
Speaker 3: It was so interesting because I think it was three times,
7:54
Speaker 3: so it was like we bumped into each other first
7:56
Speaker 3: when we had that conversation. Didn't see you for a while.
7:59
Speaker 3: It felt like a while ran into it the movies,
8:02
Speaker 3: and then not long after that I saw you again
8:05
Speaker 3: at the gym, and then that's when we passed each
8:07
Speaker 3: other and it was like oh hey, yeah, and then yeah,
8:11
Speaker 3: it was literally like I've been trying to find you
8:12
Speaker 3: on social media, like what's your social media account?
8:15
Speaker 2: Yeah?
8:15
Speaker 1: Yeah. How do you feel about coming in as a
8:17
Speaker 1: new co host on a show that was so established?
8:21
Speaker 4: That's a good question.
8:24
Speaker 3: I think like initially when we first had the conversation,
8:26
Speaker 3: I was just like straight away just like yeah, I
8:29
Speaker 3: mean I love doing this sort of stuff. But also
8:32
Speaker 3: in the same breath, it is scary. There's already an
8:34
Speaker 3: established audience. They already have connections with, you know, the
8:38
Speaker 3: initial co hosts, and that can be a scary thing
8:40
Speaker 3: because you in some way kind of have to like
8:43
Speaker 3: without like replacing, like fill somebody's shoes and also maintain
8:48
Speaker 3: the connection with the audience that are already there. And
8:50
Speaker 3: I think that in some ways, like there's pressure on that,
8:53
Speaker 3: you know, because it's like you want to do a
8:54
Speaker 3: good job and you want to you know, also be
8:57
Speaker 3: liked and you know, have accepted a real connection with
9:00
Speaker 3: the audience as well, and you like want to uphold
9:03
Speaker 3: that standard not only for the audidience, for us and
9:06
Speaker 3: for you and you know, everyone involved in the podcast.
9:09
Speaker 3: So initially I had this thought, like, and I spoke
9:12
Speaker 3: to Ashley about this, where I was like, oh my god,
9:14
Speaker 3: what if people don't like me? Like, I'm fucking terrified,
9:17
Speaker 3: you know, because it's you do when.
9:19
Speaker 2: You put yourself out there to be seen.
9:20
Speaker 3: You don't get to control how people judge you and
9:23
Speaker 3: what assumptions they might make up about you and things
9:25
Speaker 3: like that. So being okay with whatever does happen, and
9:29
Speaker 3: knowing that potentially that could happen and they are going
9:32
Speaker 3: to be people who maybe don't like me and that's okay,
9:34
Speaker 3: but also knowing that, like, maybe there will be people
9:37
Speaker 3: that will love me and what we bring to the
9:39
Speaker 3: table together and what the new podcast is about. So yeah,
9:43
Speaker 3: there definitely was pressure. But I think also in saying that,
9:48
Speaker 3: what's the point of doing anything if you're not willing
9:49
Speaker 3: to overcome the fear?
9:51
Speaker 4: You know, such a beautiful.
9:52
Speaker 2: Thing and what we bring doesn't take away what I
9:54
Speaker 2: had with co hosts all of you. The conversations are
9:58
Speaker 2: amazing and beautiful and the experience is cool. It's just
10:00
Speaker 2: very different, very different human Yeah.
10:03
Speaker 3: And our dynamic would be different.
10:04
Speaker 4: To what yours was so different.
10:07
Speaker 3: You know, And it doesn't take away from the last
10:09
Speaker 3: two years of your podcast. You would have had beautiful
10:11
Speaker 3: conversations and spoken about it's had so many beautiful memories
10:15
Speaker 3: as well, you know, And it's just like one beautiful
10:17
Speaker 3: thing doesn't have to take away from another beautiful at all.
10:20
Speaker 2: Like it is scary though, like stepping into something, especially
10:22
Speaker 2: I suppose because you've had a little taste and seeing
10:26
Speaker 2: what can happen when trolls come on board, Like it's
10:29
Speaker 2: not fun. Yeah, I'm pretty resilient, but it's not fun.
10:32
Speaker 3: I'm grateful to have witnessed you in a little bit
10:36
Speaker 3: of that and to just see the way that you
10:37
Speaker 3: hold yourself throughout that speaks volumes to your character, you know,
10:41
Speaker 3: does the fear that I have of like being seen
10:44
Speaker 3: or judged or ridiculed, or people making assumptions about me
10:47
Speaker 3: worth like me putting out into the world what I
10:50
Speaker 3: know can help other people, you know, and help women
10:53
Speaker 3: on their journey of like self discovery and connection and
10:56
Speaker 3: finding themselves and community and like showcasing what we want
11:00
Speaker 3: this podcast to be about and giving other women hope
11:04
Speaker 3: and permission that they get to have that too.
11:06
Speaker 2: There's spears for all of us, but it's so quickly
11:09
Speaker 2: overridden with like excitement, and we know what we want
11:12
Speaker 2: to do here, and we're not gonna let anything or
11:15
Speaker 2: anyone or fucking Karen Underscore nineteen eighty nine get in
11:19
Speaker 2: the way of what we're doing.
11:20
Speaker 3: You know, Yeah, one person who says something negative, but
11:22
Speaker 3: like eleven people who say something positive and impact their
11:25
Speaker 3: life forever, like that is like invaluable. I can put
11:29
Speaker 3: myself in the front of things like this so that
11:33
Speaker 3: I can become the woman I want to be and
11:35
Speaker 3: also help others become the woman that they want to
11:36
Speaker 3: become too.
11:37
Speaker 1: So cool, you've kind of answered my next question, because
11:40
Speaker 1: my next question was do you worry about trolls? Do
11:42
Speaker 1: you worry that as She's gonna drag you into a
11:44
Speaker 1: world of cybervilion?
11:48
Speaker 4: No, I don't.
11:49
Speaker 3: You know, it doesn't matter what is said. I know
11:52
Speaker 3: who you are, and I know who I am, and
11:54
Speaker 3: I know that people's words don't hold weight unless you
11:57
Speaker 3: give them power. And so no, I don't think that
12:01
Speaker 3: I think I'm putting myself in a position where I'm
12:04
Speaker 3: choosing to be here with you guys on this podcast
12:07
Speaker 3: a part of this journey, which also has risk of
12:10
Speaker 3: being exposed to things like that. So I don't blame
12:13
Speaker 3: ashy or don't feel like I'm being forced into anything.
12:15
Speaker 3: It's a choice that I'm making and I'm willing to
12:18
Speaker 3: do that because i know the benefit of what we're
12:20
Speaker 3: going to be able to create, and that excites me.
12:22
Speaker 3: That trumps any fear that I have of being like
12:26
Speaker 3: somebody's gonna have something nasty to say about me. You
12:28
Speaker 3: take the good vi the bad, like you know, you
12:30
Speaker 3: can't just have all one thing, expect to have both
12:33
Speaker 3: and you maybe will be okay.
12:34
Speaker 2: And I think the cool thing with this podcast is
12:37
Speaker 2: like people don't realize it's not just me and you here,
12:38
Speaker 2: but we have the support of you and Jay, and
12:40
Speaker 2: I know that's really helped me in some tricky moments
12:43
Speaker 2: where I've coped, p had It's just like when you've
12:44
Speaker 2: got that solid support system around you, they give you
12:46
Speaker 2: the strength and confidence and remind you why you're here.
12:49
Speaker 4: Yea, And over time that does just dissolve and go away.
12:51
Speaker 2: And it's a storm like things can feel heavy one
12:54
Speaker 2: day and then it passes through, Yeah, and you move on.
12:56
Speaker 4: Yeah.
12:56
Speaker 2: You know, we've got each other and that holds a
12:59
Speaker 2: lot of weight. And the right people can see who
13:01
Speaker 2: you are. Yeah, I can see what you're doing.
13:02
Speaker 3: Yeah, you don't have to like prove your self to
13:05
Speaker 3: the people who know you are, because your actions speak
13:07
Speaker 3: so much louder than words. Anyway, I think that speaks
13:10
Speaker 3: more volumes of somebody's character than anything.
13:13
Speaker 1: Yeah, I do have your back despite these questions.
13:18
Speaker 3: Shaking in my boots.
13:20
Speaker 1: You talked in a previous episode about a sex tape
13:22
Speaker 1: being sent out without your consent. Was there a part
13:26
Speaker 1: of you that thought about how successful it became for
13:29
Speaker 1: Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton?
13:30
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I did not think. I did not
13:33
Speaker 2: know that question was going to get well, Oh my gosh,
13:37
Speaker 2: it's so funny.
13:38
Speaker 3: I mean, initially I felt like really like impure, like
13:42
Speaker 3: something was stripped away from me. My innocence almost was
13:46
Speaker 3: like taken away from me. You know. It felt like
13:48
Speaker 3: something that was so private and intimate was like no
13:51
Speaker 3: longer mine to be special and you know, something that
13:54
Speaker 3: you would share with somebody that you love. It was
13:56
Speaker 3: like all these people that I didn't even know their
13:58
Speaker 3: names watching videos of me, you know. And I think
14:01
Speaker 3: that was really hard to overcome because it I haven't
14:04
Speaker 3: told many people this, told you this ashly, but like
14:06
Speaker 3: it took me probably like a good three years to
14:09
Speaker 3: actually be able to like self pleasure after that experience
14:12
Speaker 3: because I was so shut down. I shut down my sexuality.
14:15
Speaker 3: I was like, you're not allowed to do this, You're
14:17
Speaker 3: not allowed to see anybody, You're not allowed to be intimate,
14:19
Speaker 3: you aren't deserving a pleasure, like all of these judgments
14:22
Speaker 3: on myself. And I literally didn't self pleasure or do
14:25
Speaker 3: any of those things for literally like three years because
14:27
Speaker 3: it was just so cut off from myself. And then
14:30
Speaker 3: to switch tunes to the Kim Kardashian thing. Honestly, I
14:34
Speaker 3: used to think, well, at least if I get fucking
14:36
Speaker 3: famous from it, it'll be alright. If I can get
14:38
Speaker 3: something from it, it'd be fine. You know, I launch
14:40
Speaker 3: of product or do something with it, like at least
14:42
Speaker 3: like that would be fine, Like you wouldn't mind becoming
14:44
Speaker 3: a billionaire, like you know what I mean. But also
14:47
Speaker 3: I did a speaking event like a couple of months ago,
14:50
Speaker 3: and that was the joke that I put in there.
14:51
Speaker 3: It was like, you know, well, I kind of always
14:54
Speaker 3: wanted to be famous like Kim Kardashian, but I didn't
14:56
Speaker 3: quite think it would turn out like this, you know.
14:59
Speaker 3: And it was like, you've got to be able to
15:00
Speaker 3: make light of situation. And I can now, I definitely
15:04
Speaker 3: can now, but before no, but it just brings light
15:07
Speaker 3: to the situation. I think, not being so serious about
15:10
Speaker 3: life and bringing play to everything that you experienced, whether good, bad,
15:14
Speaker 3: heavy or not. Like, once you've gone through it, okay,
15:16
Speaker 3: once you've gone through and you're on the other side,
15:18
Speaker 3: you're like, oh, cool, Like I can joke about those
15:19
Speaker 3: things because it doesn't carry as much weight anymore.
15:23
Speaker 1: Did your parents know about it?
15:24
Speaker 3: Yeah, so I told my parents straight away, so as
15:27
Speaker 3: soon as it happened, and that's what I was saying
15:28
Speaker 3: to Ashley. I was terrified of like telling my dad
15:31
Speaker 3: because I was just like, how am I supposed to
15:33
Speaker 3: tell my dad that his youngest girl of four girls
15:38
Speaker 3: has literally had a man release a sex tape of her.
15:40
Speaker 3: The fucking judgment and shame that like ran through my body.
15:44
Speaker 3: I was like, but I'm Daddy's little girl, like you know,
15:47
Speaker 3: and I was so terrified of that. But he's always
15:49
Speaker 3: been somebody who has always had a really positive outlook
15:52
Speaker 3: on life and mindset and very like, it doesn't define you,
15:55
Speaker 3: This doesn't mean anything about what you want for yourself
15:58
Speaker 3: in your future, and you're gonna be okay. I was
16:00
Speaker 3: really grateful that I never really felt judgment from my
16:03
Speaker 3: parents around that.
16:04
Speaker 4: It's beautiful. Man.
16:05
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's such a hard conversation.
16:08
Speaker 2: Honestly, I was mortified.
16:10
Speaker 3: And then like the process of having to go into
16:13
Speaker 3: the police station with them, with my mom and my
16:15
Speaker 3: dad tell my statement in front of them, I was like, oh, fuck,
16:19
Speaker 3: this is the worst, Like, you know, like what is
16:23
Speaker 3: my dad thinking, Oh, well done.
16:25
Speaker 4: To get through that.
16:26
Speaker 1: You've previously spoken about not wanting kids. Why and what's changed?
16:32
Speaker 2: My silver fox?
16:35
Speaker 3: I'm just kidding truthfully, vulnerably, my mom, like my mom
16:39
Speaker 3: and my dad, like they had five kids, and they
16:41
Speaker 3: were so good, like so good to us. They did
16:43
Speaker 3: everything for us. They always made sure that we, you know,
16:46
Speaker 3: had everything that we called and did the best that
16:48
Speaker 3: they called at every level of where they were at.
16:50
Speaker 3: And you know my mom, you know, she had five kids.
16:53
Speaker 3: It was her sole responsibility while my dad worked a lot.
16:56
Speaker 3: And I think I just growing up, I always heard
16:59
Speaker 3: a lot of things of my mom's real experience of
17:01
Speaker 3: like how hard it was for her and how she
17:03
Speaker 3: didn't really have, you know, anything outside of being a
17:06
Speaker 3: mom because she didn't have the time and she had
17:08
Speaker 3: five children to look after, and my dad was providing
17:11
Speaker 3: for the family, like he couldn't be at home a
17:13
Speaker 3: lot of the time, so it was her sole responsibility.
17:15
Speaker 3: And so I think what I saw growing up was
17:18
Speaker 3: that she didn't have a lot of time and space
17:20
Speaker 3: for herself, and that meant potentially losing herself in motherhood
17:26
Speaker 3: and not having anything outside of that. And that really
17:29
Speaker 3: terrified me because I always thought, like, you know, am
17:32
Speaker 3: I too selfish to want to have kids? I do
17:35
Speaker 3: what I want, when I want, when I want to
17:37
Speaker 3: do it, that sort of thing. And I was like,
17:38
Speaker 3: I couldn't imagine what that would feel like, not having
17:41
Speaker 3: those things and not being able to do that, and
17:43
Speaker 3: it scared me, and I was just like, fuck, like,
17:45
Speaker 3: maybe I'm too selfish to be a mom more. I
17:48
Speaker 3: remember saying this to myself, maybe I'm not maternal enough
17:51
Speaker 3: or nurturing enough to you know, want that for myself.
17:55
Speaker 3: You know. Along the way, I've always been in this
17:57
Speaker 3: like I don't know energy where I've been like yes, no, maybe.
18:01
Speaker 4: I don't know.
18:01
Speaker 3: I'm not sure, like just on this I don't know train.
18:04
Speaker 3: And then I met the man that I'm seeing now,
18:06
Speaker 3: and you know, we have like a fair bit of
18:08
Speaker 3: like a bit of an age gap, and he's just
18:10
Speaker 3: the safest, most beautiful, intelligent, like emotionally intelligent man, and
18:17
Speaker 3: he's so drooped just all the things, and he just
18:19
Speaker 3: makes me feel really safe. And that's been a big
18:22
Speaker 3: thing for me in relationships and noticing being and wanting
18:27
Speaker 3: to spend time with him. The more that I spend
18:29
Speaker 3: time with him, the more I have these little moments
18:31
Speaker 3: where I'm like, oh, that could be nice, or like
18:33
Speaker 3: I wonder what it would be like to experience like
18:35
Speaker 3: falling pregnant, or like being in a delivery room, or
18:38
Speaker 3: you know, even like getting married and stuff like that.
18:40
Speaker 3: Like I'm you know, not obviously unmarried and haven't had
18:43
Speaker 3: that experience yet. So with the evidence of a man
18:47
Speaker 3: who embodies the qualities that I would want for myself
18:50
Speaker 3: and that I would you know, want my daughters to
18:52
Speaker 3: have as a dad, I'm like, oh, wow, I wonder
18:55
Speaker 3: what that experience would be like with him.
18:57
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's beautiful.
18:59
Speaker 3: Yes, which is a scary fucking thought to have.
19:04
Speaker 2: I'm like, did I just say that out loud?
19:07
Speaker 1: That is beautiful and I'm really happy for you. But
19:10
Speaker 1: he's sixteen years older, so is he rich?
19:13
Speaker 3: Ah? Okay, oh my god, stop it. I do feel
19:18
Speaker 3: very well provided. And I don't just mean provided for,
19:22
Speaker 3: I don't mean like necessary.
19:23
Speaker 2: She means yes, she's like beating around the bushes and tea.
19:27
Speaker 3: I just like he's very driven, successful businessman, Like he
19:31
Speaker 3: knows what he's moving towards, and he's very sure of
19:33
Speaker 3: what he wants, including me. And yeah, when I'm with him,
19:38
Speaker 3: I can just like soften my feminine side comes out
19:42
Speaker 3: and just like provide emotional and mental safety.
19:44
Speaker 2: And I think we've had conversations around this too. It's
19:47
Speaker 2: like the judgment that comes with like, oh is he wealthy?
19:50
Speaker 2: It's like I get it, ham gold digger or whatever.
19:53
Speaker 2: But it's a conversation we have of like the importance
19:55
Speaker 2: of actually wanting to be softer and being taken care of.
19:58
Speaker 2: That is not a bad thing. Yeah, I can be
20:01
Speaker 2: independent of my own money. I'd be so fine on
20:04
Speaker 2: my own Yeah, I want to. Yeah, I like it
20:06
Speaker 2: when takes care of me. Yes, you know, yeah, I
20:09
Speaker 2: know that he can protect me and provide for me.
20:11
Speaker 2: I definitely could do it my own. But like that's beautiful,
20:14
Speaker 2: and it's like polarity. Like they're made and they're wired
20:17
Speaker 2: to protect and provide for us, and we're made and
20:19
Speaker 2: wired to nurture them and love on them and create
20:21
Speaker 2: the home. You know, it feels good for both of us.
20:24
Speaker 2: It's so funny.
20:25
Speaker 3: I love that you brought that up with such a
20:27
Speaker 3: beautiful conversation to have, because I remember going through this
20:29
Speaker 3: phase where I was in this mentality of like, oh,
20:31
Speaker 3: I don't need a man, I'm just so independent. I'll
20:33
Speaker 3: make it myself and like, you know, go out and
20:35
Speaker 3: build a business and I'll be fine and all things.
20:37
Speaker 3: But I rejected the part of me that wanted to
20:39
Speaker 3: be taken care of emotionally, mentally, financially, all the things.
20:42
Speaker 3: And I remember I came to you and I was like,
20:44
Speaker 3: you know what, I used to judge and shame myself
20:47
Speaker 3: for wanting to be taken care of and provided for,
20:49
Speaker 3: but in terms of like safety, as if we don't
20:52
Speaker 3: want that as a woman, you're gonna like, you know,
20:56
Speaker 3: get married have kids, do all the things be mother naturally,
20:59
Speaker 3: you want to know that, like one, you're provided for,
21:01
Speaker 3: Your children are going to be safe and provided for,
21:04
Speaker 3: and money doesn't have to be the thing that is
21:06
Speaker 3: the biggest pain point in your life. Like when do
21:09
Speaker 3: we start judging wanting to have security?
21:13
Speaker 2: Just security is the minimum freedom to I don't have
21:16
Speaker 2: a life that we want and get a babysit we
21:18
Speaker 2: want or have the shiny things and go on the
21:20
Speaker 2: trips and do all the things, Like why should you
21:22
Speaker 2: be shamed for wanting that?
21:23
Speaker 3: And like wanting to experience life and in a beautiful way,
21:26
Speaker 3: and you're allowed to want what you want, Like there's
21:29
Speaker 3: no shame around wanting or for yourself and wanting the bigness.
21:33
Speaker 2: And anyone listening that's like, oh that's lazy or she
21:35
Speaker 2: shouldn't be like that, Like it's just what's coming up
21:37
Speaker 2: for you. Someone along the line has told you that
21:39
Speaker 2: you have to do it all to be a great mum,
21:41
Speaker 2: or to be a great person, or to be the
21:43
Speaker 2: best wife.
21:44
Speaker 3: I remember having like a bad experience with a man
21:47
Speaker 3: and being like I never want to have to rely
21:48
Speaker 3: on a man like that again. And whilst I make
21:50
Speaker 3: my own money. I'm also like, why can't I be
21:54
Speaker 3: secure in relying on a man without trying to push
21:57
Speaker 3: away that out of like a pain point?
21:59
Speaker 2: Does that make sense, you know?
22:01
Speaker 3: Of being like, well, I don't want to be like, oh,
22:03
Speaker 3: I'm this independent girl with this and that and reject
22:05
Speaker 3: the part of me that wants to be nurtured and
22:06
Speaker 3: loved and taken care of because I had one bad
22:09
Speaker 3: experience that you know, told me I have to do
22:11
Speaker 3: it all myself.
22:12
Speaker 2: And most secure masculine men want to take care of
22:16
Speaker 2: their women. I don't want this independent boss pabe, I've
22:20
Speaker 2: got it under need you.
22:21
Speaker 4: It's not cute.
22:22
Speaker 2: They want to take care of you, but it's.
22:24
Speaker 3: Just one part of being a woman. It's like, you
22:26
Speaker 3: can be independent and get shit done and be in
22:29
Speaker 3: your masculine, but you can also still be feminine.
22:33
Speaker 2: You got it.
22:34
Speaker 3: I don't not take my phone anywhere.
22:35
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, be on no timeline.
22:37
Speaker 4: Either the book, the restaurant that picking you up and
22:39
Speaker 4: the things.
22:40
Speaker 2: Yeah you ready at this time? Wear this.
22:43
Speaker 1: I think it's so nice that you were so honest
22:45
Speaker 1: with that answer, because I don't think that's the answer
22:47
Speaker 1: that I expected you to say. But it's like so valid,
22:52
Speaker 1: like we get it and coming from like the listeners
22:55
Speaker 1: wouldn't know this, but all three of us are dating older.
22:58
Speaker 3: Yeah.
22:58
Speaker 1: When I say dating, I'm married is twelve years, nine years,
23:04
Speaker 1: your a sixteen. So we all get it.
23:06
Speaker 2: We love the silver foxes all those. Steve has no grays,
23:09
Speaker 2: like when are you going to become a silver fox?
23:11
Speaker 2: Like a silver fox and he's.
23:12
Speaker 4: Got no graes.
23:12
Speaker 2: So good.
23:13
Speaker 4: He's aging well, good time, he's aged very well.
23:16
Speaker 1: Talking of money and earning your own money, you've talked
23:19
Speaker 1: about investments that you've made. What's the most money you've
23:23
Speaker 1: made from your investments? Which ones should we be doing?
23:27
Speaker 4: I love it. Yeah.
23:29
Speaker 3: I went through this sphase where I was like going
23:31
Speaker 3: through like all these temp jobs and trying to figure
23:34
Speaker 3: out what I wanted to do in life, and I
23:35
Speaker 3: ended up investing. Dabbled in trading that sort of thing
23:38
Speaker 3: like four X and crypto and that sort of stuff,
23:41
Speaker 3: but mostly I made money in stock market. So I
23:43
Speaker 3: invested in gold companies and the most that I made
23:47
Speaker 3: from this one company was like five hundred thousand. Wow. Yeah,
23:51
Speaker 3: over like a span of like six to eight months.
23:55
Speaker 3: I think I held it for that long and then yeah,
23:57
Speaker 3: it was able to like cash out.
23:59
Speaker 1: And how much did you put in?
24:00
Speaker 3: I invested twenty thousand, twenty thousand and a half a million.
24:04
Speaker 4: Yeah, what did you do with half a million?
24:06
Speaker 3: So I reinvested it back into cryptos. So I dispersed
24:10
Speaker 3: it over cryptos, and then I invested back. I probably
24:13
Speaker 3: invested like one hundred and fifty thousand back into myself
24:16
Speaker 3: in personal development in like business coaching, that sort of thing,
24:19
Speaker 3: and then the rest of it I reinvested it into
24:21
Speaker 3: like cryptos.
24:23
Speaker 1: WOA, And is it still in crypto?
24:25
Speaker 2: Is it still in crypto?
24:26
Speaker 3: I have a little bit, but not as much as
24:28
Speaker 3: I would like because I ended up pulling out, reinvesting
24:31
Speaker 3: more back into myself and growing my coaching business now.
24:35
Speaker 3: But yeah, it was cool. I got to like take
24:36
Speaker 3: me to that profit. Yeah that's aw cool.
24:38
Speaker 1: Yeah, what's your biggest fear?
24:43
Speaker 3: I think my biggest fear is not like realizing my
24:47
Speaker 3: potential in this life. Like I know I have like
24:49
Speaker 3: a lot to give, and I think a lot of
24:52
Speaker 3: the things that I've battled with in my own self
24:55
Speaker 3: worth is not feeling capable enough. I just know that
24:58
Speaker 3: I would regret if I got to the end of
25:00
Speaker 3: my life, and I didn't do the things that absolutely
25:02
Speaker 3: terrified me that helped me grow into that potential, even
25:06
Speaker 3: like decisions like this, you know, doing things that are
25:08
Speaker 3: stepping outside of my comfort zone and pushing my edge
25:12
Speaker 3: of what feels comfortable for me to do, because I
25:14
Speaker 3: know that what I have to share could be really
25:17
Speaker 3: valuable to like anyone who's listening, you know, from my
25:20
Speaker 3: own personal experience, you know, went from feeling so unworthy
25:24
Speaker 3: in myself and like punishing myself all the time and
25:28
Speaker 3: drinking and just not liking the person that I was,
25:30
Speaker 3: making bad choices and all those things to someone I'm
25:33
Speaker 3: really proud of being. And I'm like, even if I
25:35
Speaker 3: shared that story with one person that could help one person,
25:38
Speaker 3: like I'd be happy. So I think my biggest fear
25:40
Speaker 3: is not one hundred percent fully living up to my
25:42
Speaker 3: potential to experience what I want to experience in life,
25:46
Speaker 3: and the other fear is naturally just abandonment. It's a
25:48
Speaker 3: deep rooted fear, but I feel like I can manage
25:50
Speaker 3: it a little bit better now with like tools that
25:53
Speaker 3: I have from like personal development, being a coach, running
25:56
Speaker 3: myself through different processes and stuff. But it's definitely always
25:59
Speaker 3: in the back of my mind, especially when you get
26:01
Speaker 3: close to somebody you really love them, you know, it's
26:04
Speaker 3: like really close, some really vulnerable. It's like those views
26:07
Speaker 3: do come up of like what if this isn't forever?
26:09
Speaker 1: What does ten years time look like for you?
26:13
Speaker 4: That's a good question.
26:14
Speaker 3: I'd love to have my business be like super established
26:17
Speaker 3: on its own and to just not have to worry
26:20
Speaker 3: about money. So for me in ten years time, I
26:23
Speaker 3: would love to have, you know, been able to speak
26:25
Speaker 3: on multiple stages and like lead women into a journey
26:28
Speaker 3: of their own like that for me terrifies the absolute
26:32
Speaker 3: shit out of me. But it's for some reason. Since
26:34
Speaker 3: I was probably sixteen, I've said to myself, no, I'm
26:37
Speaker 3: going to do it that in that area for sure.
26:39
Speaker 1: And what's at home? The silver Fox?
26:43
Speaker 2: The silver Fox.
26:46
Speaker 4: Is so edgy or having like living on the same land.
26:50
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, getting a compound and like living with all
26:53
Speaker 3: your closest people and creating your own community like that
26:56
Speaker 3: would be an drink, Like if I could do that, that
26:58
Speaker 3: would be an ultimate dream.
27:00
Speaker 1: Your chosen village.
27:01
Speaker 2: Yeah, we grow our own vegetables, have all our stuff there,
27:04
Speaker 2: self sufficient. Kids just run into each house, like everyone
27:06
Speaker 2: just shares everything, got.
27:07
Speaker 3: Buggies to each house, you know, like you live with
27:10
Speaker 3: the people that you love, or you've got family there
27:12
Speaker 3: and you'll live in this one space.
27:13
Speaker 4: To get us every Sunday night, everyone just comes together.
27:15
Speaker 2: Oh my god, stop so fun. It'd be so fun.
27:18
Speaker 3: But yeah, definitely my silver fox, someone who I can
27:21
Speaker 3: do life with, is got my back. We're for each other.
27:24
Speaker 4: Kids.
27:25
Speaker 3: Maybe when I think of ten years time, I think kids. Yeah,
27:28
Speaker 3: lots of travel, just like, lots of experience and adventure.
27:31
Speaker 2: That's what I want.
27:32
Speaker 3: I want my life to just feel like I can
27:34
Speaker 3: look back and be like I really did all the
27:36
Speaker 3: things that I wanted to do with my life and
27:38
Speaker 3: I had fun doing it.
27:39
Speaker 4: You know.
27:40
Speaker 1: That's all my questions. Thank you so much fun answering
27:42
Speaker 1: them so honestly.
27:43
Speaker 3: Thanks thank you for having me and asking really good questions.
27:48
Speaker 2: Very edgy, but I love it.
27:49
Speaker 1: I'm an open book always. I'll keep writing them.
27:52
Speaker 4: I know we're back in a couple of months.
27:53
Speaker 3: Time for another way I go ham on me, don't
27:57
Speaker 3: hold back.
27:58
Speaker 2: Thanks for joining us, guys, We'll see in the next episode. Bye.