Latest / The Daily Sarcast / May 12th, 2026: People's Choice Awards, Papa Johns' Drone Service And Crumbs On My Laptop

Transcript

May 12th, 2026: People's Choice Awards, Papa Johns' Drone Service And Crumbs On My Laptop · The Daily Sarcast

• 0:00
  Today's episode is brought to you by being a working girl. It's better than
• 0:04
  being an unemployed girl.
• 0:06
  We've been developing Wordle as a game show for the past two and a half years
• 0:10
  with the New York Times, and it's official, we are making Wordle Game Show with
• 0:14
  our host, Savannah Guthrie.
• 0:16
  Jimmy Fallon, I'm starting a new game show soon.
• 0:19
  Insert theme song here. This is the Daily Starcast. I give you the news and
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  maybe a laugh. I'm Lindsay Vernick, and it's May 12th, 2026.
• 0:27
  I always forget to say this and I probably should always be saying this,
• 0:32
  but make sure to like and subscribe to this pod and also make sure that you
• 0:39
  share because I am close soon to maybe getting ads here.
• 0:44
  And like, wouldn't you love to be able to skip an ad on the Daily Starcast?
• 0:49
  Like, what a dream come true, right?
• 0:51
  So think of someone that you know right now that doesn't listen to the Daily
• 0:54
  Stork House that you know would probably enjoy it and make sure to send it to them.
• 0:58
  And maybe like one to five other people.
• 1:01
  In real news, a German tourist just won roughly $1,200 after suing a luxury
• 1:08
  resort in Greece because his family couldn't get chairs by the pool.
• 1:12
  We all know that when we go on vacation, we have to get down to the pool as
• 1:16
  soon as the sun comes up to get chairs. And by 8 a.m., every morning,
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  all the chairs are reserved with towels, despite nobody actually sitting in them. It's ridiculous.
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  And this family sued when they couldn't get any.
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  The family spent about $8,500 on this vacation and said they spent every day
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  wandering around in 95-degree weather looking for chairs while rows of empty
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  loungers just sat there with towels on them.
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  And the court agreed with them. The judge basically ruled that if you pay for
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  a luxury resort experience, you should be able to actually experience the luxury
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  instead of competing in what is essentially the Amazing Race,
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  but like vacation edition.
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  Also, hotels should probably stop pretending they enforce these rules.
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  Every resort has the same sign, guests may not reserve chairs.
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  And meanwhile, by sunrise, there's already a beach towel, sunglasses,
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  and a paperback novel someone is pretending to read on every chair.
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  At this point, getting a pool chair on vacation requires the strategy of a Navy SEAL operation.
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  Families are waking up, like, at 5 a.m. to secure territory.
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  Like, they're going to war, but with pina coladas.
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  So props to this family for monetizing on this.
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  The People's Choice Awards are coming back in 2027 because TV executives said,
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  you know what this country needs right now?
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  The categories now include influencers, podcasters, reality stars,
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  comedians, athletes, basically anyone that the Daily Mail has reported on.
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  Meanwhile, over at Oxygen, they just announced a new true crime show called
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  Snap'd, Rich Bitch Rampage, which is maybe the greatest title in television history.
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  Maybe even better than cheap-ass beach houses.
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  Oh, and Maury is hosting a new DNA crime series now, which honestly tracks.
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  The man spent decades revealing paternity results. This is basically a promotion for him.
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  Papa John's is officially getting into drone delivery, which sounds very futuristic
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  until you find out they're not delivering pizza. They're delivering sandwiches.
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  That's right. Humanity finally invented flying food robots, and the first thing
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  we use them for is a chicken bacon ranch melt hovering over a suburban North
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  Carolina neighborhood.
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  The drones are part of a partnership with Wing, which is owned by Alphabet,
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  and apparently pizza is too difficult to fly because the box is too flat and tilts in the air.
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  Which probably now explains why every time I carry a pizza home myself,
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  it looks like it survived a natural disaster.
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  Meanwhile, another company says they finally solved the pizza problem with a
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  giant spider-looking drone carrying pizzas in a hanging bag.
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  So somewhere over Texas right now, there's a flying robot transporting Little
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  Caesars like the world's saddest Marvel superhero.
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  And the craziest part is the CEO literally said, I want to see pizzas coming
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  at me from the sky, which is either very innovative or the exact sentence someone
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  says right after they eat an edible or both.
• 4:19
  In Lindsay life, I only called my mom once yesterday, and for context,
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  I call the girl on average two to five times a day.
• 4:27
  Lindsay lessons, a lesson by Linz. If you eat a cupcake over your computer,
• 4:32
  you're probably going to get sprinkles stuck between the keys and probably a little icing too.
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  Cooking tip of the day. A piece of chocolate a day keeps the bad mood kind of away.
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  Feedback, comments, questions, a nice Jewish boy looking for a date,
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  email me at lindsay at thedailysarcast.com. Thanks so much for listening.
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  Talk to you guys tomorrow.