Latest / The Kink Consultant / Sex Magic, Sigils, and Masturbating to Your Manifestations: A Conversation on Sex Alchemy with Lucy Baldwin

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Sex Magic, Sigils, and Masturbating to Your Manifestations: A Conversation on Sex Alchemy with Lucy Baldwin · The Kink Consultant

• 0:08
  It's the King Consultant podcast where we're turning up the heat
• 0:11
  on all things kink and dating, relationships and pop culture.
• 0:14
  So close the door, plugging your headphones and let's get down to
• 0:17
  it. Hey everyone, and welcome to
• 0:24
  this week's episode of the King Consultant Podcast where I would
• 0:27
  like to introduce Lucy Baldwin, a shadow alchemist and magician.
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  And when I heard that she was doing sex magic, which we're
• 0:36
  going to find out about shadow alchemy, I said I need you on
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  the podcast because I need to understand what these things
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  are. And I think a lot more people
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  need to understand in general. So welcome, Lucy.
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  Thank you so much for having me. Well thank you for being here.
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  OK so in our intro emails you were talking a little bit about
• 0:54
  existential kink, shadow alchemy, and then you said and
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  sex magic. All I saw was sex magic and big
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  words. I was like what is sex magic?
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  So if you don't mind, I would like to start there because that
• 1:05
  has my curiosity super peaked. And I didn't let you talk about
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  it in the intro call because I was like wait no, I want to find
• 1:10
  out in real time so everyone can experience the excitement of
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  learning this together. So would you mind explaining
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  that? Yes.
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  So magic is real. That's the first thing I want to
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  say. And I'm talking about real
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  magic, of course, not fantasy magic.
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  This isn't like Harry Potter magic.
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  This is actual magic, like rituals that we do, which if you
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  don't believe in anything mystical or woo, you can just
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  think of it as communicating with your own mind,
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  communicating with your own unconscious.
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  But sex is one of the most powerful tools that a magician
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  can use because magic is all about metaphors.
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  It's all about using symbols to communicate, communicate with
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  our unconscious. And so sex is kind of like the
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  ultimate symbol of creation. I mean, we have sex to make
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  human life that we literally create universes by having sex.
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  But not only that, the magic is much more powerful when you can
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  evoke sensation in yourself, like when you can really feel
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  things in your body that kind of locks the symbol into like the
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  material world. So it's not just like happening
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  in your mind, it's like bringing it into the body.
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  And of course, sex is one of the most powerful initiators for our
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  nervous system, especially for women.
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  But our genitals are kind of like our second brain and
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  there's a ton of like sensory information and nervous system
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  anchoring that's happening in that region.
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  So when we use sex in magic, we create, it's like a powerhouse.
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  There's so much power in our sexuality and in our Eroticism
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  and doing magic and going into these places in ourselves and
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  getting really aroused and getting turned on and having
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  orgasms. Even just like really simple
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  magic. There's this thing called sigil
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  magic where you basically like create a symbol for something.
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  I think the common way that you're supposed to like charge
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  that symbol to give it power is to masturbate an orgasm while
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  staring at the symbol. That's just like the most basic
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  level sex magic. Anything that requires
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  masturbation to seal it, I'm in. So number one, I love of that.
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  But also I'm realizing I do sigil magic, I think without
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  thinking about it. I am a huge fan of manifestation
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  and sometimes I try and attach a symbol to it that I create in my
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  head that I'm like, OK, if I were to draw a stick figure of
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  what I'm imagining and it might look nothing like it, but I'm
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  realizing I think that's a sigil.
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  And I've never masturbated to the thought of my sigil or like
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  having that be present. But I thinking that's what I
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  need to try. I literally have a sigil in mind
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  that I'm like, this is happening today, OK?
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  So yeah, because you're making a symbol of the thing that you
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  want to manifest, and then you're searing it into your
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  psyche by staring at it while you orgasm and have this big
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  nervous system experience. And so you're like, it's just
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  psychology. I mean, you're just literally
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  embedding that symbol into your psyche.
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  I love it. I've heard of people
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  masturbating to their vision boards.
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  I have a friend that does that too, Catherine Jaisdale.
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  Shout out to you who? I came over one day and she's
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  like, oh I was masturbating to this.
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  I was like, OK, I don't think I could come from that, but that's
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  fine. But yeah, OK, I know this is a
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  practice, but I don't think I've ever put it all together, OK,
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  Loving all of it. So many things just went off in
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  my head when you talked about it.
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  I talk about your vagina, your genitals, your pussy and being
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  aligned with it all the time because it's my greatest source
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  of pleasure. I want to be aligned with it in
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  my body. I'm a Somatica coach and we talk
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  about like thinking with your pussy, checking in if it's
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  happy, and then knowing your decision, just like you're
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  talking about of knowing if your nervous system is settled and
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  OK. And that check in means a lot.
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  So before I even talk about sex with other people, I want to
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  actually, I was going to say double dip, but that's like a
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  terrible innuendo when we're talking about a vagina.
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  I want to double tap. Also a terrible innuendo.
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  OK, I want to talk more about that.
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  Is there a way through any of the work you do to get more in
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  touch with your vagina? Yes, absolutely.
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  I mean, one of the practices that you mentioned, I think in
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  your intro of me is existential kink, which is a really powerful
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  practice of actually trying to get off.
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  It's kind of the opposite of what we just said.
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  It's actually getting off on things that are like, don't like
• 5:28
  situations in your life. So literally getting aroused by
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  not having the things that you want, just like struggling in
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  relationships. But when you do that practice
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  regularly, I've noticed for me, I can feel when things have a
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  charge in my genitals, it's like I'm in a shitty situation and
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  something's making me mad and I'm upset about it.
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  But then I can feel that like, oh, but I'm actually turned on
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  by this. And so, yeah, like, I just
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  really believe in using our turn on as a guide.
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  But this is where, you know, the kink part comes in.
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  It's like some of the stuff that were turned on by is not what we
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  actually want. And so that's where existential
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  kink comes in, the practice where you actually get off on
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  those things and you find that turn on in your body, you
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  release the charge by letting yourself fully go there and
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  potentially climax if possible. And it can be a stroking
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  practice too. It's not originally meant to be
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  a stroking practice, but it is very successful as a stroking
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  practice where you literally get off on those things and then it
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  can kind of release the charge. And yeah, it's sort of the
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  opposite of what we just talked about, but it's the same thing.
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  It's like the reverse psychology of it.
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  OK, I'm thinking of like 10 things that I hate.
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  I hate losing a pickleball. It makes me really angry.
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  Would I masturbate to that? Like it's not a kink to lose a
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  pickleball. Like everything that happens in
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  the kink world, it also effects our outside world.
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  So why can't we rely on each other to better it?
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  So can we go with the pickleball example real quick?
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  I'm not even a great player. I just get very angry at myself
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  and I lose. Is there possibility to meld
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  that in to work through? It Yeah, absolutely.
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  The way the practice works is you would literally like lay
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  down and you would think about what that feels like.
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  That anger, that frustration that you feel when you lose and
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  then you think about the situation, but you feel into
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  your body because anger is very arousing.
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  I often go coach people to tell themselves like, oh, I give
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  myself permission to enjoy this feeling of anger.
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  I give myself permission to like, feel how much I really
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  like like this. It doesn't always turn into
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  actual pussy arousal. Sometimes it will be like
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  laughter or just like vibration and the turn on can come in that
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  form. But a lot of times it is very
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  erotic and it can lead to, yeah, arousal and orgasm.
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  OK, I'm going to try it. I don't know, I'm worried about
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  becoming angrier or enjoying my anger so much I lean into anger
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  as opposed to finding the enjoyment of it.
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  Yeah, and that is a common thing that people are worried about.
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  But The thing is, if you're getting off on your anger,
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  you're not angry. You're amused.
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  You know, you're delighted, or at least you're enjoying the
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  anger, you know what I mean? Like if you're getting off on
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  it, then you're enjoying it and it's no longer taking from you.
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  Okay, I like this example. I'm really glad we worked
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  through it because I'm like OK, I'm going to try that.
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  It's funny because I think that this would also help for people
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  who might feel discomfort in being touched as well, depending
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  on the source reason that they're uncomfortable with being
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  touched. But acclimatizing to the idea of
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  it while also hating it, it sounds like it could create a
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  connection of pleasure. Do you ever work with people on
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  that? So a lot of the work that I do
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  with people on this mostly is like there's no touch happening.
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  It's just literally feeling the sensation in the body, which for
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  a lot of people is actually really hard to do.
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  But of course, the better you get at turning your attention to
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  focus on the sensations that are happening in your body, the
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  better sex you're going to have, the better pleasure you're going
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  to be able to have. And also we all kind of have a
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  threshold for how much pleasure we're willing to feel.
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  Those thresholds vary like depending on the type of
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  pleasure. So I do a lot of work with
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  people where it's just feeling into their body and allowing the
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  sensation and training yourself to recognize sensations as
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  pleasure. Sometimes people will start with
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  like, OK, is it familiar? Is there some comfort in that
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  familiarity? Can you enjoy that feeling?
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  Like can you enjoy that sensation?
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  And of course the sensation is always changing.
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  Are you craving deeper intimacy and the freedom to explore your
• 9:38
  desires without shame? Do you feel nervous bringing
• 9:41
  kink up with your partner? Or maybe you're curious to start
• 9:44
  but don't know where to begin. That's exactly where coaching
• 9:47
  comes in, and I've helped countless couples and
• 9:49
  individuals navigate kink in their lives and relationships.
• 9:52
  Book your console today at amandadames.com and let's make
• 9:56
  your desires feel doable. That's fascinating and extremely
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  relatable because even though I do think I'm pretty in my body
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  most of the time, there are moments where I feel I have deep
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  feelings on things and I'm not creating any connection of what
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  that sensation is or could I enjoy it.
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  So that is a new lens I'm going to look through for it.
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  OK. Can you do sex magic with a
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  partner? Oh yeah.
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  OK, do they need to know that you are doing it with them?
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  No, they don't need to know. I mean, they can know.
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  I've definitely had partners who were involved in like magic
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  stuff that they didn't they didn't know.
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  OK, consent, yes, but this is something that's more spiritual
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  and psychological. OK, let's talk about how can you
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  do sex magic with a partner. So there's actually a lot of
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  like literature of different sort of like sex magic rituals,
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  old ancient rituals and stuff. I don't know if you're familiar
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  with like the beatnik movement, They had a Yab Yum, which was a
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  sex position that was sort of, I would argue, ritualistic.
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  They were using it for like meditation, sort of getting into
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  like the Tantra. But even in the best, there were
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  a lot of big sex magic rituals and they've actually talked
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  about this practice called the holy hexagram.
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  So the hexagram is like a big symbol in magic because it's
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  like the union of the body and soul, matter and mind, like the
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  bringing everything into balance because that's what humans are,
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  right? Like we're mind and matter in
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  balance and. That's new to me.
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  I never thought about it like that but as soon as you said it
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  I was like yes, actually we are mind and matter in balance some
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  days. But yes, seeking balance.
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  Seeking that balance. So this holy hexagram is 69.
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  It's just like the 69 is the holy hexagram.
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  My favorite position. No one believes me because
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  everyone thinks like it's this fake overrated position.
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  It is not. I love it.
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  Yeah, sometimes it takes some maneuvering to find the right
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  position, but there's actually this ritual that I've come
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  across. I think it's like the most
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  powerful magic ritual where you literally like do a 69 in each
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  of the like 4 directions. Like east, West, north-south.
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  Because again, ritual and magic, it's just using symbols to
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  communicate things. So if you want to manifest
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  something, I mean actual male, female penetrative sex is the
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  ultimate ultimate symbol of manifestation.
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  Is that because it creates life? Exactly.
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  OK, I mean, that makes a ton of sense.
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  I'm actually still thinking like, OK, how am I going to have
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  69 in all four positions? This is such a silly question.
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  I recognize that I'm assuming you don't have to go to climax.
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  You could start one way. Move, move, move.
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  Right, Yeah, because I think that it would be really hard.
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  So I've done it like waiting till the end to climax.
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  My partner and I cannot climax four times but what we have been
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  able to in chief. This is so I can't believe I'm
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  sharing this on a podcast, but I'm totally fine with it is like
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  alternating so one of us is climaxing in each position like
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  in each location because. Someone does need to climax.
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  I don't think that that's required, but I was like, I
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  really want to have one climax in each direction.
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  Oh, I love that. OK, I know because I'm thinking
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  like I don't have the energy anymore for four climax.
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  Climaxes. That's a lot.
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  That's a lot of work on my job when I'm like considering like
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  the work I would have to do to stay in my base.
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  And that's just a reality of it. OK, But I like that that's
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  something you would do to bind a specific manifestation or
• 13:28
  request of the universe. That's like a specific ritual
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  that is more about doing the great work of integrating the
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  opposites within ourselves. But you could do that as like a
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  manifestation ritual. People always think, oh, magic,
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  like, am I going to mess it up? Am I going to do it wrong?
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  But you can't really do it wrong because again, you're
• 13:46
  communicating with your own mind, you're communicating with
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  yourself. So you get to decide what it
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  means and what you're going to get out of it.
• 13:54
  Ooh, that's a really good point because I am one of those, oh am
• 13:57
  I going to do it wrong people, especially when you hear so many
• 14:01
  things on Instagram and tick tock like don't manifest right
• 14:05
  now because this moon is only going to ruin it or like this
• 14:08
  whatever is happening in the universe.
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  I'm a firm believer in oh, Mercury's retrograde.
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  Some things are going to be difficult or certain moons might
• 14:16
  mean certain things. I care about eclipses.
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  I have a friend who won't start anything new during Mercury
• 14:21
  retrograde and I think that's a little far, but that's her own
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  thing. And I like what you're saying
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  though. We kind of own it and it's our
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  power more than anything else unless I don't know.
• 14:31
  Do you have any thoughts on planets?
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  Mercury retrograde the Moon. Moon Magic.
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  I have a whole podcast about planetary magic called The
• 14:38
  Seven. I've actually taught classes on
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  this, like how we use magic to take the planets as allies so
• 14:46
  that they don't have this undue power over us.
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  I love astrology, but one of my biggest complaints is that it
• 14:52
  kind of presents us as a victims.
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  It's like the planets are in charge and we don't have any
• 14:57
  sovereignty. And, you know, we're just kind
• 14:59
  of at the whim of whatever's happening.
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  And I'm like, or we could take the planets on as allies,
• 15:05
  negotiate with them and ask them for what we want.
• 15:08
  And turn Mercury retrograde into a positive and work with Mercury
• 15:13
  do like a little ritual to ask Mercury to reverse the meaning
• 15:17
  of Mercury retrograde. And now I have extra mercurial
• 15:20
  magic during the retrograde. That's kind of how I like to
• 15:23
  frame it. Oh, I love that.
• 15:24
  OK, I do have that same issue with astrology, but I'm a firm
• 15:28
  believer in astrology because sometimes I look back when I go
• 15:31
  to astrologers, they'll be able to tell me what happened in my
• 15:34
  life at different ages. And I'm like, how did you know
• 15:36
  that? And it's like, well, it's in
• 15:37
  your chart. So sometimes it does feel like
• 15:40
  it does just know. And it can know the good and the
• 15:42
  bad. But yes, that also plays on my
• 15:44
  mind. I'm glad we're going through all
• 15:45
  of my insecurities about what's happening.
• 15:47
  This is helping. Yeah.
• 15:49
  Helping calm my mind about things that until you said it, I
• 15:52
  didn't realize. Yes.
• 15:52
  I actually put a lot of brain power into thinking about these
• 15:55
  things, including my own astrology chart.
• 15:57
  I get a lot of hate for almost everything I say in different
• 16:00
  ways. Do you find people attack this
• 16:02
  sex magic thing or are people pretty receptive when you bring
• 16:06
  it up? I would say that sounds like a
• 16:07
  kink. There's probably there'll be
• 16:09
  some part of you that's getting off on that.
• 16:10
  On people being angry at me, Oh my God, that's a really
• 16:13
  interesting thing I get. Nope, I get angry back.
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  I do find power in it. Like recently I posted about
• 16:20
  this. I had someone posting very
• 16:22
  religious comments like the passive aggressive sending Bible
• 16:25
  verses on my podcast and it did fire me up.
• 16:29
  And it just reminded me like in the same week someone sent me an
• 16:32
  article about why the Catholic Church says BDSM is wrong.
• 16:36
  It was adding fuel to a fire that has probably made me more
• 16:38
  productive than I normally am because I'm like, Oh no, yeah,
• 16:42
  kink isn't accepted. I absolutely need to be out
• 16:44
  doing my job. So there is something to it.
• 16:47
  But I wonder if it's also magnifying for me.
• 16:49
  When one small thing happens, I focus on it because I don't
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  think I get off on it. I think I'm like, am I doing
• 16:55
  something wrong? And then I have to remind myself
• 16:56
  I'm not, and then I find power in that.
• 16:59
  Does that make sense? Yeah, you're using it to fuel
• 17:02
  you. Yeah, and that has been a common
• 17:05
  motivator for me. But there are definitely things
• 17:07
  that I secretly get off on that I don't like.
• 17:10
  Sorry, I totally turned your question around.
• 17:11
  I never get the reason I said that.
• 17:13
  I'm so sorry. No, no.
• 17:14
  You took me on a different path by the way, but you answer and
• 17:17
  then I have another. Question for you, Yeah, I don't
• 17:19
  get that. Pretty much everyone in my field
• 17:22
  is super into planetary magic and this weird kinky shadow work
• 17:27
  stuff. I love it.
• 17:28
  Most people in my field are either totally neutral on it or
• 17:32
  very into it. I can't believe I'm I'm
• 17:34
  admitting this on the podcast. One of the things I do want is
• 17:36
  fame money and fame money because I want to be able to do
• 17:40
  the work I love doing without having to worry.
• 17:42
  And it fluctuates a lot. And then fame, not because I
• 17:46
  personally want to be famous. I want to be the Doctor Ruth of
• 17:48
  kink because I want it to be more accepted.
• 17:51
  I want people to understand this is a powerful tool in your
• 17:53
  relationship. It's not what the media has
• 17:54
  portrayed it as. These are the two things I
• 17:57
  always try and manifest. Is there a more efficient way I
• 18:00
  could be doing it? And when you brought up, is
• 18:02
  there a part of you that enjoys the negativity?
• 18:05
  What immediately clicked for me? Is there a part of me that
• 18:07
  enjoys struggling? Because I do feel sometimes I'm
• 18:11
  shadow banned on Instagram. Sometimes I get like a lot of
• 18:14
  trolls hating. And then sometimes I get like 10
• 18:17
  new clients a month and then next month it's three.
• 18:20
  And that really panics me. Is there a way to integrate this
• 18:23
  type of magic to sort of work past that?
• 18:25
  I mean, I would definitely recommend.
• 18:29
  So there's kind of two sides that I'm talking about here.
• 18:31
  There's like the side of the shadow alchemy and using
• 18:35
  something like existential kink to kind of unravel whatever
• 18:38
  beliefs or identities you have that are potentially holding you
• 18:41
  back. If you, for example, believe
• 18:44
  that you should struggle or some part of you is getting off on
• 18:47
  struggling or I'm just latching on struggling because you
• 18:49
  mentioned that. But you know, whatever it is, it
• 18:51
  could be that you have an identity of not being famous.
• 18:55
  Then there's doing that Ek kind of or other shadow alchemy work
• 19:00
  around that. So changing our beliefs and
• 19:03
  identities will change how we're able to show up in the world,
• 19:06
  like it changes what we're able to sort of bring forward.
• 19:09
  And then on the other side is the manifestation magic of
• 19:12
  calling in the money and fame and success.
• 19:17
  You could do that definitely through sex magic.
• 19:19
  And the two are also, I'm presenting them as separate and
• 19:22
  they often are thought of as separate.
• 19:24
  And also they can kind of be the same thing because you could
• 19:27
  literally do a ritual where during in the ritual you're
• 19:30
  getting off on the idea of not being successful and combine
• 19:34
  them. Thank you.
• 19:36
  That was very helpful. And I recognize that doesn't
• 19:38
  necessarily have to do with kink, but I think we might be a
• 19:41
  line that a lot of things have to do with kink.
• 19:43
  It was rejection, a kind of kink of mine, and I think that is the
• 19:47
  epitome kind of existential kink.
• 19:50
  Is that correct? So can we talk a little bit
• 19:52
  more? I know we touched on it, but if
• 19:54
  I wanted to go deep on existential kink, what path
• 19:58
  would I take? What could I do to start my
• 20:00
  journey there? First of all, there's a book by
• 20:02
  Carolyn Elliott, who's a friend of mine.
• 20:04
  And yeah, I do have a podcast that I think I mentioned.
• 20:07
  It's called Penetrate Radio, which is a bunch of certified
• 20:11
  coaches in existential kink, and it's hosted by me talking about
• 20:14
  the practice and we also have a community around it.
• 20:17
  But I think that the main thing is there's some key
• 20:21
  understandings that existential kink brings.
• 20:23
  One of them is basically this idea that we are capable of
• 20:28
  getting off on anything. It's like pain does not equal
• 20:32
  suffering. So this was actually born out of
• 20:35
  orgasmic meditation. Are you familiar with the
• 20:37
  orgasmic meditation movement at all?
• 20:39
  That's not like the cult in LA. It is that cult in LA.
• 20:42
  It is that cult, Yeah, Yeah. So.
• 20:45
  Are we in real time? Are you pro cult in LA or?
• 20:48
  No, I'm not. I was never part of the cult.
• 20:50
  But my friend who wrote the book Existential Kink, she was part
• 20:54
  of that. She wasn't like putting it on,
• 20:56
  but she was one of the people who, like, bought the programs
• 20:59
  from those people. But yeah, the woman, Nicole
• 21:01
  Daydone, is in jail. The woman who ran that it would
• 21:04
  have been. Real interesting if mid podcast
• 21:06
  I realized you were part of this.
• 21:08
  I'm familiar with the baseline and the foundational
• 21:11
  information, but then also how it was Co opted by this group at
• 21:14
  the beginning. Like many cults, it sounded
• 21:16
  beautiful but they just Co opted it.
• 21:19
  They didn't come up with it. Well, they tried to control
• 21:21
  everybody's life, I think is what happened.
• 21:24
  And to be a cult move, yes. So yeah.
• 21:27
  Who has time for that? Like seriously, who has time to
• 21:29
  do? That and who cares?
• 21:31
  I think it's a money grabbing thing more than anything but.
• 21:34
  They were doing some really shady practices.
• 21:37
  I know a lot of people who were members of that and they were
• 21:40
  doing some really shady stuff. But the key idea from that, one
• 21:44
  of the key ideas is like, so they would do this stroking
• 21:47
  practice called orgasmic meditation for the woman.
• 21:50
  So it was very like male, female.
• 21:52
  The male would stroke the female with gloves and Lube.
• 21:55
  And there was a very specific way that they were supposed to
• 21:57
  stroke. And as the female receiving
• 21:59
  this, you're supposed to practice getting off on every
• 22:02
  stroke. Every.
• 22:03
  Stroke. Yeah.
• 22:05
  So the idea is like some strokes are actually really
• 22:07
  uncomfortable. And like a big part of the
• 22:09
  practice was to like train yourself to learn to get off on
• 22:13
  every stroke, to experience the strokes as pleasure.
• 22:18
  And that is kind of the foundational idea of existential
• 22:22
  kink. It's like in life, we can get
• 22:25
  off on every stroke and there is a part of us that is getting off
• 22:30
  on it. And even if it's unconscious,
• 22:33
  even if we're not aware of it, like there's some part of us
• 22:35
  that is enjoying everything that's happening and so getting
• 22:39
  in touch with that, but on a somatic level, because you can't
• 22:43
  convince yourself that you like something that you don't like.
• 22:46
  It's not something you can think your way into.
• 22:49
  You have to feel your way into it, which is why I mentioned
• 22:52
  when you're talking about the was it volleyball?
• 22:54
  Pickleball. Pickleball like feeling into
• 22:57
  what it feels like when you get angry in the body and then
• 23:01
  getting off on the that. Not like, oh, I like getting off
• 23:05
  on pickleball. People try to do that and it
• 23:07
  doesn't work like that. That makes sense.
• 23:09
  OK, yeah, I see how that works. I want to retract any statement
• 23:13
  about cultiness because I understand now the foundational
• 23:16
  thing. And I do remember that thing of
• 23:17
  like, there was a very specific way that women were masturbated
• 23:20
  to feel pleasure, but it was very extreme, maybe the extent
• 23:24
  they took it to. Is this a practice that I could
• 23:26
  try myself or do I need to take a class on it?
• 23:29
  Like orgasmic meditation or existential kink?
• 23:32
  Orgasmic Meditation. I wasn't involved in it, but I
• 23:35
  just looked up online. There's YouTube videos that tell
• 23:38
  you how to do it and it's actually very simple, but it's
• 23:41
  like a man. I mean, I don't think it needs
• 23:43
  to have to be a man, but like with gloves on and Lube is
• 23:46
  supposed to like stroke you at a very specific location and
• 23:50
  there's a timer and it's just very contained.
• 23:52
  Sounds very like sensory overload to me because I'm very
• 23:58
  sensitive in general. And then what's the best way to
• 24:01
  experience or start your journey with existential kink?
• 24:05
  I mean, I would definitely recommend either reading the
• 24:08
  book or listening to it and then just trying the practice.
• 24:12
  But you can also, yeah, obviously listen to my podcast
• 24:15
  and I do have a community that's just based on this.
• 24:18
  It's like a low cost. It's like less than the cost of
• 24:21
  a manicure every month. And we just have calls because
• 24:24
  it's a big thing. It's like a big thing that the
• 24:27
  book alone just doesn't really take you through the process.
• 24:31
  My friend and I used to actually, we taught, we ran the
• 24:34
  certification program to like train existential king coaches.
• 24:37
  And that program doesn't exist anymore as of right now.
• 24:40
  But yeah, you can go really deep with it because it's a whole
• 24:44
  philosophy. And a big piece of it that I
• 24:46
  also want to mention is radical approval.
• 24:48
  Like you have to approve of whatever the situation is in
• 24:52
  order to get off on it. It's kind of like one of the key
• 24:55
  things. It's like you can actually get
• 24:57
  off on almost anything if you approve of it.
• 25:00
  And shame is the thing that can actually stop or like the belief
• 25:04
  that we shouldn't like whatever it is.
• 25:05
  You know, we have all these stories and that's what makes it
• 25:08
  hard to access our pleasure. I feel that well, shame just
• 25:12
  gets in the way of almost anything and this is like a way
• 25:15
  to handle or own the shame and turn it into something that you
• 25:20
  accept about yourself and find pleasure in.
• 25:22
  That sounds really amazing. Early on in my king journey,
• 25:25
  I've talked about this before. I literally went to a
• 25:27
  hypnotherapist to try and not be kinky anymore because I have a
• 25:30
  fetish, not a kink. All of my listeners have heard
• 25:32
  this before, but essentially I have a punishment in spanking
• 25:35
  fetish. I need to think about that to
• 25:37
  get off. I have never gotten off to any
• 25:39
  other thought other than that. So the sigil would have to be on
• 25:42
  the side of also my fetish. And I literally went to
• 25:45
  hypnotherapist to try and get rid of this.
• 25:48
  And as you say, and I'm like, it probably would have been a much
• 25:51
  easier path in life had I gone down maybe even the existential
• 25:55
  kink route of being able to accept it about myself.
• 25:59
  Luckily the hypnotherapist said she wouldn't do it for me and
• 26:02
  that encouraged me never to get it done.
• 26:04
  And I never pursued it in any other way.
• 26:06
  Didn't talk to any other hypnotherapist.
• 26:08
  And then I found my own journey. My own journey was exposure,
• 26:10
  working as a dominatrix and a dungeon.
• 26:12
  There were a lot of things I did that helped me to get past it.
• 26:15
  But it sounds like existential kink would have been an amazing
• 26:17
  thing for me to work with in my early 20s.
• 26:21
  Do you get many people of all age ranges that are using it to
• 26:24
  really break past their shame? Yes, definitely, definitely.
• 26:27
  And a lot of people like 30 and up mostly.
• 26:30
  Really. Yeah, yeah.
• 26:31
  That tracks because, you know, I think also in your 30s is where
• 26:34
  you really start to get a hold of things and realize you cannot
• 26:36
  live with shame forever. Yep.
• 26:38
  And work past it. What's the normal path or
• 26:40
  experience of someone who starts to seek out existential king?
• 26:44
  For example, if I hired you as a coach, what would it look like
• 26:47
  to? Work with you thing that we
• 26:50
  talked about is literally holding radical approval for our
• 26:53
  clients and also holding turn on just being like not necessarily
• 26:58
  sexually aroused, but like in turn on for whatever they're
• 27:01
  sharing about with us. And then I just use a variety of
• 27:05
  tools, but a lot of it involves getting into the body and
• 27:08
  working with our identities and beliefs that we have like the
• 27:10
  belief that I shouldn't be turned on by punishment.
• 27:13
  You know, I would probably if I had been your coach back when
• 27:17
  you were seeking help with that, I would have like held a lot of
• 27:20
  space for you in from the angle of like, I totally approve of
• 27:24
  this fetish. I think it's amazing for you.
• 27:27
  And I wouldn't necessarily say that, but that's how I would
• 27:29
  treat it and try to help you kind of overcome the belief that
• 27:34
  you should be any different from exactly how you are.
• 27:37
  And that's just like really therapeutic for people because
• 27:40
  we just have so many opinions about what is good and bad and
• 27:43
  right and wrong. And that's what creates all of
• 27:45
  this shame and repression, And kink is really the outlet for
• 27:49
  that in every way that it can be.
• 27:51
  I totally see that and I love that acceptance.
• 27:54
  It's a lot of my own work too, is about just teaching people
• 27:58
  that it's what they want is OK. Because a lot of times,
• 28:00
  especially by your 30s, you've at least had 25 very focused
• 28:04
  years on how to be normal. Like the world trying to tell
• 28:07
  you this is what you're supposed to look like.
• 28:09
  I mean, almost in a culty way of this is how you have to be.
• 28:12
  We want to control your life so you can form and fit.
• 28:15
  And that is not healthy. And it's oftentimes there are a
• 28:17
  lot of negative impacts on body image, on status and society,
• 28:22
  but also kink, especially like what you want in the bedroom.
• 28:25
  I don't know how this rumor started that everyone just wants
• 28:28
  vanilla sex or non KE sex. Honestly, it's this idea that if
• 28:32
  you're doing something different, be quiet about it and
• 28:34
  just don't tell anyone and it's fine.
• 28:35
  And that's hurting our ability to explore and enjoy our
• 28:38
  pleasure as much as we could. OK, I love it.
• 28:41
  So you've mentioned 2 podcasts now on the show today you have
• 28:46
  one about planetary guides, or what's that one?
• 28:49
  Planetary magic. Are you still doing that one?
• 28:52
  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, awesome.
• 28:53
  OK. And then the newer one on
• 28:56
  existential kink. And what's that called?
• 28:59
  It's called Penetrate Radio. Penetrate Radio, yes OK, I love
• 29:03
  it. I genuinely do though.
• 29:04
  Any type of innuendo or OK, so between where can I find all
• 29:08
  these podcasts? I mean we will include links in
• 29:11
  the show notes, but where can I find you?
• 29:13
  Where can people go learn more about the work you do,
• 29:16
  existential kink, planetary magic, and your coaching?
• 29:20
  Yeah, I mean, I have a website which is Lucy Baldwin dot me,
• 29:24
  which is actually just a great place to start because
• 29:26
  everything is on there. I'm also on Instagram.
• 29:28
  Lucy Baldwin, author. It's Lucy dot Baldwin dot
• 29:31
  author. I mean, my website is probably
• 29:33
  the best place. But yeah, I also, this podcast,
• 29:35
  Penetrate Radio is brand new and that's really getting into the
• 29:39
  existential kink stuff. The Seven podcast is really
• 29:42
  about working with the planets and planetary magic.
• 29:44
  Different kind of thing. OK, how often are you releasing
• 29:47
  the Planetary Magic 1? Every week.
• 29:50
  Oh, wow, that's. I mean, I do this every week as
• 29:52
  well. I'm just like, oh, I don't know
• 29:54
  why. I'll explain.
• 29:55
  I thought planets move slow, so she's probably doing one a
• 29:58
  month. But yeah, every week.
• 29:59
  Wow, that's a lot. Or just more than I expected, I
• 30:01
  should say. All right, so I will include
• 30:03
  links to those shows in the show notes.
• 30:06
  Lucy, it has been wonderful having you here.
• 30:09
  I've had so much fun learning about things.
• 30:11
  I felt I knew about them but I'm like maybe I didn't know as much
• 30:14
  as I thought. So thank you so much.
• 30:15
  I will be practicing with my sigils tonight.
• 30:19
  Thank you so much for having me. If you enjoyed this episode,
• 30:23
  don't forget to subscribe, leave a review and share it with
• 30:26
  anyone who might find it interesting.
• 30:28
  And if you have any questions or topics you'd like me to cover in
• 30:30
  future episodes, feel free to reach out e-mail
• 30:33
  info@thekingconsultant.com. Until next time, keep on kinking
• 30:37
  on.